1
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:13,102
Sheldon, it's not a great time!
2
00:00:13,104 --> 00:00:14,570
What do you want?
3
00:00:14,572 --> 00:00:17,806
Hello to you, too.
4
00:00:17,808 --> 00:00:20,576
I'm sorry,
but this is important.
5
00:00:20,578 --> 00:00:22,211
What is it?
6
00:00:22,213 --> 00:00:23,779
Back to the Future II was
7
00:00:23,781 --> 00:00:26,682
in the Back to the Future III
case...
8
00:00:26,684 --> 00:00:29,151
and Back to the Future III
was-- get this--
9
00:00:29,153 --> 00:00:32,321
in the Back to the Future II
case.
10
00:00:32,764 --> 00:00:34,298
So?
11
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:39,436
So, did you do that, or am I
in the house with an intruder?
12
00:00:40,405 --> 00:00:42,523
Sheldon, I got to go inside.
13
00:00:42,525 --> 00:00:45,359
It's getting rough out here.
14
00:00:46,528 --> 00:00:49,446
You're dodging the question;
I knew it was you.
15
00:00:50,231 --> 00:00:53,033
(deep rumbling growl)
16
00:00:53,035 --> 00:00:54,385
What was that?
17
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:55,903
What was what?
18
00:00:55,905 --> 00:00:57,321
This isn't
a very good connection,
19
00:00:57,323 --> 00:01:00,457
but it sounded like someone
just released a kraken.
20
00:01:01,242 --> 00:01:05,462
Okay, I'm hanging up now.
21
00:01:05,464 --> 00:01:07,164
You know there's
no such thing as a...
22
00:01:07,166 --> 00:01:09,917
(rumbling growl)
23
00:01:09,919 --> 00:01:12,720
No...!
24
00:01:12,722 --> 00:01:15,506
Penny... Penny...
25
00:01:15,508 --> 00:01:17,257
(voice cracking):
Penny...!
26
00:01:17,259 --> 00:01:19,676
What's the matter?
27
00:01:19,678 --> 00:01:22,712
Um... well, I was worried
28
00:01:22,714 --> 00:01:25,215
that you might be
missing Leonard.
29
00:01:26,267 --> 00:01:28,986
And that might be causing
you to have bad dreams,
30
00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:32,239
like the kind you'd get if you
watched Clash of the Titans
31
00:01:32,241 --> 00:01:34,491
right before you went to bed.
32
00:01:35,243 --> 00:01:38,162
Sweetie, did you have
a bad dream?
33
00:01:39,030 --> 00:01:40,614
To be honest, I did.
34
00:01:40,616 --> 00:01:41,565
Aw.
35
00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:42,699
Back to the Future II was
36
00:01:42,701 --> 00:01:45,919
in the Back to the
Future III case.
37
00:01:45,921 --> 00:01:48,038
Leonard did it.
38
00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,006
Good night.
39
00:01:49,008 --> 00:01:50,491
(stammering): No, wait.
40
00:01:50,493 --> 00:01:53,293
Perhaps I should sleep here
41
00:01:53,295 --> 00:01:56,113
so you don't miss
Leonard as much,
42
00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:59,349
uh, 'cause you're being
kind of a baby about it.
43
00:02:03,805 --> 00:02:06,306
You know what?
That would make me feel better.
44
00:02:06,308 --> 00:02:08,192
Thank you.
You're welcome.
45
00:02:12,163 --> 00:02:14,314
Good night.
46
00:02:15,934 --> 00:02:19,570
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
47
00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:22,907
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
48
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:24,542
♪ The Earth began to cool
49
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:27,078
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
50
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,730
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
51
00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:32,416
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
52
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,302
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
53
00:02:34,304 --> 00:02:35,542
♪ Bang! ♪
54
00:02:35,543 --> 00:02:39,543
♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x01 ♪
The Hofstadter Insufficiency
Original Air Date on September 26, 2013
55
00:02:39,544 --> 00:02:44,544
== sync, corrected by EryCihuii ==
from elderman, LOL
56
00:02:45,003 --> 00:02:46,587
I think you'd be
pleased to hear
57
00:02:46,589 --> 00:02:48,305
that this morning in
the parking garage,
58
00:02:48,307 --> 00:02:50,123
I saw this oil
stain on the ground
59
00:02:50,125 --> 00:02:53,327
that was shaped just like
my ex-girlfriend, Lucy,
60
00:02:53,329 --> 00:02:55,412
and I didn't get upset at all.
61
00:02:55,414 --> 00:02:57,064
I'm proud of you.
62
00:02:57,066 --> 00:03:00,851
Well, you should be,
'cause she was looking good.
63
00:03:00,853 --> 00:03:04,188
Dear Lord!
You're an astronomer.
64
00:03:04,190 --> 00:03:06,073
Although you may
have earthly woes,
65
00:03:06,075 --> 00:03:08,392
get your mind back
on the stars.
66
00:03:08,394 --> 00:03:09,643
Gee, even the lowly
dung beetle
67
00:03:09,645 --> 00:03:13,013
chooses to plot its course
by using the Milky Way.
68
00:03:13,015 --> 00:03:14,181
Is that true?
69
00:03:14,183 --> 00:03:16,984
Everything I say is true.
70
00:03:16,986 --> 00:03:17,952
Now, of course,
71
00:03:17,954 --> 00:03:19,320
the dung beetle also enjoys
72
00:03:19,322 --> 00:03:21,338
eating feces, living in feces
73
00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:23,657
and making little
balls out of feces.
74
00:03:23,659 --> 00:03:27,378
So pick and choose which
aspects of its lifestyle
75
00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:29,346
you want to embrace.
76
00:03:30,164 --> 00:03:31,849
Come on,
you can talk to girls now.
77
00:03:31,851 --> 00:03:34,001
It shouldn't be hard for you
to meet someone new.
78
00:03:34,003 --> 00:03:35,185
How can I meet someone new
79
00:03:35,187 --> 00:03:37,905
when everywhere I look,
I see Lucy's face?
80
00:03:37,907 --> 00:03:39,640
Tell me you don't see her smile
81
00:03:39,642 --> 00:03:43,010
in the crust
of this chicken pot pie.
82
00:03:43,012 --> 00:03:44,862
Oh, will you stop it!
83
00:03:49,183 --> 00:03:50,434
Now, listen to me.
84
00:03:50,436 --> 00:03:51,568
There's a welcome party
85
00:03:51,570 --> 00:03:52,770
for incoming post-docs tonight.
86
00:03:52,772 --> 00:03:54,371
Go to it and meet someone
87
00:03:54,373 --> 00:03:57,624
who isn't made of grease or pie.
88
00:03:57,626 --> 00:04:00,961
You think you're so cool
because your wife is a person?
89
00:04:03,365 --> 00:04:05,132
(sighs)
Look,
90
00:04:05,134 --> 00:04:07,034
Bernie's at a neuroscience
conference with Amy--
91
00:04:07,036 --> 00:04:08,419
I'll go with you.
92
00:04:08,421 --> 00:04:09,570
You would do that for me?
Of course.
93
00:04:09,572 --> 00:04:10,804
You're my friend.
94
00:04:10,806 --> 00:04:12,172
I want you to be happy.
95
00:04:12,174 --> 00:04:14,058
Thanks. Oh, Sheldon,
96
00:04:14,060 --> 00:04:15,592
since Amy's out of town,
would you like to join us?
97
00:04:15,594 --> 00:04:18,295
I want you to be happy, too,
98
00:04:18,297 --> 00:04:21,598
but not enough
to do anything about it.
99
00:04:24,302 --> 00:04:26,053
Howie, stop.
100
00:04:26,055 --> 00:04:27,154
I can't talk like that.
101
00:04:27,156 --> 00:04:29,857
Amy's right here.
102
00:04:29,859 --> 00:04:32,026
Sheldon, stop.
For the last time,
103
00:04:32,028 --> 00:04:35,245
I will not bring home bed bugs.
104
00:04:35,247 --> 00:04:36,396
The hotel's nice.
105
00:04:36,398 --> 00:04:38,115
There's a pool, a gym--
106
00:04:38,117 --> 00:04:39,733
the bar looks like fun.
107
00:04:39,735 --> 00:04:43,620
Because I looked in the bed,
and there are no bugs.
108
00:04:43,622 --> 00:04:44,922
Aw, I love you, too.
109
00:04:44,924 --> 00:04:47,240
If I don't talk to you
before you go to sleep,
110
00:04:47,242 --> 00:04:49,209
I'll meet you in dreamland.
111
00:04:49,211 --> 00:04:50,461
AMY:
Good night.
112
00:04:50,463 --> 00:04:53,764
No, I will not consider sleeping
in my garment bag.
113
00:04:57,118 --> 00:05:00,888
Penny, did you ever wonder
how Starfleet captains...
114
00:05:00,890 --> 00:05:03,073
No.
115
00:05:04,893 --> 00:05:07,111
Well, now that I've piqued
your interest,
116
00:05:07,113 --> 00:05:10,064
welcome to the exciting world
of 3D chess.
117
00:05:10,066 --> 00:05:11,982
Why don't you just admit
118
00:05:11,984 --> 00:05:13,200
you only want to play this game
119
00:05:13,202 --> 00:05:14,618
because you always
play it with Leonard
120
00:05:14,620 --> 00:05:15,736
and you miss him?
121
00:05:16,138 --> 00:05:19,289
You overestimate
his significance in my life.
122
00:05:19,291 --> 00:05:20,541
Oh...
123
00:05:20,543 --> 00:05:22,659
Do I miss
how he makes a face
124
00:05:22,661 --> 00:05:24,945
on my toaster waffle
with syrup?
125
00:05:25,147 --> 00:05:26,530
No.
126
00:05:26,832 --> 00:05:28,832
Do I miss the way
127
00:05:28,834 --> 00:05:31,752
he fixes the zipper on my jacket
when it gets stuck?
128
00:05:31,754 --> 00:05:33,837
(chuckles)
I don't think so.
129
00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:35,889
Do I miss how
we say "good night"
130
00:05:35,891 --> 00:05:38,342
to each other through the walls
of our bedroom
131
00:05:38,344 --> 00:05:39,710
using Morse code?
132
00:05:39,712 --> 00:05:41,895
(knocking in Morse code)
133
00:05:44,566 --> 00:05:45,983
Okay, I get it, I get it.
134
00:05:45,985 --> 00:05:47,851
You are an emotionless robot.
135
00:05:47,853 --> 00:05:50,254
Well, I try.
136
00:05:50,256 --> 00:05:52,890
All right, let's just get
this stupid game over with.
137
00:05:52,892 --> 00:05:54,124
Great. I'll go first.
Okay.
138
00:05:54,126 --> 00:05:56,276
By the way,
how are you with zippers?
139
00:05:56,277 --> 00:05:56,965
Why?
140
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,580
Well, I really need
to go to the bathroom,
141
00:05:58,581 --> 00:06:01,331
and this one's gone
all cattywampus.
142
00:06:03,952 --> 00:06:07,004
Wow, your work on
jellyfish neural nets
143
00:06:07,006 --> 00:06:08,355
sounds so interesting.
144
00:06:08,357 --> 00:06:09,540
It is.
145
00:06:09,542 --> 00:06:12,342
You can download my paper
off the university server.
146
00:06:12,344 --> 00:06:14,511
I will. You can
download my paper
147
00:06:14,513 --> 00:06:17,381
on the Van Allen Belts from the
university server as well.
148
00:06:17,383 --> 00:06:19,133
I will.
149
00:06:20,935 --> 00:06:22,302
All right.
150
00:06:29,894 --> 00:06:31,528
(clicks tongue)
151
00:06:36,768 --> 00:06:38,035
How'd it go?
152
00:06:38,037 --> 00:06:40,187
Well, if you like dry,
factual statements
153
00:06:40,189 --> 00:06:42,289
interspersed with painful
moments of silence,
154
00:06:42,291 --> 00:06:44,208
it was bananas.
155
00:06:45,426 --> 00:06:46,477
Check it out.
156
00:06:46,479 --> 00:06:48,545
Mrs. Davis from Human
Resources is here.
157
00:06:48,547 --> 00:06:51,198
She's probably on the lookout
for sexual harassment.
158
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,449
Oh, great.
159
00:06:52,451 --> 00:06:55,368
There go my chances
of being sexually harassed.
160
00:06:55,370 --> 00:07:00,140
I heard her husband left her
for a hot, young undergrad.
161
00:07:00,142 --> 00:07:02,926
That's so much better
than the old, ugly ones.
162
00:07:07,665 --> 00:07:09,099
Mr. Wolowitz,
163
00:07:09,101 --> 00:07:10,150
Dr. Koothrappali.
164
00:07:10,152 --> 00:07:11,568
Mrs. Davis,
nice to see you.
165
00:07:11,570 --> 00:07:15,222
You know, I recently read
a fascinating article
166
00:07:15,224 --> 00:07:17,925
on infidelity among penguins.
167
00:07:17,927 --> 00:07:20,527
Okay.
168
00:07:20,529 --> 00:07:23,163
So if the fact
that your husband left you
169
00:07:23,165 --> 00:07:25,065
makes you feel unattractive,
just remember,
170
00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:28,101
penguins get cheated on,
and they're adorable.
171
00:07:37,061 --> 00:07:38,245
(clicks tongue)
172
00:07:40,965 --> 00:07:43,684
It was better when you
couldn't talk to women.
173
00:07:46,153 --> 00:07:48,021
I was thinking of going
to the lecture
174
00:07:48,023 --> 00:07:49,923
on posterior cingulate
cortex lesions
175
00:07:49,925 --> 00:07:52,192
in the formation
of autobiographical memory.
176
00:07:52,194 --> 00:07:54,144
Oh, brain lesions
are fascinating.
177
00:07:54,146 --> 00:07:57,231
Unless they're yours,
then they're a drag.
178
00:07:57,633 --> 00:07:59,766
To the advancement of science.
179
00:07:59,768 --> 00:08:02,869
And to the sick and dying
who make it possible.
180
00:08:04,989 --> 00:08:07,124
This is fun; we never
really get to talk shop
181
00:08:07,126 --> 00:08:08,158
with Penny around.
182
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,910
We usually just end up
talking about boys.
183
00:08:09,912 --> 00:08:12,212
Which is fine,
but it's nice to mix it up
184
00:08:12,214 --> 00:08:14,114
with a little intellectual
conversation.
185
00:08:14,116 --> 00:08:16,733
From the two gentlemen
at the bar.
186
00:08:16,735 --> 00:08:18,335
Oh, my gosh, boys
bought us drinks!
187
00:08:18,337 --> 00:08:21,004
Boys bought us drinks!
(gibbering happily)
188
00:08:21,006 --> 00:08:22,873
Thank you, thank you,
thank you so much.
189
00:08:24,259 --> 00:08:25,976
Be cool.
You be cool!
190
00:08:25,978 --> 00:08:29,062
Guys are hitting on us, and
not just to get to Penny.
191
00:08:30,048 --> 00:08:31,515
You're right.
192
00:08:31,817 --> 00:08:33,267
Thank you.
193
00:08:37,855 --> 00:08:40,057
Ooh! Bad move.
194
00:08:40,759 --> 00:08:42,225
Really? Why?
195
00:08:42,227 --> 00:08:45,445
My queen can now take your rook
from below.
196
00:08:45,447 --> 00:08:47,531
So that means I lose, right?
197
00:08:47,533 --> 00:08:49,166
It's over!
198
00:08:49,668 --> 00:08:52,569
If I make this move...
199
00:08:52,571 --> 00:08:56,089
but I won't because we're having
too much fun.
200
00:08:57,391 --> 00:08:59,760
Okay, let's take a break.
201
00:08:59,762 --> 00:09:02,679
We're all out of alcohol.
202
00:09:02,681 --> 00:09:04,314
I wasn't going to get alcohol.
203
00:09:04,316 --> 00:09:06,850
(groans)
204
00:09:09,020 --> 00:09:10,804
(sighs)
205
00:09:10,806 --> 00:09:12,556
Gosh, I wonder what
Leonard's doing right now.
206
00:09:12,558 --> 00:09:14,858
I miss him so much.
207
00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:16,509
Well, if you'd like,
208
00:09:16,511 --> 00:09:17,894
we could call him.
209
00:09:17,896 --> 00:09:20,097
I-I mean that
you could call him.
210
00:09:20,099 --> 00:09:21,398
As I've explained,
211
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,533
the absence of my friends
does not cause me pain.
212
00:09:23,535 --> 00:09:25,786
As rock and roll bad boy,
Paul Simon, once said,
213
00:09:25,788 --> 00:09:26,870
"I am a rock.
214
00:09:26,872 --> 00:09:29,122
I am an i-i-i-island."
215
00:09:30,691 --> 00:09:32,092
I'm calling him.
216
00:09:32,094 --> 00:09:33,960
Oh, goodie!
Put him on speakerphone!
217
00:09:35,380 --> 00:09:38,882
(dance music playing)
218
00:09:40,752 --> 00:09:42,386
(phone vibrating)
219
00:09:42,388 --> 00:09:43,720
Excuse me, ladies,
220
00:09:43,722 --> 00:09:45,339
but my pants are buzzing.
221
00:09:45,341 --> 00:09:46,973
(vibrating continues)
222
00:09:47,725 --> 00:09:50,210
North Sea, how can I "kelp" you?
223
00:09:52,296 --> 00:09:53,263
Leonard?
224
00:09:53,265 --> 00:09:54,398
Penny?
225
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,515
Hey, it's Penny.
226
00:09:55,517 --> 00:09:56,716
Everybody say hi to Penny.
227
00:09:56,718 --> 00:09:58,402
ALL:
Hi, Penny!
228
00:09:58,404 --> 00:10:02,122
Wow, it sounds like
you're having a good time.
229
00:10:02,124 --> 00:10:05,008
Best time of my life!
230
00:10:06,611 --> 00:10:09,763
Isn't it 5:30
in the morning there?
231
00:10:09,765 --> 00:10:10,897
Is it?
232
00:10:10,899 --> 00:10:13,617
Hey, everybody,
it's 5:30 in the morning!
233
00:10:13,619 --> 00:10:15,652
(whooping)
234
00:10:15,654 --> 00:10:17,170
Uh...
235
00:10:17,172 --> 00:10:19,056
okay, well,
we were just calling you
236
00:10:19,058 --> 00:10:20,573
because we were missing you.
237
00:10:20,575 --> 00:10:21,792
Iceberg!
238
00:10:21,794 --> 00:10:22,876
Uh-oh, hang on.
239
00:10:22,878 --> 00:10:24,511
Are you in danger?
240
00:10:24,513 --> 00:10:26,046
No, it's a drinking game.
241
00:10:26,048 --> 00:10:28,081
Whenever we see an iceberg,
we take a shot!
242
00:10:28,083 --> 00:10:30,133
ALL:
Berg! Berg!
243
00:10:30,135 --> 00:10:32,552
Berg! Berg! Berg! Berg--
(phone cuts off)
244
00:10:33,271 --> 00:10:34,554
Leonard, Leonard?
245
00:10:34,556 --> 00:10:36,773
(scoffs)
246
00:10:37,692 --> 00:10:40,394
I cannot believe we were
missing that jerk.
247
00:10:40,396 --> 00:10:42,813
You were.
248
00:10:51,903 --> 00:10:53,787
So what happened?
How'd it go?
249
00:10:53,789 --> 00:10:56,189
It's fine. I thanked them again
and let them know
250
00:10:56,191 --> 00:10:57,123
we're not available.
251
00:10:57,125 --> 00:10:59,275
So I can drink this
without having
252
00:10:59,277 --> 00:11:01,211
to give up the goodies?
253
00:11:01,213 --> 00:11:02,328
Yes, it's all cool.
254
00:11:02,330 --> 00:11:05,231
Although, if you wanted
to talk to one of them,
255
00:11:05,233 --> 00:11:06,549
no one would blame you.
256
00:11:06,551 --> 00:11:09,335
And why would no one
blame me?
257
00:11:10,171 --> 00:11:13,623
I don't know
what I'm saying.
258
00:11:13,625 --> 00:11:16,142
Well, it sounds
like you're saying
259
00:11:16,144 --> 00:11:17,894
that I could do better
than Sheldon.
260
00:11:17,896 --> 00:11:20,263
Boy, these drinks are strong!
261
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:25,919
Hoo, mama, I'm gonna be hugging
the toilet tonight !
262
00:11:27,238 --> 00:11:29,105
No, tell me,
I want to know
263
00:11:29,107 --> 00:11:30,690
what you meant by that.
264
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:35,195
I just meant
that you're not married
265
00:11:35,197 --> 00:11:37,113
and your boyfriend's kind of...
266
00:11:37,115 --> 00:11:39,082
Sheldon.
267
00:11:39,084 --> 00:11:42,118
And your husband
is extremely Howard.
268
00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,587
What's your point?
269
00:11:45,673 --> 00:11:47,507
Sorry.
I have no point.
270
00:11:47,509 --> 00:11:48,991
That was a stupid thing
to say.
271
00:11:48,993 --> 00:11:51,377
Can we please just go back
to having a nice time?
272
00:11:51,379 --> 00:11:54,681
We could, but unfortunately
my brain is lesion-free
273
00:11:54,683 --> 00:11:56,549
and I remember that
rotten thing
274
00:11:56,551 --> 00:11:58,802
you just said about
my sweet baboo.
275
00:11:58,804 --> 00:11:59,969
Come on. I apologize.
276
00:11:59,971 --> 00:12:01,938
Can we please
just let it go?
277
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:05,141
Sure.
Thanks.
278
00:12:06,944 --> 00:12:09,846
Your husband's weird
and his clothes are ridiculous.
279
00:12:12,283 --> 00:12:13,333
I can't believe it!
280
00:12:13,335 --> 00:12:14,767
All this time
I've been doing nothing
281
00:12:14,769 --> 00:12:16,336
but sit around
and miss that guy.
282
00:12:16,338 --> 00:12:17,987
And you know what
the worst part is?
283
00:12:17,989 --> 00:12:19,522
That you're having to process
284
00:12:19,524 --> 00:12:21,624
your emotional pain
without vodka?
285
00:12:26,547 --> 00:12:28,548
No.
286
00:12:28,550 --> 00:12:30,633
Yes.
287
00:12:32,536 --> 00:12:34,537
But you know what
the second-worst part is?
288
00:12:34,539 --> 00:12:36,089
He does not miss me at all.
289
00:12:36,091 --> 00:12:38,992
Allow me to comfort you.
290
00:12:38,994 --> 00:12:42,162
At least you've got your health.
291
00:12:44,165 --> 00:12:46,783
Really? Tha-That's it?
That's comforting?
292
00:12:46,785 --> 00:12:50,854
Um, uh, in a hundred years,
293
00:12:50,856 --> 00:12:53,840
you'll both be dead
and it won't matter?
294
00:12:53,842 --> 00:12:55,992
No! Come on!
295
00:12:55,994 --> 00:12:58,778
You're supposed to say,
"Of course he misses you.
296
00:12:58,780 --> 00:13:01,731
The only reason he's partying is
to cover up his pain."
297
00:13:01,733 --> 00:13:04,384
Oh, no, I don't think
that's true at all.
298
00:13:06,904 --> 00:13:08,288
This is ridiculous.
299
00:13:08,290 --> 00:13:10,790
Why am I upset just because
he's off having a good time?
300
00:13:10,792 --> 00:13:15,011
Well... perhaps you're
obsessively picturing him
301
00:13:15,013 --> 00:13:19,349
engaged in drunken coitus
with another woman.
302
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:25,371
Is that it?
Did I get it right?
303
00:13:26,891 --> 00:13:27,974
Okay, tha-that's great.
304
00:13:27,976 --> 00:13:30,260
You can stop trying to make me
feel better now.
305
00:13:30,262 --> 00:13:33,029
Actually, I can't.
Before Leonard left,
306
00:13:33,031 --> 00:13:35,515
he made me promise
that I'd take care of you.
307
00:13:35,517 --> 00:13:37,901
He did?
Yes.
308
00:13:37,903 --> 00:13:39,987
Oh, that's really sweet.
309
00:13:39,989 --> 00:13:41,372
Plus, if I do a good job,
310
00:13:41,374 --> 00:13:44,225
he said he'd bring me back
a sailor's cap.
311
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,845
Now I miss him even more.
312
00:13:48,947 --> 00:13:53,533
Well, if it's any consolation,
I'm sure Leonard's tormented
313
00:13:53,535 --> 00:13:58,788
every moment he's away from your
warm embrace and cherry lips.
314
00:14:00,357 --> 00:14:01,324
Thanks.
315
00:14:01,426 --> 00:14:03,293
Oh, seriously?
316
00:14:05,996 --> 00:14:08,431
Uh, excuse me, Mrs. Davis?
317
00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:09,732
What?
318
00:14:09,734 --> 00:14:12,769
I'd like to apologize
for being insensitive.
319
00:14:12,771 --> 00:14:16,489
And for possibly making penguins
seem like jerks,
320
00:14:16,491 --> 00:14:19,993
'cause 99% of them
are stand-up guys.
321
00:14:19,995 --> 00:14:22,028
Forget about it.
322
00:14:23,414 --> 00:14:26,549
You know, you-you and I,
you and I have a lot in common.
323
00:14:26,551 --> 00:14:27,967
Is that right?
324
00:14:27,969 --> 00:14:29,669
Oh, yes, I-I, too,
325
00:14:29,671 --> 00:14:32,288
am in the throes of heartbreak.
326
00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:33,890
Okay, fine,
I'll tell you about it.
327
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:40,780
Here is a hot beverage
to comfort you.
328
00:14:41,182 --> 00:14:42,782
It's in a to-go cup.
329
00:14:42,784 --> 00:14:44,634
Make of that
what you will.
330
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,555
Come on. It's still early.
331
00:14:49,557 --> 00:14:50,940
Let's do something.
332
00:14:50,942 --> 00:14:56,529
Well, I have been toying around
with an idea for 4-D chess.
333
00:14:56,531 --> 00:14:58,247
How about we just talk?
334
00:14:58,249 --> 00:14:59,299
All right.
335
00:14:59,301 --> 00:15:01,567
In 4-D chess...
No.
336
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:05,271
Come on, let's talk
about our lives.
337
00:15:05,273 --> 00:15:07,156
Tell me something
about you I don't know.
338
00:15:07,158 --> 00:15:08,574
Hmm.
339
00:15:10,627 --> 00:15:14,030
I own nine pairs of pants.
340
00:15:15,866 --> 00:15:17,867
Okay, that-that's a good start,
341
00:15:17,869 --> 00:15:19,218
but I was thinking
maybe something
342
00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:20,269
a little more personal.
343
00:15:20,271 --> 00:15:22,638
I see.
Hmm.
344
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:27,043
I own nine pairs
of underpants.
345
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:31,114
How about I go first?
346
00:15:31,116 --> 00:15:34,267
But I don't want to know
how many underpants you own.
347
00:15:34,269 --> 00:15:36,352
Although, based on the floor
of your bedroom,
348
00:15:36,354 --> 00:15:38,104
I'd say it's a thousand.
349
00:15:38,106 --> 00:15:42,608
Okay, look, here's something
people do not know about me.
350
00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:44,444
When I first moved out
to L.A.,
351
00:15:44,446 --> 00:15:46,896
I did a topless scene
in a low-budget horror movie
352
00:15:46,898 --> 00:15:48,498
about a killer gorilla.
353
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,767
Ugh! After I did it,
I felt so ashamed.
354
00:15:50,769 --> 00:15:53,637
Thankfully, that thing
never came out.
355
00:15:53,939 --> 00:15:56,105
I've seen that.
356
00:15:57,358 --> 00:15:59,459
Yeah. Serial Apeist.
357
00:15:59,461 --> 00:16:00,660
(gasps)
358
00:16:02,096 --> 00:16:05,014
Howard found it online
the day we met you.
359
00:16:05,016 --> 00:16:06,516
Oh, God...
360
00:16:06,518 --> 00:16:07,583
And it was literally
361
00:16:07,585 --> 00:16:09,318
the moment you walked
out the door.
362
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,254
(sighs)
363
00:16:11,256 --> 00:16:15,858
But I see the type of personal
revelations you're going for.
364
00:16:15,860 --> 00:16:19,562
Okay, here's one I thought
I'd take to the grave.
365
00:16:19,564 --> 00:16:20,847
Okay.
366
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:23,149
Hmm.
367
00:16:23,151 --> 00:16:24,534
A while back,
368
00:16:24,536 --> 00:16:27,737
YouTube changed
its user interface
369
00:16:27,739 --> 00:16:32,425
from a star-based rating system
to a thumbs-up rating system.
370
00:16:32,427 --> 00:16:37,447
I tell people I'm okay with it,
but I'm really not.
371
00:16:42,319 --> 00:16:43,970
That's your big revelation?
372
00:16:43,972 --> 00:16:46,706
Yes.
373
00:16:46,708 --> 00:16:49,292
Whew! I feel ten pounds lighter.
374
00:16:49,294 --> 00:16:51,010
Okay, you know what?
375
00:16:51,012 --> 00:16:52,028
I give up.
376
00:16:52,030 --> 00:16:54,046
I'm going to bed.
377
00:16:55,132 --> 00:16:57,266
Here's something else
you don't know about me:
378
00:16:57,268 --> 00:16:59,419
you just hurt my feelings.
379
00:16:59,421 --> 00:17:00,620
What did I do?
380
00:17:00,622 --> 00:17:02,188
I opened up and shared something
381
00:17:02,190 --> 00:17:03,906
deeply upsetting to me,
382
00:17:03,908 --> 00:17:06,075
and you treated it
as if it were nothing.
383
00:17:06,077 --> 00:17:08,945
I-I didn't think
it was a big deal.
384
00:17:08,947 --> 00:17:11,781
It is to me; that's the point.
385
00:17:14,335 --> 00:17:16,019
Sheldon, you are right.
386
00:17:16,021 --> 00:17:18,603
I'm really sorry.
I should've known better.
387
00:17:19,073 --> 00:17:20,907
Your apology is accepted.
388
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:22,992
Thank you.
389
00:17:22,994 --> 00:17:24,293
How about a hug?
390
00:17:24,295 --> 00:17:25,778
How about a hearty handshake?
391
00:17:25,780 --> 00:17:27,680
Come on.
392
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:32,652
Now I know how you felt
getting mauled
393
00:17:32,654 --> 00:17:35,888
by that sex-crazed
gorilla.
394
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:52,405
Good night.
395
00:17:52,407 --> 00:17:54,190
(curt):
Mm-hmm.
396
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:03,649
It was rather flattering to have
strangers send us drinks.
397
00:18:03,651 --> 00:18:06,152
Yeah, that felt nice.
398
00:18:07,688 --> 00:18:10,756
Maybe tomorrow morning
we put on some hot pants
399
00:18:10,758 --> 00:18:13,960
and see if we can score us
some free omelets.
400
00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:20,016
So, hypothetically, if-if we
were to have gone with them,
401
00:18:20,018 --> 00:18:21,968
which one would you have picked?
402
00:18:24,238 --> 00:18:25,588
I think I would
403
00:18:25,590 --> 00:18:28,324
have gone with the short one
with the goofy haircut.
404
00:18:28,326 --> 00:18:30,392
Oh, good, 'cause I liked
the tall thin one.
405
00:18:30,394 --> 00:18:32,578
He seemed intelligent,
kind of a loner,
406
00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:35,064
maybe a little sexually
inexperienced,
407
00:18:35,066 --> 00:18:37,950
like I'd have to teach
him a thing or two.
408
00:18:37,952 --> 00:18:39,819
(growls)
409
00:18:39,821 --> 00:18:41,371
Not my guy.
410
00:18:41,373 --> 00:18:43,323
I caught him staring
at my rack.
411
00:18:44,225 --> 00:18:45,675
It'd be nice to be with a man
412
00:18:45,677 --> 00:18:48,445
who wants to know
what's underneath my cardigan.
413
00:18:49,347 --> 00:18:51,848
FYI, it's another cardigan.
414
00:18:54,484 --> 00:18:57,820
Your short sexed-up guy
kind of sounds like Howard.
415
00:18:57,822 --> 00:19:01,090
Your brainy virgin kind
of sounds like Sheldon.
416
00:19:01,858 --> 00:19:03,693
Good night.
Night.
417
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:09,365
All right, Dr. Koothrappali,
it's been nice talking to you,
418
00:19:09,367 --> 00:19:10,733
but I need to go home
419
00:19:10,735 --> 00:19:11,867
and relieve my babysitter.
420
00:19:11,869 --> 00:19:14,120
Yeah, I can relate
to being a single parent.
421
00:19:14,122 --> 00:19:16,072
I have a dog.
422
00:19:16,074 --> 00:19:18,908
Yeah, it's exactly
the same thing.
423
00:19:18,910 --> 00:19:20,209
Good night.
424
00:19:20,211 --> 00:19:21,877
Mrs. Davis...
425
00:19:21,879 --> 00:19:24,714
I, uh, I must confess,
426
00:19:24,716 --> 00:19:26,132
I came here tonight
427
00:19:26,134 --> 00:19:28,868
in a futile attempt
to pick up some lonely postdoc,
428
00:19:28,870 --> 00:19:33,105
but instead I got to connect
with you at a human level.
429
00:19:33,107 --> 00:19:35,875
That's a much better evening.
430
00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:38,678
You're a lovely person.
431
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,429
Are you hitting on me?
432
00:19:40,431 --> 00:19:42,181
No, no, no, that would be crazy!
433
00:19:42,183 --> 00:19:43,653
I mean, if I were hitting
on you, you'd know it
434
00:19:43,654 --> 00:19:46,455
'cause you'd feel uncomfortable
and a little sad for me.
435
00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:52,608
You're sweet.
436
00:19:53,644 --> 00:19:55,561
Good night, Dr. Koothrappali.
437
00:19:55,563 --> 00:19:57,663
Good night.
438
00:19:59,166 --> 00:20:01,384
Looks like she accepted
your apology.
439
00:20:01,386 --> 00:20:03,085
And then some.
440
00:20:03,087 --> 00:20:05,171
I think we had a moment.
441
00:20:05,173 --> 00:20:07,840
Oh, please, you did not
have a moment.
442
00:20:07,842 --> 00:20:10,042
Who died and
made you king of moments?
443
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,964
Okay, fine. Let's say
there was a moment.
444
00:20:14,966 --> 00:20:16,832
There was.
There wasn't.
445
00:20:16,834 --> 00:20:20,936
But... But even if there was,
what are you gonna do about it?
446
00:20:20,938 --> 00:20:26,859
I will slowly seduce her until
she falls helpless into my bed,
447
00:20:26,861 --> 00:20:28,861
hungry for the pleasure
only I can give her.
448
00:20:28,863 --> 00:20:30,730
So nothing.
No, not a thing.
449
00:20:38,758 --> 00:20:41,209
Ah...
450
00:20:41,211 --> 00:20:43,712
I'm so glad the police
finally caught
451
00:20:43,714 --> 00:20:47,349
that psychotic
genetically engineered ape.
452
00:20:52,605 --> 00:20:54,823
That is my girlfriend!
I swear to God!
453
00:20:54,825 --> 00:20:56,358
(all cheer)
454
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:59,894
ALL: Leonard! Leonard!
Leonard! Leonard!
455
00:21:00,413 --> 00:21:01,730
(gasps, screams)
456
00:21:01,732 --> 00:21:06,732
== sync, corrected by erycihuii ==
from elderman, LOL
457
00:21:37,264 --> 00:21:40,133
And here's another
interesting weather fact.
458
00:21:40,135 --> 00:21:42,802
Another? Great!
459
00:21:42,804 --> 00:21:46,172
Changes in jet streams
can affect the speed
460
00:21:46,174 --> 00:21:48,474
at which the Earth
rotates on its axis,
461
00:21:48,476 --> 00:21:51,844
so bad weather can actually
make the day longer.
462
00:21:51,846 --> 00:21:54,714
Well, there must be a hell
of a storm somewhere.
463
00:21:56,550 --> 00:21:58,618
Joke if you must,
464
00:21:58,620 --> 00:22:00,720
but you're going to
miss these moments.
465
00:22:00,722 --> 00:22:02,488
With Leonard home
in a few days,
466
00:22:02,490 --> 00:22:05,691
this was your last time driving
me to the grocery store.
467
00:22:05,693 --> 00:22:07,660
You know,
I will miss this.
468
00:22:07,662 --> 00:22:10,797
I'll tell you what,
if my apples are mealy,
469
00:22:10,799 --> 00:22:15,134
we'll hit the produce section
for one last crazy blowout.
470
00:22:15,136 --> 00:22:17,336
Heck, you can even
push the cart.
471
00:22:17,338 --> 00:22:21,674
Please don't take my looking
forward to Leonard's return
472
00:22:21,676 --> 00:22:25,011
as criticism of the job you've
been doing in his absence.
473
00:22:25,013 --> 00:22:26,479
I won't.
474
00:22:27,548 --> 00:22:31,184
That criticism will come later
in your report card.
475
00:22:31,186 --> 00:22:33,319
Yeah, I didn't stay
for the detention,
476
00:22:33,321 --> 00:22:35,388
I'm not gonna read
the report card.
477
00:22:38,792 --> 00:22:39,759
Hello.
478
00:22:39,761 --> 00:22:40,893
Leonard!
479
00:22:40,895 --> 00:22:42,228
Shh, shh.
Hi!
480
00:22:42,230 --> 00:22:43,629
Keep your voice down.
Oh, my God.
481
00:22:43,631 --> 00:22:44,931
You weren't supposed
to be here till Sunday!
482
00:22:44,933 --> 00:22:46,165
We finished
the experiment early,
483
00:22:46,167 --> 00:22:47,867
so I thought I'd come home
and surprise you.
484
00:22:47,869 --> 00:22:49,368
Oh, my gosh, why
are we whispering?
485
00:22:49,370 --> 00:22:50,269
I didn't tell Sheldon,
486
00:22:50,271 --> 00:22:51,971
so we could have
a few days alone.
487
00:22:51,973 --> 00:22:53,906
Oh, that is
so romantic.
488
00:22:53,908 --> 00:22:56,142
Uh, sure,
that's why I did it.
489
00:22:57,111 --> 00:23:00,646
Oh... I just cannot
believe you're here.
490
00:23:00,648 --> 00:23:02,081
Penny, it's
your lucky day!
491
00:23:02,083 --> 00:23:04,117
Three of the eggs are
clearly not jumbo.
492
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:05,485
Grab your keys.
493
00:23:07,354 --> 00:23:10,990
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
494
00:23:10,992 --> 00:23:14,327
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
495
00:23:14,329 --> 00:23:15,962
♪ The Earth began to cool
496
00:23:15,964 --> 00:23:18,498
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
497
00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:21,167
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
498
00:23:21,169 --> 00:23:23,836
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
499
00:23:23,838 --> 00:23:25,738
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
500
00:23:25,740 --> 00:23:26,740
♪ Bang! ♪
501
00:23:26,741 --> 00:23:30,740
♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x02 ♪
The Deception Verification
Original Air Date on September 26, 2013
502
00:23:30,741 --> 00:23:35,741
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
503
00:23:36,196 --> 00:23:38,765
Uh, Stuart,
I was wondering
504
00:23:38,767 --> 00:23:40,566
if you could help me
find something.
505
00:23:40,568 --> 00:23:43,603
Happy to, unless it's hope
or a reason to live.
506
00:23:44,438 --> 00:23:47,840
Oh, you make me laugh,
sad clown.
507
00:23:49,310 --> 00:23:50,276
Anyhoo...
508
00:23:50,278 --> 00:23:52,779
Leonard will be back
in a couple days
509
00:23:52,781 --> 00:23:55,081
and I need a welcome-home
gift for him.
510
00:23:55,083 --> 00:23:57,617
As he's been at sea,
perhaps something
511
00:23:57,619 --> 00:24:00,219
with a nautical theme
might be appropriate.
512
00:24:00,221 --> 00:24:03,056
Okay, well, I don't know
how much you want to spend,
513
00:24:03,058 --> 00:24:06,459
but I do have this pretty
cool Aquaman statue.
514
00:24:10,264 --> 00:24:12,065
Aquaman?
515
00:24:12,067 --> 00:24:14,634
Oh, this isn't
a gag gift, Stuart.
516
00:24:15,469 --> 00:24:16,869
Yeah, just as well.
517
00:24:16,871 --> 00:24:18,504
It's a pretty
rare piece.
518
00:24:18,506 --> 00:24:20,940
I'd rather just sell it
to a real collector.
519
00:24:20,942 --> 00:24:23,476
I'm a real collector.
520
00:24:25,045 --> 00:24:26,479
How rare is it?
521
00:24:26,481 --> 00:24:27,980
Oh, I shouldn't even
have mentioned it.
522
00:24:27,982 --> 00:24:30,650
How about a Batman
squirt gun?
523
00:24:30,652 --> 00:24:32,352
Don't try and trick me
524
00:24:32,354 --> 00:24:34,487
into buying something
I don't want.
525
00:24:34,489 --> 00:24:36,622
Now let's talk Aquaman.
526
00:24:37,758 --> 00:24:40,860
What were they thinking,
putting Doctor Octopus's mind
527
00:24:40,862 --> 00:24:42,562
in Spider-Man's body?
528
00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:44,564
Well, I've been
quite enjoying that.
529
00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:46,866
It combines all the
superhero fun of Spider-Man
530
00:24:46,868 --> 00:24:50,002
with all the body-switching
shenanigans of Freaky Friday.
531
00:24:50,804 --> 00:24:53,773
Both versions:
original and Lohan.
532
00:24:53,775 --> 00:24:56,209
"Both versions: original and Lohan."
533
00:24:56,211 --> 00:24:57,343
You're an idiot.
534
00:24:57,345 --> 00:24:59,545
Hey, what's your problem?
535
00:24:59,547 --> 00:25:01,814
I'm sorry, I've been
kind of snippy lately.
536
00:25:01,816 --> 00:25:04,150
It's probably this
stupid diet I'm on.
537
00:25:04,152 --> 00:25:05,184
Why are you on a diet?
538
00:25:05,186 --> 00:25:07,320
I've put on
a couple pounds.
539
00:25:08,355 --> 00:25:10,757
Had to buy these pants
in the men's section.
540
00:25:12,993 --> 00:25:15,294
Well, we've all
seen your mom.
541
00:25:16,697 --> 00:25:17,864
That Butterball turkey
542
00:25:17,866 --> 00:25:19,999
was bound to come
home to roost.
543
00:25:21,335 --> 00:25:24,036
$1,200!
That's my final offer!
544
00:25:25,305 --> 00:25:27,273
All right, Sheldon,
you win.
545
00:25:27,275 --> 00:25:29,442
I'm sure Leonard
is gonna love this.
546
00:25:29,444 --> 00:25:32,311
Oh, right,
a present for Leonard.
547
00:25:33,313 --> 00:25:35,815
You better throw in
that squirt gun.
548
00:25:35,817 --> 00:25:37,417
Yeah, I don't know.
549
00:25:37,419 --> 00:25:40,453
This squirt gun, it's,
uh, it's pretty rare.
550
00:25:41,288 --> 00:25:43,856
Ooh.
551
00:25:44,958 --> 00:25:48,661
And this is me doing
the Titanic pose on the boat.
552
00:25:48,663 --> 00:25:50,663
Ah.
553
00:25:50,665 --> 00:25:51,864
And... oh.
554
00:25:51,866 --> 00:25:53,766
That's me getting rescued
after I fell in.
555
00:25:53,768 --> 00:25:55,268
Oh.
556
00:25:56,638 --> 00:25:57,537
Oh, that's the pizza.
557
00:25:57,539 --> 00:25:58,638
Yep.
558
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,373
Here's some money.
Thank you.
559
00:26:00,375 --> 00:26:01,641
And I'm gonna hit the head.
560
00:26:01,643 --> 00:26:03,443
That's what us
salty sea dogs say
561
00:26:03,445 --> 00:26:05,144
when we have to go pee-pee.
562
00:26:07,514 --> 00:26:09,282
Hey.
$22.50.
563
00:26:09,284 --> 00:26:11,217
Okay, here's, uh, $25.
Keep the change.
564
00:26:11,219 --> 00:26:12,418
Seriously?
565
00:26:12,420 --> 00:26:15,087
I just walked up, like,
four flights of stairs.
566
00:26:15,089 --> 00:26:16,088
Oh.
567
00:26:16,090 --> 00:26:17,623
Okay.
568
00:26:17,625 --> 00:26:19,192
Well, here's, um...
569
00:26:19,194 --> 00:26:21,327
30-something cents
570
00:26:21,329 --> 00:26:23,396
and a promise
I won't call your boss
571
00:26:23,398 --> 00:26:26,232
and tell him
you reek of marijuana.
572
00:26:27,768 --> 00:26:30,236
Oh, Penny, I see
you've ordered pizza.
573
00:26:30,238 --> 00:26:31,838
I have Chinese food.
574
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:32,872
That's nice.
575
00:26:32,874 --> 00:26:36,509
Oh, that's
a rather earthy cologne.
576
00:26:38,445 --> 00:26:41,180
My uncle used
to wear that.
577
00:26:42,182 --> 00:26:44,083
Perhaps we can enjoy
one last meal together
578
00:26:44,085 --> 00:26:45,852
before Leonard returns.
Yeah, thanks,
579
00:26:45,854 --> 00:26:47,520
but I kind of feel like
eating alone tonight, so...
580
00:26:47,522 --> 00:26:48,721
Are you sure?
581
00:26:48,723 --> 00:26:51,390
With your Italian pizza
and my Chinese noodles,
582
00:26:51,392 --> 00:26:52,925
we could play Marco Polo.
583
00:26:52,927 --> 00:26:55,928
I mean, of course, a
reenactment of a meal
584
00:26:55,930 --> 00:26:58,297
in the life of Marco Polo
the Venetian explorer,
585
00:26:58,299 --> 00:27:01,901
not Marco Polo the
terrifying water sport.
586
00:27:01,903 --> 00:27:04,871
Uh, yeah, it sounds fun,
but no thanks.
587
00:27:04,873 --> 00:27:06,305
Have a good night!
588
00:27:06,307 --> 00:27:08,174
What, now...
do you have company?
589
00:27:08,176 --> 00:27:09,909
No. No, no, no.
590
00:27:09,911 --> 00:27:11,577
You know what?
Th-The toilet's been doing that.
591
00:27:11,579 --> 00:27:13,012
I called
the building manager, so...
592
00:27:13,014 --> 00:27:15,147
Oh, I can take a look at it.
Well...
593
00:27:15,149 --> 00:27:16,415
I'm quite familiar
with plumbing.
594
00:27:16,417 --> 00:27:17,717
Not to brag,
595
00:27:17,719 --> 00:27:21,053
but I spent most of fifth grade
with my head in a toilet.
596
00:27:21,055 --> 00:27:22,555
Yeah, no, no, no.
597
00:27:22,557 --> 00:27:24,056
You know what,
Sheldon, it's okay.
598
00:27:24,058 --> 00:27:25,825
You don't have to go
into the bathroom.
599
00:27:25,827 --> 00:27:27,326
That's curious.
600
00:27:27,328 --> 00:27:28,661
If there's no one here,
601
00:27:28,663 --> 00:27:31,931
why are there two glasses
of wine on the table?
602
00:27:31,933 --> 00:27:33,432
Oh.
603
00:27:33,434 --> 00:27:35,301
Well, you know,
I-I've got two hands
604
00:27:35,303 --> 00:27:37,570
and a bit of a drinking problem.
605
00:27:37,572 --> 00:27:39,005
Of course.
606
00:27:39,007 --> 00:27:40,172
Ask a silly question.
607
00:27:40,174 --> 00:27:41,107
Oh.
608
00:27:41,975 --> 00:27:43,809
That's odd.
609
00:27:43,811 --> 00:27:44,610
Um, what?
610
00:27:44,612 --> 00:27:45,845
There are takeout containers
611
00:27:45,847 --> 00:27:47,113
in the trash can.
612
00:27:47,115 --> 00:27:49,649
So? That's my dinner
from last night.
613
00:27:49,651 --> 00:27:52,752
What's odd is
they're in the trash can.
614
00:27:52,754 --> 00:27:54,120
Okay.
615
00:27:54,122 --> 00:27:55,321
Look, honey,
I promise there's no one's here.
616
00:27:55,323 --> 00:27:56,455
I've had a long day.
617
00:27:56,457 --> 00:27:57,990
I just want to have
a quiet dinner by myself.
618
00:27:57,992 --> 00:28:00,426
Oh, very well.
619
00:28:00,428 --> 00:28:03,863
I'm no stranger to enjoying
the pleasures of solitude.
620
00:28:04,765 --> 00:28:07,233
Oh!
What?
621
00:28:07,235 --> 00:28:09,135
Have you gotten Leonard
a welcome-home gift yet?
622
00:28:09,137 --> 00:28:10,269
No.
Oh, great.
623
00:28:10,271 --> 00:28:11,737
Do you want
to go halfsies
624
00:28:11,739 --> 00:28:13,472
on a $200 squirt gun?
625
00:28:16,743 --> 00:28:17,643
Hi, honey.
626
00:28:17,645 --> 00:28:18,644
Hey.
627
00:28:18,646 --> 00:28:20,446
I made some brownies.
You want one?
628
00:28:21,315 --> 00:28:23,149
You're kidding, right?
629
00:28:24,084 --> 00:28:25,284
I mean, you know
630
00:28:25,286 --> 00:28:27,119
I'm trying to lose weight.
631
00:28:27,121 --> 00:28:30,756
God, I thought we were partners
in this marriage.
632
00:28:30,758 --> 00:28:32,391
We are. Stop it.
633
00:28:32,393 --> 00:28:34,226
And for the last time,
you're not fat.
634
00:28:34,228 --> 00:28:36,329
Really? Tell that
to the bathroom scale,
635
00:28:36,331 --> 00:28:38,664
'cause one of you is lying.
636
00:28:38,666 --> 00:28:41,000
Fine, forget I asked.
637
00:28:41,002 --> 00:28:43,169
How was dinner
at your mom's?
638
00:28:43,171 --> 00:28:44,236
Awful.
639
00:28:44,238 --> 00:28:46,706
I had to rub her ointment
all over her again.
640
00:28:46,708 --> 00:28:48,274
Why can't she do it?
641
00:28:48,276 --> 00:28:51,544
'Cause we've got a deeply
unhealthy relationship.
642
00:28:52,579 --> 00:28:54,046
Which reminds me,
643
00:28:54,048 --> 00:28:56,382
do you think you can get
any samples of this from work?
644
00:28:56,384 --> 00:28:58,017
This was supposed
to last her a month,
645
00:28:58,019 --> 00:28:59,251
but they didn't take
into account
646
00:28:59,253 --> 00:29:01,220
the square footage of her back.
647
00:29:03,056 --> 00:29:05,625
Let me see.
648
00:29:05,627 --> 00:29:07,326
How long have you been
putting this on her?
649
00:29:07,328 --> 00:29:08,494
I don't know.
650
00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:09,462
Few weeks. Why?
651
00:29:09,464 --> 00:29:12,264
This is really strong
estrogen cream.
652
00:29:12,266 --> 00:29:14,066
Please tell me
you've been wearing gloves.
653
00:29:14,068 --> 00:29:16,802
Like these swollen sausages
could fit in gloves.
654
00:29:18,505 --> 00:29:20,773
Howie, the estrogen's getting
absorbed by your skin.
655
00:29:20,775 --> 00:29:22,141
That's why you've been
656
00:29:22,143 --> 00:29:26,112
all bloated and moody
and a giant pain in the ass.
657
00:29:26,114 --> 00:29:29,482
You're full of estrogen
and you don't act like that.
658
00:29:29,484 --> 00:29:30,750
That's 'cause I'm a woman.
659
00:29:30,752 --> 00:29:34,353
I've had years of practice
riding the dragon.
660
00:29:35,722 --> 00:29:36,956
Fine.
661
00:29:36,958 --> 00:29:38,391
I'll wear gloves next time.
662
00:29:38,393 --> 00:29:39,892
It's still gonna take
a few weeks
663
00:29:39,894 --> 00:29:41,494
for the hormones
to leave your system.
664
00:29:41,496 --> 00:29:43,963
I feel so stupid.
665
00:29:43,965 --> 00:29:46,732
And fat.
666
00:29:46,734 --> 00:29:48,134
It's okay.
667
00:29:48,136 --> 00:29:50,202
You still look
great to me.
668
00:29:50,204 --> 00:29:52,271
In fact, why don't
we go in the bedroom
669
00:29:52,273 --> 00:29:54,306
and I'll prove
it to you?
670
00:29:54,308 --> 00:29:55,675
Sex? Really?
671
00:29:55,677 --> 00:29:58,077
I mean, that's just
your solution to everything!
672
00:30:00,447 --> 00:30:02,014
Oh, and here's
a fun thing.
673
00:30:02,016 --> 00:30:03,949
I worked it out
so that there are
674
00:30:03,951 --> 00:30:05,384
two different
words for spoon:
675
00:30:05,386 --> 00:30:07,987
"planko" and "janko."
676
00:30:07,989 --> 00:30:10,322
"Planko" is a spoon
with food,
677
00:30:10,324 --> 00:30:12,324
"janko" is a spoon
without food.
678
00:30:14,094 --> 00:30:16,228
"Janko" is spelled
with a silent "ptang."
679
00:30:18,298 --> 00:30:20,266
Sheldon, you're
not even listening
680
00:30:20,268 --> 00:30:22,635
to the rules of my
made-up language.
681
00:30:22,637 --> 00:30:24,036
Yes, I am.
682
00:30:24,038 --> 00:30:25,905
Then what does
"tweepadock" mean?
683
00:30:25,907 --> 00:30:27,606
Uh...
684
00:30:27,608 --> 00:30:28,974
elephant?
685
00:30:28,976 --> 00:30:31,243
Lucky guess.
686
00:30:33,847 --> 00:30:35,081
I'm sorry.
687
00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:36,749
I'm just distracted
by something
688
00:30:36,751 --> 00:30:38,250
that happened over at Penny's.
689
00:30:38,252 --> 00:30:39,385
What happened?
690
00:30:39,387 --> 00:30:42,288
I fear Penny is being
unfaithful to Leonard.
691
00:30:42,290 --> 00:30:43,355
What?
692
00:30:43,357 --> 00:30:45,291
She claimed to be alone
693
00:30:45,293 --> 00:30:48,294
when there was obviously
someone else in her apartment.
694
00:30:48,296 --> 00:30:50,796
I have no choice but
to assume the worst,
695
00:30:50,798 --> 00:30:53,232
given Leonard's
lengthy sea voyage
696
00:30:53,234 --> 00:30:56,602
and her famously
ravenous nether regions.
697
00:30:57,604 --> 00:30:59,605
I don't think Penny
would cheat on Leonard.
698
00:30:59,607 --> 00:31:00,840
Oh, really?
699
00:31:03,643 --> 00:31:06,445
She and I once had
a staring contest.
700
00:31:06,447 --> 00:31:09,482
She clapped really loud
and made me blink.
701
00:31:10,684 --> 00:31:13,953
It's a small leap from
there to sexual infidelity.
702
00:31:15,856 --> 00:31:17,890
You're being ridiculous.
703
00:31:17,892 --> 00:31:20,426
Amy, there were Chinese
food containers...
704
00:31:20,428 --> 00:31:22,661
in the trash can.
705
00:31:24,498 --> 00:31:26,198
Poor Leonard.
706
00:31:31,938 --> 00:31:33,439
Do you hear anything?
707
00:31:33,441 --> 00:31:35,441
I hear a woman's voice.
708
00:31:35,443 --> 00:31:36,675
Is it Penny?
709
00:31:36,677 --> 00:31:38,344
No, it's you.
710
00:31:40,914 --> 00:31:43,516
All right,
I hear whispering and giggling.
711
00:31:43,518 --> 00:31:45,017
Now I think
I hear kissing.
712
00:31:45,019 --> 00:31:47,987
Yeah, like you know
what kissing sounds like.
713
00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:51,524
There's kissing
in Star Trek, smarty-pants.
714
00:31:51,526 --> 00:31:53,359
Let me listen.
715
00:31:55,829 --> 00:31:57,196
Sounds like Leonard.
716
00:31:57,198 --> 00:31:58,531
Please.
717
00:31:58,533 --> 00:32:00,566
Why would Leonard
come home early
718
00:32:00,568 --> 00:32:02,568
and waste his time kissing Penny
719
00:32:02,570 --> 00:32:05,771
when he could be hanging out
with his best buddy?
720
00:32:06,973 --> 00:32:08,374
Yeah, that's it.
721
00:32:08,376 --> 00:32:10,042
I'm catching
her in the act.
722
00:32:10,044 --> 00:32:12,077
No, Sheldon, don't.
723
00:32:12,079 --> 00:32:13,412
Aha!
724
00:32:13,414 --> 00:32:14,780
What the hell?!
725
00:32:14,782 --> 00:32:16,048
Leonard?
726
00:32:16,050 --> 00:32:18,017
Sheldon, you cannot just
barge in here like that!
727
00:32:18,019 --> 00:32:20,219
Right.
728
00:32:22,556 --> 00:32:23,556
Penny!
729
00:32:23,558 --> 00:32:26,125
Penny!
Penny!
730
00:32:28,995 --> 00:32:30,462
Are you going to
731
00:32:30,464 --> 00:32:33,532
answer the door or should I
open it and say "aha" again?
732
00:32:41,909 --> 00:32:43,510
I'm sorry, Sheldon.
733
00:32:43,512 --> 00:32:44,678
I should've told you I was back.
734
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:46,580
I just wanted to have
a couple days alone with Penny.
735
00:32:46,582 --> 00:32:48,415
Oh, no, I should apologize.
736
00:32:48,417 --> 00:32:50,584
Uh, I never realized
to what extent
737
00:32:50,586 --> 00:32:52,619
our friendship was
a burden to you.
738
00:32:52,621 --> 00:32:54,287
That is not fair.
739
00:32:54,289 --> 00:32:57,624
I complain about what a burden
it is at least once a month.
740
00:32:57,626 --> 00:32:59,225
Oh, no, no,
let's not sugarcoat this.
741
00:32:59,227 --> 00:33:03,196
You find me finicky,
pedantic and annoying.
742
00:33:03,198 --> 00:33:04,431
No, he doesn't.
743
00:33:04,433 --> 00:33:08,735
I actually have used
those exact words before.
744
00:33:08,737 --> 00:33:10,437
In that order.
745
00:33:11,739 --> 00:33:13,506
Well, Leonard,
I think it's high time
746
00:33:13,508 --> 00:33:17,010
you and I address
the "tweepadock" in the room.
747
00:33:17,012 --> 00:33:18,912
The what?
748
00:33:18,914 --> 00:33:20,714
Amy?
Please leave me out of this.
749
00:33:20,716 --> 00:33:22,515
Uh... fine.
750
00:33:22,517 --> 00:33:23,683
Leonard,
751
00:33:23,685 --> 00:33:24,985
there's no need for you
752
00:33:24,987 --> 00:33:26,453
to pretend to like me anymore.
753
00:33:26,455 --> 00:33:28,154
Come on, I said I was sorry.
754
00:33:28,156 --> 00:33:29,756
No, no, you save your apologies
755
00:33:29,758 --> 00:33:33,126
for after you've had
disappointing coitus with Penny.
756
00:33:35,129 --> 00:33:37,831
It was fine.
757
00:33:37,833 --> 00:33:39,499
Come on, this is silly.
758
00:33:39,501 --> 00:33:41,301
Hey, um, I brought you back
759
00:33:41,303 --> 00:33:44,638
a little present
from my trip, huh?
760
00:33:45,706 --> 00:33:47,507
It's that sailor cap
that you wanted.
761
00:33:47,509 --> 00:33:48,975
It's neat, huh?
762
00:33:50,011 --> 00:33:52,646
You honestly think you can
buy back my friendship
763
00:33:52,648 --> 00:33:54,047
with a cheap souvenir?
764
00:33:54,049 --> 00:33:55,882
I don't.
765
00:33:55,884 --> 00:33:56,950
No, I really don't.
766
00:33:56,952 --> 00:33:58,451
Just try it on.
767
00:34:01,622 --> 00:34:03,456
Oh, yeah.
768
00:34:03,458 --> 00:34:05,358
Hello, sailor.
Ooh, now we're talking.
769
00:34:07,695 --> 00:34:09,629
Excuse me.
770
00:34:18,172 --> 00:34:20,240
This changes nothing.
771
00:34:21,175 --> 00:34:22,375
Except the Halloween costume
772
00:34:22,377 --> 00:34:23,710
I'm wearing this year.
773
00:34:24,879 --> 00:34:26,646
Amy, you're going
to be Olive Oyl.
774
00:34:26,648 --> 00:34:28,214
Lay off the donuts.
775
00:34:31,919 --> 00:34:33,853
Thanks for coming over.
776
00:34:33,855 --> 00:34:34,754
No problem.
777
00:34:34,756 --> 00:34:36,556
Ooh, you made
little sandwiches!
778
00:34:36,558 --> 00:34:39,259
Yeah, that's cucumber
and cream cheese.
779
00:34:39,261 --> 00:34:40,960
That's turkey and loganberry.
780
00:34:40,962 --> 00:34:44,764
And don't tell my hips, but I'm
warming up a brie in the oven.
781
00:34:44,766 --> 00:34:46,766
Nice. So...
782
00:34:46,768 --> 00:34:48,735
Mmm. What's up?
783
00:34:48,737 --> 00:34:51,805
Okay, well, I've been reading up
on all the side effects
784
00:34:51,807 --> 00:34:53,807
you can get from estrogen,
785
00:34:53,809 --> 00:34:55,141
and...
786
00:34:55,143 --> 00:34:57,844
I need you to be honest with me.
787
00:34:57,846 --> 00:35:01,347
Do my boobs look bigger to you?
788
00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:04,150
Well, it's kind of hard to tell.
789
00:35:04,152 --> 00:35:06,119
Come on, Raj,
it's a "yes or no" question.
790
00:35:06,121 --> 00:35:07,454
I'm not sure.
791
00:35:07,456 --> 00:35:09,456
Um, wait.
792
00:35:09,458 --> 00:35:12,125
Jump up and down--
let's see if they jiggle.
793
00:35:18,432 --> 00:35:20,333
Uh, no, I...
794
00:35:20,335 --> 00:35:22,068
I still can't tell, uh...
795
00:35:22,070 --> 00:35:24,971
Oh, you know what?
Okay, uh, give me some of this.
796
00:35:28,042 --> 00:35:29,209
Seriously?
797
00:35:29,211 --> 00:35:30,577
Do you want my help or not?
798
00:35:31,412 --> 00:35:33,613
Fine.
799
00:35:38,552 --> 00:35:40,019
Okay, yup.
800
00:35:40,021 --> 00:35:42,689
See, see, that-that
looks like...
801
00:35:42,691 --> 00:35:43,790
that looks like
they could be bigger.
802
00:35:44,860 --> 00:35:46,826
But you know, I bet...
I bet when I do it,
803
00:35:46,828 --> 00:35:49,896
mine do the same thing.
804
00:35:53,601 --> 00:35:55,001
Yeah, they kind of do.
805
00:35:55,003 --> 00:35:56,803
Hmm. Uh, let me
see something.
806
00:35:56,805 --> 00:35:59,506
Hey, easy!
807
00:35:59,508 --> 00:36:01,141
My nipples are sensitive.
808
00:36:01,143 --> 00:36:02,142
Oh.
809
00:36:02,144 --> 00:36:03,309
Sorry, sorry, uh...
810
00:36:04,813 --> 00:36:07,013
Okay.
811
00:36:11,752 --> 00:36:13,953
I mean...
812
00:36:15,790 --> 00:36:17,824
Yeah, m-maybe.
813
00:36:17,826 --> 00:36:19,993
Okay, let me feel.
814
00:36:27,768 --> 00:36:31,304
No, I am definitely
up a cup size.
815
00:36:31,306 --> 00:36:32,539
You know, b-but
they're very firm,
816
00:36:32,541 --> 00:36:34,207
so you've got that
going for you.
817
00:36:34,209 --> 00:36:35,241
You think?
818
00:36:35,243 --> 00:36:37,443
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
very perky.
819
00:36:38,379 --> 00:36:39,712
Thank you.
820
00:36:39,714 --> 00:36:41,714
I really needed
to hear that today.
821
00:36:44,652 --> 00:36:45,952
Ooh, brie's ready!
822
00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:48,021
Yay!
823
00:36:51,992 --> 00:36:52,992
Good morning.
824
00:36:52,994 --> 00:36:54,294
Hello.
825
00:36:54,296 --> 00:36:56,896
So am I driving
you to work
826
00:36:56,898 --> 00:36:58,731
or are you still mad at me?
827
00:36:58,733 --> 00:37:00,400
I'd like a ride.
828
00:37:01,235 --> 00:37:02,569
Assuming you actually do
829
00:37:02,571 --> 00:37:03,970
take me to work.
830
00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:05,839
Where do you think
I would take you?
831
00:37:05,841 --> 00:37:07,874
Who knows?
832
00:37:07,876 --> 00:37:09,943
Uh, you said
you'd be home yesterday,
833
00:37:09,945 --> 00:37:12,045
but you came home
three days ago.
834
00:37:12,047 --> 00:37:13,379
You say you're
taking me
835
00:37:13,381 --> 00:37:15,615
to work, but for all I know,
836
00:37:15,617 --> 00:37:19,285
I'll end up
in a deserted amusement park.
837
00:37:19,287 --> 00:37:21,921
Or a cornfield maze.
838
00:37:21,923 --> 00:37:23,723
Or a back alley dog fight.
839
00:37:23,725 --> 00:37:25,491
You tell me.
840
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:27,427
I'm going to work.
841
00:37:27,429 --> 00:37:28,862
You can come if you want.
842
00:37:28,864 --> 00:37:31,064
Okay.
843
00:37:31,066 --> 00:37:34,434
By the way, you have
something on your shirt.
844
00:37:34,436 --> 00:37:35,935
No, I don't.
845
00:37:35,937 --> 00:37:37,403
Hurts, doesn't it?
846
00:37:42,343 --> 00:37:44,477
You know, I find
myself wondering
847
00:37:44,479 --> 00:37:46,946
if anything you've
ever told me is true.
848
00:37:46,948 --> 00:37:48,481
I didn't make it back.
849
00:37:48,483 --> 00:37:50,683
The ship sank,
I'm in hell.
850
00:37:52,853 --> 00:37:56,823
You say you're from New Jersey,
but how can I believe you?
851
00:37:56,825 --> 00:37:59,692
Why would anyone claim
to be from New Jersey
852
00:37:59,694 --> 00:38:01,828
if they weren't?
853
00:38:03,664 --> 00:38:05,865
All right,
I'll give you that one.
854
00:38:05,867 --> 00:38:08,534
Hey, I said
I was sorry.
855
00:38:08,536 --> 00:38:10,169
What else
do you want from me?
856
00:38:10,171 --> 00:38:12,171
I want you to admit that
what you did was wrong.
857
00:38:12,173 --> 00:38:13,172
Fine.
858
00:38:13,174 --> 00:38:15,475
What I did was wrong.
859
00:38:15,477 --> 00:38:17,176
I wish I could
believe you.
860
00:38:18,947 --> 00:38:19,946
You know what?
861
00:38:19,948 --> 00:38:21,281
I'm not driving
you to work,
862
00:38:21,283 --> 00:38:22,916
because you're
incredibly annoying.
863
00:38:22,918 --> 00:38:25,718
You say one thing
and do the other,
864
00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:29,522
so then you are driving me
and you find me a delight.
865
00:38:29,524 --> 00:38:31,524
Stop it.
Keep it up?
866
00:38:31,526 --> 00:38:32,325
Bye!
867
00:38:32,327 --> 00:38:33,893
Hello!
868
00:38:38,532 --> 00:38:42,635
So I guess you're really holding
up the other four fingers?
869
00:38:45,172 --> 00:38:47,073
Oh, hey, what are you
doing here so early?
870
00:38:47,075 --> 00:38:48,207
Driving Sheldon to work.
871
00:38:48,209 --> 00:38:49,842
He's still mad at Leonard, huh?
872
00:38:49,844 --> 00:38:51,210
Well, he's mad at you, too.
873
00:38:51,212 --> 00:38:55,181
He says you're the succubus
who led his friend astray.
874
00:38:56,784 --> 00:38:59,619
I don't know
what "succubus" is, but...
875
00:38:59,621 --> 00:39:02,355
it has "suck" in it,
so that can't be good.
876
00:39:03,724 --> 00:39:05,792
Thought I heard
you out here.
877
00:39:05,794 --> 00:39:06,693
Hey, Sheldon.
878
00:39:06,695 --> 00:39:08,161
You don't get a "hey."
879
00:39:08,163 --> 00:39:10,063
You get a "hmm."
880
00:39:10,065 --> 00:39:11,597
Come on, don't be like that.
881
00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:14,334
We had so much fun together
the last couple of months.
882
00:39:14,336 --> 00:39:15,568
You're right.
883
00:39:15,570 --> 00:39:17,437
Which makes your betrayal
all the more devastating.
884
00:39:17,439 --> 00:39:18,604
Sheldon...
885
00:39:18,606 --> 00:39:20,573
I let you buy
feminine hygiene products
886
00:39:20,575 --> 00:39:22,608
with my supermarket club card.
887
00:39:23,811 --> 00:39:25,645
You have any idea
the kind of coupons
888
00:39:25,647 --> 00:39:27,547
I'm going to get
in the mail now?
889
00:39:28,582 --> 00:39:30,016
Sheldon, your fight's
with Leonard.
890
00:39:30,018 --> 00:39:31,617
Penny's got nothing to do...
891
00:39:31,619 --> 00:39:33,353
Careful, Amy.
892
00:39:33,355 --> 00:39:37,190
The friend of my enemy's
girlfriend is my enemy.
893
00:39:37,192 --> 00:39:38,057
Really?
894
00:39:38,059 --> 00:39:39,158
Yes.
895
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:40,793
You're either with me
or against me.
896
00:39:40,795 --> 00:39:43,129
You want to take
the bus to work?
897
00:39:43,998 --> 00:39:46,232
Maybe there's a third option.
898
00:39:48,402 --> 00:39:51,838
FYI, I had a doughnut
for breakfast, you jerk.
899
00:39:54,775 --> 00:39:56,743
So now we're just
waiting for the data
900
00:39:56,745 --> 00:39:58,111
from the ship to be crunched,
901
00:39:58,113 --> 00:40:00,747
but the numbers look
pretty promising.
902
00:40:00,749 --> 00:40:01,914
That's so great.
903
00:40:01,916 --> 00:40:04,050
If you guys prove the existence
of Unruh radiation...
904
00:40:04,052 --> 00:40:05,151
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
905
00:40:05,153 --> 00:40:06,753
My eyes are up here.
906
00:40:08,956 --> 00:40:10,523
Howard, Raj.
907
00:40:10,525 --> 00:40:12,325
Judas.
908
00:40:13,260 --> 00:40:14,494
You know what?
909
00:40:14,496 --> 00:40:15,962
You're a crazy person.
910
00:40:15,964 --> 00:40:18,264
A crazy person
with a long memory,
911
00:40:18,266 --> 00:40:21,334
and if all goes
according to plan, a robot army.
912
00:40:22,236 --> 00:40:23,236
Stop it.
913
00:40:23,238 --> 00:40:24,504
Or a mutant army.
914
00:40:24,506 --> 00:40:27,173
It depends on how
my Kickstarter goes.
915
00:40:28,409 --> 00:40:30,543
I said, stop it!
916
00:40:30,545 --> 00:40:32,945
Now, listen to me.
917
00:40:32,947 --> 00:40:36,416
You two aren't just friends.
918
00:40:36,418 --> 00:40:38,384
You're best friends.
919
00:40:39,086 --> 00:40:41,220
And that's a beautiful thing.
920
00:40:42,923 --> 00:40:46,859
I mean, Leonard, you know why
he's so mad at you?
921
00:40:46,861 --> 00:40:48,661
It's 'cause he missed you!
922
00:40:48,663 --> 00:40:50,296
Yeah, and as his friend,
923
00:40:50,298 --> 00:40:53,066
you should be happy
924
00:40:53,068 --> 00:40:56,269
he has love in his life.
925
00:40:56,271 --> 00:40:58,171
As I do.
926
00:41:00,007 --> 00:41:02,308
This man held my breast
the other day,
927
00:41:02,310 --> 00:41:04,143
and I love him for it.
928
00:41:05,979 --> 00:41:08,915
A little loud, dude.
929
00:41:10,217 --> 00:41:14,153
So, can we please put aside
these petty differences
930
00:41:14,155 --> 00:41:17,356
and just be glad
we're here together?
931
00:41:20,227 --> 00:41:21,928
Okay.
I suppose so.
932
00:41:21,930 --> 00:41:24,730
Thank you.
933
00:41:25,669 --> 00:41:26,969
Uh, it wasn't anything weird.
934
00:41:26,971 --> 00:41:29,271
It was just to see
how big they were.
935
00:41:38,784 --> 00:41:41,953
And then Leonard took me
to the barber and the dentist,
936
00:41:41,955 --> 00:41:43,755
and then to cap off
the perfect day,
937
00:41:43,757 --> 00:41:47,292
the Los Angeles Bureau
of Weights and Measures.
938
00:41:48,294 --> 00:41:50,362
I thought the measures
were going to be the stars
939
00:41:50,364 --> 00:41:53,765
of the show;
turns out it was the weights.
940
00:41:53,767 --> 00:41:56,835
I'm so glad you guys
are friends again.
941
00:41:56,837 --> 00:41:59,537
And I'm glad you and I
are friends again, too.
942
00:41:59,539 --> 00:42:00,905
Aw.
Which reminds me.
943
00:42:00,907 --> 00:42:03,675
This came in the mail,
and I want you to have it.
944
00:42:03,677 --> 00:42:07,212
"50 cents off Vagisil."
945
00:42:08,547 --> 00:42:11,349
Think of me
when you apply it.
946
00:42:14,020 --> 00:42:15,320
Uh, can I just say,
947
00:42:15,322 --> 00:42:17,455
I've missed all of us
hanging out together.
948
00:42:17,457 --> 00:42:19,090
Yeah.
Me, too.
949
00:42:19,092 --> 00:42:21,693
Um, since when can
Koothrappali talk
950
00:42:21,695 --> 00:42:23,461
in front of the girls
without a beer?
951
00:42:23,463 --> 00:42:25,664
Oh, that happened
right after you left.
952
00:42:25,666 --> 00:42:27,232
And no one told me?
953
00:42:27,234 --> 00:42:30,502
Can't believe
we forgot to tell him.
954
00:42:33,307 --> 00:42:35,173
Think of Sheldon
when you apply it.
955
00:42:35,175 --> 00:42:40,175
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man