1
00:00:02,652 --> 00:00:05,245
And here's another
interesting weather fact.
2
00:00:05,366 --> 00:00:07,256
Another? Great!
3
00:00:07,954 --> 00:00:11,262
Changes in jet streams
can affect the speed
4
00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:13,615
at which the Earth
rotates on its axis,
5
00:00:13,645 --> 00:00:17,202
so bad weather can actually
make the day longer.
6
00:00:17,302 --> 00:00:20,170
Well, there must be a hell
of a storm somewhere.
7
00:00:22,213 --> 00:00:25,705
Joke if you must, but you're
going to miss these moments.
8
00:00:25,772 --> 00:00:27,635
With Leonard home
in a few days,
9
00:00:27,671 --> 00:00:30,575
this was your last time driving
me to the grocery store.
10
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:32,622
You know, I will miss this.
11
00:00:32,906 --> 00:00:35,806
I'll tell you what, if
my apples are mealy,
12
00:00:35,843 --> 00:00:39,822
we'll hit the produce section
for one last crazy blowout.
13
00:00:40,336 --> 00:00:42,347
Heck, you can even
push the cart.
14
00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:47,017
Please don't take my looking
forward to Leonard's return
15
00:00:47,038 --> 00:00:50,732
as criticism of the job you've
been doing in his absence.
16
00:00:50,781 --> 00:00:51,995
I won't.
17
00:00:52,323 --> 00:00:55,760
That criticism will come
later in your report card.
18
00:00:56,442 --> 00:01:00,776
Yeah, I didn't stay for the detention,
I'm not gonna read the report card.
19
00:01:04,149 --> 00:01:06,009
- Hello.
- Leonard!
20
00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:07,438
- Shh, shh.
- Hi!
21
00:01:07,449 --> 00:01:08,662
- Keep your voice down.
- Oh, my God.
22
00:01:08,688 --> 00:01:10,169
You weren't supposed
to be here till Sunday!
23
00:01:10,189 --> 00:01:12,923
We finished the experiment early, so I
thought I'd come home and surprise you.
24
00:01:12,938 --> 00:01:14,386
Oh, my gosh, why
are we whispering?
25
00:01:14,403 --> 00:01:17,016
I didn't tell Sheldon, so we
could have a few days alone.
26
00:01:17,055 --> 00:01:19,111
Oh, that is so romantic.
27
00:01:19,183 --> 00:01:21,361
Uh, sure, that's why I did it.
28
00:01:22,155 --> 00:01:25,106
Oh... I just cannot
believe you're here.
29
00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:27,023
Penny, it's your lucky day!
30
00:01:27,062 --> 00:01:30,842
Three of the eggs are clearly
not jumbo. Grab your keys.
31
00:01:32,586 --> 00:01:36,050
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
32
00:01:36,073 --> 00:01:39,888
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
33
00:01:39,911 --> 00:01:41,182
♪ The Earth began to cool
34
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:44,195
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
35
00:01:44,209 --> 00:01:46,155
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
36
00:01:46,188 --> 00:01:49,025
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
37
00:01:49,045 --> 00:01:51,040
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
38
00:01:51,059 --> 00:01:52,059
♪ Bang! ♪
39
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:54,579
♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x02 ♪
The Deception Verification
Original Air Date on September 26, 2013
40
00:01:54,598 --> 00:01:57,598
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
41
00:01:58,265 --> 00:02:01,965
Uh, Stuart, I was wondering if you
could help me find something.
42
00:02:01,985 --> 00:02:05,091
Happy to, unless it's
hope or a reason to live.
43
00:02:06,118 --> 00:02:09,578
Oh, you make me
laugh, sad clown.
44
00:02:11,129 --> 00:02:12,049
Anyhoo...
45
00:02:12,071 --> 00:02:16,479
Leonard will be back in a couple days
and I need a welcome-home gift for him.
46
00:02:16,501 --> 00:02:22,056
As he's been at sea, perhaps something with
a nautical theme might be appropriate.
47
00:02:22,152 --> 00:02:24,490
Okay, well, I don't know how
much you want to spend,
48
00:02:24,508 --> 00:02:27,694
but I do have this pretty
cool Aquaman statue.
49
00:02:32,095 --> 00:02:33,271
Aquaman?
50
00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:35,858
Oh, this isn't a
gag gift, Stuart.
51
00:02:37,381 --> 00:02:40,040
Yeah, just as well. It's
a pretty rare piece.
52
00:02:40,048 --> 00:02:42,482
I'd rather just sell it
to a real collector.
53
00:02:43,060 --> 00:02:45,229
I'm a real collector.
54
00:02:46,483 --> 00:02:47,671
How rare is it?
55
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,476
Oh, I shouldn't even
have mentioned it.
56
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,615
How about a Batman squirt gun?
57
00:02:52,564 --> 00:02:55,831
Don't try and trick me into
buying something I don't want.
58
00:02:55,921 --> 00:02:57,847
Now let's talk Aquaman.
59
00:02:59,033 --> 00:03:04,175
What were they thinking, putting Doctor
Octopus's mind in Spider-Man's body?
60
00:03:04,206 --> 00:03:06,169
Well, I've been
quite enjoying that.
61
00:03:06,189 --> 00:03:08,457
It combines all the
superhero fun of Spider-Man
62
00:03:08,468 --> 00:03:11,602
with all the body-switching
shenanigans of Freaky Friday.
63
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:14,591
Both versions:
original and Lohan.
64
00:03:15,844 --> 00:03:19,369
"Both versions: original and
Lohan." You're an idiot.
65
00:03:19,414 --> 00:03:21,395
Hey, what's your problem?
66
00:03:21,478 --> 00:03:23,281
I'm sorry, I've been
kind of snippy lately.
67
00:03:23,297 --> 00:03:25,631
It's probably this
stupid diet I'm on.
68
00:03:25,658 --> 00:03:26,752
Why are you on a diet?
69
00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:29,149
I've put on a couple pounds.
70
00:03:29,967 --> 00:03:32,602
Had to buy these pants
in the men's section.
71
00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:37,281
Well, we've all seen your mom.
72
00:03:38,328 --> 00:03:41,451
That Butterball turkey was
bound to come home to roost.
73
00:03:42,849 --> 00:03:45,878
$1,200!
That's my final offer!
74
00:03:46,757 --> 00:03:48,961
All right, Sheldon, you win.
75
00:03:48,998 --> 00:03:50,848
I'm sure Leonard
is gonna love this.
76
00:03:50,915 --> 00:03:53,558
Oh, right, a present
for Leonard.
77
00:03:54,866 --> 00:03:56,891
You better throw in
that squirt gun.
78
00:03:57,891 --> 00:04:01,571
Yeah, I don't know. This squirt
gun, it's, uh, it's pretty rare.
79
00:04:02,878 --> 00:04:04,720
Ooh.
80
00:04:06,718 --> 00:04:10,139
And this is me doing
the Titanic pose on the boat.
81
00:04:10,153 --> 00:04:11,761
Ah.
82
00:04:12,266 --> 00:04:13,372
And... oh.
83
00:04:13,398 --> 00:04:15,268
That's me getting rescued
after I fell in.
84
00:04:15,275 --> 00:04:16,775
Oh.
85
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,777
- Oh, that's the pizza.
- Yep.
86
00:04:19,803 --> 00:04:21,650
- Here's some money.
- Thank you.
87
00:04:21,675 --> 00:04:23,396
And I'm gonna hit the head.
88
00:04:23,709 --> 00:04:27,025
That's what us salty sea dogs
say when we have to go pee-pee.
89
00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:30,907
- Hey.
- $22.50.
90
00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:32,715
Okay, here's, uh, $25.
Keep the change.
91
00:04:32,734 --> 00:04:36,189
Seriously? I just walked up,
like, four flights of stairs.
92
00:04:37,333 --> 00:04:40,358
Oh. Okay. Well, here's, um...
93
00:04:40,683 --> 00:04:43,555
30-something cents and a
94
00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:46,987
promise I won't call your boss and
tell him you reek of marijuana.
95
00:04:49,312 --> 00:04:51,886
Oh, Penny, I see
you've ordered pizza.
96
00:04:51,908 --> 00:04:54,252
- I have Chinese food.
- That's nice.
97
00:04:54,431 --> 00:04:57,207
Oh, that's a rather
earthy cologne.
98
00:05:00,346 --> 00:05:02,662
My uncle used to wear that.
99
00:05:03,209 --> 00:05:06,872
Perhaps we can enjoy one last meal
together before Leonard returns.
100
00:05:06,903 --> 00:05:09,016
Yeah, thanks, but I kind of feel
like eating alone tonight, so...
101
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,032
Are you sure?
102
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:14,529
With your Italian pizza and my Chinese
noodles, we could play Marco Polo.
103
00:05:14,942 --> 00:05:17,431
I mean, of course, a
reenactment of a meal
104
00:05:17,449 --> 00:05:19,972
in the life of Marco Polo
the Venetian explorer,
105
00:05:19,994 --> 00:05:23,444
not Marco Polo the
terrifying water sport.
106
00:05:24,535 --> 00:05:26,223
Uh, yeah, it sounds
fun, but no thanks.
107
00:05:27,071 --> 00:05:29,919
- Have a good night!
- What, now... do you have company?
108
00:05:29,922 --> 00:05:31,341
No. No, no, no.
109
00:05:31,355 --> 00:05:32,939
You know what? Th-The
toilet's been doing that.
110
00:05:32,942 --> 00:05:34,286
I called
the building manager, so...
111
00:05:34,296 --> 00:05:35,987
- Oh, I can take a look at it.
- Well...
112
00:05:36,012 --> 00:05:39,360
I'm quite familiar with plumbing.
Not to brag,
113
00:05:39,395 --> 00:05:42,519
but I spent most of fifth grade
with my head in a toilet.
114
00:05:43,163 --> 00:05:45,450
Yeah, no, no, no. You know
what, Sheldon, it's okay.
115
00:05:45,459 --> 00:05:47,148
You don't have to go
into the bathroom.
116
00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:48,752
That's curious.
117
00:05:48,823 --> 00:05:53,265
If there's no one here, why are there
two glasses of wine on the table?
118
00:05:53,734 --> 00:05:54,728
Oh.
119
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,807
Well, you know, I-I've got two hands
and a bit of a drinking problem.
120
00:05:59,955 --> 00:06:02,838
- Of course. Ask a silly question.
- Oh.
121
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,983
- That's odd.
- Um, what?
122
00:06:06,081 --> 00:06:09,038
There are takeout containers
in the trash can.
123
00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:11,269
So? That's my dinner
from last night.
124
00:06:11,302 --> 00:06:14,178
What's odd is they're
in the trash can.
125
00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:17,688
Okay. Look, honey, I promise there's
no one's here. I've had a long day.
126
00:06:17,708 --> 00:06:20,040
I just want to have
a quiet dinner by myself.
127
00:06:20,376 --> 00:06:21,807
Oh, very well.
128
00:06:21,910 --> 00:06:25,543
I'm no stranger to enjoying
the pleasures of solitude.
129
00:06:26,077 --> 00:06:28,113
- Oh!
- What?
130
00:06:28,816 --> 00:06:30,716
Have you gotten Leonard
a welcome-home gift yet?
131
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:31,799
- No.
- Oh, great.
132
00:06:31,827 --> 00:06:35,008
Do you want to go halfsies
on a $200 squirt gun?
133
00:06:38,563 --> 00:06:40,464
- Hi, honey.
- Hey.
134
00:06:40,491 --> 00:06:42,476
I made some brownies.
You want one?
135
00:06:42,898 --> 00:06:44,732
You're kidding, right?
136
00:06:45,641 --> 00:06:48,678
I mean, you know I'm
trying to lose weight.
137
00:06:48,703 --> 00:06:51,789
God, I thought we were
partners in this marriage.
138
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:55,816
We are. Stop it. And for the
last time, you're not fat.
139
00:06:55,841 --> 00:06:59,889
Really? Tell that to the bathroom
scale, 'cause one of you is lying.
140
00:07:01,061 --> 00:07:02,945
Fine, forget I asked.
141
00:07:03,208 --> 00:07:05,428
- How was dinner at your mom's?
- Awful.
142
00:07:05,439 --> 00:07:08,033
I had to rub her ointment
all over her again.
143
00:07:08,516 --> 00:07:09,790
Why can't she do it?
144
00:07:09,815 --> 00:07:13,236
'Cause we've got a deeply
unhealthy relationship.
145
00:07:14,593 --> 00:07:18,104
Which reminds me, do you think you can
get any samples of this from work?
146
00:07:18,129 --> 00:07:19,476
This was supposed
to last her a month,
147
00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:22,702
but they didn't take into account
the square footage of her back.
148
00:07:24,419 --> 00:07:26,167
Let me see.
149
00:07:27,302 --> 00:07:29,283
How long have you been
putting this on her?
150
00:07:29,308 --> 00:07:31,302
I don't know. Few weeks. Why?
151
00:07:31,807 --> 00:07:33,907
This is really strong
estrogen cream.
152
00:07:33,927 --> 00:07:35,808
Please tell me
you've been wearing gloves.
153
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:38,821
Like these swollen sausages
could fit in gloves.
154
00:07:40,053 --> 00:07:42,850
Howie, the estrogen's getting
absorbed by your skin.
155
00:07:42,881 --> 00:07:47,746
That's why you've been all bloated and
moody and a giant pain in the ass.
156
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,969
You're full of estrogen
and you don't act like that.
157
00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:52,150
That's 'cause I'm a woman.
158
00:07:52,175 --> 00:07:55,305
I've had years of practice
riding the dragon.
159
00:07:57,589 --> 00:08:00,276
Fine. I'll wear
gloves next time.
160
00:08:00,543 --> 00:08:03,728
It's still gonna take a few weeks for
the hormones to leave your system.
161
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:07,341
I feel so stupid. And fat.
162
00:08:08,470 --> 00:08:11,636
It's okay. You still
look great to me.
163
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:15,572
In fact, why don't we go in the
bedroom and I'll prove it to you?
164
00:08:16,113 --> 00:08:19,569
Sex? Really? I mean, that's just
your solution to everything!
165
00:08:22,254 --> 00:08:24,054
Oh, and here's a fun thing.
166
00:08:24,123 --> 00:08:27,286
I worked it out so that there are
two different words for spoon:
167
00:08:27,411 --> 00:08:29,549
"planko" and "janko."
168
00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,890
"Planko" is a spoon with food,
169
00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:34,107
"janko" is a spoon
without food.
170
00:08:35,288 --> 00:08:38,087
"Janko" is spelled
with a silent "ptang."
171
00:08:40,254 --> 00:08:41,580
Sheldon,
172
00:08:41,610 --> 00:08:44,445
you're not even listening to the
rules of my made-up language.
173
00:08:44,537 --> 00:08:45,743
Yes, I am.
174
00:08:45,782 --> 00:08:47,649
Then what does
"tweepadock" mean?
175
00:08:47,714 --> 00:08:49,133
Uh...
176
00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:50,824
elephant?
177
00:08:51,539 --> 00:08:53,203
Lucky guess.
178
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:59,919
I'm sorry. I'm just distracted by
something that happened over at Penny's.
179
00:08:59,958 --> 00:09:01,210
What happened?
180
00:09:01,262 --> 00:09:04,044
I fear Penny is being
unfaithful to Leonard.
181
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,066
What?
182
00:09:05,108 --> 00:09:10,071
She claimed to be alone when there was
obviously someone else in her apartment.
183
00:09:10,109 --> 00:09:12,684
I have no choice but
to assume the worst,
184
00:09:12,705 --> 00:09:18,087
given Leonard's lengthy sea voyage and
her famously ravenous nether regions.
185
00:09:19,229 --> 00:09:21,480
I don't think Penny
would cheat on Leonard.
186
00:09:21,551 --> 00:09:22,686
Oh, really?
187
00:09:25,037 --> 00:09:28,108
She and I once had
a staring contest.
188
00:09:28,309 --> 00:09:31,344
She clapped really loud
and made me blink.
189
00:09:32,228 --> 00:09:35,497
It's a small leap from
there to sexual infidelity.
190
00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:39,136
You're being ridiculous.
191
00:09:39,261 --> 00:09:42,100
Amy, there were Chinese
food containers...
192
00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:44,433
in the trash can.
193
00:09:46,236 --> 00:09:47,936
Poor Leonard.
194
00:09:53,376 --> 00:09:56,642
- Do you hear anything?
- I hear a woman's voice.
195
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,606
- Is it Penny?
- No, it's you.
196
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,842
All right,
I hear whispering and giggling.
197
00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:06,738
Now I think I hear kissing.
198
00:10:06,769 --> 00:10:09,185
Yeah, like you know
what kissing sounds like.
199
00:10:10,330 --> 00:10:12,791
There's kissing in Star
Trek, smarty-pants.
200
00:10:13,302 --> 00:10:15,135
Let me listen.
201
00:10:17,462 --> 00:10:19,931
- Sounds like Leonard.
- Please.
202
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:24,052
Why would Leonard come home early
and waste his time kissing Penny
203
00:10:24,084 --> 00:10:27,134
when he could be hanging
out with his best buddy?
204
00:10:28,492 --> 00:10:29,981
Yeah, that's it.
205
00:10:30,009 --> 00:10:31,415
I'm catching her in the act.
206
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,473
No, Sheldon, don't.
207
00:10:34,106 --> 00:10:36,467
- Aha!
- What the hell?!
208
00:10:36,495 --> 00:10:37,295
Leonard?
209
00:10:37,314 --> 00:10:39,673
Sheldon, you cannot just
barge in here like that!
210
00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:41,415
Right.
211
00:10:44,757 --> 00:10:45,886
Penny!
212
00:10:45,948 --> 00:10:48,435
Penny!
Penny!
213
00:10:51,628 --> 00:10:55,360
Are you going to answer the door or
should I open it and say "aha" again?
214
00:10:59,805 --> 00:11:02,078
I'm sorry, Sheldon. I should've
told you I was back.
215
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:04,096
I just wanted to have a
couple days alone with Penny.
216
00:11:04,103 --> 00:11:06,172
Oh, no, I should apologize.
217
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:10,244
Uh, I never realized to what extent
our friendship was a burden to you.
218
00:11:10,595 --> 00:11:11,955
That is not fair.
219
00:11:11,994 --> 00:11:15,059
I complain about what a burden
it is at least once a month.
220
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:17,126
Oh, no, no, let's
not sugarcoat this.
221
00:11:17,150 --> 00:11:20,699
You find me finicky,
pedantic and annoying.
222
00:11:20,753 --> 00:11:22,149
No, he doesn't.
223
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,987
I actually have used
those exact words before.
224
00:11:26,967 --> 00:11:28,667
In that order.
225
00:11:29,445 --> 00:11:34,497
Well, Leonard, I think it's high time you
and I address the "tweepadock" in the room.
226
00:11:36,004 --> 00:11:36,817
The what?
227
00:11:36,895 --> 00:11:38,270
- Amy?
- Please leave me out of this.
228
00:11:38,303 --> 00:11:39,593
Uh...
229
00:11:39,618 --> 00:11:41,349
fine. Leonard,
230
00:11:41,465 --> 00:11:44,140
there's no need for you to
pretend to like me anymore.
231
00:11:44,155 --> 00:11:45,611
Come on, I said I was sorry.
232
00:11:45,656 --> 00:11:50,595
No, no, you save your apologies for after
you've had disappointing coitus with Penny.
233
00:11:53,166 --> 00:11:54,937
It was fine.
234
00:11:55,519 --> 00:11:57,041
Come on, this is silly.
235
00:11:57,469 --> 00:12:01,933
Hey, um, I brought you back a
little present from my trip, huh?
236
00:12:03,362 --> 00:12:05,506
It's that sailor cap
that you wanted.
237
00:12:05,546 --> 00:12:07,012
It's neat, huh?
238
00:12:08,092 --> 00:12:12,176
You honestly think you can buy back
my friendship with a cheap souvenir?
239
00:12:12,714 --> 00:12:13,683
I don't.
240
00:12:13,715 --> 00:12:16,532
No, I really don't.
Just try it on.
241
00:12:20,353 --> 00:12:21,051
Oh, yeah.
242
00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:23,333
- Hello, sailor.
- Ooh, now we're talking.
243
00:12:26,225 --> 00:12:27,707
Excuse me.
244
00:12:35,978 --> 00:12:37,733
This changes nothing.
245
00:12:38,905 --> 00:12:41,474
Except the Halloween costume
I'm wearing this year.
246
00:12:42,453 --> 00:12:46,295
Amy, you're going to be Olive Oyl.
Lay off the donuts.
247
00:12:50,488 --> 00:12:52,363
- Thanks for coming over.
- No problem.
248
00:12:52,412 --> 00:12:54,027
Ooh, you made
little sandwiches!
249
00:12:54,058 --> 00:12:58,657
Yeah, that's cucumber and cream cheese.
That's turkey and loganberry.
250
00:12:58,675 --> 00:13:02,020
And don't tell my hips, but I'm
warming up a brie in the oven.
251
00:13:02,997 --> 00:13:04,597
Nice. So...
252
00:13:04,749 --> 00:13:06,471
Mmm. What's up?
253
00:13:06,557 --> 00:13:09,809
Okay, well, I've been reading up on all the
side effects
254
00:13:09,846 --> 00:13:12,537
you can get from
estrogen, and...
255
00:13:12,705 --> 00:13:15,191
I need you to be honest with me.
256
00:13:15,708 --> 00:13:18,339
Do my boobs look bigger to you?
257
00:13:19,443 --> 00:13:21,749
Well, it's kind of hard to tell.
258
00:13:21,777 --> 00:13:23,890
Come on, Raj, it's a
"yes or no" question.
259
00:13:23,902 --> 00:13:25,133
I'm not sure.
260
00:13:25,159 --> 00:13:26,827
Um, wait.
261
00:13:27,002 --> 00:13:29,297
Jump up and down--
let's see if they jiggle.
262
00:13:36,688 --> 00:13:40,046
Uh, no, I... I still
can't tell, uh...
263
00:13:40,139 --> 00:13:42,959
Oh, you know what? Okay,
uh, give me some of this.
264
00:13:46,004 --> 00:13:48,539
- Seriously?
- Do you want my help or not?
265
00:13:49,712 --> 00:13:51,243
Fine.
266
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,740
Okay, yup.
267
00:13:58,134 --> 00:14:01,479
See, see, that-that looks like...
that looks like they could be bigger.
268
00:14:02,791 --> 00:14:06,608
But you know, I bet... I bet when
I do it, mine do the same thing.
269
00:14:11,313 --> 00:14:12,601
Yeah, they kind of do.
270
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:14,539
Hmm. Uh, let me
see something.
271
00:14:14,555 --> 00:14:16,821
Hey, easy!
272
00:14:17,527 --> 00:14:19,790
- My nipples are sensitive.
- Oh.
273
00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:21,185
Sorry, sorry, uh...
274
00:14:23,056 --> 00:14:24,412
Okay.
275
00:14:29,709 --> 00:14:31,278
I mean...
276
00:14:33,576 --> 00:14:35,265
Yeah, m-maybe.
277
00:14:35,301 --> 00:14:37,247
Okay, let me feel.
278
00:14:45,787 --> 00:14:48,407
No, I am definitely
up a cup size.
279
00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:51,939
You know, b-but they're very firm,
so you've got that going for you.
280
00:14:52,608 --> 00:14:55,040
- You think?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, very perky.
281
00:14:56,241 --> 00:14:57,574
Thank you.
282
00:14:57,707 --> 00:14:59,707
I really needed
to hear that today.
283
00:15:02,648 --> 00:15:04,934
- Ooh, brie's ready!
- Yay!
284
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:12,111
- Good morning.
- Hello.
285
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:16,229
So am I driving you to work
or are you still mad at me?
286
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,289
I'd like a ride.
287
00:15:19,009 --> 00:15:21,711
Assuming you actually
do take me to work.
288
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,133
Where do you think
I would take you?
289
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,682
Who knows?
290
00:15:25,813 --> 00:15:27,813
Uh, you said you'd
be home yesterday,
291
00:15:27,832 --> 00:15:29,932
but you came home
three days ago.
292
00:15:29,959 --> 00:15:33,147
You say you're taking me to
work, but for all I know,
293
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:36,554
I'll end up in a
deserted amusement park.
294
00:15:37,079 --> 00:15:39,608
Or a cornfield maze.
295
00:15:39,867 --> 00:15:43,009
Or a back alley dog fight.
You tell me.
296
00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:46,766
I'm going to work. You
can come if you want.
297
00:15:46,814 --> 00:15:48,163
Okay.
298
00:15:49,227 --> 00:15:52,299
By the way, you have
something on your shirt.
299
00:15:52,479 --> 00:15:53,610
No, I don't.
300
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,392
Hurts, doesn't it?
301
00:16:00,436 --> 00:16:04,801
You know, I find myself wondering if
anything you've ever told me is true.
302
00:16:05,323 --> 00:16:08,531
I didn't make it back. The
ship sank, I'm in hell.
303
00:16:11,035 --> 00:16:14,924
You say you're from New Jersey,
but how can I believe you?
304
00:16:15,556 --> 00:16:19,174
Why would anyone claim to be
from New Jersey if they weren't?
305
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,347
All right,
I'll give you that one.
306
00:16:24,804 --> 00:16:27,640
Hey, I said I was sorry. What
else do you want from me?
307
00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:30,044
I want you to admit that
what you did was wrong.
308
00:16:30,062 --> 00:16:32,845
Fine. What I did was wrong.
309
00:16:33,357 --> 00:16:34,619
I wish I could believe you.
310
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,869
You know what? I'm not
driving you to work,
311
00:16:38,883 --> 00:16:40,458
because you're
incredibly annoying.
312
00:16:40,493 --> 00:16:42,933
You say one thing
and do the other,
313
00:16:42,956 --> 00:16:46,333
so then you are driving me
and you find me a delight.
314
00:16:47,868 --> 00:16:49,272
- Stop it.
- Keep it up?
315
00:16:49,301 --> 00:16:51,322
- Bye!
- Hello!
316
00:16:56,138 --> 00:16:59,444
So I guess you're really holding
up the other four fingers?
317
00:17:03,159 --> 00:17:04,683
Oh, hey, what are you
doing here so early?
318
00:17:04,699 --> 00:17:06,045
Driving Sheldon to work.
319
00:17:06,107 --> 00:17:09,065
- He's still mad at Leonard, huh?
- Well, he's mad at you, too.
320
00:17:09,086 --> 00:17:12,382
He says you're the succubus
who led his friend astray.
321
00:17:14,489 --> 00:17:17,451
I don't know what
"succubus" is, but...
322
00:17:17,563 --> 00:17:19,926
it has "suck" in it,
so that can't be good.
323
00:17:22,137 --> 00:17:24,593
- Thought I heard you out here.
- Hey, Sheldon.
324
00:17:24,770 --> 00:17:26,297
You don't get a "hey."
325
00:17:26,407 --> 00:17:27,951
You get a "hmm."
326
00:17:28,325 --> 00:17:29,562
Come on, don't be like that.
327
00:17:29,578 --> 00:17:31,896
We had so much fun together
the last couple of months.
328
00:17:31,921 --> 00:17:32,902
You're right.
329
00:17:32,934 --> 00:17:35,186
Which makes your betrayal
all the more devastating.
330
00:17:35,206 --> 00:17:35,901
Sheldon...
331
00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:40,431
I let you buy feminine hygiene products
with my supermarket club card.
332
00:17:41,509 --> 00:17:45,180
You have any idea the kind of coupons
I'm going to get in the mail now?
333
00:17:46,317 --> 00:17:48,927
Sheldon, your fight's with Leonard.
Penny's got nothing to do...
334
00:17:48,948 --> 00:17:50,848
Careful, Amy.
335
00:17:50,915 --> 00:17:54,229
The friend of my enemy's
girlfriend is my enemy.
336
00:17:55,121 --> 00:17:56,327
- Really?
- Yes.
337
00:17:56,358 --> 00:17:58,709
You're either with me
or against me.
338
00:17:58,868 --> 00:18:00,867
You want to take
the bus to work?
339
00:18:02,608 --> 00:18:04,325
Maybe there's a third option.
340
00:18:06,262 --> 00:18:09,557
FYI, I had a doughnut
for breakfast, you jerk.
341
00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:15,698
So now we're just waiting for the
data from the ship to be crunched,
342
00:18:15,724 --> 00:18:18,100
but the numbers look
pretty promising.
343
00:18:18,122 --> 00:18:19,128
That's so great.
344
00:18:19,327 --> 00:18:22,292
If you guys prove the existence
of Unruh radiation...
345
00:18:22,319 --> 00:18:24,683
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
My eyes are up here.
346
00:18:26,604 --> 00:18:28,436
Howard, Raj.
347
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,743
Judas.
348
00:18:30,732 --> 00:18:31,845
You know what?
349
00:18:31,925 --> 00:18:33,450
You're a crazy person.
350
00:18:33,468 --> 00:18:38,982
A crazy person with a long memory, and if
all goes according to plan, a robot army.
351
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:41,989
- Stop it.
- Or a mutant army.
352
00:18:41,998 --> 00:18:44,313
It depends on how
my Kickstarter goes.
353
00:18:45,982 --> 00:18:48,116
I said, stop it!
354
00:18:48,651 --> 00:18:50,532
Now, listen to me.
355
00:18:50,851 --> 00:18:53,932
You two aren't just friends.
356
00:18:53,978 --> 00:18:55,944
You're best friends.
357
00:18:56,627 --> 00:18:58,761
And that's a beautiful thing.
358
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,791
I mean, Leonard, you know
why he's so mad at you?
359
00:19:04,804 --> 00:19:07,072
It's 'cause he missed you!
360
00:19:07,266 --> 00:19:13,697
Yeah, and as his friend, you should
be happy he has love in his life.
361
00:19:14,075 --> 00:19:15,703
As I do.
362
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:22,162
This man held my breast the other
day, and I love him for it.
363
00:19:23,915 --> 00:19:26,071
A little loud, dude.
364
00:19:28,164 --> 00:19:32,098
So, can we please put aside
these petty differences
365
00:19:32,134 --> 00:19:35,375
and just be glad
we're here together?
366
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,519
- Okay.
- I suppose so.
367
00:19:39,728 --> 00:19:41,534
Thank you.
368
00:19:42,767 --> 00:19:46,369
Uh, it wasn't anything weird. It
was just to see how big they were.
369
00:19:51,885 --> 00:19:54,856
And then Leonard took me
to the barber and the dentist,
370
00:19:54,874 --> 00:19:56,742
and then to cap off
the perfect day,
371
00:19:56,776 --> 00:20:00,096
the Los Angeles Bureau
of Weights and Measures.
372
00:20:01,164 --> 00:20:03,773
I thought the measures were going
to be the stars of the show;
373
00:20:03,804 --> 00:20:06,278
turns out it was the weights.
374
00:20:07,343 --> 00:20:09,782
I'm so glad you guys
are friends again.
375
00:20:09,813 --> 00:20:12,487
And I'm glad you and I
are friends again, too.
376
00:20:12,523 --> 00:20:13,993
- Aw.
- Which reminds me.
377
00:20:14,012 --> 00:20:17,055
This came in the mail,
and I want you to have it.
378
00:20:17,243 --> 00:20:19,828
"50 cents off Vagisil."
379
00:20:22,075 --> 00:20:24,386
Think of me when you apply it.
380
00:20:26,933 --> 00:20:28,614
Uh, can I just say,
381
00:20:28,639 --> 00:20:30,608
I've missed all of us
hanging out together.
382
00:20:30,683 --> 00:20:32,146
- Yeah.
- Me, too.
383
00:20:32,168 --> 00:20:36,619
Um, since when can Koothrappali talk
in front of the girls without a beer?
384
00:20:36,639 --> 00:20:38,545
Oh, that happened
right after you left.
385
00:20:38,698 --> 00:20:40,642
And no one told me?
386
00:20:40,809 --> 00:20:43,771
Can't believe we
forgot to tell him.
387
00:20:46,295 --> 00:20:48,533
Think of Sheldon
when you apply it.
388
00:20:50,212 --> 00:20:55,212
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther