1 00:00:00,359 --> 00:00:01,672 Wait, I forgot! 2 00:00:01,969 --> 00:00:03,814 - Who the hell is pregnant? - What? 3 00:00:03,934 --> 00:00:06,762 I found a pregnancy test at your cabin and I checked with all the girls over there 4 00:00:07,096 --> 00:00:09,226 and wasn't any of them. 5 00:00:09,461 --> 00:00:11,591 Hello, darling, what a surprise. 6 00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:15,219 Hey. Can we talk? Maybe in private. 7 00:00:20,371 --> 00:00:21,212 You and me? 8 00:00:21,332 --> 00:00:23,475 I believe she's referring to me, son. 9 00:00:23,723 --> 00:00:26,290 - Please excuse us. - [Clears throat] 10 00:00:26,341 --> 00:00:30,477 So I...am pregnant. 11 00:00:31,679 --> 00:00:33,263 - [Chuckles] - I see. 12 00:00:33,298 --> 00:00:35,649 I don't understand how. We were so careful. 13 00:00:35,683 --> 00:00:37,034 I warned you about this. 14 00:00:37,068 --> 00:00:38,819 Standard birth control methods 15 00:00:38,853 --> 00:00:41,288 aren't usually effective against a Swanson. 16 00:00:41,306 --> 00:00:43,573 I got about a million thoughts running around in my head, 17 00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:47,461 but I really just want to know what you're thinking. 18 00:00:47,495 --> 00:00:51,131 Okay, here's what I'm thinking. 19 00:00:51,165 --> 00:00:52,950 I was gonna wait until our anniversary, 20 00:00:52,984 --> 00:00:55,752 take you somewhere romantic, perhaps in a canoe-- 21 00:00:55,803 --> 00:00:57,804 most likely in a canoe. 22 00:00:57,839 --> 00:01:00,207 I actually built a canoe for that purpose, 23 00:01:00,241 --> 00:01:03,126 but given the news, and given 24 00:01:03,161 --> 00:01:07,914 my significant feelings for you, 25 00:01:07,949 --> 00:01:09,800 now seems as good a time as any. 26 00:01:09,834 --> 00:01:12,152 Ron Swanson. 27 00:01:12,186 --> 00:01:16,323 Diane Lewis... 28 00:01:16,357 --> 00:01:19,159 will you marry me? 29 00:01:19,193 --> 00:01:21,261 Yes. 30 00:01:21,279 --> 00:01:23,330 - On one condition. - Anything, my love. 31 00:01:23,364 --> 00:01:24,731 Ask me for anything in the world, 32 00:01:24,749 --> 00:01:25,999 and I'll give it to you, 33 00:01:26,033 --> 00:01:27,901 except a destination wedding. 34 00:01:27,935 --> 00:01:30,904 Just the opposite. We've both been married before. 35 00:01:30,938 --> 00:01:33,106 I don't want anything big or elaborate. 36 00:01:33,124 --> 00:01:34,891 In fact, the smaller the better. 37 00:01:34,926 --> 00:01:36,376 I assume you can deal with that. 38 00:01:36,394 --> 00:01:37,728 Are you kidding? 39 00:01:37,779 --> 00:01:38,895 As far as I'm concerned, 40 00:01:38,946 --> 00:01:42,716 we could go up to the fourth floor right now. 41 00:01:44,218 --> 00:01:45,652 Well, hello there. 42 00:01:45,687 --> 00:01:47,437 Hey, Leslie. What's with the getup? 43 00:01:47,488 --> 00:01:49,528 We're coming back from cleaning up the Pawnee River. 44 00:01:49,540 --> 00:01:51,591 There's nothing I love more than squeegeeing slime 45 00:01:51,625 --> 00:01:52,592 off a highway underpass. 46 00:01:52,626 --> 00:01:54,094 Where are you guys going? 47 00:01:54,112 --> 00:01:55,829 The fourth floor, getting married. 48 00:01:55,863 --> 00:01:57,748 Okey-dokey. Well, catch you later. 49 00:01:57,799 --> 00:02:00,467 What? Wha-- [Gibberish] 50 00:02:00,501 --> 00:02:03,904 What--who's-- what the-- 51 00:02:03,938 --> 00:02:06,706 Are you dead? You look like you're in rictus. 52 00:02:06,724 --> 00:02:08,859 I just--I'm having so many thoughts and feelings 53 00:02:08,893 --> 00:02:10,810 that I'm paralyzed right now. 54 00:02:10,828 --> 00:02:12,112 Would you ladies like to come? 55 00:02:12,130 --> 00:02:14,381 - Can I be the best man? - Why not? Let's go. 56 00:02:14,415 --> 00:02:16,483 Ron is getting married, and I love him, 57 00:02:16,517 --> 00:02:18,618 and I care about him, and this is the greatest day ever, 58 00:02:18,653 --> 00:02:20,320 and I do not have time to talk about this! 59 00:02:20,338 --> 00:02:21,321 Wait! 60 00:02:21,339 --> 00:02:22,756 [Elevator bell dings] 61 00:02:22,790 --> 00:02:24,624 If you would just slow down a little, 62 00:02:24,642 --> 00:02:26,943 then I could arrange balloons or a flower cake 63 00:02:26,994 --> 00:02:28,578 - or a bouncy castle-- - Ah! 64 00:02:28,629 --> 00:02:29,913 Ethel Beavers, we would like 65 00:02:29,964 --> 00:02:31,998 a marriage license, please and thank you. 66 00:02:32,016 --> 00:02:33,466 What's the date of the wedding? 67 00:02:33,484 --> 00:02:35,402 - Today. - It's a bit unusual, 68 00:02:35,436 --> 00:02:37,371 - but we both-- - Don't care. 69 00:02:37,405 --> 00:02:40,507 Leslie Knope, would you please be my matron of honor? 70 00:02:40,525 --> 00:02:44,611 Diane, you have no idea what that means to me. 71 00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:45,846 She gets it. Let's go. 72 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,882 Well, this is like a waking nightmare... 73 00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,501 of happiness. I need to get some flowers. 74 00:02:51,536 --> 00:02:54,788 Why don't you hold this colorful bouquet of highlighters? 75 00:02:54,822 --> 00:02:56,890 Rice, I need to find some rice, I need to throw some rice. 76 00:02:56,924 --> 00:02:59,592 Why is there no rice in this municipal government building? 77 00:02:59,610 --> 00:03:01,611 I found a justice guy. These are the marrying people. 78 00:03:01,646 --> 00:03:02,963 - This is Carl. - Hello, Carl. 79 00:03:02,997 --> 00:03:04,637 My fiancee and I would like to get married 80 00:03:04,665 --> 00:03:05,882 right now, right here. 81 00:03:05,933 --> 00:03:07,813 Haven't I done a quickie wedding for you before? 82 00:03:07,819 --> 00:03:10,887 It's certainly possible, but this one's going to stick. 83 00:03:10,922 --> 00:03:13,123 I need your full names for the license. 84 00:03:13,157 --> 00:03:16,893 - Ronald Ulysses Swanson. - Diane Tammy Lewis. 85 00:03:16,944 --> 00:03:18,245 Tammy? 86 00:03:18,279 --> 00:03:20,747 - Your middle name is-- - Just kidding, it's Elizabeth. 87 00:03:20,781 --> 00:03:22,099 - Let's go, Carl. - Hey, hey. 88 00:03:22,133 --> 00:03:23,800 Let's pump the brakes, Carl, okay? 89 00:03:23,851 --> 00:03:26,736 Belay that order, Carl. Shortest possible ceremony. 90 00:03:26,788 --> 00:03:28,655 I'm tired of not being married to this woman. 91 00:03:28,689 --> 00:03:30,290 Do you, Ron Swanson, take Diane to be your wife? 92 00:03:30,324 --> 00:03:32,125 Ooh, it's going to start! Ooh, it's happening! 93 00:03:32,126 --> 00:03:33,176 - I certainly do. - Oh, my God! 94 00:03:33,227 --> 00:03:34,294 - And do you, Diane, take-- - Yes! 95 00:03:34,312 --> 00:03:35,579 - Yes, I do. - She said yes! 96 00:03:35,613 --> 00:03:36,896 - Okay. - Wait! 97 00:03:36,914 --> 00:03:39,032 - By the power vested in me-- - Before you-- 98 00:03:39,066 --> 00:03:40,333 Carl, just one second. 99 00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:41,918 I would just like to give a short speech, if I may. 100 00:03:41,969 --> 00:03:43,320 You have ten seconds. 101 00:03:43,354 --> 00:03:45,238 [Sighs] At first glance, it may seem 102 00:03:45,273 --> 00:03:48,208 as though Ron Swanson and I have nothing in common, 103 00:03:48,242 --> 00:03:50,076 but Webster's dictionary defines "friend--" 104 00:03:50,094 --> 00:03:51,211 - Time. - It's--ugh! 105 00:03:51,229 --> 00:03:52,596 Thank you, Leslie. 106 00:03:52,647 --> 00:03:53,897 I could tell where you were going with that, 107 00:03:53,931 --> 00:03:55,131 and it was gonna be beautiful. 108 00:03:55,149 --> 00:03:56,666 - I now pronounce you... - Oh! 109 00:03:56,701 --> 00:03:57,650 man and wife. 110 00:03:57,668 --> 00:03:59,619 Hooray! 111 00:03:59,637 --> 00:04:00,620 [Clapping] Yay! 112 00:04:00,638 --> 00:04:01,721 Great job, everyone. 113 00:04:01,756 --> 00:04:02,973 The reception will be held 114 00:04:03,024 --> 00:04:04,975 in each of our individual houses, alone. 115 00:04:05,026 --> 00:04:07,461 Pretend this is rice! 116 00:04:07,495 --> 00:04:10,497 [Sighs] That was beautiful. 117 00:04:10,531 --> 00:04:13,466 [Triumphant music] 118 00:04:13,484 --> 00:04:23,665 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 119 00:04:30,768 --> 00:04:32,802 The people who want to boot me from office 120 00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:34,704 have been viciously attacking me for weeks. 121 00:04:34,739 --> 00:04:37,491 All: Recall Knope! Recall Knope! 122 00:04:37,525 --> 00:04:39,125 Legalize weed! 123 00:04:39,159 --> 00:04:40,393 Last week, I was an answer 124 00:04:40,428 --> 00:04:42,295 in the Pawnee Journal's Crossword Puzzle. 125 00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:44,698 The clue--"Who's the worst," but you know what? 126 00:04:44,732 --> 00:04:46,082 We're fighting back. 127 00:04:46,133 --> 00:04:48,635 I've broken my defense initiative into 40 phases. 128 00:04:48,669 --> 00:04:52,956 We are currently in phase 26: "No problem too small." 129 00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:55,926 Anyone can come to me any time with any problem, 130 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,243 no matter how petty or small, 131 00:04:57,261 --> 00:05:00,564 and I will fix it personally, and let me tell you, 132 00:05:00,598 --> 00:05:03,133 some of these complaints are pretty damn petty and small. 133 00:05:03,167 --> 00:05:06,486 Okay, Gretel, how can I help you today? 134 00:05:06,504 --> 00:05:08,305 There are slugs everywhere on the sidewalk 135 00:05:08,339 --> 00:05:09,455 in front of my house. 136 00:05:09,473 --> 00:05:12,559 I want them gone but not killed--I love animals. 137 00:05:12,593 --> 00:05:14,361 But get rid of them. They're gross. 138 00:05:14,395 --> 00:05:17,830 But make sure they're happy but not too happy. 139 00:05:17,848 --> 00:05:22,903 Well, we're on it, because "No problem too small." 140 00:05:22,937 --> 00:05:24,170 So what now? 141 00:05:24,205 --> 00:05:25,622 Well, I have about 30 more people 142 00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:27,874 who want to come into my office and complain to my face. 143 00:05:27,908 --> 00:05:28,842 - Leslie Knope! - Oh! 144 00:05:28,876 --> 00:05:30,527 Ann Perkins. Mm. 145 00:05:30,561 --> 00:05:31,945 How's the recall fight going? 146 00:05:31,979 --> 00:05:33,113 This person-to-person campaigning 147 00:05:33,147 --> 00:05:34,581 is kind of wearing me down. 148 00:05:34,615 --> 00:05:36,383 Well, as a wise woman once said to me, 149 00:05:36,417 --> 00:05:40,053 "Ann, you cunning, pliable, chestnut-haired sunfish, 150 00:05:40,087 --> 00:05:41,805 phase 26 is the key to my plan." 151 00:05:41,856 --> 00:05:43,873 Good memory, sunfish. Let's press on. 152 00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:46,859 I have to come up with some solution for this slug problem. 153 00:05:46,877 --> 00:05:49,963 Someone has a slug infestation? 154 00:05:49,997 --> 00:05:51,932 Boy, oh, boy, we live interesting lives, 155 00:05:51,966 --> 00:05:53,433 filled with unexpected challenges. 156 00:05:53,451 --> 00:05:55,368 Life is precious, and every day 157 00:05:55,403 --> 00:05:58,421 is a miracle. 158 00:05:58,456 --> 00:06:01,625 Okay. 159 00:06:01,676 --> 00:06:03,009 What a freak. 160 00:06:03,043 --> 00:06:05,946 Things with me and Chris are going really well. 161 00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:08,481 We spend every day together, and we're having so much fun. 162 00:06:08,499 --> 00:06:11,468 And check this out. 163 00:06:12,670 --> 00:06:14,304 Oh, no, there's no ring. 164 00:06:14,338 --> 00:06:16,523 We just had manicures together recently. 165 00:06:16,557 --> 00:06:19,376 Sorry, that was misleading. 166 00:06:22,563 --> 00:06:24,848 Ah, Mr. Haverford, back again, I see. 167 00:06:24,882 --> 00:06:25,815 What the hell, man? 168 00:06:25,850 --> 00:06:26,833 This looks exactly like my store! 169 00:06:26,851 --> 00:06:28,001 I know. 170 00:06:28,019 --> 00:06:29,769 My client is a very determined businessman. 171 00:06:29,803 --> 00:06:31,454 When he rips someone off, he goes all the way. 172 00:06:31,489 --> 00:06:35,492 You see, you are Hydrox, Mr. Haverford. 173 00:06:35,543 --> 00:06:37,110 We are Oreo. 174 00:06:37,128 --> 00:06:39,245 Your mysterious, unnamed client 175 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:40,547 seems like a pretty intense guy. 176 00:06:40,581 --> 00:06:43,133 I am impressed by how quickly he was able to move 177 00:06:43,167 --> 00:06:45,135 such a large amount of merchandise. 178 00:06:45,169 --> 00:06:46,586 - Mm. - He must be 179 00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:49,139 one heck of a transporter. 180 00:06:49,173 --> 00:06:51,141 My client is not Jason Statham, 181 00:06:51,175 --> 00:06:52,225 if that's what you're thinking. 182 00:06:52,259 --> 00:06:54,561 Some mysterious big shot investor 183 00:06:54,595 --> 00:06:56,980 has opened up a store directly across the street 184 00:06:57,014 --> 00:06:58,974 from rent-a-swag to try to put me out of business. 185 00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:00,233 I'm not worried, though. 186 00:07:00,267 --> 00:07:02,402 I've poured my heart and soul into my store. 187 00:07:02,436 --> 00:07:04,321 I'm sure this guy's just looking for a place to store 188 00:07:04,355 --> 00:07:06,523 all his NBA championship trophies. 189 00:07:06,574 --> 00:07:09,175 - It's not Lebron James. - Damn. 190 00:07:09,210 --> 00:07:11,411 Well, I hate to say this, gang, 191 00:07:11,445 --> 00:07:14,280 but I don't think "No problem too small" is working. 192 00:07:14,314 --> 00:07:15,598 I mean, there's been no press coverage, 193 00:07:15,633 --> 00:07:17,033 no change in my poll numbers. 194 00:07:17,084 --> 00:07:19,919 I agree, we need something massive and attention-getting, 195 00:07:19,954 --> 00:07:21,838 something that will grab people by the ears, 196 00:07:21,872 --> 00:07:23,456 yell at them through a bullhorn, 197 00:07:23,490 --> 00:07:25,258 and hit them like a bolt of lightning. 198 00:07:25,292 --> 00:07:26,760 - I got it! - What is it? 199 00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,828 Oh, no, I just-- I got a fly. 200 00:07:28,846 --> 00:07:30,463 I have something. 201 00:07:30,497 --> 00:07:34,517 Remember phase 13, "Think outside of the box"? 202 00:07:34,552 --> 00:07:35,802 Of course. It was an amazing phase. 203 00:07:35,836 --> 00:07:37,270 Easily a top five phase. 204 00:07:37,304 --> 00:07:39,055 Well, I thought outside of the box, 205 00:07:39,106 --> 00:07:41,224 and I nominated you for this big award. 206 00:07:41,275 --> 00:07:42,508 It's called 207 00:07:42,526 --> 00:07:44,177 "The International Coalition of Women in Government," 208 00:07:44,195 --> 00:07:47,280 and you won. 209 00:07:47,314 --> 00:07:48,965 There's, like, five winners, 210 00:07:48,999 --> 00:07:50,479 and you get a big trophy or something. 211 00:07:50,484 --> 00:07:52,986 Oh, my God, this is real. I just assumed you were lying. 212 00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:55,455 Thank you, but yeah, it's real. 213 00:07:55,489 --> 00:07:58,524 Ann Richards won it once, and Janet Napolitano, I think. 214 00:07:58,542 --> 00:08:01,661 Janet Napoli-fraking-tano? Oh, my God. 215 00:08:01,695 --> 00:08:03,380 This is amazing and perfect. 216 00:08:03,414 --> 00:08:05,882 This is exactly the kind of big, splashy thing 217 00:08:05,916 --> 00:08:07,250 that's gonna get the voters' attention. 218 00:08:07,301 --> 00:08:08,334 When is the ceremony? 219 00:08:08,368 --> 00:08:11,704 - Next month...in London. - London? 220 00:08:11,722 --> 00:08:14,808 - London? - We're going to London? 221 00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:17,093 We're going to London, you guys! 222 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,769 I can't believe we're at Hogwarts! 223 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:25,671 No, that's Buckingham Palace. 224 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:28,757 Hogwarts is fictional. Do you know that? 225 00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,160 It's important to me that you know that. 226 00:08:31,194 --> 00:08:33,713 Okay, guys, we are going to be sightseeing today. 227 00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:35,147 Andy and Ben are gonna go to their meeting, 228 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,916 and then we're gonna go back to the hotel for lunch, 229 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:40,336 and I will spend the day getting to know London's history. 230 00:08:40,370 --> 00:08:43,739 History began on July 4, 1776. 231 00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:45,975 Everything before that was a mistake. 232 00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:50,780 Diane suggested we "tag along to London" for a honeymoon. 233 00:08:50,814 --> 00:08:53,082 I agreed, because my love for her 234 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:55,351 trumps my hatred for Europe. 235 00:08:55,385 --> 00:08:57,603 Then she hit a phase of morning sickness 236 00:08:57,638 --> 00:09:00,589 that knocked her for a loop and decided to stay home, 237 00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:05,144 but she insisted I go and take pictures for her. 238 00:09:05,195 --> 00:09:06,556 All of this could have been avoided 239 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,464 if we'd followed my plan for a honeymoon: 240 00:09:08,498 --> 00:09:09,798 a steak dinner, 241 00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,567 a glass of Lagavulin whiskey, 242 00:09:11,601 --> 00:09:13,986 then vigorous lovemaking for two hours, 243 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,122 and we're both asleep by 8:30. 244 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:17,556 Hey, Leslie, we're gonna head to the meeting. 245 00:09:17,607 --> 00:09:18,557 Are you okay? 246 00:09:18,608 --> 00:09:19,942 Yeah, I know it's weird, 247 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:22,294 but I kind of feel bad about leaving Pawnee. 248 00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,014 It's like leaving my kid at home without a babysitter. 249 00:09:25,048 --> 00:09:26,449 Leslie, you're in London. 250 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,968 You're 4,000 miles away from home. 251 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:32,171 - Try to enjoy this, okay? - Yeah, you're right, as usual. 252 00:09:32,222 --> 00:09:33,139 Good luck. 253 00:09:33,190 --> 00:09:34,140 [Hip-hop music] 254 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,093 Ooh, hey... 255 00:09:37,127 --> 00:09:39,679 boss man, I want to go home early. 256 00:09:39,730 --> 00:09:40,663 Ooh, hold on, actually. 257 00:09:40,697 --> 00:09:41,947 Hang on. Yeah, no. 258 00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:44,533 I want to quit and never come here again. 259 00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,118 [Laughs] Okay, bye. 260 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:47,970 I can't believe I used to date you! 261 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,105 Tommy Pickles! 262 00:09:49,139 --> 00:09:50,539 You see there's a better version 263 00:09:50,574 --> 00:09:52,058 of your store across the street? 264 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:55,111 And those guys are giving out free pizza with "papperonas." 265 00:09:55,145 --> 00:09:56,662 I know, man. That's my competition. 266 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,614 They're trying to put me out of business, and it's working. 267 00:09:58,648 --> 00:10:01,083 Three weeks ago, this place was hopping. 268 00:10:01,118 --> 00:10:02,735 My clothes were flying off the rack. 269 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,538 I was spreading swag around town like a killer swag virus. 270 00:10:05,589 --> 00:10:08,424 Now, look at this place. It's dead! 271 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:09,442 What am I gonna do? 272 00:10:09,493 --> 00:10:11,060 It's like I always say, okay? 273 00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,495 When life gives you lemons, 274 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,096 you sell some of your grandma's jewelry, 275 00:10:14,131 --> 00:10:15,164 and you go clubbing. 276 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,866 That's not a good piece of advice. 277 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:19,368 So I'ma throw up. I ate too much cheese. 278 00:10:19,403 --> 00:10:20,602 I'll talk to you! 279 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,355 [Sighs] I need some better friends. 280 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:26,442 So the only thing you did was stop drinking beer? 281 00:10:26,476 --> 00:10:28,711 Yeah, I lost 50 pounds in one month. 282 00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:30,296 How much beer were you drinking? 283 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,880 [Laughs] I know, right? 284 00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:33,566 Probably too much. 285 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,267 Andy and I are meeting with an English charity foundation 286 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:38,254 to expand our after-school music program, 287 00:10:38,288 --> 00:10:40,106 and British people love me. 288 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,124 There was this British kid in my high school 289 00:10:42,158 --> 00:10:43,709 who always called me "Big Ben" 290 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,695 and would punch me really hard on the arm, 291 00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:50,599 and go, "Bong! Bong! Bo--" 292 00:10:50,634 --> 00:10:52,518 Oh, he might have hated me. 293 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,203 Real quick, should I do a British accent? 294 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,939 - Um, I'm gonna say no. - You sure? 295 00:10:56,973 --> 00:10:58,257 - Yeah. - I can do one. 296 00:10:58,308 --> 00:11:00,276 It's not very good, but I think I could pull it off. 297 00:11:00,310 --> 00:11:01,977 I just feel like he's gonna get upset 298 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,879 when he finds out that we're American. 299 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:05,481 He knows we're American. 300 00:11:05,515 --> 00:11:07,366 Ugh, great. All right, well, 301 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,218 I guess we'll take the meeting anyway. 302 00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,586 [Bad British accent] After all, 303 00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:12,121 we did come all the way down under. 304 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:13,922 No. 305 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,826 Lord Covington, I'm Ben Wyatt. 306 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:21,514 This is Andy Dwyer, and it is an honor to meet you, sir. 307 00:11:21,565 --> 00:11:22,715 Well, it's nice to meet you too. 308 00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:25,334 However, the proper mode of address would be 309 00:11:25,368 --> 00:11:28,104 "Your Royal Excellency, Lord Edgar Darby Covington, 310 00:11:28,138 --> 00:11:30,372 "14th Earl of Cornwall-upon-Thames, 311 00:11:30,407 --> 00:11:33,809 29th Baron of Hertfordshire." 312 00:11:33,844 --> 00:11:35,394 No, no, no, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 313 00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,645 - Oh! - Please, call me Eddie. 314 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:38,581 Oh, thank God. [Laughter] 315 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,449 I knew that other name must have been a stupid joke. 316 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:41,783 - [Laughs] - Andy-- 317 00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,102 No, no, no, no, he's absolutely right, 318 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,704 it's an absurd name. 319 00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:49,592 Well, I'm excited to hear about your musical charity idea. 320 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,894 - Shall we? - Yeah. 321 00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:54,446 The Notting Hill bus tour starts at 2:00, 322 00:11:54,498 --> 00:11:56,832 the Love Actually bus tour starts at 2:30, 323 00:11:56,867 --> 00:12:00,269 and--oh, the Bridget Jones bus tour starts at 2:30 also. 324 00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:03,289 What do we do? Ron, your pick. 325 00:12:04,674 --> 00:12:08,310 Look, a clock. We don't have that in America. 326 00:12:08,344 --> 00:12:11,163 You call that a tower? 327 00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:13,265 Try the Sears Tower, friend. 328 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:15,301 "London at night." 329 00:12:15,352 --> 00:12:17,386 [Laughs] That is very funny. 330 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,387 Can I help you, sir? 331 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:21,307 Yes. I will take this. 332 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,292 We don't accept American currency, sir. 333 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:24,643 Of course you do. 334 00:12:24,694 --> 00:12:26,228 That's the most wonderful piece of paper in the world. 335 00:12:26,262 --> 00:12:27,229 Accept it. 336 00:12:27,263 --> 00:12:28,531 Very sorry, sir. 337 00:12:28,565 --> 00:12:30,049 Fine. 338 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,318 Enjoy the fact that your royal overlords 339 00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:35,487 are a frail, old woman and a tiny baby. 340 00:12:37,774 --> 00:12:38,716 [Sighs] 341 00:12:38,836 --> 00:12:40,356 You really think this will work, Donna? 342 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,343 Why wouldn't it? 343 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:42,578 We just pull the business license-- 344 00:12:42,612 --> 00:12:43,746 it's public information-- 345 00:12:43,780 --> 00:12:45,497 and then at least you'll have an address. 346 00:12:45,549 --> 00:12:47,633 Ooh, here. 347 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:50,186 Hmm, some kind of shady, fake shell corporation 348 00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:53,322 - called "Open 4 Business, LLC." - Thanks, Donna. 349 00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:55,641 Hey, if it's Akon and y'all become best friends, 350 00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:57,393 I want a ride on his plane. 351 00:12:57,427 --> 00:13:00,262 - Done and done. - Nice. 352 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,215 "1020 Maple Street." 353 00:13:05,335 --> 00:13:08,287 Ann and Chris? What are they doing here? 354 00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:12,958 Sir, you can't go in there! 355 00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:15,277 Aha! I caught you! 356 00:13:15,312 --> 00:13:18,314 - Hey, it's Tom! - What the hell are you doing? 357 00:13:18,348 --> 00:13:20,216 What am I doing? What are you doing here? 358 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:23,418 Dr. Saperstein is giving me a sonogram, 359 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:26,488 in his doctor's office, for women, because I'm pregnant! 360 00:13:26,523 --> 00:13:28,874 Oh, my God. 361 00:13:28,925 --> 00:13:30,976 - You're Jean-Ralphio's dad! - Mm-hmm. 362 00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,878 You're the one that's trying to put me out of business! 363 00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,196 Well, look at that, Mr. Haverford. 364 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,331 You tracked me down. 365 00:13:35,365 --> 00:13:37,466 Looks like your detective skills are a lot better 366 00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:40,802 than your tween, high-end fashion rental skills. 367 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,421 Ann, Chris, can we have the room, please? 368 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,006 No, you certainly cannot. 369 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:44,974 Dr. Saperstein, why are you doing this? 370 00:13:45,008 --> 00:13:46,141 What did I ever do to you? 371 00:13:46,176 --> 00:13:48,060 You know exactly why I'm doing this. 372 00:13:48,111 --> 00:13:49,828 You destroyed my family. 373 00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,880 First, you screwed my son out of your business, 374 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:54,300 and then you stole my daughter's virginity. 375 00:13:54,351 --> 00:13:58,820 [Laughter] 376 00:14:06,496 --> 00:14:08,080 Wait, you're serious? 377 00:14:08,131 --> 00:14:09,298 Deadly serious. 378 00:14:09,332 --> 00:14:11,466 According to my daughter, you broke her heart. 379 00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,385 Then you smashed up her BMW. 380 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,603 I had to buy her a new one, 381 00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:16,305 so she could drive to Divinity School. 382 00:14:16,339 --> 00:14:17,673 Let me tell you something, mister. 383 00:14:17,707 --> 00:14:20,726 You attack a Saperstein, you face my wrath. 384 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:23,112 Be so sure about this, Tiny Tom, 385 00:14:23,146 --> 00:14:26,298 that I will crush you like the bug you are... 386 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:27,599 [Heart beating] [Gasps] 387 00:14:27,651 --> 00:14:30,569 And there it is, the heartbeat. 388 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,504 - Ohh. - Everything sounds perfect. 389 00:14:32,555 --> 00:14:33,622 Ohh. 390 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,891 This is the moment we were dreaming of: 391 00:14:35,925 --> 00:14:39,078 you and me and our baby. 392 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:42,581 And Tom and his weird feud with our doctor. 393 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,316 So this after-school music program 394 00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,301 has been really successful in Pawnee, 395 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:49,154 and we've expanded it to eight other towns in Indiana, 396 00:14:49,205 --> 00:14:51,340 but we feel with your help, we can-- 397 00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:53,676 Whoa! Are those-- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 398 00:14:53,710 --> 00:14:54,927 Are those remote control helicopters? 399 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,445 - Yeah. - What? 400 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,197 I got them as a gift. 401 00:14:58,248 --> 00:15:00,316 I bought them for one of my nephews, 402 00:15:00,350 --> 00:15:01,616 - and then I decided to keep them. - Yeah. 403 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:02,617 Would you like to play with them? 404 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,419 Oh, would I? I call blue one! 405 00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:05,938 I call the-- oh. 406 00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,356 Okay, you get the blue one. 407 00:15:07,390 --> 00:15:09,358 Andy, we are guests of Lord Covington. 408 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,427 Maybe you should let him... 409 00:15:11,461 --> 00:15:12,845 play with the blue helicopter. 410 00:15:12,896 --> 00:15:14,263 What are you talking about, dude? 411 00:15:14,297 --> 00:15:16,198 - I called it. - He called it. 412 00:15:16,232 --> 00:15:17,700 - That's the rule. - That's the rule. 413 00:15:17,734 --> 00:15:19,201 Anyway, the orange one's better. 414 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,169 - What? - Come on. 415 00:15:20,203 --> 00:15:21,637 [Helicopters buzzing] Aah! 416 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:22,654 [Laughs] 417 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:26,158 Hey, get off! 418 00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:27,676 Okay, watch out! Watch out! 419 00:15:27,711 --> 00:15:28,677 - Agh! - Ohh! 420 00:15:28,712 --> 00:15:30,813 Dude, awesome. I think I broke mine! 421 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,015 - Oh, bummer. - So, like, you... 422 00:15:33,049 --> 00:15:34,900 your family owns all this stuff? 423 00:15:34,951 --> 00:15:36,452 Well, no, not everything. 424 00:15:36,486 --> 00:15:39,221 We own that building, 425 00:15:39,255 --> 00:15:42,307 that one, that house, that round thing, 426 00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:43,942 that one. 427 00:15:43,993 --> 00:15:45,527 We don't own that. 428 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,662 Oh, no, actually, we do own that. 429 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,415 What else does your family own? 430 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:52,134 Well, um, have you heard of Scotland? 431 00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:53,402 As I was saying, 432 00:15:53,436 --> 00:15:55,537 we've really made this music program work 433 00:15:55,571 --> 00:15:57,339 in Indiana, and we think, 434 00:15:57,374 --> 00:16:00,175 with your help, we could turn this 435 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,843 into a wide-reaching international program. 436 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,112 Oh, you know what I want? 437 00:16:03,146 --> 00:16:04,780 Ice cream. Do you guys have that here, ice cream? 438 00:16:04,814 --> 00:16:06,165 Oh, it's so good. You have to get it. 439 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:08,367 It's, like, scoops, and it comes on a cone. 440 00:16:08,418 --> 00:16:09,585 - Yeah. - Do you have that here? 441 00:16:09,619 --> 00:16:10,786 - We have it. Of course we-- - You have it? 442 00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:11,837 Where do you think you are, the moon? 443 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:12,921 [Both laugh] 444 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:15,524 - That'd be awesome if we were. - Yeah. 445 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,759 Can we get some? Could we... 446 00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:20,362 do--could we have some? 447 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:21,363 Could we? 448 00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:23,399 Sure. 449 00:16:23,433 --> 00:16:25,067 [Laughter] Yeah. 450 00:16:25,101 --> 00:16:27,286 - Let's go. - Just what do I do with this? 451 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,571 Just throw it there. Roger will pick it up. 452 00:16:29,605 --> 00:16:31,273 Oh. 453 00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,625 "So I long for a day 454 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,610 "when women in government will simply be seen 455 00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:38,080 "as people in government, but until then, 456 00:16:38,114 --> 00:16:40,632 "I will work to make Pawnee, my wonderful hometown, 457 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,050 as good as it can be." 458 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:43,218 What do you think? 459 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,487 I think you should lose the first line 460 00:16:45,522 --> 00:16:47,723 and the last line and all of the other lines, 461 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,142 and instead, just walk up to the mic 462 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:53,145 and meow really loudly for eight minutes. 463 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,597 Okay, this trip is amazing, 464 00:16:55,631 --> 00:16:57,599 but I miss Pawnee, you know? 465 00:16:57,633 --> 00:16:59,134 I want to know what's happening there. 466 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:02,438 One little news blast wouldn't hurt. 467 00:17:02,472 --> 00:17:03,605 [Upbeat music] 468 00:17:03,639 --> 00:17:05,474 Welcome to The Final Word With Perd. 469 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:07,342 Ms. Pinewood, there is a thing you are doing, 470 00:17:07,377 --> 00:17:09,778 and that thing is you are leading a recall vote 471 00:17:09,812 --> 00:17:12,581 against Councilwoman Knope, and you say you have 472 00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,666 new, shocking allegations about her. 473 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,452 What? What now? 474 00:17:16,486 --> 00:17:18,170 Perd, I take no pleasure in reporting this, 475 00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,755 but it must come to light. 476 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,341 We are here, trying to make Pawnee better, 477 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,460 and where is Leslie Knope? 478 00:17:24,494 --> 00:17:28,497 She's gallivanting around Europe like some kind of European. 479 00:17:28,531 --> 00:17:30,299 How--how did they get that picture so... 480 00:17:30,333 --> 00:17:31,300 Facebook. 481 00:17:31,334 --> 00:17:32,434 - But I just put-- - Facebook. 482 00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:34,520 - But isn't it a-- - Facebook. 483 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,189 Apparently, she can't be bothered to stay here in Pawnee, 484 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:40,142 not when there's Europe to gallivant around in. 485 00:17:40,176 --> 00:17:41,143 Well, we conducted 486 00:17:41,177 --> 00:17:43,512 a Perd poll and asked this question: 487 00:17:49,018 --> 00:17:51,820 48% said she should not be in Europe, 488 00:17:51,854 --> 00:17:53,639 17% say it's okay, 489 00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:54,973 and 35% said 490 00:17:55,008 --> 00:17:57,859 they were confused by the way the question was posed. 491 00:17:57,877 --> 00:17:59,694 Oh, my God. 492 00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:02,742 You're leaving tonight? 493 00:18:02,862 --> 00:18:04,111 I can't believe there's even a flight? 494 00:18:04,231 --> 00:18:05,670 Well, not to Indiana, 495 00:18:05,790 --> 00:18:07,124 but there's a 9:00 red-eye to Lisbon, 496 00:18:07,158 --> 00:18:08,726 and then I can catch the 4:30 A.M. 497 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,209 back to Edinburgh, connect through Houston, 498 00:18:11,329 --> 00:18:13,089 head on up to Cincinnati and then rent a car, 499 00:18:13,178 --> 00:18:13,885 drive around 90, 500 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:15,326 and I'll be home two hours earlier 501 00:18:15,336 --> 00:18:18,438 than if I flew home as planned. Easy breezy! 502 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,706 Leslie, I can't believe I'm saying this, 503 00:18:19,740 --> 00:18:22,425 but I do not think you should leave Europe right now. 504 00:18:22,460 --> 00:18:25,028 You flew all this way. Have some perspective. 505 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,363 You have some perspective! 506 00:18:27,414 --> 00:18:29,045 I'm sorry. 507 00:18:29,165 --> 00:18:30,784 Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm stressed. 508 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,152 Okay, I need to calm down. 509 00:18:32,186 --> 00:18:34,103 Let's go walk past Colin Firth's house again. 510 00:18:34,105 --> 00:18:36,156 Ugh, who is that? 511 00:18:36,190 --> 00:18:38,508 Hold up. My dad said that? 512 00:18:38,559 --> 00:18:39,526 Yeah, Jean-Ralphio. 513 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,528 He told me that I had screwed you 514 00:18:42,546 --> 00:18:43,913 - out of my business... - What? 515 00:18:43,964 --> 00:18:45,265 So he was gonna screw me back. 516 00:18:45,299 --> 00:18:47,267 Any idea why he'd believe such a thing? 517 00:18:47,301 --> 00:18:49,068 That is so weird. 518 00:18:49,102 --> 00:18:51,371 That is so-- oh, you know what? 519 00:18:51,405 --> 00:18:54,057 Honestly, now that I'm thinking about it, this may be it. 520 00:18:54,108 --> 00:18:56,609 I actually told him that Rent-A-Swag was my idea 521 00:18:56,644 --> 00:18:59,078 and that you had stole it from me. 522 00:18:59,112 --> 00:19:00,046 Why would you say that? 523 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,848 Because my dad is always riding me 524 00:19:01,882 --> 00:19:03,266 for never having a job, 525 00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:04,851 and I just didn't want to show that I blew it again. 526 00:19:04,869 --> 00:19:07,987 Oh...and I don't know if this is relevant... 527 00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:09,122 - Hmm. - But I told him 528 00:19:09,156 --> 00:19:10,507 that you made me sign up 529 00:19:10,558 --> 00:19:12,692 for a bunch of credit cards and then max them out 530 00:19:12,726 --> 00:19:15,361 by buying illegal white jaguar fur coats. 531 00:19:15,395 --> 00:19:16,963 [Laughing] That's probably not relevant, though. 532 00:19:16,997 --> 00:19:17,914 It's probably not relevant, though. 533 00:19:17,965 --> 00:19:18,965 - I don't know-- - I guess-- 534 00:19:18,999 --> 00:19:21,868 All this lying about me stops now! 535 00:19:21,902 --> 00:19:23,636 Both: Hmm. - This is my life. 536 00:19:23,671 --> 00:19:25,839 Please, one of you has to tell him the truth. 537 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:26,806 - Not it! - Not it! 538 00:19:26,841 --> 00:19:28,942 Ooh, you got me! Whoa ho! 539 00:19:28,976 --> 00:19:30,026 Uh-oh, uh-oh! 540 00:19:30,060 --> 00:19:32,245 Both: Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. - Uh-oh. 541 00:19:32,279 --> 00:19:34,080 Okay, fine. You know what? 542 00:19:34,098 --> 00:19:35,698 I'm gonna do the unthinkable. 543 00:19:35,733 --> 00:19:37,150 I'm gonna have a short, 544 00:19:37,184 --> 00:19:39,452 honest conversation with my father. 545 00:19:39,486 --> 00:19:40,954 Thank you. 546 00:19:40,988 --> 00:19:44,641 [Jazz music] 547 00:19:44,675 --> 00:19:45,975 ♪ 548 00:19:46,026 --> 00:19:48,027 [Cheers and applause] 549 00:19:48,045 --> 00:19:50,013 Oh, that's a big cheering section. 550 00:19:50,047 --> 00:19:52,482 Okay, that's Khongordzol, from Mongolia. 551 00:19:52,516 --> 00:19:55,785 She grew up in a hut that was entirely made of ice and mud, 552 00:19:55,836 --> 00:19:58,288 then she became their mayor, then their police chief 553 00:19:58,339 --> 00:20:00,106 and their best Wolverine Wrangler. 554 00:20:00,140 --> 00:20:02,358 I love her. 555 00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:05,245 Oh, hi. You must be Leslie Knope. 556 00:20:05,279 --> 00:20:06,846 I'm Ulee Danssen. I'm one of the honorees. 557 00:20:06,881 --> 00:20:09,232 Wow, look at your face. 558 00:20:09,266 --> 00:20:10,733 What? 559 00:20:10,784 --> 00:20:13,286 - It's just so symmetrical. - Oh, thanks! 560 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:14,837 You know, we all have that in Denmark. 561 00:20:14,889 --> 00:20:16,439 Oh, you're from Denmark, of course. 562 00:20:16,473 --> 00:20:17,774 Wow, what part of Denmark are you from? 563 00:20:17,808 --> 00:20:19,359 I'm from Silkeborg. You know. 564 00:20:19,393 --> 00:20:21,494 It's not one of the most perfect places in the world, 565 00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:24,063 but I love it, and it loves me. 566 00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:25,815 And look what they've done for me. 567 00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:27,984 - They made a statue of you! - Yes. 568 00:20:28,035 --> 00:20:30,336 Wow. Is that goat cheese? 569 00:20:30,371 --> 00:20:31,554 Good cheese eye, Leslie. 570 00:20:31,589 --> 00:20:32,838 It is made out of goat cheese. 571 00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:35,074 We have a lot of it, and after tonight's event, 572 00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:37,794 they're going to consume me with crackers. 573 00:20:37,828 --> 00:20:41,681 They just love me. What about your town? 574 00:20:41,715 --> 00:20:43,449 Well, Pawnee, Indiana, 575 00:20:43,484 --> 00:20:45,234 is a wonderful town, 576 00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:46,836 and I love it, but they hate me. 577 00:20:46,887 --> 00:20:48,388 And they're trying to kick me out of office. 578 00:20:48,422 --> 00:20:51,658 One time, they made a pinata of my face, 579 00:20:51,692 --> 00:20:53,053 and then everybody in the town came 580 00:20:53,060 --> 00:20:54,711 and took turns hitting it with a stick, 581 00:20:54,762 --> 00:20:56,629 and they filled it with broccoli, 582 00:20:56,647 --> 00:20:58,064 just to add insult to injury... 583 00:20:58,098 --> 00:20:59,816 [Laughter] but politics... 584 00:20:59,850 --> 00:21:01,034 you know what I mean, right? 585 00:21:01,068 --> 00:21:03,286 I don't, no. 586 00:21:03,337 --> 00:21:04,637 [Laughter] 587 00:21:06,540 --> 00:21:08,191 So you're from Mongolia? 588 00:21:08,242 --> 00:21:09,776 [Speaking Mongolian] 589 00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,878 Will you take me with you when you go back there? 590 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:13,846 I love you. 591 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,064 Hmm. 592 00:21:15,099 --> 00:21:17,734 Did you understand that? 593 00:21:17,785 --> 00:21:19,535 Did you bring any wolverines? 594 00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:22,889 [Laughter] 595 00:21:22,923 --> 00:21:24,474 Say it again. Say it again. 596 00:21:24,508 --> 00:21:26,142 Alu-min-ium. 597 00:21:26,193 --> 00:21:27,527 - [Laughing hysterically] - Okay, okay. 598 00:21:27,561 --> 00:21:28,962 You say it. You say it. You say it. 599 00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:30,129 It's "alumilum." 600 00:21:30,163 --> 00:21:31,464 - "Alumilum"? - Okay. 601 00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:33,149 - Alumilum! - Uh, Eddie... 602 00:21:33,183 --> 00:21:35,318 if you'd like me to talk more about the program, 603 00:21:35,352 --> 00:21:37,286 - I would be happy to... - Mm-hmm. 604 00:21:37,321 --> 00:21:39,956 But my wife is receiving an award in just a few minutes, 605 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:40,940 and I really need to get over there. 606 00:21:40,975 --> 00:21:41,941 Yes, of course. 607 00:21:41,976 --> 00:21:44,811 The thing is, 608 00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,829 I don't know what I'm doing. 609 00:21:46,864 --> 00:21:48,131 - Me neither. - I'm sorry? 610 00:21:48,165 --> 00:21:50,633 My family has a huge amount of money. 611 00:21:50,668 --> 00:21:54,320 We live in a castle that has 1,000 acres of land. 612 00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:56,673 Our hedge maze is so vast, 613 00:21:56,707 --> 00:21:59,125 once, I got lost in there for two days. 614 00:21:59,159 --> 00:22:00,292 What? That's awesome. 615 00:22:00,310 --> 00:22:01,594 It was awesome. 616 00:22:01,628 --> 00:22:03,646 There was a statue of a lion inside, 617 00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:05,331 and I found a yo-yo. 618 00:22:05,366 --> 00:22:06,582 Well, do you-- do you have it here? 619 00:22:06,633 --> 00:22:08,501 - Guys-- - The point is, 620 00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:11,387 I started this foundation in order to do something good 621 00:22:11,438 --> 00:22:12,739 with our money, 622 00:22:12,773 --> 00:22:15,324 and I've heard hundreds of charity pitches, 623 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:19,429 and I honestly don't know whether they're good or bad. 624 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:23,116 If I may, ours... is great. 625 00:22:23,150 --> 00:22:25,084 Brilliant! I'm in. 626 00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:27,286 What? Are you serious? 627 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,839 Yeah. I like you, I like music. 628 00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:31,224 On one condition: 629 00:22:31,258 --> 00:22:33,860 I want you to stay here in London with me 630 00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:36,279 for no more than three months, 631 00:22:36,330 --> 00:22:38,214 to help me get it up and running 632 00:22:38,265 --> 00:22:40,049 and tell me what to do. 633 00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:41,768 Oh, well, that actually may be tough. 634 00:22:41,802 --> 00:22:43,069 I mean, my wife is in the middle 635 00:22:43,103 --> 00:22:44,337 of this recall fight, and I really need to-- 636 00:22:44,371 --> 00:22:47,874 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, I meant Andy. 637 00:22:47,908 --> 00:22:51,844 I want Andy to stay. 638 00:22:51,862 --> 00:22:55,614 Is that a goose that just flew by the window? 639 00:22:55,632 --> 00:22:58,885 Oh, it's a plastic bag. Did you see that? 640 00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:01,087 Wait, did I interrupt? 641 00:23:01,121 --> 00:23:02,105 What are you guys talking about? 642 00:23:02,156 --> 00:23:03,406 Let's see if it was a goose. 643 00:23:03,457 --> 00:23:06,242 I think it could have been, honest to God. 644 00:23:06,293 --> 00:23:08,160 Silkeborg is wonderful, 645 00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:10,629 and I am very supported and loved. 646 00:23:10,647 --> 00:23:12,231 Once, on my birthday, the town 647 00:23:12,265 --> 00:23:14,667 trained a reindeer to do a dance for me. 648 00:23:14,701 --> 00:23:18,838 It was beautiful, and the reindeer was delicious. 649 00:23:18,856 --> 00:23:21,190 [Applause] 650 00:23:21,241 --> 00:23:22,875 - Hey. - Hey! 651 00:23:22,910 --> 00:23:24,443 [Kiss] How was your meeting? 652 00:23:24,461 --> 00:23:27,130 Good. I'll fill you in later. 653 00:23:27,181 --> 00:23:28,214 Are you ready for your speech? 654 00:23:28,248 --> 00:23:30,547 Uh...yeah. Yeah. 655 00:23:30,667 --> 00:23:31,637 Thank you, Ulee. 656 00:23:31,757 --> 00:23:36,089 It is so inspiring to hear stories of powerful women 657 00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:38,808 who are held in high esteem by their hometowns. 658 00:23:38,859 --> 00:23:41,360 Now, from the hometown of Pawnee, Indiana, 659 00:23:41,378 --> 00:23:43,546 in the United States, 660 00:23:43,597 --> 00:23:44,630 Leslie Knope. 661 00:23:44,664 --> 00:23:49,118 [Applause] 662 00:23:51,572 --> 00:23:53,956 First let me say, 663 00:23:54,007 --> 00:23:56,375 it is a true honor to be here among these amazing women. 664 00:23:56,393 --> 00:23:59,328 You all inspire me with your accomplishments 665 00:23:59,363 --> 00:24:01,948 and the things you have done for your hometowns 666 00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:04,183 and the things your hometowns have done for you. 667 00:24:04,201 --> 00:24:07,286 I mean, they're just truly... 668 00:24:09,306 --> 00:24:11,924 You know, I've been a public servant for a long time. 669 00:24:11,958 --> 00:24:14,527 And you know how I spend my days? 670 00:24:14,561 --> 00:24:16,896 Cleaning slime out of rivers 671 00:24:16,930 --> 00:24:20,166 and removing slugs from people's front yards. 672 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,552 And I love my town, but you know how they repay me? 673 00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:24,303 By hating me. 674 00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:26,589 They hate me. They want to recall me. 675 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,108 I wish I could move to Silkeborg 676 00:24:29,143 --> 00:24:30,977 and dance with a reindeer. 677 00:24:31,011 --> 00:24:32,178 You're always welcome in Silkeborg! 678 00:24:32,196 --> 00:24:35,347 Olga, let's start a statue of Leslie. 679 00:24:35,365 --> 00:24:37,116 See? They like me in Silkeborg 680 00:24:37,151 --> 00:24:39,485 more than my own hometown, and I've never even been there. 681 00:24:39,519 --> 00:24:42,955 I love Pawnee, but sometimes it sucks. 682 00:24:42,990 --> 00:24:44,991 The people can be very mean and ungrateful, 683 00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:46,125 and they cling 684 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:49,996 to their fried dough and their big sodas, 685 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:52,798 and then they get mad at me when their pants don't fit. 686 00:24:52,833 --> 00:24:54,366 You know, I'm sick of it. 687 00:24:54,384 --> 00:24:58,171 Pawnee is filled with a bunch of pee-pee-heads. 688 00:24:59,423 --> 00:25:00,756 Thank you very much for this amazing award. 689 00:25:00,807 --> 00:25:01,757 I'm sorry I said "pee-pee-heads." 690 00:25:01,808 --> 00:25:02,758 [Laughs] 691 00:25:02,809 --> 00:25:06,012 [Applause] Whoo! 692 00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:07,730 That's my boss! 693 00:25:09,866 --> 00:25:12,232 That speech was a little rough, don't you think? 694 00:25:12,352 --> 00:25:14,313 Whatever, it's how I feel. 695 00:25:14,553 --> 00:25:16,221 Stupid, ungrateful town. 696 00:25:16,341 --> 00:25:17,872 Plus, you said it yourself: 697 00:25:17,907 --> 00:25:19,290 We're 4,000 miles away. 698 00:25:19,324 --> 00:25:22,427 [Cell phone chiming] 699 00:25:22,461 --> 00:25:24,779 - Hello. - Leslie, it's Jerry. 700 00:25:24,830 --> 00:25:26,030 Jerry who? 701 00:25:26,064 --> 00:25:27,198 Gergich. 702 00:25:27,216 --> 00:25:28,383 Jer--oh, Jerry. 703 00:25:28,417 --> 00:25:29,918 Jerry, why are you calling me? 704 00:25:29,952 --> 00:25:31,803 I don't want to waste my international minutes. 705 00:25:31,837 --> 00:25:35,356 Leslie, your speech was webcast, here in Pawnee. 706 00:25:35,391 --> 00:25:36,741 Everyone saw it. 707 00:25:36,759 --> 00:25:38,509 What do you mean, "everyone"? 708 00:25:38,544 --> 00:25:40,678 I had organized a big viewing party, 709 00:25:40,712 --> 00:25:41,746 you know, to support you, 710 00:25:41,780 --> 00:25:43,314 and, well, now that Kathryn Pinewood lady, 711 00:25:43,332 --> 00:25:44,549 she's already pounced. 712 00:25:44,583 --> 00:25:47,602 She's calling it the... "Pee-pee-head" speech. 713 00:25:47,636 --> 00:25:49,487 - Bloody hell, Jerry! - So how's Lond-- 714 00:25:49,521 --> 00:25:50,939 [Phone beeps] 715 00:25:50,990 --> 00:25:53,191 I just never thought that I would get 716 00:25:53,225 --> 00:25:54,726 to make this announcement. 717 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,927 It's a very special day. 718 00:25:56,946 --> 00:25:57,996 Okay. 719 00:25:58,030 --> 00:26:00,048 Hi, Donna. 720 00:26:00,082 --> 00:26:01,099 So... 721 00:26:01,133 --> 00:26:02,100 You're pregnant. 722 00:26:02,134 --> 00:26:04,068 Oh, man, Tom told you. 723 00:26:04,103 --> 00:26:05,036 Nope. 724 00:26:05,070 --> 00:26:06,454 You're drinking decaf coffee, 725 00:26:06,505 --> 00:26:08,185 which you usually only do in the afternoon, 726 00:26:08,207 --> 00:26:09,674 you're wearing an empire-waist dress 727 00:26:09,708 --> 00:26:12,377 and loose shoes 'cause your feet are already swelling. 728 00:26:12,411 --> 00:26:14,412 I'd put you at nine, maybe ten weeks. 729 00:26:14,446 --> 00:26:15,847 My goodness, you're observant. 730 00:26:15,881 --> 00:26:17,682 Yes, I am. Yes, I am. 731 00:26:17,716 --> 00:26:21,502 Hmm. When did you make the switch to boxer briefs? 732 00:26:21,537 --> 00:26:23,921 Yesterday. 733 00:26:23,955 --> 00:26:26,691 Okay, please stop looking at him. 734 00:26:26,725 --> 00:26:29,060 Why are we here? 735 00:26:29,094 --> 00:26:31,212 Just thought you needed some fresh air, 736 00:26:31,246 --> 00:26:33,214 even if that air is filled with the foul stench 737 00:26:33,265 --> 00:26:35,500 of European socialism. 738 00:26:35,534 --> 00:26:37,869 You know, I know I am supposed to feel bad 739 00:26:37,903 --> 00:26:40,805 about what I said, but I do not. 740 00:26:40,839 --> 00:26:42,940 Pawnee has really been pissing me off lately. 741 00:26:42,975 --> 00:26:45,410 Leslie, for God's sake, you're the adult here. 742 00:26:45,444 --> 00:26:47,378 When your kid screams "I hate you," 743 00:26:47,412 --> 00:26:50,181 you don't sink to his level and yell "I hate you" back. 744 00:26:50,215 --> 00:26:51,816 You have to be the grown-up. 745 00:26:51,850 --> 00:26:53,284 [Sighs] You're right. I know. 746 00:26:53,318 --> 00:26:54,869 I have to be the grown-up. 747 00:26:54,903 --> 00:26:57,855 [Whining] But it's so hard! Ron! 748 00:26:57,890 --> 00:26:59,324 God! 749 00:26:59,358 --> 00:27:01,275 And nobody ever thanks you. 750 00:27:01,327 --> 00:27:02,827 You choose a thankless job, 751 00:27:02,845 --> 00:27:04,846 you can't be upset when nobody thanks you. 752 00:27:04,897 --> 00:27:07,231 And by the way, April thanked you. 753 00:27:07,265 --> 00:27:09,233 She nominated you for this award. 754 00:27:09,267 --> 00:27:10,535 Well, April does that all the time. 755 00:27:10,569 --> 00:27:13,388 She nominated Ann for Motocross Driver of the Year award 756 00:27:13,439 --> 00:27:15,139 just so she could get a rejection letter. 757 00:27:15,173 --> 00:27:16,858 April respects you, 758 00:27:16,909 --> 00:27:19,711 and so do many others. 759 00:27:19,745 --> 00:27:21,829 Don't start chasing applause and acclaim. 760 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,315 That way lies madness. 761 00:27:24,350 --> 00:27:26,017 [Sighs] 762 00:27:26,051 --> 00:27:27,985 Oh, I almost forgot. 763 00:27:28,019 --> 00:27:30,988 I finally got you a proper wedding gift, 764 00:27:31,006 --> 00:27:32,807 part one of many. 765 00:27:32,841 --> 00:27:34,525 A train ticket? 766 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,911 You think I want to extend my stay 767 00:27:36,945 --> 00:27:38,579 on this godforsaken continent? 768 00:27:38,614 --> 00:27:40,048 Yes, you do. 769 00:27:40,082 --> 00:27:42,266 If you follow that itinerary to the letter, 770 00:27:42,301 --> 00:27:45,453 I promise you, you will not be disappointed. 771 00:27:45,487 --> 00:27:47,705 Well, I would offer to buy you a drink, 772 00:27:47,740 --> 00:27:49,140 but where the hell would that even happen? 773 00:27:49,174 --> 00:27:50,992 This is London, Ron. 774 00:27:51,026 --> 00:27:53,728 There's a pub over there, there's a pub over there, 775 00:27:53,779 --> 00:27:54,979 there's a pub between those two butcher shops. 776 00:27:54,997 --> 00:27:56,381 Let's go to that one, 777 00:27:56,415 --> 00:27:59,967 but we'll be stopping in those two butcher shops first. 778 00:28:00,002 --> 00:28:01,436 Hey, Jerry. 779 00:28:01,470 --> 00:28:03,354 I didn't know you were working today. 780 00:28:03,388 --> 00:28:05,268 Yeah, Ron asked me to come in while he's away. 781 00:28:05,290 --> 00:28:07,608 Of course, I had to cancel my cardiologist appoint-- 782 00:28:07,643 --> 00:28:09,093 That's great. 783 00:28:09,127 --> 00:28:10,762 Now, here's a piece of information that is interesting. 784 00:28:10,796 --> 00:28:13,448 Ann is pregnant, and it's my baby. 785 00:28:13,499 --> 00:28:15,450 Oh, my God, that's wonderful news! 786 00:28:15,501 --> 00:28:17,218 Oh, there's so much in front of you. 787 00:28:17,252 --> 00:28:18,669 I mean, soon you're gonna start showing, 788 00:28:18,687 --> 00:28:20,471 and then your clothes will feel tight, and then, 789 00:28:20,505 --> 00:28:24,492 oh, people are gonna start rubbing your tummy all the time! 790 00:28:24,526 --> 00:28:26,244 [Laughs] That sounds terrible. 791 00:28:26,278 --> 00:28:28,229 Well, Gayle, she got really queasy, 792 00:28:28,263 --> 00:28:30,098 and I gained a lot of sympathy weight. 793 00:28:30,149 --> 00:28:32,817 Yeah. You know, actually, before my kids, 794 00:28:32,851 --> 00:28:34,102 I looked a lot like you, Chris. 795 00:28:34,136 --> 00:28:36,454 I'm very sad. Please stop talking. 796 00:28:36,488 --> 00:28:38,423 And, of course, pretty soon, Ann, 797 00:28:38,457 --> 00:28:40,308 your milk is gonna come in. 798 00:28:40,359 --> 00:28:42,743 - Ohh. - That is exciting. 799 00:28:42,778 --> 00:28:43,861 Mmm. 800 00:28:43,895 --> 00:28:47,381 [Gulping] 801 00:28:47,433 --> 00:28:49,383 Yep, and it happens sooner than you'd think. 802 00:28:49,435 --> 00:28:50,634 The babies can sense it. 803 00:28:50,652 --> 00:28:51,936 You would be shocked, 804 00:28:51,970 --> 00:28:54,372 'cause they are rooting around for that nipple. 805 00:28:54,406 --> 00:28:56,090 [Smacking lips] Mm, mm. Gimme, gimme. Mm, mm, mm. 806 00:28:56,125 --> 00:28:58,476 I want milk! Mm, mm, mm, mm. Ohh. 807 00:28:58,510 --> 00:29:00,194 Life is a miracle. 808 00:29:00,229 --> 00:29:02,163 Mm, mm, mm. 809 00:29:02,197 --> 00:29:04,749 So it's kind of awesome that the Lord Fancyface Guy 810 00:29:04,783 --> 00:29:06,100 wants you to stay. 811 00:29:06,135 --> 00:29:07,185 Yeah, I guess. 812 00:29:07,219 --> 00:29:09,053 I mean, I can't do it, obviously. 813 00:29:09,071 --> 00:29:10,605 Why? 814 00:29:10,656 --> 00:29:12,623 I don't even know what I would be doing. 815 00:29:12,657 --> 00:29:13,841 I mean, besides, this is England. 816 00:29:13,876 --> 00:29:16,627 Everything is so weird. It's all different. 817 00:29:16,661 --> 00:29:19,130 Yeah, like how they drive on the other side of the road. 818 00:29:19,164 --> 00:29:20,181 Do they? 819 00:29:20,215 --> 00:29:22,200 I'll be damned. 820 00:29:22,234 --> 00:29:23,985 Yeah, like that. 821 00:29:24,036 --> 00:29:26,037 That's what I'm-- exactly what I'm talking about. 822 00:29:26,071 --> 00:29:27,238 Or like the Piccadilly Circus we went to? 823 00:29:27,256 --> 00:29:28,539 Not even a circus. 824 00:29:28,573 --> 00:29:31,142 There's no elephants, there was no cotton candy, 825 00:29:31,176 --> 00:29:33,261 there's no clowns. 826 00:29:33,312 --> 00:29:34,512 One bearded lady. 827 00:29:34,546 --> 00:29:36,230 She got all rude when I marveled at her. 828 00:29:36,265 --> 00:29:38,783 Do you like the Lord Fancyface Guy? 829 00:29:38,817 --> 00:29:39,951 Oh, he's awesome. 830 00:29:39,985 --> 00:29:41,202 He's everything you would want in a boss. 831 00:29:41,253 --> 00:29:44,255 I mean, remote control helicopters, talks funny. 832 00:29:44,289 --> 00:29:45,540 Total package. 833 00:29:45,591 --> 00:29:47,124 I think you should do it. 834 00:29:47,142 --> 00:29:49,293 When are you gonna have another opportunity like this? 835 00:29:49,311 --> 00:29:50,294 - I mean-- - And, plus, 836 00:29:50,312 --> 00:29:51,795 we can deal with the distance, okay? 837 00:29:51,813 --> 00:29:54,682 Remember, I was in Washington last year. 838 00:29:54,733 --> 00:29:56,483 He said he wanted me to head up the company. 839 00:29:56,487 --> 00:29:58,802 I have no idea how to run a nonprofit. 840 00:29:58,820 --> 00:30:00,304 Hey. 841 00:30:00,322 --> 00:30:01,472 You shined shoes 842 00:30:01,490 --> 00:30:04,859 for over two years and never made a profit. 843 00:30:05,861 --> 00:30:08,279 Come on, you can hack this. 844 00:30:08,313 --> 00:30:11,148 I believe in you. 845 00:30:11,166 --> 00:30:13,084 But to replace you, I am going to have to build 846 00:30:13,118 --> 00:30:15,953 a scarecrow replica of you and take it to the movies. 847 00:30:15,987 --> 00:30:18,956 Seems like the only logical solution. 848 00:30:25,222 --> 00:30:27,489 My point is, Ethel, that 849 00:30:28,244 --> 00:30:29,136 Ann's pregnant. 850 00:30:29,569 --> 00:30:31,170 And I'm the baby daddy! 851 00:30:31,290 --> 00:30:32,874 How wonderful for you. 852 00:30:32,994 --> 00:30:34,712 You don't seem very excited for us. 853 00:30:34,746 --> 00:30:36,430 I barely know you, 854 00:30:36,464 --> 00:30:38,102 and I don't have 855 00:30:38,222 --> 00:30:41,952 to talk to you unless it's about work. 856 00:30:41,987 --> 00:30:43,828 Man, I thought this would be more satisfying. 857 00:30:43,838 --> 00:30:45,389 I agree. 858 00:30:45,423 --> 00:30:47,441 Wait a minute, what time is it? 859 00:30:47,475 --> 00:30:49,793 Has she landed yet? 860 00:30:49,828 --> 00:30:51,948 Oh, I'm so happy for you guys! 861 00:30:52,068 --> 00:30:55,170 Ohh, this is the greatest day in the history of days. 862 00:30:55,204 --> 00:30:56,372 This day, a thousand years from now, 863 00:30:56,406 --> 00:30:57,906 will be celebrated as the beginning 864 00:30:57,941 --> 00:30:59,908 of a new and better human race. 865 00:30:59,942 --> 00:31:01,210 I am so happy for you, I'm never letting you go. 866 00:31:01,244 --> 00:31:02,454 I am not gonna let you go. 867 00:31:02,574 --> 00:31:03,656 Oh, oh, oh, eventually, 868 00:31:03,776 --> 00:31:05,005 she's going to have to go back to work. 869 00:31:05,070 --> 00:31:06,287 Are you sure you should be working? 870 00:31:06,321 --> 00:31:08,556 I mean, you should be resting and getting fluids and-- 871 00:31:08,590 --> 00:31:10,591 and cold compresses and greasy foods. 872 00:31:10,642 --> 00:31:11,893 That's for a hangover. 873 00:31:11,944 --> 00:31:12,865 Right, yeah, of course. 874 00:31:12,895 --> 00:31:13,935 I'm so goofed-up right now. 875 00:31:13,946 --> 00:31:14,996 I'm so jet-lagged. 876 00:31:15,030 --> 00:31:16,330 I took a sleeping pill on the plane, 877 00:31:16,381 --> 00:31:17,665 and then I changed my mind, 878 00:31:17,716 --> 00:31:19,183 so I took this thing called "Zapvigil," 879 00:31:19,218 --> 00:31:20,601 which, apparently, is what 880 00:31:20,652 --> 00:31:22,403 Israeli fighter pilots use to stay awake. 881 00:31:22,437 --> 00:31:25,590 So right now, it looks like I'm talking to a giant crab. 882 00:31:25,624 --> 00:31:26,874 Stay away from me, crab! 883 00:31:26,925 --> 00:31:28,159 [Laughter] I'm just kidding. 884 00:31:28,177 --> 00:31:29,293 I know it's Ann. 885 00:31:29,328 --> 00:31:31,062 We are so glad you're back. 886 00:31:31,096 --> 00:31:33,030 We talked to, like, 50 people, and, frankly, 887 00:31:33,064 --> 00:31:34,031 not one of them gave us 888 00:31:34,065 --> 00:31:35,249 the reaction that we were hoping for. 889 00:31:35,300 --> 00:31:36,434 And your reaction, 890 00:31:36,468 --> 00:31:38,102 from someone we love so much, 891 00:31:38,136 --> 00:31:40,021 I mean, it just makes up for all the other ones. 892 00:31:40,072 --> 00:31:41,739 - Ohh. - Anyway, welcome home! 893 00:31:41,757 --> 00:31:43,141 Don't pinch me! 894 00:31:43,175 --> 00:31:45,610 Thank you all for coming, and let me just say 895 00:31:45,644 --> 00:31:48,362 how truly, deeply trill it is 896 00:31:48,397 --> 00:31:51,949 to be standing in this dope-ass conference room, 897 00:31:51,984 --> 00:31:52,984 addressing a group of people in a business meeting. 898 00:31:53,018 --> 00:31:54,318 It's really a dream come true. 899 00:31:54,353 --> 00:31:57,588 Right now, I want to turn the floor over to Jean-Ralphio, 900 00:31:57,623 --> 00:31:59,807 who has something to say. 901 00:32:03,145 --> 00:32:05,997 Tom, lawyer guy... 902 00:32:06,031 --> 00:32:07,715 daddy... 903 00:32:07,766 --> 00:32:09,684 Tom did not screw me out of the company. 904 00:32:09,718 --> 00:32:11,736 He gave me every opportunity to jump in 905 00:32:11,770 --> 00:32:14,155 at the ground floor, and I said no, 906 00:32:14,206 --> 00:32:16,040 not because I thought it was a bad idea, 907 00:32:16,074 --> 00:32:19,110 but because-- and this is very important-- 908 00:32:19,144 --> 00:32:22,213 I really didn't care about what was happening. 909 00:32:22,247 --> 00:32:24,682 So why, exactly, did you lie 910 00:32:24,716 --> 00:32:26,234 when I asked you what had happened? 911 00:32:26,268 --> 00:32:29,320 Daddy-D! Daddy, come on, I lie to you all the time! 912 00:32:29,354 --> 00:32:31,088 All those math camps I said I went to? 913 00:32:31,122 --> 00:32:33,641 I don't even know what a math camp is! 914 00:32:33,675 --> 00:32:36,194 So all those postcards that you sent me, 915 00:32:36,228 --> 00:32:38,412 all those trophies that you'd won... 916 00:32:38,447 --> 00:32:42,800 ♪ Trophies I bought 917 00:32:42,818 --> 00:32:43,935 [Giggles] 918 00:32:43,969 --> 00:32:45,987 I also have something to say. [Sighs] 919 00:32:46,038 --> 00:32:48,839 I have done nothing wrong, 920 00:32:48,874 --> 00:32:51,108 ever, in my life. 921 00:32:51,143 --> 00:32:53,311 I know this... 922 00:32:53,345 --> 00:32:54,662 and I love you. 923 00:32:54,696 --> 00:32:56,080 I love you too, daddy. 924 00:32:56,114 --> 00:32:58,049 Money, please! 925 00:32:58,083 --> 00:32:59,767 My money. 926 00:32:59,801 --> 00:33:03,153 Dr. Saperstein, your son is my best friend. 927 00:33:03,171 --> 00:33:04,571 - Yeah. - He's like a brother to me. 928 00:33:04,590 --> 00:33:06,090 But he's a disaster, 929 00:33:06,124 --> 00:33:08,726 and your daughter seriously needs to be locked up 930 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:10,228 in some sort of insane asylum. 931 00:33:10,262 --> 00:33:11,746 - Mm. - On an island... 932 00:33:11,780 --> 00:33:13,030 - Ooh. - In space. 933 00:33:13,064 --> 00:33:14,532 ♪ Hold on [Laughs] 934 00:33:14,566 --> 00:33:18,452 These two have been huge disappointments to me. 935 00:33:18,487 --> 00:33:20,438 Come on, you love us. 936 00:33:20,472 --> 00:33:23,157 Tell me you love us, and then admit this guy 937 00:33:23,208 --> 00:33:24,492 looks like Beaker from the Muppets. 938 00:33:24,543 --> 00:33:26,543 [Laughter] Dad! 939 00:33:26,561 --> 00:33:28,145 [High-pitched] Me, me, me, me, me, me, me! 940 00:33:28,180 --> 00:33:30,064 But seriously, what are we doing here, though? 941 00:33:30,098 --> 00:33:31,148 - What are we doing here, dad? - Like, what is this? 942 00:33:31,166 --> 00:33:32,483 - Why are we here? - So... 943 00:33:32,501 --> 00:33:34,669 [Shouts] So... 944 00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:35,886 now you know the truth. 945 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:37,054 Will you back off? 946 00:33:37,088 --> 00:33:38,656 No, I will not stop. 947 00:33:38,690 --> 00:33:41,826 Yes, this all started as vengeance for my children, 948 00:33:41,860 --> 00:33:44,295 but the company is making money now. 949 00:33:44,313 --> 00:33:46,273 Why would I back off just 'cause these nincompoops 950 00:33:46,298 --> 00:33:47,982 lie to me all the time? 951 00:33:48,033 --> 00:33:50,201 No, I'm not gonna back off. 952 00:33:50,235 --> 00:33:53,154 I'm gonna continue, and I'm gonna crush you! 953 00:33:53,188 --> 00:33:55,106 All right, you two, 954 00:33:55,140 --> 00:33:56,580 are you in for dinner tomorrow night? 955 00:33:56,608 --> 00:33:58,276 - Yes! - Yes, daddy. 956 00:33:58,310 --> 00:33:59,293 Huh? Blow me a kiss. 957 00:33:59,328 --> 00:34:00,378 Both: Mwah! 958 00:34:00,412 --> 00:34:01,462 - Mwah. - Caught it. 959 00:34:01,513 --> 00:34:02,463 I love you, daddy! 960 00:34:02,497 --> 00:34:03,681 - Me too. - I love you, daddy! 961 00:34:03,715 --> 00:34:06,317 Hey, are you gonna be okay with Andy gone? 962 00:34:06,351 --> 00:34:07,952 Yeah, we'll be fine. 963 00:34:07,986 --> 00:34:10,087 Are you gonna be okay with Ben still here? 964 00:34:10,122 --> 00:34:11,138 - April... - What? 965 00:34:11,173 --> 00:34:13,274 I don't trust him. I never have. 966 00:34:13,308 --> 00:34:15,776 - He's after your money. - Hey, Gretel! 967 00:34:15,811 --> 00:34:18,362 Hello, it's me, City Councilwoman Leslie Knope. 968 00:34:18,380 --> 00:34:20,965 And me, Odie the dog, Garfield's enemy. 969 00:34:20,999 --> 00:34:23,768 Now, we have some great news: we were in London, 970 00:34:23,802 --> 00:34:26,437 and we met a wonderful woman from Mongolia. 971 00:34:26,471 --> 00:34:27,751 Yeah, her name was Khongordzol, 972 00:34:27,772 --> 00:34:29,790 and I love her more than anything in the world. 973 00:34:29,825 --> 00:34:32,927 Khongordzol and... Odie, here, were emailing, 974 00:34:32,978 --> 00:34:35,730 and she recommended a very humane way 975 00:34:35,781 --> 00:34:37,147 to get rid of slugs. 976 00:34:37,165 --> 00:34:39,500 You sprinkle coffee grounds on the affected area, 977 00:34:39,551 --> 00:34:42,520 and it drives the slugs away. Isn't that great? 978 00:34:42,554 --> 00:34:44,355 I didn't want all the slugs gone. 979 00:34:44,389 --> 00:34:45,890 I wanted most of them gone! 980 00:34:45,924 --> 00:34:48,492 Sorry. Well, we'll put one slug back. 981 00:34:48,527 --> 00:34:50,828 Either way, your problem is solved. 982 00:34:50,862 --> 00:34:52,630 Oh, my God, that lady is the worst. 983 00:34:52,664 --> 00:34:54,715 She didn't even say thank you. 984 00:34:54,766 --> 00:34:56,500 That's not why we do this, April. 985 00:34:56,518 --> 00:34:58,359 We do it because it's good and it helps people, 986 00:34:58,387 --> 00:34:59,804 not to get the applause. 987 00:34:59,838 --> 00:35:01,322 Yeah, but doesn't that bum you out? 988 00:35:01,356 --> 00:35:03,491 Well, sure, it would be nice if just one person 989 00:35:03,525 --> 00:35:06,810 appreciated my work, at all. 990 00:35:06,828 --> 00:35:08,245 But that's the job-- 991 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,982 wiping slime and shoveling slugs. 992 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,985 All right. On to the next complaint. 993 00:35:15,003 --> 00:35:19,323 [Indistinct P.A. announcement] 994 00:35:25,547 --> 00:35:29,166 [Train horn blows] 995 00:35:29,184 --> 00:35:32,853 Where the hell are you sending me, Knope? 996 00:35:36,556 --> 00:35:37,782 Morning, cutie. 997 00:35:37,902 --> 00:35:39,123 Morning, Jessica. 998 00:35:39,157 --> 00:35:39,825 Whoa. 999 00:35:39,945 --> 00:35:42,079 These were a gift from your British friend, 1000 00:35:42,199 --> 00:35:43,503 Lord Edgar Covington. 1001 00:35:43,615 --> 00:35:45,372 He was very impressed with you two. 1002 00:35:45,492 --> 00:35:47,577 He sounded rich on the phone. 1003 00:35:47,611 --> 00:35:50,763 I think he was calling me from a helicopter. 1004 00:35:50,798 --> 00:35:52,115 Could be. He owns two. 1005 00:35:52,149 --> 00:35:53,449 [Sighs blissfully] 1006 00:35:53,484 --> 00:35:55,318 So Andy's gonna stay there for three months. 1007 00:35:55,352 --> 00:35:56,619 I hope he's okay. 1008 00:35:56,654 --> 00:35:57,887 He sent me an email this morning. 1009 00:35:57,921 --> 00:35:59,347 I guess he got on the wrong train 1010 00:35:59,467 --> 00:36:01,741 on the way to work and got lost. 1011 00:36:01,792 --> 00:36:04,127 Yeah, this isn't right. 1012 00:36:04,161 --> 00:36:07,096 None of this looks familiar. 1013 00:36:08,982 --> 00:36:11,284 Eddie? 1014 00:36:11,335 --> 00:36:13,086 Uh-oh, Spaghettios. 1015 00:36:13,137 --> 00:36:15,269 Oh, don't worry, I'm sure he'll adjust. 1016 00:36:15,389 --> 00:36:17,691 No, I named that dog Spaghettios, 1017 00:36:17,742 --> 00:36:19,309 and he just pooped in your briefcase. 1018 00:36:19,343 --> 00:36:21,244 [Laughing] Oh, my. Okay. 1019 00:36:21,278 --> 00:36:22,879 Come on, Sugarbutt! 1020 00:36:22,913 --> 00:36:24,397 Oh, which one's Sugarbutt? 1021 00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:26,282 That's you! Come on. 1022 00:36:26,317 --> 00:36:28,184 We got a board meeting, Sugarbutt. 1023 00:36:28,304 --> 00:36:28,951 [Laughs] 1024 00:36:28,969 --> 00:36:31,671 Wildly inappropriate. 1025 00:36:31,722 --> 00:36:33,573 Do you think there's any chance your dad will give up? 1026 00:36:33,607 --> 00:36:34,574 I doubt it. 1027 00:36:34,625 --> 00:36:36,126 He never gives up on anything, 1028 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:37,260 except for my mom. 1029 00:36:37,294 --> 00:36:40,096 When she turned 30, he was like, "Get out!" 1030 00:36:40,114 --> 00:36:42,816 [Sighs] Maybe I should just throw in the towel. 1031 00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:44,501 Your dad'll destroy me. I'll be left with nothing. 1032 00:36:44,535 --> 00:36:46,503 Thought I was a better-looking version of Zuckerberg. 1033 00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:49,172 Turns out I'm the better-looking version of the Winklevoss twins. 1034 00:36:49,206 --> 00:36:51,274 First of all, unbelievable analogy. 1035 00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:52,776 Second of all, what are you talking about, man? 1036 00:36:52,810 --> 00:36:55,128 You're Tommy Haverford! You're an idea man. 1037 00:36:55,162 --> 00:36:56,613 When Babyface was your age, 1038 00:36:56,647 --> 00:36:58,281 he hadn't even signed Toni Braxton yet, 1039 00:36:58,315 --> 00:37:00,600 let alone Usher. 1040 00:37:00,634 --> 00:37:03,553 You're right. I mean, I'm basically Babyface. 1041 00:37:03,571 --> 00:37:05,238 You're basically Babyface! 1042 00:37:05,289 --> 00:37:08,458 Okay, I'm gonna keep going, and I'm gonna beat your dad. 1043 00:37:08,492 --> 00:37:10,176 That's what I'm talking about! 1044 00:37:10,227 --> 00:37:12,128 And for me, it's a win-win either way. 1045 00:37:12,163 --> 00:37:14,197 Either my best friend emerges triumphant, 1046 00:37:14,231 --> 00:37:17,550 or my dad beats you, and I get all that money when he dies. 1047 00:37:17,585 --> 00:37:18,518 I'm actually getting dinner with my dad right now. 1048 00:37:18,569 --> 00:37:20,436 - You want to come? - No! 1049 00:37:20,454 --> 00:37:22,672 [Sighs] I mean, this is all 1050 00:37:22,706 --> 00:37:24,891 pretty overwhelming, you know? 1051 00:37:24,925 --> 00:37:26,776 You know what I just read? 1052 00:37:26,811 --> 00:37:30,547 Right now, our baby is the size of a green olive. 1053 00:37:30,581 --> 00:37:32,732 - [Chuckles] - Isn't that wild? 1054 00:37:32,767 --> 00:37:33,983 It is. 1055 00:37:34,018 --> 00:37:36,236 A green olive. 1056 00:37:36,287 --> 00:37:37,921 A little high in sodium. 1057 00:37:37,955 --> 00:37:39,672 I would have preferred a chickpea or a cherry tomato. 1058 00:37:39,723 --> 00:37:42,091 - Our baby's not a salad. - Yes, right. 1059 00:37:42,109 --> 00:37:44,427 It's just weird, you know? 1060 00:37:44,462 --> 00:37:48,198 I mean, for so long, this little green olive 1061 00:37:48,232 --> 00:37:49,949 was just our thing, 1062 00:37:49,984 --> 00:37:51,885 and now it's everyone's thing. 1063 00:37:51,919 --> 00:37:53,836 Every time Jerry looks at me, 1064 00:37:53,854 --> 00:37:56,573 he's thinking about... the milk in my boobs. 1065 00:37:56,607 --> 00:37:59,993 It's still just our thing. 1066 00:38:00,044 --> 00:38:03,012 It'll always be just our thing. 1067 00:38:03,046 --> 00:38:06,282 That's why it's so wonderful and why we'll love it so much. 1068 00:38:10,588 --> 00:38:13,189 You know, Olive's kind of a cute name, if it's a girl. 1069 00:38:13,224 --> 00:38:14,657 I prefer "Chickpea." 1070 00:38:14,692 --> 00:38:15,775 Because it's lower in sodium? 1071 00:38:15,826 --> 00:38:18,094 - Yes, exactly. - Okay. 1072 00:38:20,097 --> 00:38:22,098 - Hey. - Hey. 1073 00:38:22,132 --> 00:38:23,533 Are you leaving? 1074 00:38:23,567 --> 00:38:25,568 Well, I just have to get a jump start on my next phase. 1075 00:38:25,603 --> 00:38:29,906 Let's see, it is "48-Hour Roadkill Scrape-athon." 1076 00:38:29,924 --> 00:38:31,257 Oh, brother. 1077 00:38:31,292 --> 00:38:33,676 Okay, well, before you go, I have something for you. 1078 00:38:33,710 --> 00:38:35,528 I feel like you're getting sad 1079 00:38:35,563 --> 00:38:37,997 about how stupid and lame people are, 1080 00:38:38,032 --> 00:38:40,800 and that is my job, not yours. 1081 00:38:40,851 --> 00:38:44,354 So I'm gonna read this letter to you, out loud, 1082 00:38:44,388 --> 00:38:45,738 but if you hug me afterwards, 1083 00:38:45,789 --> 00:38:47,090 I swear to God, I'll scream 1084 00:38:47,124 --> 00:38:49,342 and pull my hair out and maybe punch you in the face. 1085 00:38:49,376 --> 00:38:51,261 - Okay? - Okay. 1086 00:38:51,295 --> 00:38:53,530 Please sit. 1087 00:38:53,564 --> 00:38:54,864 [Clears throat] 1088 00:38:54,882 --> 00:38:56,633 "Dear award committee members..." 1089 00:38:56,667 --> 00:38:57,717 [Sobbing] 1090 00:38:57,768 --> 00:39:00,103 Leslie, I didn't even start. 1091 00:39:00,137 --> 00:39:01,487 Okay, I'm sorry. 1092 00:39:01,522 --> 00:39:02,856 Go ahead. 1093 00:39:02,907 --> 00:39:04,157 "Dear award committee members, 1094 00:39:04,191 --> 00:39:07,243 "where I live, there are a lot of apathetic people, 1095 00:39:07,277 --> 00:39:09,378 "people who don't care at all about what they do 1096 00:39:09,396 --> 00:39:10,513 "or how they do it. 1097 00:39:10,547 --> 00:39:12,182 "They let the world wash over them 1098 00:39:12,216 --> 00:39:14,184 "and barely notice anyone else is even there. 1099 00:39:14,218 --> 00:39:17,153 "Leslie Knope is not one of these people. 1100 00:39:17,171 --> 00:39:21,057 "She cares about everything and everyone in our town. 1101 00:39:21,091 --> 00:39:22,392 "I don't know how she does it. 1102 00:39:22,426 --> 00:39:24,444 "People come to her with the pettiest, 1103 00:39:24,478 --> 00:39:25,812 "stupidest problems, 1104 00:39:25,863 --> 00:39:28,531 "and she cares-- like, really, actually cares-- 1105 00:39:28,566 --> 00:39:29,816 "what happens to them. 1106 00:39:29,850 --> 00:39:32,468 "And if you're lucky enough to be her friend, 1107 00:39:32,502 --> 00:39:35,555 "your life gets better every day. 1108 00:39:35,606 --> 00:39:37,523 "She spends every waking moment thinking 1109 00:39:37,575 --> 00:39:39,909 "of new ways to make her friends happy. 1110 00:39:39,943 --> 00:39:42,128 "There is something wonderful about seeing someone 1111 00:39:42,162 --> 00:39:43,913 "who has found her true purpose on earth. 1112 00:39:43,931 --> 00:39:46,582 "For some people, I guess that's being an astronaut 1113 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,968 "or a hot dog-eating champion. 1114 00:39:49,019 --> 00:39:52,889 "For Leslie, her true purpose on earth, her true meaning, 1115 00:39:52,923 --> 00:39:56,425 "is making people's lives better. 1116 00:39:56,443 --> 00:39:58,528 "That's what I love about her, 1117 00:39:58,562 --> 00:40:02,732 "and that's why she deserves this award. 1118 00:40:02,766 --> 00:40:03,900 "Sincerely... 1119 00:40:03,934 --> 00:40:05,735 Satan." 1120 00:40:05,769 --> 00:40:07,487 You're getting hugged right now. 1121 00:40:07,538 --> 00:40:08,771 No, I told you not to. 1122 00:40:08,789 --> 00:40:11,241 - I'm giving you a hug. - No! Stay away! No! 1123 00:40:13,221 --> 00:40:15,761 All my life I've avoided Europe 1124 00:40:15,881 --> 00:40:18,423 and its multitudes of terribleness. 1125 00:40:18,543 --> 00:40:21,061 But it turns out, much to my surprise, 1126 00:40:21,095 --> 00:40:23,230 there is actually one place in Europe 1127 00:40:23,264 --> 00:40:25,816 that is worth seeing: 1128 00:40:25,850 --> 00:40:28,936 these tiny islands off the coast of Scotland, 1129 00:40:28,970 --> 00:40:31,605 where God's chosen elixirs are distilled, 1130 00:40:31,656 --> 00:40:33,790 barreled, and prepared for consumption. 1131 00:40:33,825 --> 00:40:37,778 This is worth the trip. 1132 00:40:37,829 --> 00:40:40,030 "Dear Ron, 1133 00:40:40,064 --> 00:40:41,999 "you have now reached the cliffsides 1134 00:40:42,033 --> 00:40:43,750 "overlooking the islands. 1135 00:40:43,785 --> 00:40:46,920 "As you sit here and gaze upon the waters, 1136 00:40:46,955 --> 00:40:49,122 "please read out loud the poem 1137 00:40:49,173 --> 00:40:51,306 "by the great Scotsman Robert Burns. 1138 00:40:51,426 --> 00:40:52,916 Love, Leslie." 1139 00:40:54,679 --> 00:40:57,717 "Oh, were my love yon lilac fair, 1140 00:40:57,844 --> 00:41:00,596 "with purple blossoms to the spring, 1141 00:41:00,631 --> 00:41:03,799 "and I, a bird to shelter there, 1142 00:41:03,850 --> 00:41:06,686 "when wearied on my little wing, 1143 00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:09,689 "how I would mourn when it was torn 1144 00:41:09,723 --> 00:41:12,925 "by autumn wild and winter rude, 1145 00:41:12,943 --> 00:41:16,062 "but I would sing on wanton wing, 1146 00:41:16,096 --> 00:41:19,765 when youthful may its bloom renewed." 1147 00:41:19,885 --> 00:41:25,752 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 1148 00:41:25,872 --> 00:41:28,958 I don't know what she thought I'd get out of that. 1149 00:41:31,295 --> 00:41:33,746 - Nice to be home. - It is. 1150 00:41:33,780 --> 00:41:36,415 But I mean, I love Pawnee, I will always love Pawnee, 1151 00:41:36,449 --> 00:41:37,833 but London is amazing. 1152 00:41:37,884 --> 00:41:40,670 And Silkeborg sounds amazing, 1153 00:41:40,721 --> 00:41:42,421 and Mongolia sounds amazing. 1154 00:41:42,455 --> 00:41:44,840 Their mayor is a professional Wolverine Wrangler. 1155 00:41:44,891 --> 00:41:46,625 Fine, Mongolia sounds terrifying, 1156 00:41:46,643 --> 00:41:48,344 but the world is a very big place, 1157 00:41:48,395 --> 00:41:50,179 and I've seen very little of it. 1158 00:41:50,230 --> 00:41:53,649 Maybe we should travel more, expand our horizons. 1159 00:41:53,684 --> 00:41:55,851 You know, I've had the same kinds of thoughts. 1160 00:41:55,902 --> 00:41:58,804 We should keep that in mind, see where it leads us. 1161 00:41:58,822 --> 00:42:00,139 Yeah. 1162 00:42:00,157 --> 00:42:01,440 Oh, there's one more thing I want to try. 1163 00:42:01,474 --> 00:42:02,441 Mm. 1164 00:42:02,475 --> 00:42:03,976 I got you something in London: 1165 00:42:03,994 --> 00:42:05,695 a traditional barrister's wig. 1166 00:42:05,746 --> 00:42:08,197 - Oh. - Wear it for me. 1167 00:42:08,248 --> 00:42:09,999 - Yeah? - Mm-hmm. 1168 00:42:10,033 --> 00:42:11,984 All right. 1169 00:42:15,172 --> 00:42:16,272 [Seductively] What's up? 1170 00:42:16,306 --> 00:42:17,957 No, not sexy. 1171 00:42:17,991 --> 00:42:18,987 Failed experiment. Take it off. 1172 00:42:19,107 --> 00:42:20,787 - Okay, just--okay. - Just take it off. No.