1
00:00:01,750 --> 00:00:03,166
Wait, I forgot!
2
00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:05,217
- Who the hell is pregnant?
- What?
3
00:00:05,250 --> 00:00:08,469
I found a pregnancy test at your cabin
and I checked with all the girls over there
4
00:00:08,493 --> 00:00:10,623
and wasn't any of them.
5
00:00:11,101 --> 00:00:13,151
Hello, darling, what a surprise.
6
00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:14,434
Hey.
7
00:00:14,498 --> 00:00:16,896
Can we talk? Maybe in private.
8
00:00:22,169 --> 00:00:23,164
You and me?
9
00:00:23,192 --> 00:00:25,501
I believe
she's referring to me, son.
10
00:00:25,571 --> 00:00:27,794
- Please excuse us.
- [Clears throat]
11
00:00:28,164 --> 00:00:30,604
So I...
12
00:00:30,648 --> 00:00:32,120
am pregnant.
13
00:00:33,152 --> 00:00:34,483
[Chuckles]
14
00:00:34,495 --> 00:00:35,138
I see.
15
00:00:35,164 --> 00:00:37,586
I don't understand how.
We were so careful.
16
00:00:37,627 --> 00:00:38,978
I warned you about this.
17
00:00:39,012 --> 00:00:42,871
Standard birth control methods aren't
usually effective against a Swanson.
18
00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:45,705
I got about a million thoughts
running around in my head,
19
00:00:45,798 --> 00:00:48,699
but I really just want to
know what you're thinking.
20
00:00:49,921 --> 00:00:52,340
Okay, here's what I'm thinking.
21
00:00:53,410 --> 00:00:56,715
I was gonna wait until our anniversary,
take you somewhere romantic,
22
00:00:56,741 --> 00:00:59,926
perhaps in a canoe--
most likely in a canoe.
23
00:01:00,178 --> 00:01:02,762
I actually built a canoe
for that purpose,
24
00:01:02,786 --> 00:01:09,872
but given the news, and given my
significant feelings for you,
25
00:01:10,388 --> 00:01:12,576
now seems as good a time
as any.
26
00:01:12,857 --> 00:01:14,938
Ron Swanson.
27
00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:17,210
Diane Lewis...
28
00:01:19,342 --> 00:01:21,229
will you marry me?
29
00:01:21,814 --> 00:01:23,365
Yes.
30
00:01:23,814 --> 00:01:26,024
- On one condition.
- Anything, my love.
31
00:01:26,049 --> 00:01:28,872
Ask me for anything in the
world, and I'll give it to you,
32
00:01:28,974 --> 00:01:30,805
except a destination wedding.
33
00:01:30,819 --> 00:01:32,519
Just the opposite.
34
00:01:32,544 --> 00:01:36,086
We've both been married before. I
don't want anything big or elaborate.
35
00:01:36,109 --> 00:01:37,876
In fact,
the smaller the better.
36
00:01:37,999 --> 00:01:40,718
- I assume you can deal with that.
- Are you kidding?
37
00:01:40,877 --> 00:01:44,829
As far as I'm concerned, we could go
up to the fourth floor right now.
38
00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:48,879
Well, hello there.
39
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,700
Hey, Leslie.
What's with the getup?
40
00:01:50,715 --> 00:01:52,695
We're coming back from
cleaning up the Pawnee River.
41
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:56,039
There's nothing I love more than
squeegeeing slime off a highway underpass.
42
00:01:56,102 --> 00:01:57,102
Where are you guys going?
43
00:01:57,113 --> 00:01:59,027
The fourth floor,
getting married.
44
00:01:59,051 --> 00:02:00,936
Okey-dokey.
Well, catch you later.
45
00:02:01,180 --> 00:02:03,947
What? Wha--
[Gibberish]
46
00:02:04,010 --> 00:02:06,546
What--who's--
what the--
47
00:02:07,852 --> 00:02:10,152
Are you dead? You look
like you're in rictus.
48
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:14,473
I just--I'm having so many thoughts and
feelings that I'm paralyzed right now.
49
00:02:14,523 --> 00:02:15,807
Would you ladies like to come?
50
00:02:15,850 --> 00:02:18,101
- Can I be the best man?
- Why not? Let's go.
51
00:02:18,135 --> 00:02:20,152
Ron is getting married,
and I love him,
52
00:02:20,168 --> 00:02:22,298
and I care about him, and this
is the greatest day ever,
53
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:24,208
and I do not have time
to talk about this!
54
00:02:24,402 --> 00:02:25,108
Wait!
55
00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:26,333
[Elevator bell dings]
56
00:02:26,535 --> 00:02:30,805
If you would just slow down a little, then
I could arrange balloons or a flower cake
57
00:02:30,824 --> 00:02:32,424
- or a bouncy castle--
- Ah!
58
00:02:32,459 --> 00:02:35,896
Ethel Beavers, we would like a marriage
license, please and thank you.
59
00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:37,498
What's the date of the wedding?
60
00:02:37,527 --> 00:02:39,287
- Today.
- It's a bit unusual,
61
00:02:39,303 --> 00:02:41,181
- but we both--
- Don't care.
62
00:02:41,648 --> 00:02:44,625
Leslie Knope, would you
please be my matron of honor?
63
00:02:44,649 --> 00:02:48,851
Diane, you have no idea
what that means to me.
64
00:02:48,859 --> 00:02:50,076
She gets it.
Let's go.
65
00:02:50,104 --> 00:02:53,011
Well, this is like
a waking nightmare...
66
00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:55,574
of happiness. I need
to get some flowers.
67
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:59,011
Why don't you hold this colorful
bouquet of highlighters?
68
00:02:59,065 --> 00:03:01,306
Rice, I need to find some rice,
I need to throw some rice.
69
00:03:01,337 --> 00:03:03,662
Why is there no rice in this
municipal government building?
70
00:03:03,673 --> 00:03:05,881
I found a justice guy. These
are the marrying people.
71
00:03:05,902 --> 00:03:07,304
- This is Carl.
- Hello, Carl.
72
00:03:07,334 --> 00:03:10,311
My fiancee and I would like to get
married right now, right here.
73
00:03:10,351 --> 00:03:12,348
Haven't I done a quickie
wedding for you before?
74
00:03:12,354 --> 00:03:14,961
It's certainly possible,
but this one's going to stick.
75
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,664
I need your full names
for the license.
76
00:03:17,707 --> 00:03:21,710
- Ronald Ulysses Swanson.
- Diane Tammy Lewis.
77
00:03:21,816 --> 00:03:22,735
Tammy?
78
00:03:22,764 --> 00:03:25,024
- Your middle name is--
- Just kidding, it's Elizabeth.
79
00:03:25,697 --> 00:03:28,503
- Let's go, Carl. - Hey, hey. Let's
pump the brakes, Carl, okay?
80
00:03:28,554 --> 00:03:31,570
Belay that order, Carl.
Shortest possible ceremony.
81
00:03:31,588 --> 00:03:33,455
I'm tired of not being
married to this woman.
82
00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:35,962
- Do you, Ron Swanson, take Diane to
be your wife? - Ooh, it's going to start!
83
00:03:35,994 --> 00:03:37,538
- Ooh, it's happening!
- I certainly do.
84
00:03:37,561 --> 00:03:38,887
- Oh, my God!
- And do you, Diane, take--
85
00:03:38,912 --> 00:03:40,500
- Yes! She said yes!
- Yes, I do.
86
00:03:40,523 --> 00:03:41,896
- Okay.
- Wait!
87
00:03:41,908 --> 00:03:44,698
- By the power vested in me--
- Before you-- Carl, just one second.
88
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,003
I would just like to give
a short speech, if I may.
89
00:03:47,034 --> 00:03:48,270
You have ten seconds.
90
00:03:48,288 --> 00:03:48,905
[Sighs]
91
00:03:48,930 --> 00:03:53,108
At first glance, it may seem as though Ron
Swanson and I have nothing in common,
92
00:03:53,408 --> 00:03:55,242
but Webster's dictionary
defines "friend--"
93
00:03:55,272 --> 00:03:56,247
- Time.
- It's--ugh!
94
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:57,680
Thank you, Leslie.
95
00:03:57,706 --> 00:04:00,469
I could tell where you were going with
that, and it was gonna be beautiful.
96
00:04:00,496 --> 00:04:01,815
- I now pronounce you...
- Oh!
97
00:04:01,829 --> 00:04:02,863
man and wife.
98
00:04:02,877 --> 00:04:04,828
Hooray!
99
00:04:04,859 --> 00:04:05,774
[Clapping]
Yay!
100
00:04:05,798 --> 00:04:06,954
Great job, everyone.
101
00:04:06,984 --> 00:04:10,242
The reception will be held in each
of our individual houses, alone.
102
00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:12,058
Pretend this is rice!
103
00:04:12,592 --> 00:04:13,898
[Sighs]
104
00:04:14,798 --> 00:04:15,841
That was beautiful.
105
00:04:15,928 --> 00:04:18,863
[Triumphant music]
106
00:04:18,919 --> 00:04:28,919
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
107
00:04:36,434 --> 00:04:38,276
The people who want
to boot me from office
108
00:04:38,296 --> 00:04:40,544
have been viciously attacking me
for weeks.
109
00:04:40,569 --> 00:04:43,250
All: Recall Knope!
Recall Knope!
110
00:04:43,298 --> 00:04:44,748
Legalize weed!
111
00:04:44,764 --> 00:04:48,062
Last week, I was an answer in the
Pawnee Journal's Crossword Puzzle.
112
00:04:48,097 --> 00:04:50,685
The clue-- "Who's the
worst," but you know what?
113
00:04:50,728 --> 00:04:54,805
We're fighting back. I've broken my
defense initiative into 40 phases.
114
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:59,002
We are currently in phase
26: "No problem too small."
115
00:04:59,031 --> 00:05:03,281
Anyone can come to me any time with any
problem, no matter how petty or small,
116
00:05:03,296 --> 00:05:06,599
and I will fix it personally,
and let me tell you,
117
00:05:06,671 --> 00:05:09,272
some of these complaints are
pretty damn petty and small.
118
00:05:09,490 --> 00:05:12,334
Okay, Gretel, how can
I help you today?
119
00:05:12,358 --> 00:05:15,719
There are slugs everywhere on the
sidewalk in front of my house.
120
00:05:15,795 --> 00:05:18,922
I want them gone but not
killed--I love animals.
121
00:05:18,953 --> 00:05:20,704
But get rid of them.
They're gross.
122
00:05:20,712 --> 00:05:24,147
But make sure they're
happy but not too happy.
123
00:05:24,196 --> 00:05:28,852
Well, we're on it,
because "No problem too small."
124
00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:30,474
So what now?
125
00:05:30,490 --> 00:05:31,975
Well, I have
about 30 more people
126
00:05:32,021 --> 00:05:34,222
who want to come into my office
and complain to my face.
127
00:05:34,256 --> 00:05:35,190
- Leslie Knope!
- Oh!
128
00:05:35,224 --> 00:05:36,875
Ann Perkins. Mm.
129
00:05:36,909 --> 00:05:38,028
How's the recall fight going?
130
00:05:38,052 --> 00:05:40,822
This person-to-person campaigning
is kind of wearing me down.
131
00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,834
Well, as a wise woman
once said to me,
132
00:05:42,846 --> 00:05:46,646
"Ann, you cunning, pliable,
chestnut-haired sunfish,
133
00:05:46,674 --> 00:05:48,428
phase 26
is the key to my plan."
134
00:05:48,452 --> 00:05:50,981
Good memory, sunfish.
Let's press on.
135
00:05:51,044 --> 00:05:53,960
I have to come up with some
solution for this slug problem.
136
00:05:54,012 --> 00:05:56,075
Someone has a slug infestation?
137
00:05:56,645 --> 00:05:58,580
Boy, oh, boy,
we live interesting lives,
138
00:05:58,607 --> 00:06:00,213
filled
with unexpected challenges.
139
00:06:00,237 --> 00:06:04,075
Life is precious, and
every day is a miracle.
140
00:06:05,273 --> 00:06:06,830
Okay.
141
00:06:08,518 --> 00:06:09,662
What a freak.
142
00:06:09,691 --> 00:06:12,255
Things with me and Chris
are going really well.
143
00:06:12,278 --> 00:06:15,390
We spend every day together,
and we're having so much fun.
144
00:06:15,415 --> 00:06:17,753
And check this out.
145
00:06:19,618 --> 00:06:21,175
Oh, no, there's no ring.
146
00:06:21,199 --> 00:06:23,616
We just had manicures
together recently.
147
00:06:23,662 --> 00:06:25,626
Sorry, that was misleading.
148
00:06:28,949 --> 00:06:31,902
Ah, Mr. Haverford,
back again, I see.
149
00:06:31,927 --> 00:06:33,929
What the hell, man? This
looks exactly like my store!
150
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,729
I know. My client is a very
determined businessman.
151
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,932
When he rips someone off,
he goes all the way.
152
00:06:38,950 --> 00:06:42,382
You see, you are Hydrox,
Mr. Haverford.
153
00:06:42,788 --> 00:06:44,382
We are Oreo.
154
00:06:44,501 --> 00:06:47,743
Your mysterious, unnamed client
seems like a pretty intense guy.
155
00:06:47,766 --> 00:06:52,139
I am impressed by how quickly he was able
to move such a large amount of merchandise.
156
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:56,104
- Mm.
- He must be one heck of a transporter.
157
00:06:56,221 --> 00:06:59,241
My client is not Jason Statham,
if that's what you're thinking.
158
00:06:59,274 --> 00:07:01,492
Some mysterious
big shot investor
159
00:07:01,518 --> 00:07:04,024
has opened up a store
directly across the street
160
00:07:04,061 --> 00:07:06,113
from rent-a-swag to try
to put me out of business.
161
00:07:06,143 --> 00:07:09,452
I'm not worried, though. I've poured
my heart and soul into my store.
162
00:07:09,484 --> 00:07:11,369
I'm sure this guy's just looking
for a place to store
163
00:07:11,396 --> 00:07:13,593
all his NBA
championship trophies.
164
00:07:13,603 --> 00:07:15,948
- It's not Lebron James.
- Damn.
165
00:07:16,495 --> 00:07:21,110
Well, I hate to say this, gang, but I don't
think "No problem too small" is working.
166
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,928
I mean, there's been no press coverage,
no change in my poll numbers.
167
00:07:23,941 --> 00:07:26,964
I agree, we need something
massive and attention-getting,
168
00:07:26,983 --> 00:07:28,962
something that will
grab people by the ears,
169
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,362
yell at them through a bullhorn, and
hit them like a bolt of lightning.
170
00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:34,051
- I got it!
- What is it?
171
00:07:34,073 --> 00:07:36,107
Oh, no, I just--
I got a fly.
172
00:07:36,313 --> 00:07:37,532
I have something.
173
00:07:37,576 --> 00:07:41,099
Remember phase 13,
"Think outside of the box"?
174
00:07:41,206 --> 00:07:42,693
Of course. It was
an amazing phase.
175
00:07:42,715 --> 00:07:44,361
Easily a top five phase.
176
00:07:44,377 --> 00:07:48,507
Well, I thought outside of the box, and
I nominated you for this big award.
177
00:07:48,529 --> 00:07:51,542
It's called "The International
Coalition of Women in Government,"
178
00:07:51,586 --> 00:07:53,212
and you won.
179
00:07:54,262 --> 00:07:57,562
There's, like, five winners, and
you get a big trophy or something.
180
00:07:57,588 --> 00:08:00,019
Oh, my God, this is real.
I just assumed you were lying.
181
00:08:00,042 --> 00:08:01,921
Thank you, but yeah, it's real.
182
00:08:01,937 --> 00:08:05,590
Ann Richards won it once,
and Janet Napolitano, I think.
183
00:08:05,613 --> 00:08:08,398
Janet Napoli-fraking-tano?
Oh, my God.
184
00:08:08,443 --> 00:08:10,380
This is amazing and perfect.
185
00:08:10,405 --> 00:08:12,916
This is exactly the kind
of big, splashy thing
186
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,349
that's gonna get the voters' attention.
When is the ceremony?
187
00:08:15,365 --> 00:08:16,870
Next month...
188
00:08:16,901 --> 00:08:18,746
- in London.
- London?
189
00:08:18,763 --> 00:08:21,213
- London?
- We're going to London?
190
00:08:21,971 --> 00:08:24,171
We're going to London, you guys!
191
00:08:28,546 --> 00:08:30,521
I can't believe
we're at Hogwarts!
192
00:08:30,579 --> 00:08:33,147
No, that's Buckingham Palace.
193
00:08:33,269 --> 00:08:35,998
Hogwarts is fictional.
Do you know that?
194
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,210
It's important to me
that you know that.
195
00:08:38,245 --> 00:08:40,945
Okay, guys, we are going
to be sightseeing today.
196
00:08:41,002 --> 00:08:42,354
Andy and Ben are gonna
go to their meeting,
197
00:08:42,377 --> 00:08:44,256
and then we're gonna go
back to the hotel for lunch,
198
00:08:44,282 --> 00:08:47,558
and I will spend the day getting
to know London's history.
199
00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:51,102
History began on July 4, 1776.
200
00:08:51,132 --> 00:08:53,401
Everything before
that was a mistake.
201
00:08:53,425 --> 00:08:58,354
Diane suggested we "tag along
to London" for a honeymoon.
202
00:08:58,421 --> 00:09:03,154
I agreed, because my love for her
trumps my hatred for Europe.
203
00:09:03,242 --> 00:09:05,262
Then she hit a phase
of morning sickness
204
00:09:05,282 --> 00:09:08,397
that knocked her for a loop
and decided to stay home,
205
00:09:08,418 --> 00:09:12,706
but she insisted I go
and take pictures for her.
206
00:09:12,758 --> 00:09:16,547
All of this could have been avoided if
we'd followed my plan for a honeymoon:
207
00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:19,367
a steak dinner, a glass
of Lagavulin whiskey,
208
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:22,028
then vigorous lovemaking
for two hours,
209
00:09:22,076 --> 00:09:24,177
and we're both asleep
by 8:30.
210
00:09:24,343 --> 00:09:26,814
Hey, Leslie, we're gonna head
to the meeting. Are you okay?
211
00:09:26,846 --> 00:09:30,414
Yeah, I know it's weird, but I kind
of feel bad about leaving Pawnee.
212
00:09:30,516 --> 00:09:32,947
It's like leaving my kid at
home without a babysitter.
213
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:34,641
Leslie, you're in London.
214
00:09:34,688 --> 00:09:37,070
You're 4,000 miles
away from home.
215
00:09:37,101 --> 00:09:40,270
- Try to enjoy this, okay?
- Yeah, you're right, as usual.
216
00:09:40,740 --> 00:09:41,565
Good luck.
217
00:09:41,597 --> 00:09:42,672
[Hip-hop music]
218
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,549
Ooh, hey...
219
00:09:45,587 --> 00:09:48,139
boss man, I want
to go home early.
220
00:09:48,309 --> 00:09:50,526
Ooh, hold on, actually.
Hang on. Yeah, no.
221
00:09:50,558 --> 00:09:53,025
I want to quit and
never come here again.
222
00:09:53,048 --> 00:09:54,820
[Laughs]
Okay, bye.
223
00:09:55,226 --> 00:09:56,776
I can't believe
I used to date you!
224
00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:57,897
Tommy Pickles!
225
00:09:57,937 --> 00:10:00,784
You see there's a better version
of your store across the street?
226
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,468
And those guys are giving out
free pizza with "papperonas."
227
00:10:03,499 --> 00:10:05,387
I know, man.
That's my competition.
228
00:10:05,414 --> 00:10:07,646
They're trying to put me out
of business, and it's working.
229
00:10:07,739 --> 00:10:09,959
Three weeks ago,
this place was hopping.
230
00:10:10,003 --> 00:10:11,620
My clothes were flying
off the rack.
231
00:10:11,648 --> 00:10:14,517
I was spreading swag around
town like a killer swag virus.
232
00:10:14,524 --> 00:10:17,443
Now, look at this place.
It's dead!
233
00:10:17,515 --> 00:10:18,515
What am I gonna do?
234
00:10:18,547 --> 00:10:20,114
It's like I always say, okay?
235
00:10:20,151 --> 00:10:23,385
When life gives you lemons, you sell
some of your grandma's jewelry,
236
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:24,448
and you go clubbing.
237
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,483
That's not a good
piece of advice.
238
00:10:26,583 --> 00:10:28,452
So I'ma throw up.
I ate too much cheese.
239
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:29,742
I'll talk to you!
240
00:10:30,002 --> 00:10:31,059
[Sighs]
241
00:10:31,084 --> 00:10:32,886
I need some better friends.
242
00:10:33,073 --> 00:10:35,761
So the only thing you did
was stop drinking beer?
243
00:10:35,784 --> 00:10:38,170
Yeah, I lost 50
pounds in one month.
244
00:10:38,428 --> 00:10:39,889
How much beer
were you drinking?
245
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:41,382
[Laughs]
I know, right?
246
00:10:41,424 --> 00:10:42,707
Probably too much.
247
00:10:42,745 --> 00:10:45,214
Andy and I are meeting with
an English charity foundation
248
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:49,789
to expand our after-school music
program, and British people love me.
249
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:53,611
There was this British kid in my high
school who always called me "Big Ben"
250
00:10:53,648 --> 00:11:00,368
and would punch me really hard on
the arm, and go, "Bong! Bong! Bo--"
251
00:11:00,403 --> 00:11:02,287
Oh, he might have hated me.
252
00:11:02,601 --> 00:11:04,532
Real quick,
should I do a British accent?
253
00:11:04,588 --> 00:11:07,140
- Um, I'm gonna say no.
- You sure?
254
00:11:07,155 --> 00:11:08,439
- Yeah.
- I can do one.
255
00:11:08,471 --> 00:11:10,355
It's not very good,
but I think I could pull it off.
256
00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:14,265
I just feel like he's gonna get upset
when he finds out that we're American.
257
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:15,656
He knows we're American.
258
00:11:15,669 --> 00:11:17,610
Ugh, great.
All right, well,
259
00:11:17,616 --> 00:11:19,434
I guess we'll take
the meeting anyway.
260
00:11:19,493 --> 00:11:22,406
[Bad British accent] After all, we
did come all the way down under.
261
00:11:22,430 --> 00:11:23,749
No.
262
00:11:25,549 --> 00:11:27,983
Lord Covington, I'm Ben Wyatt.
263
00:11:28,079 --> 00:11:31,829
This is Andy Dwyer, and it is
an honor to meet you, sir.
264
00:11:31,918 --> 00:11:33,250
Well, it's nice to meet you too.
265
00:11:33,284 --> 00:11:35,934
However, the proper mode
of address would be
266
00:11:35,947 --> 00:11:38,858
"Your Royal Excellency,
Lord Edgar Darby Covington,
267
00:11:38,882 --> 00:11:43,642
"14th Earl of Cornwall-upon-Tthames,
29th Baron of Hertfordshire."
268
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:46,217
No, no, no, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
269
00:11:46,236 --> 00:11:47,324
- Oh!
- Please, call me Eddie.
270
00:11:47,345 --> 00:11:48,911
Oh, thank God.
[Laughter]
271
00:11:48,943 --> 00:11:51,231
I knew that other name
must have been a stupid joke.
272
00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:52,359
- [Laughs]
- Andy--
273
00:11:52,393 --> 00:11:55,762
No, no, no, no, he's absolutely
right, it's an absurd name.
274
00:11:56,130 --> 00:12:00,151
Well, I'm excited to hear
about your musical charity idea.
275
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,267
- Shall we?
- Yeah.
276
00:12:03,364 --> 00:12:05,402
The Notting Hill bus tour
starts at 2:00,
277
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,862
the Love Actually bus
tour starts at 2:30,
278
00:12:07,886 --> 00:12:11,364
and--oh, the Bridget Jones bus
tour starts at 2:30 also.
279
00:12:11,409 --> 00:12:13,564
What do we do? Ron, your pick.
280
00:12:15,787 --> 00:12:19,763
Look, a clock. We don't
have that in America.
281
00:12:20,026 --> 00:12:22,120
You call that a tower?
282
00:12:22,418 --> 00:12:24,485
Try the Sears Tower, friend.
283
00:12:25,438 --> 00:12:26,855
"London at night."
284
00:12:26,878 --> 00:12:28,960
[Laughs]
That is very funny.
285
00:12:28,986 --> 00:12:29,969
Can I help you, sir?
286
00:12:30,018 --> 00:12:31,281
Yes.
287
00:12:31,444 --> 00:12:32,675
I will take this.
288
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,793
We don't accept
American currency, sir.
289
00:12:34,829 --> 00:12:38,081
Of course you do. That's the most
wonderful piece of paper in the world.
290
00:12:38,106 --> 00:12:40,212
- Accept it.
- Very sorry, sir.
291
00:12:40,372 --> 00:12:41,585
Fine.
292
00:12:41,645 --> 00:12:47,034
Enjoy the fact that your royal overlords
are a frail, old woman and a tiny baby.
293
00:12:49,574 --> 00:12:50,516
[Sighs]
294
00:12:50,586 --> 00:12:52,106
You really think
this will work, Donna?
295
00:12:52,141 --> 00:12:53,047
Why wouldn't it?
296
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,628
We just pull the business license--
it's public information--
297
00:12:55,666 --> 00:12:59,175
and then at least you'll have an address.
Ooh, here.
298
00:12:59,511 --> 00:13:02,175
Hmm, some kind of shady,
fake shell corporation
299
00:13:02,206 --> 00:13:05,237
- called "Open 4 Business, LLC."
- Thanks, Donna.
300
00:13:05,345 --> 00:13:07,883
Hey, if it's Akon and y'all
become best friends,
301
00:13:07,908 --> 00:13:09,626
I want a ride on his plane.
302
00:13:09,677 --> 00:13:12,471
- Done and done.
- Nice.
303
00:13:13,038 --> 00:13:15,341
"1020 Maple Street."
304
00:13:17,374 --> 00:13:20,044
Ann and Chris?
What are they doing here?
305
00:13:23,494 --> 00:13:25,303
Sir, you can't go in there!
306
00:13:25,315 --> 00:13:27,651
Aha!
I caught you!
307
00:13:27,726 --> 00:13:30,509
- Hey, it's Tom!
- What the hell are you doing?
308
00:13:30,535 --> 00:13:32,734
What am I doing?
What are you doing here?
309
00:13:32,773 --> 00:13:35,706
Dr. Saperstein is
giving me a sonogram,
310
00:13:35,839 --> 00:13:39,172
in his doctor's office, for
women, because I'm pregnant!
311
00:13:39,303 --> 00:13:41,097
Oh, my God.
312
00:13:41,540 --> 00:13:43,419
- You're Jean-Ralphio's dad!
- Mm-hmm.
313
00:13:43,438 --> 00:13:45,172
You're the one that's trying
to put me out of business!
314
00:13:45,203 --> 00:13:47,830
Well, look at that, Mr. Haverford.
You tracked me down.
315
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:50,070
Looks like your detective
skills are a lot better
316
00:13:50,083 --> 00:13:53,385
than your tween, high-end
fashion rental skills.
317
00:13:53,604 --> 00:13:55,288
Ann, Chris,
can we have the room, please?
318
00:13:55,313 --> 00:13:56,619
No, you certainly cannot.
319
00:13:56,642 --> 00:13:58,999
Dr. Saperstein, why are you doing this?
What did I ever do to you?
320
00:13:59,034 --> 00:14:00,918
You know exactly
why I'm doing this.
321
00:14:01,113 --> 00:14:02,705
You destroyed my family.
322
00:14:02,733 --> 00:14:04,896
First, you screwed my son
out of your business,
323
00:14:04,916 --> 00:14:07,302
and then you stole my
daughter's virginity.
324
00:14:07,353 --> 00:14:11,822
[Laughter]
325
00:14:19,904 --> 00:14:21,488
Wait, you're serious?
326
00:14:21,566 --> 00:14:22,734
Deadly serious.
327
00:14:22,757 --> 00:14:24,557
According to my daughter,
you broke her heart.
328
00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:27,762
Then you smashed up her BMW.
I had to buy her a new one,
329
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:30,957
so she could drive to Divinity School.
Let me tell you something, mister.
330
00:14:30,983 --> 00:14:34,285
You attack a Saperstein,
you face my wrath.
331
00:14:34,316 --> 00:14:39,969
Be so sure about this, Tiny Tom, that I
will crush you like the bug you are...
332
00:14:40,002 --> 00:14:40,896
[Heart beating]
[Gasps]
333
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:44,207
And there it is, the heartbeat.
334
00:14:44,289 --> 00:14:46,489
- Ohh.
- Everything sounds perfect.
335
00:14:46,501 --> 00:14:47,407
Ohh.
336
00:14:47,426 --> 00:14:49,780
This is the moment
we were dreaming of:
337
00:14:49,835 --> 00:14:52,555
you and me and our baby.
338
00:14:53,127 --> 00:14:56,357
And Tom and his weird
feud with our doctor.
339
00:14:56,963 --> 00:15:00,411
So this after-school music program has
been really successful in Pawnee,
340
00:15:00,423 --> 00:15:03,092
and we've expanded it to eight
other towns in Indiana,
341
00:15:03,121 --> 00:15:05,256
but we feel with
your help, we can--
342
00:15:05,266 --> 00:15:07,457
Whoa! Are those--
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
343
00:15:07,482 --> 00:15:09,070
Are those remote
control helicopters?
344
00:15:09,107 --> 00:15:10,574
- Yeah.
- What?
345
00:15:10,658 --> 00:15:12,077
I got them as a gift.
346
00:15:12,107 --> 00:15:14,259
I bought them for
one of my nephews,
347
00:15:14,285 --> 00:15:15,815
- and then I decided to keep them.
- Yeah.
348
00:15:15,821 --> 00:15:17,203
Would you like to play
with them?
349
00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:20,090
- Oh, would I? I call blue one!
- I call the-- oh.
350
00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:21,444
Okay, you get the blue one.
351
00:15:21,464 --> 00:15:25,139
Andy, we are guests of Lord Covington.
Maybe you should let him...
352
00:15:25,922 --> 00:15:27,241
play with the blue helicopter.
353
00:15:27,251 --> 00:15:28,756
What are you talking
about, dude?
354
00:15:28,793 --> 00:15:30,311
- I called it.
- He called it.
355
00:15:30,324 --> 00:15:32,221
- That's the rule.
- That's the rule.
356
00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:33,752
Anyway,
the orange one's better.
357
00:15:33,781 --> 00:15:34,596
- What?
- Come on.
358
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,054
[Helicopters buzzing]
Aah!
359
00:15:36,088 --> 00:15:37,071
[Laughs]
360
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,018
Hey, get off!
361
00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:41,700
Okay, watch out!
Watch out!
362
00:15:41,716 --> 00:15:42,947
- Agh!
- Ohh!
363
00:15:42,967 --> 00:15:44,914
Dude, awesome.
I think I broke mine!
364
00:15:44,951 --> 00:15:47,740
- Oh, bummer.
- So, like, you...
365
00:15:47,783 --> 00:15:49,408
your family owns all this stuff?
366
00:15:49,428 --> 00:15:50,852
Well, no, not everything.
367
00:15:50,869 --> 00:15:53,867
We own that building,
368
00:15:54,158 --> 00:15:57,467
that one, that house,
that round thing,
369
00:15:57,886 --> 00:15:58,636
that one.
370
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,372
We don't own that.
371
00:16:00,692 --> 00:16:02,436
Oh, no, actually,
we do own that.
372
00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:03,977
What else does your family own?
373
00:16:04,027 --> 00:16:06,652
Well, um, have you
heard of Scotland?
374
00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:10,292
As I was saying, we've really
made this music program work
375
00:16:10,312 --> 00:16:14,123
in Indiana, and we think, with
your help, we could turn this
376
00:16:14,150 --> 00:16:16,969
into a wide-reaching
international program.
377
00:16:16,987 --> 00:16:18,031
Oh, you know what I want?
378
00:16:18,059 --> 00:16:19,843
Ice cream. Do you guys
have that here, ice cream?
379
00:16:19,871 --> 00:16:21,162
Oh, it's so good.
You have to get it.
380
00:16:21,194 --> 00:16:23,287
It's, like, scoops, and
it comes on a cone.
381
00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:24,350
- Yeah.
- Do you have that here?
382
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:25,700
- We have it. Of course we--
- You have it?
383
00:16:25,722 --> 00:16:26,910
Where do you think
you are, the moon?
384
00:16:26,963 --> 00:16:27,996
[Both laugh]
385
00:16:28,065 --> 00:16:30,650
- That'd be awesome if we were.
- Yeah.
386
00:16:31,121 --> 00:16:32,902
Can we get some?
Could we...
387
00:16:33,146 --> 00:16:35,102
do--could we have some?
388
00:16:35,726 --> 00:16:37,001
Could we?
389
00:16:37,207 --> 00:16:38,133
Sure.
390
00:16:38,159 --> 00:16:39,101
[Laughter]
391
00:16:39,126 --> 00:16:40,257
Yeah.
392
00:16:40,352 --> 00:16:42,537
- Let's go.
- Just what do I do with this?
393
00:16:42,571 --> 00:16:44,366
Just throw it there.
Roger will pick it up.
394
00:16:44,374 --> 00:16:45,643
Oh.
395
00:16:47,155 --> 00:16:50,436
"So I long for a day when women
in government will simply be seen
396
00:16:50,437 --> 00:16:52,593
"as people in government,
but until then,
397
00:16:52,621 --> 00:16:55,671
"I will work to make Pawnee,
my wonderful hometown,
398
00:16:55,687 --> 00:16:57,256
as good as it can be."
399
00:16:57,324 --> 00:16:58,081
What do you think?
400
00:16:58,112 --> 00:17:00,506
I think you should lose
the first line
401
00:17:00,517 --> 00:17:02,853
and the last line
and all of the other lines,
402
00:17:02,872 --> 00:17:05,345
and instead,
just walk up to the mic
403
00:17:05,364 --> 00:17:08,123
and meow really loudly
for eight minutes.
404
00:17:08,142 --> 00:17:10,248
Okay, this trip is amazing,
405
00:17:10,286 --> 00:17:12,676
but I miss Pawnee, you know?
406
00:17:12,693 --> 00:17:16,376
I want to know what's happening there.
One little news blast wouldn't hurt.
407
00:17:17,846 --> 00:17:20,224
[Upbeat music] Welcome to
The Final Word With Perd.
408
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:22,363
Ms. Pinewood, there is
a thing you are doing,
409
00:17:22,382 --> 00:17:24,807
and that thing is you are
leading a recall vote
410
00:17:24,823 --> 00:17:29,518
against Councilwoman Knope, and you say you
have new, shocking allegations about her.
411
00:17:29,531 --> 00:17:30,747
What? What now?
412
00:17:30,766 --> 00:17:34,679
Perd, I take no pleasure in reporting
this, but it must come to light.
413
00:17:34,826 --> 00:17:39,503
We are here, trying to make Pawnee
better, and where is Leslie Knope?
414
00:17:39,537 --> 00:17:43,440
She's gallivanting around Europe
like some kind of European.
415
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,422
How--how did they get
that picture so...
416
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,265
Facebook.
417
00:17:46,270 --> 00:17:47,470
- But I just put--
- Facebook.
418
00:17:47,493 --> 00:17:48,851
- But isn't it a--
- Facebook.
419
00:17:48,878 --> 00:17:52,091
Apparently, she can't be
bothered to stay here in Pawnee,
420
00:17:52,116 --> 00:17:55,179
not when there's Europe
to gallivant around in.
421
00:17:55,219 --> 00:17:58,463
Well, we conducted a Perd
poll and asked this question:
422
00:18:04,061 --> 00:18:06,586
48% said she should
not be in Europe,
423
00:18:06,632 --> 00:18:08,670
17% say it's okay,
424
00:18:08,716 --> 00:18:12,902
and 35% said they were confused by
the way the question was posed.
425
00:18:13,001 --> 00:18:14,630
Oh, my God.
426
00:18:15,967 --> 00:18:17,067
You're leaving tonight?
427
00:18:17,095 --> 00:18:18,679
I can't believe there's even a flight?
428
00:18:18,704 --> 00:18:21,854
Well, not to Indiana, but there's
a 9:00 red-eye to Lisbon,
429
00:18:21,873 --> 00:18:25,717
and then I can catch the 4:30 A.M. back
to Edinburgh, connect through Houston,
430
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:28,525
head on up to Cincinnati and then
rent a car, drive around 90,
431
00:18:28,539 --> 00:18:31,936
and I'll be home two hours earlier
than if I flew home as planned.
432
00:18:32,136 --> 00:18:32,967
Easy breezy!
433
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:34,614
Leslie, I can't believe
I'm saying this,
434
00:18:34,632 --> 00:18:37,133
but I do not think you should
leave Europe right now.
435
00:18:37,208 --> 00:18:39,558
You flew all this way.
Have some perspective.
436
00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:41,408
You have some perspective!
437
00:18:42,523 --> 00:18:43,679
I'm sorry.
438
00:18:44,005 --> 00:18:45,624
Maybe you're right.
Maybe I'm stressed.
439
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,672
Okay, I need to calm down. Let's go
walk past Colin Firth's house again.
440
00:18:48,707 --> 00:18:50,895
Ugh, who is that?
441
00:18:51,418 --> 00:18:53,186
Hold up.
My dad said that?
442
00:18:53,211 --> 00:18:57,329
Yeah, Jean-Ralphio. He told
me that I had screwed you
443
00:18:57,361 --> 00:18:59,049
- out of my business...
- What?
444
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,299
So he was gonna screw me back. Any
idea why he'd believe such a thing?
445
00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:04,077
That is so weird.
446
00:19:04,218 --> 00:19:06,487
That is so--
oh, you know what?
447
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:09,173
Honestly, now that I'm thinking
about it, this may be it.
448
00:19:09,193 --> 00:19:14,194
I actually told him that Rent-A-Swag was
my idea and that you had stole it from me.
449
00:19:14,228 --> 00:19:15,253
Why would you say that?
450
00:19:15,278 --> 00:19:17,866
Because my dad is always riding
me for never having a job,
451
00:19:17,873 --> 00:19:19,936
and I just didn't want to
show that I blew it again.
452
00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:23,166
Oh... and I don't know
if this is relevant...
453
00:19:23,181 --> 00:19:24,344
- Hmm.
- But I told him
454
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:28,320
that you made me sign up for a bunch
of credit cards and then max them out
455
00:19:28,345 --> 00:19:30,433
by buying illegal white
jaguar fur coats.
456
00:19:30,458 --> 00:19:31,351
[Laughing]
457
00:19:31,376 --> 00:19:33,137
- That's probably not relevant, though.
- It's probably not relevant, though.
458
00:19:33,156 --> 00:19:34,421
- I don't know--
- I guess--
459
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,471
All this lying about
me stops now!
460
00:19:37,502 --> 00:19:39,236
Both: Hmm.
- This is my life.
461
00:19:39,371 --> 00:19:41,424
Please, one of you has
to tell him the truth.
462
00:19:41,454 --> 00:19:42,257
- Not it!
- Not it!
463
00:19:42,271 --> 00:19:44,713
Ooh, you got me!
Whoa ho!
464
00:19:44,789 --> 00:19:45,982
Uh-oh, uh-oh!
465
00:19:46,007 --> 00:19:48,192
Both: Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.
466
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:49,783
Okay, fine.
You know what?
467
00:19:49,945 --> 00:19:51,545
I'm gonna do the unthinkable.
468
00:19:51,674 --> 00:19:55,218
I'm gonna have a short, honest
conversation with my father.
469
00:19:55,377 --> 00:19:56,627
Thank you.
470
00:19:56,816 --> 00:20:00,469
[Jazz music]
471
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:01,916
♪
472
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:03,968
[Cheers and applause]
473
00:20:04,117 --> 00:20:06,025
Oh, that's
a big cheering section.
474
00:20:06,062 --> 00:20:08,747
Okay, that's Khongordzol,
from Mongolia.
475
00:20:08,776 --> 00:20:11,951
She grew up in a hut that was
entirely made of ice and mud,
476
00:20:11,976 --> 00:20:14,264
then she became their mayor,
then their police chief
477
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:16,149
and their best
Wolverine Wrangler.
478
00:20:16,588 --> 00:20:17,894
I love her.
479
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:21,350
Oh, hi. You must
be Leslie Knope.
480
00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:23,809
I'm Ulee Danssen.
I'm one of the honorees.
481
00:20:24,070 --> 00:20:26,014
Wow, look at your face.
482
00:20:26,501 --> 00:20:27,470
What?
483
00:20:27,513 --> 00:20:29,844
- It's just so symmetrical.
- Oh, thanks!
484
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,254
You know, we all have
that in Denmark.
485
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,962
Oh, you're from
Denmark, of course.
486
00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:34,408
Wow, what part of
Denmark are you from?
487
00:20:34,424 --> 00:20:35,753
I'm from Silkeborg. You know.
488
00:20:35,783 --> 00:20:38,216
It's not one of the most
perfect places in the world,
489
00:20:38,228 --> 00:20:40,639
but I love it, and it loves me.
490
00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:42,649
And look what they've
done for me.
491
00:20:42,733 --> 00:20:44,646
- They made a statue of you!
- Yes.
492
00:20:44,676 --> 00:20:47,155
Wow. Is that goat cheese?
493
00:20:47,173 --> 00:20:49,558
Good cheese eye, Leslie. It
is made out of goat cheese.
494
00:20:49,578 --> 00:20:52,007
We have a lot of it,
and after tonight's event,
495
00:20:52,039 --> 00:20:54,724
they're going to consume
me with crackers.
496
00:20:54,831 --> 00:20:57,796
They just love me.
What about your town?
497
00:20:58,838 --> 00:21:01,887
Well, Pawnee, Indiana,
is a wonderful town,
498
00:21:01,908 --> 00:21:05,574
and I love it, but they hate me. And
they're trying to kick me out of office.
499
00:21:05,669 --> 00:21:08,466
One time, they made a
pinata of my face,
500
00:21:08,502 --> 00:21:12,163
and then everybody in the town came and
took turns hitting it with a stick,
501
00:21:12,195 --> 00:21:15,284
and they filled it with broccoli,
just to add insult to injury...
502
00:21:15,305 --> 00:21:18,467
[Laughter] but politics...
you know what I mean, right?
503
00:21:18,501 --> 00:21:20,032
I don't, no.
504
00:21:20,051 --> 00:21:22,038
[Laughter]
505
00:21:23,973 --> 00:21:25,624
So you're from Mongolia?
506
00:21:25,681 --> 00:21:27,019
[Speaking Mongolian]
507
00:21:27,049 --> 00:21:29,117
Will you take me with you
when you go back there?
508
00:21:30,313 --> 00:21:31,279
I love you.
509
00:21:31,313 --> 00:21:32,497
Hmm.
510
00:21:33,088 --> 00:21:34,838
Did you understand that?
511
00:21:35,581 --> 00:21:37,331
Did you bring any wolverines?
512
00:21:37,366 --> 00:21:40,010
[Laughter]
513
00:21:40,206 --> 00:21:42,062
Say it again.
Say it again.
514
00:21:42,073 --> 00:21:43,407
Alu-min-ium.
515
00:21:43,426 --> 00:21:45,306
- [Laughing hysterically]
- Okay, okay.
516
00:21:45,357 --> 00:21:46,857
You say it. You say it.
You say it.
517
00:21:46,875 --> 00:21:47,882
It's "alumilum."
518
00:21:47,903 --> 00:21:49,118
- "Alumilum"?
- Okay.
519
00:21:49,131 --> 00:21:50,624
- Alumilum!
- Uh, Eddie...
520
00:21:50,698 --> 00:21:53,123
if you'd like me to talk
more about the program,
521
00:21:53,148 --> 00:21:55,298
- I would be happy to...
- Mm-hmm.
522
00:21:55,354 --> 00:21:57,767
But my wife is receiving
an award in just a few minutes,
523
00:21:57,777 --> 00:22:00,037
- and I really need to get over there.
- Yes, of course.
524
00:22:00,229 --> 00:22:01,679
The thing is,
525
00:22:02,728 --> 00:22:04,922
I don't know what I'm doing.
526
00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:06,127
- Me neither.
- I'm sorry?
527
00:22:06,161 --> 00:22:08,595
My family has a huge
amount of money.
528
00:22:08,626 --> 00:22:12,278
We live in a castle that
has 1,000 acres of land.
529
00:22:12,413 --> 00:22:14,488
Our hedge maze is so vast,
530
00:22:14,571 --> 00:22:17,046
once, I got lost in
there for two days.
531
00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:18,299
What?
That's awesome.
532
00:22:18,311 --> 00:22:19,642
It was awesome.
533
00:22:19,679 --> 00:22:23,394
There was a statue of a lion
inside, and I found a yo-yo.
534
00:22:23,417 --> 00:22:24,562
Well, do you--
do you have it here?
535
00:22:24,578 --> 00:22:26,497
- Guys--
- The point is,
536
00:22:26,567 --> 00:22:30,825
I started this foundation in order
to do something good with our money,
537
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,653
and I've heard hundreds
of charity pitches,
538
00:22:33,665 --> 00:22:37,242
and I honestly don't know
whether they're good or bad.
539
00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:41,576
If I may, ours...
is great.
540
00:22:42,038 --> 00:22:43,972
Brilliant!
I'm in.
541
00:22:44,276 --> 00:22:45,855
What?
Are you serious?
542
00:22:45,883 --> 00:22:48,214
Yeah. I like you, I like music.
543
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:49,788
On one condition:
544
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:54,658
I want you to stay here in London with
me for no more than three months,
545
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,954
to help me get it up and running
and tell me what to do.
546
00:22:57,987 --> 00:23:00,443
Oh, well, that
actually may be tough.
547
00:23:00,471 --> 00:23:03,127
I mean, my wife is in the middle of this
recall fight, and I really need to--
548
00:23:03,153 --> 00:23:06,656
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, I meant Andy.
549
00:23:07,015 --> 00:23:09,041
I want Andy to stay.
550
00:23:10,718 --> 00:23:13,585
Is that a goose that
just flew by the window?
551
00:23:13,813 --> 00:23:17,066
Oh, it's a plastic bag.
Did you see that?
552
00:23:17,888 --> 00:23:19,745
Wait, did I interrupt?
553
00:23:19,821 --> 00:23:22,037
- What are you guys talking about?
- Let's see if it was a goose.
554
00:23:22,057 --> 00:23:24,576
I think it could have
been, honest to God.
555
00:23:25,256 --> 00:23:27,123
Silkeborg is wonderful,
556
00:23:27,227 --> 00:23:29,606
and I am very supported
and loved.
557
00:23:29,647 --> 00:23:33,541
Once, on my birthday, the town trained
a reindeer to do a dance for me.
558
00:23:33,608 --> 00:23:37,544
It was beautiful, and the
reindeer was delicious.
559
00:23:37,588 --> 00:23:39,922
[Applause]
560
00:23:40,423 --> 00:23:41,607
- Hey.
- Hey!
561
00:23:41,617 --> 00:23:42,626
[Kiss]
562
00:23:42,651 --> 00:23:44,101
How was your meeting?
563
00:23:44,232 --> 00:23:46,362
Good.
I'll fill you in later.
564
00:23:46,476 --> 00:23:47,770
Are you ready for your speech?
565
00:23:47,789 --> 00:23:49,895
Uh... yeah.
Yeah.
566
00:23:49,931 --> 00:23:51,009
Thank you, Ulee.
567
00:23:51,052 --> 00:23:54,829
It is so inspiring to hear
stories of powerful women
568
00:23:54,855 --> 00:23:57,540
who are held in high
esteem by their hometowns.
569
00:23:57,653 --> 00:24:02,511
Now, from the hometown of Pawnee,
Indiana, in the United States,
570
00:24:02,786 --> 00:24:03,930
Leslie Knope.
571
00:24:03,959 --> 00:24:08,413
[Applause]
572
00:24:11,023 --> 00:24:12,703
First let me say,
573
00:24:12,714 --> 00:24:16,383
it is a true honor to be here
among these amazing women.
574
00:24:16,495 --> 00:24:19,058
You all inspire me with
your accomplishments
575
00:24:19,077 --> 00:24:21,730
and the things you have done
for your hometowns
576
00:24:21,753 --> 00:24:26,261
and the things your hometowns have
done for you. I mean, they're just truly...
577
00:24:29,408 --> 00:24:31,921
You know, I've been a public
servant for a long time.
578
00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:34,173
And you know how
I spend my days?
579
00:24:34,201 --> 00:24:39,545
Cleaning slime out of rivers and removing
slugs from people's front yards.
580
00:24:39,815 --> 00:24:42,603
And I love my town, but you
know how they repay me?
581
00:24:42,644 --> 00:24:44,125
By hating me.
582
00:24:44,290 --> 00:24:46,541
They hate me.
They want to recall me.
583
00:24:46,673 --> 00:24:50,379
I wish I could move to Silkeborg
and dance with a reindeer.
584
00:24:50,394 --> 00:24:52,184
You're always welcome
in Silkeborg!
585
00:24:52,217 --> 00:24:54,631
Olga, let's start
a statue of Leslie.
586
00:24:54,679 --> 00:24:56,931
See? They like me in Silkeborg
587
00:24:56,978 --> 00:24:59,711
more than my own hometown,
and I've never even been there.
588
00:24:59,890 --> 00:25:02,556
I love Pawnee,
but sometimes it sucks.
589
00:25:03,057 --> 00:25:05,844
The people can be very mean and
ungrateful, and they cling
590
00:25:05,861 --> 00:25:07,917
to their fried dough
591
00:25:07,976 --> 00:25:12,100
and their big sodas, and then they get
mad at me when their pants don't fit.
592
00:25:12,454 --> 00:25:13,987
You know, I'm sick of it.
593
00:25:14,205 --> 00:25:16,441
Pawnee is filled with a
bunch of pee-pee-heads.
594
00:25:19,188 --> 00:25:21,740
Thank you very much for this amazing award.
I'm sorry I said "pee-pee-heads."
595
00:25:21,771 --> 00:25:22,721
[Laughs]
596
00:25:22,871 --> 00:25:23,684
[Applause]
597
00:25:23,709 --> 00:25:25,090
Whoo!
598
00:25:26,151 --> 00:25:27,835
That's my boss!
599
00:25:29,209 --> 00:25:31,653
That speech was a little
rough, don't you think?
600
00:25:31,714 --> 00:25:33,839
Whatever, it's how I feel.
601
00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:35,600
Stupid, ungrateful town.
602
00:25:35,684 --> 00:25:38,633
Plus, you said it yourself:
We're 4,000 miles away.
603
00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:41,770
[Cell phone chiming]
604
00:25:41,804 --> 00:25:44,122
- Hello.
- Leslie, it's Jerry.
605
00:25:44,574 --> 00:25:45,573
Jerry who?
606
00:25:45,589 --> 00:25:46,629
Gergich.
607
00:25:46,641 --> 00:25:47,885
Jer--oh, Jerry.
608
00:25:47,903 --> 00:25:50,677
Jerry, why are you calling me? I don't
want to waste my international minutes.
609
00:25:50,705 --> 00:25:54,905
Leslie, your speech was
webcast, here in Pawnee.
610
00:25:54,934 --> 00:25:56,459
Everyone saw it.
611
00:25:56,591 --> 00:25:58,139
What do you mean, "everyone"?
612
00:25:58,167 --> 00:26:01,130
I had organized a big viewing
party, you know, to support you,
613
00:26:01,153 --> 00:26:04,347
and, well, now that Kathryn Pinewood
lady, she's already pounced.
614
00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:07,481
She's calling it the...
"Pee-pee-head" speech.
615
00:26:07,509 --> 00:26:09,396
- Bloody hell, Jerry!
- So how's Lond--
616
00:26:09,438 --> 00:26:10,856
[Phone beeps]
617
00:26:11,276 --> 00:26:14,593
I just never thought that I would
get to make this announcement.
618
00:26:14,633 --> 00:26:16,408
It's a very special day.
619
00:26:17,032 --> 00:26:18,082
Okay.
620
00:26:18,541 --> 00:26:20,041
Hi, Donna.
621
00:26:20,067 --> 00:26:22,105
- So...
- You're pregnant.
622
00:26:22,226 --> 00:26:24,160
Oh, man, Tom told you.
623
00:26:24,207 --> 00:26:25,140
Nope.
624
00:26:25,193 --> 00:26:28,412
You're drinking decaf coffee, which
you usually only do in the afternoon,
625
00:26:28,430 --> 00:26:30,020
you're wearing
an empire-waist dress
626
00:26:30,038 --> 00:26:32,631
and loose shoes 'cause your feet
are already swelling.
627
00:26:32,647 --> 00:26:34,687
I'd put you at nine,
maybe ten weeks.
628
00:26:34,732 --> 00:26:36,445
My goodness, you're observant.
629
00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:38,120
Yes, I am.
Yes, I am.
630
00:26:38,192 --> 00:26:41,362
Hmm. When did you make
the switch to boxer briefs?
631
00:26:41,863 --> 00:26:43,288
Yesterday.
632
00:26:44,832 --> 00:26:47,073
Okay, please stop
looking at him.
633
00:26:48,140 --> 00:26:49,430
Why are we here?
634
00:26:49,464 --> 00:26:51,270
Just thought you
needed some fresh air,
635
00:26:51,304 --> 00:26:55,999
even if that air is filled with the
foul stench of European socialism.
636
00:26:56,703 --> 00:27:00,697
You know, I know I am supposed to feel
bad about what I said, but I do not.
637
00:27:01,251 --> 00:27:03,180
Pawnee has really been
pissing me off lately.
638
00:27:03,193 --> 00:27:06,106
Leslie, for God's sake,
you're the adult here.
639
00:27:06,261 --> 00:27:08,411
When your kid screams
"I hate you,"
640
00:27:08,449 --> 00:27:11,115
you don't sink to his level
and yell "I hate you" back.
641
00:27:11,145 --> 00:27:12,431
You have to be the grown-up.
642
00:27:12,443 --> 00:27:13,072
[Sighs]
643
00:27:13,097 --> 00:27:15,547
You're right. I know. I
have to be the grown-up.
644
00:27:15,974 --> 00:27:18,868
[Whining]
But it's so hard! Ron!
645
00:27:19,112 --> 00:27:20,546
God!
646
00:27:20,825 --> 00:27:22,450
And nobody ever thanks you.
647
00:27:22,475 --> 00:27:26,179
You choose a thankless job, you can't
be upset when nobody thanks you.
648
00:27:26,327 --> 00:27:28,327
And by the way,
April thanked you.
649
00:27:28,350 --> 00:27:30,110
She nominated you
for this award.
650
00:27:30,133 --> 00:27:31,558
Well, April does that
all the time.
651
00:27:31,583 --> 00:27:34,685
She nominated Ann for Motocross
Driver of the Year award
652
00:27:34,699 --> 00:27:36,574
just so she could get
a rejection letter.
653
00:27:36,765 --> 00:27:40,693
April respects you, and
so do many others.
654
00:27:41,030 --> 00:27:43,343
Don't start chasing
applause and acclaim.
655
00:27:43,384 --> 00:27:45,467
That way lies madness.
656
00:27:45,679 --> 00:27:46,954
[Sighs]
657
00:27:47,330 --> 00:27:49,418
Oh, I almost forgot.
658
00:27:49,447 --> 00:27:52,358
I finally got you a
proper wedding gift,
659
00:27:52,429 --> 00:27:54,379
part one of many.
660
00:27:54,648 --> 00:27:56,332
A train ticket?
661
00:27:56,867 --> 00:28:00,202
You think I want to extend my stay
on this godforsaken continent?
662
00:28:00,233 --> 00:28:01,752
Yes, you do.
663
00:28:01,795 --> 00:28:03,951
If you follow that itinerary
to the letter,
664
00:28:03,987 --> 00:28:06,728
I promise you, you will
not be disappointed.
665
00:28:07,563 --> 00:28:09,296
Well, I would offer
to buy you a drink,
666
00:28:09,315 --> 00:28:11,174
but where the hell
would that even happen?
667
00:28:11,250 --> 00:28:12,875
This is London, Ron.
668
00:28:12,895 --> 00:28:15,141
There's a pub over there,
there's a pub over there,
669
00:28:15,153 --> 00:28:17,035
there's a pub between
those two butcher shops.
670
00:28:17,073 --> 00:28:21,422
Let's go to that one, but we'll be
stopping in those two butcher shops first.
671
00:28:22,684 --> 00:28:24,718
Hey, Jerry. I didn't know
you were working today.
672
00:28:24,744 --> 00:28:27,144
Yeah, Ron asked me
to come in while he's away.
673
00:28:27,209 --> 00:28:29,659
Of course, I had to cancel
my cardiologist appoint--
674
00:28:29,686 --> 00:28:32,852
That's great. Now, here's a piece
of information that is interesting.
675
00:28:33,163 --> 00:28:35,582
Ann is pregnant,
and it's my baby.
676
00:28:35,605 --> 00:28:37,630
Oh, my God, that's
wonderful news!
677
00:28:37,645 --> 00:28:40,709
Oh, there's so much in front of you. I
mean, soon you're gonna start showing,
678
00:28:40,735 --> 00:28:42,966
and then your clothes
will feel tight, and then,
679
00:28:43,005 --> 00:28:46,382
oh, people are gonna start
rubbing your tummy all the time!
680
00:28:46,433 --> 00:28:48,264
- [Laughs]
- That sounds terrible.
681
00:28:48,285 --> 00:28:50,489
Well, Gayle, she
got really queasy,
682
00:28:50,508 --> 00:28:52,171
and I gained a lot
of sympathy weight.
683
00:28:52,187 --> 00:28:55,081
Yeah. You know, actually,
before my kids,
684
00:28:55,114 --> 00:28:56,714
I looked a lot like you, Chris.
685
00:28:56,737 --> 00:28:58,506
I'm very sad.
Please stop talking.
686
00:28:58,533 --> 00:29:01,060
And, of course,
pretty soon, Ann,
687
00:29:01,402 --> 00:29:02,677
your milk is gonna come in.
688
00:29:02,709 --> 00:29:05,242
- Ohh.
- That is exciting.
689
00:29:05,272 --> 00:29:06,355
Mmm.
690
00:29:06,464 --> 00:29:09,059
[Gulping]
691
00:29:09,783 --> 00:29:11,878
Yep, and it happens
sooner than you'd think.
692
00:29:11,892 --> 00:29:14,600
The babies can sense it.
You would be shocked,
693
00:29:14,652 --> 00:29:16,558
'cause they are rooting
around for that nipple.
694
00:29:16,581 --> 00:29:18,773
[Smacking lips] Mm, mm.
Gimme, gimme. Mm, mm, mm.
695
00:29:18,807 --> 00:29:21,502
I want milk!
Mm, mm, mm, mm. Ohh.
696
00:29:21,527 --> 00:29:22,871
Life is a miracle.
697
00:29:23,146 --> 00:29:24,683
Mm, mm, mm.
698
00:29:24,879 --> 00:29:28,970
So it's kind of awesome that the Lord
Fancyface Guy wants you to stay.
699
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,928
Yeah, I guess. I mean, I
can't do it, obviously.
700
00:29:32,077 --> 00:29:33,459
Why?
701
00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:35,638
I don't even know
what I would be doing.
702
00:29:35,664 --> 00:29:39,423
I mean, besides, this is England.
Everything is so weird. It's all different.
703
00:29:39,549 --> 00:29:42,137
Yeah, like how they drive on
the other side of the road.
704
00:29:42,296 --> 00:29:43,313
Do they?
705
00:29:43,864 --> 00:29:45,283
I'll be damned.
706
00:29:45,333 --> 00:29:46,889
Yeah, like that.
707
00:29:46,904 --> 00:29:48,509
That's what I'm-- exactly
what I'm talking about.
708
00:29:48,538 --> 00:29:51,638
Or like the Piccadilly Circus we went to?
Not even a circus.
709
00:29:51,672 --> 00:29:55,697
There's no elephants, there was no
cotton candy, there's no clowns.
710
00:29:56,292 --> 00:29:59,561
One bearded lady. She got all
rude when I marveled at her.
711
00:29:59,836 --> 00:30:01,342
Do you like the
Lord Fancyface Guy?
712
00:30:01,357 --> 00:30:04,269
Oh, he's awesome. He's everything
you would want in a boss.
713
00:30:04,286 --> 00:30:07,418
I mean, remote control
helicopters, talks funny.
714
00:30:07,441 --> 00:30:08,401
Total package.
715
00:30:08,418 --> 00:30:10,145
I think you should do it.
716
00:30:10,269 --> 00:30:12,119
When are you gonna have
another opportunity like this?
717
00:30:12,144 --> 00:30:14,588
- I mean... - And, plus, we can
deal with the distance, okay?
718
00:30:14,609 --> 00:30:17,081
Remember, I was in
Washington last year.
719
00:30:17,965 --> 00:30:19,476
He said he wanted me
to head up the company.
720
00:30:19,495 --> 00:30:22,015
I have no idea how
to run a nonprofit.
721
00:30:22,060 --> 00:30:23,544
Hey.
722
00:30:23,667 --> 00:30:27,608
You shined shoes for over two
years and never made a profit.
723
00:30:28,831 --> 00:30:31,141
Come on, you can hack this.
724
00:30:31,573 --> 00:30:33,604
I believe in you.
725
00:30:34,250 --> 00:30:36,425
But to replace you, I am
going to have to build
726
00:30:36,446 --> 00:30:39,083
a scarecrow replica of you
and take it to the movies.
727
00:30:39,328 --> 00:30:42,058
Seems like the only
logical solution.
728
00:30:47,681 --> 00:30:49,948
My point is, Ethel, that
729
00:30:50,716 --> 00:30:51,960
Ann's pregnant.
730
00:30:52,003 --> 00:30:53,697
And I'm the baby daddy!
731
00:30:53,762 --> 00:30:55,425
How wonderful for you.
732
00:30:55,460 --> 00:30:57,404
You don't seem very
excited for us.
733
00:30:57,423 --> 00:30:59,442
I barely know you,
734
00:30:59,504 --> 00:31:03,598
and I don't have to talk to
you unless it's about work.
735
00:31:04,489 --> 00:31:06,852
Man, I thought
this would be more satisfying.
736
00:31:06,878 --> 00:31:08,159
I agree.
737
00:31:08,381 --> 00:31:09,937
Wait a minute, what time is it?
738
00:31:10,097 --> 00:31:11,764
Has she landed yet?
739
00:31:12,787 --> 00:31:14,787
Oh, I'm so happy for you guys!
740
00:31:14,807 --> 00:31:17,657
Ohh, this is the greatest
day in the history of days.
741
00:31:17,693 --> 00:31:20,549
This day, a thousand years from now,
will be celebrated as the beginning
742
00:31:20,569 --> 00:31:22,797
of a new and better human race.
743
00:31:22,832 --> 00:31:25,572
I am so happy for you, I'm never letting
you go. I am not gonna let you go.
744
00:31:25,614 --> 00:31:28,045
Oh, oh, oh, eventually, she's
going to have to go back to work.
745
00:31:28,065 --> 00:31:29,453
Are you sure you
should be working?
746
00:31:29,471 --> 00:31:32,167
I mean, you should be resting
and getting fluids and--
747
00:31:32,179 --> 00:31:34,380
and cold compresses
and greasy foods.
748
00:31:34,417 --> 00:31:36,436
- That's for a hangover.
- Right, yeah, of course.
749
00:31:36,457 --> 00:31:38,557
I'm so goofed-up right now.
I'm so jet-lagged.
750
00:31:38,573 --> 00:31:41,305
I took a sleeping pill on the
plane, and then I changed my mind,
751
00:31:41,328 --> 00:31:43,858
so I took this thing called "Zapvigil,"
which, apparently, is what
752
00:31:43,870 --> 00:31:45,956
Israeli fighter pilots
use to stay awake.
753
00:31:45,974 --> 00:31:49,030
So right now, it looks like
I'm talking to a giant crab.
754
00:31:49,055 --> 00:31:50,568
Stay away from me, crab!
755
00:31:50,594 --> 00:31:52,914
[Laughter] I'm just kidding.
I know it's Ann.
756
00:31:52,928 --> 00:31:54,480
We are so glad you're back.
757
00:31:54,513 --> 00:31:57,086
We talked to, like, 50
people, and, frankly,
758
00:31:57,145 --> 00:31:59,179
not one of them gave us the
reaction that we were hoping for.
759
00:31:59,235 --> 00:32:02,020
And your reaction, from
someone we love so much,
760
00:32:02,047 --> 00:32:04,108
I mean, it just makes up
for all the other ones.
761
00:32:04,153 --> 00:32:05,820
- Ohh.
- Anyway, welcome home!
762
00:32:05,838 --> 00:32:07,113
Don't pinch me!
763
00:32:07,619 --> 00:32:11,470
Thank you all for coming, and
let me just say how truly,
764
00:32:11,488 --> 00:32:15,776
deeply trill it is to be standing
in this dope-ass conference room,
765
00:32:15,814 --> 00:32:18,739
addressing a group of people in a business
meeting. It's really a dream come true.
766
00:32:18,814 --> 00:32:21,964
Right now, I want to turn
the floor over to Jean-Ralphio,
767
00:32:21,996 --> 00:32:23,917
who has something to say.
768
00:32:27,606 --> 00:32:30,325
Tom, lawyer guy...
769
00:32:30,542 --> 00:32:31,955
daddy...
770
00:32:32,260 --> 00:32:34,376
Tom did not screw me
out of the company.
771
00:32:34,472 --> 00:32:37,614
He gave me every opportunity to
jump in at the ground floor,
772
00:32:37,651 --> 00:32:40,787
and I said no, not because I
thought it was a bad idea,
773
00:32:40,928 --> 00:32:43,809
but because--
and this is very important--
774
00:32:43,898 --> 00:32:46,967
I really didn't care about
what was happening.
775
00:32:47,114 --> 00:32:51,101
So why, exactly, did you lie when
I asked you what had happened?
776
00:32:51,135 --> 00:32:54,049
Daddy-D! Daddy, come on,
I lie to you all the time!
777
00:32:54,057 --> 00:32:55,942
All those math camps
I said I went to?
778
00:32:55,989 --> 00:32:58,664
I don't even know
what a math camp is!
779
00:32:58,751 --> 00:33:01,239
So all those postcards
that you sent me,
780
00:33:01,267 --> 00:33:03,451
all those trophies
that you'd won...
781
00:33:03,529 --> 00:33:07,711
♪ Trophies I bought
782
00:33:07,744 --> 00:33:08,519
[Giggles]
783
00:33:08,545 --> 00:33:11,036
I also have something to say.
[Sighs]
784
00:33:11,590 --> 00:33:13,833
I have done nothing wrong,
785
00:33:14,095 --> 00:33:16,329
ever, in my life.
786
00:33:16,476 --> 00:33:18,039
I know this...
787
00:33:18,722 --> 00:33:21,172
- and I love you.
- I love you too, daddy.
788
00:33:21,234 --> 00:33:23,254
Money, please!
789
00:33:23,310 --> 00:33:24,910
My money.
790
00:33:24,959 --> 00:33:28,479
Dr. Saperstein, your
son is my best friend.
791
00:33:28,498 --> 00:33:29,998
- Yeah.
- He's like a brother to me.
792
00:33:30,029 --> 00:33:34,221
But he's a disaster, and your daughter
seriously needs to be locked up
793
00:33:34,236 --> 00:33:35,780
in some sort of insane asylum.
794
00:33:35,814 --> 00:33:37,264
- Mm.
- On an island...
795
00:33:37,294 --> 00:33:38,544
- Ooh.
- In space.
796
00:33:38,559 --> 00:33:39,941
♪ Hold on
[Laughs]
797
00:33:39,980 --> 00:33:41,474
These two
798
00:33:41,499 --> 00:33:43,980
have been huge
disappointments to me.
799
00:33:44,039 --> 00:33:45,990
Come on, you love us.
800
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:48,424
Tell me you love
us, and then admit
801
00:33:48,443 --> 00:33:50,206
this guy looks like
Beaker from the Muppets.
802
00:33:50,223 --> 00:33:51,912
[Laughter]
Dad!
803
00:33:52,055 --> 00:33:53,911
[High-pitched]
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
804
00:33:54,036 --> 00:33:55,791
But seriously, what are
we doing here, though?
805
00:33:55,808 --> 00:33:57,129
- What are we doing here, dad?
- Like, what is this?
806
00:33:57,152 --> 00:33:58,469
- Why are we here?
- So...
807
00:33:58,506 --> 00:34:00,056
[Shouts] So...
808
00:34:00,606 --> 00:34:01,875
now you know the truth.
809
00:34:01,906 --> 00:34:04,472
- Will you back off?
- No, I will not stop.
810
00:34:04,513 --> 00:34:07,786
Yes, this all started as
vengeance for my children,
811
00:34:07,846 --> 00:34:10,252
but the company is
making money now.
812
00:34:10,387 --> 00:34:13,922
Why would I back off just 'cause these
nincompoops lie to me all the time?
813
00:34:14,025 --> 00:34:16,193
No, I'm not gonna back off.
814
00:34:16,233 --> 00:34:19,411
I'm gonna continue,
and I'm gonna crush you!
815
00:34:20,124 --> 00:34:22,638
All right, you two, are you
in for dinner tomorrow night?
816
00:34:22,662 --> 00:34:23,808
- Yes!
- Yes, daddy.
817
00:34:23,827 --> 00:34:25,572
Huh?
Blow me a kiss.
818
00:34:25,620 --> 00:34:26,541
Both: Mwah!
819
00:34:26,559 --> 00:34:27,685
- Mwah.
- Caught it.
820
00:34:27,692 --> 00:34:28,642
I love you, daddy!
821
00:34:28,675 --> 00:34:30,019
- Me too.
- I love you, daddy!
822
00:34:30,431 --> 00:34:32,706
Hey, are you gonna be
okay with Andy gone?
823
00:34:32,730 --> 00:34:34,331
Yeah, we'll be fine.
824
00:34:34,497 --> 00:34:36,516
Are you gonna be okay
with Ben still here?
825
00:34:36,547 --> 00:34:37,563
- April...
- What?
826
00:34:37,598 --> 00:34:39,699
I don't trust him.
I never have.
827
00:34:39,733 --> 00:34:42,201
- He's after your money.
- Hey, Gretel!
828
00:34:42,236 --> 00:34:44,787
Hello, it's me,
City Councilwoman Leslie Knope.
829
00:34:44,824 --> 00:34:47,825
And me, Odie the dog,
Garfield's enemy.
830
00:34:47,918 --> 00:34:49,868
Now, we have some great
news: we were in London,
831
00:34:49,889 --> 00:34:52,750
and we met a wonderful
woman from Mongolia.
832
00:34:52,769 --> 00:34:56,394
Yeah, her name was Khongordzol, and I
love her more than anything in the world.
833
00:34:56,444 --> 00:34:59,559
Khongordzol and...
Odie, here, were emailing,
834
00:34:59,584 --> 00:35:03,750
and she recommended a very
humane way to get rid of slugs.
835
00:35:03,784 --> 00:35:06,440
You sprinkle coffee grounds
on the affected area,
836
00:35:06,478 --> 00:35:09,334
and it drives the slugs away.
Isn't that great?
837
00:35:09,355 --> 00:35:10,975
I didn't want all
the slugs gone.
838
00:35:10,996 --> 00:35:12,808
I wanted most of them gone!
839
00:35:12,851 --> 00:35:15,314
Sorry. Well, we'll
put one slug back.
840
00:35:15,378 --> 00:35:17,097
Either way, your
problem is solved.
841
00:35:17,126 --> 00:35:19,478
Oh, my God,
that lady is the worst.
842
00:35:19,591 --> 00:35:21,283
She didn't even say thank you.
843
00:35:21,693 --> 00:35:23,081
That's not why
we do this, April.
844
00:35:23,132 --> 00:35:25,234
We do it because it's
good and it helps people,
845
00:35:25,314 --> 00:35:26,558
not to get the applause.
846
00:35:26,583 --> 00:35:28,364
Yeah, but doesn't
that bum you out?
847
00:35:28,397 --> 00:35:32,914
Well, sure, it would be nice if just one
person appreciated my work, at all.
848
00:35:33,580 --> 00:35:35,243
But that's the job--
849
00:35:35,324 --> 00:35:38,549
wiping slime and
shoveling slugs.
850
00:35:39,696 --> 00:35:41,713
All right. On to the
next complaint.
851
00:35:41,823 --> 00:35:46,143
[Indistinct P.A. announcement]
852
00:35:52,299 --> 00:35:55,918
[Train horn blows]
853
00:35:56,304 --> 00:35:59,478
Where the hell are you
sending me, Knope?
854
00:36:02,136 --> 00:36:04,571
- Morning, cutie.
- Morning, Jessica.
855
00:36:04,612 --> 00:36:05,387
Whoa.
856
00:36:05,419 --> 00:36:09,147
These were a gift from your British
friend, Lord Edgar Covington.
857
00:36:09,195 --> 00:36:11,420
He was very impressed
with you two.
858
00:36:11,564 --> 00:36:13,495
He sounded rich on the phone.
859
00:36:13,727 --> 00:36:16,571
I think he was calling
me from a helicopter.
860
00:36:16,658 --> 00:36:18,196
Could be. He owns two.
861
00:36:18,265 --> 00:36:19,299
[Sighs blissfully]
862
00:36:19,343 --> 00:36:22,738
So Andy's gonna stay there for
three months. I hope he's okay.
863
00:36:22,770 --> 00:36:25,089
He sent me an email this morning.
I guess he got on the wrong train
864
00:36:25,114 --> 00:36:27,159
on the way to work and got lost.
865
00:36:28,127 --> 00:36:30,150
Yeah, this isn't right.
866
00:36:30,645 --> 00:36:32,715
None of this looks familiar.
867
00:36:35,442 --> 00:36:36,981
Eddie?
868
00:36:37,882 --> 00:36:39,451
Uh-oh, Spaghettios.
869
00:36:39,535 --> 00:36:41,493
Oh, don't worry,
I'm sure he'll adjust.
870
00:36:41,530 --> 00:36:43,918
No, I named that
dog Spaghettios,
871
00:36:43,927 --> 00:36:45,704
and he just pooped
in your briefcase.
872
00:36:45,728 --> 00:36:47,808
- [Laughing] Oh, my.
- Okay.
873
00:36:48,088 --> 00:36:49,195
Come on, Sugarbutt!
874
00:36:49,211 --> 00:36:50,837
Oh, which one's Sugarbutt?
875
00:36:50,849 --> 00:36:54,545
That's you! Come on. We got
a board meeting, Sugarbutt.
876
00:36:54,576 --> 00:36:55,482
[Laughs]
877
00:36:56,236 --> 00:36:57,829
Wildly inappropriate.
878
00:36:58,545 --> 00:37:00,489
Do you think there's any
chance your dad will give up?
879
00:37:00,526 --> 00:37:03,669
I doubt it. He never gives up
on anything, except for my mom.
880
00:37:03,692 --> 00:37:06,494
When she turned 30,
he was like, "Get out!"
881
00:37:06,693 --> 00:37:07,581
[Sighs]
882
00:37:07,606 --> 00:37:09,056
Maybe I should just
throw in the towel.
883
00:37:09,084 --> 00:37:11,143
Your dad'll destroy me.
I'll be left with nothing.
884
00:37:11,183 --> 00:37:13,327
Thought I was a better-looking
version of Zuckerberg.
885
00:37:13,579 --> 00:37:16,040
Turns out I'm the better-looking
version of the Winklevoss twins.
886
00:37:16,060 --> 00:37:17,923
First of all,
unbelievable analogy.
887
00:37:17,946 --> 00:37:19,791
Second of all, what are you
talking about, man?
888
00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:22,138
You're Tommy Haverford!
You're an idea man.
889
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:25,123
When Babyface was your age, he
hadn't even signed Toni Braxton yet,
890
00:37:25,149 --> 00:37:26,824
let alone Usher.
891
00:37:27,526 --> 00:37:30,501
You're right.
I mean, I'm basically Babyface.
892
00:37:30,519 --> 00:37:32,269
You're basically Babyface!
893
00:37:32,311 --> 00:37:35,256
Okay, I'm gonna keep going,
and I'm gonna beat your dad.
894
00:37:35,302 --> 00:37:39,332
That's what I'm talking about! And
for me, it's a win-win either way.
895
00:37:39,350 --> 00:37:41,474
Either my best friend
emerges triumphant,
896
00:37:41,499 --> 00:37:44,443
or my dad beats you, and I get
all that money when he dies.
897
00:37:44,477 --> 00:37:46,696
I'm actually getting dinner with my
dad right now. You want to come?
898
00:37:46,696 --> 00:37:47,846
No!
899
00:37:47,946 --> 00:37:48,896
[Sighs]
900
00:37:48,921 --> 00:37:51,765
I mean, this is all pretty
overwhelming, you know?
901
00:37:53,092 --> 00:37:54,740
You know what I just read?
902
00:37:54,818 --> 00:37:58,049
Right now, our baby is the
size of a green olive.
903
00:37:58,089 --> 00:37:59,193
[Chuckles]
904
00:37:59,218 --> 00:38:00,662
Isn't that wild?
905
00:38:00,681 --> 00:38:01,897
It is.
906
00:38:02,151 --> 00:38:03,801
A green olive.
907
00:38:03,894 --> 00:38:05,388
A little high in sodium.
908
00:38:05,438 --> 00:38:07,403
I would have preferred a
chickpea or a cherry tomato.
909
00:38:07,425 --> 00:38:09,793
- Our baby's not a salad.
- Yes, right.
910
00:38:10,061 --> 00:38:12,162
It's just weird, you know?
911
00:38:12,209 --> 00:38:17,750
I mean, for so long, this little
green olive was just our thing,
912
00:38:17,948 --> 00:38:20,004
and now it's everyone's thing.
913
00:38:20,052 --> 00:38:22,865
Every time Jerry looks at
me, he's thinking about...
914
00:38:22,890 --> 00:38:24,739
the milk in my boobs.
915
00:38:25,465 --> 00:38:27,359
It's still just our thing.
916
00:38:28,458 --> 00:38:30,513
It'll always be just our thing.
917
00:38:31,465 --> 00:38:34,379
That's why it's so wonderful
and why we'll love it so much.
918
00:38:39,063 --> 00:38:41,591
You know, Olive's kind of
a cute name, if it's a girl.
919
00:38:41,604 --> 00:38:42,735
I prefer "Chickpea."
920
00:38:42,772 --> 00:38:44,191
Because it's lower in sodium?
921
00:38:44,220 --> 00:38:46,158
- Yes, exactly.
- Okay.
922
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,505
- Hey.
- Hey.
923
00:38:50,569 --> 00:38:51,461
Are you leaving?
924
00:38:51,495 --> 00:38:53,678
Well, I just have to get a
jump start on my next phase.
925
00:38:53,690 --> 00:38:58,318
Let's see, it is "48-Hour
Roadkill Scrape-athon."
926
00:38:58,587 --> 00:38:59,762
Oh, brother.
927
00:38:59,824 --> 00:39:02,525
Okay, well, before you go,
I have something for you.
928
00:39:02,829 --> 00:39:07,116
I feel like you're getting sad about
how stupid and lame people are,
929
00:39:07,264 --> 00:39:09,747
and that is my job, not yours.
930
00:39:09,957 --> 00:39:13,095
So I'm gonna read this
letter to you, out loud,
931
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,711
but if you hug me afterwards,
I swear to God, I'll scream
932
00:39:15,723 --> 00:39:17,941
and pull my hair out and
maybe punch you in the face.
933
00:39:17,988 --> 00:39:19,312
Okay?
934
00:39:19,650 --> 00:39:21,370
- Okay.
- Please sit.
935
00:39:22,289 --> 00:39:23,589
[Clears throat]
936
00:39:23,645 --> 00:39:25,396
"Dear award committee
members..."
937
00:39:25,430 --> 00:39:26,411
[Sobbing]
938
00:39:26,436 --> 00:39:28,686
Leslie, I didn't even start.
939
00:39:28,711 --> 00:39:30,275
Okay, I'm sorry.
940
00:39:30,660 --> 00:39:31,623
Go ahead.
941
00:39:31,670 --> 00:39:33,220
"Dear award committee members,
942
00:39:33,253 --> 00:39:36,069
"where I live, there are
a lot of apathetic people,
943
00:39:36,427 --> 00:39:39,529
"people who don't care at all about
what they do or how they do it.
944
00:39:39,609 --> 00:39:43,526
"They let the world wash over them and
barely notice anyone else is even there.
945
00:39:43,701 --> 00:39:46,120
"Leslie Knope is not
one of these people.
946
00:39:46,309 --> 00:39:50,106
"She cares about everything
and everyone in our town.
947
00:39:50,141 --> 00:39:51,442
"I don't know how she does it.
948
00:39:51,470 --> 00:39:54,751
"People come to her with the
pettiest, stupidest problems,
949
00:39:54,763 --> 00:39:59,194
"and she cares-- like, really, actually
cares-- what happens to them.
950
00:39:59,263 --> 00:40:02,082
"And if you're lucky
enough to be her friend,
951
00:40:02,132 --> 00:40:04,336
"your life gets
better every day.
952
00:40:04,368 --> 00:40:08,837
"She spends every waking moment thinking
of new ways to make her friends happy.
953
00:40:09,166 --> 00:40:11,429
"There is something wonderful
about seeing someone
954
00:40:11,446 --> 00:40:13,785
"who has found her
true purpose on earth.
955
00:40:13,823 --> 00:40:17,989
"For some people, I guess that's being an
astronaut or a hot dog-eating champion.
956
00:40:18,197 --> 00:40:22,184
"For Leslie, her true purpose
on earth, her true meaning,
957
00:40:22,201 --> 00:40:25,703
"is making
people's lives better.
958
00:40:26,448 --> 00:40:28,280
"That's what I love about her,
959
00:40:28,404 --> 00:40:31,422
"and that's why she
deserves this award.
960
00:40:31,990 --> 00:40:33,240
"Sincerely...
961
00:40:33,258 --> 00:40:34,579
Satan."
962
00:40:35,718 --> 00:40:37,893
- You're getting hugged right now.
- No, I told you not to.
963
00:40:37,931 --> 00:40:40,750
- I'm giving you a hug.
- No! Stay away! No!
964
00:40:42,052 --> 00:40:47,203
All my life I've avoided Europe and
its multitudes of terribleness.
965
00:40:47,225 --> 00:40:51,893
But it turns out, much to my surprise,
there is actually one place in Europe
966
00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:53,902
that is worth seeing:
967
00:40:54,557 --> 00:40:57,538
these tiny islands
off the coast of Scotland,
968
00:40:57,589 --> 00:41:00,127
where God's chosen
elixirs are distilled,
969
00:41:00,150 --> 00:41:02,606
barreled, and prepared
for consumption.
970
00:41:02,988 --> 00:41:05,894
This is worth the trip.
971
00:41:07,204 --> 00:41:08,530
"Dear Ron,
972
00:41:08,545 --> 00:41:12,251
"you have now reached the
cliffsides overlooking the islands.
973
00:41:12,329 --> 00:41:15,535
"As you sit here and
gaze upon the waters,
974
00:41:15,561 --> 00:41:20,161
"please read out loud the poem by
the great Scotsman Robert Burns.
975
00:41:20,238 --> 00:41:21,851
Love, Leslie."
976
00:41:23,485 --> 00:41:26,601
"Oh, were my love
yon lilac fair,
977
00:41:26,624 --> 00:41:29,376
"with purple blossoms
to the spring,
978
00:41:29,531 --> 00:41:32,425
"and I, a bird to shelter there,
979
00:41:32,506 --> 00:41:35,342
"when wearied
on my little wing,
980
00:41:35,720 --> 00:41:38,689
"how I would mourn
when it was torn
981
00:41:38,723 --> 00:41:41,621
"by autumn wild
and winter rude,
982
00:41:41,976 --> 00:41:44,927
"but I would sing
on wanton wing,
983
00:41:45,045 --> 00:41:48,714
when youthful may
its bloom renewed."
984
00:41:54,872 --> 00:41:57,958
I don't know what she thought
I'd get out of that.
985
00:42:00,589 --> 00:42:02,172
- Nice to be home.
- It is.
986
00:42:02,190 --> 00:42:06,726
But I mean, I love Pawnee, I will always
love Pawnee, but London is amazing.
987
00:42:06,818 --> 00:42:11,213
And Silkeborg sounds amazing,
and Mongolia sounds amazing.
988
00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:13,765
Their mayor is a professional
Wolverine Wrangler.
989
00:42:13,769 --> 00:42:15,353
Fine, Mongolia
sounds terrifying,
990
00:42:15,397 --> 00:42:19,145
but the world is a very big place,
and I've seen very little of it.
991
00:42:19,390 --> 00:42:22,565
Maybe we should travel more,
expand our horizons.
992
00:42:22,619 --> 00:42:24,887
You know, I've had
the same kinds of thoughts.
993
00:42:24,930 --> 00:42:27,693
We should keep that in mind,
see where it leads us.
994
00:42:27,707 --> 00:42:28,728
Yeah.
995
00:42:29,047 --> 00:42:30,747
- Oh, there's one more
thing I want to try. - Mm.
996
00:42:30,778 --> 00:42:32,578
I got you something in London:
997
00:42:32,604 --> 00:42:34,453
a traditional barrister's wig.
998
00:42:34,484 --> 00:42:37,048
- Oh.
- Wear it for me.
999
00:42:37,251 --> 00:42:38,507
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
1000
00:42:38,642 --> 00:42:40,030
All right.
1001
00:42:44,126 --> 00:42:45,226
[Seductively] What's up?
1002
00:42:45,260 --> 00:42:46,585
No, not sexy.
1003
00:42:46,620 --> 00:42:47,706
Failed experiment.
Take it off.
1004
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:49,716
- Okay, just--okay.
- Just take it off. No.
1005
00:42:49,758 --> 00:42:59,758
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www.addic7ed.com
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