1
00:00:20,226 --> 00:00:22,552
SUPERINTENDENT CHAMBERS:
Skinner!!!
2
00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:29,003
(exclaiming)
3
00:00:33,752 --> 00:00:35,703
(school bell ringing)
4
00:00:38,307 --> 00:00:39,390
(Barney belches)
5
00:00:39,424 --> 00:00:41,392
(whistle blows)
6
00:00:41,426 --> 00:00:43,427
(yells)
7
00:01:00,257 --> 00:01:01,691
(tires screech)
8
00:01:03,060 --> 00:01:04,460
D'oh!
9
00:01:04,495 --> 00:01:05,461
(tires screeching)
10
00:01:05,496 --> 00:01:07,096
(grunts)
11
00:01:10,501 --> 00:01:12,502
(Bart chuckles)
12
00:01:16,006 --> 00:01:17,265
(grunts, groans)
13
00:01:17,290 --> 00:01:21,290
♪ The Simpsons 25x01 ♪
Homerland
Original Air Date on September 29, 2013
14
00:01:21,291 --> 00:01:24,791
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
15
00:01:24,882 --> 00:01:27,049
♪
16
00:01:30,621 --> 00:01:32,889
America faces
an ominous new threat...
17
00:01:32,923 --> 00:01:34,757
terrorism.
18
00:01:34,792 --> 00:01:36,225
We must be vigilant,
19
00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:39,329
secure every home,
every church,
20
00:01:39,363 --> 00:01:42,231
every Kwik-E-Mart
and presidential library.
21
00:01:42,266 --> 00:01:44,867
PRESIDENT CLINTON: I grew up
in a little town in Arkansas,
22
00:01:44,902 --> 00:01:47,236
whose name, ironically, was Terrorism.
23
00:01:51,575 --> 00:01:53,109
(loud explosion)
24
00:01:54,912 --> 00:01:56,913
(explosion, television static)
25
00:01:58,916 --> 00:02:02,952
Ooh, there's new marshmallows
in the Belfast Charms!
26
00:02:02,986 --> 00:02:05,688
No! No, that's
Bart's cereal.
27
00:02:05,723 --> 00:02:11,561
It's the only way I can get him
to take his "vitamins."
28
00:02:11,595 --> 00:02:13,563
(sighs)
29
00:02:13,597 --> 00:02:15,565
Eat up.
30
00:02:15,599 --> 00:02:19,769
The sum of the square roots of any two
sides of an isosceles triangle is equal
31
00:02:19,803 --> 00:02:21,404
to the square root
of the remaining side.
32
00:02:21,438 --> 00:02:23,206
- That's not right.
- Yes, it is.
33
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,742
They're my lines as the
Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.
34
00:02:25,776 --> 00:02:28,378
Okay, I'm ready for
the Nuclear Workers Convention.
35
00:02:28,412 --> 00:02:31,981
It's a little sad... the guys who
did the funny skit last year,
36
00:02:32,015 --> 00:02:33,616
well, they're all very sick.
37
00:02:33,650 --> 00:02:35,184
Did you pack
everything you need?
38
00:02:35,219 --> 00:02:36,452
Even better.
39
00:02:36,487 --> 00:02:40,328
I never unpacked from the time
we went to Hawaii.
40
00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:47,296
Whoo! My lava's almost cooled!
41
00:02:47,331 --> 00:02:49,399
(sizzling)
42
00:02:49,433 --> 00:02:50,466
(thump)
43
00:02:50,501 --> 00:02:52,902
I'm still cold.
44
00:02:52,936 --> 00:02:57,106
Oh, a whole weekend
away from my family.
45
00:02:57,141 --> 00:03:01,978
I can't believe I have to miss
taking the kids to buy gym uniforms.
46
00:03:02,012 --> 00:03:04,013
Send me a picture?
47
00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:09,152
- Poor guy.
- Salt of the earth.
48
00:03:13,557 --> 00:03:16,459
ALL (chanting):
Convention! Convention!
49
00:03:16,493 --> 00:03:19,295
Convention! Convention!
50
00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:20,863
Convention!
51
00:03:20,898 --> 00:03:22,900
STEWARDESS:
Oxygen masks on.
52
00:03:22,925 --> 00:03:25,945
Convention! Convention!
53
00:03:33,891 --> 00:03:36,839
(air horn blasting,
siren blasting)
54
00:03:37,579 --> 00:03:38,984
Man I love conventions.
55
00:03:39,009 --> 00:03:41,880
Yeah, theyre the perfect combination
of work and binge drinking.
56
00:03:41,905 --> 00:03:44,520
Now look guys, we are here
for one important reason.
57
00:03:44,545 --> 00:03:46,400
To get free swag.
58
00:03:46,425 --> 00:03:50,075
Swag, I'm gonna
grab forever.
59
00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:53,059
Somethin' I really don't need.
Swag!
60
00:03:53,084 --> 00:03:55,952
I'm gonna have
40 key chains.
61
00:03:55,977 --> 00:03:59,129
And I don't even have 40 keys. Swag!
62
00:03:59,154 --> 00:04:01,973
Interested in learning a procedure
that could save your life?
63
00:04:01,974 --> 00:04:04,540
♪ More free stuff ♪
64
00:04:04,541 --> 00:04:06,476
- ♪ More free stuff ♪
- Uh, all I have are these spec sheets.
65
00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:07,710
♪ More free stuff,
more free stuff ♪
66
00:04:07,744 --> 00:04:09,879
ALL:
♪ Swag!
67
00:04:11,081 --> 00:04:12,782
(grunt, thud)
68
00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:20,890
(gasps) There's that woman I always have
a "same time next year" affair with.
69
00:04:22,926 --> 00:04:26,262
And she's with her frumpy friend I always
have dinner with when you two disappear.
70
00:04:26,296 --> 00:04:27,597
Mm-hmm-hmm.
71
00:04:27,631 --> 00:04:28,598
(slurps)
72
00:04:28,632 --> 00:04:31,367
Put up your nukes!
(chuckles)
73
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:32,668
Halpern!
74
00:04:32,703 --> 00:04:34,670
Hey-hey! The wild
man of Wichita!
75
00:04:34,705 --> 00:04:38,174
I still haven't forgiven you for
putting that dead goat in my bed.
76
00:04:38,208 --> 00:04:40,476
He wasn't dead till you
rolled over on him! Ha!
77
00:04:40,511 --> 00:04:41,611
(laughing): Oh, yeah.
Take that.
78
00:04:41,645 --> 00:04:43,112
In your face, boy.
79
00:04:43,146 --> 00:04:44,614
Ow! Ow!
Hey!
80
00:04:44,648 --> 00:04:46,282
(angry grunting)
81
00:04:46,316 --> 00:04:48,384
I'll kill you!
You son of a...!
82
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,386
(deep panting)
Oh, come here, you.
83
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:53,890
Oh...
Ah, yeah.
84
00:04:53,924 --> 00:04:59,295
It could be, if we introduce,
Sherman from I.T... To my good friend spike.
85
00:04:59,329 --> 00:05:01,631
Halpern, what will you
think of next?
86
00:05:01,665 --> 00:05:03,299
Nothing.
This is it.
87
00:05:03,333 --> 00:05:05,601
(slurring): Hey,
here's a brainstorm for you.
88
00:05:05,636 --> 00:05:09,305
Check if it's plugged in
before you call I.T.!
89
00:05:09,339 --> 00:05:13,809
You think I like talking you monkeys
through a password change?!
90
00:05:13,844 --> 00:05:14,810
(grunts)
91
00:05:14,845 --> 00:05:16,812
(laughter)
92
00:05:21,285 --> 00:05:23,286
(slurring):
To texting!
93
00:05:27,824 --> 00:05:31,060
Hello. Where's Homer?
94
00:05:31,094 --> 00:05:33,930
Homer, Homer... when
did I see him last?
95
00:05:33,964 --> 00:05:36,332
Geez, I don't know.
(Lenny vomits)
96
00:05:36,366 --> 00:05:41,504
Yeah, Homer's a great guy, but that doesn't mean I
constantly think about whether he's still alive or not.
97
00:05:46,743 --> 00:05:49,245
You're taking a picture of
'em in their moment of grief?
98
00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:52,848
It's okay. This camera has
an "auto cheer" feature.
99
00:05:54,651 --> 00:05:55,818
Aw...
Aw...
100
00:05:55,852 --> 00:05:57,820
Well, he's not
in the Boise morgue.
101
00:05:57,854 --> 00:06:02,158
Maybe he was mistaken for a dead
elephant and flown back to Kenya.
102
00:06:02,192 --> 00:06:04,160
You're talking
about my husband.
103
00:06:04,194 --> 00:06:07,196
To spare your feelings,
we'll just call him the Blob.
104
00:06:07,230 --> 00:06:11,866
Two to one says the Blob is stuck in the
water-intake pipe at the reservoir.
105
00:06:11,868 --> 00:06:16,005
Please, I need people here
who are helpful and sensitive.
106
00:06:16,039 --> 00:06:20,843
Sorry I'm late, everyone. I had some trouble
getting the voice mails off the 9-1-1 line.
107
00:06:20,877 --> 00:06:23,346
Why does everyone have to talk
so fast and panicky?
108
00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:26,649
MAN (slowly and clearly):
A man with a gun is in my house.
109
00:06:26,683 --> 00:06:27,817
Gibberish.
110
00:06:27,851 --> 00:06:29,251
(barking)
111
00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:35,558
Hello, everyone.
112
00:06:35,592 --> 00:06:38,089
Homie! What happened to you?
113
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,216
I overslept, lost my cell
phone, missed my flight.
114
00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:42,565
Why didn't you call us?
115
00:06:42,599 --> 00:06:46,535
Well, all the pay phones at the airport
were replaced by self-serve yogurt.
116
00:06:46,570 --> 00:06:49,872
I ate all the cookie dough
toppings a man could want.
117
00:06:49,906 --> 00:06:52,875
So many cookies
will never be born.
118
00:06:52,909 --> 00:06:57,980
Well, I guess all that matters
is everything's back to normal.
119
00:06:58,015 --> 00:07:00,016
♪
120
00:07:06,957 --> 00:07:09,525
(explosion)
121
00:07:14,531 --> 00:07:17,233
Yes. Back to normal.
122
00:07:24,807 --> 00:07:26,441
Dear Christian God...
123
00:07:26,475 --> 00:07:28,943
- Hey!
- Sorry. Dear God...
124
00:07:28,978 --> 00:07:30,612
you know which
one I mean...
125
00:07:30,646 --> 00:07:33,014
thank you for
returning our Homie.
126
00:07:33,048 --> 00:07:36,251
He's still got a lot of
unfinished business down here.
127
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,320
Amen.
128
00:07:39,355 --> 00:07:41,723
I'm glad you're back, Dad.
129
00:07:41,757 --> 00:07:44,659
It's hard to sleep
with one unkissed cheek.
130
00:07:44,693 --> 00:07:46,661
Yeah, it's tough being man
of the house.
131
00:07:46,695 --> 00:07:48,563
You left some big underpants
to fill.
132
00:07:48,597 --> 00:07:51,065
I didn't know they made
Underoos in size 52.
133
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:53,001
They're called
Superoos, son.
134
00:07:53,035 --> 00:07:55,503
With pictures of the cast
of The Expendables.
135
00:07:55,538 --> 00:07:58,540
More like The Expandables.
(chuckles)
136
00:08:00,075 --> 00:08:01,643
Why didn't you
strangle me?
137
00:08:01,677 --> 00:08:04,879
That kind of small-scale
violence solves nothing.
138
00:08:04,914 --> 00:08:06,381
Couldn't agree more.
139
00:08:06,415 --> 00:08:07,982
Now to celebrate.
140
00:08:08,017 --> 00:08:12,020
Ta-da! Pork chops
crusted with Cheeto dust.
141
00:08:15,925 --> 00:08:18,626
Uh, I'll pass
on the pork.
142
00:08:18,661 --> 00:08:20,161
(spits)
143
00:08:22,698 --> 00:08:26,434
I'll just enjoy these green
beans with slivered almonds.
144
00:08:26,468 --> 00:08:29,070
Mmm, so slivered.
145
00:08:29,104 --> 00:08:31,105
Mmm.
146
00:08:34,076 --> 00:08:38,046
(quietly): Bart, why is the dad I always
wished for creeping me out?
147
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,649
I don't know. 'Cause you're
incapable of experiencing joy?
148
00:08:41,684 --> 00:08:43,218
Yay.
(groans)
149
00:08:43,252 --> 00:08:44,619
Point taken.
150
00:08:44,653 --> 00:08:46,888
Dad, what's that
on your lap?
151
00:08:46,922 --> 00:08:48,056
A napkin.
152
00:08:48,090 --> 00:08:49,557
(others gasp)
153
00:08:51,594 --> 00:08:55,563
Glad you're back, buddy. You got
a lot of catching up to do.
154
00:09:02,304 --> 00:09:04,272
(grunting, panting)
155
00:09:04,306 --> 00:09:06,875
Can I just get a glass of water?
156
00:09:06,909 --> 00:09:09,377
Water? That stuff killed
my grandmother.
157
00:09:09,411 --> 00:09:12,080
So sad.
158
00:09:17,419 --> 00:09:21,256
I've been having snuggle dreams.
159
00:09:21,290 --> 00:09:24,688
Marge, I changed in Boise.
160
00:09:24,727 --> 00:09:28,663
I'm not sure a man who eats right
and doesn't drink can be good in bed.
161
00:09:28,697 --> 00:09:31,099
- Well, what made you...?
- You're so beautiful
162
00:09:31,133 --> 00:09:34,269
when I cut you off in
the middle of a question.
163
00:09:34,303 --> 00:09:36,537
(both moaning)
164
00:09:37,573 --> 00:09:40,041
(gasps)
Oh. Oh, my.
165
00:09:40,075 --> 00:09:41,843
What's that thing
you're doing?
166
00:09:41,877 --> 00:09:44,279
HOMER (sultrily):
Moving my body.
167
00:09:44,313 --> 00:09:46,781
MARGE (chuckling):
Oh.
168
00:09:46,815 --> 00:09:50,351
(humming happily)
169
00:09:50,386 --> 00:09:54,422
Don't you think it's weird that Dad
stopped eating pork and drinking beer?
170
00:09:54,456 --> 00:09:57,458
Who cares what happened? Daddy's back.
171
00:09:57,493 --> 00:09:59,227
(grunts)
172
00:10:00,462 --> 00:10:02,063
(humming happily)
173
00:10:11,206 --> 00:10:13,675
Something happened to Dad
on that trip.
174
00:10:13,709 --> 00:10:17,812
This is worse than when he went to New Orleans
and came back with a Southern accent.
175
00:10:17,846 --> 00:10:20,315
(deep Southern accent):
Uh, how y'all doin'?
176
00:10:20,349 --> 00:10:22,517
(crunch)
177
00:10:23,519 --> 00:10:25,739
(dog barking in distance)
178
00:10:25,779 --> 00:10:29,763
Chief Wiggum, how come every time there's a
terrorist chatter in this town, you come to me?
179
00:10:29,781 --> 00:10:32,827
Lay off, Apu. When I look at
people, I don't see colors.
180
00:10:32,861 --> 00:10:34,876
I just see crackpot religions.
181
00:10:34,915 --> 00:10:38,166
Chief, is there really a terrorist threat
to Springfield?
182
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,569
Yeah. I got
a very important phone call.
183
00:10:41,603 --> 00:10:43,371
(phone rings)
Yello?
184
00:10:43,405 --> 00:10:45,206
MAN:
Is this line secure?
185
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,875
Uh, it's a little jiggly
but it'll hold.
186
00:10:47,910 --> 00:10:51,713
We got intel... uh, that's short
for a word I don't know...
187
00:10:51,747 --> 00:10:53,881
Intelligence?
I don't believe so, no.
188
00:10:53,916 --> 00:10:57,986
Anyway, this intel says that
someone in town has been turned
189
00:10:58,020 --> 00:11:00,588
and they're working for terrorists.
(gasps)
190
00:11:00,622 --> 00:11:03,491
Now, I got to go check
my other suspects.
191
00:11:03,525 --> 00:11:05,326
Uh-huh.
192
00:11:05,361 --> 00:11:07,462
But I may be back.
193
00:11:10,699 --> 00:11:13,201
Huh?
194
00:11:13,235 --> 00:11:16,204
(gasps)
Dad's kneeling on a prayer mat.
195
00:11:16,238 --> 00:11:18,873
He doesn't believe in kneeling.
196
00:11:18,907 --> 00:11:22,543
(chanting indistinctly)
197
00:11:22,578 --> 00:11:25,613
Huh? It looks like he's praying.
198
00:11:26,648 --> 00:11:29,217
To the east. The Middle East.
199
00:11:29,251 --> 00:11:30,885
Mecca.
200
00:11:37,893 --> 00:11:39,994
(quietly): He's targeting
the nuclear plant.
201
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,768
Meow?
202
00:11:46,802 --> 00:11:49,037
If you are a cat, prove it.
203
00:11:49,071 --> 00:11:52,040
Do you hate Mondays,
like Garfield? (screeches)
204
00:11:52,074 --> 00:11:54,942
And do you love lasagna,
like me?
205
00:11:54,977 --> 00:11:56,377
Meow.
206
00:11:56,412 --> 00:11:58,446
Okay then.
207
00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,814
(humming happily)
208
00:12:03,419 --> 00:12:07,221
Mom, I have to tell you something
about Dad, something big!
209
00:12:07,256 --> 00:12:10,591
I know. He's changed.
210
00:12:10,626 --> 00:12:11,659
Exactly.
211
00:12:11,693 --> 00:12:12,894
For the better.
212
00:12:12,928 --> 00:12:14,839
- And men don't change that way.
- But-but...
213
00:12:14,863 --> 00:12:16,762
Do you know what
we're doing on Sunday?
214
00:12:16,791 --> 00:12:19,433
Brunch with the Hibberts.
Then the tile store.
215
00:12:19,501 --> 00:12:23,871
He's like a husband
in a widow's memory... perfect.
216
00:12:23,906 --> 00:12:26,507
(grunting)
217
00:12:26,542 --> 00:12:28,509
Perfect.
218
00:12:28,544 --> 00:12:30,778
Perfect.
219
00:12:35,484 --> 00:12:38,686
(beeping)
220
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,022
(phone rings)
FBI.
221
00:12:41,056 --> 00:12:43,257
I think someone I love
is a terrorist.
222
00:12:43,292 --> 00:12:44,859
Does that make me crazy?
223
00:12:44,893 --> 00:12:46,861
No, no. Not at all.
224
00:12:46,895 --> 00:12:49,864
It took me two hours to get
home. Traffic was crazy.
225
00:12:49,898 --> 00:12:51,699
Are you people
talking about me?
226
00:12:51,733 --> 00:12:53,868
No. We're not even
here right now.
227
00:13:04,913 --> 00:13:06,881
742 Evergreen Terrace.
I'll be right there.
228
00:13:06,915 --> 00:13:08,816
And don't believe what
you've heard about me.
229
00:13:08,851 --> 00:13:11,853
I haven't heard anything
about you except from you.
230
00:13:13,555 --> 00:13:16,724
Hanging up
the receiver, eh?
231
00:13:16,758 --> 00:13:18,626
(gasps)
How much did you hear?
232
00:13:18,660 --> 00:13:19,961
How much did you say?
233
00:13:19,995 --> 00:13:21,028
Nothing, really.
234
00:13:21,063 --> 00:13:23,197
So I heard half of nothing.
235
00:13:23,232 --> 00:13:26,234
Dad, you're scary
when you're calm and focused.
236
00:13:26,268 --> 00:13:28,970
Lisa, I'll miss you
when this is all over.
237
00:13:29,004 --> 00:13:30,338
When what's all over?
238
00:13:30,372 --> 00:13:32,340
This conversation.
(chuckles nervously)
239
00:13:32,374 --> 00:13:34,542
See you on the other side.
240
00:13:34,576 --> 00:13:35,877
What other side?
241
00:13:35,911 --> 00:13:37,812
Of the house.
Where the fireplace is.
242
00:13:37,846 --> 00:13:39,547
We're toasting marshmallows.
243
00:13:39,581 --> 00:13:41,315
Marsh...
244
00:13:41,350 --> 00:13:43,551
mallows.
245
00:13:54,045 --> 00:13:56,013
I'm Bart Simpson.
Who the hell are you?
246
00:13:56,047 --> 00:13:57,848
Agent Crawford, FBI.
247
00:13:57,882 --> 00:14:00,083
You guys know I don't talk
to field agents.
248
00:14:00,118 --> 00:14:01,919
Get your boss on the phone.
249
00:14:01,953 --> 00:14:04,554
I'm not here for you.
I'm here for your dad.
250
00:14:04,589 --> 00:14:06,556
What do you want
with his dad?
251
00:14:06,591 --> 00:14:08,191
Go back to
sleep, Milhouse.
252
00:14:08,226 --> 00:14:09,593
How do you know my name?
253
00:14:09,627 --> 00:14:12,129
I didn't. But I do now.
254
00:14:13,131 --> 00:14:15,299
- Don't talk.
- Okay.
255
00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:18,392
I want you to know I'm the best there
is at finding out what you're up to.
256
00:14:18,417 --> 00:14:20,026
- Ooh.
- I can torture you.
257
00:14:20,052 --> 00:14:23,373
I can give you incredible sex. Or you
can just tell me what I want to know.
258
00:14:23,408 --> 00:14:25,409
- What was the first one again?
- I see.
259
00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:27,210
- You're stupid.
- Hey.
260
00:14:27,245 --> 00:14:29,212
I'm the one in bed
with two beautiful women.
261
00:14:29,247 --> 00:14:30,213
(gasps)
262
00:14:30,248 --> 00:14:33,150
You think
I'm beautiful? Oh!
263
00:14:33,184 --> 00:14:35,118
In a breaking-and-entering
kind of way.
264
00:14:35,153 --> 00:14:37,120
Well, give me something,
or I'm not leaving.
265
00:14:37,155 --> 00:14:38,889
(snoring)
266
00:14:38,923 --> 00:14:42,326
Let's just say I've got
to get to work on time.
267
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,729
And if you knew me, you'd know
just how odd that sounds.
268
00:14:45,763 --> 00:14:49,166
- Who are you talking to?
- No one.
269
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,302
You're in too deep, Annie.
Get out.
270
00:14:52,337 --> 00:14:54,073
Are you real, or my imagination?
271
00:14:54,112 --> 00:14:56,480
Either way,
my advice is sound.
272
00:14:58,309 --> 00:15:00,944
I love my job.
273
00:15:00,979 --> 00:15:05,349
HOMER (à la Islamic call
to prayer): ♪ It is the climax
274
00:15:05,383 --> 00:15:07,284
♪ What everything's been
275
00:15:07,318 --> 00:15:11,755
♪ Buil...
276
00:15:11,789 --> 00:15:13,323
♪ Di-ing to
277
00:15:13,358 --> 00:15:18,362
♪ Hope it pays off for you
278
00:15:18,396 --> 00:15:19,796
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh.
279
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,298
(beeping)
280
00:15:21,332 --> 00:15:24,201
- What you got there, Homer?
- Weird thing under a tarp.
281
00:15:24,235 --> 00:15:26,870
That's what I thought.
Have a good one. (laughs)
282
00:15:26,904 --> 00:15:29,539
You laugh now, but
you won't be laughing soon.
283
00:15:29,574 --> 00:15:33,977
He's right, because now I go back to
remembering that my cat just died.
284
00:15:34,012 --> 00:15:36,513
He's in.
(knocking)
285
00:15:36,547 --> 00:15:39,349
One sunrise
burrito, please.
286
00:15:39,384 --> 00:15:40,317
Fine!
287
00:15:43,154 --> 00:15:45,389
FEMALE VOICE:
Facial recognition required.
288
00:15:45,423 --> 00:15:46,823
(high-pitched whirring)
289
00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:48,592
Welcome, Mr. Burns.
290
00:16:01,439 --> 00:16:02,806
(grunts)
Dad?
291
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,474
Huh? How'd you get in here?
292
00:16:04,509 --> 00:16:06,877
Girl Scout cookies
get you in anywhere.
293
00:16:06,911 --> 00:16:08,311
Please don't do this, Dad.
294
00:16:08,346 --> 00:16:10,514
I don't know what horrors
you saw in Boise,
295
00:16:10,548 --> 00:16:12,916
but it's not worth
blowing up everyone you love.
296
00:16:12,950 --> 00:16:14,418
I'm not blowing up the plant.
297
00:16:14,452 --> 00:16:15,819
(chuckling):
Oh.
298
00:16:15,853 --> 00:16:19,723
Just harmlessly stopping it from
doing more damage to Mother Earth.
299
00:16:19,757 --> 00:16:23,093
Is that something your terrorist
masters told you to tell me?
300
00:16:23,127 --> 00:16:24,761
(sighs)
Yes.
301
00:16:24,796 --> 00:16:27,998
My terrorist masters are always
talking about you, Lisa.
302
00:16:28,032 --> 00:16:32,302
I missed my flight,
so I got in a van...
303
00:16:38,242 --> 00:16:40,210
...with some eco-friendly
activists.
304
00:16:40,244 --> 00:16:42,345
They wanted gas, grass or ass,
305
00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:44,881
and, brother, I had the ass.
306
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:47,250
They taught me something
I found shocking.
307
00:16:47,285 --> 00:16:50,387
Pigs aren't happy
to be made into pork chops.
308
00:16:50,421 --> 00:16:52,722
This T-shirt lied to me.
309
00:16:52,757 --> 00:16:56,393
And they also gave me
an alcohol detox.
310
00:16:56,427 --> 00:16:58,495
♪ Nothing's shakin'
on Shakedown Street ♪
311
00:17:00,698 --> 00:17:02,899
♪ Used to be the heart of town
312
00:17:04,902 --> 00:17:07,871
♪ Don't tell me this town
ain't got no heart... ♪
313
00:17:07,905 --> 00:17:09,606
Oh! Oh!
314
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:13,376
Oh, I've been listening
to this song for three days,
315
00:17:13,411 --> 00:17:16,613
and it's only the end
of the first verse!
316
00:17:16,647 --> 00:17:18,882
LISA:
But I saw you praying to Mecca.
317
00:17:18,916 --> 00:17:21,785
Lisa, I've never prayed
to a city in my life,
318
00:17:21,819 --> 00:17:24,721
and if I did, it would be
Hershey, Pennsylvania.
319
00:17:24,755 --> 00:17:27,824
I was kneeling on the
affirmation rug they gave me.
320
00:17:28,659 --> 00:17:30,594
See?
321
00:17:30,628 --> 00:17:33,597
(rhythmically): Ow, this rug is hard on my knees.
Ow, this rug is hard on my knees.
322
00:17:33,631 --> 00:17:34,965
Ow, this rug is hard
on my knees.
323
00:17:34,999 --> 00:17:37,434
But wait, wait, wait.
What is this?
324
00:17:37,468 --> 00:17:39,736
Lisa, the most horrible truth
of all is,
325
00:17:39,770 --> 00:17:43,440
the plant where I work poisons
our water and our air.
326
00:17:43,474 --> 00:17:45,742
I've told you that
a million times.
327
00:17:45,776 --> 00:17:49,446
Aw, sweetie, you told me a
thousand things a million times.
328
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,182
Even with a brain
the size of a dinosaur's,
329
00:17:52,216 --> 00:17:53,950
I couldn't take that in.
330
00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:58,822
Anyhoo, this canister is full of spoiled
milk and utility-grade chicken,
331
00:17:58,856 --> 00:18:01,458
both sold to me by Apu
this morning.
332
00:18:01,492 --> 00:18:04,594
When I release it into the AC system,
333
00:18:04,629 --> 00:18:06,930
it'll stink up
the plant forever.
334
00:18:06,964 --> 00:18:10,100
No one can use it,
but no one gets hurt.
335
00:18:10,134 --> 00:18:12,836
Just like
when I smell up the toilet.
336
00:18:12,870 --> 00:18:13,837
(knocking)
(gasps) Huh?
337
00:18:13,871 --> 00:18:15,839
(grunting)
338
00:18:15,873 --> 00:18:16,840
(door opens)
339
00:18:16,874 --> 00:18:17,841
There he is.
340
00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:19,709
Use your fattest handcuffs.
341
00:18:19,744 --> 00:18:21,511
Hey. Uh, it's not
what you think, Lou.
342
00:18:21,546 --> 00:18:22,646
Lou, Lou, Lou.
343
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:23,647
(ululating):
Lou-Lou-Lou-Lou-Lou...!
344
00:18:23,681 --> 00:18:25,015
(groans)
345
00:18:25,049 --> 00:18:29,719
I can complete my dad's mission
just like George W. Bush.
346
00:18:29,754 --> 00:18:32,522
I can't shoot a little girl.
347
00:18:32,557 --> 00:18:34,124
(gunshot)
Ah, damn it!
348
00:18:34,158 --> 00:18:39,262
There's some things they just don't teach
you in the police academy... movies.
349
00:18:40,331 --> 00:18:42,632
(distorted grunting)
350
00:18:46,737 --> 00:18:47,704
(electronic trilling)
351
00:18:47,738 --> 00:18:49,172
(rhythmic chugging)
352
00:18:50,708 --> 00:18:52,509
We did it, Dad. We did it.
353
00:18:52,543 --> 00:18:53,877
We sure did.
354
00:18:53,911 --> 00:18:54,878
(grunts)
355
00:18:54,912 --> 00:18:57,180
You weren't shot.
356
00:18:57,215 --> 00:18:59,916
No, I was just up late
watching a movie.
357
00:18:59,951 --> 00:19:02,719
Something with
William Holden and...
358
00:19:02,753 --> 00:19:04,054
(snoring)
359
00:19:08,926 --> 00:19:10,894
Your plan failed.
360
00:19:10,928 --> 00:19:13,663
Thank God this plant has never had
a functioning air conditioner.
361
00:19:13,698 --> 00:19:17,167
Wait a minute, Burns. You don't have a
functioning AC system at a nuclear plant?
362
00:19:17,201 --> 00:19:20,203
- That's against the law.
- That's impossible.
363
00:19:20,238 --> 00:19:22,005
Smithers, didn't we move
this plant to China?
364
00:19:22,039 --> 00:19:24,908
Sir, that's two years from now, and
you're not supposed to tell anyone.
365
00:19:24,942 --> 00:19:25,976
Oopsie.
366
00:19:27,712 --> 00:19:30,113
There isn't a prison made
that can hold me.
367
00:19:30,147 --> 00:19:32,282
Prisons are still made
of mud and wattles, right?
368
00:19:32,316 --> 00:19:35,919
No. Concrete.
(gasps loudly)
369
00:19:35,953 --> 00:19:38,255
You know, Dad, just because
your mission's complete,
370
00:19:38,289 --> 00:19:44,581
it doesn't mean you have to go back
to pork eating and beer... drinking.
371
00:19:44,596 --> 00:19:48,265
A beer from the sky! It's a sign!
372
00:19:48,299 --> 00:19:49,699
(laughing)
373
00:19:51,068 --> 00:19:54,671
Yeah, this equipment will pay for
itself in one night of binging.
374
00:19:57,808 --> 00:20:01,611
I wish a mission could bring me
closer to someone, but it can't.
375
00:20:01,646 --> 00:20:04,748
Okay, it's time for me
to walk alone into the sunset.
376
00:20:05,983 --> 00:20:07,384
(gulps loudly)
377
00:20:07,418 --> 00:20:08,985
That's better.
378
00:20:14,158 --> 00:20:16,593
(groans)
379
00:20:30,232 --> 00:20:33,234
Amazingly, the hamster's
older than I am.
380
00:20:34,803 --> 00:20:39,803
Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
381
00:21:19,576 --> 00:21:20,904
Shh!
382
00:21:20,928 --> 00:21:23,505
== A WEB-DL Sync & correction: Jasonnguyen2606==