1 00:00:01,328 --> 00:00:02,728 (upbeat march plays) 2 00:00:02,762 --> 00:00:05,431 ♪ Good morning, USA! 3 00:00:05,465 --> 00:00:09,368 ♪ I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 4 00:00:09,402 --> 00:00:12,338 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 5 00:00:12,372 --> 00:00:16,775 ♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪ 6 00:00:18,645 --> 00:00:22,047 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say 7 00:00:22,082 --> 00:00:30,256 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 8 00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:34,660 TEENAGE BOY: Drink it up, virgins! (laughs) 9 00:00:34,694 --> 00:00:37,029 (coughs) (pants) How you doing over there, bud? 10 00:00:37,063 --> 00:00:39,498 I was thinking, um, if the school switched 11 00:00:39,533 --> 00:00:43,002 to waterless urinals, they could save over 35 gallons 12 00:00:43,036 --> 00:00:45,304 every time these guys swirlied us. 13 00:00:46,473 --> 00:00:48,507 Yup, those numbers check out. 14 00:00:50,010 --> 00:00:51,810 Wait, Vince, hold up, hold up. 15 00:00:51,845 --> 00:00:55,247 Let's see how virginy these guys really are. 16 00:00:55,282 --> 00:00:56,949 Have you even touched a boob? 17 00:00:56,983 --> 00:00:58,851 Yeah! I was breast-fed. 18 00:00:58,885 --> 00:01:00,653 Nice! What about you? 19 00:01:00,687 --> 00:01:02,354 I was a formula baby. 20 00:01:02,389 --> 00:01:04,089 My mom's an alcoholic. 21 00:01:04,124 --> 00:01:06,158 Wrong answer! 22 00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:07,560 (coughs) 23 00:01:07,594 --> 00:01:09,028 Next question. 24 00:01:09,062 --> 00:01:12,097 Have either of you ever gazed into the eyes 25 00:01:12,132 --> 00:01:15,234 of your lover as the world falls away, 26 00:01:15,268 --> 00:01:18,304 and you realize you're no longer two people 27 00:01:18,338 --> 00:01:20,839 but one soul united? 28 00:01:21,841 --> 00:01:24,076 Um... Um... 29 00:01:24,110 --> 00:01:26,579 Gay! Gay! 30 00:01:26,613 --> 00:01:28,614 (coughing) (coughing) 31 00:01:34,487 --> 00:01:35,955 Man, we're pathetic! 32 00:01:35,989 --> 00:01:38,424 We got to find a way to have sex. 33 00:01:38,458 --> 00:01:40,759 And not just for them, for us, too! 34 00:01:40,794 --> 00:01:43,596 It's not like we haven't tried. 35 00:01:43,630 --> 00:01:45,297 Great. No paper towels. 36 00:01:45,332 --> 00:01:47,666 This day is a beast. 37 00:01:50,470 --> 00:01:52,705 That's it! Prom! 38 00:01:52,739 --> 00:01:54,340 Prom is when girls are socially conditioned 39 00:01:54,374 --> 00:01:55,874 to put out the most. 40 00:01:55,909 --> 00:01:58,510 Yes, assuming you can get them to go with you. 41 00:01:58,545 --> 00:02:00,546 How are we gonna get dates? 42 00:02:00,580 --> 00:02:03,649 I don't know. Who-who are guys that get lots of girls? 43 00:02:03,683 --> 00:02:05,551 Celebrities? You're right. 44 00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:07,052 We need new head shots. 45 00:02:07,087 --> 00:02:09,288 Dude, our head shots almost got us 46 00:02:09,322 --> 00:02:11,290 the OshKosh B'gosh campaign. 47 00:02:11,324 --> 00:02:13,192 I'm keeping 'em. 48 00:02:15,729 --> 00:02:18,030 So, in summary, we're hoping you can tell us 49 00:02:18,064 --> 00:02:19,798 how we can land two willing ladies 50 00:02:19,833 --> 00:02:21,567 to go to the prom with us. 51 00:02:21,601 --> 00:02:23,435 Now, they don't have to be smart, 52 00:02:23,470 --> 00:02:25,704 their breasts don't need to be prizewinners, 53 00:02:25,739 --> 00:02:27,640 but we should know they're there, 54 00:02:27,674 --> 00:02:28,974 and their asses should... 55 00:02:29,009 --> 00:02:29,975 Stop! 56 00:02:30,010 --> 00:02:31,377 You guys are pigs. 57 00:02:31,411 --> 00:02:33,646 You can't objectify women like this. 58 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,347 These girls you're talking about, 59 00:02:35,382 --> 00:02:37,483 they're someone's sister, someone's daughter. 60 00:02:37,517 --> 00:02:39,885 I-If, if you'll just let me finish my sentence. 61 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:43,122 Asses. We'd prefer slightly too large or boyish. 62 00:02:43,156 --> 00:02:45,157 But this is low-priority. 63 00:02:45,191 --> 00:02:46,552 Look, I'd love to stay and tell you 64 00:02:46,559 --> 00:02:49,361 how disgusting you are, but I got to go dump out 65 00:02:49,396 --> 00:02:52,331 to make room for this hot and cheesy hoagie. 66 00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:55,167 (squawking) 67 00:02:57,971 --> 00:02:59,505 W-Was that a dodo? 68 00:02:59,539 --> 00:03:01,040 I thought they were extinct. 69 00:03:01,074 --> 00:03:03,308 Nope. Thanks to the cloning machine at work, 70 00:03:03,343 --> 00:03:05,778 the only thing that's extinct-- dot, dot, dot-- 71 00:03:05,812 --> 00:03:07,446 is extinction. 72 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:08,580 Come here, you. 73 00:03:08,615 --> 00:03:10,716 It's my week to take care of Darren. 74 00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,017 (kissing) 75 00:03:12,052 --> 00:03:13,485 I wuv you, Dawwen! 76 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:16,021 Is my little dodo hungry? 77 00:03:17,257 --> 00:03:19,558 (happy grunting) 78 00:03:23,396 --> 00:03:26,165 Ah, the dodo-- Raphus cucullatus. 79 00:03:26,199 --> 00:03:28,600 These magnificent creatures would still be around today 80 00:03:28,635 --> 00:03:30,502 if not for the bloodthirsty Dutch 81 00:03:30,537 --> 00:03:33,205 hunting them to extinction in 1662. 82 00:03:33,239 --> 00:03:35,507 (squawks) The very same year the world lost 83 00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:38,043 French poet François le Métel de Boisrobert. 84 00:03:38,078 --> 00:03:40,212 Nobody cares about your stuff, Francine. 85 00:03:42,048 --> 00:03:43,048 (squawks) 86 00:03:44,084 --> 00:03:45,284 Oh, no, you don't. 87 00:03:45,318 --> 00:03:46,852 Can't let this guy get out. 88 00:03:46,886 --> 00:03:49,388 If the world discovered the CIA was cloning things, 89 00:03:49,422 --> 00:03:51,390 they'd shut us down for playing God. 90 00:03:51,424 --> 00:03:52,891 You know who else played God? 91 00:03:52,926 --> 00:03:55,427 George Burns. And he's dead! 92 00:03:59,966 --> 00:04:02,768 So, we might not know girls, but we do know math, 93 00:04:02,802 --> 00:04:04,803 and if we ask every girl in school, 94 00:04:04,838 --> 00:04:08,107 odds are two of 'em are bound to go to prom with us. 95 00:04:08,141 --> 00:04:10,676 Sorry, not interested. 96 00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:11,677 I don't think so. 97 00:04:11,711 --> 00:04:13,278 In your dreams, nerd! 98 00:04:13,313 --> 00:04:14,346 What... about... 99 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,147 no... don't... 100 00:04:15,181 --> 00:04:17,483 you... understand? 101 00:04:19,986 --> 00:04:21,620 Hey, fellas. Hi, guys. 102 00:04:21,654 --> 00:04:22,621 Steven. 103 00:04:22,655 --> 00:04:23,822 (speaks Hebrew) 104 00:04:23,857 --> 00:04:25,858 So, since none of us have dates for the prom, 105 00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:28,427 Snot and I were thinking the four of us could all hang out. 106 00:04:28,461 --> 00:04:30,329 No girls, no distractions, 107 00:04:30,363 --> 00:04:33,866 just another hard-core BF weekend! 108 00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:37,035 Sounds great, but Toshi and I already have dates. 109 00:04:37,070 --> 00:04:37,803 What?! 110 00:04:37,837 --> 00:04:40,005 We're taking twins! 111 00:04:40,039 --> 00:04:41,006 ♪ 112 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,674 ANNOUNCER: Twins! 113 00:04:42,709 --> 00:04:44,943 We don't have any twins at this school. 114 00:04:44,978 --> 00:04:46,712 Sure, we do. 115 00:04:46,746 --> 00:04:48,113 ♪ 116 00:04:48,148 --> 00:04:50,616 ANNOUNCER: Twins! 117 00:04:50,650 --> 00:04:51,884 I can't believe this! 118 00:04:51,918 --> 00:04:54,319 We're gonna be the last virgins on the planet. 119 00:04:54,354 --> 00:04:56,121 Well, what are we supposed to do? 120 00:04:56,156 --> 00:04:58,157 Every girl turned us down. 121 00:04:58,191 --> 00:05:01,627 Even the quadriplegic girl blinked "no." 122 00:05:02,862 --> 00:05:04,930 (squawks) 123 00:05:04,964 --> 00:05:07,032 Stupid clone dodo. 124 00:05:08,067 --> 00:05:09,735 Wait a second. 125 00:05:09,769 --> 00:05:12,137 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 126 00:05:12,172 --> 00:05:14,673 I don't know. Isn't Darren a boy bird? 127 00:05:14,707 --> 00:05:17,309 I mean, I guess he can't tell on us. 128 00:05:17,343 --> 00:05:18,710 What? No. 129 00:05:18,745 --> 00:05:21,847 W... We use the cloning machine at my dad's work 130 00:05:21,881 --> 00:05:24,149 to make prom dates. Really? 131 00:05:24,184 --> 00:05:26,985 Yeah, man. We find two of the hottest girls around, 132 00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:29,388 we get their DNA, we clone 'em, 133 00:05:29,422 --> 00:05:32,057 and we bone 'em! Totally on board. 134 00:05:32,091 --> 00:05:35,661 But where do we get DNA for our T-n-A? 135 00:05:44,270 --> 00:05:46,538 GIRL: Oh, my God, I wish I had your boobs. 136 00:05:46,573 --> 00:05:51,076 GIRL 2: Oh, my God, I wish I had your eating disorder. 137 00:05:52,111 --> 00:05:53,846 Field day! 138 00:05:57,217 --> 00:05:58,517 The perfect DNA sample! 139 00:05:58,551 --> 00:06:00,185 All we need is another one and... 140 00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:01,887 What are you two doing in here?! 141 00:06:01,921 --> 00:06:03,856 I know it looks bad-- two teenage boys 142 00:06:03,890 --> 00:06:06,325 in a girls' dressing room-- but I can assure you 143 00:06:06,359 --> 00:06:08,861 we are only here to collect pubic hair. 144 00:06:11,264 --> 00:06:14,566 Darn! We only got one DNA sample! 145 00:06:14,601 --> 00:06:16,268 And stay out, perverts! 146 00:06:16,302 --> 00:06:17,569 (hawks, spits) 147 00:06:17,604 --> 00:06:20,572 (slo-mo, oscillating sci-fi sound effect) 148 00:06:20,607 --> 00:06:24,309 (distorted, slo-mo): D... N... A! 149 00:06:26,246 --> 00:06:27,446 (screams) (thud) 150 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:28,447 (people gasp) 151 00:06:32,919 --> 00:06:35,387 (insects chirping) 152 00:06:35,421 --> 00:06:38,290 Okay, we got six hours to find the cloning machine. 153 00:06:38,324 --> 00:06:41,126 I brought trail mix and water in case it takes us all night to... 154 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,394 Found it! 155 00:06:42,428 --> 00:06:44,096 Good thing I brought this trash can 156 00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:47,666 in case we found it right away. 157 00:06:48,968 --> 00:06:50,302 (whir, click) 158 00:06:52,705 --> 00:06:53,739 (whir, click) 159 00:06:53,773 --> 00:06:54,806 Wait! 160 00:06:58,778 --> 00:07:01,146 (high-pitched whirring) 161 00:07:02,715 --> 00:07:04,750 What are you gonna name yours? 162 00:07:04,784 --> 00:07:07,686 I want mine to have a sexy stripper name, 163 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,087 like Honey. 164 00:07:09,122 --> 00:07:11,423 I'm gonna name mine after my great-grandmother, 165 00:07:11,457 --> 00:07:12,658 Glitter. 166 00:07:12,692 --> 00:07:16,461 Naming your sex clone after your great-grandmother. 167 00:07:16,496 --> 00:07:19,031 That's a nice way to honor her. 168 00:07:19,065 --> 00:07:21,233 (whirring) Here we go. 169 00:07:21,267 --> 00:07:23,402 Bring on the babes! 170 00:07:23,436 --> 00:07:24,703 (hissing) 171 00:07:24,737 --> 00:07:26,738 (cooing) 172 00:07:26,773 --> 00:07:28,040 (gasps) (screams) 173 00:07:28,074 --> 00:07:29,374 Un-clone! Un-clone! 174 00:07:29,409 --> 00:07:31,410 Control-Z! Control-Z! 175 00:07:36,111 --> 00:07:39,157 (exhales) They're finally asleep. 176 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,692 Man... 177 00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:41,851 this backfired. 178 00:07:42,091 --> 00:07:45,193 I know. In every cloning movie, they come out fully grown. 179 00:07:45,228 --> 00:07:47,095 This isn't a movie, Steve! 180 00:07:47,130 --> 00:07:49,431 This is real life! 181 00:07:49,465 --> 00:07:53,135 We waltzed into the CIA to clone dates 182 00:07:53,169 --> 00:07:55,237 from pubic hair and spit, 183 00:07:55,271 --> 00:07:57,672 and now we're totally screwed for prom! 184 00:07:57,707 --> 00:08:00,342 Forget prom! What, what are we gonna do about these babies? 185 00:08:00,376 --> 00:08:02,477 We got to get to school! 186 00:08:04,547 --> 00:08:07,015 "Rainbow Unicorn Gardens Day Care." 187 00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:08,216 Where is it? 188 00:08:08,251 --> 00:08:10,218 (music box playing lullaby) 189 00:08:10,253 --> 00:08:12,287 Oh, you must be the new applicants. 190 00:08:12,321 --> 00:08:14,122 Hi. I'm Skyler Montessori, 191 00:08:14,157 --> 00:08:16,558 founder of Rainbow Unicorn Gardens. 192 00:08:16,592 --> 00:08:18,560 We are an elite, exclusive day care, 193 00:08:18,594 --> 00:08:20,462 but we strive for diversity. 194 00:08:20,496 --> 00:08:22,464 This one's dirt-poor. 195 00:08:22,498 --> 00:08:23,598 It's fun. 196 00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:25,434 So, can we just drop them off 197 00:08:25,468 --> 00:08:27,035 and pick them up after school? 198 00:08:27,070 --> 00:08:29,037 Oh, no, no, no, no, not so fast. 199 00:08:29,072 --> 00:08:30,839 We don't take just any children. 200 00:08:30,873 --> 00:08:32,908 There's a rigorous application process. 201 00:08:32,942 --> 00:08:34,409 We don't have time for this. 202 00:08:34,444 --> 00:08:36,445 We'll find someplace else. 203 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:38,580 Wait. 204 00:08:38,614 --> 00:08:40,415 Your baby doesn't have a belly button. 205 00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:41,616 That's, um... 206 00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:43,618 because they're clones. 207 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:44,920 Clones? 208 00:08:44,954 --> 00:08:46,655 Well, hmm... 209 00:08:46,689 --> 00:08:48,523 Hmm, hmm, hmm. 210 00:08:48,558 --> 00:08:51,626 Stacey over at the Sunshine Shack doesn't have any clones. 211 00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,995 I'll take 'em! Thank God! 212 00:08:55,598 --> 00:08:57,232 (sputtering nearby) 213 00:08:57,266 --> 00:09:00,335 No! Damien, we do not eat glue! 214 00:09:00,369 --> 00:09:02,437 The glue is not for eating! 215 00:09:04,507 --> 00:09:06,108 (inhales) 216 00:09:08,177 --> 00:09:10,812 (giggling) 217 00:09:10,847 --> 00:09:12,147 You guys... 218 00:09:12,181 --> 00:09:14,983 you guys are like... little people. 219 00:09:16,652 --> 00:09:18,620 (bell rings) 220 00:09:21,457 --> 00:09:23,125 I never thought I'd say this, 221 00:09:23,159 --> 00:09:25,127 but crap, school's over. 222 00:09:25,161 --> 00:09:27,596 I know. Is there anything we can do 223 00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:30,365 to avoid going home to those babies? 224 00:09:30,399 --> 00:09:32,834 Maybe. Watch this. 225 00:09:32,869 --> 00:09:35,504 Hey, Miss Lane, Snot and I were just giggling 226 00:09:35,538 --> 00:09:37,706 and talking about how your ass is disgusting. 227 00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:39,207 Is that the kind of thing 228 00:09:39,242 --> 00:09:41,109 that would land two boys in detention? 229 00:09:41,144 --> 00:09:43,678 Steve, Snot, detention... 230 00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:47,115 is for boys who don't tell the truth. 231 00:09:53,923 --> 00:09:55,690 (both sigh) 232 00:09:58,227 --> 00:09:59,628 Oh, there you are! 233 00:09:59,662 --> 00:10:01,630 And only two hours late! 234 00:10:01,664 --> 00:10:04,266 Oh, it's okay, though. I can always get the next bus. 235 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,601 It's fine. Yeah, it's fine that I spend my days 236 00:10:06,636 --> 00:10:08,003 taking care of other people's kids 237 00:10:08,037 --> 00:10:10,472 while my own kids are raised by my bitch mother. 238 00:10:10,506 --> 00:10:12,474 That's a super sad fake story, 239 00:10:12,508 --> 00:10:14,476 but we're not the only late ones. 240 00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:16,044 What about those girls' parents? 241 00:10:16,078 --> 00:10:18,513 Actually, those are your girls. What?! 242 00:10:18,548 --> 00:10:20,482 Yep, they did a lot of growing today. 243 00:10:20,516 --> 00:10:22,717 When they got here they couldn't even sit up, 244 00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:26,388 and now I taught them to-- girls, do it! 245 00:10:26,422 --> 00:10:29,424 They can do... whatever that's called. 246 00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:31,426 How is this possible? 247 00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:34,095 They must be... five years old by now. 248 00:10:34,130 --> 00:10:36,097 Do you realize what this means? 249 00:10:36,132 --> 00:10:38,233 At the accelerated rate they're growing, 250 00:10:38,267 --> 00:10:41,002 they're gonna be the right age for prom by Saturday! 251 00:10:41,037 --> 00:10:43,104 Cool! We can just leave 'em here! 252 00:10:43,139 --> 00:10:45,307 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, sirs, this is a day care. 253 00:10:45,341 --> 00:10:46,875 Your girls are getting too old. 254 00:10:46,909 --> 00:10:49,211 Fortunately, my sister happens to run 255 00:10:49,245 --> 00:10:52,247 a girls' finishing school in this very attic. 256 00:10:54,116 --> 00:10:56,084 My sister mentioned you'd be by. 257 00:10:56,118 --> 00:10:58,553 Madeline Carpal-Tunnel, pleased to meet you. 258 00:11:00,923 --> 00:11:02,557 Backs straight, girls! 259 00:11:02,592 --> 00:11:05,360 And remember, those books are for posture only. 260 00:11:05,394 --> 00:11:08,630 A literate girl is a lonely girl. 261 00:11:08,664 --> 00:11:10,098 This is awesome! 262 00:11:10,132 --> 00:11:12,968 In just two more days they'll be the perfect age for prom. 263 00:11:13,002 --> 00:11:15,604 And after prom. 264 00:11:15,638 --> 00:11:18,273 How old do you have to be to go to the Waffle House? 265 00:11:18,307 --> 00:11:21,109 Oh, that's not what you meant. 266 00:11:21,143 --> 00:11:23,211 ♪ 267 00:11:39,295 --> 00:11:42,297 ♪ 268 00:11:45,968 --> 00:11:48,303 ♪ 269 00:11:58,147 --> 00:12:00,315 (laughing) Okay, girls, 270 00:12:00,349 --> 00:12:01,850 time for bed. 271 00:12:03,786 --> 00:12:07,422 I'm so excited for prom tomorrow! 272 00:12:07,456 --> 00:12:09,224 Good night, ladies. 273 00:12:09,258 --> 00:12:12,227 Wait! We made you something to wear to prom. 274 00:12:12,261 --> 00:12:13,828 Aw. Aw. 275 00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,997 Thanks, doodlebug. 276 00:12:16,032 --> 00:12:17,866 Mwah. 277 00:12:21,137 --> 00:12:23,038 (quietly): A macaroni necklace. 278 00:12:23,072 --> 00:12:25,040 Do I look like a necklace guy? 279 00:12:25,074 --> 00:12:27,208 The point is, she made you something. 280 00:12:27,243 --> 00:12:30,679 Yeah, no, I know. She's just... 281 00:12:30,713 --> 00:12:33,882 kind of a disappointment. 282 00:12:36,419 --> 00:12:38,153 Ah, prom night. 283 00:12:38,187 --> 00:12:41,156 It's been a long road, but the girls are finally of age. 284 00:12:41,190 --> 00:12:43,158 Time to punch our V-cards. 285 00:12:43,192 --> 00:12:45,660 I'd love to tell you I feel unprepared, 286 00:12:45,695 --> 00:12:48,830 but the space between my couch cushions would beg to differ. 287 00:12:48,864 --> 00:12:50,231 ROGER: Okay, they're ready! 288 00:12:50,266 --> 00:12:52,500 Dude! Dude! 289 00:12:52,535 --> 00:12:55,003 ♪ 290 00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:07,315 ♪ 291 00:13:12,421 --> 00:13:15,924 Didn't think you had it in you, but, seriously, sick trim, bro. 292 00:13:15,958 --> 00:13:17,859 (squawks) 293 00:13:17,893 --> 00:13:20,362 Come on, you kids, picture time! 294 00:13:21,764 --> 00:13:23,465 Guys, move in a little closer 295 00:13:23,499 --> 00:13:24,999 like you want to do 'em. 296 00:13:26,902 --> 00:13:30,238 Can... you girls give us a second? 297 00:13:30,272 --> 00:13:33,007 I-I don't know if I can go through with this. 298 00:13:33,042 --> 00:13:34,476 I mean, I raised Glitter. 299 00:13:34,510 --> 00:13:35,977 She's practically my daughter. 300 00:13:36,011 --> 00:13:39,180 I know. I feel the same way about Honey. 301 00:13:39,215 --> 00:13:41,416 We even have the same laugh. 302 00:13:41,450 --> 00:13:43,685 (braying laugh) 303 00:13:43,719 --> 00:13:45,353 What do we do? 304 00:13:45,388 --> 00:13:48,523 We've literally waited our whole lives to go to prom. 305 00:13:48,557 --> 00:13:50,725 They're really excited to go. 306 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:53,061 Clearly we can't sleep with our daughters, but... 307 00:13:53,095 --> 00:13:55,196 I guess we could still take them... 308 00:13:55,231 --> 00:13:56,264 as friends. 309 00:13:56,298 --> 00:13:57,866 Yeah, you're right. 310 00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,467 We'll just take them as friends. 311 00:13:59,502 --> 00:14:01,903 Go grab the corsages, will you, bud? 312 00:14:02,905 --> 00:14:04,906 (squawking) 313 00:14:13,282 --> 00:14:15,283 (gun clicking) 314 00:14:16,318 --> 00:14:18,420 Where did Snot and Glitter go? 315 00:14:18,454 --> 00:14:19,721 (car door shuts) 316 00:14:20,756 --> 00:14:22,924 Uh, are those condoms?! 317 00:14:22,958 --> 00:14:26,327 Snot, we said we weren't gonna sleep with our daughters! 318 00:14:26,362 --> 00:14:29,464 You didn't say I couldn't plow yours! 319 00:14:29,498 --> 00:14:31,800 But it was heavily implied! 320 00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:35,170 (crying): It was heavily implied. 321 00:14:37,579 --> 00:14:39,513 Snot just ran off with my daughter! 322 00:14:39,548 --> 00:14:42,516 Your daughter? I mean... my water. 323 00:14:42,551 --> 00:14:44,987 The majority of our body is made out of water. 324 00:14:45,559 --> 00:14:47,694 He's right. We're water. 325 00:14:47,728 --> 00:14:49,962 I'm a man made out of water. 326 00:14:49,997 --> 00:14:51,497 I'm a water man! 327 00:14:51,532 --> 00:14:53,166 Do you know what this means? 328 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,702 Don't just sit there and stare at me, you sack of water. 329 00:14:55,736 --> 00:14:58,371 Say something! We're water! 330 00:14:58,405 --> 00:15:00,907 ♪ 331 00:15:10,884 --> 00:15:12,719 Quick, have you guys seen Snot? 332 00:15:12,753 --> 00:15:15,221 He left. Said he couldn't wait until after prom 333 00:15:15,255 --> 00:15:18,224 to lose his virginity, so he took Glitter back to his limo. 334 00:15:18,258 --> 00:15:22,061 Oh, no! What if he's already having sex with her? 335 00:15:23,063 --> 00:15:24,030 Hey! 336 00:15:24,064 --> 00:15:25,298 Sorry, tubby. 337 00:15:25,332 --> 00:15:27,367 You snooze, you lose. 338 00:15:30,871 --> 00:15:33,172 So... where you from? 339 00:15:33,207 --> 00:15:35,208 The C.I.A. 340 00:15:36,210 --> 00:15:38,311 Huh, small world. I work there. 341 00:15:38,345 --> 00:15:40,847 And, uh, how long have you and Steve been friends? 342 00:15:40,881 --> 00:15:42,181 My whole life. 343 00:15:42,216 --> 00:15:44,217 Three days. 344 00:15:45,219 --> 00:15:46,853 Three days? 345 00:15:46,887 --> 00:15:48,654 That means you were born on the 30th. 346 00:15:48,689 --> 00:15:51,190 You have the same birthday as Selena Gomez. 347 00:15:51,225 --> 00:15:52,992 That lucky duck. 348 00:15:53,026 --> 00:15:54,727 She has a belly button ring. 349 00:15:54,762 --> 00:15:56,529 You should so get one of those. 350 00:15:56,563 --> 00:15:59,165 I can't. I don't have a belly button. 351 00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,301 Now I get it. 352 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:05,738 Excuse me, I must use my wireless telephone right now. 353 00:16:05,773 --> 00:16:08,875 STEVE (recorded): This is the voice mailbox of Steven Anita Smith. 354 00:16:08,909 --> 00:16:11,878 I'm Anita call you back. (chuckles) 355 00:16:11,912 --> 00:16:14,614 (beep) Steve, I know you cloned these girls! 356 00:16:14,648 --> 00:16:17,150 If the C.I.A. finds out, I'll lose my job. 357 00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:18,818 Now I got to un-clone them. 358 00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,753 Un-clone means kill. 359 00:16:20,788 --> 00:16:21,954 Whoops. 360 00:16:21,989 --> 00:16:23,890 Un-clone means kill. (beep) 361 00:16:23,924 --> 00:16:25,992 Honey! (gasps) 362 00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:26,959 (gunshot) 363 00:16:26,994 --> 00:16:29,962 (screams) 364 00:16:30,998 --> 00:16:32,765 Stan! Don't judge me. 365 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,534 It was just a clone. 366 00:16:35,602 --> 00:16:38,938 See, doesn't even feel pain. 367 00:16:41,175 --> 00:16:43,743 ANNOUNCER: All right, American Dadders, earlier in the episode 368 00:16:43,777 --> 00:16:45,812 Francine made reference to poet 369 00:16:45,846 --> 00:16:47,814 François le Métel de Boisrobert. 370 00:16:47,848 --> 00:16:50,450 What country did he hail from? 371 00:16:50,484 --> 00:16:53,453 (ticking) 372 00:16:53,487 --> 00:16:54,454 (buzzer blares) 373 00:16:54,488 --> 00:16:56,189 The answer is... 374 00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:57,723 Spain. 375 00:16:57,758 --> 00:16:59,926 Keep up your learning, America! 376 00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:04,630 Now, Steve and Snot, take it away! 377 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:08,201 (gasps) 378 00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:10,203 (Snot grunting) 379 00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:13,639 What are you doing here?! 380 00:17:13,674 --> 00:17:15,374 Taking you home. Come on. 381 00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:18,244 (groans) You are ruining prom! 382 00:17:18,278 --> 00:17:20,246 (sighs) Come on, Steve. 383 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,316 This might be our only chance to lose our virginity. 384 00:17:23,350 --> 00:17:25,251 It's what we've always wanted. 385 00:17:25,285 --> 00:17:26,786 Not like this, Snot. 386 00:17:26,820 --> 00:17:28,488 Not like this. 387 00:17:28,522 --> 00:17:31,324 But this is what my whole life's been leading up to. 388 00:17:31,358 --> 00:17:33,493 Yes, and it's all my fault. 389 00:17:33,527 --> 00:17:35,761 Glitter, you're not just some conquest. 390 00:17:35,796 --> 00:17:38,231 You're an amazing and beautiful young woman, 391 00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:39,966 and that's how you should be treated. 392 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,135 My sister was right. You are somebody's daughter. 393 00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:44,470 Mine. 394 00:17:44,505 --> 00:17:47,707 There's no one else like you in this entire universe. 395 00:17:47,741 --> 00:17:50,943 You mean... except for the person I was cloned from? 396 00:17:50,978 --> 00:17:52,545 That girl's nothing like you. 397 00:17:52,579 --> 00:17:55,214 Total bitch. She spit in my face. 398 00:17:55,249 --> 00:17:59,552 And it was the best thing that ever happened to me. 399 00:17:59,586 --> 00:18:00,820 (sniffling) 400 00:18:00,854 --> 00:18:02,288 That was beautiful, Steve. 401 00:18:02,322 --> 00:18:03,456 (gunshot) 402 00:18:03,490 --> 00:18:04,757 I know she's in there, Steve! 403 00:18:04,791 --> 00:18:06,726 Go! I'll hold him off! 404 00:18:07,761 --> 00:18:09,962 Hey, Mr. Smith. Hey, Snot. 405 00:18:09,997 --> 00:18:12,565 That was brave, dude. 406 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,102 That clone has to die, Steve! 407 00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:17,703 You can't kill her! 408 00:18:17,738 --> 00:18:20,072 I raised her from a little loogie! 409 00:18:20,107 --> 00:18:21,641 We're all water, Steve! 410 00:18:21,675 --> 00:18:23,676 ♪ 411 00:18:29,783 --> 00:18:30,917 (gunshot) 412 00:18:41,194 --> 00:18:43,095 (thunder rumbling) 413 00:18:43,130 --> 00:18:45,565 I think we can jump and make it to the cafeteria. 414 00:18:45,599 --> 00:18:47,300 You ready, Glitter? 415 00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:50,002 Glitter? (groaning) 416 00:18:50,037 --> 00:18:51,504 What's wrong? 417 00:18:51,538 --> 00:18:54,173 I've reached the age of the girl I was cloned from 418 00:18:54,207 --> 00:18:56,108 and my body's shutting down. 419 00:18:56,143 --> 00:18:58,311 Clonal cellular deterioration? 420 00:18:58,345 --> 00:18:59,979 Maybe. No! 421 00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,647 This can't be happening. 422 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,115 You can't die yet. 423 00:19:03,150 --> 00:19:05,117 You haven't experienced all the wonderful things 424 00:19:05,152 --> 00:19:06,285 I've dreamt for you. 425 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,087 Because of you, 426 00:19:08,121 --> 00:19:10,923 I've seen things you wouldn't believe, 427 00:19:10,958 --> 00:19:15,461 like dust motes glittering in a sunbeam through an attic window 428 00:19:15,495 --> 00:19:18,464 or the inside of a limousine, 429 00:19:18,498 --> 00:19:20,800 which is like a really big car, 430 00:19:20,834 --> 00:19:22,535 which I have no reference for 431 00:19:22,569 --> 00:19:25,071 because I've never been in a regular-sized car. 432 00:19:25,105 --> 00:19:29,542 (moans) And-and that's pretty much all I've seen, but... 433 00:19:29,576 --> 00:19:32,545 that seems like a pretty full life. 434 00:19:32,579 --> 00:19:35,881 And I got to know the one person who gave me all this, 435 00:19:35,916 --> 00:19:38,985 the nicest father in the world: 436 00:19:39,019 --> 00:19:40,653 you. 437 00:19:40,687 --> 00:19:42,321 Time... 438 00:19:42,356 --> 00:19:45,124 to die. 439 00:19:48,161 --> 00:19:50,029 (squawks) 440 00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:57,203 (gunshots) 441 00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:58,471 (screams) 442 00:19:58,505 --> 00:20:00,006 Just to be sure. 443 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,607 My daughter... 444 00:20:01,642 --> 00:20:03,009 she's gone. 445 00:20:03,043 --> 00:20:05,011 No parent should have to bury their child. 446 00:20:05,045 --> 00:20:07,346 Which is why your mother and I have arranged for you 447 00:20:07,381 --> 00:20:09,015 to be cremated. 448 00:20:09,049 --> 00:20:10,850 What am I supposed to do now? 449 00:20:10,884 --> 00:20:12,518 You're gonna have to be strong, Steve. 450 00:20:12,552 --> 00:20:14,654 Be a man and move on with your life. 451 00:20:14,688 --> 00:20:16,789 (squawks) Darren! 452 00:20:16,823 --> 00:20:18,791 (sobbing) 453 00:20:18,825 --> 00:20:22,128 It's okay. Y-You just have to be strong, remember? 454 00:20:22,162 --> 00:20:23,996 Shut up! Get away from me! 455 00:20:24,031 --> 00:20:25,531 Oh, God! 456 00:20:25,565 --> 00:20:27,867 Oh, God, it hurts! 457 00:20:27,901 --> 00:20:31,470 No one's ever felt this kind of pain before! 458 00:20:31,505 --> 00:20:33,139 I know it's hard, Dad. 459 00:20:33,173 --> 00:20:36,375 But we're both gonna have to learn to let go. 460 00:20:38,045 --> 00:20:39,345 Wait a minute. 461 00:20:39,379 --> 00:20:42,415 I think I have a solution to both our problems. 462 00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:45,351 (beeping, hissing) 463 00:20:45,385 --> 00:20:48,854 (gurgling, shrieking) 464 00:20:48,889 --> 00:20:50,890 Dear God. 465 00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:54,694 Yeah, didn't think that one all the way through. 466 00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,422 (weeping) 467 00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:13,071 (weeping continues) 468 00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:23,714 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 469 00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:27,346 Bye! Have a beautiful time.