1 00:00:01,095 --> 00:00:03,776 Okay, here's the text for your speech. I added a few more jokes, 2 00:00:03,896 --> 00:00:05,612 slamming Eagleton at the end. 3 00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:06,914 Mmm. That's the sexiest thing 4 00:00:06,916 --> 00:00:08,248 you've ever said to me. 5 00:00:08,250 --> 00:00:09,782 I'm so glad you're on my team. 6 00:00:09,902 --> 00:00:11,035 Are you sure you wanna attack 'em 7 00:00:11,037 --> 00:00:12,186 at this press conference? 8 00:00:12,188 --> 00:00:13,236 It's a friendly wager 9 00:00:13,238 --> 00:00:15,089 on a high school basketball game. 10 00:00:15,091 --> 00:00:16,740 I'm losing the recall election, Ben. 11 00:00:16,742 --> 00:00:18,008 Slamming Eagleton is the easiest way 12 00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:19,276 to score some points. 13 00:00:19,278 --> 00:00:21,195 Look. Am I proud of it? Yes. 14 00:00:21,197 --> 00:00:22,496 Because Eagleton sucks. 15 00:00:22,498 --> 00:00:23,881 But is it the classiest move? 16 00:00:23,883 --> 00:00:25,432 Yes, because Eagleton sucks. 17 00:00:25,434 --> 00:00:26,550 Would I do it again? 18 00:00:26,552 --> 00:00:28,202 Yes, because Eagleton sucks. 19 00:00:28,204 --> 00:00:29,403 This year, we get to host 20 00:00:29,405 --> 00:00:31,755 the Pawnee-Eagleton tip-off classic. 21 00:00:31,757 --> 00:00:35,075 That awful human being is Ingrid de Forest. 22 00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:37,027 She's a city councilor from Eagleton. 23 00:00:37,029 --> 00:00:38,796 She thinks she's so great because she won 24 00:00:38,798 --> 00:00:40,731 the Miss Indiana Beauty Pageant. 25 00:00:40,733 --> 00:00:43,333 Last year. While she was in office. 26 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,002 And pregnant. 27 00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:46,453 As always, we would like to make 28 00:00:46,455 --> 00:00:48,188 a friendly wager with Eagleton. 29 00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:49,757 If you beat us this year, 30 00:00:49,759 --> 00:00:51,925 we will give you a basket of apples 31 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:53,543 from our Pawnee orchard. 32 00:00:53,545 --> 00:00:55,079 Ew, pesticide. Yuck. 33 00:00:55,081 --> 00:00:56,830 Oh, no, these are pesticide-free. 34 00:00:56,832 --> 00:00:58,499 I ate one of these for breakfast this morning, 35 00:00:58,501 --> 00:00:59,883 and I found a worm in it. 36 00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:03,353 So, I bet somebody feels pretty stupid right now. 37 00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:06,407 Well, Leslie, I think we had similar ideas. 38 00:01:06,409 --> 00:01:09,093 If you win, Eagleton will give you 39 00:01:09,095 --> 00:01:10,811 this basket of oranges. 40 00:01:10,813 --> 00:01:11,895 [Chuckles] 41 00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,230 Of course, it's silly to compare 42 00:01:13,232 --> 00:01:15,866 apples and oranges, but what the heck. 43 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,551 These are made of Swarovski crystal, 44 00:01:17,553 --> 00:01:19,470 and they're worth $700,000. 45 00:01:19,472 --> 00:01:21,872 Leslie, you're down 15 points 46 00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:23,791 in the latest poll for the recall election. 47 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:25,676 What can you do to make up the deficit? 48 00:01:25,678 --> 00:01:27,428 I'll tell you what I'd do if I was an Eagletonian. 49 00:01:27,430 --> 00:01:28,912 I'd pop a Xanax 50 00:01:28,914 --> 00:01:30,664 and ask my butler to help me out. 51 00:01:30,666 --> 00:01:33,183 [Laughter] 52 00:01:33,185 --> 00:01:34,718 I mean, I'm not saying that Eagletonians 53 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,819 are out of touch. 54 00:01:35,821 --> 00:01:37,404 But when you tell 'em it's time 55 00:01:37,406 --> 00:01:38,839 to change their oil, they ask, 56 00:01:38,841 --> 00:01:40,891 "Extra virgin or white truffle?" 57 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:42,059 [Laughter] 58 00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:43,610 Thanks, guys. I'll see ya at the game. 59 00:01:43,612 --> 00:01:45,079 Unless, of course, you're an Eagletonian, 60 00:01:45,081 --> 00:01:46,747 and then you'll be too busy polishing your monocle 61 00:01:46,749 --> 00:01:48,365 at the caviar store. 62 00:01:48,367 --> 00:01:50,050 Knope out. [Microphone feedback] 63 00:01:50,052 --> 00:01:51,101 [Laughter] 64 00:01:51,103 --> 00:01:52,186 Yeah. 65 00:01:52,188 --> 00:01:55,172 [Triumphant music] 66 00:01:55,174 --> 00:02:03,080 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 67 00:02:12,474 --> 00:02:15,158 Who or what is Penny Saver? 68 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:17,611 It's a free circular with a bunch of coupons in it. 69 00:02:17,613 --> 00:02:19,746 This was sent to Ron Swanson 70 00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:21,131 at Diane's address, 71 00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:23,600 where I've lived for less than a month. 72 00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:25,269 How is that possible? 73 00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:27,771 This is an extreme invasion of privacy. 74 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:30,641 The right to privacy is very important to me. 75 00:02:30,643 --> 00:02:33,110 My family has had a single P.O. box 76 00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:34,795 for several generations. 77 00:02:34,797 --> 00:02:37,264 We only ever subscribe to two magazines, 78 00:02:37,266 --> 00:02:39,900 Reader's Digest and Ebony. 79 00:02:39,902 --> 00:02:41,818 Ebony was due to a clerical error, 80 00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:45,105 but it ended up being an interesting year of reading. 81 00:02:45,107 --> 00:02:46,556 I don't know how this was delivered to me, 82 00:02:46,558 --> 00:02:48,408 but it cannot happen again. 83 00:02:48,410 --> 00:02:49,710 How can I stop it? 84 00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:52,146 Mm. Donna is great with this sort of thing. 85 00:02:52,148 --> 00:02:54,248 She got me off the Williams-Sonoma mailing list, 86 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:55,899 but then I just signed back up again. 87 00:02:55,901 --> 00:02:57,084 Hooked on their oven mitts. 88 00:02:57,086 --> 00:02:58,535 I need my mitts on those mitts. 89 00:02:58,537 --> 00:03:00,187 Let me know the second Donna returns. 90 00:03:00,189 --> 00:03:01,471 According to her Twitter feed, 91 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,240 she got coffee five minutes ago. 92 00:03:03,242 --> 00:03:05,092 Wait, now she's Ustreaming her walk back. 93 00:03:05,094 --> 00:03:09,730 She should be here in three, two, one. 94 00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:11,331 Both: Hey, hey. 95 00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:14,434 Hashtag quest for coffee, blowin' up my timeline. 96 00:03:14,436 --> 00:03:15,903 You get my snapchat about it? 97 00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,905 - No. - What? 98 00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:20,174 There it is. 99 00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:22,926 - Hey, you wanted to see me? - I did. 100 00:03:22,928 --> 00:03:24,778 - Think fast. - Oh, my God. 101 00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:27,063 Hey, Dr. Buttons-- 102 00:03:27,065 --> 00:03:28,849 I mean, my old calculator. 103 00:03:28,851 --> 00:03:30,000 It doesn't have a name. 104 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,185 Why did you throw this at me? 105 00:03:31,187 --> 00:03:32,319 I just got off the phone with our old boss 106 00:03:32,321 --> 00:03:33,470 from Indianapolis, 107 00:03:33,472 --> 00:03:34,721 and apparently there may be some sort of 108 00:03:34,723 --> 00:03:36,590 a budget problem in Eagleton. 109 00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:39,092 He asked if maybe you and I 110 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:42,329 wouldn't have a look. You in? 111 00:03:42,331 --> 00:03:44,715 Butch Count-sidy and the Sum-dance Kid, 112 00:03:44,717 --> 00:03:46,683 together again. 113 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:51,672 Both: Hmm. - Auditing bros! 114 00:03:51,674 --> 00:03:55,425 Yeah, and auditing sistah. Let's do this. 115 00:03:55,427 --> 00:03:56,577 Oh, you're coming? 116 00:03:56,579 --> 00:03:57,778 If there's a problem with Eagleton, 117 00:03:57,780 --> 00:03:58,829 I wanna be there. 118 00:03:58,831 --> 00:04:00,130 That's like a dream come true. 119 00:04:00,132 --> 00:04:02,466 Besides, I have a new routine I'm working on. 120 00:04:02,468 --> 00:04:04,067 Kind of like a Jeff Foxworthy-type thing, 121 00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,285 but about Eagleton. 122 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:06,536 [Southern accent] If you make your omelet 123 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,922 out of Faberge eggs, 124 00:04:08,924 --> 00:04:11,725 you just might... Both: Be an Eagletonian. 125 00:04:11,727 --> 00:04:13,977 Yippee! Road trip! 126 00:04:13,979 --> 00:04:15,545 Who's excited to go to Bloomington? 127 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:16,930 Is that where you're gonna sit? 128 00:04:16,932 --> 00:04:18,982 I'm driving. Where else would I sit? 129 00:04:18,984 --> 00:04:20,383 Trunk. 130 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,019 I helped April get into vet school in Bloomington 131 00:04:22,021 --> 00:04:23,320 and today's her orientation, 132 00:04:23,322 --> 00:04:25,205 so we're taking a little road trip. 133 00:04:25,207 --> 00:04:26,640 While I'm there, I'm also gonna pick up 134 00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,124 an organic baby blanket. 135 00:04:28,126 --> 00:04:30,110 I would get one in Pawnee, but fun fact-- 136 00:04:30,112 --> 00:04:33,630 our only baby store is attached to a chemical refinery. 137 00:04:33,632 --> 00:04:36,717 I made a special road trip mix CD for us. 138 00:04:36,719 --> 00:04:39,720 - I hope you like Tori Amos. - Oh, cool. 139 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,242 It really is a pleasure to see you 140 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:46,510 in this context, Ingrid. 141 00:04:46,512 --> 00:04:47,561 Say cheese. 142 00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:49,746 Damn it. You look beautiful. 143 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,581 Can you give us a little more information 144 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,300 surrounding the deficits that you're running this year? 145 00:04:53,302 --> 00:04:54,635 Ooh, gosh. 146 00:04:54,637 --> 00:04:57,254 We don't really like to talk about 147 00:04:57,256 --> 00:04:58,405 [whispers] money. 148 00:04:58,407 --> 00:05:00,073 We find a little gauche. 149 00:05:00,075 --> 00:05:01,742 This is a budget meeting. 150 00:05:01,744 --> 00:05:03,427 Well, most of our files are in these boxes 151 00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:04,478 if you really wanna take a look 152 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,396 at how much that we've spent. 153 00:05:06,398 --> 00:05:07,397 Why don't we just dig in 154 00:05:07,399 --> 00:05:08,482 and see what we're up against? 155 00:05:08,484 --> 00:05:09,950 Yes. And thank you. 156 00:05:09,952 --> 00:05:12,602 We really appreciate your help. 157 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,554 Are you tipping me? 158 00:05:14,556 --> 00:05:17,541 Is that 100...Euros? 159 00:05:17,543 --> 00:05:20,443 People ought to have the right to be left alone. 160 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,813 I wanna get completely off the grid. 161 00:05:22,815 --> 00:05:24,064 That's crazy talk. 162 00:05:24,066 --> 00:05:25,382 I live for the grid. 163 00:05:25,384 --> 00:05:27,651 It's where I meet 40% of my jump-offs. 164 00:05:27,653 --> 00:05:28,835 And if you're off the grid, 165 00:05:28,837 --> 00:05:29,986 how are you gonna post photos 166 00:05:29,988 --> 00:05:31,421 of the dope food at restaurants you're at 167 00:05:31,423 --> 00:05:33,056 and all the cool places you're stuntin' in? 168 00:05:33,058 --> 00:05:34,141 Food is for eating. 169 00:05:34,143 --> 00:05:36,693 Places are for being. End of discussion. 170 00:05:36,695 --> 00:05:38,245 Don't leave the grid, Ron. The grid is the best. 171 00:05:38,247 --> 00:05:40,714 If anything, you need to get more on the grid. 172 00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:43,550 Both: Grid, grid, grid, grid, grid, grid, grid-- 173 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:44,768 If you help me get off the grid, 174 00:05:44,770 --> 00:05:46,720 I will let both of you go home early. 175 00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:50,957 Both: No grid, no grid, no grid, no grid. 176 00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:52,125 All right, so you have 177 00:05:52,127 --> 00:05:53,493 everything you need for orientation? 178 00:05:53,495 --> 00:05:55,645 Yeah, an empty Sprite can, 179 00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:58,015 an old man's fingernail in my pocket, 180 00:05:58,017 --> 00:06:00,434 and a picture of Patrick Ewing 181 00:06:00,436 --> 00:06:01,451 on a roller coaster. 182 00:06:01,453 --> 00:06:02,919 - I'm all set. - Great. 183 00:06:02,921 --> 00:06:05,155 Hi. My friend here is enrolling 184 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,423 in the vet school next month, 185 00:06:06,425 --> 00:06:08,175 and she would like to be shown around. 186 00:06:08,177 --> 00:06:10,126 Totally, happy to. I'm Laura. 187 00:06:10,128 --> 00:06:12,279 I'm April Ludgate Kevorkian. 188 00:06:12,281 --> 00:06:14,031 So you go with Laura, who seems really nice 189 00:06:14,033 --> 00:06:15,949 and does not deserve to be tortured. 190 00:06:15,951 --> 00:06:17,334 And I will come meet up with you 191 00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:19,102 after I finish at the baby store. 192 00:06:19,104 --> 00:06:20,687 Sure you wanna leave me here with her? 193 00:06:20,689 --> 00:06:22,105 What if I'm a murderer? 194 00:06:22,107 --> 00:06:24,507 [Laughs] Oh, that's funny. 195 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,910 This is worse than I could've imagined. 196 00:06:26,912 --> 00:06:29,112 Their debt-to-equity ratio is ridonkulous. 197 00:06:29,114 --> 00:06:31,131 [Laughs] What a hilarious word. 198 00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:32,916 It reminds me of a ridiculous donkey. 199 00:06:32,918 --> 00:06:34,000 He's the best. 200 00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,268 What does this mean for them? 201 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,686 They were in financial trouble 202 00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:38,805 a few years ago, like Pawnee was, 203 00:06:38,807 --> 00:06:42,225 but their government just kept borrowing money. 204 00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:43,560 Eagleton is on the brink 205 00:06:43,562 --> 00:06:45,695 of an epic financial disaster. 206 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:46,947 Ahh. 207 00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:50,650 Now that is the sexiest thing you've ever said to me. 208 00:06:50,652 --> 00:06:51,785 Really, that? 209 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,987 This is gonna hand me the recall election. 210 00:06:53,989 --> 00:06:55,705 I saved Pawnee from bankruptcy. 211 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,908 Now I get to remind people of that fact 212 00:06:57,910 --> 00:06:59,493 as we watch our worst enemy 213 00:06:59,495 --> 00:07:01,461 collapse into bankruptcy. 214 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,663 Plus, guess what I get to do after the game now. 215 00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:04,798 You pretend you're Ingrid. 216 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:05,949 Let's pretend this box 217 00:07:05,951 --> 00:07:07,634 is the basket of apples I bet them on the game. 218 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,002 I see where you're going with this. 219 00:07:09,004 --> 00:07:10,286 - No, you don't. - Yeah, you're gonna ask me 220 00:07:10,288 --> 00:07:11,755 - if I like apples-- - Do you like apples? 221 00:07:11,757 --> 00:07:13,473 We just watched this movie two nights ago, so-- 222 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:14,641 - Do you like apples? - I don't wanna do this. 223 00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,760 How about them apples? [Laughs] 224 00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,229 Paul, if you ever see another one of these 225 00:07:21,349 --> 00:07:21,865 with my name on it, 226 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,907 I want you to drive into the woods and bury it. 227 00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,660 I don't decide who gets mail, sir. 228 00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:26,778 I just deliver it. 229 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,213 Passing the buck-- 230 00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,932 the last refuge of the cowardly and black-hearted. 231 00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:33,452 - That seems harsh. - Get out. 232 00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:35,187 We got rid of your cell phone. 233 00:07:35,189 --> 00:07:37,689 This is your last credit card. 234 00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,825 Are you sure you want me to cut up this card? 235 00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:41,510 It gets you into the parking garage. 236 00:07:41,512 --> 00:07:42,811 I'll be taking the bus now, 237 00:07:42,813 --> 00:07:44,646 and I'll be paying in cash. 238 00:07:44,648 --> 00:07:47,299 What other traces of me exist in the world? 239 00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:48,633 Think, people. 240 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,385 Isn't there a photo of you up at JJ's diner, 241 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:51,903 from that time when you-- aah! 242 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,238 Come on, Tom! 243 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,290 This place is unbelievable. 244 00:07:55,292 --> 00:07:57,225 It has everything I need: 245 00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:59,945 Video monitors, lead-free pacifiers. 246 00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:01,630 These are the first bibs I've ever seen 247 00:08:01,632 --> 00:08:04,015 without Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s face on them. 248 00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,034 Really? 249 00:08:06,036 --> 00:08:07,586 April? 250 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:08,920 Excuse me, sorry. 251 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,189 April, why aren't you at orientation? 252 00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,407 Um, I was at orientation, 253 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,825 but it was lame, so I left. 254 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,377 And then I kept walking, and now here I am. 255 00:08:16,379 --> 00:08:18,079 We are going back there right now, young lady. 256 00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:20,081 - Mm-mm. - Come on. 257 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,867 God, get off me, stranger. 258 00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:23,602 I'm so sorry we're late. 259 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,070 We came from our bankruptcy brunch. 260 00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:27,789 And Michael Buble played, but he ran a little long. 261 00:08:27,791 --> 00:08:28,990 I love Michael Buble. 262 00:08:28,992 --> 00:08:31,226 Was a bankruptcy brunch the best idea? 263 00:08:31,228 --> 00:08:32,277 Sure, let's not have brunch... 264 00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:33,812 [Chuckles] like animals. 265 00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,997 Well, um, some of these expenditures 266 00:08:35,999 --> 00:08:37,782 are questionable. 267 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:40,835 Uh, you filled the public pools with bottled water? 268 00:08:40,837 --> 00:08:42,287 Total body hydration. 269 00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:43,421 What is this here? 270 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,891 This massive expenditure from public works? 271 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,943 Ah, yes. Well, yes. 272 00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:50,712 We purchased HBO for the whole town. 273 00:08:50,714 --> 00:08:52,514 I'm sorry. You spent government money 274 00:08:52,516 --> 00:08:54,266 on a TV subscription? 275 00:08:54,268 --> 00:08:56,368 It's not TV. 276 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,336 Al right. Uh, Leslie's put together 277 00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,555 a presentation for a financial recovery. 278 00:09:00,557 --> 00:09:01,589 Great. 279 00:09:01,591 --> 00:09:02,741 You may find it very informative. 280 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,743 Let's get started with our first slide. 281 00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:07,629 "Well, well, well..." 282 00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,130 Tsk, tsk, tsk. 283 00:09:10,432 --> 00:09:13,401 JJ, a few months ago, I came in here 284 00:09:13,403 --> 00:09:14,953 and began eating eggs. 285 00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,855 They were delicious, so I ordered more. 286 00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:18,807 Before long, I believe I had eaten-- 287 00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,775 51 eggs in 20 minutes. 288 00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,076 Couldn't cook 'em fast enough. 289 00:09:22,078 --> 00:09:23,962 The last ten were still in the shell. 290 00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:26,848 It was a JJ's Diner record, and you took his picture. 291 00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:29,834 Now, we need that picture, for privacy reasons. 292 00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,119 Okay, but I don't know 293 00:09:31,121 --> 00:09:33,221 how anybody would know it's you. 294 00:09:33,223 --> 00:09:36,658 We followed your instructions. 295 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,678 That's too much information. 296 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:40,879 Let's go. 297 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,163 Where are we going now? 298 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:45,500 I've eaten a lot of food in a lot of restaurants. 299 00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:49,220 Why is everyone else so bad at eating? 300 00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:50,722 I only agreed to come back here 301 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:51,806 because of our deal. 302 00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:53,041 Do you promise to play along? 303 00:09:53,043 --> 00:09:53,992 - Yes. - Do you? 304 00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:56,077 - Yes. - Hi, you're back. 305 00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:57,578 Hello again. 306 00:09:57,580 --> 00:09:58,846 As you remember, I'm April, 307 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,683 and this is Ann, my 65-year-old grandmother. 308 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:04,085 Yes, that's who I am. Anyway, 309 00:10:04,087 --> 00:10:05,353 we'd love to hear about Bloomington. 310 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,922 It seems like a real hip kind of college town. 311 00:10:07,924 --> 00:10:11,126 Mee-maw, God, no one uses the word hip anymore. 312 00:10:11,128 --> 00:10:12,978 Sometimes I wish you went down on the Titanic 313 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,679 with all your sorority sisters. 314 00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:15,780 I would be happy to show you guys 315 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,065 around the campus. 316 00:10:17,067 --> 00:10:19,000 Is there anything in particular that you wanna see? 317 00:10:19,002 --> 00:10:20,868 How are your local graveyards? 318 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,905 [Whispers] I have some planning to do. 319 00:10:23,907 --> 00:10:25,306 "You blew it. 320 00:10:25,308 --> 00:10:26,574 "Super hard. 321 00:10:26,576 --> 00:10:28,343 "Complete buffoonery. 322 00:10:28,345 --> 00:10:29,928 It's hilarious." 323 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,045 And "You deserve it." 324 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,263 Hey, you think you might wanna 325 00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:33,398 take it easy on them a little bit? 326 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,283 Oh, like they took it easy on us 327 00:10:35,285 --> 00:10:36,551 when they stole all our money 328 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:37,886 and seceded from our town? 329 00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:40,138 That was 200 years ago. Cool it. 330 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,823 Fine. I'll skip ahead. 331 00:10:41,825 --> 00:10:43,991 Do you have a plan that will help us or not? 332 00:10:43,993 --> 00:10:45,627 We have borrowed absolutely 333 00:10:45,629 --> 00:10:46,761 everything we can from the state. 334 00:10:46,763 --> 00:10:49,664 And really, Pawnee is our only hope. 335 00:10:49,666 --> 00:10:50,949 We do have a plan. 336 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:55,253 We are willing to provide a bridge loan for $50,000. 337 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,772 25% interest compounded monthly. 338 00:10:57,774 --> 00:10:59,491 And you need to release a statement that says 339 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,292 that Pawnee rules and Eagleton drools. 340 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,061 Well, now you're just being nasty. 341 00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,730 I understand that our towns have a complicated history, 342 00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:08,583 but we have a saying in Eagleton... 343 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,719 "You don't kick a dressage horse 344 00:11:10,721 --> 00:11:12,504 after a failed pas de deux." 345 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:13,738 Whatever, blondie. 346 00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:15,874 Your butler made your bed, now you gotta lie in it. 347 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,092 And if you walk out that door, 348 00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:19,678 none of us here, and I repeat, none of us 349 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,196 will ever help you again. 350 00:11:21,198 --> 00:11:22,497 Oh, my God. 351 00:11:22,499 --> 00:11:25,050 They have Michael Buble on retainer. 352 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:27,502 Okay, all public photos of me recovered. 353 00:11:27,504 --> 00:11:30,205 Nameplate removed from my office door. 354 00:11:30,207 --> 00:11:34,726 Pediatrician files confiscated and destroyed. 355 00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:36,528 - Anything I'm missing? - Great news, Ron. 356 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,096 Jean-Ralphio loves your shirt. 357 00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,881 What the hell are you talking about? 358 00:11:39,883 --> 00:11:41,182 Oh, I've been taking pictures of you all day 359 00:11:41,184 --> 00:11:42,350 for my new Facebook album: 360 00:11:42,352 --> 00:11:45,737 "RonSwan: Gettin' off the grid." 361 00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:48,322 Tom, do you maybe see a problem 362 00:11:48,324 --> 00:11:52,460 with what you've done? 363 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:55,747 I do now. Yes, sorry. 364 00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:58,083 Erase. 365 00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,351 Erase. Erase. 366 00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,904 Erase all pictures of Ron! 367 00:12:02,906 --> 00:12:05,824 Erase all pictures of Ron! 368 00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:08,426 Erase all pictures of Ron! 369 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:10,178 What the hell is happening? 370 00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,147 I think you accidentally opened up Vine. 371 00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:14,115 You just vined your first selfie, Ron. 372 00:12:14,117 --> 00:12:16,067 And I'm vining you vine your selfie. 373 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,337 The world is a nightmare. 374 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,422 [Both laughing] 375 00:12:21,424 --> 00:12:22,607 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 376 00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,943 Erase all pictures of Ron! 377 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:27,028 All: Erase all pictures of Ron! 378 00:12:27,030 --> 00:12:28,079 [Laughs] 379 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,898 The B-line is a cool outdoor trail 380 00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:31,900 that cuts right through downtown. 381 00:12:31,902 --> 00:12:34,435 She said the B-line is cool, Mee-maw. 382 00:12:34,437 --> 00:12:35,987 Cool means good. 383 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,206 Thank you, Laura, for showing us around. 384 00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:39,207 Sure. 385 00:12:39,209 --> 00:12:41,776 See you in a couple weeks, April. 386 00:12:41,778 --> 00:12:43,862 See? This place is great. 387 00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,580 Aren't you glad we came back and talked to her? 388 00:12:45,582 --> 00:12:47,048 No. It was pointless. 389 00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:48,550 I'm not going to school here. 390 00:12:48,552 --> 00:12:50,251 April, don't flake out on this. 391 00:12:50,253 --> 00:12:52,187 You're gonna love it here. Bloomington is great. 392 00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:55,790 It's got culture and music and tons of youngsters. 393 00:12:55,792 --> 00:12:59,144 Youngsters? Am I 65 years old? 394 00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:01,362 Yeah, I'm not going here. I don't want to. 395 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,781 Let's leave. 396 00:13:05,601 --> 00:13:07,519 - Think fast. - Oh! 397 00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:11,105 Why do people keep assuming I'm ready to catch things? 398 00:13:11,107 --> 00:13:13,575 "Eagleton: No money, mo' problems." 399 00:13:13,577 --> 00:13:14,759 Fantastic, right? 400 00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:16,010 I made enough of them for everybody 401 00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:17,044 to wear at the game. 402 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,596 I do like a good internal rhyme. 403 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:19,781 Ben, you ready for dinner? 404 00:13:19,783 --> 00:13:21,032 We can go over the poll numbers. 405 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,117 Oh...you know, 406 00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:24,786 I've got a few phone calls to make. 407 00:13:24,788 --> 00:13:26,421 Can you give me an hour? 408 00:13:26,423 --> 00:13:27,972 I can meet you there. 409 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:30,191 Oh, my God. 410 00:13:30,193 --> 00:13:32,443 - What is she doing here? - I'm sorry, Leslie, 411 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,329 but you didn't really help them very much, 412 00:13:34,331 --> 00:13:35,580 so we volunteered to give them 413 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,248 a little financial advice. 414 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,833 You didn't actually help us at all. 415 00:13:38,835 --> 00:13:41,669 - Just one second. - Yeah. 416 00:13:41,671 --> 00:13:43,838 I'm just gonna help them out, okay? 417 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,773 - Mm. - Just for an hour. 418 00:13:45,775 --> 00:13:47,308 He's just being a good neighbor. 419 00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:48,993 We're in a lot of trouble, Leslie. 420 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,328 I don't need any lip from you, okay? 421 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,946 You're in trouble because of your own stupidity. 422 00:13:51,948 --> 00:13:54,716 [Scoffs] I have a PhD from the Sorbonne. 423 00:13:54,718 --> 00:13:56,835 For what? Wearing Chanel suits? 424 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,220 There was a fashion component, yes. 425 00:13:59,222 --> 00:14:00,755 I'm not mad that you're doing this. 426 00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,456 Yes, I am mad that you're doing this. 427 00:14:02,458 --> 00:14:03,675 But even worse, I'm mad that you just 428 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,009 - lied to me about it. - Okay, I'm sorry. 429 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,294 We all swore that we weren't gonna 430 00:14:06,296 --> 00:14:07,929 ever help her again, ever. 431 00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:09,480 I never said that. You did. 432 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,349 I speak for all of us in all matters. 433 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,101 That is what you tacitly agreed to 434 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,263 - when you married me. - What? 435 00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:16,195 Yeah, let's go. You've changed your mind. 436 00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:17,481 You're not gonna help her anymore. 437 00:14:17,483 --> 00:14:18,482 Leslie, I just wanna 438 00:14:18,484 --> 00:14:19,915 borrow your husband for the evening. 439 00:14:24,225 --> 00:14:26,185 Can we please talk about what happened back there? 440 00:14:26,268 --> 00:14:28,453 What, Ann? I just stole your phone 441 00:14:28,573 --> 00:14:30,968 and texted every guy in it that the baby was theirs. 442 00:14:31,088 --> 00:14:32,209 It's not that big of a deal. 443 00:14:32,276 --> 00:14:33,742 Listen, I know you don't believe this, 444 00:14:33,744 --> 00:14:35,878 but I care about your future. 445 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,947 And I'm just a little disappointed 446 00:14:37,949 --> 00:14:39,882 that you're just not following through with this. 447 00:14:39,884 --> 00:14:42,466 Yeah, it's not about following through, okay? 448 00:14:42,495 --> 00:14:44,462 I was on the fence about whether I wanted to do it. 449 00:14:44,464 --> 00:14:48,066 And as soon as I got there, I just had a gut feeling 450 00:14:48,068 --> 00:14:50,035 that it wasn't right for me, that's all. 451 00:14:50,037 --> 00:14:52,838 So, just like that, boom--huge life decision made? 452 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,623 That's how I make all my life decisions. 453 00:14:54,625 --> 00:14:56,825 My gut is always right, okay? 454 00:14:56,827 --> 00:14:58,660 It was right about marrying Andy, 455 00:14:58,662 --> 00:14:59,845 and it was right when it told me 456 00:14:59,847 --> 00:15:00,979 that you would be the worst person 457 00:15:00,981 --> 00:15:02,480 I would ever meet in my life. 458 00:15:02,482 --> 00:15:04,332 And I've met Guy Fieri, Ann. 459 00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:05,417 [Chuckles] 460 00:15:05,419 --> 00:15:07,302 So gross! 461 00:15:07,304 --> 00:15:09,104 How do you get your gut to talk to you? 462 00:15:09,106 --> 00:15:10,739 You don't get your gut to talk to you. 463 00:15:10,741 --> 00:15:13,008 You just listen when it says something. 464 00:15:13,010 --> 00:15:15,810 Well, right now my gut is saying 465 00:15:15,812 --> 00:15:17,696 that we are going to listen to Mariah Carey 466 00:15:17,698 --> 00:15:19,247 the whole way home. 467 00:15:19,249 --> 00:15:20,832 [Vocalizing over radio] 468 00:15:20,834 --> 00:15:23,602 - Good. - [Ann vocalizing] 469 00:15:23,604 --> 00:15:25,954 [Whistle blows] 470 00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:31,860 [Cheers and applause] 471 00:15:33,112 --> 00:15:35,213 Whoa. Wow, I'm really surprised 472 00:15:35,215 --> 00:15:37,015 you're sitting on this side of the bleachers 473 00:15:37,017 --> 00:15:39,234 and not on the Eagleton side with your new girlfriend Ingrid. 474 00:15:39,236 --> 00:15:41,570 Leslie, I'm just trying to help them. 475 00:15:41,572 --> 00:15:43,421 Why? They wouldn't help us 476 00:15:43,423 --> 00:15:44,422 if the tables were turned. 477 00:15:44,424 --> 00:15:46,141 I mean, they're 50 points ahead, 478 00:15:46,143 --> 00:15:47,659 and they're still dunking. 479 00:15:47,661 --> 00:15:49,227 I mean, look at this guy. 480 00:15:49,229 --> 00:15:52,297 There's no way he is in high school. 481 00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:54,966 And I'm better at French horn too, Eric. 482 00:15:54,968 --> 00:15:56,067 [Whistle blows] 483 00:15:56,069 --> 00:15:58,436 [Crowd booing] 484 00:15:58,438 --> 00:16:00,405 People are gonna lose their jobs, Leslie. 485 00:16:00,407 --> 00:16:02,507 And the recovery will take years. 486 00:16:02,509 --> 00:16:06,027 Deep down, I think you feel bad for them. 487 00:16:06,029 --> 00:16:08,530 Okay, I do a little, yes. 488 00:16:08,532 --> 00:16:11,516 And I'm sorry that I blew up at you yesterday. 489 00:16:11,518 --> 00:16:13,151 With all the recall stuff happening, 490 00:16:13,153 --> 00:16:15,987 I just really need to feel like you're on my team, 491 00:16:15,989 --> 00:16:18,323 and seeing you with them 492 00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:20,258 made me feel like you weren't. 493 00:16:20,260 --> 00:16:22,010 I'm always gonna be on your team. 494 00:16:22,012 --> 00:16:24,362 You never have to worry about that. 495 00:16:24,364 --> 00:16:26,631 [Crowd chanting] Defense! 496 00:16:26,633 --> 00:16:28,883 All: Oh! 497 00:16:28,885 --> 00:16:32,370 Eagleton player number seven, injured on the play. 498 00:16:32,372 --> 00:16:33,822 Official time-out. 499 00:16:33,824 --> 00:16:35,674 Oh, God. 500 00:16:35,676 --> 00:16:37,058 I'm gonna say something. 501 00:16:37,060 --> 00:16:39,310 And if I throw up on you after I say it, 502 00:16:39,312 --> 00:16:40,912 just know that you've been warned. 503 00:16:40,914 --> 00:16:44,783 I know how we can help Eagleton. 504 00:16:44,785 --> 00:16:46,401 I don't see what the problem is. 505 00:16:46,403 --> 00:16:48,370 I will give you a certain amount of gold 506 00:16:48,372 --> 00:16:50,822 in exchange for a recreational vehicle. 507 00:16:50,824 --> 00:16:53,091 I still need an address for insurance purposes. 508 00:16:53,093 --> 00:16:54,926 This will be my new home. 509 00:16:54,928 --> 00:16:59,397 The address is wherever it is parked. 510 00:16:59,399 --> 00:17:00,849 Where have you been? 511 00:17:00,851 --> 00:17:02,467 I had a flat tire, and I've been trying 512 00:17:02,469 --> 00:17:04,102 to get in touch with you for hours. 513 00:17:04,104 --> 00:17:05,487 Sorry, darling. 514 00:17:05,489 --> 00:17:08,106 I've been busy destroying most of my personal effects 515 00:17:08,108 --> 00:17:10,458 and threatening a postal worker. 516 00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:12,560 Ron, I know you value your privacy, 517 00:17:12,562 --> 00:17:14,546 but you are a husband and a father now. 518 00:17:14,548 --> 00:17:16,247 You can't just roam the streets in an RV 519 00:17:16,249 --> 00:17:18,649 and be impossible to find. 520 00:17:18,651 --> 00:17:20,451 I'm on a mission to get off the grid. 521 00:17:20,453 --> 00:17:22,103 Well, you don't have to be entirely on the grid, 522 00:17:22,105 --> 00:17:23,921 but have to be on our grid. 523 00:17:23,923 --> 00:17:27,959 I suppose you wouldn't consider moving. 524 00:17:27,961 --> 00:17:30,011 I've heard the school system in the tunnels 525 00:17:30,013 --> 00:17:32,864 beneath Yucca Mountain is adequate. 526 00:17:32,866 --> 00:17:34,616 I love you, but your solution to every problem 527 00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:36,100 is to live inside a mountain. 528 00:17:36,102 --> 00:17:39,120 I love you too. 529 00:17:39,122 --> 00:17:41,039 Okay, one more time. 530 00:17:41,041 --> 00:17:42,223 Are you absolutely sure 531 00:17:42,225 --> 00:17:43,558 you wanna go through with this? 532 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,210 A lot of people are gonna get angry, 533 00:17:45,212 --> 00:17:47,962 and you might lose the recall election. 534 00:17:47,964 --> 00:17:50,882 Or, if I pull it off, I just might win. 535 00:17:50,884 --> 00:17:53,084 Plus, a very smart member of my team 536 00:17:53,086 --> 00:17:55,253 pointed out it's the right thing to do. 537 00:17:55,255 --> 00:17:56,721 Good morning. 538 00:17:56,723 --> 00:17:58,189 After an all-night strategy session, 539 00:17:58,191 --> 00:18:00,492 the towns of Pawnee and Eagleton 540 00:18:00,494 --> 00:18:02,377 have come up with a potential solution 541 00:18:02,379 --> 00:18:04,796 to Eagleton's budget crisis. 542 00:18:04,798 --> 00:18:06,715 The town of Eagleton will be dissolved 543 00:18:06,717 --> 00:18:09,284 and re-absorbed into Pawnee. 544 00:18:09,286 --> 00:18:11,269 [Exclamations] 545 00:18:11,271 --> 00:18:12,921 Pawnee will provide some government services, 546 00:18:12,923 --> 00:18:16,524 as well as taking on some of Eagleton's debts. 547 00:18:16,526 --> 00:18:17,675 [Murmuring, commotion] 548 00:18:17,677 --> 00:18:18,860 I understand. 549 00:18:18,862 --> 00:18:20,829 Look, I hate Eagletonians as much as you do. 550 00:18:20,831 --> 00:18:22,480 I hate their stupid beautiful faces 551 00:18:22,482 --> 00:18:24,549 and their stupid shiny hair. 552 00:18:24,551 --> 00:18:25,850 We looked at every alternative. 553 00:18:25,852 --> 00:18:27,218 This is the only scenario 554 00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:29,054 that prevents Eagleton's financial crisis 555 00:18:29,056 --> 00:18:30,955 from spiraling throughout the entire region. 556 00:18:30,957 --> 00:18:32,690 Eagleton is terrible! 557 00:18:32,692 --> 00:18:34,876 Why should I bail them out with the hard-earned money 558 00:18:34,878 --> 00:18:36,194 from my unemployment check? 559 00:18:36,196 --> 00:18:38,646 All: Yeah! - Because they are our neighbor 560 00:18:38,648 --> 00:18:39,981 and they've sprained their ankle. 561 00:18:39,983 --> 00:18:41,900 And when your neighbor sprains his ankle, 562 00:18:41,902 --> 00:18:43,267 you help him off the court. 563 00:18:43,269 --> 00:18:45,703 I understand you have concerns and questions, 564 00:18:45,705 --> 00:18:47,722 and we are here to listen to them. 565 00:18:47,724 --> 00:18:49,808 [Overlapping chatter] I got something to say. 566 00:18:49,810 --> 00:18:51,059 One at a time, please. 567 00:18:51,061 --> 00:18:52,944 I hate the one-at-a-time system! 568 00:18:52,946 --> 00:18:54,279 Why should we bail them out? 569 00:18:54,281 --> 00:18:56,081 No one bailed me out when I got arrested for arson. 570 00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:58,083 You can't just merge two towns. 571 00:18:58,085 --> 00:18:59,717 It's against the rules of nature. 572 00:18:59,719 --> 00:19:02,137 What's next-- merging a man with his dog? 573 00:19:02,139 --> 00:19:03,388 I live in Eagleton. 574 00:19:03,390 --> 00:19:05,256 And frankly, I don't like the idea 575 00:19:05,258 --> 00:19:06,591 of living in Pawnee. 576 00:19:06,593 --> 00:19:09,010 They're a little-- oh, what's the word? 577 00:19:09,012 --> 00:19:10,345 Have-no-money. 578 00:19:10,347 --> 00:19:12,263 [Exclamations] 579 00:19:12,265 --> 00:19:15,183 Bertram, that's enough. 580 00:19:15,185 --> 00:19:18,019 First of all, Eagleton has no money. 581 00:19:18,021 --> 00:19:20,471 Second of all, they are gracious enough 582 00:19:20,473 --> 00:19:21,823 to throw us a lifeline, 583 00:19:21,825 --> 00:19:23,158 and we should be eternally grateful 584 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,976 for their generosity. 585 00:19:24,978 --> 00:19:26,644 They're a town of angels-- 586 00:19:26,646 --> 00:19:29,447 greasy, denim-clad angels, 587 00:19:29,449 --> 00:19:31,166 but angels nonetheless. 588 00:19:31,168 --> 00:19:32,984 Yeah, we'll take it. 589 00:19:34,769 --> 00:19:36,838 I mean, did you steal this from a museum? 590 00:19:37,078 --> 00:19:38,578 Maybe find it frozen in ice? 591 00:19:38,629 --> 00:19:40,080 It looks like the original phone 592 00:19:40,131 --> 00:19:41,548 from the movie Wall Street. 593 00:19:41,582 --> 00:19:44,084 I think it's just the original phone, period. 594 00:19:44,135 --> 00:19:47,203 Ew, gross, it has "buttons." 595 00:19:47,221 --> 00:19:49,756 Okay, girls, this is a magic phone, okay? 596 00:19:49,807 --> 00:19:51,725 Only you and I have got the numbers. 597 00:19:51,759 --> 00:19:53,894 So if you ever need Ron for any reason, 598 00:19:53,928 --> 00:19:55,728 you just call and he'll be there in a flash. 599 00:19:55,848 --> 00:19:58,265 Yes, I will. I'll keep it right here. 600 00:19:58,316 --> 00:20:00,183 It snaps right in, snug and secure. 601 00:20:00,217 --> 00:20:01,685 A cell phone belt clip? 602 00:20:01,719 --> 00:20:03,770 No, Ron. Oh, my God! 603 00:20:03,821 --> 00:20:06,389 Yeah, I can't be seen with you. 604 00:20:06,407 --> 00:20:07,941 Travelin' Ann Perkins! 605 00:20:07,992 --> 00:20:09,392 How was Bloomington? 606 00:20:09,410 --> 00:20:11,028 It was amazing. 607 00:20:11,062 --> 00:20:12,612 They had all the baby supplies we need, 608 00:20:12,663 --> 00:20:14,531 and they had all this other cool stuff. 609 00:20:14,565 --> 00:20:16,566 They had a bike-sharing program 610 00:20:16,584 --> 00:20:20,037 and a vegan Afghan restaurant and-- 611 00:20:20,071 --> 00:20:21,254 Oh, my God. I'm having one. 612 00:20:21,289 --> 00:20:23,573 - I'm having one right now. - A contraction? 613 00:20:23,591 --> 00:20:25,759 No. Dude, I'm, like, three months pregnant. 614 00:20:25,793 --> 00:20:27,961 I-I know. I'm just so excited. 615 00:20:28,012 --> 00:20:31,765 The thing I'm having is a gut feeling. 616 00:20:31,799 --> 00:20:33,383 What would you think about raising our child 617 00:20:33,417 --> 00:20:36,236 somewhere other than Pawnee? 618 00:20:37,739 --> 00:20:39,322 Thank you, Leslie, 619 00:20:39,357 --> 00:20:41,658 from all of us in Eagleton. 620 00:20:41,692 --> 00:20:44,394 Our citizens owe you a debt of gratitude. 621 00:20:44,412 --> 00:20:45,829 Well, I think at the end of the day, 622 00:20:45,863 --> 00:20:48,025 everybody realizes it's something we have to do. 623 00:20:48,145 --> 00:20:49,399 On the bright side, 624 00:20:49,434 --> 00:20:51,835 we did win the basketball game. 625 00:20:51,869 --> 00:20:53,170 I think you owe us some apples. 626 00:20:53,204 --> 00:20:55,205 - You better pay up. - Oh, you don't want them. 627 00:20:55,239 --> 00:20:57,207 All of Pawnee's apples have been recalled-- 628 00:20:57,241 --> 00:20:59,342 - g. Coli. - You mean e. Coli? 629 00:20:59,377 --> 00:21:00,510 I wish. 630 00:21:00,545 --> 00:21:02,451 Way easier to treat. 631 00:21:02,835 --> 00:21:04,742 Welcome to Pawnee!