1
00:00:17,357 --> 00:00:19,992
(thunder crashing)
2
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,287
(electrical crackling,
bird squawks)
3
00:00:25,535 --> 00:00:26,835
(moaning growls)
4
00:00:29,772 --> 00:00:31,506
(bellows)
5
00:00:32,395 --> 00:00:34,296
(moaning)
6
00:00:34,744 --> 00:00:36,475
(gasps)
7
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:39,581
(electrical crackling)
8
00:00:40,533 --> 00:00:42,269
(grunts)
9
00:00:46,967 --> 00:00:49,135
(suspenseful music plays)
10
00:00:49,181 --> 00:00:50,248
(birds cawing)
11
00:00:50,275 --> 00:00:52,276
(yelling)
12
00:00:58,255 --> 00:00:59,522
(gasps)
13
00:01:04,206 --> 00:01:05,526
(grunting)
14
00:01:06,472 --> 00:01:08,701
(whistle blows)
15
00:01:09,046 --> 00:01:11,181
(shrieks)
16
00:01:11,584 --> 00:01:12,784
(screams)
17
00:01:16,892 --> 00:01:18,426
(gasps)
18
00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:22,845
♪ The Simpsons 25x02 ♪
Treehouse of Horror XXIV
Original Air Date on October 6, 20
19
00:01:22,870 --> 00:01:27,870
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther and jasonnguyen2606
20
00:01:33,077 --> 00:01:34,277
(yells)
21
00:01:38,418 --> 00:01:39,685
(beeping)
22
00:01:40,422 --> 00:01:41,989
(groans)
23
00:01:44,088 --> 00:01:45,321
(singing opera)
24
00:01:45,350 --> 00:01:47,831
(playing the blues)
25
00:01:48,861 --> 00:01:50,495
(playing the blues)
26
00:01:54,657 --> 00:01:56,325
(monster shrieking)
27
00:01:58,012 --> 00:01:59,213
(bird caws)
28
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,313
(chuckles)
29
00:02:03,614 --> 00:02:05,833
(all screaming)
30
00:02:09,613 --> 00:02:11,714
(all moaning, shrieking)
31
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,814
(horn honking)
32
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:17,911
(panting)
33
00:02:18,816 --> 00:02:20,662
(screams)
34
00:02:24,793 --> 00:02:26,460
(tires screech)
35
00:02:28,143 --> 00:02:29,381
D'oh!
36
00:02:29,681 --> 00:02:31,616
(horn honking)
(yells)
37
00:02:33,637 --> 00:02:35,138
(moaning)
38
00:02:36,897 --> 00:02:38,765
(screaming)
39
00:02:38,799 --> 00:02:40,099
(screaming fades,
clocks ticking)
40
00:02:40,134 --> 00:02:41,859
(grunts, gasps)
41
00:02:53,764 --> 00:02:55,565
(electrical zapping)
42
00:03:08,242 --> 00:03:11,089
LISA: 'Twas Halloween night,
with the kids door-to-dooring,
43
00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:14,500
and all over town the
blood sugar was soaring.
44
00:03:15,184 --> 00:03:16,453
(doorbell rings)
45
00:03:16,619 --> 00:03:18,387
Give me your candy!
46
00:03:21,503 --> 00:03:24,635
LISA: But the Simpson abode
was deep down in the dumps,
47
00:03:24,661 --> 00:03:28,253
'cause from little to bigger,
the kids had the mumps.
48
00:03:28,293 --> 00:03:31,349
MARGE: Now, I'm off to a party,
my outfit is chic.
49
00:03:31,367 --> 00:03:34,670
It's a Catwoman costume,
I'm sure is unique.
50
00:03:34,704 --> 00:03:36,004
(dog howls)
51
00:03:36,226 --> 00:03:38,372
Wait a second...
it's Halloween?
52
00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:41,673
MARGE: Just rest on the sofa,
I'll be home by 10:00.
53
00:03:41,692 --> 00:03:44,823
- Can we have some candy?
MARGE: Just one M&M.
54
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,919
LISA:
Then we heard a loud crash.
55
00:03:50,968 --> 00:03:53,335
HOMER: D'oh!
- We were tempted to scat.
56
00:03:53,390 --> 00:03:55,253
BART:
And we looked and we saw him...
57
00:03:55,289 --> 00:03:57,064
LISA/BART:
The Fat in the Hat!
58
00:03:57,089 --> 00:03:59,722
I'll save Halloween for
you three grumpy tots.
59
00:03:59,745 --> 00:04:03,422
Just stick out your rumps for
some mump-stumping shots!
60
00:04:03,616 --> 00:04:04,660
(sighs)
61
00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:07,552
Now hop on my cycle,
there's nothing to fear.
62
00:04:07,575 --> 00:04:10,490
And we shall have candy...
and maybe some beer.
63
00:04:10,675 --> 00:04:11,406
Huh?
64
00:04:11,430 --> 00:04:13,998
You should not be here
when their mother's away!
65
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:17,155
And you should be dead,
you're so wrinkled and gray!
66
00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:19,859
I'll give you the business,
you yellow sea cow!
67
00:04:19,878 --> 00:04:22,461
This go-getting oldster will...
68
00:04:22,641 --> 00:04:24,129
Where am I now?
69
00:04:24,548 --> 00:04:25,529
(grunts)
70
00:04:25,586 --> 00:04:28,374
We'll fix up this mix-up
in two minutes flat,
71
00:04:28,391 --> 00:04:30,972
with the helpers I've hidden
right under my hat.
72
00:04:31,001 --> 00:04:32,498
(kids exclaim)
73
00:04:33,178 --> 00:04:36,898
I... uh, I knew there was
something I left off my list.
74
00:04:36,923 --> 00:04:39,909
Without food, air and water,
they cease to exist.
75
00:04:43,252 --> 00:04:45,033
(explosion)
76
00:04:45,364 --> 00:04:47,899
I am the Borax.
I speak for the woods.
77
00:04:47,935 --> 00:04:51,092
But I've plastered my
likeness on consumer goods.
78
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,071
HOMER:
Sellout!
79
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:55,307
Hey!
80
00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:01,450
♪ Oh, the Fat in the Hat
doesn't care what moms say ♪
81
00:05:01,466 --> 00:05:04,685
♪ The minute they leave
you, he'll take you away ♪
82
00:05:04,779 --> 00:05:06,826
- (gasps)
- ♪ His breakfast is dinner
83
00:05:06,860 --> 00:05:08,609
♪ His dinner's dessert
84
00:05:08,633 --> 00:05:12,396
♪ You might see his name
on an AMBER Alert! ♪
85
00:05:12,691 --> 00:05:14,458
Trick or treat!
86
00:05:14,509 --> 00:05:17,121
Who buzzed the buzzard?
Don't pester the rich.
87
00:05:17,141 --> 00:05:19,771
I don't hand out candy,
you son of a Gritch.
88
00:05:20,202 --> 00:05:23,799
BART: He pulled out bamfoozlers
and side-winding gizzles.
89
00:05:23,836 --> 00:05:24,816
(explosion)
(laughing)
90
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:27,963
BART: He laughed as he heard
that old codger's house-sizzles.
91
00:05:27,990 --> 00:05:30,792
Let this be a lesson
to those who love cash,
92
00:05:30,825 --> 00:05:33,260
that your nice stash of cash
could be gone in a flash.
93
00:05:33,319 --> 00:05:35,977
And if you are awful
and nasty and cruel...
94
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,603
Enough with the lessons!
This isn't a school!
95
00:05:38,696 --> 00:05:40,895
(neck cracks)
96
00:05:43,621 --> 00:05:47,669
♪ Once a year we
are not hungry ♪
97
00:05:47,732 --> 00:05:51,682
♪ Thanks to Christian charity.
98
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:52,720
(all gag)
99
00:05:55,362 --> 00:05:58,364
(toilet flushing)
(snoring)
100
00:05:58,655 --> 00:06:01,315
I don't got no candy,
I only serve beer.
101
00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:03,569
And who said that you could
bring minors in here?
102
00:06:03,599 --> 00:06:06,759
Your peanuts are pawed through,
your beer smells like skunk.
103
00:06:06,792 --> 00:06:09,864
And you just pissed off
the wrong fat, furry drunk!
104
00:06:09,898 --> 00:06:11,033
(gasps) Hey, hey, hey!
105
00:06:11,050 --> 00:06:12,938
This is supposed to be
a children's story!
106
00:06:12,992 --> 00:06:15,758
Go grab all his money
and vodka and gin.
107
00:06:15,790 --> 00:06:18,925
And I'll knit a nice thnord
from his leathery skin.
108
00:06:19,136 --> 00:06:21,801
Say, Mr. Hat, I don't
mean to complain,
109
00:06:21,820 --> 00:06:25,674
but you promised us candy,
not mayhem and pain.
110
00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:27,778
BART: The dude thought a while,
then said:
111
00:06:27,811 --> 00:06:32,311
I know a man! With an overpriced store,
who'll give all that he can.
112
00:06:32,341 --> 00:06:34,503
Take whatever you want.
I don't want any trouble.
113
00:06:34,535 --> 00:06:36,898
Take Jims that are Slim,
and gum of the bubble.
114
00:06:36,947 --> 00:06:40,435
I won't shoot you now, 'cause
I've found something cruel-ah,
115
00:06:40,474 --> 00:06:44,079
an afternoon off with
eight kids and Manjula.
116
00:06:44,150 --> 00:06:46,218
(bike bell rings, kids laughing)
117
00:06:48,551 --> 00:06:51,951
(kids laughing)
APU: No...!
118
00:06:53,476 --> 00:06:55,322
♪ Oh, the Fat in the Hat
119
00:06:55,355 --> 00:06:57,075
♪ Has some anger issues
120
00:06:57,101 --> 00:07:00,766
♪ And some highly unusual
political views ♪
121
00:07:00,779 --> 00:07:04,560
♪ If he comes a-calling,
you'd better hide ♪
122
00:07:04,585 --> 00:07:08,198
♪ 'Cause he's committing
aggravated floop-fluffle-cide! ♪
123
00:07:08,523 --> 00:07:10,085
Don't forget me!
124
00:07:10,673 --> 00:07:12,593
♪ Floop-fluffle-cide!
125
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:15,027
BART: We had to escape
from this behatted mammal.
126
00:07:15,042 --> 00:07:17,836
LISA: So we hitched us a ride
on a three-hump gumbamel!
127
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,490
A gumbamel's a camel but
faster and humbler.
128
00:07:20,528 --> 00:07:22,925
It doesn't take tips and
it's never a grumbler.
129
00:07:22,953 --> 00:07:25,375
So if you must leave
in a kind of a scramble,
130
00:07:25,449 --> 00:07:27,725
then jump on the hump
of a humble gumbamel.
131
00:07:27,744 --> 00:07:30,263
BART: But if the gumbamel should ramble,
then stumble,
132
00:07:30,282 --> 00:07:32,676
then just hop atop a
Krustiferous Krumbull.
133
00:07:32,694 --> 00:07:34,459
But then if that Krumbull
should happen to tumble,
134
00:07:34,474 --> 00:07:36,375
just call your amigo,
the bee man of bumble.
135
00:07:36,392 --> 00:07:37,112
(exhales)
136
00:07:37,145 --> 00:07:38,198
BEE MAN:
Ay-yi-yi!
137
00:07:38,236 --> 00:07:41,066
LISA: We thought we'd escaped
from our psychotic guide...
138
00:07:41,090 --> 00:07:44,374
but when we got home,
he was waiting inside!
139
00:07:44,396 --> 00:07:47,359
I'm staying forever.
You're all stuck with that.
140
00:07:47,386 --> 00:07:50,577
'Cause I'm your new daddy,
the Fat in the...
141
00:07:50,795 --> 00:07:52,228
(screams)
142
00:07:55,377 --> 00:07:58,265
I'm frightened of nothing,
not even hellfires.
143
00:07:58,296 --> 00:08:02,153
Just don't let me ever
be played by Mike Myers.
144
00:08:02,223 --> 00:08:02,948
(groans)
145
00:08:04,822 --> 00:08:08,142
BART: Now please do not worry,
'cause we did okay.
146
00:08:09,186 --> 00:08:12,576
Yes, kids will get candy,
whatever you say.
147
00:08:24,896 --> 00:08:26,071
PILOT:
What the hell?!
148
00:08:26,095 --> 00:08:27,718
(Bart laughs)
149
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:31,827
- Bart, isn't it dangerous to fly your kite
by an airport? - PILOT: Stupid kids!
150
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:35,227
Hey, if they get on an airbus,
they know they're taking their chances.
151
00:08:37,848 --> 00:08:39,274
Kite at 2:00!
152
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:41,716
I don't know what that means,
I have a digital watch!
153
00:08:43,449 --> 00:08:45,083
(pilots scream)
154
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:47,925
(both groan)
155
00:08:48,364 --> 00:08:52,913
What's my wife's picture doing
on your control screen? Over.
156
00:08:52,939 --> 00:08:55,214
Homina, homina, homina. Over.
157
00:09:05,748 --> 00:09:06,948
(yawns)
158
00:09:07,139 --> 00:09:08,139
(groans)
159
00:09:08,174 --> 00:09:11,658
Nowhere to tie my kite...
and I forgot my scarf.
160
00:09:11,670 --> 00:09:12,308
(gasps)
161
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:13,755
Bingo!
162
00:09:18,275 --> 00:09:20,595
I'm seeing a 12-car pileup,
163
00:09:20,617 --> 00:09:23,676
a naked rooftop cookout,
and... Oh, my God!
164
00:09:23,694 --> 00:09:26,050
A box kite! (screams)
165
00:09:27,993 --> 00:09:28,840
(sighs)
166
00:09:28,865 --> 00:09:31,053
Well, at least it's
a beautiful night.
167
00:09:31,073 --> 00:09:32,206
(grunts)
168
00:09:34,270 --> 00:09:37,297
I'm alive! All patched up!
End of story.
169
00:09:37,365 --> 00:09:39,110
Actually, there's a little more.
170
00:09:39,135 --> 00:09:40,702
Ay, caramba!
171
00:09:40,737 --> 00:09:44,194
I'm sorry. This was the only way
to lengthen Bart's life for a year
172
00:09:44,218 --> 00:09:45,685
while shortening yours by 30.
173
00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:47,645
I thought I was donating blood.
174
00:09:47,667 --> 00:09:52,823
You are. Along with lymph, spinal fluid,
and all the trimmings. (chuckles)
175
00:09:52,986 --> 00:09:55,588
But, Lisa, your brain is
still in complete control.
176
00:09:55,604 --> 00:09:59,108
I could do what
I want to Bart's head?
177
00:09:59,563 --> 00:10:02,623
Aw, geez.
Strangle me out of this, Fatso.
178
00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:06,867
Why you little...! I'll teach you
to make medical history!
179
00:10:07,704 --> 00:10:08,829
Oops.
180
00:10:10,995 --> 00:10:12,670
Ah, all good.
181
00:10:12,705 --> 00:10:13,683
D'oh!
182
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:14,680
(neck cracks)
183
00:10:15,368 --> 00:10:17,941
(humming)
184
00:10:18,810 --> 00:10:19,839
(spits)
185
00:10:19,914 --> 00:10:24,611
Hey, boy, since you don't need a bedroom
anymore, I finally get my man cave.
186
00:10:24,808 --> 00:10:26,575
♪ Man cave!
187
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,729
♪ Everyone's welcome
to my man cave! ♪
188
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:39,458
I assure you, we've spared no effort to
accommodate your special-needs student.
189
00:10:39,483 --> 00:10:41,264
And... done.
190
00:10:41,366 --> 00:10:44,469
So, in conclusion,
my show-and-tell is...
191
00:10:44,486 --> 00:10:45,954
this!
192
00:10:46,888 --> 00:10:49,043
Excellent, Lisa.
A-plus.
193
00:10:49,076 --> 00:10:50,562
Bart, your turn.
194
00:10:50,580 --> 00:10:54,392
Well, my show-and-tell is
that I'm on Lisa's body.
195
00:10:54,414 --> 00:10:56,982
Derivative and repetitive!
F-minus.
196
00:10:56,999 --> 00:10:58,762
- Aw!
- (giggles)
197
00:10:58,899 --> 00:11:02,065
Bart, I expected more
from a fourth-grade head.
198
00:11:02,102 --> 00:11:04,068
(gasps)
199
00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:07,578
You're rotating it
in the wrong direction!
200
00:11:07,619 --> 00:11:09,821
(both grunting)
201
00:11:09,949 --> 00:11:12,651
That was gonna be
my show-and-tell!
202
00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:17,722
Bart, Lisa, I'm afraid you two are
going to be together for a long time.
203
00:11:17,847 --> 00:11:20,706
Why don't you try to say
something good about each other?
204
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,198
Well, she's pretty healthy for someone
who's been living with cooties.
205
00:11:24,243 --> 00:11:26,537
Bart, aren't Lisa's ears clean?
206
00:11:26,570 --> 00:11:29,406
Yeah. It's like looking
down a Canadian tunnel.
207
00:11:29,442 --> 00:11:31,056
- What else?
- Well...
208
00:11:31,095 --> 00:11:33,644
now I always have
someone to eat lunch with.
209
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,210
Great!
210
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,629
That's as much therapy
as your parents can afford.
211
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,800
I think we've made
some progress here.
212
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:42,569
Great...
213
00:11:42,593 --> 00:11:45,492
Oh, and I have this
"two heads for one" coupon.
214
00:11:45,527 --> 00:11:46,733
Well, that's for lettuce.
215
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:50,877
How about this one? "One random disorder
free with every schizophrenia."
216
00:11:51,059 --> 00:11:53,050
That's mine, but it's expired.
217
00:11:53,125 --> 00:11:53,863
D'oh!
218
00:11:53,893 --> 00:11:56,558
(playing "When the
Saints Go Marching In")
219
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,564
Should've chopped off
Bart's head long ago.
220
00:12:06,272 --> 00:12:10,710
Sleep well, Lis. Somehow, sewing my head on
your shoulder brought us closer together.
221
00:12:10,811 --> 00:12:11,718
Rainbow...
222
00:12:11,743 --> 00:12:13,108
oh, Rainbow...
223
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,960
Oh... not the pony dream again.
224
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:16,992
(gasps)
225
00:12:17,017 --> 00:12:19,973
Hey, I did that.
226
00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:22,719
Yep, that's me.
227
00:12:22,751 --> 00:12:25,953
When she's asleep, I'm in control.
228
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,912
Lis, I'm gonna make
sure you stay asleep.
229
00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:32,152
(laughs evilly)
230
00:12:36,648 --> 00:12:38,612
Ooh, mix-ins!
231
00:12:40,095 --> 00:12:41,365
Mmm.
232
00:12:41,753 --> 00:12:42,753
(snores)
233
00:12:42,784 --> 00:12:44,612
(falls down stairs,
grunts, shouts)
234
00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:45,762
Son of a...
235
00:12:45,778 --> 00:12:46,803
(grunts)
236
00:12:46,846 --> 00:12:47,846
(snoring)
237
00:12:52,082 --> 00:12:53,327
(engine sputters, dies)
238
00:12:53,345 --> 00:12:56,571
You start a car as well
as you start a family.
239
00:12:56,647 --> 00:12:59,506
You wait here while I go
get the jumper cables.
240
00:13:01,876 --> 00:13:04,046
MRS. SKINNER:
Oh, a panic attack, huh?
241
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:06,937
Well, I'll give you
something to panic about!
242
00:13:06,967 --> 00:13:08,286
(grunting)
243
00:13:09,174 --> 00:13:10,312
(groans)
244
00:13:11,721 --> 00:13:15,529
Now I'll just cut off her annoying
head and this body will be all mine.
245
00:13:15,554 --> 00:13:16,754
Or we both die.
246
00:13:16,780 --> 00:13:18,902
Not really sure
what the rules are.
247
00:13:18,930 --> 00:13:19,738
(gasps)
248
00:13:19,818 --> 00:13:22,901
Why, Bart?
I thought we were friends.
249
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:25,047
A brother can never
be friends with his sister.
250
00:13:25,059 --> 00:13:28,139
- Are you really, really sure?
- I'm afraid I am.
251
00:13:28,173 --> 00:13:30,274
Well, then, I guess
I have no choice.
252
00:13:30,289 --> 00:13:31,620
(yells)
253
00:13:31,731 --> 00:13:33,647
How could this go wrong?
254
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,882
'Cause in a head-to-head battle,
the one with the most brains wins!
255
00:13:37,242 --> 00:13:38,137
(groans)
256
00:13:40,472 --> 00:13:41,635
(groans)
257
00:13:41,664 --> 00:13:45,430
Well, wherever I am,
it's gotta be an improvement.
258
00:13:45,461 --> 00:13:46,886
Guess again.
259
00:13:47,336 --> 00:13:48,180
(moans)
260
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:50,864
Now I can always
sing karaoke duets.
261
00:13:50,883 --> 00:13:52,387
- ♪ Mock...
- Yeah.
262
00:13:52,405 --> 00:13:53,943
- ♪ Ing...
- Yeah.
263
00:13:53,968 --> 00:13:55,725
I feel your pain, brother.
264
00:13:55,742 --> 00:13:59,727
Now, I need you to memorize these
10,000 setups by next week.
265
00:13:59,762 --> 00:14:00,931
Help me, Doctor.
266
00:14:00,949 --> 00:14:04,381
So this is what successful
post-op looks like.
267
00:14:08,165 --> 00:14:10,508
(circus music plays)
268
00:14:10,612 --> 00:14:14,537
BURNSUM: Step right up.
Step right up, only two bits!
269
00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:16,594
(snickering)
270
00:14:19,452 --> 00:14:21,239
(slurps, growls)
271
00:14:22,312 --> 00:14:23,646
Thrill as...
272
00:14:25,237 --> 00:14:28,240
Thrill as Marguerite
conquers the air!
273
00:14:34,955 --> 00:14:36,882
(cheering)
274
00:14:36,901 --> 00:14:38,924
Laugh at the clown's buffoonery!
275
00:14:38,942 --> 00:14:42,791
Seriously, folks, I really think
we should stop this Hitler guy.
276
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,649
(laughing)
277
00:14:44,928 --> 00:14:49,468
Disbelieve, as the Strong Man pulls
a wagon with his bare tongue!
278
00:14:49,501 --> 00:14:51,601
♪ This is the song that
you hear at the circus ♪
279
00:14:51,626 --> 00:14:53,745
♪ Sung by a guy that you
see at the circus ♪
280
00:14:53,764 --> 00:14:55,809
(muffled):
♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do
281
00:14:55,824 --> 00:14:56,958
♪ Do-do-do...
282
00:14:56,992 --> 00:14:57,959
D'oh!
283
00:14:57,967 --> 00:15:01,643
Or gape in terror at Almighty
God's whoopsy-daisies...
284
00:15:01,663 --> 00:15:02,997
the Freaks!
285
00:15:03,379 --> 00:15:04,695
(crowd exclaims)
286
00:15:05,741 --> 00:15:07,375
The Human Donkey.
287
00:15:07,392 --> 00:15:08,910
Hee-haw!
288
00:15:08,937 --> 00:15:10,956
The Terrifying Callback.
289
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,460
- ♪ Mock
- Yeah.
290
00:15:12,482 --> 00:15:14,138
- ♪ Ing...
- Yeah.
291
00:15:14,170 --> 00:15:16,291
Creatures from another galaxy!
292
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,938
Actually, it's more
of a globular cluster.
293
00:15:20,546 --> 00:15:22,085
Not the dark, not the dark!
294
00:15:22,091 --> 00:15:22,953
Ah!
295
00:15:22,982 --> 00:15:26,079
And now... I must ask
that small children leave,
296
00:15:26,095 --> 00:15:30,106
good women avert their eyes, and men
take a stiff slug of circus whiskey.
297
00:15:30,218 --> 00:15:34,127
Behold, the most hideous
creature of all.
298
00:15:35,279 --> 00:15:36,996
- How ya doin'?
- (audience screams)
299
00:15:37,010 --> 00:15:39,328
So, uh, anyone here
from New Jersey?
300
00:15:39,353 --> 00:15:40,783
I'm goin' there next week.
301
00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:42,379
(screams)
302
00:15:42,614 --> 00:15:44,615
(humming)
303
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:48,269
(humming continues)
304
00:15:48,298 --> 00:15:49,230
Whoa!
305
00:15:49,261 --> 00:15:51,266
(grunting)
306
00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:53,735
(humming)
307
00:15:53,773 --> 00:15:55,786
- Hey, torso! What's with the cookies?
- Huh?
308
00:15:55,805 --> 00:15:58,202
Even the human snail
would've been done by now.
309
00:15:58,223 --> 00:16:03,127
I am so sick and tired of people assuming
that the human snail is, in some way, slow.
310
00:16:03,188 --> 00:16:04,636
Good day!
311
00:16:04,661 --> 00:16:06,783
(grunts)
312
00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:13,014
All of you! Get back out there with your
flippers flapping, and your stumps a-stumping!
313
00:16:13,028 --> 00:16:15,951
Joe and Jane Normal expect some
entertainment for their nickel!
314
00:16:15,974 --> 00:16:20,490
Mr. Burnsum! You should treat
these poor people with respect!
315
00:16:20,526 --> 00:16:22,460
Marge! Get away
from those freaks.
316
00:16:22,501 --> 00:16:25,990
You belong to me!
The dumb, hairless brute.
317
00:16:26,043 --> 00:16:29,596
Well, you are the best
this circus has to offer.
318
00:16:29,624 --> 00:16:31,490
(laughing)
319
00:16:31,508 --> 00:16:34,218
Taste the strength
of your fiancé.
320
00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:37,619
Ooh!
321
00:16:38,091 --> 00:16:39,622
Ooh...
322
00:16:39,675 --> 00:16:42,046
With the mighty tongue
God's given you,
323
00:16:42,065 --> 00:16:45,676
why can't you speak kindly
of these imperfect angels?
324
00:16:45,702 --> 00:16:48,499
Marge, they knew what
they were getting into
325
00:16:48,510 --> 00:16:51,035
when their parents sold
them to the circus.
326
00:16:51,066 --> 00:16:55,441
Enough! You will comport yourself with the
dignity expected of a traveling freak show.
327
00:16:55,787 --> 00:16:56,787
(grunts)
328
00:16:59,126 --> 00:17:03,429
Excuse me, ma'am, but, uh, I ain't
never seen a normal stand up for us.
329
00:17:03,447 --> 00:17:04,447
(sighs)
330
00:17:04,467 --> 00:17:06,142
I, too, am a freak.
331
00:17:06,180 --> 00:17:09,429
One eye is blue,
and the other a pale brown.
332
00:17:09,577 --> 00:17:11,380
I wouldn't want to be you, lady.
333
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:13,937
Never give up hope, my friends.
334
00:17:16,499 --> 00:17:20,434
Of all the kisses I have ever gotten
in my life, that was the first.
335
00:17:20,502 --> 00:17:22,363
Hey, you should
ask her out, Moe.
336
00:17:22,388 --> 00:17:24,785
Ah, but she's sweet
on the strong man.
337
00:17:24,816 --> 00:17:28,476
You're fine unless Rabbit Ears
hears and tells Big Mouth.
338
00:17:28,783 --> 00:17:30,717
(whispering)
339
00:17:31,015 --> 00:17:32,677
Wha...?!
340
00:17:32,706 --> 00:17:35,508
I ain't got no chance with
the strong man's girl.
341
00:17:35,535 --> 00:17:38,792
He makes ten dollars a week plus
all the sawdust he can eat.
342
00:17:38,826 --> 00:17:40,631
Well, you've got an emerald ring.
343
00:17:41,951 --> 00:17:43,151
My mother's ring.
344
00:17:43,197 --> 00:17:43,858
(sobs)
345
00:17:43,883 --> 00:17:45,966
She gave it to me
on her deathbed.
346
00:17:45,991 --> 00:17:48,084
She also acquired it
on her deathbed.
347
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:49,965
That was a very busy deathbed.
348
00:17:49,995 --> 00:17:53,039
With an emerald that big,
I could buy anything.
349
00:17:53,075 --> 00:17:57,130
A jalopy, an icebox, a steamer
trunk full of fedoras!
350
00:17:57,151 --> 00:17:59,662
But how do I get my hands on it?
351
00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:01,922
Oh, I'm an idiot! Of course!
352
00:18:01,941 --> 00:18:05,501
I get Marge to marry Moe,
then I kill Moe, then she gets the ring,
353
00:18:05,526 --> 00:18:07,393
then I marry her
and the ring is mine.
354
00:18:07,422 --> 00:18:10,527
And the brilliance of my
plan is its simplicity.
355
00:18:11,506 --> 00:18:14,024
You're gonna be sorry
you said that.
356
00:18:14,053 --> 00:18:17,356
You're gonna be sorry
you said that.
357
00:18:17,390 --> 00:18:22,681
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...
358
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:24,833
I just lost my keys!
359
00:18:24,858 --> 00:18:26,533
Whoa-whoa-whoa...
360
00:18:26,536 --> 00:18:29,523
What do you know?
I am gathering moss!
361
00:18:29,594 --> 00:18:30,894
(owl hoots)
362
00:18:31,325 --> 00:18:33,287
Hey, Marge, you want
to marry Moe?
363
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,616
I'm engaged to you, my love.
364
00:18:35,641 --> 00:18:39,649
- The poor, lonely fellow is about to die.
- Really? How?
365
00:18:39,678 --> 00:18:41,545
Well, let me worry about how.
366
00:18:41,568 --> 00:18:44,516
But you know, you could make
his last day a happy one.
367
00:18:44,529 --> 00:18:46,949
And the ring is just
the icing on the cake.
368
00:18:46,968 --> 00:18:51,217
- What ring?
- The ring that'll get me out of this lousy circus
369
00:18:51,259 --> 00:18:53,614
and into a good circus.
Now, let's get you married.
370
00:18:53,630 --> 00:18:55,612
But wouldn't you
be jealous, my love?
371
00:18:55,632 --> 00:18:56,275
(laughs)
372
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:58,343
Dear, I am not the jealous type.
373
00:18:58,367 --> 00:19:03,551
And from you, I have learned to feel
compassion for these disgustos.
374
00:19:03,568 --> 00:19:05,002
Aw...
375
00:19:05,068 --> 00:19:08,262
(solemnly):
♪ She's a superfreak
376
00:19:08,286 --> 00:19:10,649
♪ Superfreak
377
00:19:10,685 --> 00:19:13,449
♪ She's superfreaky
378
00:19:13,474 --> 00:19:15,049
♪ Yow.
379
00:19:15,075 --> 00:19:16,412
"Yow" indeed.
380
00:19:16,430 --> 00:19:18,830
And so, with the conclusion of
our traditional wedding song,
381
00:19:18,861 --> 00:19:21,755
I now declare you
husband and wife.
382
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:26,941
Moe, whatever small time together
we have will be wonderful.
383
00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:27,939
(laughs)
384
00:19:27,957 --> 00:19:29,727
A very small time!
385
00:19:29,743 --> 00:19:31,766
Those are strange
things to say,
386
00:19:31,813 --> 00:19:35,883
but a wedding is no place to worry about
threats from the bride's former lover.
387
00:19:35,896 --> 00:19:38,474
Now, the toast.
To you, Marge.
388
00:19:38,526 --> 00:19:40,093
Now you are one of us.
389
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:43,846
FREAKS (chanting):
One of us! Gooble goo!
390
00:19:43,879 --> 00:19:47,571
One of us! Gooble goo!
391
00:19:47,597 --> 00:19:49,998
Why is it company parties
always get weird?
392
00:19:50,244 --> 00:19:51,545
(cork pops)
393
00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:54,935
God, you are so beautiful
in that peignoir there.
394
00:19:54,959 --> 00:19:57,294
I, uh, better freshen
up a little bit.
395
00:19:58,672 --> 00:19:59,939
(humming)
396
00:19:59,986 --> 00:20:01,722
Set it to "massage," Jumbo.
397
00:20:03,418 --> 00:20:06,053
(humming)
398
00:20:07,364 --> 00:20:09,035
Hmm? What are you doing?
399
00:20:09,063 --> 00:20:13,249
Oh! Trying to kill Moe so
we'll get his emerald!
400
00:20:13,287 --> 00:20:15,882
By the way, I haven't checked,
but emeralds are valuable, right?
401
00:20:15,917 --> 00:20:16,607
(gasps)
402
00:20:16,626 --> 00:20:18,232
Strong Man!
403
00:20:18,261 --> 00:20:23,927
Moe may be ugly on the outside,
but inside, you are the true monster.
404
00:20:23,941 --> 00:20:25,842
Leave my trailer forever!
405
00:20:25,877 --> 00:20:27,358
You're rejecting me?
406
00:20:27,390 --> 00:20:31,565
But I'm in the best shape
anyone is in the 1930s.
407
00:20:31,579 --> 00:20:32,685
I said go!
408
00:20:32,697 --> 00:20:34,067
(whimpers)
409
00:20:37,132 --> 00:20:39,550
(chanting):
One of us! Gooble goo!
410
00:20:39,574 --> 00:20:41,781
One of us! Gooble goo!
411
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,969
What the hell does
"gooble goo" mean?
412
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,235
(chanting):
We don't know! Gooble goo!
413
00:20:46,269 --> 00:20:48,776
We don't know! Gooble goo!
414
00:20:50,413 --> 00:20:51,132
(gasps)
415
00:20:51,145 --> 00:20:52,621
You killed Burnsum!
416
00:20:52,638 --> 00:20:55,107
Now who is gonna say,
"Step right up"?
417
00:20:55,163 --> 00:20:57,608
FREAKS:
Gooble goo! Gooble goo!
418
00:20:57,633 --> 00:20:59,033
Tar and feather him!
419
00:20:59,096 --> 00:21:01,212
Tear off his drumsticks!
420
00:21:01,257 --> 00:21:03,476
Make him... one of us!
421
00:21:03,501 --> 00:21:04,860
FREAKS (chanting):
One of us!
422
00:21:04,893 --> 00:21:08,928
- One of us!
- This is exactly why circus attendance is plummeting!
423
00:21:08,949 --> 00:21:12,759
And that, kids, is how
I met your mother.
424
00:21:12,809 --> 00:21:15,129
(How I Met Your Mother
theme music playing)
425
00:21:15,162 --> 00:21:21,341
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther and jasonnguyen2606
426
00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:00,411
FREAKS (chanting):
One of us!