1
00:00:05,532 --> 00:00:07,400
Awkward silence.
2
00:00:07,402 --> 00:00:08,684
Sheldon on his phone.
3
00:00:08,686 --> 00:00:09,719
No touching.
4
00:00:09,721 --> 00:00:13,122
Somebody's having date night.
5
00:00:13,124 --> 00:00:15,208
It's actually steamier
than it looks.
6
00:00:15,210 --> 00:00:18,077
Sheldon's looking up the phallic
symbolism of root vegetables
7
00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:19,796
in Renaissance paintings.
8
00:00:19,798 --> 00:00:21,447
Oh, no, I got bored
with that.
9
00:00:21,449 --> 00:00:25,418
I'm just browsing
cuticle scissors on Amazon.
10
00:00:26,370 --> 00:00:28,004
How do you
not tear off his clothes
11
00:00:28,006 --> 00:00:30,556
and take him right here
on this table?
12
00:00:30,558 --> 00:00:33,259
If you do that, I'll scream.
13
00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:38,631
Sheldon, I have some
exciting news to tell you.
14
00:00:38,633 --> 00:00:39,782
That makes two of us.
15
00:00:39,784 --> 00:00:41,267
My new cuticle scissors
will be here
16
00:00:41,269 --> 00:00:43,152
in one to two business days.
17
00:00:43,154 --> 00:00:45,721
Come on, one.
18
00:00:45,723 --> 00:00:47,824
I've been invited to
consult on an experiment
19
00:00:47,826 --> 00:00:50,193
at your university
for a few months.
20
00:00:50,195 --> 00:00:51,327
Isn't that great?
21
00:00:51,329 --> 00:00:52,912
We could have lunch together.
22
00:00:52,914 --> 00:00:54,314
We could carpool.
23
00:00:54,316 --> 00:00:56,466
You know, riding with Leonard
24
00:00:56,468 --> 00:00:58,735
has gotten
a little tedious lately.
25
00:00:58,737 --> 00:01:02,205
Th-The only car game he ever
wants to play is the Quiet Game.
26
00:01:02,207 --> 00:01:03,306
And he's terrible at it.
27
00:01:03,308 --> 00:01:05,458
I always win.
28
00:01:06,844 --> 00:01:08,728
So, you're okay with this?
29
00:01:08,730 --> 00:01:10,396
Well, why wouldn't I be?
30
00:01:10,398 --> 00:01:12,432
Well, this project
would have us working
31
00:01:12,434 --> 00:01:14,467
in close proximity
to one another.
32
00:01:14,469 --> 00:01:15,968
And there's the vulgar adage
33
00:01:15,970 --> 00:01:19,639
that one should not
defecate where one eats.
34
00:01:19,641 --> 00:01:21,974
My father used to say
that all the time.
35
00:01:21,976 --> 00:01:25,161
That and, um, "Who does one
have to orally gratify
36
00:01:25,163 --> 00:01:27,880
to get a drink around here?"
37
00:01:29,233 --> 00:01:31,718
But what does that have to do
38
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:33,636
with you working
at the university?
39
00:01:33,638 --> 00:01:36,239
Sheldon, "Don't defecate
where you eat,"
40
00:01:36,241 --> 00:01:38,274
means don't have a
romantic relationship
41
00:01:38,276 --> 00:01:39,876
in the workplace.
42
00:01:41,078 --> 00:01:43,062
Really?
43
00:01:45,766 --> 00:01:47,383
Yes.
44
00:01:47,385 --> 00:01:48,468
Huh.
45
00:01:48,470 --> 00:01:50,787
Yeah, I always
took it literally.
46
00:01:50,789 --> 00:01:53,622
That's why I have never
once moved my bowels
47
00:01:53,624 --> 00:01:55,992
in this or any restaurant.
48
00:01:55,994 --> 00:01:57,944
Hmm.
49
00:01:57,946 --> 00:01:59,979
I'm relieved that you
don't have a problem
50
00:01:59,981 --> 00:02:01,264
with us working together.
51
00:02:01,266 --> 00:02:03,516
Not as relieved
as I'm about to be.
52
00:02:04,518 --> 00:02:06,753
It's a brave new world,
little lady.
53
00:02:09,189 --> 00:02:12,825
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
54
00:02:12,827 --> 00:02:16,162
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
55
00:02:16,164 --> 00:02:17,813
♪ The Earth began to cool
56
00:02:17,815 --> 00:02:20,333
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
57
00:02:20,335 --> 00:02:23,002
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
58
00:02:23,004 --> 00:02:25,688
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
59
00:02:25,690 --> 00:02:27,573
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
60
00:02:27,575 --> 00:02:28,341
♪ Bang! ♪
61
00:02:28,342 --> 00:02:32,342
♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x05 ♪
The Workplace Proximity
Original Air Date on October 17, 2013
62
00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:37,367
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
63
00:02:37,818 --> 00:02:39,385
Are you crazy?
64
00:02:39,387 --> 00:02:40,436
You don't want
65
00:02:40,438 --> 00:02:42,305
your girlfriend
at work with you.
66
00:02:42,307 --> 00:02:45,007
Hell Clam.
67
00:02:45,009 --> 00:02:46,526
Why not?
68
00:02:46,528 --> 00:02:49,112
Hairy Fairy.
69
00:02:49,114 --> 00:02:50,680
I think it could be romantic.
70
00:02:50,682 --> 00:02:52,649
You know, my parents met
at his place of work.
71
00:02:52,651 --> 00:02:55,685
Your father's a gynecologist.
72
00:02:55,687 --> 00:02:56,869
I know.
73
00:02:56,871 --> 00:02:59,822
What started as a pap smear
turned into a date.
74
00:03:01,292 --> 00:03:02,675
Which turned
into her working there,
75
00:03:02,677 --> 00:03:04,644
which turned into marriage,
which then turned into hatred,
76
00:03:04,646 --> 00:03:07,196
which continues to this day.
77
00:03:07,298 --> 00:03:10,066
Two-Eyed Cyclops.
78
00:03:10,068 --> 00:03:12,902
Would you please tell him
this isn't a good idea?
79
00:03:12,904 --> 00:03:14,270
No, no, I think it'll be great.
80
00:03:14,272 --> 00:03:15,888
Maybe next time he gets
conjunctivitis at work,
81
00:03:15,890 --> 00:03:19,942
she can hold his head and try
to put the drops in his eyes.
82
00:03:19,944 --> 00:03:22,428
Giant baby.
83
00:03:22,430 --> 00:03:24,280
That's a Raging Ogre.
84
00:03:24,282 --> 00:03:26,516
Yeah, I know.
85
00:03:28,519 --> 00:03:30,686
I'm just saying, I'd never want
to work with Bernadette.
86
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:32,655
Can you imagine seeing
someone all day long
87
00:03:32,657 --> 00:03:34,123
and then you're
supposed to hang out
88
00:03:34,125 --> 00:03:35,825
with them after work, too?
89
00:03:35,827 --> 00:03:37,493
Hold on. We do
that all the time.
90
00:03:37,495 --> 00:03:39,228
You and I work together
and play together.
91
00:03:39,230 --> 00:03:42,882
Yeah, I know, and it drove me
into the arms of another woman.
92
00:03:44,701 --> 00:03:46,719
Bipolar Bear.
93
00:03:46,721 --> 00:03:49,605
Well, I appreciate your concern,
94
00:03:49,607 --> 00:03:52,809
but I won't be seeing any more
of Amy than I already do.
95
00:03:52,811 --> 00:03:55,094
I assume we'll deduct
any extra time we spend together
96
00:03:55,096 --> 00:03:57,964
at work from our weekly quota.
97
00:03:59,883 --> 00:04:02,552
Please let me be there
when you tell her that.
98
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,688
Why? So you can see the
look on Amy's face
99
00:04:05,690 --> 00:04:07,990
when she hears
my top-notch idea?
100
00:04:07,992 --> 00:04:10,576
Please, oh, please,
just let me be there.
101
00:04:12,546 --> 00:04:15,681
So, Amy, what are you gonna
be working on at Caltech?
102
00:04:15,683 --> 00:04:17,467
I'm leading a study to see
103
00:04:17,469 --> 00:04:19,368
if deficiency of the
monoamine oxidase enzyme
104
00:04:19,370 --> 00:04:21,444
leads to paralyzing
fear in monkeys.
105
00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:22,339
Oh.
106
00:04:22,340 --> 00:04:25,158
If they're anything like humans,
the answer's yes.
107
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,577
Wait, you've-you've done
this experiment on humans?
108
00:04:27,579 --> 00:04:30,263
You mean like death row inmates
with nothing to lose?
109
00:04:30,365 --> 00:04:33,082
No, that would be unethical.
110
00:04:34,618 --> 00:04:36,586
You know,
not a lot of people know this,
111
00:04:36,588 --> 00:04:37,837
but the monoamine oxidase enzyme
112
00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:39,789
was discovered by a woman,
Mary Bernheim.
113
00:04:42,276 --> 00:04:43,542
That's right.
114
00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:46,545
My phone is just
as smart as you guys.
115
00:04:47,264 --> 00:04:48,314
(knocking)
116
00:04:48,316 --> 00:04:49,448
SHELDON:
Amy, Bernadette, Penny.
117
00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:51,150
(knocks) Amy, Bernadette,
Penny.
118
00:04:51,152 --> 00:04:53,536
(knocks)
Amy, Bernadette, Penny.
119
00:04:53,538 --> 00:04:56,305
He's never gonna
stop doing that, is he?
120
00:04:56,307 --> 00:04:57,440
I don't mind.
121
00:04:57,442 --> 00:04:59,108
I'm hoping to put
his love of repetition
122
00:04:59,110 --> 00:05:00,860
to good use someday.
123
00:05:03,246 --> 00:05:05,231
Hi. Um...
124
00:05:05,233 --> 00:05:06,399
I've reconsidered.
125
00:05:06,401 --> 00:05:07,900
Uh, you can't work
where I work.
126
00:05:07,902 --> 00:05:09,268
Enjoy the rest
of your evening.
127
00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:10,903
Sheldon.
128
00:05:10,905 --> 00:05:13,122
I-I already signed
the contract.
129
00:05:13,124 --> 00:05:14,523
I cashed a check.
130
00:05:14,525 --> 00:05:16,575
Mmm... you are not going
131
00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:18,427
to come out of
this looking good.
132
00:05:18,429 --> 00:05:19,662
PENNY: Sheldon,
I don't understand.
133
00:05:19,664 --> 00:05:21,580
I thought you said
you were fine with it.
134
00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:22,698
Well, I was.
135
00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:24,333
But that was before
Howard explained to me
136
00:05:24,335 --> 00:05:26,469
how awful it would be
if he had to work
137
00:05:26,471 --> 00:05:28,137
with his significant other.
138
00:05:28,139 --> 00:05:30,723
He said what?
139
00:05:30,725 --> 00:05:32,675
Now, don't be insulted.
140
00:05:32,677 --> 00:05:36,896
He just thinks too much of you
would be mind-numbingly tedious.
141
00:05:36,898 --> 00:05:40,066
Excuse me, I need to have
a chat with my husband.
142
00:05:40,068 --> 00:05:41,901
Yeah, well, now,
well... keep it short.
143
00:05:41,903 --> 00:05:45,438
Fr-From what I gather,
brevity is your friend.
144
00:05:46,573 --> 00:05:48,741
So, are we good here?
145
00:05:48,743 --> 00:05:50,326
No, we're not good here.
146
00:05:50,328 --> 00:05:51,827
I am working on this project.
147
00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:54,080
Yeah, and you can't tell her
what she can and cannot do.
148
00:05:54,082 --> 00:05:56,098
Last week, you told Leonard
he couldn't wear
149
00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:58,300
his Wookiee jacket
out in public.
150
00:05:58,302 --> 00:05:59,518
That's different.
151
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,454
I'm not going to the mall
with someone dressed
152
00:06:01,456 --> 00:06:03,539
dumb space bear.
153
00:06:05,575 --> 00:06:07,626
Sheldon, you don't have to worry
about me bothering you.
154
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:08,878
I'll be in a different building.
155
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,746
And we don't even have
to have lunch together.
156
00:06:10,748 --> 00:06:11,864
Really?
157
00:06:11,866 --> 00:06:14,517
Yes. Before all things,
I'm a scientist.
158
00:06:14,519 --> 00:06:16,969
I'm just there to do my work
and, with a little luck,
159
00:06:16,971 --> 00:06:19,605
scare the living crap
out of some monkeys.
160
00:06:19,607 --> 00:06:23,142
Hmm.
161
00:06:23,144 --> 00:06:25,811
You sure your mothlike
personality won't be drawn
162
00:06:25,813 --> 00:06:28,564
to this blazing fire
that is myself?
163
00:06:31,535 --> 00:06:33,786
More and more sure.
164
00:06:33,788 --> 00:06:36,872
Well, then, you
have my permission.
165
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:37,957
I didn't ask
for your permission.
166
00:06:37,959 --> 00:06:39,158
Too late. No backsies.
167
00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:44,413
No, no, listen to me.
Sheldon misunderstood.
168
00:06:44,415 --> 00:06:45,381
What I meant was,
169
00:06:45,383 --> 00:06:46,448
if we worked together,
170
00:06:46,450 --> 00:06:48,117
there'd be too much
of me for you,
171
00:06:48,119 --> 00:06:50,252
not the other way around.
172
00:06:50,254 --> 00:06:52,722
Howard, if you're going
to lie to your wife,
173
00:06:52,724 --> 00:06:55,324
don't start the sentence
with "Sheldon misunderstood."
174
00:06:56,877 --> 00:06:58,010
That's a dead giveaway.
175
00:06:58,012 --> 00:06:59,929
Well?
176
00:06:59,931 --> 00:07:01,130
Okay, fine.
177
00:07:01,132 --> 00:07:02,898
I did say that,
and I think it's true.
178
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,017
I think if we worked together
and lived together,
179
00:07:05,019 --> 00:07:06,519
we'd get sick of each other.
180
00:07:06,521 --> 00:07:08,104
Yeah, but to be fair,
he only said the part
181
00:07:08,106 --> 00:07:09,188
about him
getting sick of you.
182
00:07:09,190 --> 00:07:11,023
For the love of God, why?!
183
00:07:15,212 --> 00:07:17,863
What exactly do you
think you'd get sick of?
184
00:07:17,865 --> 00:07:20,015
His only options here
are to fake a heart attack
185
00:07:20,017 --> 00:07:22,384
or have a real one.
186
00:07:22,386 --> 00:07:25,654
It-it's nothing
in particular. I...
187
00:07:25,656 --> 00:07:27,823
Is it my voice?
Am I too bossy?
188
00:07:27,825 --> 00:07:28,958
(quietly):
What...?
189
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,877
My arm is feeling numb.
190
00:07:32,796 --> 00:07:35,781
Nailed it.
191
00:07:35,783 --> 00:07:39,385
That's the wrong arm for
a heart attack, doofus.
192
00:07:41,221 --> 00:07:44,356
My point is, I'm sure
there are things about me
193
00:07:44,358 --> 00:07:46,642
that would drive you crazy
if you had to deal
194
00:07:46,644 --> 00:07:48,394
with them all day long.
195
00:07:48,396 --> 00:07:50,596
Like looking me in the
eye and lying to me?
196
00:07:50,598 --> 00:07:52,148
Oh, well, come on, I just...
197
00:07:52,150 --> 00:07:55,401
Where am I supposed to
look when I lie to you?
198
00:07:55,403 --> 00:07:57,753
Find somewhere else
to sleep tonight.
199
00:07:57,755 --> 00:07:59,905
Oh, Bernie...
200
00:08:06,863 --> 00:08:10,466
If it makes you feel any better,
Amy and I are fine.
201
00:08:13,069 --> 00:08:15,237
I mean, really good.
202
00:08:17,474 --> 00:08:19,842
So, boys, how was
the pajama party?
203
00:08:19,844 --> 00:08:23,729
You guys jump on the bed
and sing into hair brushes?
204
00:08:23,731 --> 00:08:25,931
It wasn't a pajama party.
205
00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:28,434
It was just a couple of bros
hanging out, giggling,
206
00:08:28,436 --> 00:08:31,520
eating cookie dough
and watching Princess Bride.
207
00:08:33,073 --> 00:08:34,607
Please, stop talking.
208
00:08:36,243 --> 00:08:38,861
As you wish.
209
00:08:42,666 --> 00:08:44,733
I mean, you know, Sheldon,
none of this would've happened
210
00:08:44,735 --> 00:08:46,202
if I hadn't tried
to help you.
211
00:08:46,204 --> 00:08:48,787
Uh, it also wouldn't
have happened
212
00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:50,289
if, in the early universe,
213
00:08:50,291 --> 00:08:53,792
hydrogen was a little more
common or a little less common.
214
00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:56,278
This is fun. Your turn.
215
00:08:57,264 --> 00:08:58,597
Gentlemen.
Hey, Amy.
216
00:08:58,599 --> 00:09:00,282
Hello.
217
00:09:00,284 --> 00:09:01,684
That was kind of icy.
218
00:09:01,686 --> 00:09:03,335
You two okay?
219
00:09:03,337 --> 00:09:04,353
Oh, we're fine.
220
00:09:04,355 --> 00:09:05,771
As Howard advised,
221
00:09:05,773 --> 00:09:07,973
she's merely respecting our
professional boundaries.
222
00:09:07,975 --> 00:09:08,941
Smart.
223
00:09:08,943 --> 00:09:10,543
Take relationship advice
from a man
224
00:09:10,545 --> 00:09:12,962
who spent last night
braiding Raj's hair.
225
00:09:15,431 --> 00:09:18,450
Yeah, you make
a good point.
226
00:09:18,452 --> 00:09:20,653
It would appear
I was worried for nothing.
227
00:09:20,655 --> 00:09:22,204
Look at her, desperately wishing
228
00:09:22,206 --> 00:09:24,156
she was over here
at the cool table.
229
00:09:26,576 --> 00:09:28,327
Don't worry, little moth.
230
00:09:28,329 --> 00:09:30,629
The flame will come to you.
231
00:09:32,832 --> 00:09:34,567
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Oh, uh...
232
00:09:34,569 --> 00:09:36,385
on the off chance that
Bernadette doesn't call back
233
00:09:36,387 --> 00:09:37,770
and apologize,
how do you feel
234
00:09:37,772 --> 00:09:39,672
about Mexican food
for dinner tonight?
235
00:09:39,674 --> 00:09:41,840
I-I don't know.
Sounds kind of heavy.
236
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:44,810
That's 'cause you always
fill up on chips.
237
00:09:44,812 --> 00:09:47,479
And this is Dr. Gunderson
from Stockholm.
238
00:09:47,481 --> 00:09:49,031
Ah, Sweden.
239
00:09:49,033 --> 00:09:50,733
Yeah, home of my favorite Muppet
240
00:09:50,735 --> 00:09:53,719
and, uh,
second favorite meatball.
241
00:09:57,140 --> 00:10:01,343
Okay, the Nordic reputation for
lack of humor is well-founded.
242
00:10:02,812 --> 00:10:05,581
Boy, is his name Gunderson
or No-Funderson?
243
00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:09,068
Where are we going
with this, Dr. Cooper?
244
00:10:09,070 --> 00:10:11,103
Oh, please, I'm your boyfriend.
245
00:10:11,105 --> 00:10:13,555
You call me Sheldon.
246
00:10:13,557 --> 00:10:16,158
That's right,
I am in a boy-girl relationship
247
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,928
with this cute little
lump of wool.
248
00:10:18,930 --> 00:10:20,045
Sheldon...
249
00:10:20,047 --> 00:10:21,764
It's a physical
relationship, too.
250
00:10:21,766 --> 00:10:25,517
Hand-holding, hugging...
even on hot days.
251
00:10:25,519 --> 00:10:27,386
Ow.
252
00:10:28,171 --> 00:10:29,538
Okay, here's a new one.
253
00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:31,140
Apparently now
we kick each other
254
00:10:31,142 --> 00:10:32,775
in the shin under the table.
255
00:10:34,477 --> 00:10:37,012
How do you like it
when I do it to you?
256
00:10:38,398 --> 00:10:41,066
Not so much, huh?
257
00:10:53,498 --> 00:10:55,883
Test subject D7,
258
00:10:55,885 --> 00:10:58,535
aka Betsy, fear response study.
259
00:10:58,537 --> 00:11:02,389
Image number one: Frenchman
on bicycle carrying baguettes.
260
00:11:05,393 --> 00:11:08,395
No visible reaction.
261
00:11:08,397 --> 00:11:10,764
Image number two: sousaphone.
262
00:11:13,234 --> 00:11:14,735
Still no reaction.
263
00:11:14,737 --> 00:11:15,736
Okay.
264
00:11:15,738 --> 00:11:17,371
Let's kick things up a notch.
265
00:11:17,373 --> 00:11:20,090
Image number three: crocodile
with a mouthful of monkeys.
266
00:11:20,092 --> 00:11:22,292
(screeching)
267
00:11:24,078 --> 00:11:27,131
Okay, now we're talking.
268
00:11:27,133 --> 00:11:29,066
Dr. Fowler?
269
00:11:29,068 --> 00:11:31,135
What do you want, Sheldon?
270
00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:33,220
Well, I'm done
with work, so...
271
00:11:33,222 --> 00:11:34,421
(gasps)
272
00:11:34,423 --> 00:11:36,357
Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
273
00:11:36,359 --> 00:11:39,092
Sorry. Uh...
274
00:11:39,094 --> 00:11:40,527
Better?
275
00:11:40,529 --> 00:11:41,695
Oh, baguettes.
276
00:11:41,697 --> 00:11:43,897
Yes, I like baguettes.
277
00:11:43,899 --> 00:11:46,099
What exactly
are you doing?
278
00:11:46,101 --> 00:11:48,535
Determining baseline fear levels
in capuchin monkeys
279
00:11:48,537 --> 00:11:50,871
by measuring their response
to visual stimuli.
280
00:11:50,873 --> 00:11:52,339
So, goofing off.
281
00:11:54,909 --> 00:11:57,578
As I was saying, I'm done
with work and Leonard's not.
282
00:11:57,580 --> 00:12:00,214
So good news,
you get to take me home.
283
00:12:00,216 --> 00:12:01,248
Play your cards right,
284
00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:02,750
I'll let you drive me
285
00:12:02,752 --> 00:12:05,836
past the lot
where the buses park at night.
286
00:12:05,838 --> 00:12:07,638
I can't leave now, Sheldon.
287
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:08,756
I'm very busy.
288
00:12:08,758 --> 00:12:10,557
Besides, why would I want
to do you a favor
289
00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:12,576
after the way you treated
me in the cafeteria?
290
00:12:12,578 --> 00:12:15,128
Image number four:
boa constrictor.
291
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:17,431
(shudders)
292
00:12:18,967 --> 00:12:21,935
What on earth
are you talking about?
293
00:12:21,937 --> 00:12:23,487
My behavior
in the cafeteria
294
00:12:23,489 --> 00:12:25,305
was delightful.
295
00:12:25,307 --> 00:12:27,491
Maybe your friend
Gunderson needs
296
00:12:27,493 --> 00:12:29,443
to head over
to IKEA and assemble
297
00:12:29,445 --> 00:12:32,379
a sense of humor.
298
00:12:32,381 --> 00:12:34,364
You embarrassed me
in front of my colleagues
299
00:12:34,366 --> 00:12:35,982
on my first day here.
300
00:12:36,684 --> 00:12:37,785
Image number five:
301
00:12:37,787 --> 00:12:39,186
kitten in a teacup.
302
00:12:39,188 --> 00:12:41,388
Oh.
303
00:12:44,959 --> 00:12:47,528
Oh... embarrassed you?
You know what?
304
00:12:47,530 --> 00:12:50,431
I don't have time for this.
Find another way home.
305
00:12:50,433 --> 00:12:53,450
I'm starting to get the sense
that you're angry with me.
306
00:12:53,452 --> 00:12:55,001
Really?
What tipped you off?
307
00:12:55,003 --> 00:12:56,053
Couple things, actually.
308
00:12:56,055 --> 00:12:57,170
Your tone of voice,
your body language...
309
00:12:57,172 --> 00:12:58,806
Get out.
Well, now, that.
310
00:13:00,675 --> 00:13:03,310
Image number six:
woman giving birth.
311
00:13:03,312 --> 00:13:05,612
(gags)
312
00:13:12,570 --> 00:13:14,187
It's 9:00.
Where you been?
313
00:13:14,189 --> 00:13:17,307
Oh, I had to take
the bus home.
314
00:13:17,309 --> 00:13:20,844
Fell asleep and missed my stop.
315
00:13:20,846 --> 00:13:22,646
Oh, no.
316
00:13:22,648 --> 00:13:26,633
Did you know that Los Angeles
has a Little Sri Lanka?
317
00:13:26,635 --> 00:13:28,986
I did not.
318
00:13:28,988 --> 00:13:31,004
Well, I do... now.
319
00:13:31,006 --> 00:13:33,707
They're a lovely people.
320
00:13:33,709 --> 00:13:37,377
Although terrifying when you
wake up face-to-face with them.
321
00:13:38,379 --> 00:13:39,646
If you're hungry, I brought home
322
00:13:39,648 --> 00:13:41,632
some mutton and coconut milk.
323
00:13:41,634 --> 00:13:43,617
Why'd you get that?
You hate lamb.
324
00:13:43,619 --> 00:13:45,686
I was asking for directions.
325
00:13:45,688 --> 00:13:49,206
Apparently, there was
a communication problem.
326
00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:52,326
I thought Amy was gonna
drive you home.
327
00:13:52,328 --> 00:13:53,610
Yeah, I thought so, too,
328
00:13:53,612 --> 00:13:55,779
but she's acting very strangely.
329
00:13:55,781 --> 00:13:58,782
I was discussing it with
a Sri Lankan fellow on the bus,
330
00:13:58,784 --> 00:14:01,869
and he hypothesized
that a tiger may have
331
00:14:01,871 --> 00:14:04,054
recently run across her shadow.
332
00:14:05,907 --> 00:14:08,342
Although he may have just been
trying to drum up business
333
00:14:08,344 --> 00:14:11,345
for his brother-in-law's
witch doctor practice.
334
00:14:14,265 --> 00:14:16,834
Okay, Sheldon, what happened
between you and Amy?
335
00:14:16,836 --> 00:14:20,571
Well, can you believe
she said I embarrassed her?
336
00:14:20,573 --> 00:14:22,656
Yeah.
337
00:14:22,658 --> 00:14:25,442
But you didn't
even hear the details.
338
00:14:25,444 --> 00:14:27,477
Sheldon...
339
00:14:29,247 --> 00:14:31,865
I've known you
a long time,
340
00:14:31,867 --> 00:14:33,283
and I'm going
to tell you this
341
00:14:33,285 --> 00:14:37,154
with all the love
I can possibly muster.
342
00:14:37,156 --> 00:14:38,155
Amy's right.
343
00:14:38,157 --> 00:14:39,606
You're wrong.
344
00:14:40,458 --> 00:14:41,658
But you don't even know...
345
00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:43,076
Doesn't matter.
346
00:14:43,078 --> 00:14:45,696
But, now, but in my defense...
Doesn't matter.
347
00:14:45,698 --> 00:14:47,931
You're not listening
to my side of it.
348
00:14:47,933 --> 00:14:50,267
Okay, fine, Sheldon.
What is your side?
349
00:14:50,269 --> 00:14:52,285
Well...
350
00:14:52,287 --> 00:14:54,788
Nope, got to go with
Amy on this one.
351
00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:00,627
(groans)
352
00:15:00,629 --> 00:15:01,678
Shrimp was spicy.
353
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,113
You want a TUMS?
354
00:15:03,115 --> 00:15:04,431
You got
the tropical fruit kind?
355
00:15:04,433 --> 00:15:06,950
No, if I buy those, I just
go through them like candy.
356
00:15:06,952 --> 00:15:08,385
Tell me about it.
357
00:15:08,387 --> 00:15:11,104
One time, I swear
I pooped out a stick of chalk.
358
00:15:11,940 --> 00:15:13,139
(knocking)
359
00:15:13,141 --> 00:15:15,359
I'll get it.
Thanks.
360
00:15:17,278 --> 00:15:18,362
Hi.
361
00:15:18,364 --> 00:15:19,529
Oh, hi.
362
00:15:19,531 --> 00:15:21,698
I may have overreacted.
363
00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:25,619
Yeah, well, I didn't
handle it so great, either.
364
00:15:25,621 --> 00:15:28,038
It's just sometimes I feel
like you enjoy spending time
365
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,090
with your friends
more than with me.
366
00:15:30,092 --> 00:15:31,909
That's not true.
It's not?
367
00:15:31,911 --> 00:15:33,594
You spend all day
together at work,
368
00:15:33,596 --> 00:15:35,712
and then you all hang out
at night playing games,
369
00:15:35,714 --> 00:15:37,230
going to the comic book store.
370
00:15:37,232 --> 00:15:39,850
Last week, you two got
a couples massage.
371
00:15:42,487 --> 00:15:45,055
So, when you said you wouldn't
want to spend that much time
372
00:15:45,057 --> 00:15:48,025
with me, it really
hurt my feelings.
373
00:15:48,027 --> 00:15:49,643
Oh, wow.
374
00:15:49,645 --> 00:15:50,978
Yeah, no, I get that.
375
00:15:50,980 --> 00:15:52,112
I'm so sorry.
376
00:15:52,114 --> 00:15:54,865
Starting tomorrow, I am
turning over a new leaf.
377
00:15:54,867 --> 00:15:57,985
Time with you is my
number one priority.
378
00:15:57,987 --> 00:15:59,987
(chuckles)
379
00:15:59,989 --> 00:16:01,688
Why tomorrow?
380
00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:05,509
Well, we're real close
to finishing off
381
00:16:05,511 --> 00:16:07,377
the new Batman game.
382
00:16:08,513 --> 00:16:11,665
It is awesome.
383
00:16:13,968 --> 00:16:16,003
Uh, you should probably
go after her.
384
00:16:16,005 --> 00:16:17,754
Should I go after you?
385
00:16:17,756 --> 00:16:19,923
No!
386
00:16:21,592 --> 00:16:24,094
Thanks for getting me
in trouble.
387
00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:28,265
Amy.
388
00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:30,283
Amy.
389
00:16:31,069 --> 00:16:33,103
Amy.
390
00:16:34,722 --> 00:16:37,324
Sheldon, what are you
doing here so late?
391
00:16:37,326 --> 00:16:39,192
I couldn't sleep
because I kept thinking
392
00:16:39,194 --> 00:16:41,445
about what happened
earlier between us.
393
00:16:42,246 --> 00:16:45,615
Also, I had one heck
of a bus nap.
394
00:16:46,751 --> 00:16:47,901
Oh, speaking of which,
395
00:16:47,903 --> 00:16:50,787
do you want some mutton
and coconut milk?
396
00:16:50,789 --> 00:16:51,855
No.
397
00:16:51,857 --> 00:16:54,624
Well, I cannot give
this stuff away.
398
00:16:54,626 --> 00:16:57,077
What do you want?
399
00:16:57,079 --> 00:17:00,647
Amy, this isn't easy to say.
400
00:17:01,766 --> 00:17:04,751
All relationships are difficult,
401
00:17:04,753 --> 00:17:07,688
but even more so
when you're in one
402
00:17:07,690 --> 00:17:09,523
with a person who struggles
403
00:17:09,525 --> 00:17:11,858
with everyday
social interactions.
404
00:17:11,860 --> 00:17:13,527
And frankly...
405
00:17:13,529 --> 00:17:15,145
who can strike some people
406
00:17:15,147 --> 00:17:17,664
as being kind of a weirdo.
407
00:17:17,666 --> 00:17:19,649
Sheldon...
408
00:17:19,651 --> 00:17:21,651
you're not a weirdo.
409
00:17:21,653 --> 00:17:24,271
I wasn't speaking about me.
410
00:17:26,307 --> 00:17:28,441
I mean, honestly,
there's no telling
411
00:17:28,443 --> 00:17:30,077
what will set you off.
412
00:17:30,079 --> 00:17:32,295
You know, introducing
myself as your boyfriend.
413
00:17:32,297 --> 00:17:35,549
Giving you the opportunity
to drive me home.
414
00:17:35,551 --> 00:17:37,617
Breaking the ice
with your colleagues
415
00:17:37,619 --> 00:17:40,787
using ethnic humor,
the funniest kind of humor.
416
00:17:42,557 --> 00:17:44,224
What's your point?
417
00:17:44,226 --> 00:17:46,626
My point is, we're a couple.
418
00:17:46,628 --> 00:17:48,361
And...
419
00:17:48,363 --> 00:17:50,480
I like you for who you are.
420
00:17:50,482 --> 00:17:52,365
Quirks and all.
421
00:17:54,102 --> 00:17:55,652
I like you, too.
422
00:17:55,654 --> 00:17:58,188
Well, I should hope so.
423
00:17:58,190 --> 00:18:00,323
I don't see anyone else
banging on this door
424
00:18:00,325 --> 00:18:02,826
to put up with your nonsense.
425
00:18:06,981 --> 00:18:09,583
Not even a good-bye?
426
00:18:09,585 --> 00:18:11,084
You see,
that's the kind of thing
427
00:18:11,086 --> 00:18:13,620
that makes people
think you're weird.
428
00:18:13,622 --> 00:18:15,422
Poor kid.
429
00:18:15,424 --> 00:18:17,507
She just doesn't see it.
430
00:18:27,608 --> 00:18:28,691
I'm not apologizing
to Howard.
431
00:18:28,693 --> 00:18:30,342
He can come beg me
on his knees.
432
00:18:30,344 --> 00:18:31,694
Sheldon, too.
433
00:18:31,696 --> 00:18:34,196
If I see him at work,
I'm just going to ignore him.
434
00:18:34,198 --> 00:18:36,032
All right, don't worry.
I talked to Leonard.
435
00:18:36,034 --> 00:18:38,801
He is gonna sit the guys down
and set them straight.
436
00:18:38,803 --> 00:18:40,820
Laser's warmed up.
437
00:18:40,896 --> 00:18:41,928
Pull!
438
00:18:43,006 --> 00:18:44,272
(all cheering)
439
00:18:44,274 --> 00:18:49,274
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man