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♪ Goin' down to South Park ♪
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♪ gonna have myself a time. ♪
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♪ death and sadness everywhere, ♪
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♪ loneliness and degradation. ♪
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♪ Goin' down to South Park
gonna take my woes with me. ♪
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♪ nightmares every night, posers
spouting "Let's go shopping." ♪
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♪ headin' down to South Park ♪
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♪ cause I can not unwind. ♪
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♪ I like spiders, loss and rain! ♪
♪ I'm only happy when I'm in pain! ♪
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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
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♪ to die! ♪
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So I cast my body into the trials of blood.
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The knife pierces deep, deep into my lonely eyes,
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so I can see this black world no more.
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Whoa, that's pretty hardcore.
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That's real pain right there.
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That's how I feel when my mother abuses me.
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I just want to escape so
she can't hurt me anymore.
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Henrietta, sweetie!
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Shut up, mom, go away.
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Oh, but remember daddy wanted to talk to you
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in the living room, my dark little princess.
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Stop calling me a princess.
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I'm not a beauty queen in a Disney movie.
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We'll be waiting in the living room.
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God, she just never stops.
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Oh, goodness, I am so nervous.
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- What?
- Have a seat, Henrietta.
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- Ooh, a little family chitchat.
- Shut up, mom.
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Henrietta, as you know, your mother and I
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have been concerned about
your behavior for some time.
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Are we really doing this again?
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We've had a hard time coping
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with the dark things you're into,
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but we've finally had some counseling.
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Apparently we're not the only parents
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who have a child that is "emo."
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- What?
- But daddy and I love our little muffin,
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even if she's emo or not.
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I'm not a fucking emo.
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Don't you even know the fucking diff?
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Do you know how your foul language
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breaks your mother's heart?
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Like calling mommy "demon jizz."
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So, listen, sweetie, we've found a camp.
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No.
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A camp which is for troubled kids like you,
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and you get to work outside
and learn about responsibility.
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I'm not going to any fucking camp.
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It's for two weeks and when you come back
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we can talk about earning
back some of your privileges.
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I won't come back because I'll be fucking dead
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I'll walk out of that camp,
and I'll walk the streets
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until I probably get picked
up and gang-banged by criminals
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until I'm bleeding out my fucking eyes.
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They have a horseshoe pit
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where you can challenge the
other kids to horseshoes.
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And that's all you know?
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What else did she say?
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She said that her parents called her an emo
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and she had to go to this camp for two weeks.
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Oh, my God, for two weeks?
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- Is she at the camp now?
- I don't know.
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She texted from the bus they put her on
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then she said she wasn't even allowed
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to have her cell phone where she was going.
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Then all of a sudden, her texts went dark.
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- Whoa.
- That's fucking creepy, man.
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I just can't believe it.
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I can't believe parents
would do that to their child.
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All right, now, you say that
you witnessed your friend
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being abused by her parents.
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Yes.
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They called her an emo.
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- What's wrong with that?
- Emos suck.
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They're vile, self-pitying, depressed assholes.
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So why do you think they called her that?
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Because she's goth,
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and some ignorant people
don't know the difference.
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What is the difference?
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Oh, my God, they're totally different.
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Okay, different how?
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They're... you know, one is good,
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and... and emos are horrible.
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They're... you know, they're posers.
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Emos suck my goth balls.
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All right, all right, think of it this way.
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A goth believes that, deep down,
the world is totally fucked up.
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But an emo thinks that, deep down,
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they are totally fucked up.
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That's not much of a difference.
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- That's a huge fucking difference.
- Okay, okay, look,
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emos are more prone to suicide.
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This fucking bitch, man.
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But goths are more prone to be depressed
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that so many people commit suicide.
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Goth's darkness is nihilistic,
whereas emo's is cynical.
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Wait, I thought we were cynical.
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- Wh... whatever, it doesn't matter.
- No, see, you're nihilistic.
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Oh, yeah, you're right.
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Hello? Somebody let me out of here.
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You can't treat people like this.
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This is fucking ridiculous! What's wrong with you?
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I'm gonna go to the fucking
cops when I get out of here.
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[Mechanical whirring]
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What if she comes back
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and she's all preppy and conformist?
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She's only been there two weeks.
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They can't have changed her that much.
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- Can they have?
- [Bus approaching]
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Oh, my God.
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Hey, guys.
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What the hell have they done to you?
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What do you mean? They couldn't do anything.
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They can't fix me.
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They don't even understand me.
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Oh, my God, it's worse than we thought.
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They made her emo!
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[School bell ringing]
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[Whistle blowing]
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Has she said one word to either one of you guys?
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Nothing.
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It's like she's a totally different person.
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She won't even look at us.
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All she does now is hang out with the
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douchebag emo kids.
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God, P.E. class is for such wannabe posers.
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I'd rather kill myself than put on gym shorts.
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I wish there'd just be an earthquake
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so we could all die.
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Ugh, how can she hang out with them?
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There must be something else going on here.
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[Alternative rock music playing]
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[Knock at door]
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Not now, mom! I'm suicidal.
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It's not your mom, it's me.
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Oh, hey. [Music volume lowers]
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What did they do to you at that camp?
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What do you mean?
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Just the usual group therapy crap.
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Don't take this the wrong way,
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but I think that place turned you into an emo.
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That's ridiculous. I'm not anything.
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I don't fit in anywhere. I'm not emo, okay?
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Then why are you listening
to Sunny Day Real Estate?
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[Music stops]
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I was thinking,
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maybe they just made you confused at that place.
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Maybe they didn't know what they were doing.
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But then I started thinking...
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maybe that place turned you emo on purpose.
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Like, maybe they knew what they were doing.
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You should probably stop digging for answers.
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What?
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There's no winning this for you.
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Soon, the entire world will be emo.
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It is our time.
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No way.
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Nobody understands us.
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And they won't understand
until it is far too late.
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Oh, my God, no way!
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Do not fight it, Michael.
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Is being emo really all that
different from being goth?
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[Deep, modulated voice] Join us.
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No way!
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No way, no way!
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- [Phone ringing]
- Death and despair!
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Death and despair!
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Death and despair!
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Death and desp... [phone beeps]
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Hello?
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It's worse than we thought.
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What is, everything?
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No, I mean Henrietta. I confronted her,
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and she was all like, "I am emo,
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and emos are going to rule the world."
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And I was like, no way!
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And she was like, "yeah,
soon it will be too late."
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And I was all, no way! No way.
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Yeah, so listen, call up Firkle,
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and meet me at Village Inn.
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I've got to run home, but
I'll be there in ten minutes.
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Michael? Michael!
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Can't now, mom, I've got an emergency.
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In the dining room, Michael. Let's go.
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Have a seat, son.
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Your mom and I have decided
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you're going to go away for a little while.
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What?
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We've been put in touch with this camp
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for troubled kids like you and...
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What the hell are you talking about?
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This place gonna fix you, make you normal child!
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No, you gotta listen to me!
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You don't know what you're doing!
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You fucking conformists!
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[Gasps]
198
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They're evil!
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I never thought it would end like this.
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I never thought that goths would just be
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slowly replaced by emos.
202
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Pete... if they get me,
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if I get sent to that camp and I come back emo,
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kill me.
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Promise that you'll kill me.
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I promise.
207
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Hey, you kids need to order
something or you need to go.
208
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Not now, lady, we're really depressed.
209
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- So what else is new?
- This is different, okay!
210
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Our two friends are being body-snatched by emos!
211
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There's only one other group
who understands emos like we do.
212
00:09:01,297 --> 00:09:03,252
We're gonna have to team up with the vampires.
213
00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:06,012
- Are you crazy?
- What choice do we have?
214
00:09:06,043 --> 00:09:08,132
The vampires are our sworn enemies.
215
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We beat up their leader
and burned down their lair.
216
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- Don't you remember?
- Yeah, I remember.
217
00:09:14,395 --> 00:09:16,288
But it may be a suicide mission,
218
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but we have to walk right
into the middle of the vampires
219
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and ask them for help.
220
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Okay, let's all be seated, please.
221
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This is the noon meeting of the vamp kids.
222
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I am Mike, your lord and dark master, per se.
223
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All: Hail Mike.
224
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Okay, our main order of business is, of course,
225
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the Halloween social.
226
00:09:39,499 --> 00:09:41,727
We're still looking for volunteers to make the...
227
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[audience snarling]
228
00:09:43,135 --> 00:09:44,707
It's the goth kids!
229
00:09:46,499 --> 00:09:50,498
[All snarling and hissing]
230
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- [Growls]
- Ugh, you spit on me, Larry.
231
00:09:56,499 --> 00:09:57,721
Uh, hey, everybody.
232
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Uh, I know we aren't on the
greatest terms right now.
233
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We realize we called you all queermos
234
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and we're sorry we burned
down the hot topic at the mall.
235
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Sorry.
236
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But, uh, we've got a bigger problem here,
237
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and it's all of our problem.
238
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You've got a lot of nerve coming here.
239
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Yeah, shut up, Mike. Listen, okay?
240
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There's a camp that kids
like us are being sent to,
241
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and somehow this place is taking kids like us
242
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and turning them emo.
243
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- [Rapid, indistinct chatter]
- Yeah.
244
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You might not even be able to tell at first.
245
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It could've already happened.
246
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One of you might already be turned.
247
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[Indistinct chatter]
248
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Okay, hold up. Hold up!
249
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You mean that one of us might
not really be a vamp kid?
250
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Uh, right.
251
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Well, whoever you is,
252
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you better get your ass
ready to run, motherfucker,
253
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'cause you a damn traitor.
254
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And I'll bet you it's this
little nigga right here.
255
00:10:50,799 --> 00:10:53,679
Are you guys gonna go to the fall out boy concert?
256
00:10:53,799 --> 00:10:56,798
I can't, I'm too depressed. I keep cutting myself.
257
00:10:56,799 --> 00:10:58,319
Yeah, I'm cutting myself
258
00:10:58,344 --> 00:11:00,327
to hurt this worthless body that I'm in.
259
00:11:00,402 --> 00:11:01,247
[Knock at door]
260
00:11:01,315 --> 00:11:02,943
Henrietta,
261
00:11:02,986 --> 00:11:06,058
I baked cookies for your new little emo friends.
262
00:11:06,178 --> 00:11:08,798
Not now, mom! Can't you see I'm hurting?
263
00:11:08,799 --> 00:11:10,798
I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment!
264
00:11:10,799 --> 00:11:13,799
Sorry I'm not the pretty
cheerleader you always wanted!
265
00:11:16,388 --> 00:11:18,241
Does she still seem better?
266
00:11:18,284 --> 00:11:19,473
Oh, much better.
267
00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:20,756
She didn't call me a bitch,
268
00:11:20,787 --> 00:11:23,422
and she actually apologized to me!
269
00:11:23,799 --> 00:11:25,305
That's more like it.
270
00:11:25,799 --> 00:11:26,926
You know what we should do
271
00:11:26,976 --> 00:11:28,798
after us emos take over the earth?
272
00:11:28,799 --> 00:11:30,993
We should, um, paint the white house black,
273
00:11:31,113 --> 00:11:33,307
and we should have fall out
boy play at the super bowl.
274
00:11:34,077 --> 00:11:35,096
We're emos.
275
00:11:35,097 --> 00:11:37,274
When we rule the earth,
we're not gonna have football.
276
00:11:37,394 --> 00:11:38,799
Oh, yeah.
277
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:42,517
And you say she just showed up like this?
278
00:11:42,561 --> 00:11:43,481
You know Henrietta.
279
00:11:43,493 --> 00:11:45,189
That thing in there is not Henrietta.
280
00:11:45,309 --> 00:11:47,466
That blonde emo in there is Sarah Collins.
281
00:11:47,510 --> 00:11:49,399
She was a vamp kid two weeks ago!
282
00:11:49,799 --> 00:11:51,798
You want me to go in there
and waste these motherfuckers?
283
00:11:51,799 --> 00:11:53,009
I'll do it.
284
00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:54,798
We can't just go in there and kick their asses.
285
00:11:54,799 --> 00:11:56,798
We have to stop this thing at its source.
286
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:57,798
Indeed.
287
00:11:58,101 --> 00:12:00,498
If there is some kind of black magic at work,
288
00:12:00,535 --> 00:12:02,679
creating these monsters, then we will have to
289
00:12:02,731 --> 00:12:05,240
use our most powerful
vampiric abilities to stop it.
290
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,798
- Do you mean...
- Yes, my child of darkness.
291
00:12:07,799 --> 00:12:09,414
We must call upon the powers
292
00:12:09,427 --> 00:12:11,754
of the vamp kids' most sacred entity, per se.
293
00:12:12,011 --> 00:12:15,064
Only he can help us in this darkest time.
294
00:12:15,521 --> 00:12:17,792
This calls for a summoning.
295
00:12:18,799 --> 00:12:20,799
[Thunder crashing]
296
00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:27,209
We call upon the creator of all that is dark,
297
00:12:27,265 --> 00:12:29,474
the godfather of death and despair,
298
00:12:29,918 --> 00:12:31,288
Edgar Allan Poe,
299
00:12:31,313 --> 00:12:33,798
your followers in darkness beg for your help.
300
00:12:33,799 --> 00:12:35,512
[Lightning crashes]
301
00:12:35,799 --> 00:12:37,552
We summon to the world of the living
302
00:12:37,577 --> 00:12:39,103
the great Edgar Allan Poe,
303
00:12:39,154 --> 00:12:41,018
knower of all this is misery.
304
00:12:41,043 --> 00:12:44,065
Your children need special guidance, per se.
305
00:12:45,135 --> 00:12:46,530
This is your plan?
306
00:12:46,586 --> 00:12:48,798
Try to summon Edgar Allan Poe back from the dead?
307
00:12:48,799 --> 00:12:50,935
Edgar Allan Poe was the original vamp kid.
308
00:12:50,991 --> 00:12:52,798
No, he was the original goth,
309
00:12:52,799 --> 00:12:54,798
but he's been dead for 150 years.
310
00:12:54,799 --> 00:12:55,808
Hey, look, man,
311
00:12:55,877 --> 00:12:59,368
all genres of gothic subcultures
are derivative of Poe's work...
312
00:12:59,599 --> 00:13:00,798
Motherfucker.
313
00:13:00,799 --> 00:13:02,533
Look, we came to you for help,
314
00:13:02,590 --> 00:13:04,679
and all you've done since then is waste our time.
315
00:13:04,735 --> 00:13:05,798
[Lightning crashes]
316
00:13:05,799 --> 00:13:06,798
[Ambient humming]
317
00:13:06,982 --> 00:13:08,799
Holy shit, look!
318
00:13:10,379 --> 00:13:13,082
Where am I? What is this place?
319
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:16,248
It's him! It's Edgar Allan Poe.
320
00:13:16,642 --> 00:13:19,395
Why have the living summoned me from my rest?
321
00:13:20,001 --> 00:13:21,428
Uh, okay, okay, listen,
322
00:13:21,484 --> 00:13:23,311
there's this camp for troubled kids, right?
323
00:13:23,343 --> 00:13:24,606
Only they aren't helping kids,
324
00:13:24,625 --> 00:13:26,795
they're purposely turning them into emos.
325
00:13:26,977 --> 00:13:28,322
Emos?
326
00:13:28,566 --> 00:13:31,644
Ew, my God, emos are such wannabe conformists.
327
00:13:32,483 --> 00:13:34,228
- Yeah, oh, yes.
- Right?
328
00:13:34,348 --> 00:13:35,956
Children of darkness,
329
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,758
I would help you, but I fear I cannot be seen
330
00:13:38,799 --> 00:13:40,454
with a bunch of douchey vamp kids
331
00:13:40,466 --> 00:13:42,581
and their poser-ass plastic fangs.
332
00:13:42,969 --> 00:13:44,679
- Thank you!
- Hey!
333
00:13:44,799 --> 00:13:46,153
I'm just saying it's nice to know
334
00:13:46,172 --> 00:13:47,617
that Edgar Allan Poe agrees with us.
335
00:13:47,798 --> 00:13:49,181
Agrees with who?
336
00:13:49,301 --> 00:13:50,777
Is that red dye in your hair
337
00:13:50,799 --> 00:13:53,599
or did a blood demon take
a shit on your head, poser?
338
00:13:53,655 --> 00:13:55,169
Uhoh, he got you there, nigga.
339
00:13:55,289 --> 00:13:56,871
Okay, look, we're running out of time.
340
00:13:56,883 --> 00:13:58,554
You have to help us stop the emos.
341
00:13:58,799 --> 00:13:59,893
Why should I?
342
00:13:59,955 --> 00:14:00,881
Just 'cause you summoned me
343
00:14:00,894 --> 00:14:02,679
doesn't mean you're the boss of me.
344
00:14:02,799 --> 00:14:04,435
Uh, yeah, it kind of does.
345
00:14:04,555 --> 00:14:05,798
Oh, okay, mom.
346
00:14:05,799 --> 00:14:08,799
Let's go fight the emos, mom.
347
00:14:13,232 --> 00:14:15,265
What... where you ta...
348
00:14:15,385 --> 00:14:17,412
No! No!
349
00:14:18,338 --> 00:14:19,798
What the hell?
350
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,798
Oh, my God.
351
00:14:21,799 --> 00:14:23,798
[Eerie music]
352
00:14:24,043 --> 00:14:25,463
Get me out of here!
353
00:14:25,583 --> 00:14:27,822
- Let me go!
- Shh.
354
00:14:28,799 --> 00:14:30,612
It's best you don't upset them.
355
00:14:31,557 --> 00:14:33,798
What the hell are you doing to people?
356
00:14:33,828 --> 00:14:36,124
Not me. I just work for them.
357
00:14:36,244 --> 00:14:37,482
They're not evil, you know.
358
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,190
They're just misunderstood.
359
00:14:39,310 --> 00:14:42,362
All I do is help the emos
get into their human host.
360
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,301
They promised me, when they take over earth,
361
00:14:44,302 --> 00:14:46,492
I can have a cabin on the lake
and all the steak I can eat.
362
00:14:46,892 --> 00:14:49,401
Wait a minute. Emos are plants?
363
00:14:49,799 --> 00:14:50,798
[Plants rustling]
364
00:14:50,799 --> 00:14:52,397
Shh, shh, it's okay.
365
00:14:52,429 --> 00:14:54,679
Not just any plant. They're very unique.
366
00:14:54,799 --> 00:14:56,139
Very special!
367
00:14:56,259 --> 00:14:58,298
- Nobody understands them.
- [Rustling subsides]
368
00:14:59,111 --> 00:15:01,007
Emo-claris americanus.
369
00:15:01,032 --> 00:15:02,221
Wonderful species,
370
00:15:02,341 --> 00:15:04,466
except for their tendencies of self-mutilation
371
00:15:04,497 --> 00:15:06,798
and the need for other species
to acknowledge their pain.
372
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,679
- Oh, it all makes sense now.
- Aah!
373
00:15:09,799 --> 00:15:12,062
- [Plant rustles]
- I'm sorry! Sorry, emo king!
374
00:15:12,182 --> 00:15:13,751
Oh, no, I wasn't talking to him.
375
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,123
I mean, I was, but... Yes.
376
00:15:16,243 --> 00:15:17,468
Yes, I understand.
377
00:15:17,799 --> 00:15:19,257
Right away.
378
00:15:20,497 --> 00:15:22,248
No! What are you doing?
379
00:15:22,249 --> 00:15:23,798
I don't want to be emo!
380
00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:25,152
You just don't understand.
381
00:15:25,164 --> 00:15:26,503
You'll understand them soon.
382
00:15:27,116 --> 00:15:28,798
- [Rustling]
- What the...
383
00:15:28,799 --> 00:15:30,798
It's quicker if you don't fight it.
384
00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:33,311
No! Nooo!
385
00:15:40,155 --> 00:15:41,169
All right, listen up.
386
00:15:41,257 --> 00:15:42,233
Once we find our friend,
387
00:15:42,264 --> 00:15:43,959
we gotta torch the place and get out.
388
00:15:44,003 --> 00:15:45,186
[Coughing]
389
00:15:45,224 --> 00:15:47,732
Dude, Edgar, can you not smoke in the car?
390
00:15:47,799 --> 00:15:49,341
You can't tell me what to do.
391
00:15:49,385 --> 00:15:51,437
Who elected you the mayor of me?
392
00:15:51,557 --> 00:15:53,679
Put it out, Edgar. It's annoying everybody.
393
00:15:53,799 --> 00:15:55,316
God, you guys are so lame.
394
00:15:55,353 --> 00:15:56,385
And if you want my help,
395
00:15:56,404 --> 00:15:58,212
you better all stop calling me Edgar.
396
00:15:58,400 --> 00:15:59,588
Well, that's your name, isn't it?
397
00:15:59,639 --> 00:16:01,679
That's the name my stupid parents gave me.
398
00:16:01,799 --> 00:16:03,743
I like to be called by my goth name,
399
00:16:03,799 --> 00:16:05,326
Nightpain.
400
00:16:05,363 --> 00:16:06,579
All: [Annoyed] Oh, my God.
401
00:16:06,677 --> 00:16:08,510
What? You guys are posers!
402
00:16:08,892 --> 00:16:10,611
Hey, just so you all know,
403
00:16:10,731 --> 00:16:12,679
if one of you ain't who they say they is,
404
00:16:12,696 --> 00:16:14,730
and we get inside that base and you reveal
405
00:16:14,761 --> 00:16:16,895
you actually one of them emo
motherfuckers in disguise,
406
00:16:17,015 --> 00:16:19,022
I will go crazy on your ass.
407
00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:20,798
If one of us is a traitor,
408
00:16:20,799 --> 00:16:22,756
it's probably your wannabe vampire leader.
409
00:16:22,876 --> 00:16:24,746
Oh, fuck off, Nightpain.
410
00:16:24,799 --> 00:16:26,172
Make me, poser.
411
00:16:30,672 --> 00:16:31,754
[Bird cawing]
412
00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:34,999
[Mechanical whirring]
413
00:16:38,055 --> 00:16:40,113
[Plant rustles]
414
00:16:44,111 --> 00:16:46,007
Michael? You here?
415
00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:47,934
I feel like we're being watched.
416
00:16:48,178 --> 00:16:50,355
[Mechanical whirring]
417
00:16:59,689 --> 00:17:01,260
[Moaning incoherently]
418
00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:03,168
Dude, Michael, are you okay?
419
00:17:03,212 --> 00:17:04,999
Kick it over. Stop the plant!
420
00:17:06,715 --> 00:17:09,181
Oh! Oh, thank God you're here.
421
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:10,506
Emos are plants,
422
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:11,915
and they're invading human bodies.
423
00:17:11,946 --> 00:17:13,373
All right, we're gonna get you out of here,
424
00:17:13,404 --> 00:17:15,067
and then we're gonna burn this whole place down.
425
00:17:15,187 --> 00:17:16,351
[Gun safety clicking]
426
00:17:16,471 --> 00:17:17,552
I'm sorry,
427
00:17:17,602 --> 00:17:19,773
but I'm afraid that's not the plan.
428
00:17:20,042 --> 00:17:21,788
You did very good.
429
00:17:22,701 --> 00:17:25,467
The emo plants are pleased with your dedication.
430
00:17:25,886 --> 00:17:27,988
Firkle, all this time we thought you were goth.
431
00:17:28,038 --> 00:17:29,840
How long have you been emo?
432
00:17:34,657 --> 00:17:36,716
Don't you see we can't stop them?
433
00:17:36,836 --> 00:17:38,743
We might as well join 'em.
434
00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:40,432
[Plant rustles]
435
00:17:40,489 --> 00:17:42,754
Yes, emo king, right away.
436
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,382
The emo king wants us to proceed at once.
437
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,704
Ugh, let us go, you ultimate conformists!
438
00:17:48,824 --> 00:17:51,287
Don't fight it. It's quicker that way.
439
00:17:51,407 --> 00:17:54,017
Oh, God, I'm starting to feel emo.
440
00:17:54,317 --> 00:17:56,676
Wait a minute, where the hell is Edgar Allan Poe?
441
00:17:56,796 --> 00:17:58,315
He said he was over this
442
00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:00,279
and was gonna hang out at the Village Inn.
443
00:18:00,536 --> 00:18:01,562
What?
444
00:18:03,589 --> 00:18:05,353
[Muzak playing]
445
00:18:05,473 --> 00:18:06,836
Hey, are you gonna order any food
446
00:18:06,842 --> 00:18:09,182
or are you just gonna sit
there and drink coffee all day?
447
00:18:09,245 --> 00:18:11,860
Leave me alone. I just want coffee.
448
00:18:12,047 --> 00:18:15,045
- Little prick.
- Bitch.
449
00:18:15,165 --> 00:18:15,996
Poe?
450
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,173
Edgar Allan Poe, where are you?
451
00:18:19,149 --> 00:18:20,075
What the hell are you doing?
452
00:18:20,088 --> 00:18:21,114
You're supposed to be helping us.
453
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,697
I can't right now.
454
00:18:22,728 --> 00:18:25,350
I'm dealing with a lot, and
I just have a lot of anxiety.
455
00:18:25,418 --> 00:18:27,802
Look, we summoned you to help us save the world.
456
00:18:27,864 --> 00:18:28,998
What's the point?
457
00:18:28,999 --> 00:18:31,337
Save some people so some other people can be lame?
458
00:18:31,399 --> 00:18:34,414
And then those lame-os can
be lame to some other posers?
459
00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:36,717
God, he is such a downer.
460
00:18:36,837 --> 00:18:38,043
- [Plants rustling]
- Ahh!
461
00:18:38,163 --> 00:18:40,026
Just let the spores inside you.
462
00:18:40,039 --> 00:18:41,634
Stop fighting it.
463
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,605
- [Rustling continues]
- Wait, look!
464
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,702
Okay, I'm here, posers.
465
00:18:46,822 --> 00:18:48,954
Nightpain! Destroy the plant leader!
466
00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:50,231
The leader, over there!
467
00:18:51,601 --> 00:18:53,314
What do you want me to do?
468
00:18:53,371 --> 00:18:54,641
All: Shoot it!
469
00:18:55,223 --> 00:18:57,243
Really? Shoot a plant?
470
00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:58,570
Shoot it!
471
00:18:58,690 --> 00:18:59,452
[Safety clicks]
472
00:18:59,521 --> 00:19:01,229
[Gunshot]
473
00:19:03,369 --> 00:19:04,669
Wait a minute.
474
00:19:05,014 --> 00:19:06,265
What is this?
475
00:19:06,277 --> 00:19:07,265
This says it was bought
476
00:19:07,284 --> 00:19:10,174
at Lowes Home and Garden for $29.95.
477
00:19:10,637 --> 00:19:12,477
Lowes Home and Garden?
478
00:19:13,577 --> 00:19:15,173
Hey, these are just plants.
479
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,311
No, they... they talk to me.
480
00:19:17,431 --> 00:19:20,435
No, they're just, like, ficus
plants in vibrating pots.
481
00:19:20,555 --> 00:19:22,306
- But...
- Looks like it's over,
482
00:19:22,337 --> 00:19:23,582
Harold Flannigan!
483
00:19:23,702 --> 00:19:26,223
So we have just one question for you...
484
00:19:26,511 --> 00:19:28,556
are you scared?
485
00:19:28,788 --> 00:19:31,447
- What do you mean?
- Are you scared?
486
00:19:31,567 --> 00:19:33,718
- Yes!
- That's good!
487
00:19:33,731 --> 00:19:35,188
[Voice changes] 'Cause you're on,
488
00:19:35,232 --> 00:19:37,347
"Yes, I Was Scared!"
489
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,255
- [Upbeat music playing]
- What?
490
00:19:39,493 --> 00:19:41,933
[Cheers and applause]
491
00:19:44,042 --> 00:19:46,257
Look, look at the camera right there.
492
00:19:46,307 --> 00:19:48,372
Oh, my God, are you serious?
493
00:19:48,492 --> 00:19:50,280
Your wife Sarah put you up to this.
494
00:19:50,336 --> 00:19:52,382
Ha ha, I got you! [Laughs]
495
00:19:53,183 --> 00:19:54,421
This is a prank?
496
00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:56,785
Oh, man, that's good. They got us good.
497
00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:59,289
I turned traitor for no reason?
498
00:19:59,327 --> 00:20:01,053
Did you know about this?
499
00:20:01,097 --> 00:20:02,912
I have no idea what's going on.
500
00:20:03,032 --> 00:20:05,240
Howard, did you suspect at
all that the guardening job
501
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,348
at a camp for troubled teams was a set up?
502
00:20:07,417 --> 00:20:09,300
No, they really had me convinced!
503
00:20:09,356 --> 00:20:11,315
And you didn't suspect anything
504
00:20:11,346 --> 00:20:13,767
when we had plants tell you
to turn goths and vamp kids
505
00:20:13,805 --> 00:20:16,576
into emos when really they're
exactly the same thing?
506
00:20:16,670 --> 00:20:18,459
[Laughs] I guess I should have figured it out.
507
00:20:18,472 --> 00:20:19,454
I'm an idiot.
508
00:20:19,504 --> 00:20:20,331
[Laughs]
509
00:20:20,343 --> 00:20:21,551
Tune in again next week,
510
00:20:21,632 --> 00:20:23,628
when we make a woman from Milwaukee
511
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,418
think she's working at a haunted abortion clinic.
512
00:20:29,415 --> 00:20:31,348
[Knock at door]
513
00:20:32,086 --> 00:20:33,656
So, my friends,
514
00:20:33,694 --> 00:20:35,652
have you made the transformation?
515
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,350
Uh... Henrietta, we have some bad news.
516
00:20:39,563 --> 00:20:42,265
The plants you think took over
your body and made you emo...
517
00:20:42,528 --> 00:20:43,867
They're just plants...
518
00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:45,662
from Lowes Home and Garden.
519
00:20:46,670 --> 00:20:49,892
It was all a prank by some
douchey network reality show.
520
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:51,998
No.
521
00:20:51,999 --> 00:20:53,958
There's an organic spore in my head
522
00:20:53,977 --> 00:20:56,486
that made me switch cliques so easily.
523
00:20:56,961 --> 00:20:59,433
No, you just kind of did it on your own.
524
00:21:00,999 --> 00:21:02,217
Oh, my God.
525
00:21:03,043 --> 00:21:05,614
This is so embarrassing.
526
00:21:06,258 --> 00:21:07,979
Uh, hang on.
527
00:21:08,048 --> 00:21:09,906
What I meant to say was,
528
00:21:10,026 --> 00:21:11,764
we just infiltrated the emo lair
529
00:21:11,808 --> 00:21:14,104
and we torched the plant leader.
530
00:21:14,999 --> 00:21:16,369
Oh.
531
00:21:16,744 --> 00:21:18,102
Oh!
532
00:21:19,516 --> 00:21:21,487
[Choking]
533
00:21:22,212 --> 00:21:23,998
I... it's me!
534
00:21:23,999 --> 00:21:26,642
I'm... I'm me again!
535
00:21:26,855 --> 00:21:29,270
Oh, my God, I'm all better.
536
00:21:29,390 --> 00:21:30,713
Thanks, you guys.
537
00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:33,549
Henrietta, I have dinner ready.
538
00:21:33,586 --> 00:21:34,663
Shut up, mom!
539
00:21:34,681 --> 00:21:36,308
Leave me alone, you conformist
540
00:21:36,327 --> 00:21:38,154
bag of demon jizz!
541
00:21:39,355 --> 00:21:40,362
Fatty!
542
00:21:40,838 --> 00:21:45,291
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
543
00:21:45,411 --> 00:21:47,714
Ok, so Ike, do you have any questions?
544
00:21:47,808 --> 00:21:49,854
You're fucking stupid, Kyle!
545
00:21:50,379 --> 00:21:51,886
That's not a question.
546
00:21:52,081 --> 00:21:53,001
All right,
547
00:21:53,058 --> 00:21:55,047
how did you get so fucking stupid, Kyle?
548
00:21:55,228 --> 00:21:57,543
Ike is back in an all new South Park,
549
00:21:57,555 --> 00:21:58,832
next Wednesday at 10.
550
00:21:58,850 --> 00:22:00,296
What the fuck is going on?