1
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,951
Previously on In Treatment.

2
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,596
My father has always been there for me.

3
00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:15,758
His studio was at home, so there were
a lot of models walking around naked.

4
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,314
- They were having sex.
- How do you know?

5
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:19,429
I saw them.

6
00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,675
Why didn't you ever tell your mother?

7
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,474
It's not my job to make her face reality.
I'm the child!

8
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,715
She's supposed to be smarter than me.

9
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:31,912
In all these weeks you've never allowed
yourself to be angry at your father.

10
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,520
I think that your father
made you his accomplice.

11
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,835
He drove this wedge
between you and your mother.

12
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,350
- Why can't you be angry at him?
- Why should I be angry at him?

13
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,675
She's the one who...

14
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,153
- who pisses me off.
- Why?

15
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,430
Because she's pathetic and annoying...

16
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,675
And she's always around.

17
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,556
(Sophie's mother) Well, what did I tell you?

18
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,717
- (Sophie) It's not four o'clock.
- It's five minutes to.

19
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,558
You said we'd be on time.
We're early.

20
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:07,478
(Chuckles) My apologies.

21
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,791
You don't have to wait for me.

22
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:13,717
Oh, that's all right.

23
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,832
I'll take a walk.
I like this neighbourhood.

24
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,432
OK. Whatever.
But you don't have to.

25
00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:31,194
Your hair looks lovely like this.
Really.

26
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,391
It looks lovely down too,
but there's something really...

27
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,989
great about it when it's up like this.

28
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,596
(Dog barking)

29
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,230
- Mom...
- I was gonna say...

30
00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,236
No, what were you gonna say?

31
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,669
It was nothing.
What were you gonna say?

32
00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,630
Well, I was just thinking that

33
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,353
after your session,
if you weren't busy,

34
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,277
that maybe we could do something.

35
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,788
I know you don't like
those shoes that I bought you,

36
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,070
but maybe we could
go get a different pair.

37
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,714
Or go get coffee.

38
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:18,353
What's wrong?

39
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,197
I'm fine.

40
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,470
Tell me what you
were gonna say before.

41
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,715
I have to go. I'm going to be late.

44
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,351
Everything is going to shit.

45
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,435
I tried talking to my mom all week.

46
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:21,917
I just tried again in the car
and I can't say anything to her.

47
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,356
I literally can't.

48
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,960
I feel like there's this lump in my throat

49
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,434
all the time now.

50
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,675
What do you think
you'd like to say to her?

51
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,871
I don't even know.

52
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,312
It's not just one thing.

53
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,555
I just want to talk to her like...

54
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,639
(Sobs)

55
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,670
My dad's been calling

56
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:56,157
constantly every day this week,
like he's suddenly competing for

57
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,112
most attentive father
of the year award.

58
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,515
- I haven't called him back once.
- Why not?

59
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,551
I don't know.

60
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,868
- Why do you think he's calling so often?
- Paul, stop.

61
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,480
I don't know, OK? I can't.

62
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,114
Just give me a fucking break.

63
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,315
Yesterday on the beam...

64
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,829
my legs started to shake...

65
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,472
like a spasm or something.

66
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,830
I've seen it happen to the younger girls
when they get scared.

67
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,758
I've never been scared on the beam.

68
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:39,270
Cy was watching,
so he'll probably pull me out of the meet.

69
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,356
I probably won't even get to compete.

70
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,073
I don't think that's gonna happen.

71
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,793
What the hell do you know about it?

72
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,914
Even if I do compete, how the fuck
am I supposed to ace a national tryout

73
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,155
if I'm shaking like an epileptic?

74
00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,352
I'll fall apart on the beam
and become a joke.

75
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,717
There's something
seriously wrong with me.

76
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,752
So we're going back to this, then?

77
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,952
That it's all your fault, that there's something
seriously wrong with you.

78
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,310
There is. I'm all fucked up.

79
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,715
In what way is that?

80
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:22,876
Gee, I don't know, Paul.

81
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:27,471
I ran my bike into a car. Then as soon as
they wanted to take my cast off,

82
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,432
my neck mysteriously wigged out.

83
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,598
Then I took your pills and now I have
some sort of a flesh-eating disease.

84
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,631
I mean, look.

85
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,637
Your dermatologist said
there was nothing to worry about.

86
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,274
What in the hell does she know?

87
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,517
She didn't say that it
might be stress-related?

88
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,718
Anxiety can manifest itself
in all kinds of physical ways.

89
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:58,877
Some people can get cramps,

90
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,673
migraines, a rash.

91
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:07,199
So I'm just a little worried?
OK, all better.

92
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:09,879
You're trying to do
two big things at the moment.

93
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,751
You're talking to your mother.

94
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,553
You're not just berating her
like you used to do.

95
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,795
You're actually trying to talk to her.

96
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:21,673
And you are avoiding your father.

97
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:27,317
These are extremely difficult things to do
because you've never done them before.

98
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,555
And...

99
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,750
they could lead to painful places.

100
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:35,716
Like telling your mother
your father's secrets

101
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:39,275
and telling your dad
that you're angry with him.

102
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:43,074
Don't you think that could be
causing you a lot of anxiety?

103
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:46,237
And that your body is
sending up these kind of flares

104
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,271
in the form of a rash?

105
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,353
I'm almost certain, Sophie,

106
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,312
that there is nothing
physically wrong with you.

107
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,911
You don't know that.

108
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,158
I remember once years ago
when I was starting my practice,

109
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:06,239
I moved to the city
and got a new apartment.

110
00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:08,032
Everything was going really well.

111
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,389
Very happy, I thought.

112
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:13,273
And then one day
I was with a patient

113
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,629
and for no reason
my heart started to pound.

114
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,079
I couldn't breathe.

115
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,829
I had this ringing in my ears
when suddenly my tongue started to swell up.

116
00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,633
So this patient called the ambulance
and they...

117
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:28,276
they took me to the hospital, took me
to this room, did all these kinds of tests.

118
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,791
You know what they found in the end?

119
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,719
What?

120
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:37,919
Nothing.

121
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:42,315
I'd had what they call
an anxiety attack.

122
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,157
(Chuckles)

123
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,792
Guess I was more...

124
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,912
overwhelmed and stressed
than I thought I was.

125
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,951
I think that's bullshit.

126
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:55,270
Does this look like
a little anxiety rash to you?

127
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:59,118
Well, doctor? Hello?

128
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,513
Look at me, you shit!

129
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:04,109
Am I that much of a freak
that you can't even look at me?

130
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:07,197
What's the matter, Paul?
Am I embarrassing you?

131
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,390
Crossing your boundaries?

132
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,433
You want to disappear when
somebody else wants something from you?

133
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,669
Do I still seem normal to you?

134
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,039
Mm-hm.

135
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,991
I shocked you.

136
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,833
You're shocked.

137
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,311
My titties scared you.

138
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,717
How can they?
They're just these tiny little things.

139
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,795
Does the size of your breasts
upset you, Sophie?

140
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,354
Course not.

141
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,597
It's just what happens to gymnasts.

142
00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,278
It's the diet.

143
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,914
When girls stop training they explode.

144
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:06,071
They gain weight,
grow a great big rack and ass,

145
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,031
get full periods.

146
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,310
They become normal.

147
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,909
I know it's not normal
to be like this, I get that.

148
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,914
I'd say that you had the body of a...

149
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,837
A fucking freak.

150
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,714
I have the body of a child.

151
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:28,433
But I'm not a child.
Children don't want to kill themselves.

152
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,191
That's true.

153
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,749
Are you thinking about death again, Sophie?

154
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,671
Do you know why?

155
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,190
Because everything
is falling apart around me.

156
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,993
It's what I'm trying to tell you.

157
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,398
It's like that dream I used to have

158
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,830
where the pretty meadow turns to ash
right in front of my eyes.

159
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,791
Except I'm awake

160
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,355
and I can't make it stop. (Sobbing)

161
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,670
You know, I was remembering
something that you told me.

162
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:23,230
The time when you were
in the ambulance. You remember?

163
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:27,034
You wanted to put the mirror outside
so that you could see what was going on.

164
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,833
You couldn't see anything except yourself.

165
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,030
- Remember that?
- So what?

166
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,550
I think sometimes when things
go wrong in your life, Sophie,

167
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,477
you blame yourself.

168
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,590
Whenever a situation seems difficult,

169
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,598
you assume that it's...
that it's your fault.

170
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:48,718
You built this surrogate home
with Cy and Darlene and it fell apart for you.

171
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,671
And you blamed yourself,

172
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,790
not Cy.

173
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:57,311
And you decided to punish yourself
by riding your bicycle into a car.

174
00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,750
See, the thing is, if you see yourself
always as the problem,

175
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:05,635
you're going to create discord
in the most perfect places.

176
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:11,310
Did it ever occur to you that Cy was the person
responsible for what happened?

177
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:12,634
It was my fault.

178
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,558
- But why does it have to be your fault?
- Because it is.

179
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,716
That's the second time it's happened.

180
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,955
It's the second time your home fell apart.

181
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,276
But why would you think
that that was your fault?

182
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,390
- I don't know.
- I need you to tell me.

183
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,431
- I don't know.
- It's important for you to...

184
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,038
- I don't know, Paul.
- But...

185
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,559
Stop it!

186
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:36,716
You want me to have some big breakthrough
today, I can see that.

187
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,994
Why don't you just tell me
what the answer is

188
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,396
and I'll repeat it and you can
put a gold star on my forehead?

189
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,113
I'm trying to help you find your own answers.

190
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:53,438
And I think that you are
really close to that.

191
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,432
And I understand
how scary that must be.

192
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,749
Have you ever read the Bible?

193
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:15,116
Isn't that, like, illegal
for you to ask me that?

194
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,229
(Chuckles)

195
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,157
Not really.

196
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,715
It's really just a subject like any other.

197
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,479
You can choose to talk about it or not.

198
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:28,875
Anyway, in the New Testament,
God is always portrayed as being good,

199
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:32,674
and wickedness and evil is a human thing,
a human problem.

200
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:37,430
Actually it's one of the things that's helped
Christianity to spread very quickly.

201
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,914
Can you think why?

202
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,789
People like to feel shitty
about themselves?

203
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,400
That's it. Exactly.

204
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,193
We prefer to live
in a world where God is good

205
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,676
and man is bad rather than
a world where God is bad.

206
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,029
So an evil authority,
an unfair government,

207
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,878
neglectful parents -
that's a pretty scary concept.

208
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:03,833
Makes your whole life seem
kind of scary and meaningless.

209
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:07,190
It is one of the reasons
why children will blame themselves

210
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,549
before their parents.

211
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:19,031
You told me once that you wanted to move
to be with your dad and his new wife,

212
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:22,550
but they didn't have a room for you
in her house.

213
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:26,593
You said that they argued about it
and that eventually he left her, right?

214
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:31,077
- Right.
- How long did it take him to... to leave her?

215
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,151
I don't know, over two years.

216
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:37,673
Mm.

217
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:41,076
And during that whole time,
your mother was depressed and...

218
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,395
and crying constantly, yeah?

219
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,749
You wanted to move to your dad
and be with him,

220
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,233
but you couldn't.

221
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,396
Two years is a long time for a child

222
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,079
to be without a safe place to call home.

223
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,873
I told you, he left her because of that.

224
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,911
After two years, Sophie.

225
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,151
I don't understand.

226
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,429
How could he just stop loving me?

227
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,836
- What did I do?
- You didn't do anything.

228
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,677
(Sobbing)

229
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,438
Isn't there a law somewhere

230
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:25,392
that says parents have to
love their kids forever?

231
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:29,877
You're right. But you must've
screwed up somewhere.

232
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:31,911
Otherwise, how could they treat you like this?

233
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,794
A father can't just abandon
his perfectly normal daughter,

234
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,831
swap her for a new family.

235
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:42,271
A mother can't just fall into
a deep depression and ignore her.

236
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,629
Must be your fault.

237
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:56,358
Maybe if I had told my mother about
the cheating, things would be better with her.

238
00:14:56,400 --> 00:15:00,234
That is not the sort of responsibility
a child should be asked to handle.

239
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,989
Your father cheated on your mother,
you didn't tell her. Then he left.

240
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:07,112
You needed that order of events
to somehow make sense,

241
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:11,676
so you blamed yourself
because nothing else made sense.

242
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,431
Sophie... (Clears throat)

243
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,551
Listen to me.

244
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,910
You saw your dad cheating
and you didn't tell your mom.

245
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,518
Now do you honestly think

246
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,632
that that's a reason
for you to be abandoned?

247
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,748
I found my diary from fourth grade.

248
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,789
I used to write in this thing constantly.

249
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,398
Did you ever keep a diary?

250
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,837
No.

251
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,955
I took it out because
I wanted to see if you were right

252
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,595
about how hard it was
for me to lie to my mother.

253
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,433
Do you want me to read to you what I found?

254
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,679
I'd be honoured.

255
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:39,315
"Dear Hermione"...

256
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,272
I pretended that I was
writing to Hermione Granger.

257
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:43,799
Who's that?

258
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,354
You know, from Harry Potter.

259
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,709
Tell me you've read those.

260
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,591
Are you insane?

261
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,631
Just haven't gotten around to it yet.

262
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,598
- They've been out for ten years.
- I know, I know, I know.

263
00:16:56,640 --> 00:17:00,110
- I'll bring you my set next week.
- That's not necessary, honestly.

264
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,390
My kids have them.

265
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,955
- They've read them?
- Uh-huh. And they really love them.

266
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,470
OK. Maybe you're not
such a fucked-up parent.

267
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,875
(Chuckles) Thank you.

268
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:14,592
"Dear Hermione,

269
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,312
"It was a terrible day today.

270
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:20,433
"I am so sad. I'm sorry
I haven't written to you in a while.

271
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,472
"I know you must be angry
and miss me.

272
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,557
"I miss you too.
I wanted to tell you everything,

273
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:30,559
"but I know I must hide things from you
because she might read it.

274
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:34,798
"I'm afraid from now on
you and I must sustain ourselves."

275
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,151
What is it?

276
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:42,795
I wrote "sustain"
instead of "restrain".

277
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,719
Where did you keep this diary?

278
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,398
On my night table.

279
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,431
Not hidden away?

280
00:17:56,080 --> 00:18:00,153
You know,
it's a wonderful gift, this diary.

281
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:03,351
It's a real clue to who you are.

282
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,791
There you are in fourth grade,
you're already pulling away from your world.

283
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,753
You're establishing a relationship
with somebody who cannot let you down -

284
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,279
Hermione.

285
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,039
You're confiding in her.

286
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:21,631
But you're still hoping
that your mother will notice.

287
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,435
You think I wanted her
to find the diary?

288
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,471
I think so.

289
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:33,077
And you wanted her
to ask what you're hiding.

290
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,037
You said there,

291
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,117
it was a terrible day -
what did you mean by that?

292
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,196
It was September 11th.

293
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,278
Well...

294
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,075
Go on. Please.

295
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,072
Do I have to read it?
It's so fucking naive.

296
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:04,680
I'd like to hear it.

297
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,440
"Today, bad men from other countries

298
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:16,996
"hijacked airplanes and flew them
into important American buildings.

299
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,632
"There were people inside

300
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,671
"the planes and the buildings.

301
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,352
"Good people.

302
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,392
"Dad says I'm going to inherit an evil world."

303
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,675
I hate him so much.
I hate him so much.

304
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,359
What kind of a fucking idiot
tells a fourth-grader

305
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,960
that she's going to inherit an evil world?

306
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,515
If he really believed that,
then why didn't he do something about it?

307
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:47,155
Instead of running off to LA
to photograph bimbos.

308
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,273
(Paul) Mm.

309
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,995
- So you're not picking up his calls?
- No way.

310
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,476
So he doesn't even know
that you're angry at him?

311
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,476
I don't want to talk about this now.

312
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,272
OK.

313
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,799
But when you're ready,

314
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:08,276
we'll talk about
what you want to say to him.

315
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,038
OK?

316
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:21,799
So you really think the rash and spasms
are coming from my head?

317
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,070
Mm-hm. But that doesn't mean they're not real.

318
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,111
But I don't think that it's...

319
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,549
that it's a disease.

320
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,111
So what do I do about it?

321
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,391
(Clears throat) I think you need to start
to forgive yourself.

322
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,431
Forgive myself for what?

323
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:42,156
Not telling your mother about your father's
affair. What you have to understand is that

324
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,670
they were gonna break up anyway,
no matter what you did.

325
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,110
You are not responsible
for your parents' actions.

326
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:53,994
The only actions
that we can control are our own.

327
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:58,591
And the only power we have
is how we treat other people

328
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,518
and how we treat ourselves.

329
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:05,712
So... you want me to forgive myself?

330
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,637
Mm-hm.

331
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,878
How?

332
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,717
Slowly.

333
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,591
It's gonna take a while.

334
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,870
It's taken you a few years to fall into this

335
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,913
and it's probably gonna
take you a while to get out of it.

336
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,554
But you have to start trying now.

337
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,671
Cos you know something?

338
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:34,910
You deserve to be happy.

339
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,989
Qué lástima!

340
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,156
Hmm?

341
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,715
It's from a Spanish song.
It means what a shame.

342
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,638
Qué lástima!

343
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:09,473
A ciertas luces usted parece
una estrella de cine.

344
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,233
Oh.

345
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,748
My Spanish is dreadful.
What does that mean?

346
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,950
It means in a certain light,

347
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,753
- you look like a movie star.
- Oh.

348
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,515
Well, gracias.

349
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,471
(Both chuckle)

350
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,308
The competition is on Friday.
Should I go?

351
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:34,952
I think so.

352
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,235
I think that you really want to and...

353
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,874
I agree that you should go.

354
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,795
- I have to go.
- OK.

355
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,320
My mom's waiting for me in the car.

356
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:55,112
She wants to take me shopping.

357
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,754
Shopping. Wow, that sounds rough.

358
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:02,475
Listen, if you decide to compete
and you start to feel anxious,

359
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,112
I want you to call me, OK?

360
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,754
You know, don't be shy.

361
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,234
I'm never shy.

362
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,748
Sometimes I'm circumspect,

363
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,472
or wary, but not shy.

364
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:14,999
I stand corrected.

365
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:19,033
And listen, if you're up on the beam
and your legs start to shake,

366
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,435
try saying this to yourself,

367
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,472
"I am making this happen.
It is coming from inside me

368
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,397
"and because I am
making it happen,

369
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,352
"I can make it stop."

370
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,752
Does that really work?

371
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,631
Mm. I think it can, yeah.

372
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,035
I used it on myself a few years ago

373
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:39,593
and, uh...

374
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,835
and it did work.

375
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,474
- OK, I'll try it.
- OK.

376
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,075
Where to?

377
00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:26,590
Wherever you'd like -
the mall, the movies...

378
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,835
Let's go home.

379
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,398
OK.

380
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:41,117
We can stop for coffee somewhere
if you want to.

381
00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:47,714
- What's wrong?
- Nothing. (Chuckles)

382
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:49,079
We don't have to.

383
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:51,429
No, we should.
We should do that.

384
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,510
(Engine starts)

385
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:31,469
English SDH