1 00:00:01,380 --> 00:00:03,182 Kids, back when we were younger, 2 00:00:03,302 --> 00:00:06,328 your uncle Marshall and I were really into college basketball. 3 00:00:06,448 --> 00:00:09,405 Every year, March Madness would take over the entire apartment. 4 00:00:09,525 --> 00:00:12,394 - Hey. What's with the blackboard? - It's our NCAA bracket. 5 00:00:12,514 --> 00:00:14,951 Big board equals big luck! 6 00:00:15,674 --> 00:00:18,526 Hey, that looks familiar. Where did you get it? 7 00:00:20,774 --> 00:00:21,488 Hello. 8 00:00:21,748 --> 00:00:23,178 I'm looking for my wife, Ms. Aldrin. 9 00:00:23,555 --> 00:00:25,400 There's no school today. It's a Saturday. 10 00:00:26,341 --> 00:00:28,244 Of course. How could I forget? 11 00:00:28,366 --> 00:00:29,367 Dumbass. 12 00:00:39,114 --> 00:00:41,179 - Big board! - Big luck! 13 00:00:41,763 --> 00:00:43,370 We found it. No big deal. 14 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:46,246 Anyway, every year, Ted and I go in together on this 15 00:00:46,352 --> 00:00:48,134 big money pool out in Staten Island. 16 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,237 The winner gets $100, 000 stuffed in a duffel bag. 17 00:00:51,339 --> 00:00:54,007 And you get to keep the duffel bag. 18 00:00:54,209 --> 00:00:57,895 Why do you guys put yourselves through this? You lose every year. 19 00:00:58,001 --> 00:00:59,857 That's because in the past, we were just guessing. 20 00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:01,645 This year, we watched every game, 21 00:01:01,681 --> 00:01:03,535 read box scores, tracked injuries. 22 00:01:03,641 --> 00:01:05,065 This isn't March Madness. 23 00:01:05,169 --> 00:01:08,106 This is March Meticulously Thought-outness. 24 00:01:08,310 --> 00:01:09,937 Your team lost 20 minutes ago. 25 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,026 I didn't know they were playing today. 26 00:01:16,691 --> 00:01:17,697 You okay, Barney? 27 00:01:18,260 --> 00:01:20,035 Something strange is going on. 28 00:01:20,722 --> 00:01:23,407 I was down at the hardware store trying to get a little somethin' somethin'. 29 00:01:23,740 --> 00:01:26,456 Wait. You go to the hardware store to pick up girls? 30 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:29,807 There are four kinds of women who go to the hardware store by themselves. 31 00:01:29,909 --> 00:01:31,047 Of course there are. 32 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,924 Single, recently single, recently divorced, 33 00:01:35,029 --> 00:01:36,754 lesbian who will let me watch. 34 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:38,466 You could not be more evil. 35 00:01:38,779 --> 00:01:41,346 Sorry. Five. Recently widowed. 36 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,266 So, I'm talking to this girl... 37 00:01:44,932 --> 00:01:47,187 Look, I'm sure he's in a better place. 38 00:01:47,739 --> 00:01:50,146 Now let's find you a sturdier ladder. 39 00:01:52,259 --> 00:01:54,185 I was only gone for a second when... 40 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,374 See? Skid-proof. 41 00:01:59,922 --> 00:02:02,155 The same thing happened at the pet store yesterday. 44 00:02:06,542 --> 00:02:08,744 who just dumped her. Instead, finds Barney. 45 00:02:09,341 --> 00:02:11,667 God bless you, Ted. You're reading my blog. 46 00:02:13,621 --> 00:02:15,006 I'm really bored at work. 47 00:02:15,979 --> 00:02:19,634 I'd call your ex a dog, but that would be an insult to little Ladybug here. 48 00:02:19,842 --> 00:02:21,557 I want to take her home right now. 49 00:02:22,361 --> 00:02:25,175 Not without a chew toy from Uncle Barney first. 50 00:02:28,251 --> 00:02:29,627 And when I got back... 51 00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:33,514 I'm sorry, I'm already spoiling her, but, Diamond in the ruff? 52 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:34,934 Could your heart just melt? 53 00:02:35,140 --> 00:02:35,894 Jerk! 54 00:02:38,529 --> 00:02:39,305 Weird, right? 55 00:02:39,769 --> 00:02:42,946 The same thing happened last week at the museum. 56 00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:44,614 Lily. 57 00:02:44,819 --> 00:02:47,827 You pretend to be a struggling young artist who needs a new muse. 58 00:02:48,031 --> 00:02:49,516 No. Marsh. 59 00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:52,074 You're a millionaire art thief casing the joint for a thrill 60 00:02:52,182 --> 00:02:53,666 money can no longer give you! 61 00:02:53,871 --> 00:02:54,704 Oh. No. Robin. 62 00:02:54,911 --> 00:02:58,075 You're going blind, and you're trying to soak up all the beauty in the world 63 00:02:58,182 --> 00:02:59,544 before the darkness descends. 64 00:02:59,671 --> 00:03:00,437 Bingo! 65 00:03:01,339 --> 00:03:02,715 So, I was talking to this girl. 66 00:03:03,470 --> 00:03:05,424 At this point, about 83%. 67 00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:09,345 Soon, these audio guides will be all that I have left. 68 00:03:09,651 --> 00:03:11,554 I'm so sorry. 69 00:03:13,931 --> 00:03:16,065 My God, you are beautiful. 70 00:03:18,022 --> 00:03:22,155 How about I get you a headset so you can see with your ears like I do? 71 00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:32,584 I couldn't have been gone more than 20 seconds, but when I came back... 72 00:03:33,251 --> 00:03:35,167 I also love the smell of great art. 73 00:03:38,542 --> 00:03:40,265 Why does this keep happening? 74 00:03:40,372 --> 00:03:43,185 Maybe you're not as good a liar as you think you are. 75 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:46,665 Oh, really? Then why am I not in prison for perjury? 76 00:03:46,771 --> 00:03:48,176 But I don't want to talk about work. 77 00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:52,096 Something weird is going on here. 78 00:03:52,711 --> 00:03:54,766 But the next night got even weirder. 79 00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:58,434 Alan Alda. It was Alan Alda. 80 00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,446 You're never gonna believe what just happened. 81 00:04:02,321 --> 00:04:05,025 Who was that, um, guy from Mash? 82 00:04:05,451 --> 00:04:07,374 The main guy. What...? 83 00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:09,456 Hawkeye from Mash. How can I be blanking on this? 84 00:04:09,742 --> 00:04:10,664 Alan Alda? 85 00:04:11,401 --> 00:04:12,137 No. 86 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,047 Hey, a word of advice? 87 00:04:18,150 --> 00:04:20,444 That guy you were talking to, Barney Stinson... 88 00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:21,805 I know he seems charming, 89 00:04:21,912 --> 00:04:24,157 but he's just saying whatever it takes to get in your pants. 90 00:04:24,262 --> 00:04:27,217 Sleeping with Barney was the biggest mistake of my life. 91 00:04:30,829 --> 00:04:32,576 Oh, my God. Where is she? 92 00:04:34,892 --> 00:04:36,104 She must have left. 93 00:04:36,592 --> 00:04:38,726 Well, she-she said I hooked up with her? 94 00:04:38,829 --> 00:04:40,027 What was her name? What did she look like? 95 00:04:40,131 --> 00:04:43,874 She didn't say her name, but she had blonde hair, boobs. 96 00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:44,735 Kind of trashy. 97 00:04:45,549 --> 00:04:48,155 Dead in the eyes with an aura of self-loathing and despair? 98 00:04:48,260 --> 00:04:49,575 That's all of them. 99 00:04:50,452 --> 00:04:51,656 Okay. Stay calm. 100 00:04:51,949 --> 00:04:53,486 Let's think this through. 101 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:58,367 One of the girls who I lied to, seduced and abandoned is trying to ruin my life. 102 00:04:58,592 --> 00:05:01,245 Shouldn't be too hard to figure out which one it is. 103 00:05:10,879 --> 00:05:12,144 Oh, dear God! 104 00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:22,945 How I Met Your Mother 3x14- The Bracket 105 00:05:28,432 --> 00:05:30,026 This is a nightmare. 106 00:05:30,244 --> 00:05:33,336 Some woman that I slept with and screwed over is trying to ruin my life. 107 00:05:33,444 --> 00:05:34,956 God, why is this happening to me? 108 00:05:35,061 --> 00:05:35,909 It's karma. 109 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:37,767 Nah, it's not Karma. 110 00:05:38,051 --> 00:05:41,208 She's strippg in Vegas. Plus, we're good. 111 00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:44,327 Look, if you want to figure out who it is, why don't you just 112 00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,548 start by checking your list? 113 00:05:46,032 --> 00:05:46,918 My list? 114 00:05:47,332 --> 00:05:50,066 Dude, do not pretend you're not the kind of guy 115 00:05:50,171 --> 00:05:52,136 who keeps a list of all the girls he's slept with. 116 00:05:52,432 --> 00:05:53,698 I have one. 117 00:05:53,802 --> 00:05:56,716 It's called my marriage license. 118 00:05:57,153 --> 00:05:58,839 Come on, let's see the list. 119 00:05:59,241 --> 00:06:00,768 Ted, don't be crass. 120 00:06:01,471 --> 00:06:03,496 I would never demean the women that I've slept with 121 00:06:03,603 --> 00:06:06,566 by putting their names on some tawdry list. 122 00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:09,008 This is a scrapbook of all of the women I've slept with. 123 00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:13,568 I made it at the Scrapbook Barn on 7th. Ask for Heloise. Tell her I sent you. 124 00:06:15,473 --> 00:06:16,567 What do you think, Lil? 125 00:06:16,674 --> 00:06:18,249 You recognize the saboteur? 126 00:06:18,454 --> 00:06:20,916 I don't know, Barney. I only saw her face. 127 00:06:22,024 --> 00:06:23,947 How many of these girls know they're being photographed? 128 00:06:24,242 --> 00:06:27,728 All of them, but only about half buy a copy on the way out. 129 00:06:28,652 --> 00:06:32,018 Barney, you're never gonna figure out which one of these is the mystery woman. 130 00:06:32,122 --> 00:06:34,046 All of these women have a right to hate you. 131 00:06:34,253 --> 00:06:36,478 Oh, Lily, come on, lighten up. I mean, any girl 132 00:06:36,581 --> 00:06:40,247 who's gonna be with a guy like Barney and do this or 133 00:06:40,404 --> 00:06:44,506 that, or this and that, or do this with those in that... 134 00:06:44,723 --> 00:06:46,868 I mean, she should have known what she was getting into. 135 00:06:46,972 --> 00:06:48,559 Absolutely. 136 00:06:48,701 --> 00:06:53,068 And what I do with these women should be between me and them. 137 00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:55,158 And you guys. 138 00:06:55,614 --> 00:06:58,659 And Heloise. She helped me do the decoupage. 139 00:06:59,033 --> 00:07:01,327 I don't know, Barney. I don't recognize any of these women. 140 00:07:01,434 --> 00:07:05,306 I mean, some minor celebrities, one government official, 141 00:07:05,598 --> 00:07:08,849 and what appears to be a national fast food chain mascot. 142 00:07:10,676 --> 00:07:12,491 This is impossible. 143 00:07:12,595 --> 00:07:14,012 There's too many girls. 144 00:07:14,115 --> 00:07:15,639 How the hell am I gonna narrow this down? 145 00:07:16,052 --> 00:07:19,268 The top 64 women I've slept with, split into four regions. 146 00:07:19,592 --> 00:07:21,696 This tournament will systematically narrow down 147 00:07:21,802 --> 00:07:23,898 which girl has the most cause to hate my guts. 148 00:07:24,002 --> 00:07:25,936 Last girl standing has to be the saboteur. 149 00:07:26,282 --> 00:07:29,196 Absolutely not, Barney. We are not going to make a game out 150 00:07:29,304 --> 00:07:31,438 of the women you've tricked into sleeping with you. 151 00:07:36,083 --> 00:07:36,948 No way! 152 00:07:37,683 --> 00:07:39,618 The girl who thought he had 12 hours to live 153 00:07:39,723 --> 00:07:41,489 has way more cause to ruin his life 154 00:07:41,533 --> 00:07:42,837 than the girl he fake proposed to. 155 00:07:42,941 --> 00:07:44,909 It's Fake Proposal Girl. 156 00:07:45,012 --> 00:07:46,997 I mean, she hired a wedding planner! 157 00:07:47,104 --> 00:07:49,456 It's 12 hours to live! That girl flew them both to Paris! 158 00:07:49,583 --> 00:07:51,376 Oh, she only bought him a one-way ticket! 159 00:07:52,343 --> 00:07:54,628 Okay, okay, everybody! Hands. 160 00:07:54,963 --> 00:07:56,376 12 hours to live! 161 00:07:56,481 --> 00:07:57,528 Damn it! 162 00:07:59,254 --> 00:08:00,376 Okay, toss up. 163 00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:03,767 "Thought I was Jorge Posada, " or "You have my dead wife's kidney?" 164 00:08:03,971 --> 00:08:05,729 - Kidney! - Jorge Posada! 165 00:08:05,933 --> 00:08:08,226 She bought Yankees season tickets to watch him play! 166 00:08:08,432 --> 00:08:10,079 - That's true... - It's Dead Wife's Kidney. 167 00:08:10,182 --> 00:08:12,028 How are we even discussing this? 168 00:08:13,491 --> 00:08:17,078 - Fake Baby! - Lost at Sea! 169 00:08:17,183 --> 00:08:19,408 I was there. Trust me. 170 00:08:20,053 --> 00:08:21,337 It's Fake Baby. 171 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,526 Down to the sweet 16. 172 00:08:24,631 --> 00:08:26,109 And coming out of the Upper West Side, 173 00:08:26,213 --> 00:08:29,296 we have the number three seed, "Girl who thought I owned Google, " 174 00:08:29,402 --> 00:08:33,206 up against the number seven seed, "Girl who thought I was a scuba instructor. " 175 00:08:33,852 --> 00:08:35,876 - You got to go Scuba Instructor. - You're kidding me! 176 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,476 - She got the bends! - Yeah, she did. 177 00:08:39,612 --> 00:08:42,447 Boo. 178 00:08:42,942 --> 00:08:44,989 - Evil Twin! - Prince of Norway! 179 00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:48,516 - How could it not be Prince of Norway?! - Barney, you're the tiebreaker. 180 00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:51,689 - I'm going with Evil Twin. - You're kidding me! 181 00:08:51,892 --> 00:08:56,818 Sorry, but I did sleep with that girl twice. As Barney and Larney. 182 00:09:02,544 --> 00:09:05,348 Okay, we're down to the Final Four. 183 00:09:05,451 --> 00:09:07,789 What do you think, people? Come on, dig deep. 184 00:09:08,111 --> 00:09:11,126 Oh! I can't decide. It could be any one of them. 185 00:09:11,841 --> 00:09:14,506 Is that the blackboard from my classroom? 186 00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,376 Come on! Marshall? 187 00:09:17,041 --> 00:09:19,298 I'm tired and sad. 188 00:09:20,104 --> 00:09:20,798 Mosby? 189 00:09:22,074 --> 00:09:23,828 I want to call my mom, 190 00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:25,557 just tell her I love her. 191 00:09:28,914 --> 00:09:30,858 Then this is as far as we get. 192 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,398 The Final Four. 193 00:09:32,893 --> 00:09:35,808 It's got to be Meg, Anna, 194 00:09:36,063 --> 00:09:38,497 Kate or Holly. 195 00:09:38,602 --> 00:09:40,419 We are gonna track these girls down, 196 00:09:40,524 --> 00:09:42,946 and you're going to tell me which one approached you at the bar. 197 00:09:43,051 --> 00:09:45,196 You guys stole my blackboard! 198 00:09:52,351 --> 00:09:53,656 Okay, there's her building. 199 00:09:53,762 --> 00:09:55,738 When she comes out, I'm gonna hide, 200 00:09:55,842 --> 00:09:58,218 and once you figure out if she's the girl from the bar, we run like hell. 201 00:09:58,401 --> 00:10:00,257 - No. - What do you mean, no? 202 00:10:00,893 --> 00:10:03,297 That woman, like every woman in your Final Four, 203 00:10:03,401 --> 00:10:05,966 deserves an apology, and I'm not telling you if she's the one 204 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,767 until I hear you say, "I'm sorry. " 205 00:10:08,183 --> 00:10:09,397 Are you nuts? 206 00:10:09,604 --> 00:10:12,408 That would involve me speaking to a woman I've already had sex with, 207 00:10:12,514 --> 00:10:15,979 which, frankly, is a little bit like changing the oil in a rental car. 208 00:10:16,332 --> 00:10:17,857 Barney, you're doing this. 209 00:10:18,061 --> 00:10:19,938 Lily, this girl hates me. 210 00:10:20,042 --> 00:10:22,878 I hooked up with her in an apartment I was pretending was my own, 211 00:10:22,984 --> 00:10:25,446 told her I loved her, and then ditched her there. 212 00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:29,409 She got arrested for trespassing, bit a cop, and spent eight days in jail. 213 00:10:30,483 --> 00:10:33,706 Oh, crap, there she is! If she sees me, she's gonna kill me! 214 00:10:33,913 --> 00:10:36,547 Here's what we're gonna do. Hey, Meg! Over here! 215 00:10:36,751 --> 00:10:40,047 Look who it is! Your old friend Barney! 216 00:10:45,416 --> 00:10:46,193 Barney? 217 00:10:47,246 --> 00:10:49,303 If she kills me, I want you to go into my apartment, 218 00:10:49,406 --> 00:10:52,401 grab the metal briefcase under my bed and throw it in the East River. 219 00:10:52,507 --> 00:10:54,001 What are you doing here? 220 00:10:54,106 --> 00:10:56,371 Look, Meg, we need to talk. 221 00:10:57,096 --> 00:10:58,392 It was all my fault. 222 00:11:00,016 --> 00:11:01,671 I know it was, baby. 223 00:11:02,015 --> 00:11:03,671 I just came on too strong. 224 00:11:04,537 --> 00:11:05,951 And I forgive you. 225 00:11:06,637 --> 00:11:07,632 I love you. 226 00:11:08,575 --> 00:11:11,590 Oh, my God! I love you, too! 227 00:11:11,698 --> 00:11:17,180 No! What's the matter with you? Get off of him! 228 00:11:17,548 --> 00:11:20,830 Look, she's not the one, but you still owe her an apol... 229 00:11:28,748 --> 00:11:30,612 So you remember who this one is, right? 230 00:11:30,817 --> 00:11:33,200 Yes. You told her you were Ted and that you were an architect. 231 00:11:33,307 --> 00:11:36,661 Right, and if you recall, her computer had a web cam and a T-1 line, so I... 232 00:11:36,867 --> 00:11:38,630 Yeah, I know, Barney, you showed me. 233 00:11:38,736 --> 00:11:41,121 And that still doesn't count as a Christmas present. 234 00:11:41,995 --> 00:11:43,710 Go over there and apologize. 235 00:11:44,916 --> 00:11:46,562 Ah, there she is. 236 00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:49,592 Ooh, and she's holding hot coffee. Maybe she'll throw it in your face. 237 00:11:50,227 --> 00:11:52,970 - You're really enjoying this, aren't you? - I'm making a scrapbook. 238 00:11:57,168 --> 00:11:58,390 Anna, hi. 239 00:11:58,598 --> 00:12:01,393 Look who it is, Mr. Big Shot Architect. 240 00:12:01,908 --> 00:12:04,700 If you're here to ask me to take down the Web site, forget it. 241 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:07,570 - What Web site? - Ted-Mosby-Is-A-Jerk-dot-com. 242 00:12:09,498 --> 00:12:11,780 You're right, I do deserve that. 243 00:12:13,235 --> 00:12:14,963 That's all I came here to say. 244 00:12:15,675 --> 00:12:16,531 You know what? 245 00:12:17,318 --> 00:12:20,372 I don't care who knows about it. Excuse me. 246 00:12:20,625 --> 00:12:23,713 Excuse me. I, Ted Mosby, 247 00:12:23,915 --> 00:12:25,930 am a jerk to women. 248 00:12:26,508 --> 00:12:31,090 Tell your sisters. Tell your daughters to stay away! 249 00:12:32,237 --> 00:12:34,932 Ted-Mosby-Is-A-Jerk-dot-com. 250 00:12:36,187 --> 00:12:41,811 And that little Web site went on to get 400, 000 hits. Thanks, Barney. 251 00:12:46,737 --> 00:12:48,652 Which one is this again? 252 00:12:49,528 --> 00:12:51,691 Larney! Die! 253 00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:54,482 - Is it her? - Die! 254 00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:55,571 Smile. 255 00:12:57,005 --> 00:13:00,612 You look good. Have you lost weight? 256 00:13:05,366 --> 00:13:07,611 We're down to the number one seed. 257 00:13:07,905 --> 00:13:10,341 I knew it was Holly. It had to be Holly. 258 00:13:10,708 --> 00:13:12,961 Man, I was hoping it wasn't Holly. 259 00:13:20,728 --> 00:13:22,973 Barney, did you hear that? Somebody's stealing my truck. 260 00:13:24,908 --> 00:13:26,413 Barney? 261 00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:30,362 Barney! 262 00:13:36,787 --> 00:13:38,851 That is the worst thing you've ever done. 263 00:13:38,956 --> 00:13:41,321 That's the worst thing anyone has ever done. 264 00:13:41,427 --> 00:13:45,450 But in my defense, she was kind of annoying. 265 00:13:47,588 --> 00:13:48,811 She's gonna kill you. 266 00:13:50,856 --> 00:13:52,552 - Barney. - Holly. 267 00:13:53,898 --> 00:13:55,170 Mark, come over here. 268 00:13:57,526 --> 00:14:00,363 Barney, this is my fiancé, Mark. 269 00:14:00,735 --> 00:14:01,431 Barney? 270 00:14:02,097 --> 00:14:04,683 You're the Barney who ditched her in the woods? 271 00:14:08,686 --> 00:14:10,543 So you're not mad at Barney? 272 00:14:10,647 --> 00:14:12,692 Don't you want an apology? 273 00:14:12,795 --> 00:14:14,783 An admission of guilt? 274 00:14:15,328 --> 00:14:16,363 Your truck back? 275 00:14:16,565 --> 00:14:18,923 No, whatever happened was in the past. 276 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,491 And Mark is my present and my future. 277 00:14:21,756 --> 00:14:23,903 And if you ditching Holly in the woods 278 00:14:24,007 --> 00:14:26,290 made her stop running around with guys like you, 279 00:14:26,395 --> 00:14:28,022 then cheers. 280 00:14:29,575 --> 00:14:31,813 Well then, to the last Fourth of July weekend 281 00:14:31,917 --> 00:14:33,920 I'll spend getting eaten alive by mosquitoes. 282 00:14:35,068 --> 00:14:36,710 Fourth of July? 283 00:14:37,148 --> 00:14:38,930 We started dating in June. 284 00:14:43,798 --> 00:14:45,220 We ruined their lives. 285 00:14:45,595 --> 00:14:46,810 And the worst part of it 286 00:14:47,017 --> 00:14:49,570 is that you didn't apologize to any of those women. 287 00:14:49,815 --> 00:14:52,650 No, the worst part is that we still have no idea who my stalker is. 288 00:14:52,858 --> 00:14:55,330 Well, that's because you're going about this all wrong. 289 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:57,493 I mean, why chase someone who's following you? 290 00:14:57,935 --> 00:15:00,132 All you need to do is go down to the bar, 291 00:15:00,237 --> 00:15:02,461 hit on someone, and wait until she turns up. 292 00:15:03,618 --> 00:15:04,870 That's not a bad idea. 293 00:15:05,668 --> 00:15:07,623 I'll pretend to be the girl that you're hitting on. 294 00:15:07,998 --> 00:15:11,300 I don't know. That's a lot riding on a girl who giggles when she lies. 295 00:15:11,405 --> 00:15:12,252 I do not. 296 00:15:12,747 --> 00:15:14,411 Have you ever fallen asleep while eating ribs? 297 00:15:14,645 --> 00:15:15,840 No. 298 00:15:19,177 --> 00:15:20,902 Look, I can do this, okay? 299 00:15:21,005 --> 00:15:24,220 I mean, how else are you going to find out who this girl is. 300 00:15:24,527 --> 00:15:26,103 - I'm in. - Okay, 301 00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:28,143 here's how it's gonna work. Now Lily, 302 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,190 she knows what you look like, 303 00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:34,020 so just hang out at the jukebox, and don't draw any attention to yourself. 304 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,653 And the guys will be in the booth, 305 00:15:40,855 --> 00:15:43,711 just pretending to have a normal conversation. 306 00:15:44,627 --> 00:15:47,850 -Talking, we should be talking. - Words. Here are words. 307 00:15:47,955 --> 00:15:49,411 Why is this so hard? 308 00:15:51,355 --> 00:15:52,051 Laughter! 309 00:15:52,387 --> 00:15:55,963 And then I'll come in, looking hot as all hell. 310 00:16:00,196 --> 00:16:03,023 Wow, you are gorgeous. 311 00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:05,432 - God, I know that's awful. I... - Shh, go away. 312 00:16:07,316 --> 00:16:08,312 But come back later. 313 00:16:11,267 --> 00:16:13,901 And then Barney will make his move. 314 00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:16,112 Hey, there, how are you doing? 315 00:16:16,586 --> 00:16:20,731 Fine, Barney. I mean, um, fine, stranger. 316 00:16:22,217 --> 00:16:24,281 Wow, you really are awful at this, aren't you? 317 00:16:25,948 --> 00:16:27,313 Get your hand off my thigh, Barney. 318 00:16:27,448 --> 00:16:29,992 It's supposed to look like we're about to hook up, Robin. 319 00:16:30,655 --> 00:16:32,290 You know I'm curious. 320 00:16:32,536 --> 00:16:34,712 What do you say to these girls to get them to come home with you? 321 00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:39,251 Usually I just lean in and whisper this one thing in their ear. 322 00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,920 You're a little turned on right now, aren't you? 323 00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:52,141 No. 324 00:16:55,775 --> 00:16:57,841 Look, somebody's watching us. Make your move to the bathroom. 325 00:16:57,946 --> 00:17:00,110 I'm going to go to the bathroom now, 326 00:17:00,217 --> 00:17:04,202 but, uh, when I come back we'll go to my place and have sex. 327 00:17:08,377 --> 00:17:11,490 Dude, dude, dude, look. Blonde girl heading over to Robin right now. 328 00:17:11,695 --> 00:17:12,683 We are go. 329 00:17:12,788 --> 00:17:16,540 I don't know what to do with my hands. What do I normally do with my hands? 330 00:17:21,447 --> 00:17:24,880 I brought a copy of the bracket. Which one is she? 331 00:17:26,797 --> 00:17:30,013 I don't recognize her. She's not on the Top 64. 332 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,750 Not even on the bracket. 333 00:17:31,855 --> 00:17:35,023 Wow, Cinderella Story comes out of nowhere to win the whole thing. 334 00:17:35,127 --> 00:17:36,651 That'll warm your heart. 335 00:17:36,757 --> 00:17:37,832 Are you okay? 336 00:17:38,987 --> 00:17:40,772 I don't even recognize her. 337 00:17:44,785 --> 00:17:46,512 I don't remember you. 338 00:17:47,018 --> 00:17:49,351 I've spent the last two days trying to remember 339 00:17:49,458 --> 00:17:51,701 every girl that I've slept with and all the horrible things 340 00:17:51,807 --> 00:17:52,951 that I have done to them. 341 00:17:53,055 --> 00:17:56,332 And I have done some horrible things. I mean, 342 00:17:56,596 --> 00:17:58,961 at one point, I'm pretty sure I sold a woman. 343 00:18:00,265 --> 00:18:02,241 I didn't speak the language, but, 344 00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:03,782 I shook a guy's hand, 345 00:18:03,885 --> 00:18:05,970 he gave me the keys to a Mercedes, and I left her there. 346 00:18:07,915 --> 00:18:10,013 I'm the guy who keeps a scrapbook 347 00:18:10,118 --> 00:18:11,951 of all of the women I have slept with, 348 00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,632 but I never thought I was the guy who would sleep with a girl 349 00:18:14,736 --> 00:18:16,401 and not even remember her. 350 00:18:16,505 --> 00:18:19,443 So from the bottom of my heart, for whatever I did to you, 351 00:18:19,548 --> 00:18:21,042 I apologize. 352 00:18:21,395 --> 00:18:26,360 Oh, Barney! Oh, I'm so proud of you. 353 00:18:26,748 --> 00:18:27,860 That's not her. 354 00:18:28,578 --> 00:18:30,173 - I'm so sorry. - What? What? 355 00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:32,561 Barney, I'm sorry, that's my friend Sally from work. 356 00:18:32,668 --> 00:18:34,010 We just ran into each other. 357 00:18:34,725 --> 00:18:36,370 So I apologized for nothing? 358 00:18:36,476 --> 00:18:38,720 Yes, but it was a great apology. 359 00:18:38,825 --> 00:18:41,291 And a perfect way to end my scrapbook. 360 00:18:41,398 --> 00:18:44,822 I'm going to call this photo "Barney's Redemption. " 361 00:18:46,276 --> 00:18:48,612 Could you stop giving me the finger? 362 00:18:49,678 --> 00:18:54,401 One shining moment You reached for the sky 363 00:18:54,587 --> 00:18:59,162 One shining moment you knew 364 00:18:59,265 --> 00:19:04,323 One shining moment You were willing to try 365 00:19:04,506 --> 00:19:07,283 One shining moment 366 00:19:07,386 --> 00:19:10,763 Eventually, Barney did figure out who the mysterious girl was. 367 00:19:10,868 --> 00:19:12,630 But more on that later. 368 00:19:25,024 --> 00:19:28,298 Sometimes we search for one thing but discover another. 369 00:19:28,404 --> 00:19:31,548 Even through I didn't find 370 00:19:31,653 --> 00:19:35,287 the mystery girl... 371 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:43,390 I did find out something 372 00:19:43,492 --> 00:19:46,907 very important about myself... 373 00:19:47,012 --> 00:19:49,930 Barney, come back to bed. 374 00:19:50,033 --> 00:19:52,390 You have a shuttle launch tomorrow. 375 00:19:52,702 --> 00:19:55,598 And that asteroid that's headed for Manhattan, 376 00:19:55,703 --> 00:19:57,858 it's not going to destroy itself. 377 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,447 I'm awesome.