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♪ Bah-hoo-yeah
Bah-hoo-yeah
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Bah-hoo-yeah
Bah-hoo-yeah. *
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Welcome back from the
dead, Chief Lazarus!
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I only got one thing on my mind.
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Revenge!
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What exactly are you here for?
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We need $40 million.
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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So we've shot a great deal of the
movie, and we're gonna show it to you.
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We just need a little
money to finish it.
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Yeah, see, we had a little bit of
a falling out with our financier.
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He's also playing Chief Lazarus.
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Just, we had some creative
differences with him, you know,
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which is why we're coming to you, but,
look, that's neither here nor there.
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The guy wanted to shoot a full
penetration sex scene and show it.
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But, to be fair, I don't have a
problem, as much, with the act itself
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- as I do with the man who's performing it.
- Don't get into that.
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- It's, like, more specific than she
needs to... - Let her know. I think she...
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Look, I just, I think that
no one wants to see Frank
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smashing genitalia with a woman, but if it
were me doing it, you know, imagine that.
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Wouldn't that be nice? Imagine all
the positions that I could get into.
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You know, reverse pile driver, seated
scissors, wheelbarrow, reverse cowgirl.
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- I know all the positions. Whatever
you like. - He can do 'em all.
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- I can do 'em all, yeah.
- He can do 'em all.
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So imagine that. Do you
see the difference?
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We don't finance movies here.
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Let's show her more of the movie.
Get into the story a little bit.
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Okay, that's exactly right.
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Keep watching, and then see the big
picture, know that there are budgetary
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and time limitations and
ignore them, please.
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Yeah.
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In your face, sucker.
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Oh, shit!
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Riggs, what the hell
are you doing here?
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Our relationship is strained.
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Thought I'd give you some
pointers on your jump shot.
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Noticed you weren't
squaring up on the basket.
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Schooling a black man on basketball.
You must be crazy.
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Crazy enough to want to know why
you never RSVP'd to my wedding.
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Gee, do I want to see my
ex-special forces ex-partner
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marry my baby girl daughter?
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Thanks. I respectfully
say, "No."
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I tell you what, Sarge.
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Let's play a quick
game of one-on-one.
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You score on me, you don't
have to come to the wedding.
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If I score on you, I don't
have to come to the wedding?
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That's right.
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So all I do is score once, and
then I don't come to the wedding?
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Yes.
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Well, this is gonna be...
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♪ A slam dunk!
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Break a leg. Hell,
break both of 'em.
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Heavenly Father, we thank
you for your glories.
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We also thank Martin for his
lovely sax solo in lieu of vows.
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Rianne will now recite hers.
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My love,
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when I look deep in your
eyes, I find my own destiny.
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I find that I want to love you for
the rest of my days, and I will.
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I will spend every
day of my life
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trying to make you the happiest
man in the whole world.
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That was lovely.
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If anybody has any
objection to this union,
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you speak now, or forever
hold your peace.
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- I object.
- What?!
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I need to do something first...
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get your father's blessing.
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I came here for my daughter,
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not you.
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I love her, Rog.
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Yeah. I know you do, pal.
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No!
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I love weddings.
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They always such a blast!
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- Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Got to get out of here!
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Oh! Oh, let me out of here!
Let me out of here! Oh!
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Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
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Um... I don't get why
you're making this.
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- Oh, I mean...
- Oh...
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God, the bank didn't
get it either.
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Why make anything, you know?
For the money, for the glory,
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- for the fame. All... the whole thing.
- Absolutely.
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Yeah, and-and clearly the
movie's pretty kick-ass
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right up until we get to
the special effects snafu.
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Our ex-backer liked to cut
corners, but we feel like,
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with your technical expertise, being
from a dot-com company and all,
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and your money, we could
really make a kick-ass movie.
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Yeah, now, the next scene is,
um, the next scene is bad.
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- The next scene is a little bit of a
disaster. - It's got some problems, too,
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but then, once we get past
that, it's pretty good,
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but let me set this up for you
so you're not totally confused.
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Somebody released some
kind of a biting bug,
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the likes of which I've
never contended with.
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Frank and I got them from China,
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and they just went crazy in
the bar and bit us up like...
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What do you mean you "got
them from China"?
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- You ordered them? - Don't worry about where
we got them or why we were getting them.
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- Jesus Christ. - We just released
them, there was an issue...
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All right, so you're
gonna enjoy this part.
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- Go ahead and push play.
- Yeah, yeah, keep it going.
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Hey, Chief, I'd
like to trade in...
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...these flowers for a badge.
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Well, I just happen
to have that gun.
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Welcome back to
the force, Riggs.
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- Murtaugh.
- Murtaugh!
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It's great that you're a cop
again, Rog.
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We'll n-need it.
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Well, I had to come back
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because they killed my baby girl as
you was getting married to her. Yeah.
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Looks like I'm not the only
cop with a death wish now.
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Ha!
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Chief, I think I found some clues.
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What the hell does those things
have to do with Chief Lazarus?
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- Well, I've got a hunch.
- Chief, I've got a hunch.
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See, feathers were usually used
in Indian resurrection burials,
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- which could only mean one thing.
- Damn!
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Well... That Lazarus
is back from the dead.
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Damn!
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You think?
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So he's probably planning an
elaborate rain dance to drench L.A.
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so bad that it ends
up in the ocean.
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Making his Indian reservation
the only thing left standing
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and very valuable
beachfront property.
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- That's could be the only answer.
- Yeah.
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Oh, oh. I'm just gonna
fast-forward for a minute.
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- Uh, but this...
- Yeah, this is important...
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I'll, uh, I'll play it here.
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Beachfront property on
his Indian reservation.
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- No, you're still going on about
the whole... - No, just keep going.
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- Yeah... yeah, yeah. - Well, you got
to explain every aspect of the movie.
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That's crazy.
131
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Well, that's because when you
go to the movies, you know,
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you can't follow
what's going on.
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- No, you can't follow what's going on.
- Yeah, yes, you can.
134
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No, no, you're like, "Who's that guy? Is
that the good guy, is that the bad guy?"
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Everybody knows!
I'm sorry, guys, um, but
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maybe it would help if I saw the
original Mel Gibson version first.
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- W-What do you mean that you've
not seen... - Wha...? How...?
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You've never seen...
Lethal Weapon?
139
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- Lethal Weapon?
- No, I mean, I've heard of it.
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I think what's happening here
is the fact that you're a woman,
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- and our demographic skews male.
- Well, um...
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It does... we are a male-
driven, uh, you know...
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- We're a male-driven entity.
- I-I got, I got that.
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Oh, oh, oh, the next scene.
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- Oh, yeah, yeah, right, right...
- Oh, the next scene.
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That's right, there's
stuff for the...
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- the ladies, I guess.
- Oh, for the ladies.
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- This is all for the ladies.
- You're gonna love this.
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- Well... yeah.
- You're gonna dive right in, right here.
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♪ I'd say it was the right time ♪
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♪ To walk away ♪
152
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♪ When dreamin' ♪
♪ takes you nowhere ♪
153
00:10:03,272 --> 00:10:06,206
♪ It's time to play ♪
154
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♪ Bodies workin' overtime ♪
155
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♪ Your money don't matter... ♪
- Yeah...!
156
00:10:11,379 --> 00:10:15,961
♪ Time keeps ticking ♪
♪ When someone's on my mind ♪
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00:10:17,869 --> 00:10:19,554
♪ Playing ♪
158
00:10:19,579 --> 00:10:22,283
♪ Playing with the boys ♪
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♪ I'm staying ♪
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00:10:26,176 --> 00:10:29,195
♪ Staying with the boys... ♪
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Yeah.
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All right.
163
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All right, blokes, let's
hit the showers, huh?
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- Yeah.
- Yeah.
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Oh, yeah.
166
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I don't know about you,
mate, but I'm sore.
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I'm really sore.
I really needed this.
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Oh, I needed it, too, mate.
All right, buddy.
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Now that we know what Lazarus'
plan is, what are we gonna do?
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We got to track him down
and fight him, you know?
171
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Sure do.
172
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We got to track him
down and punch him.
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We're gonna track him down and we're
gonna... We're gonna go to the strip club,
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which I'm excited to do.
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00:11:00,999 --> 00:11:04,865
- I love strip clubs.
- Oh, baby, I love me a good strip club.
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- We're gonna... I mean,
this is crazy, right? - Wha...?
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00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:09,726
I miss her, Riggs.
178
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Nothing's ever gonna
make me forget her.
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00:11:13,211 --> 00:11:16,620
I know, buddy. Lazarus has
taken everything from us,
180
00:11:17,036 --> 00:11:21,721
but we're gonna take what
he loves most: his life.
181
00:11:21,757 --> 00:11:23,211
Yeah?
182
00:11:23,305 --> 00:11:25,742
Well, we'd better do it
right this time, baby.
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00:11:26,404 --> 00:11:28,404
We ain't getting any younger.
184
00:11:28,463 --> 00:11:29,826
That's for sure.
185
00:11:29,851 --> 00:11:32,493
I'm starting to think even I'm
getting too old for this shit.
186
00:11:32,518 --> 00:11:33,774
Say what?
187
00:11:33,803 --> 00:11:35,390
Oh...
188
00:11:35,415 --> 00:11:36,915
- That's what you always say.
- I know.
189
00:11:36,938 --> 00:11:39,434
- I brought it back. That's your...
- Yeah, I got that.
190
00:11:40,129 --> 00:11:41,819
Whoa, shit.
191
00:11:42,405 --> 00:11:44,308
- Come here, you rascal.
- Whoa!
192
00:11:44,332 --> 00:11:47,293
- You want to wrestle, you...
- You want to go, old man?
193
00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:49,541
You young, but you ain't
that strong, baby.
194
00:11:49,562 --> 00:11:52,075
You want to go, old man?
You want to go, old man?
195
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,217
You too young for this...
196
00:11:53,242 --> 00:11:56,012
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is this?
What are you showing me here?
197
00:11:56,031 --> 00:11:59,808
We're showing you a testosterone-driven,
male-skewing action melodrama.
198
00:11:59,828 --> 00:12:03,131
- Yeah, you're gonna love this stuff.
- And, by the way, as a hedge fund manager,
199
00:12:03,155 --> 00:12:05,557
you're used to this kind of
high-stakes, adrenaline-pumping action,
200
00:12:05,575 --> 00:12:07,152
so this should be
perfect for you.
201
00:12:07,174 --> 00:12:09,955
- I'm a little confused.
- Oh, is it the character-switching?
202
00:12:09,992 --> 00:12:11,808
'Cause, just move
past that, all right?
203
00:12:11,833 --> 00:12:13,591
Trust me, our audience
has come to expect
204
00:12:13,616 --> 00:12:16,022
- that kind of thing from us. - No, no, no,
I'm confused about what you want.
205
00:12:16,063 --> 00:12:19,522
Uh, you need money to fund
your gay porno movie?
206
00:12:19,547 --> 00:12:20,963
- Oh, goddamn it, Mac.
- Gay porno movie?
207
00:12:20,983 --> 00:12:22,344
- What are you talking about?
- See? See!
208
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,313
- You even watching the movie?
- Yes, in a lot of ways
209
00:12:24,332 --> 00:12:26,324
- this is a love story between
two men. - No, it isn't.
210
00:12:26,341 --> 00:12:28,291
- Okay, yes, in a... most ways.
- No, it isn't.
211
00:12:28,311 --> 00:12:29,992
All right, but this is about
as masculine as it gets.
212
00:12:30,018 --> 00:12:31,949
- It's not, it's not, I mean...
- No, it isn't, no, it isn't.
213
00:12:31,978 --> 00:12:34,241
- You had a butt-double.
- Oh, of course I had a butt-double.
214
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,759
- You think I'm gonna show my butt
on camera, Charlie? - Oh, my God,
215
00:12:36,784 --> 00:12:38,900
I was uncomfortable
filming the scene.
216
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,001
If you play the movie, you'll see..
217
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:44,487
- It gets way straighter, I promise. - Push
play, you're gonna love this next part.
218
00:12:44,512 --> 00:12:46,795
We'll cut that stuff out.
See, nobody wants that...
219
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,505
I sure am glad we came to
this strip club, Riggs.
220
00:12:56,065 --> 00:12:58,638
I do like looking at
beautiful naked women.
221
00:12:58,683 --> 00:13:01,310
- That's because we're not gay.
- Right, right.
222
00:13:01,336 --> 00:13:06,677
Up next is Lady Starship. She's gonna
blow you away with her celestial body.
223
00:13:06,709 --> 00:13:08,953
Lady Starship...
I like the sound of that.
224
00:13:13,312 --> 00:13:15,281
- Man, what the hell!
- Oh, what the f...
225
00:13:26,099 --> 00:13:28,699
- That's more like it. Yeah.
- You like that?
226
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:29,880
I do, yeah.
227
00:13:29,903 --> 00:13:31,992
What are you looking at, man?
Shit.
228
00:13:35,994 --> 00:13:37,425
Frank, will you pay
attention, man?
229
00:13:37,454 --> 00:13:39,067
I mean, come on, we've
been all over town.
230
00:13:39,092 --> 00:13:41,964
We went to a hedge fund guy, a
dot-com girl, we went to banks.
231
00:13:41,983 --> 00:13:44,664
- No one's gonna fund this thing.
- No, we need to finish the movie, Frank.
232
00:13:44,688 --> 00:13:48,578
All right, I'll give you the money.
But we do the movie my way.
233
00:13:48,586 --> 00:13:52,220
I want... what I want.
And you know what I want.
234
00:13:52,239 --> 00:13:53,385
That's not cool, man.
235
00:13:53,410 --> 00:13:55,740
We can make it work, we'll just
have to add some exposition...
236
00:13:55,771 --> 00:13:57,534
- a whole scene of it.
- What needs to be explained?
237
00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:00,420
It's gonna be perfectly clear! It's gonna
be way too clear what's happening.
238
00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:02,064
Frank, it's gonna ruin
the movie, Frank!
239
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:03,617
It's gonna be so confusing...
240
00:14:03,641 --> 00:14:05,611
- It's not gonna be...
- It's not gonna be confusing.
241
00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:07,636
We got a deal or what?
242
00:14:12,511 --> 00:14:16,209
- Ah! Damn.
- Damn! They found us!
243
00:14:18,007 --> 00:14:21,318
- We got Lazarus trapped in
his own umbrella factory. - Yeah.
244
00:14:21,348 --> 00:14:24,829
He gonna do a rain dance and then make
some money on some umbrellas, man.
245
00:14:24,859 --> 00:14:26,531
He a dirty bitch.
246
00:14:26,683 --> 00:14:29,108
Come on, let's go get him.
247
00:14:30,150 --> 00:14:31,855
I'm gonna jump over this!
248
00:14:33,083 --> 00:14:36,242
Get over it! I got you, Riggs!
Hurry up!
249
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,926
- Oh, I'm getting too old for this shit.
- Come on, man!
250
00:14:44,362 --> 00:14:46,170
We're pinned down, Rog.
251
00:14:46,203 --> 00:14:49,723
This could be it, good buddy.
This could be the end.
252
00:14:49,759 --> 00:14:53,678
Okay, Rog, if this is the end,
we should be the ones to end it.
253
00:14:54,178 --> 00:14:56,607
You know what? I got this.
254
00:15:10,205 --> 00:15:12,205
I got that weird Danish twin.
255
00:15:15,163 --> 00:15:16,548
Oh, shit!
256
00:15:18,576 --> 00:15:21,366
Aw, damn! He got away.
257
00:15:21,944 --> 00:15:23,559
Oh, hey, you know what?
258
00:15:23,583 --> 00:15:28,037
We got to also remember to get that
shaman priestess from the beginning.
259
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:30,676
We don't want her bringing
him back from the dead...
260
00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:32,622
again.
261
00:15:33,363 --> 00:15:35,051
That's a good point.
262
00:15:35,286 --> 00:15:37,128
- Where's Mac?
- He's in the bathroom.
263
00:15:37,157 --> 00:15:39,157
Well, that's not gonna work.
I mean, we can't...
264
00:15:39,184 --> 00:15:41,884
- It's fine, just go, let's go.
- He's in the bathroom.
265
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,783
- He's in the bathroom. - Charlie,
it's not... we can't... I mean, it's...
266
00:15:52,679 --> 00:15:54,538
Oh, shit!
Rog, I'm out of bullets!
267
00:15:54,557 --> 00:15:58,674
You are? Oh, I'm out of
bullets, too, Riggs. Oh, no!
268
00:15:58,995 --> 00:16:03,488
Time to kiss L.A.
good-bye, suckers!
269
00:16:03,516 --> 00:16:10,033
'Cause tonight the
forecast calls for rain!
270
00:16:11,310 --> 00:16:14,371
- Riggs, there's a basketball right there.
- You should use it.
271
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,260
- I know.
- Wha... Oh!
272
00:16:17,623 --> 00:16:19,346
Oh, shit, Rog.
273
00:16:19,371 --> 00:16:21,647
If you make this shot, you
will have redeemed yourself
274
00:16:21,672 --> 00:16:23,853
with the item that you failed
with in the beginning.
275
00:16:23,878 --> 00:16:25,424
That is right.
276
00:16:25,535 --> 00:16:29,336
I can do it, Riggs.
: Ho-ho-ho-ho.
277
00:16:29,479 --> 00:16:32,337
In your face, sucker.
278
00:16:45,881 --> 00:16:47,909
Yeah, buddy, you did it!
279
00:16:48,259 --> 00:16:51,318
You did exactly what you said you
were gonna do, and now he's dead.
280
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:52,861
And now we have to
kill that shaman woman
281
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:55,924
so that she doesn't come back
and reanimate him again.
282
00:16:56,219 --> 00:17:00,376
Wait. I got a better idea first.
283
00:17:00,468 --> 00:17:03,020
- What is it?
- Let me just show you, man, will you?
284
00:17:03,045 --> 00:17:05,142
- We don't have to say everything, man.
- Shit.
285
00:17:11,778 --> 00:17:15,323
You know you always have
my blessin', partner.
286
00:17:17,985 --> 00:17:20,091
That's my partner right there.
287
00:17:20,711 --> 00:17:23,298
Yeah. And that's a callback.
288
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,461
From the beginning... so
it's come full circle.
289
00:17:25,491 --> 00:17:26,345
We know.
290
00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:28,601
And then we brought you
back from the dead.
291
00:17:28,738 --> 00:17:32,020
Well, the shaman did it.
And then we killed her.
292
00:17:32,825 --> 00:17:36,840
- Because we didn't want her to bring
back Lazarus. - Okay. We get it.
293
00:17:36,865 --> 00:17:39,564
Go ahead.
Kiss her.
294
00:17:42,247 --> 00:17:43,947
Kiss her, man.
295
00:17:45,205 --> 00:17:46,772
Yeah.
296
00:17:47,958 --> 00:17:49,783
Come on, man.
297
00:18:14,095 --> 00:18:18,535
One last thing, in case I die.
298
00:18:30,621 --> 00:18:32,621
Oh, my God! Oh!
299
00:18:37,079 --> 00:18:42,364
S-So again, this is what we were trying to
avoid by coming to you in the first place.
300
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:43,686
Yeah.
301
00:18:48,299 --> 00:18:58,299
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com