1
00:00:26,577 --> 00:00:28,378
(exclaiming)
2
00:00:33,202 --> 00:00:34,982
(school bell ringing)
3
00:00:37,362 --> 00:00:38,226
(Barney burps)
4
00:00:38,245 --> 00:00:39,479
(tires screeching)
5
00:00:41,379 --> 00:00:42,531
D'oh!
6
00:00:42,735 --> 00:00:43,835
(tires screech)
7
00:00:43,999 --> 00:00:45,406
Not again!
8
00:00:45,469 --> 00:00:48,337
(classical music playing)
9
00:00:57,066 --> 00:01:01,066
♪ The Simpsons 25x04 ♪
YOLO
Original Air Date on November 10, 2013
10
00:01:01,091 --> 00:01:06,091
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
11
00:01:17,966 --> 00:01:22,102
Now, I, Bart Simpson, shall send
the first coaster down the track.
12
00:01:22,158 --> 00:01:23,352
Hmm.
13
00:01:25,570 --> 00:01:27,083
(Milhouse grunts)
14
00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:30,275
(gasping)
15
00:01:32,491 --> 00:01:36,127
No, for once, I
want to go first.
16
00:01:36,142 --> 00:01:39,070
But, Milhouse, I already let
you push me on the swings.
17
00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:41,566
And it's an honor,
but I'm doing this.
18
00:01:41,588 --> 00:01:43,792
Ow! Knock it off, Milhouse!
19
00:01:43,827 --> 00:01:44,675
(grunting)
20
00:01:44,697 --> 00:01:45,352
(yells)
21
00:01:45,377 --> 00:01:47,924
Eat safety bar!
22
00:01:48,060 --> 00:01:50,235
(muffled):
Why are we best friends?
23
00:01:50,269 --> 00:01:53,000
Because your seat
was behind mine!
24
00:01:53,036 --> 00:01:54,698
(both grunting)
25
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,165
(groans)
26
00:01:57,979 --> 00:01:59,980
(both crying)
27
00:02:00,963 --> 00:02:03,581
Feels like this playdate's
gone on forever.
28
00:02:03,597 --> 00:02:04,828
I'll handle this.
29
00:02:04,851 --> 00:02:08,083
"Dear Weirdo,
pick up weirdo kid."
30
00:02:08,093 --> 00:02:09,578
And send.
31
00:02:09,628 --> 00:02:10,760
- Aah!
- (gasps)
32
00:02:10,785 --> 00:02:12,141
Did you eat a peanut?
33
00:02:12,168 --> 00:02:14,824
No, I just sniffed a nectarine.
34
00:02:14,855 --> 00:02:15,796
It's okay.
35
00:02:15,818 --> 00:02:17,956
I can breathe through
my tear ducts.
36
00:02:17,979 --> 00:02:20,823
(whistling)
37
00:02:20,854 --> 00:02:22,543
Tell me if this gets annoying.
38
00:02:22,574 --> 00:02:24,271
(whistling continues)
39
00:02:24,306 --> 00:02:27,611
I think I'm gonna throw up the
mac and cheese you fed me.
40
00:02:27,632 --> 00:02:29,088
I'm not supposed to have it.
41
00:02:29,141 --> 00:02:31,521
That's why I had so much.
42
00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:33,462
HOMER:
What the...?!
43
00:02:33,577 --> 00:02:38,221
If this kid's dad isn't here in one
second, he's going in the garbage can.
44
00:02:38,244 --> 00:02:39,811
(car honks)
45
00:02:40,604 --> 00:02:41,629
Hey, guys!
46
00:02:41,659 --> 00:02:44,601
Who wants a whiff
of New Kirk Smell?
47
00:02:44,646 --> 00:02:45,690
"YOLO"?
48
00:02:45,715 --> 00:02:47,332
You Only Live Once.
49
00:02:47,357 --> 00:02:49,738
Once again, cats have it better.
50
00:02:49,773 --> 00:02:53,892
Kirk Van Houten. I hope you're
not having a midlife crisis.
51
00:02:53,910 --> 00:02:57,317
Please. Just 'cause I bought a
new car, lost a little weight
52
00:02:57,336 --> 00:03:01,973
and started taking a DJ class, everyone
thinks I'm having a midlife crisis.
53
00:03:01,993 --> 00:03:04,818
Dad! You got me a skateboard?
54
00:03:04,837 --> 00:03:06,587
It's for me. Now
get in the back.
55
00:03:06,605 --> 00:03:10,002
And while you're there, use this
cream to massage the leather.
56
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:12,116
(leather squeaking)
57
00:03:12,421 --> 00:03:14,777
To the tooth-whitening kiosk!
58
00:03:14,824 --> 00:03:15,991
(laughing)
59
00:03:16,220 --> 00:03:19,911
I'm sorry, but does Kirk
know how silly he looks?
60
00:03:19,940 --> 00:03:20,965
Look at me!
61
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:23,555
I'm afraid of dying.
(laughs)
62
00:03:23,596 --> 00:03:24,734
Oh, Homie.
63
00:03:24,754 --> 00:03:29,112
I'm so glad you're happy with
your life just the way it is.
64
00:03:29,131 --> 00:03:34,533
You've had the same job, same
car, same house for 20 years.
65
00:03:34,555 --> 00:03:36,756
And that's all
you'll ever have.
66
00:03:36,787 --> 00:03:41,832
A cycle you'll never
ever, ever, ever, ever,
67
00:03:41,857 --> 00:03:43,649
ever change.
68
00:03:43,670 --> 00:03:45,716
And you're okay with it!
69
00:03:47,405 --> 00:03:52,032
Like I say night, after
night, after night...
70
00:03:52,222 --> 00:03:54,223
nighty-night.
71
00:03:56,471 --> 00:03:57,771
(birds chirping)
72
00:03:58,593 --> 00:04:01,382
Kent Brockman is here
for your interview.
73
00:04:17,229 --> 00:04:19,002
So, Kent, what brings you here?
74
00:04:19,027 --> 00:04:23,369
The miraculous tale of how we lost,
then found, our Lost and Found box?
75
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:26,633
Actually, Principal Skinner, I'm
here to talk about something else...
76
00:04:26,649 --> 00:04:27,615
cheating!
77
00:04:27,638 --> 00:04:28,938
(chuckles)
78
00:04:28,962 --> 00:04:30,650
I thought this was a puff piece.
79
00:04:30,676 --> 00:04:31,969
You're wearing a sweater.
80
00:04:32,444 --> 00:04:34,436
This journalism just turned...
81
00:04:34,467 --> 00:04:36,136
- gotcha!
- (gasps)
82
00:04:36,161 --> 00:04:38,390
That's right, Channel 6
will uncover the truth
83
00:04:38,415 --> 00:04:40,968
in a five-part series
two minutes a day.
84
00:04:40,992 --> 00:04:43,840
People, make room for your local
Emmy nomination certificates.
85
00:04:43,869 --> 00:04:45,288
No, do not make room.
86
00:04:45,305 --> 00:04:48,416
Except for Mr. Largo and his diet,
there's no cheating in this school.
87
00:04:48,464 --> 00:04:53,287
These 30 identical "What I Did
This Summer" essays say different.
88
00:04:53,317 --> 00:04:54,483
Um...
89
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:02,725
Myra, don't I have
another appointment?
90
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:05,555
Oh, this is your first
appointment ever.
91
00:05:05,850 --> 00:05:07,917
Let's take a look
at this monitor.
92
00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:14,043
This school is more corrupt
than the Italian parliament.
93
00:05:14,071 --> 00:05:15,463
If these children
are our future,
94
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:19,301
then I, for one, do
not want to live.
95
00:05:25,504 --> 00:05:26,771
NELSON (quietly):
Ha-ha.
96
00:05:28,274 --> 00:05:30,187
Please don't air this.
97
00:05:30,212 --> 00:05:32,187
I'll tell you the winners of
the kickball games in advance.
98
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,210
You can make a lot of
cabbage betting on K-ball.
99
00:05:34,229 --> 00:05:36,470
And that's what we'll
end the story with.
100
00:05:36,489 --> 00:05:38,031
No!
101
00:05:38,043 --> 00:05:41,337
This is Kent Brockman.
Pleased with himself.
102
00:05:41,394 --> 00:05:46,847
♪ You only live once
103
00:05:46,866 --> 00:05:50,793
♪ Or so it seems
104
00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:54,299
♪ No life for yourself
105
00:05:54,328 --> 00:05:59,554
♪ And none for your dreams
106
00:06:00,544 --> 00:06:05,413
♪ You work every day
107
00:06:06,110 --> 00:06:10,388
♪ At a job so lame
108
00:06:10,857 --> 00:06:13,621
♪ And every night
109
00:06:13,637 --> 00:06:17,772
♪ The ending's the same.
110
00:06:17,803 --> 00:06:20,780
♪ No dream will come true
111
00:06:20,806 --> 00:06:26,256
♪ You only live once
112
00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:27,344
(deep breath)
113
00:06:27,365 --> 00:06:30,224
(crying to the tune of
"You Only Live Twice")
114
00:06:33,221 --> 00:06:35,455
(higher-pitched crying)
115
00:06:36,041 --> 00:06:38,491
Yeah, well, at least you
got your health, huh?
116
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,688
Now let's see if I can
take that away from you.
117
00:06:41,491 --> 00:06:43,197
Your poison.
118
00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:44,077
(groans)
119
00:06:44,102 --> 00:06:46,365
I'm tired of living once.
120
00:06:46,441 --> 00:06:50,947
I can't believe I'm saying this, but
I'm starting to regret saying "YOLO."
121
00:06:50,967 --> 00:06:53,224
Marge, if you don't mind,
I'm gonna quit complaining
122
00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:56,504
about my life and start
wallowing in the past.
123
00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,981
Postage, marked in pesetas?
124
00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:00,403
Who are those letters from?
125
00:07:00,444 --> 00:07:02,488
My old pen pal from Spain.
126
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:03,980
- Eduardo.
MARGE: Hmm.
127
00:07:04,033 --> 00:07:07,410
Back in fifth grade, you either had to
write to a foreigner or a prisoner.
128
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:10,679
I picked a foreigner because the
prisoners wrote back too fast.
129
00:07:10,717 --> 00:07:14,055
We'd write each other with
our dreams of the future.
130
00:07:14,141 --> 00:07:16,741
I was gonna be King of
Cheeseburger Mountain.
131
00:07:16,759 --> 00:07:17,922
(sighs)
132
00:07:18,008 --> 00:07:22,104
Did I change or did they stop making
mountains out of cheeseburgers?
133
00:07:22,122 --> 00:07:24,492
Probably a little bit of both.
134
00:07:25,268 --> 00:07:27,479
So sad.
135
00:07:29,784 --> 00:07:32,052
(indistinct chatter)
136
00:07:32,199 --> 00:07:34,266
(overlapping chatter)
137
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:38,918
What kind of moral example
is this dump for my boy?
138
00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:40,303
(burps)
139
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:41,543
(crowd clamoring)
140
00:07:41,570 --> 00:07:43,314
Please, calm down, everyone.
141
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,572
You know, maybe this
so-called cheating scandal
142
00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:47,964
is actually an
opportunity to, uh...
143
00:07:47,979 --> 00:07:48,735
(clears throat)
144
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,823
...initiate a-a dialogue
145
00:07:50,853 --> 00:07:53,815
that would, uh, create
a teachable moment.
146
00:07:53,847 --> 00:07:58,129
Uh, something,
something buzz word...
147
00:07:58,150 --> 00:07:59,325
I got nothing.
148
00:07:59,991 --> 00:08:01,791
Quick, get a picture
for the yearbook!
149
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:02,791
(crowd clamoring)
150
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,665
LISA:
I have a solution!
151
00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:08,493
You took your sweet time
coming to our rescue, Lisa.
152
00:08:08,515 --> 00:08:13,020
Maybe the best way to keep students from
cheating is to trust them not to cheat.
153
00:08:13,038 --> 00:08:14,639
(crowd murmuring)
154
00:08:14,709 --> 00:08:16,285
That's it?
That's all you've got?
155
00:08:16,303 --> 00:08:18,341
Something I can
read on a tea box?
156
00:08:18,355 --> 00:08:21,934
What I'm suggesting is
we create an honor code.
157
00:08:21,963 --> 00:08:24,364
Oh, swell, more work
for the teachers.
158
00:08:24,381 --> 00:08:25,849
The students would do it.
159
00:08:25,861 --> 00:08:27,249
Let her speak!
160
00:08:27,267 --> 00:08:32,502
If every student pledges not to
cheat, and to turn in any cheater,
161
00:08:32,514 --> 00:08:36,682
no one will cheat the system
because they'll be the system.
162
00:08:37,293 --> 00:08:40,596
ALL (chanting):
Honor code! Honor code!
163
00:08:41,408 --> 00:08:43,917
I did it. I saved the day.
164
00:08:43,938 --> 00:08:47,238
The same way I won that battle
in Vietnam. By fainting!
165
00:08:47,256 --> 00:08:48,661
(doorbell rings)
166
00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:51,716
If you're my wife's
secret lover, come in.
167
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:54,140
There's nothing I can
do for her anymore.
168
00:08:54,174 --> 00:08:56,355
I am looking for my
amigo de la pluma.
169
00:08:56,373 --> 00:08:57,617
Or "pen pal."
170
00:08:57,654 --> 00:08:58,287
(gasps)
171
00:08:58,312 --> 00:09:00,506
Eduardo? Is it really you?
172
00:09:00,532 --> 00:09:01,925
Why are you here?
173
00:09:01,943 --> 00:09:04,447
To save the soul
of Homer Simpson.
174
00:09:04,486 --> 00:09:06,174
Now where is he, old man?
175
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:07,864
I'm Homer Simpson!
176
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,968
Ay, dios mio!
What has happened to you?
177
00:09:09,995 --> 00:09:12,303
(speaking in Spanish)
178
00:09:12,806 --> 00:09:16,313
Did your hair burn off in a fire
that trapped you in a candy factory?
179
00:09:16,332 --> 00:09:17,738
I wish.
180
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,301
Marge Simpson.
181
00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:29,596
It's so nice to meet a friend Homer met
through the mail who isn't a sea monkey.
182
00:09:29,627 --> 00:09:31,269
Yes, Eduardo Barcelona.
183
00:09:31,291 --> 00:09:33,347
Or in English, Eddie Miami.
184
00:09:33,367 --> 00:09:36,668
Homie, I thought a visit from your
old pen pal would cheer you up.
185
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:39,143
Ah, how eagerly I would
wait for a letter
186
00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:42,198
from the EstadosUnidos,
and Homer Simpson.
187
00:09:44,076 --> 00:09:46,221
HOMER:
"Buenos días, Eduardo."
188
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,933
HOMER (continues):
189
00:09:49,842 --> 00:09:51,438
(chuckles)
190
00:09:51,802 --> 00:09:53,490
What happened to us, Eduardo?
191
00:09:53,508 --> 00:09:56,272
We had so many things
we were going to do.
192
00:09:56,308 --> 00:09:58,527
And I, my friend,
have been doing them.
193
00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:01,628
Yeah, well, listen, pal.
I have my treasure--
194
00:10:01,652 --> 00:10:03,908
my wife and my children.
195
00:10:03,964 --> 00:10:05,220
Ooh!
196
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,988
I've had eight wives
and 200 children!
197
00:10:08,034 --> 00:10:11,340
Among them artists, doctors
and revolutionary chefs.
198
00:10:11,370 --> 00:10:14,808
Do you have a disrespectful son
who calls you by your first name?
199
00:10:14,839 --> 00:10:17,008
I cannot imagine
such a creature.
200
00:10:17,036 --> 00:10:18,730
Hey, Homer.
Did you just fart?
201
00:10:18,775 --> 00:10:21,077
Did you just fart, sir.
202
00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:22,065
BART:
Whatever.
203
00:10:22,081 --> 00:10:23,543
Easy, easy, Homer.
204
00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:27,030
I want to help you fulfill
some of your childhood dreams.
205
00:10:27,063 --> 00:10:28,793
Really? Now?
206
00:10:28,819 --> 00:10:30,550
I have two pizzas coming.
207
00:10:30,590 --> 00:10:32,565
I wanted to see who
would get here first.
208
00:10:32,587 --> 00:10:34,893
Now, Homer! Get your coat.
209
00:10:34,915 --> 00:10:36,783
I asked him here
to cheer you up.
210
00:10:36,798 --> 00:10:38,387
But I didn't think
you'd drop everything
211
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:42,437
to go gallivanting with
some, no offense, Spaniard.
212
00:10:42,891 --> 00:10:44,579
I promise you one thing, madam.
213
00:10:44,607 --> 00:10:47,005
When I return your
husband, he will be happy,
214
00:10:47,024 --> 00:10:50,311
bringing a new sense of
adventure to your marriage...
215
00:10:50,347 --> 00:10:51,991
and to the bedroom.
216
00:10:52,016 --> 00:10:53,192
(panting)
217
00:10:53,242 --> 00:10:56,961
I'm not used to strange men saying
the word "bedroom" around me.
218
00:10:56,973 --> 00:10:59,231
Would you prefer, uh,
"sala deamor"?
219
00:10:59,256 --> 00:11:00,660
That's even worse.
220
00:11:00,704 --> 00:11:03,173
- Could you say it one more time?
- Sala de amor.
221
00:11:03,195 --> 00:11:05,863
(gasps) Ooh!
222
00:11:07,126 --> 00:11:08,193
Hello, children.
223
00:11:08,220 --> 00:11:12,357
I hold before you a copy of
the school's new honor code.
224
00:11:12,379 --> 00:11:13,346
(all groaning)
225
00:11:13,367 --> 00:11:16,768
I know if I can get the toughest
kid in class to sign it,
226
00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:18,324
the rest of you will sign it.
227
00:11:18,369 --> 00:11:19,786
Milhouse?
228
00:11:22,918 --> 00:11:25,269
- (grunts)
- He's not the toughest kid, I am!
229
00:11:25,308 --> 00:11:27,158
Mm-hmm!
230
00:11:27,371 --> 00:11:29,196
Now, the smartest kid.
231
00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:30,587
Milhouse?
232
00:11:30,678 --> 00:11:32,511
He's not the smartest kid.
233
00:11:32,530 --> 00:11:34,103
I am.
234
00:11:35,724 --> 00:11:38,287
Now the class nerd.
235
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,021
Milhouse?
236
00:11:40,976 --> 00:11:42,664
(sighs): Oh.
237
00:11:44,962 --> 00:11:46,321
(snickers)
238
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,329
Homer, are you prepared to achieve
the dreams of a ten year old?
239
00:11:51,349 --> 00:11:54,528
I took the liberty of crossing
off the, uh, stupid ones.
240
00:11:56,709 --> 00:12:01,129
Now, this book of your childhood
drawings will come to life.
241
00:12:01,308 --> 00:12:02,896
Why are you doing this?
242
00:12:02,914 --> 00:12:05,318
Wait, are you in love with me?
243
00:12:05,352 --> 00:12:07,777
In love with the
concept of you, yes.
244
00:12:07,813 --> 00:12:11,726
Woo-hoo! I'm an attractive
concept like Liberty!
245
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,808
(siren wailing)
246
00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:17,829
(tires screech)
247
00:12:17,925 --> 00:12:19,659
One more ride?
248
00:12:20,182 --> 00:12:21,463
All right.
249
00:12:21,487 --> 00:12:23,526
Don't forget to ring the bell.
250
00:12:23,551 --> 00:12:24,894
(bell ringing)
251
00:12:27,144 --> 00:12:29,153
(laughing, grunting)
252
00:12:29,205 --> 00:12:33,019
I'm sick of pirates off the
street ruining my play!
253
00:12:33,063 --> 00:12:35,666
I'm going back to my old career!
254
00:12:36,483 --> 00:12:37,884
Care to see a dessert menu?
255
00:12:37,899 --> 00:12:40,594
We have the best cobbler
since Daniel Day-Lewis.
256
00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:48,469
How much did this
cost to restage?
257
00:12:48,485 --> 00:12:51,813
They rented everything from
Comic Book Guy for ten bucks.
258
00:12:52,783 --> 00:12:54,881
Don't stink up the Gorn head.
259
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:57,295
I need it for a Bar
Mitzvah later.
260
00:12:57,346 --> 00:12:58,613
(birds chirping)
261
00:12:58,704 --> 00:13:02,745
Now don't forget, this is the first
exam under the new honor code.
262
00:13:02,875 --> 00:13:05,135
They're doing it. They're
self-proctoring.
263
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:07,641
Can't you say anything
in a normal way?
264
00:13:07,665 --> 00:13:10,480
The answer, sadly, is not yes.
265
00:13:10,549 --> 00:13:11,850
(crickets trilling)
266
00:13:12,983 --> 00:13:15,740
I don't know what it is about
having all my dreams fulfilled,
267
00:13:15,764 --> 00:13:17,452
but I feel great!
268
00:13:17,488 --> 00:13:20,057
Oh, if you're happy I'm happy.
269
00:13:20,089 --> 00:13:21,919
What? That doesn't sound happy.
270
00:13:21,936 --> 00:13:24,585
I feel kind of, oh...
271
00:13:24,709 --> 00:13:26,272
melancholy.
272
00:13:26,331 --> 00:13:29,109
Mmm, melon collie.
273
00:13:29,134 --> 00:13:30,078
(barking)
274
00:13:30,119 --> 00:13:31,882
That's not helping.
275
00:13:32,252 --> 00:13:34,665
Well, what was your
childhood dream?
276
00:13:34,694 --> 00:13:36,113
Jumping on the bed.
277
00:13:36,132 --> 00:13:37,994
But I never disobeyed
my parents.
278
00:13:38,019 --> 00:13:40,932
- Till I married you.
- Let's do it.
279
00:13:40,964 --> 00:13:45,095
Oh, I'm a little tired. Could
we just snuggle again?
280
00:13:45,107 --> 00:13:48,780
We do that every night!
Come on! Jump on the bed
281
00:13:49,792 --> 00:13:52,828
- (Homer giggling)
- Ooh, okay!
282
00:13:52,844 --> 00:13:54,745
(both laughing)
283
00:13:55,071 --> 00:13:56,216
Can I help you, stranger?
284
00:13:56,246 --> 00:13:58,667
I am just watching
my friend and his wife
285
00:13:58,692 --> 00:14:00,956
innocently pleasure
themselves in bed.
286
00:14:00,981 --> 00:14:03,731
That sounds salty,
but you seem sweet.
287
00:14:03,754 --> 00:14:05,688
I'm gonna call you Kettle Corn.
288
00:14:08,964 --> 00:14:11,718
Eduardo, I haven't felt
this good in years.
289
00:14:11,736 --> 00:14:13,810
You're like the Tooth Fairy.
290
00:14:13,878 --> 00:14:16,156
Except you don't collect
human bones.
291
00:14:16,182 --> 00:14:18,623
Yes, yes. Of course I don't.
292
00:14:20,071 --> 00:14:21,596
- Here.
- So, that's it?
293
00:14:21,617 --> 00:14:24,025
All my dreams, lived?
294
00:14:24,049 --> 00:14:25,673
Eh... all but one.
295
00:14:25,691 --> 00:14:26,910
Well, we've got to do it!
296
00:14:26,928 --> 00:14:28,885
I never leave a job unfinished.
297
00:14:28,903 --> 00:14:32,677
It's as true now as that week I
worked on the high school yearbook.
298
00:14:32,696 --> 00:14:35,308
So much infighting. I had
to get out of there.
299
00:14:35,351 --> 00:14:38,170
All right, Homer, we
shall do this thing.
300
00:14:38,185 --> 00:14:43,124
The editor put in like six pictures of
this girl 'cause she was his girlfriend.
301
00:14:43,197 --> 00:14:46,025
Everyone has a bad yearbook story.
They spelled my name wrong!
302
00:14:46,037 --> 00:14:47,887
- Get over it! Ha!
- D'oh!
303
00:14:47,905 --> 00:14:50,621
(propellers churning)
304
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,668
So don't do what I did.
305
00:14:52,685 --> 00:14:55,184
That concludes our safety video.
306
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:56,672
(grunts)
307
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:02,773
Just step out that door and you can glide
to earth like your boyhood hero...
308
00:15:02,808 --> 00:15:05,262
Rocky the Flying Squirrel.
309
00:15:06,596 --> 00:15:11,461
Uh, actually, my hero was the
actress who provided Rocky's voice,
310
00:15:11,486 --> 00:15:12,705
June Foray.
311
00:15:12,723 --> 00:15:15,205
A true legend in the
voice-over community.
312
00:15:15,217 --> 00:15:18,643
I'm just gonna stay on the plane
and think about her influence.
313
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:21,411
She has lived her life.
Now, you must live yours.
314
00:15:21,423 --> 00:15:23,223
- No!
- Do not worry!
315
00:15:23,246 --> 00:15:25,459
I will follow the
trail of your fear!
316
00:15:25,490 --> 00:15:26,490
(Homer yells)
317
00:15:26,761 --> 00:15:27,901
ANNOUNCER:
Will Homer make it?
318
00:15:27,919 --> 00:15:32,229
Or will he leave a crater the size of
the one that destroyed the Yucatan?
319
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:34,779
Find out in our next
exciting installment:
320
00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:35,978
Fat Splat...
321
00:15:35,990 --> 00:15:38,784
or When You Squish Upon a Car.
322
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:44,784
Mmm, it's amazing.
323
00:15:44,801 --> 00:15:48,504
Every day has the peace and
serenity of a flu outbreak.
324
00:15:48,522 --> 00:15:49,298
(laughs)
325
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,904
Guess I'll be getting some
extra credit for this.
326
00:15:52,097 --> 00:15:55,078
Lisa, I'm afraid you've gotten all
the extra credit we can give out.
327
00:15:55,092 --> 00:15:57,594
So Willie has been
growing you a nice pumpkin.
328
00:15:57,622 --> 00:15:59,009
Here it is, lass.
329
00:15:59,022 --> 00:16:02,303
You want me to carve it
into a thank-o'-lantern?
330
00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:03,484
No, this is good.
331
00:16:05,134 --> 00:16:08,176
Well, this knife's got
to carve something.
332
00:16:08,196 --> 00:16:10,197
(menacing music playing)
333
00:16:12,322 --> 00:16:13,983
(grunting)
334
00:16:14,019 --> 00:16:14,757
Homer!
335
00:16:14,790 --> 00:16:16,556
(grunts thrice)
336
00:16:16,579 --> 00:16:18,089
You don't have to flap.
337
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:20,098
Just glide on the wind.
338
00:16:20,116 --> 00:16:21,994
Uh, okay.
339
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:23,895
Flap! Flap! Flap!
Flap! Flap! Flap!
340
00:16:23,924 --> 00:16:25,798
(grunts twice)
341
00:16:26,638 --> 00:16:28,991
Yes, good, much better.
342
00:16:33,904 --> 00:16:34,870
(groans)
343
00:16:34,887 --> 00:16:37,013
I got Bart's backpack.
344
00:16:38,352 --> 00:16:40,270
He got a hundred on his test?
345
00:16:40,284 --> 00:16:42,143
That's impossible.
346
00:16:44,858 --> 00:16:45,658
(gasps)
347
00:16:45,683 --> 00:16:47,358
Is Bart cheating?
348
00:16:47,389 --> 00:16:49,127
Are the Pope's
tweets infallible?
349
00:16:49,144 --> 00:16:50,801
(laughs)
350
00:16:51,096 --> 00:16:53,820
- Bart, I'm gonna tell!
- No, you're not.
351
00:16:53,851 --> 00:16:56,880
Because if you tell people I cheated,
that means your system failed.
352
00:16:56,915 --> 00:16:59,434
Oh, my God, you
found a loophole!
353
00:16:59,470 --> 00:17:02,368
Why don't you put this much
inventiveness into your work?
354
00:17:02,437 --> 00:17:05,001
Because then I'd be the one
thing I swore I wouldn't.
355
00:17:05,026 --> 00:17:06,000
You.
356
00:17:06,088 --> 00:17:07,936
(whistling)
357
00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:16,939
I'm doing it! I'm flying like the
squirrel I always knew I was.
358
00:17:19,950 --> 00:17:21,547
Ooh, indigo!
359
00:17:21,564 --> 00:17:23,348
- MARGE: Homer?
- (yells gibberish)
360
00:17:23,379 --> 00:17:25,979
It's me, talking
in your earphone.
361
00:17:26,038 --> 00:17:27,619
Come down, Homie.
362
00:17:27,638 --> 00:17:32,905
"You only live once" also
means when you die, you die!
363
00:17:32,999 --> 00:17:34,314
(cries out)
364
00:17:35,583 --> 00:17:36,784
What's going on?
365
00:17:37,159 --> 00:17:37,972
Hello?
(goose honks)
366
00:17:38,003 --> 00:17:39,951
Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?
(honks)
367
00:17:39,970 --> 00:17:41,345
Are you mocking me?
368
00:17:41,363 --> 00:17:43,626
You can listen to your
wife when you are dead.
369
00:17:43,644 --> 00:17:45,105
Savor the moment.
370
00:18:06,837 --> 00:18:08,856
Majestic eagle.
371
00:18:08,869 --> 00:18:12,767
Just like me, unashamed
of his baldness.
372
00:18:12,785 --> 00:18:13,830
(eagle cries)
373
00:18:13,855 --> 00:18:15,731
So beautiful.
374
00:18:15,744 --> 00:18:19,572
Aw, he probably sees a mouse
he wants to tear in half.
375
00:18:19,616 --> 00:18:20,691
(grunts)
376
00:18:20,723 --> 00:18:21,786
D'oh!
377
00:18:21,846 --> 00:18:25,059
Stupid tallest building
in Springfield!
378
00:18:26,391 --> 00:18:28,878
(grunting)
379
00:18:32,446 --> 00:18:33,893
Hmm... (grunts)
380
00:18:33,954 --> 00:18:35,955
(grunting)
381
00:18:39,334 --> 00:18:40,915
Ha!
Whoa!
382
00:18:40,935 --> 00:18:43,213
You've presented me
with quite a conundrum.
383
00:18:43,238 --> 00:18:47,976
A word you should know since it was
on a vocabulary test you aced.
384
00:18:48,008 --> 00:18:48,929
(giggles)
385
00:18:48,952 --> 00:18:52,777
But after some thought,
all my worries went away.
386
00:18:53,211 --> 00:18:54,604
I know the answer.
387
00:18:54,624 --> 00:18:57,672
I'm gonna force you
to turn yourself in.
388
00:18:57,699 --> 00:18:58,624
Good luck with that.
389
00:18:58,663 --> 00:19:01,690
The only thing that'll change
my mind is a sign from God.
390
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:05,245
(Bart grunts)
391
00:19:06,247 --> 00:19:08,773
Son, it was so beautiful!
392
00:19:08,828 --> 00:19:12,272
I went faster than
the speed of sound.
393
00:19:13,162 --> 00:19:15,670
(Homer yelling)
394
00:19:15,818 --> 00:19:16,726
(grunts)
395
00:19:16,752 --> 00:19:19,808
Well, Bart, is that
enough of a sign for you?
396
00:19:19,861 --> 00:19:22,174
All right, I'll turn myself in.
397
00:19:22,211 --> 00:19:25,486
It'll give me a chance to work
some more on the detention quilt.
398
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,774
(humming a tune)
399
00:19:28,058 --> 00:19:29,933
(all grunting)
400
00:19:29,965 --> 00:19:34,313
This patch is for all the
victims of atomic wedgies.
401
00:19:35,952 --> 00:19:38,016
My friend,
you've lived your dreams.
402
00:19:38,064 --> 00:19:41,133
No matter what, Homer
Simpson has done it.
403
00:19:41,161 --> 00:19:46,428
And soon I hope I remember who Homer
Simpson is and his relationship to me.
404
00:19:46,444 --> 00:19:48,171
But I have no regrets.
405
00:19:48,190 --> 00:19:54,123
In fact, all this has given me a
sense of calm I've never had before.
406
00:19:54,166 --> 00:19:55,561
That's the morphine.
407
00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:58,053
Can you give me the
morphine forever?
408
00:19:58,083 --> 00:19:59,194
No way!
409
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,524
A person on morphine
all the time
410
00:20:00,546 --> 00:20:03,019
would constantly dissolve
in inappropriate laughter.
411
00:20:03,044 --> 00:20:06,015
(laughs)
412
00:20:06,420 --> 00:20:07,721
(sighs)
413
00:20:11,237 --> 00:20:14,303
Eduardo? Eduardo! Eduardo!
414
00:20:14,340 --> 00:20:15,740
(grunts)
415
00:20:16,756 --> 00:20:17,938
Oh.
416
00:20:17,958 --> 00:20:20,284
It was all just a dream.
417
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:23,682
EDUARDO: It was not just a dream. And
you said you'd drive me to the airport.
418
00:20:23,718 --> 00:20:25,431
Oh, yeah.
419
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,532
Great. Um...
420
00:20:27,621 --> 00:20:30,763
Do I drop you at the curb or do
I have to park and walk you in?
421
00:20:30,801 --> 00:20:33,669
Go as far as your
heart will take you.
422
00:20:35,921 --> 00:20:37,799
You are a good friend.
423
00:20:42,795 --> 00:20:47,795
Captioning sponsored by 20TH CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
424
00:20:48,168 --> 00:20:53,339
♪ You only live once
425
00:20:53,547 --> 00:20:57,521
♪ But that's okay
426
00:20:58,030 --> 00:21:00,877
♪ You'll live quite long
427
00:21:00,902 --> 00:21:06,183
♪ In the USA...
428
00:21:06,934 --> 00:21:11,981
♪ But back to my point
429
00:21:12,266 --> 00:21:16,928
♪ You only live once
430
00:21:16,936 --> 00:21:19,637
♪ You've got years and years
431
00:21:19,659 --> 00:21:27,058
♪ Unless it's just months.
432
00:21:29,296 --> 00:21:30,602
Shh!