1
00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:05,407
-Hey, can I ask you a question?
-Sure.

2
00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:06,710
You've had this dart board
since I've known you.

3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:07,978
But I've never seen you play.

4
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,415
Oh, we played... once.

5
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:12,318
I broke a window.

6
00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:13,514
What window?

7
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,250
That one over there.

8
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:18,824
Leonard,
where are the Skee-Ball tickets?

9
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:20,158
Skee-Ball tickets?

10
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,561
Yeah, from when we went
to the arcade three years ago?

11
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,430
I finally decided what prize I want.

12
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:27,728
Hurry up.

13
00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:32,439
If I still have them,
they're probably in the junk box.

14
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:35,102
-Ooh, what are you gonna get?
-None of your business.

15
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:38,614
But when you see me wearing
a flower in my lapel later,

16
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,752
you are most welcome to sniff it.

17
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:45,450
-Yup, got 'em, here you go.
-Oh, thank you.

18
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:48,388
Here, get yourself an eraser
for your troubles.

19
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,358
Oh, I forgot about this.

20
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:56,231
My aunt made it for me
when I started college.

21
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:01,899
Aw, did she hate you?

22
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:04,865
Why? Because I got an ugly,
itchy sweater,

23
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,569
and my brother got a car?
No, I was her favourite.

24
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,145
Yeah, I seem to be
a few tickets short.

25
00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:11,780
Are there more in the box?

26
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,643
I think I got them all.

27
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,582
Nope, they're not in there.

28
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,653
Well, you barely looked. Let me see.

29
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:21,486
No, no, no, I looked, and...
No more tickets.

30
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,924
-Leonard, let me look in the box.
-Okay, Okay!

31
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:28,925
I'm gonna show you what's in the box.
but just... promise not to flip out?

32
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:32,764
Why would I flip out? ls it a spider?

33
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,166
It's a spider!

34
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:39,510
No, if it was a spider,
Lenny would've flipped out.

35
00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:43,614
Okay, Sheldon, I know I was supposed
to return this DVD a long time ago,

36
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,681
and I know we
rented it on your card.

37
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,841
But ifs been, like, seven years,

38
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,487
and clearly nothing bad has happened.

39
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:53,921
So instead of being a giant
pain in the ass, like you always are,

40
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:58,188
what if this onetime
you just tried staying calm?

41
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,694
That seems like a reasonable request.

42
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:10,540
Although so did, "Hoy, Leonard,
would you mind returning that DVD?"

43
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:14,478
I'm sorry. I'll take care of it.

44
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:16,879
Okay.

45
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:18,839
I mean it. I'm going to.

46
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,649
I believe you.

47
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:25,984
And you're going to stay calm?

48
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:28,181
I said I would.

49
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,388
How about that?

50
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,665
Sheldon's being reasonable.

51
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,862
Yeah, it's freaking me out.
I'm gonna go.

52
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:46,074
I (THEME SONG PLAYS) I

53
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:11,062
So... when you say

54
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,727
you're not going
to freak out about the DVD,

55
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,498
here's what that means.

56
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,074
Don't fixate on it,

57
00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:20,040
don't wake me up
in the middle of the night,

58
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,443
or nag me through the door
while I'm on the toilet.

59
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:27,342
Okay, first, talking to you
while you're on the toilet

60
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:29,783
isn't exactly a picnic for me either.

61
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:33,684
Remember, when you can hear me,
I can hear you.

62
00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:37,691
And, second,
you completely disregard

63
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:40,695
how uncomfortable
unresolved issues are for me.

64
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:44,358
It's like, an itch in my brain
I can't scratch.

65
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:48,762
When I broke my arm I used
to stick a coat hanger down there.

66
00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:53,938
You ever try that?
Maybe go in through the ear?

67
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,479
You wouldn't make jokes
if you could feel the way I feel.

68
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:58,946
Well, I don't know how to do that.

69
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,447
How about this?

70
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:05,385
I promise I won't pester you
about the DVD.

71
00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:09,994
You can defecate in peace.
That's a win for both of us.

72
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,493
But...

73
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,961
Until this matter is resolved,

74
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:15,498
I would like you

75
00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:17,328
to wear this sweater.

76
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,233
With nothing underneath it.

77
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:25,841
That's stupid. Why?

78
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,775
You say it's itchy and uncomfortable.

79
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,745
I say situations like this
make me feel the same way.

80
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:34,579
I'm telling you, try the hanger.

81
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,279
Put it on.

82
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,923
Let's share the experience.

83
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,457
You got it.

84
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,994
If this sweater shuts you up,
I'm gonna make a fortune

85
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,961
selling them to everyone we know.

86
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,459
Now all I need to do

87
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:52,831
is head down to the video store

88
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:55,006
and return the DVD.

89
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:01,368
Oh, did I forget to tell you?

90
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,812
That store went out
of business years ago.

91
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,446
Really?

92
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,680
How those nipples feeling, chief?

93
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,521
Penny, can we please get our drinks?

94
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:19,891
Yeah, hang on, just give me sec.

95
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,695
At work today, I did
an in vivo stereotaxic surgery.

96
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:27,395
Cool. At my lab, I performed
ten laser capture micro-dissections.

97
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:30,701
I scraped gum
off the bottom of that table.

98
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,708
Only because my manager
saw me put it there.

99
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:35,569
Oh, my gosh.

100
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:37,737
That's the girl
that broke Rajesh's heart.

101
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:39,008
That's Lucy?

102
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,482
I don't know why but I always
pictured her as Indian.

103
00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:43,678
I think that reason's called racism.

104
00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:46,546
I'm gonna go talk to her.

105
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:48,590
Why? What are you gonna say?

106
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:50,750
I'm not gonna say anything.
I just want to check her out.

107
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:54,888
Because she hurt my friend.
My Indian friend.

108
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,591
Who's racist now?

109
00:05:56,756 --> 00:06:00,203
You because you just called him
your "Indian friend."

110
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,438
Yeah, well, you're short.

111
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:08,174
We're never getting our drinks.

112
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:10,042
No, but we knew that.

113
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:12,942
Hey, can I start you off
with something to drink?

114
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,347
-Oh, water would be great.
-Okay.

115
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,350
You're Lucy, right?
I'm a friend of Raj Koothrappali's.

116
00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:20,957
Actually Amy recognized you.

117
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,798
Wow. How's he doing?

118
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:32,368
Oh, you know, he's good.

119
00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:33,526
Great.

120
00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:35,798
Yeah, this is none of my business.

121
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,909
But why did you break up
with him in an e-mail?

122
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,301
Oh, I don't know.

123
00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:43,311
I guess I thought it would be easier.

124
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,306
Yeah, I get that.
I'll go get you your water.

125
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,815
When you say "easier,"

126
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,582
you mean easier for you, right?

127
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,749
'Cause it certainly
didn't make it easier for him.

128
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,995
Any chance I can get
a different waitress?

129
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,155
I'm sorry, this is rude of me.
I will get that water.

130
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,335
See,see, see, see.

131
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,598
Just now you expressed
your feelings to my face.

132
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,298
How come you could do that
with me, but not with Raj?

133
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:12,670
I don't know your e-mail.

134
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,678
You know what the worst part is?
You're sitting here, perfectly happy

135
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:18,679
and he's at home, a blubbering mess.

136
00:07:18,838 --> 00:07:20,181
Oh, I thought you said he was okay.

137
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,150
I also said I was getting you water,
but look at me still standing here.

138
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,949
You know, I may be a bad waitress,
but you are a bad person.

139
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:31,186
Now, you want to hear the specials?

140
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:54,311
-80, you can never take it off?
-No.

141
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,544
Not even to sleep?

142
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:56,983
No.

143
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,986
So, you're just an idiot?

144
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:02,224
It's called proving a point.

145
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:04,191
Is the point you're an idiot?

146
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:07,164
Gentlemen, please.

147
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,858
Leonard is trying to walk
a mile in my metaphorical shoes.

148
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,163
He can't walk in my actual shoes.

149
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,033
He has the feet of a toddler.

150
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,167
So, how are you gonna return the DVD
if the store went out of business?

151
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:24,547
Monday morning I'll go downtown,
look up the owner's information,

152
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:27,207
send him the DVD.

153
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,749
Pay the late fee...

154
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:34,050
And prove to Sheldon
that you can have a problem...

155
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,750
And solve it...

156
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:39,990
Without acting
like a complete lunatic.

157
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,358
Ahh!

158
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:45,100
And the man impersonating a bear
would like everyone to know that,

159
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,431
Only you can prevent forest fires.

160
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:51,398
I don't get it.

161
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,738
You didn't have
Smokey the Bear in India?

162
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:56,540
No. Oh, is he anything like
Mun-Mun the Mongoose?

163
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,343
He taught us not to play with cobras.

164
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,522
You had to be taught
not to play with cobras?

165
00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:08,923
You had to be taught
not to burn down the forest?

166
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,200
If you guys were hungry, why didn't
you order at the restaurant?

167
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,102
We did.
You never brought it.

168
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,040
Oh, that's right.

169
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,873
Nachos and a turkey club.

170
00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:30,446
Not even close.

171
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,115
Well, I was too busy
standing up for my friend

172
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,981
to worry about your...

173
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:38,383
I want to say salmon.

174
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:40,388
You want to say sorry.

175
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:48,462
So, how are you gonna
tell Raj abut what you did?

176
00:09:48,621 --> 00:09:50,157
What do you mean "how"?
What's the big deal?

177
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,428
You told Lucy he was a pathetic mess.

178
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,469
Then you made her cry and leave.

179
00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:56,402
Okay, you guys are overreacting.

180
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,839
Raj is gonna appreciate
how had his back.

181
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:01,342
What is wrong with you, Penny?!

182
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:04,482
You ruined any chance I had
of getting back with Lucy!

183
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,149
Now she knows I'm a desperate mess

184
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,981
instead of just being pretty sure!

185
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,082
It's Lucy.

186
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:14,816
She wants to meet for coffee.

187
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:17,154
I love you, Penny!

188
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:24,500
Hey, what are you working on?

189
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,864
I'm thinking about
how one could use the fact

190
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:32,032
that a rapidly rotating mirror
turns virtual photons into real ones

191
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,769
as a method of observing dark energy.

192
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,504
That's a pretty cool idea.

193
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,478
Yeah. It's great you're here.

194
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,208
I'd love to get
an engineer's opinion.

195
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:41,443
Sure.

196
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:43,781
This chair is squeaky.

197
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,716
Now, do I fix it or get a new one?

198
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,797
Well, Sheldon,
it took me all morning,

199
00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:56,229
but I found the owner
of the video store.

200
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:59,063
And I am happy to report
that he died peacefully in his sleep,

201
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:00,898
drunk at the bottom of a pool.

202
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,408
Anyway, there is no one
to return the DVD to,

203
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:08,842
so this issue is resolved.

204
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,749
And I'd just like to point out that

205
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,716
even though the sweater
was uncomfortable,

206
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:19,721
I didn't use it as an excuse
to antagonize everyone around me.

207
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:23,088
You know, you could reimburse
the video store owner's next of kin.

208
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:25,661
Or it's resolved!

209
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:29,734
Hey, that next of kin thing
sounds pretty good.

210
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,234
I believe this is yours.

211
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:41,177
Can I ask you guys a question?

212
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,871
So, I'm seeing Lucy tomorrow night,
and I've never hung out

213
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,108
with someone who broke up with me.
How do you do it?

214
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:49,253
You can't let her know you're
hurting. The key is confidence.

215
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,548
Why is the key always confidence?

216
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,056
How come it's never
love handles and flop sweat?

217
00:11:57,584 --> 00:12:00,087
If this girl hurt you so much, are
you sure you want to see her again?

218
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,927
Well, if I may,
he has so little self-respect

219
00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:05,433
and is so desperate
for the smallest crumb of affection,

220
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,868
she could literally sleep
with his own father in his own bed

221
00:12:08,027 --> 00:12:10,701
and post the video to YouTube,
and he'd still buy her flowers

222
00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:12,774
and ask her to be his bride.

223
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,039
He's right.

224
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,953
But in my defense,
if we could survive that,

225
00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:23,644
we could survive anything.

226
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:27,625
Well, if you're sure you want
to do this, it's only coffee.

227
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,953
Just relax and see what happens.

228
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,826
-Well, can I say she looks nice?
-Sure.

229
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,488
Can I tell her I miss her?

230
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,497
Maybe, if she asks.

231
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,397
Can I show her
an oil painting I made of us

232
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,970
surrounded by our children
and grandchildren?

233
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,976
I'd save that for the second date.

234
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:48,806
Good, good,
'cause no matter how hard I try,

235
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:51,414
I cannot get the twins to lock alike.

236
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,012
What are you doing?

237
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:01,852
Oh, I'm just trying to find
the stupid next of kin

238
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:05,189
to this stupid video store owner,
so I can return the DVD

239
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:07,991
and see the look
on Sheldon's stupid face

240
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:11,260
when he sees that I didn't
let this get to me.

241
00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:15,094
Sheldon's not here.
Why don't you take the sweater off?

242
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:17,673
-There's a principle at stake!
-Which is?

243
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:20,367
Oh, I don't know.
Who cares? Look at me!

244
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,781
Oh, my God!
Is that sweater made of bees?

245
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:26,947
Come on, take it off. I won't tell.

246
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:29,177
No, no, honey, if I take it off,
Sheldon wins.

247
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:34,155
Sweetie, every night you don't
kill him in his sleep, he wins.

248
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,494
No, it's almost done.

249
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:41,188
I just... I have to find
the next of kin, and send 'em the DVD

250
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,459
and then just wait for someone
with my complexion to die

251
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,364
so I can get a skin graft.

252
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,865
Smile.

253
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:49,834
What is that? What is that for?

254
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,977
So you can send it to Princeton
and get your money back.

255
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:00,041
I must say, Sheldon,
you're handling this DVD business

256
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,844
with an impressive amount
of maturity.

257
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,647
I don't know why that surprises you.
I'm a grown man.

258
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,758
As should be evident
by this sport coat

259
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:10,656
and very real flower in my lapel.

260
00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:15,261
Is there some kind of new coping
mechanism you're employing?

261
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:17,924
The more interesting question
you should be asking is,

262
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,765
"What does this flower smell like?"

263
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,602
I'm gonna go with sad.

264
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,600
So what's the story
with you and this DVD?

265
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,440
There's nothing to tell.

266
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,206
Maybe I purchased a book entitled,

267
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,782
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

268
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:36,751
and I followed its wise suggestions,

269
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:38,946
stop and smell the flowers.

270
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:43,723
-Seriously?
-Please.

271
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:50,799
Haha!

272
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,301
-Hi.
-Hello.

273
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,472
-Oh, it's so good to see you.
-You, too.

274
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:06,773
Please, sit.

275
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,313
I got you a cappuccino.
I remembered it was your favourite.

276
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,477
I also got crumb cake,

277
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,724
but remembered
it was my favourite, and I ate it.

278
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,417
Anyway, how are you?

279
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:19,829
I'm pretty good.

280
00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:21,795
Listen, I just wanted to apologize

281
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:24,127
for breaking up with you
in an e-mail.

282
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:26,269
And I ate all the crumb cake.
We both made mistakes.

283
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:28,966
Okay.

284
00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:31,108
I'm so happy you asked me here,

285
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,301
and I hope we can hang out
again sometime.

286
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,140
You know, as friends,
lovemaking partners, whatever.

287
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,440
Oh...

288
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,644
I'm kind of seeing someone.

289
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:46,255
I think I know the answer to this,

290
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:49,291
but just to be clear,
it's not me, right?

291
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:52,695
This is all your fault!

292
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:55,822
I should've listened to Mun-Mun
because I've been playing

293
00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:58,025
with a cobra and her name is Penny!

294
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,167
Why are you so cruel?
Do you enjoy my pain?

295
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,332
There's a girl at the Cheesecake
Factory I can set you up with.

296
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,032
I love you, Penny!

297
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,377
How is it I can conceptualize
a methodology

298
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:14,540
of examining dark matter
in the universe

299
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,813
but can't figure out how
to fix a novelty squirt flower?

300
00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:20,513
I think the real question is,

301
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,661
why do you waste your time
with cheap, childish pranks?

302
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:26,124
There's probably a deep reason,

303
00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:28,322
which I'd be happy
to discuss with you

304
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,797
over some peanut brittle in a can.

305
00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:34,297
Okay, Sheldon, I am out of options!

306
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:37,464
Video store owner, Nursis Manookian,

307
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:38,870
has no next of kin!

308
00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:42,036
Well, you seem hot
under the collar...

309
00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:43,976
Or is that the sweater?

310
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:47,380
Oh, oh, no, no.
It's because I spent all afternoon

311
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,850
at the Armenian church
where his funeral mass was held.

312
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,818
According to Father Solakian,

313
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:53,423
no one attended.

314
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:55,320
Luckily, my trip
wasn't a complete waste.

315
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:56,721
I lit a candle
and prayed for your death.

316
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,329
But I'm not Armenian,
so it probably won't work!

317
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,256
This is over, right?

318
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,163
Oh, not necessarily.

319
00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:09,335
I suggest you look
for long-lost relatives

320
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:12,101
either in Armenia or Lebanon.

321
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:15,769
Listen to me, Sheldon.

322
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,846
I am not going to Lebanon

323
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:21,611
to return
Super Mario Bros. the movie!

324
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:26,746
Anyway, it might be fun.
You love hummus.

325
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,524
Why isn't this bothering you?

326
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:32,685
Isn't your brain getting itchy?

327
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:35,128
This is on your card.

328
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:37,393
This could be ruining
your credit score!

329
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,470
Why isn't this making you crazy?

330
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:43,567
Leonard...

331
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,300
I have something to tell you,

332
00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:50,310
but I want you to promise
not to flip out.

333
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:51,641
What?

334
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:55,084
Seven years ago,

335
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:58,154
I found out the DVD was late
and I paid for it.

336
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:07,958
What?

337
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:10,992
I was going to mention it
at the time,

338
00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:13,501
but then I thought, some day,

339
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:17,267
this might be a teachable moment.

340
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,150
Ahh!

341
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:43,533
But I...?! You...?! How...?!

342
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,032
What?!

343
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:53,143
Sheldon, that was diabolical.

344
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,301
I know.

345
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,281
And it wasn't easy.

346
00:18:58,437 --> 00:19:02,112
Do you have any idea what it's like
to wait for years,

347
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,879
and never know if you're going
to finally get satisfaction?

348
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,325
Wow.

349
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,159
You're even prettier than Penny said.

350
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,063
I can't believe a girl like you
doesn't have a boyfriend.

351
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:19,294
Well, I don't.

352
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,563
I don't believe you.
You're lying to me!

353
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,063
What?

354
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,642
It's okay. I have no morals,
and I'm desperately lonely.

355
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,870
I'll be the other man if you want
a little something-something

356
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:30,639
on the side.

357
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:36,810
What is wrong with you?!