1
00:00:02,668 --> 00:00:04,346
- Hey, can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
2
00:00:04,362 --> 00:00:07,143
You've had this dart board since I've
known you, but I've never seen you play.
3
00:00:07,167 --> 00:00:09,326
Oh, uh, we played... once.
4
00:00:09,538 --> 00:00:10,984
I broke a window.
5
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,946
- What window?
- That one over there.
6
00:00:15,425 --> 00:00:18,094
Leonard, where are
the Skee-Ball tickets?
7
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,081
Skee-Ball tickets?
8
00:00:19,105 --> 00:00:21,683
Yeah, from when we went
to the arcade three years ago?
9
00:00:21,698 --> 00:00:23,908
I finally decided
what prize I want.
10
00:00:25,681 --> 00:00:26,984
Hurry up.
11
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:31,405
Uh, if I still have them, they're
probably in the junk box.
12
00:00:31,424 --> 00:00:34,047
- Ooh, what are you gonna get?
- None of your business.
13
00:00:34,187 --> 00:00:37,764
But when you see me wearing
a flower in my lapel later,
14
00:00:37,783 --> 00:00:39,880
you are most welcome
to sniff it.
15
00:00:41,778 --> 00:00:43,226
Yup, oh... here you go.
16
00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:44,739
Oh, thank you.
17
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,570
Here, get yourself an
eraser for your troubles.
18
00:00:47,613 --> 00:00:48,782
Oh.
19
00:00:49,959 --> 00:00:52,457
Oh-ho. I forgot about this.
20
00:00:52,476 --> 00:00:55,593
My aunt made it for me
when I started college.
21
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:00,948
Aw, did she hate you?
22
00:01:01,893 --> 00:01:04,098
Why? Because I got an
ugly, itchy sweater,
23
00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,779
and my brother got a car?
No, I was her favorite.
24
00:01:07,584 --> 00:01:09,419
Yeah, I seem to be
a few tickets short.
25
00:01:09,439 --> 00:01:12,713
- Are there more in the box?
- Hmm, I think I got them all.
26
00:01:12,852 --> 00:01:14,851
Nope, they're not in there.
27
00:01:14,876 --> 00:01:16,725
Well, you barely looked.
Let me see.
28
00:01:16,755 --> 00:01:18,855
No, no, no, I-I looked, and...
29
00:01:18,895 --> 00:01:20,394
No more tickets.
30
00:01:20,633 --> 00:01:23,433
- Leonard, let me look in the box.
- Okay, okay!
31
00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:26,131
I'm gonna show you what's
in the box. But just...
32
00:01:26,677 --> 00:01:28,452
promise not to flip out.
33
00:01:28,563 --> 00:01:29,963
Why would I flip out?
34
00:01:29,987 --> 00:01:31,270
Is it a spider?
35
00:01:31,915 --> 00:01:33,412
It's a spider!
36
00:01:34,931 --> 00:01:38,344
No, if it was a spider,
Lenny would've flipped out.
37
00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:42,752
Okay, Sheldon, I know I was supposed
to return this DVD a long time ago,
38
00:01:42,764 --> 00:01:44,852
and I know we rented
it on your card.
39
00:01:44,878 --> 00:01:48,592
But it's been, like, seven years and
clearly nothing bad has happened.
40
00:01:48,613 --> 00:01:53,236
So in-in-in-instead of being a giant
pain in the ass like you always are,
41
00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:57,433
what if this one time you
just tried staying calm?
42
00:02:03,216 --> 00:02:05,439
That seems like a
reasonable request.
43
00:02:06,531 --> 00:02:09,977
Although so did, "Hey, Leonard,
would you mind returning that DVD?"
44
00:02:11,638 --> 00:02:14,157
I'm sorry.
I'll-Ill take care of it.
45
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:15,972
Okay.
46
00:02:16,972 --> 00:02:18,772
I mean it, I'm going to.
47
00:02:20,042 --> 00:02:21,488
I believe you.
48
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:25,764
And you're going to stay calm?
49
00:02:26,365 --> 00:02:27,980
I said I would.
50
00:02:32,525 --> 00:02:34,019
How about that?
51
00:02:35,979 --> 00:02:37,795
Sheldon's being reasonable.
52
00:02:37,814 --> 00:02:40,670
Yeah, it's freaking me out.
I'm gonna go.
53
00:02:42,053 --> 00:02:45,388
♪ Our whole universe was
in a hot, dense state ♪
54
00:02:45,413 --> 00:02:49,299
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
55
00:02:49,323 --> 00:02:50,572
♪ The Earth began to cool
56
00:02:50,596 --> 00:02:53,586
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
57
00:02:53,605 --> 00:02:55,502
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
58
00:02:55,527 --> 00:02:58,387
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
59
00:02:58,405 --> 00:03:00,418
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
60
00:03:00,445 --> 00:03:01,697
♪ Bang! ♪
61
00:03:01,722 --> 00:03:04,222
♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x08 ♪
The Itchy Brain Simulation
Original Air Date on November 14, 2013
62
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,750
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
63
00:03:07,552 --> 00:03:08,833
So...
64
00:03:09,208 --> 00:03:12,557
when you say you're not going
to freak out about the DVD,
65
00:03:12,601 --> 00:03:14,408
here's what that means.
66
00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:16,879
Don't fixate on it.
67
00:03:17,004 --> 00:03:18,942
Don't wake me up in the
middle of the night.
68
00:03:18,961 --> 00:03:22,483
Or nag me through the door
while I'm on the toilet.
69
00:03:23,543 --> 00:03:26,242
Okay, first, talking to you
while you're on the toilet
70
00:03:26,263 --> 00:03:28,691
isn't exactly a picnic
for me either, okay?
71
00:03:29,390 --> 00:03:32,696
Remember... when you can
hear me, I can hear you.
72
00:03:33,999 --> 00:03:35,155
And second...
73
00:03:35,189 --> 00:03:39,704
you completely disregard how uncomfortable
unresolved issues are for me.
74
00:03:39,801 --> 00:03:40,934
It's-it's like, a...
75
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:43,416
an itch in my brain
I can't scratch.
76
00:03:44,074 --> 00:03:47,825
When I broke my arm I used to
stick a coat hanger down there.
77
00:03:49,269 --> 00:03:52,343
You ever try that? Maybe
go in through the ear?
78
00:03:53,118 --> 00:03:55,701
You wouldn't make jokes if you
could feel the way I feel.
79
00:03:55,721 --> 00:03:57,900
Well, I don't know
how to do that.
80
00:03:59,536 --> 00:04:00,839
How about this?
81
00:04:01,295 --> 00:04:04,237
I promise I won't pester
you about the DVD.
82
00:04:04,281 --> 00:04:06,443
You can defecate in peace.
83
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:08,844
That's a win for both of us.
84
00:04:08,863 --> 00:04:10,188
But...
85
00:04:10,236 --> 00:04:12,445
until this matter is resolved,
86
00:04:12,472 --> 00:04:14,172
I would like you
87
00:04:14,198 --> 00:04:15,886
to wear this sweater.
88
00:04:18,854 --> 00:04:20,921
With nothing underneath it.
89
00:04:22,799 --> 00:04:24,770
That's stupid. Why?
90
00:04:24,870 --> 00:04:27,216
You say it's itchy
and uncomfortable.
91
00:04:27,246 --> 00:04:30,303
I say situations like this
make me feel the same way.
92
00:04:30,322 --> 00:04:32,465
I'm telling you, try the hanger.
93
00:04:34,026 --> 00:04:35,405
Put it on.
94
00:04:35,681 --> 00:04:37,631
Let's share the experience.
95
00:04:38,886 --> 00:04:40,276
You got it.
96
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,333
If this sweater shuts you up,
97
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:45,583
I'm gonna make a fortune selling
them to everyone we know.
98
00:04:47,171 --> 00:04:48,096
Now...
99
00:04:48,115 --> 00:04:51,306
all I need to do is head
down to the video store
100
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:53,854
and return the DVD.
101
00:04:57,468 --> 00:05:00,086
Oh, did I forget to tell you?
102
00:05:00,106 --> 00:05:03,275
That store went out of
business years ago.
103
00:05:06,659 --> 00:05:08,038
Really?
104
00:05:09,598 --> 00:05:11,608
How those nipples
feeling, chief?
105
00:05:15,351 --> 00:05:16,874
Penny, can we please
get our drinks?
106
00:05:16,892 --> 00:05:18,840
Yeah, hang on, just give me sec.
107
00:05:19,364 --> 00:05:22,152
At work today, I did an
in vivo stereotaxic surgery.
108
00:05:22,209 --> 00:05:26,015
Cool. At my lab, I performed ten
laser capture micro-dissections.
109
00:05:26,035 --> 00:05:28,517
I scraped gum off the
bottom of that table.
110
00:05:29,414 --> 00:05:32,104
Only 'cause my manager
saw me put it there.
111
00:05:32,789 --> 00:05:34,108
Oh, my gosh.
112
00:05:34,142 --> 00:05:36,243
That's the girl that
broke Rajesh's heart.
113
00:05:36,283 --> 00:05:37,491
That's Lucy?
114
00:05:37,516 --> 00:05:40,024
I don't know why but I always
pictured her as Indian.
115
00:05:40,042 --> 00:05:42,360
I think that reason's
called racism.
116
00:05:44,258 --> 00:05:47,120
- I'm gonna go talk to her.
- Why? What are you gonna say?
117
00:05:47,145 --> 00:05:49,242
I'm not gonna say anything. I
just want to check her out.
118
00:05:49,268 --> 00:05:52,659
Because she hurt my friend.
My Indian friend.
119
00:05:53,424 --> 00:05:54,973
Who's racist now?
120
00:05:54,996 --> 00:05:58,885
You because you just called
him your "Indian friend."
121
00:06:00,512 --> 00:06:02,692
Yeah, well, you're short.
122
00:06:04,909 --> 00:06:06,702
We're never getting our drinks.
123
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,693
No, but we knew that.
124
00:06:10,029 --> 00:06:11,824
Hey, can I start you off
with something to drink?
125
00:06:11,844 --> 00:06:13,244
Oh, water would be great.
126
00:06:13,271 --> 00:06:14,287
Okay.
127
00:06:14,551 --> 00:06:16,444
Um, you're Lucy, right?
128
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:20,023
I'm a friend of Raj Koothrappali's.
Actually Amy recognized you.
129
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,557
Wow.
130
00:06:28,584 --> 00:06:31,297
- How's he doing?
- Oh, you know, he's good.
131
00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:32,540
Great.
132
00:06:32,698 --> 00:06:35,323
Yeah, this is none
of my business. But...
133
00:06:35,407 --> 00:06:37,930
why did you break up
with him in an e-mail?
134
00:06:38,214 --> 00:06:39,830
Oh, I don't know.
135
00:06:39,887 --> 00:06:42,394
I guess I thought
it would be easier.
136
00:06:42,788 --> 00:06:45,450
Yeah, I get that. I'll
go get you your water.
137
00:06:47,644 --> 00:06:49,507
When you say "easier,"
138
00:06:50,436 --> 00:06:54,875
you mean easier for you, right? 'Cause it
certainly didn't make it easier for him.
139
00:06:55,075 --> 00:06:58,157
Any chance I can get a
different waitress?
140
00:06:58,563 --> 00:07:01,313
I-I'm sorry, this is rude of me.
I will go get that water.
141
00:07:02,869 --> 00:07:05,002
See, see, see, see.
142
00:07:05,027 --> 00:07:07,262
Just now you expressed
your feelings to my face.
143
00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:09,400
How come you could do that
with me, but not Raj?
144
00:07:09,432 --> 00:07:11,410
I don't know your e-mail.
145
00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:13,963
You know what the worst part is?
146
00:07:13,981 --> 00:07:17,419
You're sitting here, perfectly happy
and he's at home, a blubbering mess.
147
00:07:17,425 --> 00:07:18,719
Oh, I thought you said
he was okay.
148
00:07:18,728 --> 00:07:22,360
Well, I also said I was getting you water,
but look at me still standing here.
149
00:07:23,411 --> 00:07:26,577
You know, I may be a bad waitress,
but you are a bad person.
150
00:07:26,597 --> 00:07:27,764
Now,
151
00:07:27,789 --> 00:07:29,664
you want to hear the specials?
152
00:07:49,713 --> 00:07:51,757
So, you can never take it off?
153
00:07:52,408 --> 00:07:54,324
- No.
- Not even to sleep?
154
00:07:54,448 --> 00:07:55,749
No.
155
00:07:55,786 --> 00:07:57,368
So, you're just an idiot?
156
00:07:59,351 --> 00:08:01,213
It's called proving a point.
157
00:08:01,422 --> 00:08:03,291
Is the point you're an idiot?
158
00:08:04,244 --> 00:08:05,870
Gentlemen, please.
159
00:08:05,888 --> 00:08:09,924
Leonard is trying to walk a
mile in my metaphorical shoes.
160
00:08:10,009 --> 00:08:13,631
He can't walk in my actual shoes.
He has the feet of a toddler.
161
00:08:15,909 --> 00:08:18,863
So, how are you gonna return the DVD
if the store went out of business?
162
00:08:19,677 --> 00:08:23,415
Monday morning I'll go downtown
look up the owner's information.
163
00:08:23,442 --> 00:08:26,032
And send him the DVD.
164
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,442
Pay the late fee.
165
00:08:30,631 --> 00:08:34,819
And prove to Sheldon that you can have
a problem and solve it...
166
00:08:36,008 --> 00:08:38,221
...without acting like
a complete lunatic.
167
00:08:38,249 --> 00:08:39,778
Ah!
168
00:08:41,278 --> 00:08:43,316
And the man impersonating
a bear would like everyone
169
00:08:43,334 --> 00:08:46,254
to know that "Only you can
prevent forest fires."
170
00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:50,564
I don't get it.
171
00:08:50,772 --> 00:08:52,372
You didn't have
Smokey the Bear in India?
172
00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:55,752
No. Oh, is he anything like,
uh, Mun-Mun the Mongoose?
173
00:08:56,765 --> 00:08:58,965
He taught us not
to play with cobras.
174
00:09:00,633 --> 00:09:03,543
You had to be taught
not to play with cobras?
175
00:09:05,201 --> 00:09:07,834
You had to be taught not
to burn down the forest?
176
00:09:17,155 --> 00:09:19,846
Hey, if you guys were hungry, why didn't
you order something at the restaurant?
177
00:09:19,865 --> 00:09:21,726
We did, you never brought it.
178
00:09:23,905 --> 00:09:25,653
Oh, that's right.
179
00:09:25,677 --> 00:09:27,527
Nachos and a turkey club.
180
00:09:27,542 --> 00:09:29,202
Not even close.
181
00:09:30,892 --> 00:09:34,401
Well, I was too busy standing up for
my friend to worry about your...
182
00:09:35,020 --> 00:09:36,219
I want to say
183
00:09:36,246 --> 00:09:37,233
salmon.
184
00:09:37,251 --> 00:09:39,404
You want to say sorry.
185
00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:47,444
So, how are you gonna
tell Raj abut what you did?
186
00:09:47,468 --> 00:09:49,149
What do you mean "how"?
What's the big deal?
187
00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:51,288
You told Lucy he was
a pathetic mess.
188
00:09:51,304 --> 00:09:53,398
Then you made her cry and leave.
189
00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:55,124
Okay, you guys are overreacting.
190
00:09:55,146 --> 00:09:57,669
Raj is gonna appreciate
how I had his back.
191
00:09:57,699 --> 00:09:59,801
What is wrong with you, Penny?!
192
00:10:00,344 --> 00:10:03,447
You ruined any chance I had
of getting back with Lucy!
193
00:10:03,622 --> 00:10:07,976
Now she knows I'm a desperate mess
instead of just being pretty sure!
194
00:10:10,422 --> 00:10:11,816
It's Lucy.
195
00:10:11,849 --> 00:10:13,580
She wants to meet for coffee.
196
00:10:13,634 --> 00:10:15,710
I love you, Penny!
197
00:10:20,961 --> 00:10:23,064
Hey, what're you working on?
198
00:10:23,887 --> 00:10:26,704
I'm thinking about how
one could use the fact
199
00:10:26,729 --> 00:10:30,842
that a rapidly rotating mirror turns
virtual photons into real ones
200
00:10:30,870 --> 00:10:33,669
as a method of
observing dark energy.
201
00:10:34,085 --> 00:10:35,660
That's a pretty cool idea.
202
00:10:35,829 --> 00:10:39,242
Yeah. It's great you're here. I'd
love to get an engineer's opinion.
203
00:10:39,283 --> 00:10:40,327
Sure.
204
00:10:40,344 --> 00:10:42,416
This chair is squeaky.
205
00:10:46,383 --> 00:10:48,579
Now, do I fix it
or get a new one?
206
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:52,575
Well, Sheldon, it
took me all morning,
207
00:10:52,603 --> 00:10:55,159
but I found the owner
of the video store.
208
00:10:55,183 --> 00:10:57,823
And I am happy to report that he
died peacefully in his sleep,
209
00:10:57,844 --> 00:10:59,763
drunk at the bottom of a pool.
210
00:11:01,142 --> 00:11:04,209
Anyway, there is no one
to return the DVD to,
211
00:11:04,222 --> 00:11:07,683
so this issue is resolved.
212
00:11:08,062 --> 00:11:09,482
Ah...
213
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,687
And I'd just like
to point out that
214
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:16,230
even though the sweater was uncomfortable,
I didn't use it as an excuse
215
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,665
to antagonize
everyone around me.
216
00:11:18,691 --> 00:11:21,973
You know, you could reimburse the
video store owner's next of kin.
217
00:11:22,053 --> 00:11:23,970
Or it's resolved!
218
00:11:26,124 --> 00:11:28,697
Hey, that next of kin thing
sounds pretty good.
219
00:11:29,997 --> 00:11:32,204
I believe this is yours.
220
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,638
Can I ask you guys a question?
221
00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:41,578
So, I'm seeing Lucy
tomorrow night,
222
00:11:41,591 --> 00:11:43,859
and I've never hung out with
someone who broke up with me.
223
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:44,878
How do you do it?
224
00:11:44,890 --> 00:11:47,831
You can't let her know you're hurting.
You know, the key is confidence.
225
00:11:47,883 --> 00:11:49,902
Why is the key
always confidence?
226
00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:53,056
How come it's never love
handles and flop sweat?
227
00:11:55,533 --> 00:11:58,628
If this girl hurt you so much, are
you sure you want to see her again?
228
00:11:58,662 --> 00:11:59,632
Well, if I may...
229
00:11:59,650 --> 00:12:02,059
he has so little self-respect
and is so desperate
230
00:12:02,084 --> 00:12:05,674
for the smallest crumb of affection, she
could literally sleep with his own father
231
00:12:05,699 --> 00:12:07,619
in his own bed and post
the video to YouTube,
232
00:12:07,636 --> 00:12:11,427
and he'd still buy her flowers
and ask her to be his bride.
233
00:12:14,293 --> 00:12:15,546
He's right.
234
00:12:18,020 --> 00:12:20,230
But in my defense, if
we could survive that,
235
00:12:20,265 --> 00:12:22,011
we could survive anything.
236
00:12:23,604 --> 00:12:26,051
Well, if you're sure you want
to do this, it's only coffee...
237
00:12:26,069 --> 00:12:28,466
just relax and see what happens.
238
00:12:28,797 --> 00:12:30,480
Well, can I say she looks nice?
239
00:12:30,492 --> 00:12:31,349
Sure.
240
00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:33,087
Can I tell her I miss her?
241
00:12:33,113 --> 00:12:34,657
Maybe, if she asks.
242
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,319
Oh, can I show her an
oil painting I made
243
00:12:36,343 --> 00:12:39,010
of us surrounded by our
children and grandchildren?
244
00:12:41,741 --> 00:12:43,803
I'd save that for
the second date.
245
00:12:44,591 --> 00:12:47,244
Good, good. 'Cause no
matter how hard I try,
246
00:12:47,262 --> 00:12:49,538
I cannot get the
twins to look alike.
247
00:12:56,449 --> 00:12:57,374
What are you doing?
248
00:12:57,393 --> 00:13:00,280
Oh, I'm just trying to find
the stupid next of kin
249
00:13:00,305 --> 00:13:03,649
to this stupid video store
owner so I can return the DVD
250
00:13:03,670 --> 00:13:06,506
and see the look
on Sheldon's stupid face
251
00:13:06,518 --> 00:13:08,873
when he sees that
I didn't let this get to me.
252
00:13:11,396 --> 00:13:13,387
Sheldon's not here. Why don't
you take the sweater off?
253
00:13:13,403 --> 00:13:15,528
Th-Th-There's a
principle at stake!
254
00:13:15,546 --> 00:13:16,911
- Which is?
- Oh, I don't know.
255
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,715
Who cares? Look at me!
256
00:13:19,696 --> 00:13:22,532
Oh, my God! Is that
sweater made of bees?
257
00:13:23,561 --> 00:13:25,397
Come on, take it off.
I won't tell.
258
00:13:25,421 --> 00:13:27,485
No, no, honey, if I take
it off, Sheldon wins.
259
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,582
Sweetie...
260
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:32,168
every night you don't kill
him in his sleep, he wins.
261
00:13:33,889 --> 00:13:35,936
Nah, I-it's... it's almost done.
262
00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:39,390
I just, I have to find... the
next of kin, and send 'em the DVD
263
00:13:39,408 --> 00:13:41,914
and then just wait for someone
with my complexion to die
264
00:13:41,932 --> 00:13:43,710
so I can get a skin graft.
265
00:13:45,261 --> 00:13:46,717
Smile.
266
00:13:46,921 --> 00:13:48,302
What-what is that?
What is that for?
267
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:51,084
So you can send it to Princeton
and get your money back.
268
00:13:55,808 --> 00:13:57,164
I must say, Sheldon,
269
00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,689
you're handling this DVD business with
an impressive amount of maturity.
270
00:14:01,024 --> 00:14:04,208
I don't know why that surprises you.
I'm a grown man.
271
00:14:04,226 --> 00:14:09,410
As should be evident by this sport
coat and very real flower in my lapel.
272
00:14:10,390 --> 00:14:13,569
Is there some kind of new coping
mechanism you're employing?
273
00:14:13,828 --> 00:14:16,716
The more interesting question
you should be asking is,
274
00:14:16,736 --> 00:14:19,087
"What does this
flower smell like?"
275
00:14:20,771 --> 00:14:22,601
I'm gonna go with sad.
276
00:14:24,051 --> 00:14:26,151
So what's the story
with you and this DVD?
277
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,885
There's nothing to tell.
278
00:14:28,012 --> 00:14:31,595
Maybe I purchased a book entitled,
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
279
00:14:31,635 --> 00:14:35,210
and I followed its wise
suggestions, one of which was:
280
00:14:35,233 --> 00:14:37,192
stop and smell the flowers.
281
00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:41,780
- Seriously?
- Please.
282
00:14:47,634 --> 00:14:49,057
Ha-ha!
283
00:14:50,078 --> 00:14:51,553
Oh.
284
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,915
- Hi.
- Hello.
285
00:15:00,823 --> 00:15:03,404
- Oh, it's so good to see you.
- You, too.
286
00:15:03,494 --> 00:15:04,719
Please, sit.
287
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:08,009
I, uh, I got you a cappuccino. I
remembered it was your favorite.
288
00:15:08,036 --> 00:15:09,511
- Oh.
- I also got crumb cake,
289
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,925
but I remembered it was
my favorite and I ate it.
290
00:15:14,421 --> 00:15:16,356
Anyway, uh, how are you?
291
00:15:16,433 --> 00:15:18,233
I'm pretty good.
292
00:15:18,522 --> 00:15:22,210
Listen, I just wanted to apologize for
breaking up with you in an e-mail.
293
00:15:22,227 --> 00:15:24,956
Well, and I ate all the crumb cake.
We both made mistakes.
294
00:15:26,399 --> 00:15:27,530
Okay.
295
00:15:27,713 --> 00:15:31,940
I'm so happy you asked me here, and I
hope we can hang out again sometime.
296
00:15:32,550 --> 00:15:35,635
You know, as friends,
lovemaking partners, whatever.
297
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,786
Oh, uh...
298
00:15:39,081 --> 00:15:41,595
I'm kind of seeing someone.
299
00:15:43,386 --> 00:15:47,703
I think I know the answer to this, but
just to be clear, it's not me, right?
300
00:15:49,445 --> 00:15:51,221
This is all your fault!
301
00:15:52,006 --> 00:15:53,550
I should've
listened to Mun-Mun
302
00:15:53,572 --> 00:15:56,730
because I've been playing with
a cobra and her name is Penny!
303
00:15:57,923 --> 00:16:00,292
Why are you so cruel?
Do you enjoy my pain?
304
00:16:00,311 --> 00:16:02,390
There's a girl at the Cheesecake
Factory I can set you up with.
305
00:16:02,408 --> 00:16:04,815
I love you, Penny!
306
00:16:07,964 --> 00:16:10,537
How is it I can
conceptualize a methodology
307
00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:12,773
of examining dark
matter in the universe
308
00:16:12,798 --> 00:16:15,818
but can't figure out how to
fix a novelty squirt flower?
309
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:18,633
I think the real question is,
310
00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:22,221
why do you waste your time
with cheap, childish pranks?
311
00:16:22,452 --> 00:16:24,290
There's probably a deep reason.
312
00:16:24,315 --> 00:16:28,709
Which I'd be happy to discuss with you
over some peanut brittle in a can.
313
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,643
Okay, Sheldon, I
am out of options!
314
00:16:33,039 --> 00:16:35,618
Video store owner,
Nursis Manookian,
315
00:16:35,629 --> 00:16:37,397
has no next of kin!
316
00:16:37,459 --> 00:16:40,228
Well, you seem hot
under the collar...
317
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:41,912
or is that the sweater?
318
00:16:42,662 --> 00:16:45,595
Oh, oh, no, no. I-It's because
I spent all afternoon
319
00:16:45,614 --> 00:16:48,295
at the Armenian church where
his funeral mass was held.
320
00:16:48,314 --> 00:16:51,470
According to Father
Solakian, no one attended.
321
00:16:51,526 --> 00:16:53,520
Luckily, my trip
wasn't a complete waste.
322
00:16:53,539 --> 00:16:54,942
I lit a candle and
prayed for your death.
323
00:16:54,963 --> 00:16:57,652
But I'm not Armenian, so
it probably won't work!
324
00:16:59,857 --> 00:17:01,689
This is over, right?
325
00:17:01,713 --> 00:17:03,630
Oh, not necessarily.
326
00:17:04,219 --> 00:17:10,138
I suggest you look for long-lost
relatives either in Armenia or Lebanon.
327
00:17:12,378 --> 00:17:13,992
Listen to me, Sheldon.
328
00:17:14,045 --> 00:17:19,588
I am not going to Lebanon to return
Super Mario Bros. The movie!
329
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,508
You know, it might be fun.
330
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,132
You love hummus.
331
00:17:26,790 --> 00:17:28,791
Why isn't this bothering you?
332
00:17:28,822 --> 00:17:31,083
I-Isn't your brain
getting itchy?
333
00:17:31,465 --> 00:17:33,398
This is on your card.
334
00:17:33,448 --> 00:17:38,810
This could be ruining your credit score!
Why isn't this making you crazy?
335
00:17:40,515 --> 00:17:41,816
Leonard...
336
00:17:43,455 --> 00:17:45,530
I have something to tell you,
337
00:17:45,558 --> 00:17:48,398
but I want you to promise
not to flip out.
338
00:17:48,599 --> 00:17:49,985
What?
339
00:17:51,659 --> 00:17:53,265
Seven years ago,
340
00:17:53,290 --> 00:17:57,011
I found out the DVD was
late and I paid for it.
341
00:18:04,983 --> 00:18:06,440
What?
342
00:18:07,394 --> 00:18:12,168
I was going to mention it at the
time, but then I thought, some day,
343
00:18:12,803 --> 00:18:15,051
this might be a
teachable moment.
344
00:18:28,945 --> 00:18:30,850
Hah...
345
00:18:39,057 --> 00:18:41,516
I... You... How can...
346
00:18:41,923 --> 00:18:43,292
What?!
347
00:18:48,264 --> 00:18:49,720
Sheldon...
348
00:18:49,741 --> 00:18:51,602
that was diabolical.
349
00:18:52,433 --> 00:18:53,887
I know.
350
00:18:55,226 --> 00:18:56,537
And it wasn't easy.
351
00:18:56,562 --> 00:18:59,604
Do you have any idea what
it's like to wait for years
352
00:18:59,629 --> 00:19:03,019
and never know if you're going
to finally get satisfaction?
353
00:19:10,387 --> 00:19:11,576
Wow.
354
00:19:11,614 --> 00:19:13,772
You're even prettier
than Penny said.
355
00:19:13,863 --> 00:19:16,464
I can't believe a girl like
you doesn't have a boyfriend.
356
00:19:16,479 --> 00:19:17,292
Well, I don't.
357
00:19:17,311 --> 00:19:19,323
I don't believe you,
you're lying to me!
358
00:19:20,823 --> 00:19:22,827
- What?
- Oh, it's okay.
359
00:19:22,833 --> 00:19:24,807
I have no morals and
I'm desperately lonely.
360
00:19:24,825 --> 00:19:28,353
I'll be the other man if you want a
little something-something on the side.
361
00:19:29,074 --> 00:19:30,724
What is wrong with you?!
362
00:19:30,773 --> 00:19:32,347
What is wrong with you?!
363
00:19:32,453 --> 00:19:34,706
What is wrong with you?!
364
00:19:35,646 --> 00:19:40,646
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther