1 00:00:02,101 --> 00:00:04,830 Are you getting ready with Andy in London? 2 00:00:04,950 --> 00:00:06,087 You look lovely. 3 00:00:06,121 --> 00:00:07,555 I'm going to murder you a thousand times. 4 00:00:07,573 --> 00:00:08,906 Okay. 5 00:00:08,957 --> 00:00:11,692 What the hell? 6 00:00:11,727 --> 00:00:16,514 ♪ Someone's back from London, no, it's not the queen ♪ 7 00:00:16,548 --> 00:00:20,134 ♪ someone's back from London, it's not Mr. Bean ♪ 8 00:00:20,169 --> 00:00:21,652 Oh, my God. 9 00:00:21,703 --> 00:00:24,238 ♪ It's not the royal baby, I think his name is Jeff ♪ 10 00:00:24,256 --> 00:00:26,057 Stop singing! Kiss me! 11 00:00:26,091 --> 00:00:28,676 Oh, my God! What are you doing here? 12 00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:30,111 Just missed you so bad, honey, 13 00:00:30,145 --> 00:00:32,046 I bought myself a ticket home. 14 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:36,050 You're never gonna need that computer again 15 00:00:36,084 --> 00:00:38,385 'cause I'm home for, like, 19 hours. 16 00:00:38,403 --> 00:00:40,654 This is so sweet. Just like the old days. 17 00:00:40,672 --> 00:00:42,340 Take a hike, Jerry. 18 00:00:42,391 --> 00:00:44,275 It's Larry now. 19 00:00:44,309 --> 00:00:45,693 Okay, take a hike, Larry. 20 00:00:57,519 --> 00:01:05,310 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 21 00:01:05,430 --> 00:01:06,981 Next order of business, 22 00:01:06,999 --> 00:01:10,735 Councilman Jamm proposes Bill 949-c. 23 00:01:10,769 --> 00:01:12,253 That's right, stretch, 24 00:01:12,287 --> 00:01:14,622 and looking mighty fly in that suit, brother. 25 00:01:14,656 --> 00:01:15,957 Okay, this excellent bill only allows 26 00:01:15,991 --> 00:01:18,125 someone to vote in a Pawnee election, 27 00:01:18,143 --> 00:01:21,045 for example, the upcoming recall election, 28 00:01:21,079 --> 00:01:23,848 if their I.D. lists an official Pawnee address. 29 00:01:23,899 --> 00:01:26,267 Really, councilman? Again? 30 00:01:26,301 --> 00:01:27,585 The recall election is coming up, 31 00:01:27,619 --> 00:01:30,154 and Jamm keeps trying to figure out ways to screw me over. 32 00:01:30,188 --> 00:01:32,673 Last week, he tried to have me listed on the ballot 33 00:01:32,691 --> 00:01:35,343 as "Leslie Buttface Hitler the Fourth." 34 00:01:35,377 --> 00:01:36,844 All you're trying to do is disenfranchise 35 00:01:36,878 --> 00:01:38,562 the people from former Eagleton, 36 00:01:38,597 --> 00:01:40,347 people who will most likely vote for me 37 00:01:40,365 --> 00:01:41,666 because I saved a lot of their jobs. 38 00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:43,284 I move that we table the discussion 39 00:01:43,302 --> 00:01:44,302 until after the election. 40 00:01:44,353 --> 00:01:45,286 - Second. - Thank you! 41 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:46,354 - Ah! - I'm so sorry. 42 00:01:46,388 --> 00:01:49,040 I just get excited when you like me. 43 00:01:49,091 --> 00:01:52,093 I put my career on the line by saving Eagleton, 44 00:01:52,127 --> 00:01:53,828 and he's trying to rob me of their votes? 45 00:01:53,862 --> 00:01:54,912 Those are my votes. 46 00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:56,580 I've earned them! I want them! 47 00:01:56,632 --> 00:01:57,648 Give me those votes! 48 00:01:57,683 --> 00:01:59,400 I don't have them on me. 49 00:01:59,434 --> 00:02:01,302 I can't believe Jamm tried to pull that crap. 50 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,620 I can. He's a horrible monster. 51 00:02:02,654 --> 00:02:04,071 But let's focus on the more important issue. 52 00:02:04,089 --> 00:02:06,307 You want to squeeze in one more practice session? 53 00:02:06,341 --> 00:02:09,143 Oh, do I? 54 00:02:09,161 --> 00:02:11,395 Tonight, I am throwing Ben his dream birthday party, 55 00:02:11,430 --> 00:02:14,615 a roller skating bash with an early '90s theme. 56 00:02:14,650 --> 00:02:16,734 Ben lives for the early '90s. 57 00:02:16,785 --> 00:02:18,786 The music, the fashion. It's his favorite era. 58 00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:21,455 As for the roller skating-- 59 00:02:21,473 --> 00:02:23,524 I have a thing for women in skates. Okay? 60 00:02:23,558 --> 00:02:25,293 Everyone has a thing, and that's mine. 61 00:02:25,327 --> 00:02:27,712 As far as things go, it's pretty innocuous. 62 00:02:27,746 --> 00:02:31,432 Could be one of those dudes that kisses mannequins or whatever, 63 00:02:31,466 --> 00:02:34,485 but I like a woman in skates. 64 00:02:34,519 --> 00:02:36,554 A lot. 65 00:02:36,588 --> 00:02:39,974 Hey, Ann, Ann called. 66 00:02:40,008 --> 00:02:42,443 She wants her ugly outfit back. 67 00:02:42,461 --> 00:02:43,911 Why are you dressed as a pilgrim? 68 00:02:43,929 --> 00:02:46,480 Leslie said it was a "Come As You Were in the '90s" party. 69 00:02:46,515 --> 00:02:48,182 I assumed it was the 1690s. 70 00:02:48,216 --> 00:02:50,951 Babe, if it was the 1690s, we'd all be mummies. 71 00:02:50,985 --> 00:02:53,220 What do you think mummies are? 72 00:02:53,254 --> 00:02:54,221 Skeletons? 73 00:02:54,255 --> 00:02:55,573 - Oh, boy. - Hey. 74 00:02:55,607 --> 00:02:57,691 I just came straight from work, so I couldn't dress up. 75 00:02:57,709 --> 00:02:59,149 No problem. You look wiggidy-wiggidy- 76 00:02:59,161 --> 00:03:00,561 wiggidy-wiggidy-wonderful. 77 00:03:00,595 --> 00:03:01,795 Wait a minute. Pants on backwards. 78 00:03:01,813 --> 00:03:04,999 Kris Kross, right? Nice! 79 00:03:05,033 --> 00:03:06,450 What happens when you have to pee? 80 00:03:06,501 --> 00:03:07,752 I actually just went. 81 00:03:07,803 --> 00:03:09,420 I had to pull my pants all the way to the ground 82 00:03:09,471 --> 00:03:10,654 like a toddler. 83 00:03:11,857 --> 00:03:13,607 Nadia, the super hot doctor, 84 00:03:13,625 --> 00:03:15,109 has been hanging out with me for the last week. 85 00:03:15,127 --> 00:03:17,228 She's definitely out of my league. 86 00:03:17,262 --> 00:03:19,430 Actually, we're not even playing the same sport. 87 00:03:19,481 --> 00:03:21,365 It's kind of like she's in NBA 88 00:03:21,416 --> 00:03:23,667 and I work at a muffler store next to the stadium. 89 00:03:23,702 --> 00:03:24,668 I can't believe we met just before 90 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:25,920 you have to go on your stupid vacation. 91 00:03:25,954 --> 00:03:28,155 I'm doing doctors without borders, man. 92 00:03:28,190 --> 00:03:29,457 I'm going to Rwanda. 93 00:03:29,491 --> 00:03:32,159 Exactly. That's a stupid vacation. 94 00:03:32,193 --> 00:03:34,812 Okay, well, why don't you win me that huge-ass bear 95 00:03:34,846 --> 00:03:36,313 as a going-away present? 96 00:03:36,348 --> 00:03:37,365 No problem. I'm a skee ball master. 97 00:03:37,399 --> 00:03:39,250 No way! Why don't you go pro? 98 00:03:39,284 --> 00:03:41,052 I don't know. I didn't want to be a cliche. 99 00:03:41,086 --> 00:03:43,320 Yet another professional Indian skee ball player? 100 00:03:43,355 --> 00:03:44,304 Right. 101 00:03:47,793 --> 00:03:50,043 Now that's what I call shooting. 102 00:03:50,062 --> 00:03:51,479 Is this a hunting game? 103 00:03:51,513 --> 00:03:52,530 Yeah, it's fun. You want to play? 104 00:03:52,581 --> 00:03:53,914 Indeed, I do. 105 00:03:53,948 --> 00:03:57,251 If you'd like, I could offer you some pointers. 106 00:03:57,269 --> 00:03:59,320 Hunting, Donna, 107 00:03:59,354 --> 00:04:02,923 is about silence, balance, and patience. 108 00:04:04,342 --> 00:04:05,643 Get ready. 109 00:04:09,064 --> 00:04:12,850 You know you're supposed to hit the deer, right? 110 00:04:12,884 --> 00:04:15,469 Ugh! 111 00:04:15,487 --> 00:04:16,771 Get it together, Swanson. 112 00:04:16,805 --> 00:04:18,406 Well, the game is absurd. 113 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:20,307 This gun is lightweight, there's no sight, 114 00:04:20,342 --> 00:04:22,143 and we are far too close to these deer. 115 00:04:22,177 --> 00:04:23,844 Would they not smell us? 116 00:04:23,878 --> 00:04:25,913 I want my money back. How do I get my quarters? 117 00:04:25,947 --> 00:04:27,981 Oh, my God! You are such a sore loser. 118 00:04:27,999 --> 00:04:28,959 I am not a sore loser. 119 00:04:28,967 --> 00:04:30,167 It's just that I prefer to win, 120 00:04:30,168 --> 00:04:32,269 and when I don't, I get furious. 121 00:04:32,304 --> 00:04:34,054 Employee! 122 00:04:35,690 --> 00:04:37,475 Whoa! Watch this. 123 00:04:37,509 --> 00:04:38,826 Oh, that was brilliant. 124 00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:40,794 Sorry. You probably don't know what that means. 125 00:04:40,812 --> 00:04:42,630 You know how you Americans say "cool" when something's cool? 126 00:04:42,664 --> 00:04:45,065 Over in London, we say, "That's brilliant." 127 00:04:45,083 --> 00:04:46,367 Speaking of London, 128 00:04:46,401 --> 00:04:47,868 you haven't told me anything about work. 129 00:04:47,886 --> 00:04:49,526 - You still love it? - Yeah, it's awesome. 130 00:04:49,554 --> 00:04:50,971 I'm kicking ass. 131 00:04:50,989 --> 00:04:53,273 I'm like Chuck Norris, only instead of crushing 132 00:04:53,291 --> 00:04:57,878 bad guys' skulls, I'm crushing documents. 133 00:04:57,912 --> 00:04:59,213 - That's great. - Yeah. 134 00:04:59,231 --> 00:05:01,048 Now be the Chuck Norris of making out with me. 135 00:05:01,066 --> 00:05:04,184 I'll karate punch your face with my tongue. 136 00:05:04,202 --> 00:05:07,505 - Prove it. - Hi-yah. 137 00:05:07,556 --> 00:05:09,073 Get this. 138 00:05:09,107 --> 00:05:11,325 I just asked the DJ what REM albums he has. 139 00:05:11,359 --> 00:05:15,296 He's got Monster, but not Automatic For the People. 140 00:05:15,330 --> 00:05:17,314 - Wow! - I know. 141 00:05:17,349 --> 00:05:18,899 It's like, what is this? A mid-'90s party? 142 00:05:18,934 --> 00:05:20,634 No. It's an early '90s party. 143 00:05:20,652 --> 00:05:22,486 Okay, Larry. Tell us how this looks. 144 00:05:22,537 --> 00:05:24,305 Ben wants to do a synchronized couple skate 145 00:05:24,339 --> 00:05:25,506 to Losing My Religion. 146 00:05:25,540 --> 00:05:26,474 Hit it! 147 00:05:30,445 --> 00:05:32,913 Leslie! Leslie! Leslie! 148 00:05:32,948 --> 00:05:34,715 I'm sorry, but we have a problem. 149 00:05:34,749 --> 00:05:36,467 His name is Jeremy Jamm. 150 00:05:36,518 --> 00:05:37,768 Well, as noted in Article nine, Paragraph two-- 151 00:05:37,819 --> 00:05:39,236 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 152 00:05:39,287 --> 00:05:41,121 Jamm, I thought this bill was tabled? 153 00:05:41,155 --> 00:05:44,041 Yes, and I called a special session and un-tabled it. 154 00:05:44,092 --> 00:05:46,310 What's up with the roller skates? 155 00:05:46,361 --> 00:05:48,696 I was about to attend a roller skating birthday party 156 00:05:48,730 --> 00:05:50,597 for my husband, but this is more important. 157 00:05:50,615 --> 00:05:52,583 Yeah, I don't care. I'm a blades guy. 158 00:05:52,617 --> 00:05:53,751 Point of order! 159 00:05:53,802 --> 00:05:55,419 The councilwoman wishes to speak on this issue. 160 00:05:55,470 --> 00:05:57,504 Will the councilwoman yield her time 161 00:05:57,522 --> 00:05:58,772 so we can vote on this sucker? 162 00:05:58,807 --> 00:06:00,774 No, I will not yield. 163 00:06:00,808 --> 00:06:03,627 Nor will I yield for the rest of the evening. 164 00:06:03,662 --> 00:06:04,728 A filibuster? 165 00:06:04,763 --> 00:06:06,714 Are you dookin' on my chest right now? 166 00:06:06,748 --> 00:06:08,749 No! Gross! 167 00:06:08,783 --> 00:06:10,384 And yes, it's a filibuster. 168 00:06:10,418 --> 00:06:11,552 Okay? 169 00:06:11,586 --> 00:06:12,920 I am not willing to let you deprive me-- 170 00:06:12,954 --> 00:06:14,989 She's filibustering on roller skates? 171 00:06:15,023 --> 00:06:17,474 She's gonna be strapped into those things for hours. 172 00:06:17,509 --> 00:06:19,009 I know this is a dire situation, 173 00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:20,261 but I swear to God, this is like 174 00:06:20,295 --> 00:06:22,346 a crazy sex fantasy for me. 175 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,118 How goes it? 176 00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:35,060 Pretty good, except I suck at skee ball. 177 00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:36,812 Well, that's too bad, 'cause if you don't win me that bear, 178 00:06:36,846 --> 00:06:37,979 you're dead to me. 179 00:06:38,014 --> 00:06:39,415 Understood. 180 00:06:39,535 --> 00:06:41,415 Hey, man, how many tickets for that bear, again? 181 00:06:41,426 --> 00:06:44,778 - 40,000. - 40,000? Oh, brother. 182 00:06:44,812 --> 00:06:48,715 All right, you're gonna be my lookout for a second. 183 00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:50,183 Hey, is he allowed to do that? 184 00:06:50,218 --> 00:06:51,852 No! Get off the ramp, dude! 185 00:06:51,903 --> 00:06:54,121 Hey! You're supposed to be my lookout. 186 00:06:54,172 --> 00:06:55,922 I thought it'd be funnier to watch you get busted. 187 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:58,191 Hey, you're a doctor. You know snitches get stitches. 188 00:06:59,193 --> 00:07:00,994 I remember the first time I voted. 189 00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:03,563 I was in my bedroom, and I was five. 190 00:07:03,598 --> 00:07:05,916 I voted for Mildred, my stuffed pig, 191 00:07:05,950 --> 00:07:08,085 but my cat, pancakes, won. 192 00:07:08,119 --> 00:07:09,452 She had more funding. 193 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:12,339 Politics, right? What are you gonna do? 194 00:07:12,373 --> 00:07:13,740 How long have I been talking? Three hours? 195 00:07:13,775 --> 00:07:14,858 No, eight minutes. Okay. 196 00:07:14,876 --> 00:07:16,826 Maybe you should yield the floor. 197 00:07:16,844 --> 00:07:17,894 Milton doesn't have a lot of time-- 198 00:07:17,929 --> 00:07:19,262 left on earth. 199 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:20,864 Hey, just kidding, bud. 200 00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:22,716 Will someone open my crackers? 201 00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:23,700 The session ends at 11:00 P.M. 202 00:07:23,718 --> 00:07:25,986 She has to talk the whole time. 203 00:07:26,020 --> 00:07:27,871 She can't lean on anything for support, 204 00:07:27,939 --> 00:07:29,573 and no one else can help her. 205 00:07:29,607 --> 00:07:31,391 Three strikes and she is done. 206 00:07:31,426 --> 00:07:32,943 This is literally 207 00:07:32,977 --> 00:07:34,611 the most exciting thing that I've ever seen. 208 00:07:34,645 --> 00:07:35,579 I mean, think about it. 209 00:07:35,613 --> 00:07:36,763 Where else on earth would you rather 210 00:07:36,798 --> 00:07:38,114 spend your birthday with Leslie? 211 00:07:38,132 --> 00:07:39,966 Well, maybe the birthday party 212 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,185 she's throwing for me right now. 213 00:07:42,203 --> 00:07:45,055 Everyone in Pawnee should have the right to vote. 214 00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:46,056 Whoa! 215 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:48,058 As I dissect this important 216 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:49,543 and profound statement, 217 00:07:49,577 --> 00:07:50,710 I'm just gonna take these off for a second. 218 00:07:50,745 --> 00:07:53,513 Bam, strike one. No sitting. 219 00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,117 Is the gong really necessary? 220 00:07:57,151 --> 00:07:59,569 Yes, it is. I love Chinese crap. 221 00:07:59,587 --> 00:08:02,105 Lucy Liu, Nintendo, Gangnam Style, 222 00:08:02,140 --> 00:08:04,507 sushi, et cetera, et cetera. 223 00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,376 Also, more importantly, it's in the rules. No sitting. 224 00:08:06,411 --> 00:08:07,627 Okay, fine. 225 00:08:07,662 --> 00:08:08,795 Well, the strike is worth it if I can take these off. 226 00:08:08,830 --> 00:08:10,580 Oh, man! 227 00:08:10,598 --> 00:08:12,599 Oh, my God! 228 00:08:12,650 --> 00:08:16,036 I had this exact bear when I was a kid! 229 00:08:16,070 --> 00:08:17,487 - Excuse me. - Uh-huh. 230 00:08:17,505 --> 00:08:18,889 How much does this bear cost? 231 00:08:18,923 --> 00:08:20,807 40,000 tickets. 232 00:08:20,842 --> 00:08:22,526 Okay, well, let's just assume that I'm an adult 233 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,045 who doesn't have two weeks to play arcade games. 234 00:08:25,079 --> 00:08:27,581 What about 50 bucks? 235 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,182 Yeah. Just don't tell my boss. 236 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,378 - What are you doing, Morris? - Nothing, Mr. Bonderman. 237 00:08:31,402 --> 00:08:34,121 - Tuck in your shirt. God! - Sorry. 238 00:08:34,172 --> 00:08:36,690 Oh! You feeling it? 239 00:08:41,345 --> 00:08:42,579 Wow. You suck at this. 240 00:08:42,597 --> 00:08:45,015 Donna, please back up two paces 241 00:08:45,049 --> 00:08:47,250 so I can physically destroy this machine. 242 00:08:47,285 --> 00:08:50,770 Can you chill a little, man? It's not real hunting. 243 00:08:50,805 --> 00:08:52,055 It's just a game. 244 00:08:52,089 --> 00:08:53,170 That you happen to suck at. 245 00:08:53,191 --> 00:08:55,325 You know what? That's a good point. 246 00:08:55,359 --> 00:08:56,960 What? That you suck at this? 247 00:08:56,994 --> 00:09:00,263 That it's not real hunting. Come with me. 248 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,868 I don't want you to go back to London. 249 00:09:04,902 --> 00:09:06,942 Just remember, every time you look up at the moon, 250 00:09:06,971 --> 00:09:09,973 I, too, will be looking at a moon. 251 00:09:09,991 --> 00:09:12,108 Not the same moon, obviously. That's impossible. 252 00:09:12,126 --> 00:09:14,794 See you on stupid Skype. 253 00:09:17,231 --> 00:09:19,282 I'm proud of Andy. 254 00:09:19,317 --> 00:09:22,302 This is the first time he's really gone out on a limb. 255 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:25,138 I knew if he found something that he actually liked doing, 256 00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:28,158 he'd be happy, so I'm-- 257 00:09:30,127 --> 00:09:32,162 What the hell? Wha-- 258 00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:36,065 Hey! Perkins! What are you doing with my bear? 259 00:09:36,083 --> 00:09:37,083 I've been playing skee ball for, like, two hours 260 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,168 trying to win that for Nadia. 261 00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:39,753 I just bought it for 50 bucks. 262 00:09:39,804 --> 00:09:40,904 When I was a kid, 263 00:09:40,938 --> 00:09:43,139 I taught myself how to make out on this bear, 264 00:09:43,157 --> 00:09:44,674 pretended it was Cockroach from The Cosby Show. 265 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:48,094 Hey, what's going on here? Why does blossom have my bear? 266 00:09:48,145 --> 00:09:50,864 I bought it for myself, but apparently, 267 00:09:50,898 --> 00:09:52,465 he was trying to win it for you, so I'm sorry. 268 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:53,616 I still got some tickets, though. 269 00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:55,719 I could get you, uh, a ninja turtle balloon 270 00:09:55,753 --> 00:09:57,938 or Cliffhanger on VHS. 271 00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,739 Oh, that's so sweet, 272 00:09:59,790 --> 00:10:01,625 but you're basically offering me garbage. 273 00:10:01,659 --> 00:10:04,561 Let's just skate. 274 00:10:04,595 --> 00:10:06,515 That bear was the only thing she was gonna have 275 00:10:06,531 --> 00:10:07,781 to remember me by in Rwanda. 276 00:10:07,832 --> 00:10:10,333 And if I know anything about Rwanda, and I don't, 277 00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:11,685 I bet it's full of rich guys 278 00:10:11,719 --> 00:10:13,186 who'll buy her whatever she wants. 279 00:10:18,309 --> 00:10:21,995 Hunting. No quarters required. 280 00:10:22,029 --> 00:10:24,280 Hang on. 281 00:10:24,298 --> 00:10:25,966 Do you have a license to hunt at night? 282 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,852 'Cause you need a license. 283 00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:38,078 I thought you were serious. 284 00:10:38,112 --> 00:10:41,264 Come on now. You know I don't give a [bleep]. 285 00:10:41,299 --> 00:10:42,549 As Ronald Reagan would say, 286 00:10:42,583 --> 00:10:47,420 "Well, mommy, I believe voting rights are important." 287 00:10:47,455 --> 00:10:49,339 Does anyone else think it's hot in here? 288 00:10:49,373 --> 00:10:50,873 These overalls are really starchy. 289 00:10:50,891 --> 00:10:53,143 Yeah, maybe that's 'cause I turned up the heat to 90, 290 00:10:53,177 --> 00:10:55,829 and, uh, oh, the knob broke off in my hand. 291 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,998 Oops. 292 00:10:58,049 --> 00:11:00,267 Well, speaking of heat, 293 00:11:00,301 --> 00:11:02,769 we should discuss America's white-hot passion 294 00:11:02,820 --> 00:11:04,554 for voting rights and the men and women 295 00:11:04,589 --> 00:11:05,538 who help protect them, 296 00:11:05,590 --> 00:11:07,340 like the local city councilwoman 297 00:11:07,391 --> 00:11:09,726 who is starving and thinking about her husband's 298 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,261 Reservoir Dog- themed birthday cake 299 00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:12,228 and wanting to eat it really badly. 300 00:11:12,262 --> 00:11:14,080 Oh, this is not a good sign. 301 00:11:14,115 --> 00:11:16,533 Once she starts thinking about birthday cake, 302 00:11:16,567 --> 00:11:19,836 she's basically useless until she eats birthday cake. 303 00:11:19,854 --> 00:11:21,804 Democracy is not unlike a cake. 304 00:11:21,822 --> 00:11:24,624 It's layered, delicious, chocolate, and I want some. 305 00:11:24,675 --> 00:11:25,642 Okay, she's fading. 306 00:11:25,676 --> 00:11:27,477 Ben, we need to find a way to smuggle 307 00:11:27,511 --> 00:11:30,363 some mineral oil drops onto her tongue. 308 00:11:30,414 --> 00:11:32,332 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Excuse me. 309 00:11:32,366 --> 00:11:33,816 What the hell are you people doing here? 310 00:11:33,834 --> 00:11:36,119 We represent the citizens of former Eagleton. 311 00:11:36,137 --> 00:11:37,654 We're here to support Leslie Knope 312 00:11:37,688 --> 00:11:39,412 for preserving our voting rights. 313 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,723 Thank you! 314 00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:43,493 You are all warriors of democracy. 315 00:11:43,527 --> 00:11:47,180 You know, it was the first mayor of Pawnee, in 1817, 316 00:11:47,214 --> 00:11:50,233 who said, "All we have is the right to vote 317 00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:52,085 and the right to kill Indians without consequence." 318 00:11:52,119 --> 00:11:54,554 And I believe that half of that statement 319 00:11:54,605 --> 00:11:55,772 is still true today. 320 00:11:58,409 --> 00:11:59,359 All right! 321 00:11:59,410 --> 00:12:02,245 Second wind! 322 00:12:02,279 --> 00:12:04,964 Andy, I know you're in there. 323 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,984 Andy, come on. 324 00:12:09,870 --> 00:12:12,339 Oh, hey. 325 00:12:12,373 --> 00:12:14,474 I was just-- 326 00:12:14,508 --> 00:12:17,277 just here in this dumpster 'cause I jumped in. 327 00:12:17,328 --> 00:12:19,663 Get out! We need to talk. 328 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,581 About what? 329 00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:26,336 Fresh air, real weapons, an honest kill. 330 00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:30,540 There is no substitute for the real thing. 331 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,611 You want to go back and play that video game, don't you? 332 00:12:34,645 --> 00:12:38,014 Yes! Damn it! 333 00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:41,401 It is so inspiring to see Eagletonians 334 00:12:41,452 --> 00:12:43,370 putting aside their prejudices. 335 00:12:43,404 --> 00:12:45,488 With support like this, Leslie Knope 336 00:12:45,522 --> 00:12:47,790 may stand a fighting chance on recall day. 337 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:50,760 - Permission to hug you. - Granted. 338 00:12:50,794 --> 00:12:52,779 I should mention, though, 339 00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,314 that we're not voting to keep Leslie. 340 00:12:54,365 --> 00:12:56,066 What? 341 00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:57,400 We want someone from Eagleton 342 00:12:57,434 --> 00:12:59,902 to represent our interests on the new city council. 343 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:02,238 Sir, I formally revoke our hug. 344 00:13:02,256 --> 00:13:04,007 Well, you can't. It happened. 345 00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:07,544 We stand on the side of Rosa Parks, 346 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,747 and Gandhi, and Team Aniston. 347 00:13:10,765 --> 00:13:13,016 One small vote for Pawnee 348 00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:16,803 is one giant leap of voting for mankind. 349 00:13:16,854 --> 00:13:18,271 Hey! 350 00:13:18,305 --> 00:13:20,473 Hey, you're not allowed to receive help from the crowd. 351 00:13:20,524 --> 00:13:23,226 That's strike two. 352 00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:25,228 Hey, man, leave my gong alone. 353 00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:26,563 The reverb is the best part. 354 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,281 If I save your right to vote, 355 00:13:28,315 --> 00:13:30,617 you're gonna vote for someone from Eagleton? 356 00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:34,930 Eagleton! Eagleton! 357 00:13:35,487 --> 00:13:36,923 Hey, Knope! Wrap it up! 358 00:13:37,043 --> 00:13:37,951 I'm not gonna yield. 359 00:13:38,071 --> 00:13:39,975 I just--I need some time to think. 360 00:13:40,009 --> 00:13:42,878 And because I must keep talking, I'm gonna think out loud. 361 00:13:42,912 --> 00:13:46,365 Okay, if Eagletonians vote for someone else, 362 00:13:46,399 --> 00:13:50,130 then it would be in my best interest to stop, right? 363 00:13:50,465 --> 00:13:51,439 So they can't vote. 364 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:53,861 Uh, da-doy. Yield. 365 00:13:53,981 --> 00:13:55,966 Or I keep going, 366 00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:59,216 because the right to vote is fundamental in any democracy, 367 00:13:59,327 --> 00:14:01,127 and this is bigger than me or anyone. 368 00:14:01,162 --> 00:14:02,963 I don't care if I lose. 369 00:14:02,997 --> 00:14:05,148 No one prevents people in my town from voting. 370 00:14:05,182 --> 00:14:06,416 Not on my watch. 371 00:14:06,450 --> 00:14:08,418 The filibuster is on! 372 00:14:08,452 --> 00:14:10,470 Yeah! 373 00:14:10,504 --> 00:14:11,771 Okay. 374 00:14:11,806 --> 00:14:12,956 I can't go back to London. 375 00:14:12,990 --> 00:14:16,076 I'm totally in over my head on this project. 376 00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:17,560 Every day, someone comes up to me and says, 377 00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:19,729 "I need your approval on this, Mr. Dwyer." 378 00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:21,331 "I need your signature, Mr. Dwyer." 379 00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:22,615 "That's not a toilet, Mr. Dwyer." 380 00:14:22,633 --> 00:14:24,985 But you said everything was going awesome. 381 00:14:25,019 --> 00:14:26,619 You said you were like Chuck Norris. 382 00:14:26,654 --> 00:14:28,154 I am, but I'm like Chuck Norris now-- 383 00:14:28,172 --> 00:14:31,024 some old guy with a beard who used to be good at karate 384 00:14:31,058 --> 00:14:32,976 but became a dumb has-been 385 00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:36,096 and is scared and confused about his big London job. 386 00:14:36,130 --> 00:14:37,313 Okay. 387 00:14:37,348 --> 00:14:39,499 The parallels between he and I are very eerie. 388 00:14:39,533 --> 00:14:41,968 I'm gonna tell you a secret about everyone else's job. 389 00:14:42,003 --> 00:14:43,386 Okay. 390 00:14:43,437 --> 00:14:45,155 No one knows what they're doing. 391 00:14:45,206 --> 00:14:48,174 I don't know how to run an animal control department. 392 00:14:48,209 --> 00:14:50,193 Half the documents I get I put right into the shredder 393 00:14:50,227 --> 00:14:51,528 because they're so boring. 394 00:14:51,562 --> 00:14:53,613 But you seem like you do know what you're doing. 395 00:14:53,647 --> 00:14:54,881 Yeah, I seem like it. 396 00:14:54,915 --> 00:14:57,350 Deep down, everyone is just faking it 397 00:14:57,368 --> 00:15:00,470 until they figure it out. 398 00:15:00,504 --> 00:15:02,405 And you will too, because you are awesome 399 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,391 and everyone else sucks. 400 00:15:05,409 --> 00:15:09,679 - 30 minutes to go. - Oh, God, it's so hot. 401 00:15:09,714 --> 00:15:11,781 Almost as hot as the flames 402 00:15:11,816 --> 00:15:14,084 that Eagleton would have gone down in 403 00:15:14,135 --> 00:15:15,535 if I had not saved them. 404 00:15:19,973 --> 00:15:21,591 Mm, mm, mm. 405 00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:24,344 - That's-- - How I know you would love 406 00:15:24,378 --> 00:15:27,914 an ice-cold frozen marg. 407 00:15:27,948 --> 00:15:30,050 All I want is the promise of democracy. 408 00:15:30,084 --> 00:15:31,184 Sure about that? 409 00:15:31,218 --> 00:15:33,236 - I want that marg. - I know you do. 410 00:15:33,287 --> 00:15:35,538 - I want that Margarita. - Oh, it's gonna be so good. 411 00:15:35,589 --> 00:15:37,323 So cold. It's so cold. 412 00:15:37,341 --> 00:15:39,943 - I want to drink it. - Make that heat go away! 413 00:15:39,977 --> 00:15:42,579 Come on, get! 414 00:15:42,613 --> 00:15:44,130 Come on, girl. Get! 415 00:15:44,165 --> 00:15:46,049 Give me that Margarita! 416 00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:49,369 No! I want votes. 417 00:15:51,956 --> 00:15:54,707 Excuse me, worker, 418 00:15:54,725 --> 00:15:56,809 bring me a bucket of beers and four hot dogs. 419 00:15:56,827 --> 00:15:57,810 Please, and thank you. 420 00:15:57,828 --> 00:15:59,829 Why are you covered in blood? 421 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,798 Don't worry. It's not human. 422 00:16:01,849 --> 00:16:04,100 I hope you've made peace with your God, 423 00:16:04,151 --> 00:16:06,152 small electronic deer. 424 00:16:06,187 --> 00:16:08,121 Kill it. 425 00:16:08,155 --> 00:16:09,939 Ann, I need that bear. 426 00:16:09,974 --> 00:16:11,724 I got to give Nadia something awesome 427 00:16:11,758 --> 00:16:13,276 so she'll remember me when she's in Africa. 428 00:16:13,310 --> 00:16:17,213 Tom, bear or no bear, she clearly likes you. 429 00:16:17,264 --> 00:16:19,599 Actually, how do you even get girls like her-- 430 00:16:19,633 --> 00:16:21,184 or me-- to go out with you? 431 00:16:21,218 --> 00:16:22,852 Scientists say the emotions of love and hate 432 00:16:22,903 --> 00:16:23,970 are very close to each other. 433 00:16:24,004 --> 00:16:25,171 That's what I tell women. 434 00:16:25,206 --> 00:16:27,423 The point is, she's leaving in two days. 435 00:16:27,458 --> 00:16:29,476 You want her to remember you? 436 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:30,477 Go spend time with her 437 00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:32,328 and do something memorable, dummy! 438 00:16:32,363 --> 00:16:33,797 Thanks, Ann. 439 00:16:33,831 --> 00:16:35,448 I know conversations like this are hard for you 440 00:16:35,466 --> 00:16:36,966 'cause you still have feelings for me, 441 00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:38,601 but you'll land on your feet, kid. 442 00:16:38,652 --> 00:16:41,171 - Run or I punch you. - No punchies! 443 00:16:42,373 --> 00:16:45,091 Okay, bye for real this time. 444 00:16:48,061 --> 00:16:49,329 Wait, wait, wait. 445 00:16:49,363 --> 00:16:51,047 I made you five bologna sandwiches 446 00:16:51,098 --> 00:16:52,482 in case you get hungry on the way to the airport. 447 00:16:52,516 --> 00:16:53,599 Did you-- 448 00:16:53,617 --> 00:16:55,118 Yes, I used cookies instead of bread. 449 00:16:55,152 --> 00:16:57,253 You think of everything. I love you. 450 00:16:57,288 --> 00:16:59,589 Love you too. 451 00:17:04,478 --> 00:17:06,779 Are you kidding me? 452 00:17:06,797 --> 00:17:09,799 - Andy! - Ha! Ha! Found it! 453 00:17:09,850 --> 00:17:12,351 I got--I left my wallet in here earlier, I guess. 454 00:17:12,369 --> 00:17:14,537 Whoo! All good now. 455 00:17:14,588 --> 00:17:16,455 Ooh, look! Noodles! 456 00:17:16,473 --> 00:17:18,808 No, no, no, babe. Babe, don't touch those. 457 00:17:18,859 --> 00:17:20,443 I've read the entire charter. 458 00:17:20,477 --> 00:17:23,563 There's no other way to get her a bathroom break... 459 00:17:23,597 --> 00:17:27,366 unless we bring the bathroom to her-- 460 00:17:27,384 --> 00:17:28,384 that's nothing. 461 00:17:28,419 --> 00:17:29,936 I mean, she's not gonna make it. 462 00:17:29,970 --> 00:17:32,472 Look at her, she's dancing around like she's a character 463 00:17:32,506 --> 00:17:34,140 in one of those Peanuts cartoons. 464 00:17:34,175 --> 00:17:37,493 Okay, in these last few minutes, 465 00:17:37,545 --> 00:17:41,714 I would like to talk about the voting rights act of 1968 466 00:17:41,748 --> 00:17:44,851 while clenching every muscle in my body. 467 00:17:44,885 --> 00:17:46,019 Sound good? 468 00:17:46,053 --> 00:17:48,221 Hey, Knope, how you feeling over there? 469 00:17:48,255 --> 00:17:50,240 You go pee-pee? Pee-pee times? 470 00:17:50,291 --> 00:17:51,574 Make wee-wee? 471 00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:52,575 Ten more seconds. 472 00:17:52,626 --> 00:17:56,963 Four, three, two, one! 473 00:17:56,997 --> 00:17:59,865 This session is adjourned. 474 00:17:59,884 --> 00:18:01,968 All pending matters are tabled. 475 00:18:02,002 --> 00:18:05,638 Yes! 476 00:18:05,673 --> 00:18:07,390 - You were amazing. - I love you, but move! 477 00:18:07,424 --> 00:18:08,541 I have to go to the whiz palace. 478 00:18:08,559 --> 00:18:09,542 Oh, wait! 479 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,177 Eagleton! Eagleton! 480 00:18:11,211 --> 00:18:15,431 Oh! My beautiful curls! 481 00:18:15,482 --> 00:18:16,882 She didn't have time to hug me, 482 00:18:16,901 --> 00:18:18,268 but she could do that? 483 00:18:19,927 --> 00:18:23,258 Hey, Ann, can I talk to you for a second? About Tom? 484 00:18:23,378 --> 00:18:24,212 Sure. 485 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,760 You guys look like you're having fun. 486 00:18:25,781 --> 00:18:27,056 Yeah, no, I really like him. 487 00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:29,609 I just wanted to say that I think you're really cool, 488 00:18:29,643 --> 00:18:31,990 and the fact that Tom dated you 489 00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:33,527 makes me think he's a really good guy. 490 00:18:33,562 --> 00:18:35,863 That's so sweet. 491 00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:38,566 Oh, okay. 492 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,567 Wha--what are you-- 493 00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,018 - What the hell? - Now! 494 00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,286 Sorry, Ann, this is on you. 495 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:43,068 You told us to make a memory. 496 00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:45,022 - There's your money back. - Let go! 497 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,025 Suck it! 498 00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:50,027 This is $8! 499 00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:52,379 - Man, that was so much fun. - Yeah. 500 00:18:52,414 --> 00:18:54,531 Together, we truly did steal a toy 501 00:18:54,549 --> 00:18:56,133 from your pregnant friend. 502 00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:58,586 - Hey, can I ask you something? - Mm-hmm. 503 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,972 I know we just met, like, two weeks ago and whatever, 504 00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,308 but is there any chance maybe, 505 00:19:04,342 --> 00:19:05,643 when you get back, we can maybe-- 506 00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:08,212 Ugh. Clingy. 507 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,547 Oh, no. Sorry. No, no, no, no. 508 00:19:10,565 --> 00:19:12,549 I'm kidding. 509 00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:14,068 Of course I'll call you when I come back. 510 00:19:14,102 --> 00:19:16,437 - Really? - Yeah. 511 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:19,273 So long, suckers! 512 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:20,908 Hey! Quick! 513 00:19:24,679 --> 00:19:25,746 Ooh! 514 00:19:25,780 --> 00:19:26,780 Come on, come on, come on, come on! 515 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,282 Now that's what I call shooting. 516 00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:29,834 - Come on! - That's a new record! 517 00:19:29,868 --> 00:19:30,868 Hey! Look at that! 518 00:19:30,902 --> 00:19:33,170 You finally made it in the top 10. 519 00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:34,455 Now you can enter your initials. 520 00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,790 My initials are private. 521 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:40,094 Then just put in any three letters. 522 00:19:44,466 --> 00:19:46,100 Ass. 523 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,089 Oh, my God! That was epic! 524 00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:53,307 I was peeing so freakin' hard, 525 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:54,775 it was like a jacuzzi jet or-- 526 00:19:54,809 --> 00:19:56,944 - Hi, Leslie. - Hey! Ingrid! 527 00:19:56,978 --> 00:19:59,363 I wasn't talking about the velocity of my pee 528 00:19:59,397 --> 00:20:01,157 because you are a very smart and classy lady. 529 00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:03,600 Ben, you remember Ingrid de Forest 530 00:20:03,618 --> 00:20:05,035 from the former Eagleton. 531 00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:07,288 Yes, she was just telling me she's been nominated 532 00:20:07,322 --> 00:20:09,990 to run against you in the recall. 533 00:20:10,041 --> 00:20:12,276 Wow. Buzz kill. 534 00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:14,128 I know you must hate me right now, Leslie, 535 00:20:14,162 --> 00:20:15,880 and that's justified, 536 00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:19,383 but I need to thank you for what you just did in there. 537 00:20:19,417 --> 00:20:21,001 Not the forceful urination. The filibuster. 538 00:20:21,052 --> 00:20:22,303 Right, yeah. 539 00:20:22,337 --> 00:20:25,956 It was incredibly courageous, and it was selfless. 540 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,291 And if I do win, 541 00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:29,459 I'm gonna have very big roller skates to fill. 542 00:20:29,477 --> 00:20:33,013 Could I take you out for a celebratory plate of-- 543 00:20:33,064 --> 00:20:34,315 I think you call them waffles? 544 00:20:34,349 --> 00:20:36,400 Wow, that is the best offer you could ever make, 545 00:20:36,418 --> 00:20:39,753 but I had to miss my husband's birthday party for this, 546 00:20:39,788 --> 00:20:42,006 so I think I'll be spending the evening with him. 547 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:46,076 - A rain check, maybe. - Please. 548 00:20:46,094 --> 00:20:49,013 I'm sorry your birthday party got all screwed up. 549 00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:50,714 Maybe I should put those roller skates back on. 550 00:20:50,748 --> 00:20:51,966 Well, you must be exhausted. 551 00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:53,100 We don't have to go to the party. 552 00:20:53,134 --> 00:20:55,102 Oh, we're not going to the party. 553 00:20:55,136 --> 00:20:56,687 We're going home. 554 00:20:56,721 --> 00:20:59,423 Then why would you need to put on roller...skates? 555 00:20:59,441 --> 00:21:01,925 Oh, yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 556 00:21:01,943 --> 00:21:05,233 We're just-- we're just--skates...