1
00:00:03,201 --> 00:00:06,604
Are you getting ready for you nightly
Skype date with Andy in London?
2
00:00:06,632 --> 00:00:09,342
- You look lovely. - I'm going to
murder you a thousand times.
3
00:00:09,366 --> 00:00:11,042
Okay.
[Chuckles]
4
00:00:11,114 --> 00:00:12,958
What the hell?
5
00:00:13,321 --> 00:00:18,162
♪ Someone's back from London,
no, it's not the queen ♪
6
00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:21,815
♪ Someone's back from
London, it's not Mr. Bean ♪
7
00:00:21,851 --> 00:00:22,826
Oh, my God.
8
00:00:22,845 --> 00:00:25,667
♪ It's not the royal baby,
I think his name is Jeff ♪
9
00:00:25,687 --> 00:00:27,488
Stop singing!
Kiss me!
10
00:00:28,585 --> 00:00:30,516
Oh, my God! What are
you doing here?
11
00:00:30,535 --> 00:00:33,822
Just missed you so bad, honey,
I bought myself a ticket home.
12
00:00:34,062 --> 00:00:36,637
You're never gonna need
that computer again...
13
00:00:37,939 --> 00:00:40,195
'cause I'm home for,
like, 19 hours.
14
00:00:40,220 --> 00:00:42,751
This is so sweet.
Just like the old days.
15
00:00:42,769 --> 00:00:43,557
[Laughs]
16
00:00:43,582 --> 00:00:46,063
- Take a hike, Jerry.
- It's Larry now.
17
00:00:46,091 --> 00:00:47,776
Okay, take a hike, Larry.
18
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,742
[Triumphant music]
19
00:00:50,783 --> 00:00:58,639
♪
20
00:00:59,249 --> 00:01:07,249
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
21
00:01:08,125 --> 00:01:13,092
Next order of business, Councilman
Jamm proposes Bill 949-C.
22
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,200
That's right, stretch,
23
00:01:14,218 --> 00:01:17,002
and looking mighty fly
in that suit, brother.
24
00:01:17,031 --> 00:01:20,923
Okay, this excellent bill only allows
someone to vote in a Pawnee election,
25
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:23,867
for example, the upcoming
recall election,
26
00:01:23,892 --> 00:01:27,358
if their I.D. lists an
official Pawnee address.
27
00:01:27,382 --> 00:01:29,302
Really, councilman?
Again?
28
00:01:29,321 --> 00:01:30,637
The recall election
is coming up,
29
00:01:30,663 --> 00:01:33,223
and Jamm keeps trying to figure
out ways to screw me over.
30
00:01:33,269 --> 00:01:35,838
Last week, he tried to have me
listed on the ballot
31
00:01:35,853 --> 00:01:38,505
as "Leslie Buttface
Hitler the Fourth."
32
00:01:38,553 --> 00:01:41,750
All you're trying to do is disenfranchise
the people from former Eagleton,
33
00:01:41,779 --> 00:01:44,779
people who will most likely vote for me
because I saved a lot of their jobs.
34
00:01:44,795 --> 00:01:47,389
I move that we table the discussion
until after the election.
35
00:01:47,403 --> 00:01:48,416
- Second.
- Thank you!
36
00:01:48,435 --> 00:01:49,941
- Ah!
- [Gasps] I'm so sorry.
37
00:01:49,972 --> 00:01:52,328
I just get excited
when you like me.
38
00:01:52,716 --> 00:01:55,363
I put my career on the
line by saving Eagleton,
39
00:01:55,394 --> 00:01:57,526
and he's trying to rob
me of their votes?
40
00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:58,713
Those are my votes.
41
00:01:58,741 --> 00:02:01,089
I've earned them! I want them!
Give me those votes!
42
00:02:01,115 --> 00:02:02,758
I don't have them on me.
43
00:02:02,776 --> 00:02:04,771
I can't believe Jamm
tried to pull that crap.
44
00:02:04,794 --> 00:02:06,269
I can.
He's a horrible monster.
45
00:02:06,287 --> 00:02:08,282
But let's focus on the
more important issue.
46
00:02:08,307 --> 00:02:10,609
You want to squeeze in
one more practice session?
47
00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:12,348
Oh, do I?
48
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,436
Tonight, I am throwing Ben
his dream birthday party,
49
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:18,589
a roller skating bash
with an early '90s theme.
50
00:02:18,612 --> 00:02:20,849
Ben lives for the early '90s.
51
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:23,185
The music, the fashion.
It's his favorite era.
52
00:02:23,381 --> 00:02:24,881
As for the roller skating--
53
00:02:24,904 --> 00:02:27,201
I have a thing for women
in skates. Okay?
54
00:02:27,432 --> 00:02:29,388
Everyone has a thing,
and that's mine.
55
00:02:29,407 --> 00:02:32,132
As far as things go,
it's pretty innocuous.
56
00:02:32,157 --> 00:02:35,618
Could be one of those dudes that
kisses mannequins or whatever,
57
00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:38,451
but I like a woman in skates.
58
00:02:39,324 --> 00:02:40,668
A lot.
59
00:02:42,668 --> 00:02:45,859
Hey, Ann, Ann called. She
wants her ugly outfit back.
60
00:02:45,884 --> 00:02:46,940
[Laughs]
61
00:02:46,965 --> 00:02:48,396
Why are you dressed
as a pilgrim?
62
00:02:48,414 --> 00:02:50,965
Leslie said it was a "Come As
You Were in the '90s" party.
63
00:02:50,982 --> 00:02:52,860
I assumed it was the 1690s.
64
00:02:52,879 --> 00:02:55,295
Babe, if it was the 1690s,
we'd all be mummies.
65
00:02:55,314 --> 00:02:57,359
What do you think mummies are?
66
00:02:57,874 --> 00:02:58,841
Skeletons?
67
00:02:58,875 --> 00:03:00,281
- Oh, boy.
- Hey.
68
00:03:00,295 --> 00:03:02,464
I just came straight from
work, so I couldn't dress up.
69
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,856
No problem. You look wiggidy-wiggidy-
wiggidy-wiggidy-wonderful.
70
00:03:04,876 --> 00:03:09,618
Wait a minute. Pants on backwards.
Kris Kross, right? Nice!
71
00:03:09,871 --> 00:03:11,267
What happens when
you have to pee?
72
00:03:11,296 --> 00:03:12,315
I actually just went.
73
00:03:12,327 --> 00:03:14,628
I had to pull my pants
all the way to the ground
74
00:03:14,666 --> 00:03:16,316
- like a toddler.
- [Laughs]
75
00:03:16,452 --> 00:03:18,316
Nadia, the super hot doctor,
76
00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:19,979
has been hanging out with
me for the last week.
77
00:03:19,998 --> 00:03:22,115
She's definitely
out of my league.
78
00:03:22,144 --> 00:03:24,466
Actually, we're not even
playing the same sport.
79
00:03:24,563 --> 00:03:28,543
It's kind of like she's in NBA and I work
at a muffler store next to the stadium.
80
00:03:28,596 --> 00:03:31,077
I can't believe we met just before you
have to go on your stupid vacation.
81
00:03:31,102 --> 00:03:34,652
I'm doing doctors without borders, man.
I'm going to Rwanda.
82
00:03:34,677 --> 00:03:36,672
Exactly. That's a
stupid vacation.
83
00:03:36,691 --> 00:03:40,161
Okay, well, why don't you
win me that huge-ass bear
84
00:03:40,185 --> 00:03:41,261
as a going-away present?
85
00:03:41,283 --> 00:03:42,746
No problem. I'm a
skee ball master.
86
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,879
No way! Why don't you go pro?
87
00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,454
I don't know. I didn't
want to be a cliche.
88
00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:48,711
Yet another professional
Indian skee ball player?
89
00:03:48,734 --> 00:03:49,847
[Laughs] Right.
90
00:03:49,877 --> 00:03:53,313
[Gunshot effects]
91
00:03:53,347 --> 00:03:55,123
Now that's what
I call shooting.
92
00:03:55,154 --> 00:03:57,043
Is this a hunting game?
93
00:03:57,074 --> 00:03:59,729
- Yeah, it's fun. You want to play?
- Indeed, I do.
94
00:03:59,909 --> 00:04:03,109
If you'd like, I could
offer you some pointers.
95
00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:05,011
Hunting, Donna,
96
00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:08,701
is about silence,
balance, and patience.
97
00:04:10,377 --> 00:04:11,447
Get ready.
98
00:04:11,487 --> 00:04:14,554
[Gunshot effects]
99
00:04:14,723 --> 00:04:17,445
You know you're supposed
to hit the deer, right?
100
00:04:18,507 --> 00:04:19,721
Ugh!
101
00:04:21,358 --> 00:04:24,063
- Get it together, Swanson.
- Well, the game is absurd.
102
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:28,220
This gun is lightweight, there's no sight,
and we are far too close to these deer.
103
00:04:28,239 --> 00:04:29,905
Would they not smell us?
104
00:04:29,933 --> 00:04:31,877
I want my money back. How
do I get my quarters?
105
00:04:31,895 --> 00:04:33,929
Oh, my God! You are
such a sore loser.
106
00:04:33,959 --> 00:04:36,274
I am not a sore loser. It's
just that I prefer to win,
107
00:04:36,293 --> 00:04:38,304
and when I don't,
I get furious.
108
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:39,825
Employee!
109
00:04:41,988 --> 00:04:43,799
Whoa! Watch this.
110
00:04:44,106 --> 00:04:45,423
Oh, that was brilliant.
111
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,046
Sorry. You probably don't
know what that means.
112
00:04:47,066 --> 00:04:49,048
You know how you Americans say
"cool" when something's cool?
113
00:04:49,073 --> 00:04:51,242
Over in London, we say,
"That's brilliant."
114
00:04:51,275 --> 00:04:54,441
Speaking of London, you haven't
told me anything about work.
115
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,938
- You still love it?
- Yeah, it's awesome.
116
00:04:55,957 --> 00:04:57,288
I'm kicking ass.
117
00:04:57,312 --> 00:05:00,363
I'm like Chuck Norris,
only instead of crushing
118
00:05:00,376 --> 00:05:04,026
bad guys' skulls, I'm
crushing documents.
119
00:05:04,622 --> 00:05:05,877
- That's great.
- Yeah.
120
00:05:05,897 --> 00:05:07,860
Now be the Chuck Norris
of making out with me.
121
00:05:07,878 --> 00:05:10,968
I'll karate punch your
face with my tongue.
122
00:05:11,073 --> 00:05:13,394
- Prove it.
- Hi-yah.
123
00:05:14,774 --> 00:05:18,382
Get this. I just asked the
DJ what REM albums he has.
124
00:05:18,458 --> 00:05:22,395
He's got Monster, but not
Automatic For the People.
125
00:05:22,466 --> 00:05:23,811
- Wow!
- I know.
126
00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:25,599
It's like, what is this?
A mid-'90s party?
127
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,487
No. It's an early '90s party.
128
00:05:27,532 --> 00:05:29,122
Okay, Larry.
Tell us how this looks.
129
00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:32,232
Ben wants to do a synchronized
couple skate to Losing My Religion.
130
00:05:32,269 --> 00:05:33,245
Hit it!
131
00:05:33,313 --> 00:05:36,198
[REM's Losing My Religion plays]
132
00:05:36,343 --> 00:05:37,293
♪
133
00:05:38,169 --> 00:05:39,964
Leslie!
Leslie! Leslie!
134
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,841
I'm sorry,
but we have a problem.
135
00:05:41,873 --> 00:05:43,661
His name is Jeremy Jamm.
136
00:05:43,685 --> 00:05:46,429
- Well, as noted in Article nine, Paragraph
two... - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
137
00:05:46,448 --> 00:05:48,282
Jamm, I thought this
bill was tabled?
138
00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:51,509
Yes, and I called a special
session and un-tabled it.
139
00:05:51,526 --> 00:05:53,281
What's up with the roller skates?
140
00:05:53,292 --> 00:05:56,647
I was about to attend a roller skating
birthday party for my husband,
141
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:59,279
- but this is more important.
- Yeah, I don't care. I'm a blades guy.
142
00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:00,641
Point of order!
143
00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:02,657
The councilwoman wishes
to speak on this issue.
144
00:06:02,675 --> 00:06:06,259
Will the councilwoman yield her
time so we can vote on this sucker?
145
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:08,512
No, I will not yield.
146
00:06:08,844 --> 00:06:11,042
Nor will I yield for the
rest of the evening.
147
00:06:11,060 --> 00:06:12,326
A filibuster?
148
00:06:12,493 --> 00:06:14,444
Are you dookin' on
my chest right now?
149
00:06:14,872 --> 00:06:16,135
No! Gross!
150
00:06:16,146 --> 00:06:18,390
And yes, it's a filibuster.
Okay?
151
00:06:18,418 --> 00:06:20,262
I am not willing to
let you deprive me--
152
00:06:20,293 --> 00:06:22,649
She's filibustering
on roller skates?
153
00:06:22,667 --> 00:06:24,776
She's gonna be strapped
into those things for hours.
154
00:06:24,798 --> 00:06:26,370
I know this
is a dire situation,
155
00:06:26,388 --> 00:06:30,276
but I swear to God, this is like
a crazy sex fantasy for me.
156
00:06:31,072 --> 00:06:32,072
[Shutter clicks]
157
00:06:39,087 --> 00:06:40,189
How goes it?
158
00:06:40,211 --> 00:06:43,329
Pretty good, except I
suck at skee ball.
159
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,643
Well, that's too bad, 'cause if you don't
win me that bear, you're dead to me.
160
00:06:46,687 --> 00:06:47,567
Understood.
161
00:06:47,595 --> 00:06:49,539
Hey, man, how many tickets
for that bear, again?
162
00:06:49,551 --> 00:06:52,820
- 40,000.
- 40,000? Oh, brother.
163
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,878
All right, you're gonna be
my lookout for a second.
164
00:06:54,903 --> 00:06:56,228
All right.
165
00:06:57,185 --> 00:07:00,421
- Hey, is he allowed to do that?
- No! Get off the ramp, dude!
166
00:07:00,443 --> 00:07:02,577
Hey! You're supposed
to be my lookout.
167
00:07:02,601 --> 00:07:04,320
I thought it'd be funnier
to watch you get busted.
168
00:07:04,342 --> 00:07:06,576
Hey, you're a doctor. You
know snitches get stitches.
169
00:07:06,598 --> 00:07:07,803
[Giggles]
170
00:07:07,847 --> 00:07:09,843
I remember
the first time I voted.
171
00:07:09,870 --> 00:07:12,404
I was in my bedroom,
and I was five.
172
00:07:12,495 --> 00:07:14,807
I voted for Mildred,
my stuffed pig,
173
00:07:14,873 --> 00:07:16,755
but my cat, pancakes, won.
174
00:07:16,779 --> 00:07:18,334
She had more funding.
175
00:07:18,361 --> 00:07:20,849
Politics, right?
What are you gonna do?
176
00:07:20,958 --> 00:07:23,531
How long have I been talking? Three hours?
No, eight minutes. Okay.
177
00:07:23,549 --> 00:07:25,237
Maybe you should
yield the floor.
178
00:07:25,273 --> 00:07:28,185
Milton doesn't have a lot
of time-- left on earth.
179
00:07:28,371 --> 00:07:31,389
- Hey, just kidding, bud.
- Will someone open my crackers?
180
00:07:31,416 --> 00:07:34,809
The session ends at 11:00 P.M.
She has to talk the whole time.
181
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:38,551
She can't lean on anything for
support, and no one else can help her.
182
00:07:38,572 --> 00:07:40,463
Three strikes and she is done.
183
00:07:40,481 --> 00:07:44,104
This is literally the most exciting
thing that I've ever seen.
184
00:07:44,132 --> 00:07:45,976
I mean, think about it. Where
else on earth would you rather
185
00:07:45,997 --> 00:07:47,222
spend your birthday with Leslie?
186
00:07:47,249 --> 00:07:51,469
Well, maybe the birthday party
she's throwing for me right now.
187
00:07:51,494 --> 00:07:54,567
Everyone in Pawnee should
have the right to vote.
188
00:07:54,613 --> 00:07:58,732
Whoa! As I dissect this important
and profound statement,
189
00:07:58,758 --> 00:08:00,739
I'm just gonna take
these off for a second.
190
00:08:00,757 --> 00:08:03,018
Bam, strike one.
No sitting.
191
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,008
[Hits gong]
192
00:08:05,101 --> 00:08:06,676
Is the gong really necessary?
193
00:08:06,713 --> 00:08:09,131
Yes, it is. I love Chinese crap.
194
00:08:09,161 --> 00:08:13,994
Lucy Liu, Nintendo, Gangnam Style,
sushi, et cetera, et cetera.
195
00:08:14,081 --> 00:08:16,073
Also, more importantly,
it's in the rules. No sitting.
196
00:08:16,091 --> 00:08:18,854
Okay, fine. Well, the strike is
worth it if I can take these off.
197
00:08:18,879 --> 00:08:20,092
Oh, man!
198
00:08:20,316 --> 00:08:21,185
[Gasps]
199
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:25,423
Oh, my God! I had this exact
bear when I was a kid!
200
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,245
- Excuse me.
- Uh-huh.
201
00:08:27,264 --> 00:08:30,294
- How much does this bear cost?
- 40,000 tickets.
202
00:08:30,329 --> 00:08:32,494
Okay, well, let's
just assume that I'm an adult
203
00:08:32,519 --> 00:08:34,951
who doesn't have two weeks
to play arcade games.
204
00:08:34,986 --> 00:08:37,674
What about 50 bucks?
205
00:08:37,699 --> 00:08:39,360
Yeah.
Just don't tell my boss.
206
00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:41,751
- What are you doing, Morris?
- Nothing, Mr. Bonderman.
207
00:08:41,776 --> 00:08:44,251
- Tuck in your shirt. God!
- Sorry.
208
00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:47,000
[Gunshot effects]
Oh! You feeling it?
209
00:08:49,556 --> 00:08:51,251
[Laughs]
210
00:08:51,287 --> 00:08:53,055
Wow. You suck at this.
211
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:57,597
Donna, please back up two paces so I
can physically destroy this machine.
212
00:08:57,616 --> 00:09:00,956
Can you chill a little, man?
It's not real hunting.
213
00:09:00,981 --> 00:09:02,512
It's just a game.
214
00:09:02,621 --> 00:09:03,854
That you happen to suck at.
215
00:09:03,878 --> 00:09:06,352
You know what?
That's a good point.
216
00:09:06,422 --> 00:09:07,546
What?
That you suck at this?
217
00:09:07,569 --> 00:09:09,557
That it's not real hunting.
218
00:09:09,638 --> 00:09:11,035
Come with me.
219
00:09:13,731 --> 00:09:15,222
I don't want you to
go back to London.
220
00:09:15,252 --> 00:09:17,958
Just remember, every time
you look up at the moon,
221
00:09:17,976 --> 00:09:20,625
I, too, will be
looking at a moon.
222
00:09:20,648 --> 00:09:23,092
Not the same moon, obviously.
That's impossible.
223
00:09:23,121 --> 00:09:25,557
See you on stupid Skype.
224
00:09:28,607 --> 00:09:30,051
I'm proud of Andy.
225
00:09:30,074 --> 00:09:33,337
This is the first time he's
really gone out on a limb.
226
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,349
I knew if he found something
that he actually liked doing,
227
00:09:36,361 --> 00:09:38,219
he'd be happy, so I'm--
228
00:09:41,203 --> 00:09:43,210
What the hell?
Wha--
229
00:09:44,252 --> 00:09:46,852
Hey! Perkins! What are
you doing with my bear?
230
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:49,357
I've been playing skee ball for, like,
two hours trying to win that for Nadia.
231
00:09:49,369 --> 00:09:51,151
I just bought it for 50 bucks.
232
00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:53,956
When I was a kid, I taught myself
how to make out on this bear,
233
00:09:53,987 --> 00:09:55,976
pretended it was Cockroach
from The Cosby Show.
234
00:09:56,005 --> 00:09:59,497
Hey, what's going on here?
Why does blossom have my bear?
235
00:09:59,529 --> 00:10:02,349
I bought it for myself,
but apparently,
236
00:10:02,367 --> 00:10:03,974
he was trying to win it
for you, so I'm sorry.
237
00:10:03,992 --> 00:10:07,307
I still got some tickets, though. I could
get you, uh, a ninja turtle balloon
238
00:10:07,325 --> 00:10:09,511
or Cliffhanger on VHS.
239
00:10:09,538 --> 00:10:13,588
Oh, that's so sweet, but you're
basically offering me garbage.
240
00:10:13,606 --> 00:10:15,042
Let's just skate.
241
00:10:16,205 --> 00:10:19,724
That bear was the only thing she was
gonna have to remember me by in Rwanda.
242
00:10:19,743 --> 00:10:22,244
And if I know anything
about Rwanda, and I don't,
243
00:10:22,271 --> 00:10:25,203
I bet it's full of rich guys
who'll buy her whatever she wants.
244
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:33,208
Hunting.
No quarters required.
245
00:10:35,089 --> 00:10:36,295
Hang on.
246
00:10:36,321 --> 00:10:38,330
Do you have a license
to hunt at night?
247
00:10:38,361 --> 00:10:40,347
'Cause you need a license.
248
00:10:43,011 --> 00:10:47,164
[Both laugh]
249
00:10:48,227 --> 00:10:50,335
I thought you were serious.
250
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,835
Come on now. You know
I don't give a fuck.
251
00:10:53,628 --> 00:10:55,315
As Ronald Reagan would say,
252
00:10:55,340 --> 00:10:59,927
"Well, mommy, I believe
voting rights are important."
253
00:10:59,946 --> 00:11:01,946
Does anyone else
think it's hot in here?
254
00:11:02,007 --> 00:11:03,145
These overalls
are really starchy.
255
00:11:03,157 --> 00:11:05,643
Yeah, maybe that's 'cause
I turned up the heat to 90,
256
00:11:05,655 --> 00:11:09,023
and, uh, oh, the knob
broke off in my hand.
257
00:11:09,071 --> 00:11:10,952
[Chuckles] Oops.
258
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,765
Well, speaking of heat,
259
00:11:12,792 --> 00:11:15,413
we should discuss
America's white-hot passion
260
00:11:15,432 --> 00:11:18,238
for voting rights and the men and
women who help protect them,
261
00:11:18,256 --> 00:11:22,465
like the local city councilwoman who is
starving and thinking about her husband's
262
00:11:22,484 --> 00:11:25,396
Reservoir Dog- themed birthday cake
and wanting to eat it really badly.
263
00:11:25,421 --> 00:11:27,184
Oh, this is not a good sign.
264
00:11:27,211 --> 00:11:29,222
Once she starts thinking
about birthday cake,
265
00:11:29,242 --> 00:11:32,701
she's basically useless until
she eats birthday cake.
266
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,856
Democracy is not unlike a cake.
267
00:11:34,887 --> 00:11:37,659
It's layered, delicious,
chocolate, and I want some.
268
00:11:37,689 --> 00:11:40,394
Okay, she's fading. Ben, we
need to find a way to smuggle
269
00:11:40,419 --> 00:11:42,995
some mineral oil drops
onto her tongue.
270
00:11:43,352 --> 00:11:45,270
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Excuse me.
271
00:11:45,293 --> 00:11:46,800
What the hell
are you people doing here?
272
00:11:46,812 --> 00:11:49,150
We represent the citizens
of former Eagleton.
273
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:52,770
We're here to support Leslie Knope
for preserving our voting rights.
274
00:11:52,815 --> 00:11:54,006
Thank you!
275
00:11:54,150 --> 00:11:56,386
You are all warriors
of democracy.
276
00:11:56,741 --> 00:12:00,327
You know, it was the first mayor
of Pawnee, in 1817,
277
00:12:00,348 --> 00:12:03,241
who said, "All we have
is the right to vote
278
00:12:03,413 --> 00:12:05,482
and the right to kill Indians
without consequence."
279
00:12:05,521 --> 00:12:09,159
And I believe that half of that
statement is still true today.
280
00:12:09,184 --> 00:12:11,542
[Cheers and applause]
281
00:12:11,836 --> 00:12:12,855
All right!
282
00:12:12,887 --> 00:12:14,416
Second wind!
283
00:12:16,044 --> 00:12:17,000
[Bangs]
284
00:12:17,025 --> 00:12:18,758
Andy, I know you're in there.
285
00:12:19,331 --> 00:12:20,826
Andy, come on.
286
00:12:24,373 --> 00:12:25,864
Oh, hey.
287
00:12:26,226 --> 00:12:27,783
I was just--
288
00:12:28,092 --> 00:12:30,992
just here in this dumpster
'cause I jumped in.
289
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,841
Get out!
We need to talk.
290
00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:34,757
About what?
291
00:12:35,674 --> 00:12:39,999
Fresh air, real weapons,
an honest kill.
292
00:12:40,729 --> 00:12:43,899
There is no substitute
for the real thing.
293
00:12:46,637 --> 00:12:48,556
You want to go back and play
that video game, don't you?
294
00:12:48,585 --> 00:12:50,671
Yes! Damn it!
295
00:12:52,176 --> 00:12:57,204
It is so inspiring to see Eagletonians
putting aside their prejudices.
296
00:12:57,238 --> 00:13:01,918
With support like this, Leslie Knope may
stand a fighting chance on recall day.
297
00:13:01,961 --> 00:13:04,182
- Permission to hug you.
- Granted.
298
00:13:05,234 --> 00:13:08,867
I should mention, though, that
we're not voting to keep Leslie.
299
00:13:09,210 --> 00:13:09,887
What?
300
00:13:09,903 --> 00:13:13,981
We want someone from Eagleton to represent
our interests on the new city council.
301
00:13:14,003 --> 00:13:16,321
Sir, I formally revoke our hug.
302
00:13:16,340 --> 00:13:18,171
Well, you can't.
It happened.
303
00:13:18,194 --> 00:13:21,566
We stand on the side
of Rosa Parks,
304
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:24,051
and Gandhi, and Team Aniston.
305
00:13:24,074 --> 00:13:30,931
One small vote for Pawnee is one
giant leap of voting for mankind.
306
00:13:31,863 --> 00:13:32,713
Hey!
307
00:13:32,732 --> 00:13:34,620
Hey, you're not allowed to
receive help from the crowd.
308
00:13:34,652 --> 00:13:36,483
That's strike two.
[Hits gong]
309
00:13:37,369 --> 00:13:40,691
Hey, man, leave my gong alone.
The reverb is the best part.
310
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:44,518
If I save your right to vote, you're
gonna vote for someone from Eagleton?
311
00:13:44,547 --> 00:13:46,298
[Cheers and applause]
312
00:13:46,388 --> 00:13:48,882
All: Eagleton! Eagleton!
313
00:13:49,834 --> 00:13:52,205
- Hey, Knope! Wrap it up!
- I'm not gonna yield.
314
00:13:52,237 --> 00:13:54,425
I just--I need some time to think.
315
00:13:54,693 --> 00:13:57,330
And because I must keep talking,
I'm gonna think out loud.
316
00:13:57,358 --> 00:14:00,879
Okay, if Eagletonians
vote for someone else,
317
00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:04,777
then it would be in my best
interest to stop, right?
318
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:06,086
So they can't vote.
319
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,793
Uh, da-doy.
320
00:14:07,908 --> 00:14:10,640
- Yield.
- Or I keep going,
321
00:14:10,770 --> 00:14:14,115
because the right to vote is
fundamental in any democracy,
322
00:14:14,134 --> 00:14:16,084
and this is bigger
than me or anyone.
323
00:14:16,115 --> 00:14:17,771
I don't care if I lose.
324
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:20,388
No one prevents people
in my town from voting.
325
00:14:20,450 --> 00:14:21,684
Not on my watch.
326
00:14:22,281 --> 00:14:23,487
The filibuster is on!
327
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,007
All: Yeah!
328
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:26,307
[Cheers and applause]
329
00:14:27,331 --> 00:14:28,831
I can't go back to London.
330
00:14:28,877 --> 00:14:31,333
I'm totally in over my
head on this project.
331
00:14:31,346 --> 00:14:33,098
Every day, someone
comes up to me and says,
332
00:14:33,126 --> 00:14:35,064
"I need your approval
on this, Mr. Dwyer."
333
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,720
"I need your
signature, Mr. Dwyer."
334
00:14:36,744 --> 00:14:38,083
"That's not a
toilet, Mr. Dwyer."
335
00:14:38,108 --> 00:14:40,383
But you said everything
was going awesome.
336
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:44,045
- You said you were like Chuck Norris.
- I am, but I'm like Chuck Norris now--
337
00:14:44,063 --> 00:14:48,572
some old guy with a beard who used to be
good at karate but became a dumb has-been
338
00:14:48,615 --> 00:14:52,476
and is scared and confused
about his big London job.
339
00:14:52,506 --> 00:14:55,600
- Okay. - The parallels between
he and I are very eerie.
340
00:14:55,625 --> 00:14:58,208
I'm gonna tell you a secret
about everyone else's job.
341
00:14:58,253 --> 00:14:59,238
Okay.
342
00:14:59,262 --> 00:15:01,381
No one knows what they're doing.
343
00:15:01,475 --> 00:15:03,994
I don't know how to run an
animal control department.
344
00:15:04,022 --> 00:15:07,560
Half the documents I get I put right into
the shredder because they're so boring.
345
00:15:07,587 --> 00:15:09,638
But you seem like you do
know what you're doing.
346
00:15:09,666 --> 00:15:11,423
Yeah, I seem like it.
347
00:15:11,472 --> 00:15:15,132
Deep down, everyone is just faking
it until they figure it out.
348
00:15:16,573 --> 00:15:20,275
And you will too, because you are
awesome and everyone else sucks.
349
00:15:22,346 --> 00:15:25,657
- 30 minutes to go.
- Oh, God, it's so hot.
350
00:15:25,971 --> 00:15:28,213
Almost as hot as the flames
351
00:15:28,247 --> 00:15:31,960
that Eagleton would have gone
down in if I had not saved them.
352
00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:36,060
[Blender whirs]
353
00:15:36,673 --> 00:15:38,543
Mm, mm, mm.
354
00:15:38,712 --> 00:15:44,614
- That's... - How I know you would
love an ice-cold frozen marg.
355
00:15:44,723 --> 00:15:47,048
All I want
is the promise of democracy.
356
00:15:47,134 --> 00:15:48,297
Sure about that?
357
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,340
- I want that marg.
- I know you do.
358
00:15:50,359 --> 00:15:52,286
- I want that Margarita.
- Oh, it's gonna be so good.
359
00:15:52,311 --> 00:15:54,398
So cold.
It's so cold.
360
00:15:54,426 --> 00:15:57,218
- I want to drink it.
- Make that heat go away!
361
00:15:57,411 --> 00:15:58,926
Come on, get!
362
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:01,584
Come on, girl.
Get!
363
00:16:01,631 --> 00:16:03,515
Give me that Margarita!
364
00:16:04,123 --> 00:16:05,398
No!
365
00:16:05,792 --> 00:16:06,875
I want votes.
366
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,963
[Crowd agreeing]
367
00:16:10,816 --> 00:16:14,194
Excuse me, worker, bring me a
bucket of beers and four hot dogs.
368
00:16:14,212 --> 00:16:15,177
Please, and thank you.
369
00:16:15,195 --> 00:16:17,335
Why are you covered in blood?
370
00:16:17,348 --> 00:16:19,266
Don't worry.
It's not human.
371
00:16:19,817 --> 00:16:23,601
I hope you've made peace with
your God, small electronic deer.
372
00:16:23,773 --> 00:16:25,707
[Gunshot effects]
Kill it.
373
00:16:26,129 --> 00:16:27,544
Ann, I need that bear.
374
00:16:27,556 --> 00:16:30,731
I got to give Nadia something awesome so
she'll remember me when she's in Africa.
375
00:16:30,765 --> 00:16:34,537
Tom, bear or no bear,
she clearly likes you.
376
00:16:34,968 --> 00:16:38,887
Actually, how do you even get girls
like her-- or me-- to go out with you?
377
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:42,019
Scientists say the emotions of love and
hate are very close to each other.
378
00:16:42,144 --> 00:16:43,448
That's what I tell women.
379
00:16:43,683 --> 00:16:45,814
The point is, she's
leaving in two days.
380
00:16:45,845 --> 00:16:47,237
You want her to remember you?
381
00:16:47,262 --> 00:16:50,159
Go spend time with her and do
something memorable, dummy!
382
00:16:50,183 --> 00:16:51,469
Thanks, Ann.
383
00:16:51,683 --> 00:16:54,672
I know conversations like this are hard for
you 'cause you still have feelings for me,
384
00:16:54,691 --> 00:16:56,547
but you'll land on
your feet, kid.
385
00:16:56,579 --> 00:16:58,854
- Run or I punch you.
- No punchies!
386
00:16:58,969 --> 00:17:00,260
[Gunshot effects]
387
00:17:01,481 --> 00:17:03,591
Okay, bye for real this time.
388
00:17:06,163 --> 00:17:07,507
Wait, wait, wait.
389
00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:10,822
I made you five bologna sandwiches in case
you get hungry on the way to the airport.
390
00:17:10,849 --> 00:17:13,728
- Did you--
- Yes, I used cookies instead of bread.
391
00:17:13,772 --> 00:17:15,985
You think of everything.
I love you.
392
00:17:16,021 --> 00:17:17,436
Love you too.
393
00:17:23,604 --> 00:17:25,299
Are you kidding me?
394
00:17:25,423 --> 00:17:28,425
- Andy!
- Ha! Ha! Found it!
395
00:17:28,452 --> 00:17:31,249
I got--I left my wallet
in here earlier, I guess.
396
00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:33,234
Whoo! All good now.
397
00:17:33,827 --> 00:17:34,888
Ooh, look!
Noodles!
398
00:17:34,906 --> 00:17:37,501
No, no, no, babe. Babe,
don't touch those.
399
00:17:37,717 --> 00:17:41,534
I've read the entire charter. There's no
other way to get her a bathroom break...
400
00:17:42,249 --> 00:17:46,443
unless we bring the
bathroom to her--
401
00:17:46,474 --> 00:17:47,492
that's nothing.
402
00:17:47,521 --> 00:17:48,802
I mean,
she's not gonna make it.
403
00:17:48,816 --> 00:17:51,187
Look at her, she's dancing
around like she's a character
404
00:17:51,202 --> 00:17:53,219
in one of those
Peanuts cartoons.
405
00:17:53,314 --> 00:17:56,219
Okay, in these last few minutes,
406
00:17:56,241 --> 00:18:00,885
I would like to talk about
the voting rights act of 1968
407
00:18:01,005 --> 00:18:04,214
while clenching every
muscle in my body.
408
00:18:04,237 --> 00:18:05,371
Sound good?
409
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:07,211
Hey, Knope, how you
feeling over there?
410
00:18:07,232 --> 00:18:09,459
You go pee-pee?
Pee-pee times?
411
00:18:09,474 --> 00:18:11,374
- Make wee-wee?
- Ten more seconds.
412
00:18:11,402 --> 00:18:15,097
All: Four, three, two, one!
413
00:18:15,123 --> 00:18:16,172
[Bangs gavel]
414
00:18:16,472 --> 00:18:18,472
This session is adjourned.
415
00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:21,063
All pending matters are tabled.
416
00:18:21,129 --> 00:18:22,407
[Cheers and applause]
417
00:18:22,432 --> 00:18:23,632
Yes!
418
00:18:24,836 --> 00:18:25,681
You were amazing.
419
00:18:25,712 --> 00:18:27,587
I love you, but move! I have
to go to the whiz palace.
420
00:18:27,610 --> 00:18:28,515
Oh, wait!
421
00:18:28,533 --> 00:18:30,088
All: Eagleton! Eagleton!
422
00:18:30,111 --> 00:18:33,410
Oh!
My beautiful curls!
423
00:18:34,282 --> 00:18:37,230
She didn't have time to hug
me, but she could do that?
424
00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:41,832
Hey, Ann, can I talk to you
for a second? About Tom?
425
00:18:41,863 --> 00:18:42,948
Sure.
426
00:18:42,975 --> 00:18:45,875
- You guys look like you're having fun.
- Yeah, no, I really like him.
427
00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:48,645
I just wanted to say that
I think you're really cool,
428
00:18:48,676 --> 00:18:51,961
and the fact that Tom dated you makes
me think he's a really good guy.
429
00:18:51,974 --> 00:18:53,642
That's so sweet.
430
00:18:54,527 --> 00:18:56,370
Oh, okay.
431
00:18:57,162 --> 00:18:59,543
- Wha--what are you-- What the hell?
- Now!
432
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:01,779
Sorry, Ann, this is on you.
You told us to make a memory.
433
00:19:01,791 --> 00:19:03,699
- There's your money back.
- Let go!
434
00:19:03,814 --> 00:19:05,281
Suck it!
435
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,799
This is $8!
436
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:11,100
- Man, that was so much fun.
- Yeah.
437
00:19:11,125 --> 00:19:14,494
Together, we truly did steal a
toy from your pregnant friend.
438
00:19:14,767 --> 00:19:17,011
- Hey, can I ask you something?
- Mm-hmm.
439
00:19:17,043 --> 00:19:20,437
I know we just met, like,
two weeks ago and whatever,
440
00:19:20,455 --> 00:19:23,118
but is there any chance maybe,
441
00:19:23,130 --> 00:19:26,103
- when you get back, we can maybe--
- Ugh. Clingy.
442
00:19:26,491 --> 00:19:29,141
Oh, no. Sorry.
No, no, no, no.
443
00:19:29,163 --> 00:19:30,702
I'm kidding.
444
00:19:31,328 --> 00:19:32,829
Of course I'll call you
when I come back.
445
00:19:32,857 --> 00:19:34,595
- Really?
- Yeah.
446
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:37,190
So long, suckers!
447
00:19:37,316 --> 00:19:39,518
- Hey! Quick!
- What?
448
00:19:40,165 --> 00:19:43,183
[Gunshot effects]
449
00:19:43,208 --> 00:19:43,902
Ooh!
450
00:19:43,927 --> 00:19:46,148
- Come on, come on, come on, come on!
- Now that's what I call shooting.
451
00:19:46,156 --> 00:19:47,856
- Come on!
- That's a new record!
452
00:19:47,874 --> 00:19:49,307
Hey!
Look at that!
453
00:19:49,326 --> 00:19:51,588
You finally made
it in the top 10.
454
00:19:51,673 --> 00:19:53,329
Now you can
enter your initials.
455
00:19:53,474 --> 00:19:55,105
My initials are private.
456
00:19:55,184 --> 00:19:57,377
Then just put in
any three letters.
457
00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:03,560
[Gunshot effects]
458
00:20:03,659 --> 00:20:05,293
Ass.
459
00:20:05,464 --> 00:20:08,576
[Both laugh]
460
00:20:09,159 --> 00:20:10,476
Oh, my God!
That was epic!
461
00:20:10,519 --> 00:20:13,415
I was peeing so freakin' hard,
it was like a jacuzzi jet or--
462
00:20:13,427 --> 00:20:15,671
- Hi, Leslie.
- Hey! Ingrid!
463
00:20:16,102 --> 00:20:17,725
I wasn't talking about
the velocity of my pee
464
00:20:17,743 --> 00:20:20,438
because you are a very
smart and classy lady.
465
00:20:20,456 --> 00:20:23,575
Ben, you remember Ingrid de
Forest from the former Eagleton.
466
00:20:23,602 --> 00:20:27,994
Yes, she was just telling me she's been
nominated to run against you in the recall.
467
00:20:28,798 --> 00:20:30,598
Wow.
Buzz kill.
468
00:20:30,619 --> 00:20:32,628
I know you must hate me
right now, Leslie,
469
00:20:32,646 --> 00:20:34,066
and that's justified,
470
00:20:34,089 --> 00:20:37,281
but I need to thank you for
what you just did in there.
471
00:20:37,505 --> 00:20:39,932
Not the forceful urination.
The filibuster.
472
00:20:40,001 --> 00:20:40,821
Right, yeah.
473
00:20:40,843 --> 00:20:44,138
It was incredibly courageous,
and it was selfless.
474
00:20:44,387 --> 00:20:45,704
And if I do win,
475
00:20:45,734 --> 00:20:47,884
I'm gonna have very big
roller skates to fill.
476
00:20:47,934 --> 00:20:51,470
Could I take you out for
a celebratory plate of--
477
00:20:51,489 --> 00:20:52,954
I think you call them waffles?
478
00:20:52,973 --> 00:20:55,284
Wow, that is the best offer
you could ever make,
479
00:20:55,312 --> 00:20:58,222
but I had to miss my husband's
birthday party for this,
480
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,994
so I think I'll be spending
the evening with him.
481
00:21:01,022 --> 00:21:03,157
- A rain check, maybe.
- Please.
482
00:21:04,362 --> 00:21:07,281
I'm sorry your birthday
party got all screwed up.
483
00:21:07,691 --> 00:21:09,405
Maybe I should put those
roller skates back on.
484
00:21:09,430 --> 00:21:11,595
Well, you must be exhausted. We
don't have to go to the party.
485
00:21:11,616 --> 00:21:13,584
Oh, we're not going
to the party.
486
00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:14,986
We're going home.
487
00:21:15,010 --> 00:21:18,281
Then why would you need to
put on roller... skates?
488
00:21:18,322 --> 00:21:20,547
Oh, yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
489
00:21:20,593 --> 00:21:24,091
We're just-- we're
just--skates...
490
00:21:24,262 --> 00:21:29,262
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