1
00:00:02,202 --> 00:00:04,295
Are you ready?
Yes.
2
00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:07,238
No. Babe.
Are you ready?
3
00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:08,632
Yes?
4
00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:10,801
I got fired from running
the Sweetums Foundation.
5
00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:12,504
Thanks to me.
Sorry, again.
6
00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:14,547
Hey, blessing in disguise.
7
00:00:14,614 --> 00:00:15,911
I took a job at
this accounting firm.
8
00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:18,746
They tried to hire me three times.
I finally gave in.
9
00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:21,343
But I've had a week
off in between jobs,
10
00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:24,356
and I've been cooking up
something pretty big.
11
00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:26,289
The last time he
was in between jobs,
12
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,293
he got deep into claymation.
13
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:31,091
So this should be
different. Hopefully.
14
00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:32,389
(QUIETLY IMITATING
EXPLOSION)
15
00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:34,899
Presenting
The Cones of Dunshire,
16
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:37,630
a brand new gaming experience.
17
00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:39,132
Eight to twelve players.
18
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,638
Two wizards, a maverick...
19
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:41,765
(IN GRUFF VOICE)
The arbiter,
20
00:00:41,841 --> 00:00:44,207
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Two warriors,
a corporal, and a ledgerman.
21
00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:45,869
Now, the ledgerman
just keeps score.
22
00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:47,742
And he wears this hat.
23
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:48,872
Oh, boy.
24
00:00:48,948 --> 00:00:52,076
Now, the object is to accumulate cones.
Four cones wins.
25
00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:55,713
But in order to get a cone, you
have to build a civilization.
26
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:59,088
The other amazing thing
is the challenge play.
27
00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:00,820
Actually, let me tell you
more about the trivia cards,
28
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,657
because you're going to need to
know about roadblocks first.
29
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:03,718
No, never mind.
30
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:04,786
The thing about
the challenge play
31
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:06,126
is that it's basically the game
32
00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:07,992
in reverse.
33
00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:10,867
Then, you roll three dice to see
how many dice you roll with.
34
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:12,700
Sixteen. Perfect.
Lots of choices.
35
00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:15,798
Okay. Each turn goes
roll, bye, action.
36
00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:17,866
I mean, obviously, this will be
much taller in the real game.
37
00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:19,502
But the corporal can veto.
38
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:21,137
This should be green, too.
How did this happen?
39
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:23,444
Are the cones a metaphor?
Well, yes and no.
40
00:01:23,516 --> 00:01:24,881
What is this called again?
41
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:26,407
The Cones of Dunshire.
42
00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:27,612
Oh, my God.
43
00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:30,152
The maverick should be able to trade
lumber for agriculture credits.
44
00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:32,054
How have I not
thought of this before?
45
00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:35,552
This is nothing, right?
46
00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:37,457
When do you go back to work again?
Tomorrow.
47
00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:39,361
It's fine. I'll just throw
this in the garbage.
48
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:50,000
Ripped By mstoll
49
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,045
As soon as Knope is gone,
50
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,351
these are going up
all over chambers.
51
00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:04,981
Jamm for three!
52
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:06,082
Ha-ha! What, are you
53
00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:08,491
trying to build a house
with those bricks?
54
00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:10,188
The girl is attacking me.
55
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:11,921
Any new business
before we adjourn?
56
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,657
Yes. I have one.
57
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,461
The Pawnee Commons.
(ALL GROAN)
58
00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:17,332
The money for
the Pawnee Commons,
59
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,233
AKA the greatest
future park in the world.
60
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:20,966
AKA my personal dream project...
61
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,598
AKA...
(BLOWING RASPBERRY)
62
00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:25,200
Is currently in
a discretionary fund.
63
00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:26,870
I'd like to move
it to a lock box
64
00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:28,571
to ensure that it is
used for that project.
65
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:31,310
The thing is, Leslie,
this kind of decision is...
66
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,181
It's not really
up to you anymore.
67
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:36,484
Because the voters, to use a
technical political term,
68
00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:38,456
gave you the stanky boot.
69
00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:40,493
But we'll keep your
money safe, baby girl.
70
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,126
What, you think
I'm going to use it
71
00:02:42,262 --> 00:02:43,661
to put a new limestone
shower in my office?
72
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:44,754
Yeah. Now, I do.
73
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,425
I propose that we table
this discussion until,
74
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,900
let's say, the second
Knope is gone.
75
00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:51,903
Later, bunheads. Glass!
76
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,039
Video Ron Demand.
77
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,508
What you carrying, my dude?
78
00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,704
The time has come
to sell my cabin.
79
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,939
But I haven't had much
luck finding a buyer.
80
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,280
"For sale. Small house.
Location, forest."
81
00:03:05,418 --> 00:03:06,715
It's a little wordy,
don't you think?
82
00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:08,378
"Current owner will not clean up
83
00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:12,083
"shotgun shells or
animal carcasses."
84
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:13,386
What the hell is
wrong with you, Swanson?
85
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:14,892
Fine, I'll clean up
the shotgun shells,
86
00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:17,691
but the carcasses remain
to fertilize my berry patch.
87
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,595
If you really want to unload
that little horror cabin,
88
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:22,157
you're going to need a
professional to stage it properly.
89
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:26,934
Lucky for you, I recently
got my real estate license.
90
00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:28,496
Spladow!
91
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:30,269
TOM: Check it.
92
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:31,570
"Regal Meagle Realty.
93
00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:33,907
(MOUTHING)
"Find your castle."
94
00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:36,848
Fine. I suppose
I could use some help.
95
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:38,577
Yo, Donna. Let me get
a little skin in the game?
96
00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:40,380
Maybe split that commission?
All right.
97
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:42,819
Show me what you got,
I'll split that commish.
98
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,322
♪ Split that commish ♪
99
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,358
The question I
always ask myself is,
100
00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:48,483
what kind of mogul should I be?
101
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:51,086
Fashion mogul,
energy drink mogul.
102
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:54,065
I even thought about downhill skiing.
A mogul mogul.
103
00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:55,998
But real estate mogul.
104
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,899
That's a hot mogul right now.
105
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:01,767
Ben Wyatt, reporting for duty.
106
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,172
How are you doing, Barney?
Good to see you again.
107
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,542
I just can't believe
it's finally happening.
108
00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:10,874
Ted! He's here!
He really came!
109
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,915
Hello, Ben. I'm Frank.
110
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,386
I took the job when you
passed it up last time.
111
00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:16,444
Heard a lot about you.
112
00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:17,988
All good things, I hope.
113
00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:19,455
A little too good.
114
00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,015
Let's see if you
live up to the hype.
115
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,083
(CHUCKLES)
116
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:23,993
I'm not joking.
117
00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:25,519
Oh.
118
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,359
Frank seems cool.
119
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,228
Tell everybody in
Michigan I said, hi,
120
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:33,295
and tell your mom that I love the
banana cake she posted on Pinterest.
121
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,874
The father of your child is here.
I have to go.
122
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,034
I'll talk to you soon.
I love you.
123
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,134
Is that Ann?
124
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,735
I hope you were speaking
to her in a calming voice
125
00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:41,404
'cause babies can
hear everything.
126
00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:44,106
Baby, if you can
still hear me, I love you.
127
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:45,844
The phone is hung up. Oh, sorry.
128
00:04:45,918 --> 00:04:48,614
You got my message about
Jamm being a dink-head?
129
00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:51,248
Yes. But as city manager,
I can't play sides.
130
00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:53,849
And I think all of our heads can
be a little dinky at times.
131
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:55,553
Fine, but his is the dinkiest.
132
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,524
Mmm. And I would know
'cause I'm keeping score.
133
00:04:57,597 --> 00:04:59,531
Ever since I
started City Council,
134
00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:02,591
I have gone head-to-head
with Jamm 112 times.
135
00:05:03,102 --> 00:05:05,900
He has won 56 times,
I have won 56 times.
136
00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:08,801
I will not lose our last battle.
137
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,103
Will you help me?
138
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,370
No.
139
00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:16,374
Oh. The way you
stood up like that,
140
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:17,711
I thought it was going
to go a different way.
141
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:18,842
No, I can't help directly.
142
00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:22,410
But I am on your side, and I will
assist you in any way that I can.
143
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:26,154
Maybe I can mediate. Like Dr.
Phil. Only qualified.
144
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:31,053
So, what's the story, Ron? Diane
making you sell this place?
145
00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:32,119
Not at all.
146
00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:33,927
Recently, I purchased
a new cabin
147
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,762
big enough for the whole family.
148
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:39,166
I just can't justify
owning four cabins.
149
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,064
Two cabins.
150
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:45,570
The new cabin I bought has a
great tire swing for the girls,
151
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:48,637
access to a lake for
all the kids to play in.
152
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,784
Plus, it doesn't
have these razor sharp
153
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:56,117
perimeter defense planks
sticking out of the ground.
154
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,248
I usually get a five
percent commission,
155
00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:00,224
but I'll do it for three.
Friends and family discount.
156
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,590
Make it five.
157
00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:04,289
I don't want you getting any
ideas about us being friends.
158
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,422
Respect.
159
00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:08,058
Donna, baby, for the fireplace,
I'm thinking fake antlers.
160
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:11,228
But what kind of scarves do we
want to hang off the fake antlers?
161
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:12,328
Oh, duh!
Crocheted.
162
00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:13,496
Mos def.
163
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:17,009
That will look legit next to those
antique "Visit France" posters.
164
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:18,304
(GROWLING)
165
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,039
Ron, you want to stay
outside and do nothing
166
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,808
while they make your
cabin look like garbage?
167
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,644
I'd like that very much.
168
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,115
We can watch
the shadows get longer.
169
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:26,616
Okay.
170
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,877
Wow! You guys
sure take
171
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,014
the start-up paperwork
seriously around here.
172
00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:33,456
Sorry to start
you out like this.
173
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:34,891
And on a Friday, no less.
174
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:37,588
But it's our toughest case.
175
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:40,791
Three competing family
trusts, a contested will.
176
00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:43,531
It's a real puzzler.
177
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:47,202
So, let's see what you got.
178
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:48,766
"Genius."
179
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:54,108
If I'm murdered tonight, start the
investigation with those two guys.
180
00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:04,284
What the hell are you
nerds doing here?
181
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,951
We're not done talking about the lock box.
This isn't over.
182
00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:08,288
And I'm here to mediate.
183
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,419
(BLOWING WHISTLE)
184
00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:10,928
You can't just show up
at my door like this.
185
00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,521
Look, I know we've
had our differences,
186
00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,189
but this is very
important to me.
187
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,031
And I'm not leaving
until we hash this out.
188
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,297
I respect the moxie, Knope.
189
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:19,668
You can come in for a minute.
190
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:21,904
Shoes off. This is a
house of respect.
191
00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:23,498
I don't need to do that.
My feet are very clean.
192
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:25,473
No shoes, you lose.
193
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:26,972
"No shoes, you lose"?
194
00:07:27,046 --> 00:07:29,071
That means we should
have shoes, then. Right?
195
00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:30,947
No shoes...
196
00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:32,840
Mmm-hmm.
197
00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:36,887
Yeah, so this is
my weekend dojo.
198
00:07:37,256 --> 00:07:39,121
Sorry the place
is a bit of a mess.
199
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:41,123
My wife's in Oklahoma
for eight months.
200
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:44,326
Maybe forever. We'll see
if she forgives me.
201
00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:45,958
Who's that?
Michelle Wie?
202
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:48,466
It's not sexual. I'm just a
really big fan of her game.
203
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:49,626
Really?
Yeah.
204
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:52,068
'Cause in that picture,
she's wearing a bikini.
205
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:53,603
Yeah, thanks.
Photoshopped it myself.
206
00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:55,070
Fantastic.
207
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,609
This is about the time
I hit the hay. So...
208
00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:59,372
Why don't we all hit the hay?
209
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:01,003
We'll stay here,
get a good night's sleep,
210
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,775
and we can start
negotiations tomorrow.
211
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:05,282
We stopped at the outlet
mall on the way here.
212
00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:08,980
Got ourselves a sleeping bag,
a giant tin of caramel corn,
213
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,888
and an irregular
skirt from DKNY.
214
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,087
The hem is crooked,
but it was eight bucks.
215
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,628
The point is, I am not leaving
until I get that lock box.
216
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:18,527
Playing hardball, huh?
217
00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:20,156
Hey, no sweat off my sack.
218
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:21,359
You can take the couch
219
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:24,733
if you can get my exercise
equipment out of the way.
220
00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:28,907
I think I can handle it.
221
00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:38,714
How sweet is this
table, by the way, huh?
222
00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:40,718
Got it from an actual Benihana.
223
00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:43,050
Cost me four grand,
worth every penny.
224
00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:44,350
(SPATULA CLANGS)
Hai!
225
00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:45,947
Can I interest anyone
in an authentic
226
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,323
(IMITATING JAPANESE ACCENT)
A-Japanese a-break-a-fast?
227
00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:50,692
Scrambled eggs eaten
with chopsticks? Okay.
228
00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:51,752
Hai!
229
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,230
Maybe we should negotiate
while we're eating.
230
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,495
What's the rush? Plenty
of time for that later.
231
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,833
You know what might put
you in the mood to talk?
232
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:01,430
Is a couple of brewskis
233
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:05,944
and a calendar featuring some of
your favorite female wrestlers.
234
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,034
(WHISTLES)
235
00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:08,837
Oh, yeah.
236
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:10,746
Knope, you know the way
to a man's heart.
237
00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:13,114
Yeah, okay, let's talk.
You got it.
238
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:14,919
RON: These people
won't leave.
239
00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:16,818
One guy even looked
in the bathroom.
240
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,789
Yeah, that means
they like the place.
241
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:21,418
If you just leave them alone, I
think we might get some offers.
242
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:25,328
This evergreen scented candle should
help put people in the mood to buy.
243
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:28,731
You could just open the door and let
the actual smell of the pines in.
244
00:09:28,801 --> 00:09:30,792
Trees are sticky. And
they've got bugs in them.
245
00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:37,073
GIRL: This place
is so random.
246
00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:39,810
I don't know. It's kind of
in the middle of nowhere.
247
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:42,040
I know. That's the
hilarious part.
248
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:44,912
It's a joke how long
it takes to get here.
249
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,042
It's like a meta-cabin.
250
00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:47,244
(LAUGHING) Oh, yeah, it's meta.
251
00:09:47,386 --> 00:09:48,512
That's what I said.
Yeah.
252
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,715
I heard that Dave Eggers
wrote a short story
253
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:53,725
about this tape cassette that he
found under that tree over there.
254
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:55,420
My God.
What are you doing?
255
00:09:55,494 --> 00:09:56,961
Trying to get these
annoying dumdums
256
00:09:57,029 --> 00:09:58,428
to pay more money
for your cabin.
257
00:09:58,497 --> 00:09:59,759
Carry on.
258
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,324
My God, I heard that
259
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,630
Neko Case and Ben Gibbard
made out here once.
260
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:04,727
What?
261
00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:08,763
Saturday at the firm with Ben.
262
00:10:08,841 --> 00:10:12,242
Okay. We dissolve the
loan-out and file bankruptcy.
263
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,075
That way, only our clients
have claim to the assets.
264
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:16,906
Great idea.
265
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,448
That we had a month ago.
266
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,815
The problem is, the trust still
has claim to the property.
267
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,954
Then we dissolve the trust.
268
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:30,353
Clients A, B, and F,
they would have to agree.
269
00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:32,590
But if they went for it,
we could arbitrate.
270
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,893
He's right. We never
thought of that.
271
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:36,991
(GASPS)
272
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:38,058
Oh! Oh!
273
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:40,137
Ben. Ben.
Say it again.
274
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:44,174
But this time, I'm going to turn the
light on like you just had an idea.
275
00:10:44,243 --> 00:10:45,437
Sure, sure.
Yeah, I'm with you.
276
00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:46,535
Umm, okay.
277
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:47,635
Ah...
278
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:51,274
What if we dissolve the trust?
279
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:53,818
BARNEY: Yes! You just
cracked a case!
280
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,851
I'm just doing my job.
(LAUGHING)
281
00:10:56,922 --> 00:10:58,048
Okay, here's an idea.
282
00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:01,560
Maybe we name part of
the park the Jamm Zone.
283
00:11:01,627 --> 00:11:03,822
Yeah, Jamm could dig on that.
284
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,190
How about if, in the Jamm Zone,
285
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,491
there's no married
chicks allowed?
286
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:08,032
Caution, Jeremy.
287
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,933
I think there are people that will
find the no-married-chicks zone
288
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,334
both morally repugnant
and hard to enforce.
289
00:11:12,471 --> 00:11:13,802
All right.
290
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:17,472
Listen, let us celebrate
this progress by sharing
291
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:23,075
these authentic edamame
or Tokyo beans?
292
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:25,640
Now, I want you to be very
careful about eating these.
293
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:28,050
You eat the shells and
you throw the seeds out.
294
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,384
Wow! You have really immersed
yourself in Asian culture.
295
00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:33,550
Now, I think maybe we should
revisit the holding bond idea.
296
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:35,594
(GROANS) Lezzie, come on.
I'm getting bored.
297
00:11:35,661 --> 00:11:37,094
I mean, we've been
at this for hours.
298
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:38,152
Can we please take a break?
299
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:40,858
Perhaps he has a point.
And we've made some progress.
300
00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:42,992
Maybe we go home and take the
rest of it up on Monday.
301
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:44,969
No, I cannot wait until Monday.
I need to close this deal now.
302
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,629
So, I have an idea.
303
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,506
Let's have a change of venue and
keep negotiating while we have fun.
304
00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:54,740
If I remember correctly, you enjoy
the ancient art of karaoke.
305
00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:55,838
Yes?
306
00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:58,577
I do, and kudos on
that pronunciation.
307
00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,819
I remember your favorite duet.
308
00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:03,511
Maybe it's time to take
this party to Rydell High.
309
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:04,813
Whoa!
310
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,721
I cannot wait to
hear your Travolta.
311
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:09,761
No, no, no. I'm Sandra Dee.
That's more in my register.
312
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:11,857
You're Zuko.
313
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:16,996
♪ He got friendly
Holding my hand
314
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,702
♪ She got friendly
Down in the sand
315
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,534
♪ He was sweet
Just turned eighteen
316
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,907
♪ She was good
You know what I mean
317
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:29,038
Uh!
Uh!
318
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,845
♪ Summer heat
Boy and girl meet
319
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:35,683
♪ But the summer nights ♪
320
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,484
I would like to buy
five DVDs of this.
321
00:12:37,556 --> 00:12:40,650
No, 20. No. No, 60.
No, that's insane. 20.
322
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:48,760
Good news. We have
multiple bidders.
323
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,426
That guy's getting
his financials together.
324
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,130
Plans on tearing
the whole place down,
325
00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:53,228
just wants it for the land.
326
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,569
Why would he tear down
a perfectly good cabin?
327
00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:59,407
I think he's a developer, wants
to put in a luxury glamp ground.
328
00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:01,241
"Glamping" is glamour camping.
329
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:03,144
Heated tents,
catered meals, WiFi.
330
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:05,046
You're describing a hotel.
331
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:06,744
And I think we still have
traction with those two.
332
00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:08,411
Hey, man.
I love the mustache.
333
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:09,545
So funny.
334
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,351
You ever think about
twisting it up at the ends?
335
00:13:11,423 --> 00:13:12,685
Use a little beeswax?
336
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,282
The open house is now closed.
337
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,828
We are not accepting
bids at this time.
338
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:19,592
The sun sets in 95 minutes.
Good day.
339
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,791
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
340
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,470
That's part of the charm
of this whole place.
341
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:28,939
The cantankerous old coot who owns it.
It's authentic!
342
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:30,799
I've got to say, that was
pretty fun up there.
343
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:34,003
We have fun when we
collaborate, right?
344
00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:36,639
Working together?
Lock box? Right?
345
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,842
In, uh, some weird,
perverted, sexual way,
346
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,580
I'm going to miss you
when you're gone. Oh.
347
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:42,916
You are my nemesis.
348
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,819
You're the Superman
to my Lex Luthor.
349
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:46,585
You want to be Lex Luthor?
350
00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:49,718
Uh, yeah.
Lex Luthor is rich.
351
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:51,887
Okay. I can't
argue with that.
352
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:55,559
So, I did Zuko for you.
Now you give me the lock box.
353
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:58,194
Leslie put a beautiful cross
into the box, Jeremy.
354
00:13:58,270 --> 00:13:59,601
Time for you to head it in.
355
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:02,630
All right, Knope. What can I say?
You wore me down.
356
00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:06,974
I'll give you my word, and I will put
it in writing, so I can't back out.
357
00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:10,273
We won't touch
the money for one year.
358
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:13,147
And if the economy holds up, you
can start construction then.
359
00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:15,381
(BLOWING WHISTLE)
360
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:17,285
Leslie, you have your lock box.
361
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,051
And you scored a triple
dragon on your song.
362
00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:21,251
No. I cannot
wait a year.
363
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:24,023
I want to get started now. I want
construction started on Monday.
364
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:25,120
You have his word.
365
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,893
And this is riddled with spelling
errors, but it is binding.
366
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:29,229
It's not good enough.
367
00:14:29,301 --> 00:14:32,031
Jamm, I sang your stupid song.
368
00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:34,072
I ate your stupid,
fake Asian food.
369
00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:35,436
And by the way, you should know
370
00:14:35,507 --> 00:14:37,304
you don't make sushi
rolls out of tuna salad.
371
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,365
Maybe you don't.
372
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:40,071
I did practically
everything you wanted
373
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:41,839
and you won't just
give this to me today?
374
00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:43,108
Screw you.
375
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,474
(BLOWING WHISTLE)
376
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,710
You're giving a card to me?
377
00:14:45,784 --> 00:14:47,581
You left me no choice.
Oh, my God!
378
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,348
Please, could you excuse us?
Oh, my God.
379
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,990
Leslie, you should be happy.
380
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,492
You beat Jamm in
the final battle.
381
00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:58,920
Unless there's something
more going on here.
382
00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:00,363
Ann. This is about Ann.
383
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:01,864
Ann Perkins?
I love Ann Perkins.
384
00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:05,262
Pawnee Commons is why
I met Ann five years ago.
385
00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:07,066
And I know you guys
are talking about moving.
386
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:10,404
But I guess I thought if maybe Ann
came back from Michigan tomorrow
387
00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:14,708
and I was able to look into her
smoky, ethnically ambiguous eyes
388
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:17,078
and tell her that we were breaking
ground on a new park, she might...
389
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,884
She might want to stay.
390
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:21,977
Leslie, I'm sorry.
391
00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:24,682
Ann didn't just go to Ann
Arbor to visit family.
392
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,782
She went to sign
the lease on our new home.
393
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,986
Ann Arbor?
Sounds disgusting.
394
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:30,892
She already has family there.
395
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:33,397
And I have a new job lined up
at the University of Michigan.
396
00:15:33,465 --> 00:15:34,625
Go Blue.
397
00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:38,365
It's a good town. And it's a
great place to raise a family.
398
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,631
What is great about it?
399
00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:43,141
There's no JJ's Diner there. There's
no "Welcome to Pawnee" sign.
400
00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:46,405
I mean, the stupid state
is split up into two pieces.
401
00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:47,740
It's ridiculous.
402
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,177
Unexpected play here, Superman.
403
00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:51,375
Not exactly sure what you're going
for, but I dig your gambit.
404
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,441
There is no gambit here, Jamm.
405
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:56,488
And who sides with
Lex Luthor, by the way?
406
00:15:57,189 --> 00:16:00,181
You probably watch Million Dollar
Baby and root for the stool.
407
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:03,353
I haven't seen it. Not a
big Morgan Freeman guy.
408
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:05,224
I find his voice very grating.
409
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:08,323
I am leaving now. I am not moving.
I'm just going home.
410
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,226
Are you guys coming
back to my place?
411
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:11,961
Or are you guys going back to...
412
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:13,561
Are we wrapping up the weekend?
413
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:17,367
No?
414
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,470
♪ Need a cup
to perk me up
415
00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:23,010
♪ Coffee in
the morning ♪
416
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:24,174
ALL: Surprise!
417
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,408
Oh, my God!
418
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:26,781
(LAUGHING)
419
00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:27,944
I hope you don't mind.
420
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,988
We decided to throw
you a pizza party
421
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:32,113
to say congrats for
cracking the case.
422
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:34,250
Oh, my God, you guys.
423
00:16:34,626 --> 00:16:35,888
Let's see what we've got here.
424
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:39,296
Wait a second. That's not pizza.
Those are calzones!
425
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:40,457
(ALL LAUGHING)
426
00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:41,556
I love calzones!
427
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:42,724
We know!
428
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:46,331
I think it's safe to say
I made the right choice.
429
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:49,171
What's up, guys?
ALL: Hey!
430
00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:55,403
(MUSIC PLAYING)
431
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,243
BFF slideshow?
432
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:05,953
You know that even
after we leave Pawnee,
433
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:07,922
Ann will always be
your best friend.
434
00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:09,790
And it's not that long a trip.
435
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,022
It would be even faster
436
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,563
if the governor
would return my calls
437
00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:15,464
about my Pawnee-to-Ann
Arbor bullet train idea.
438
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:16,865
You know, I went
to Jamm's with you
439
00:17:16,935 --> 00:17:20,871
because I also want to leave
the right kind of legacy.
440
00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:22,900
And that includes
Pawnee Commons.
441
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:24,704
I think I burned
that bridge with Jamm.
442
00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,572
We're not going to
get that lock box.
443
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:29,045
And I am not singing
Beauty School Dropout.
444
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:31,344
It's sexist and I
don't do slow jams.
445
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:33,248
I have an idea.
446
00:17:33,318 --> 00:17:34,307
Um...
447
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:37,213
And I'd like you to
consider it a goodbye gift.
448
00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:38,278
From me to you.
449
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,793
No, thank you.
I will let him know.
450
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:45,153
That was that couple you
liked at the open house.
451
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:46,527
I despised them.
452
00:17:46,598 --> 00:17:50,967
They just came back with a new
offer and jacked that shizz up.
453
00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:52,901
Way over asking price.
454
00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:55,871
Ron, who cares who they are?
That's a massive bid.
455
00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:56,930
I'm going to be a mogul.
456
00:17:57,009 --> 00:18:01,343
I bought that cabin 18 years ago for
$2,200. I do not care about the money.
457
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:03,005
I can't even understand what
you're saying right now.
458
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,846
That cabin served an
important purpose for me,
459
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:09,081
as a quiet refuge from the
nonsense of modern life.
460
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:12,419
I'd like the next owners to
understand and share that purpose.
461
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:15,654
Find me someone like that,
and I'll happily sell.
462
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:17,150
I'll buy it.
463
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:18,854
You can't afford that house.
464
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,364
Can you afford that house?
465
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:21,894
What would you use it for?
466
00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:25,403
I'd go up there and
take Andy and Champion
467
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:28,440
and just get away from everyone
else and look at spiders.
468
00:18:28,507 --> 00:18:30,907
And it's where I'd bury the
bodies of that annoying couple
469
00:18:30,976 --> 00:18:32,068
after I murder them.
470
00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:33,437
Here's my offer.
471
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:36,876
I will give you
everything in my purse.
472
00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:41,318
Eight dollars, a bunch
of loose cough drops,
473
00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:43,684
and Larry's asthma inhaler.
474
00:18:43,922 --> 00:18:45,480
Thank God.
I've been looking for that.
475
00:18:45,557 --> 00:18:47,457
Larry, this is part of a
real estate transaction now.
476
00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:48,959
You have no legal claim to it.
477
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,858
Sorry, I had no idea.
478
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,095
This is the best
offer I've heard yet.
479
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:56,133
DONNA: Ahh...
You tripping right now.
480
00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:57,724
Sold.
481
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:58,859
Don't even trip.
482
00:18:58,937 --> 00:19:00,336
Your commission.
483
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:01,837
Thanks a lot.
484
00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:05,570
Your share, mogul.
485
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:07,602
I'm about to
play golf with a guy
486
00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:09,270
who was almost
on The Apprentice.
487
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:10,608
So, this better be good.
488
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:13,144
You give Leslie her lock box,
489
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:15,243
and you get me in
your hip pocket.
490
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,584
Starting in my next
term as city manager,
491
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:21,649
I will give you
one huge I Owe You,
492
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:23,623
no questions asked.
493
00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:24,986
JAMM: Hmm.
494
00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:26,690
Jamm likes the sound of that.
495
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:31,298
Let's make it five I Owe
You's and you got a deal.
496
00:19:31,436 --> 00:19:33,927
You drive a hard bargain.
497
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:38,369
But you leave me no choice. Fine.
Five huge I Owe You's.
498
00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:41,139
Deal, guys. You must
really want that park.
499
00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:42,645
I do, yes.
500
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:46,343
And to tell you the truth, I'm
doing it all for my best friend.
501
00:19:47,219 --> 00:19:48,379
That's all I wanted to hear.
502
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,679
Leslie, you're my
best friend, too.
503
00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:58,553
Vote passed.
Three, two.
504
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:01,030
Jamm is going to be so pissed when
he finds out that you're leaving
505
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:02,999
and your I Owe
You's are worthless.
506
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:04,399
Are you sure you're
okay with what you did?
507
00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:07,632
It's not the most ethical
thing that I've ever done.
508
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,571
But on the flip side,
Jamm is a big, mean dope.
509
00:20:09,641 --> 00:20:11,438
Mmm-hmm. And I hope that
this eases some of the pain
510
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:12,738
of us moving away a little bit.
511
00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:15,245
I'm currently in deep denial
that that's happening.
512
00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:17,339
Speaking of which.
How's the new gig coming?
513
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:20,283
I got a raise and my fridge
is full of calzones,
514
00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:21,614
so, not complaining.
515
00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:24,554
The reason I ask is, this town's
gonna need a new city manager.
516
00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:26,818
And I've talked to some people,
517
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:29,120
and you have the votes
if you want the job.
518
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,924
(STAMMERING)
Seriously?
519
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,055
Is this for
real-skis?
520
00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:36,464
This is one hundred percent,
certified for real-skis.
521
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,429
What do you say? I mean, I...
(STAMMERING)
522
00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:40,971
Wow! I would be
insane to say no.
523
00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:42,336
Oh, no.
524
00:20:44,676 --> 00:20:45,870
Wyatt, you're late.
525
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,338
(LAUGHING)
526
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:50,245
I'm just kidding. You can
do whatever you want.
527
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,613
Actually, Barney, I'm afraid
I have some bad news.
528
00:20:56,054 --> 00:20:57,248
Today's my last day.
529
00:20:57,322 --> 00:20:59,586
I got an opportunity
I couldn't say no to,
530
00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:01,387
and I have to quit.
(SIGHS)
531
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:02,654
Again.
532
00:21:02,794 --> 00:21:04,022
No need to explain.
533
00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:07,161
I knew it was too
good to be true.
534
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:10,558
I do have a little
going-away gift.
535
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,063
I left it in the break room.
536
00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:15,770
If anyone could appreciate it,
it's you guys.
537
00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:18,275
"You can play with one warrior
538
00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:20,402
"but it's just not
nearly as good.
539
00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:22,640
"Enjoy, Ben Wyatt."
540
00:21:22,714 --> 00:21:23,703
Let's play!
541
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:24,942
I call ledgerman!
I call ledgerman!
542
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:35,500
Ripped By mstoll