﻿1
00:00:41,798 --> 00:00:45,798
<font color="#00FF00">♪ The Simpsons 25x06 ♪</font>
<font color="#00FFFF">The Kid Is All Right</font>
Original Air Date on November 24, 2013

2
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:54,040
== sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> ==
<font color=#00FFFF>@elder_man</font>
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

3
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♪ One is the loneliest number

4
00:02:31,220 --> 00:02:34,155
♪ That you'll ever do

5
00:02:34,646 --> 00:02:37,829
♪ Two can be as bad as one

6
00:02:37,859 --> 00:02:41,882
♪ It's the loneliest number
since the number one ♪

7
00:02:41,932 --> 00:02:48,404
♪ No is the saddest experience
you'll ever know ♪

8
00:02:48,424 --> 00:02:53,680
♪ Yes, it's the saddest
experience you'll ever know ♪

9
00:02:54,712 --> 00:03:01,018
♪ 'Cause one is the loneliest
number that you'll ever do ♪

10
00:03:01,059 --> 00:03:07,212
♪ One is the loneliest
number, worse than two ♪

11
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:07,965
♪ And one...

12
00:03:07,989 --> 00:03:09,759
You know, I really think
I've made my point.

13
00:03:11,097 --> 00:03:14,232
Oh, the rain has washed
away the playground shed!

14
00:03:14,266 --> 00:03:16,634
I'm being chased by sports!

15
00:03:16,669 --> 00:03:20,158
It's called "precipitation,"
'cause it never fails

16
00:03:20,176 --> 00:03:21,489
to precipitate unruly behavior.

17
00:03:23,164 --> 00:03:27,334
And saddest of all, those who do not
have a friend to play with in the rain,

18
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,522
doomed to get only
single pneumonia.

19
00:03:35,711 --> 00:03:37,168
A spit wad?

20
00:03:37,207 --> 00:03:39,991
Well, at least I'm
getting some attention.

21
00:03:41,441 --> 00:03:44,224
And the best part is I'm bombarding
her with her own homework.

22
00:03:58,674 --> 00:03:59,935
Begone!

23
00:04:03,352 --> 00:04:05,527
Well, you're never
alone surrounded by...

24
00:04:05,554 --> 00:04:08,272
<i>The Autobiography</i>
<i>of Charles Manson?</i>

25
00:04:12,567 --> 00:04:13,690
Hmm.

26
00:04:15,647 --> 00:04:16,976
Huh?

27
00:04:17,375 --> 00:04:19,269
Hi. New kid, second grade.

28
00:04:19,298 --> 00:04:20,398
Don't you love the rain?

29
00:04:20,908 --> 00:04:21,745
New kid?

30
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:25,362
- Uh, have you made any friends?
- Just Charlotte, Emily and Anne.

31
00:04:25,905 --> 00:04:28,233
That's a reference
to the Bronte sisters!

32
00:04:28,655 --> 00:04:30,706
You got my reference
to the Bronte sisters?!

33
00:04:30,733 --> 00:04:32,738
Nice to meet you, Lisa Simpson.

34
00:04:32,948 --> 00:04:34,317
How do you know my name?

35
00:04:34,345 --> 00:04:36,471
I deciphered the anagrams
on your notebook.

36
00:04:36,490 --> 00:04:37,698
Oh.

37
00:04:37,734 --> 00:04:39,502
Be Lisa?

38
00:04:43,159 --> 00:04:44,526
Isabel!

39
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:49,152
Ooh, spaghetti.

40
00:04:53,653 --> 00:04:55,076
Y'ello!

41
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:58,077
Lisa, you got a call from
someone named Isabel.

42
00:04:59,296 --> 00:05:01,121
May I ask what
this is regarding?

43
00:05:01,138 --> 00:05:04,207
Ooh! A budding new friendship?
Oh!

44
00:05:04,709 --> 00:05:06,835
Boy, how come you can't
get a new friend?

45
00:05:06,863 --> 00:05:08,330
What's wrong with the one I got?

46
00:05:08,347 --> 00:05:11,116
I finally got that M&M
out of my inner ear.

47
00:05:11,148 --> 00:05:14,550
I remembered correctly;
it <i>was</i> a green one!

48
00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:16,596
<i>Don't eat it. It's
been in his ear.</i>

49
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:19,050
<i>Don't eat it. It's
been in his ear.</i>

50
00:05:22,085 --> 00:05:25,522
<i>Don't eat it. It's been in the
boy's ear and the dog's mouth.</i>

51
00:05:25,544 --> 00:05:27,069
<i>Don't eat it.</i>

52
00:05:27,684 --> 00:05:29,821
Oh, for God's sake!

53
00:05:30,679 --> 00:05:33,056
And don't you hate being
the middle child?

54
00:05:33,073 --> 00:05:35,908
Yeah. In the car, I always
have to sit on the hump.

55
00:05:35,929 --> 00:05:37,441
It makes reading impossible.

56
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:39,805
Lisa, your food's getting cold!

57
00:05:39,829 --> 00:05:42,499
It's raw veggies.
They're supposed to be cold!

58
00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:45,876
Well, someone who loves you
put melted butter on them!

59
00:05:45,941 --> 00:05:49,263
Thank you, Mr. Bergstrom. I'll
tell Lisa you dropped by.

60
00:05:49,288 --> 00:05:50,175
I better go.

61
00:05:50,201 --> 00:05:51,768
Okay, but one more thing:

62
00:05:51,781 --> 00:05:55,069
I noticed we're both doing presentations
on Franklin Roosevelt at school.

63
00:05:55,098 --> 00:05:56,411
Why don't we do them together?

64
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:59,774
Oh, my God. Someone
wants to be my partner.

65
00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,562
Can't screw this up.

66
00:06:02,859 --> 00:06:06,295
Downloading, downloading, downloading,
downloading, downloading...

67
00:06:08,686 --> 00:06:09,819
Whoo-hoo!

68
00:06:12,775 --> 00:06:17,486
Franklin Roosevelt bravely instituted a
series of reforms called the New Deal.

69
00:06:17,512 --> 00:06:21,298
Which ran totally counter to America's
tradition of limited government.

70
00:06:21,324 --> 00:06:24,074
P.S. It was also
unconstitutional.

71
00:06:24,093 --> 00:06:25,143
Oh?

72
00:06:25,166 --> 00:06:31,112
Um, FDR's steadfast leadership also
helped America win World War Two.

73
00:06:31,130 --> 00:06:34,061
Until the weak-kneed Democrats
sold us out at Yalta.

74
00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:36,674
If you haven't guessed,
Lisa, I'm a Republican.

75
00:06:36,703 --> 00:06:38,770
- A Lincoln Republican?
- Not really.

76
00:06:38,791 --> 00:06:40,743
- A Reagan Republican?
- Keep going.

77
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:41,887
First President Bush?

78
00:06:41,913 --> 00:06:43,683
- Getting there.
- Oh, dear God.

79
00:06:49,292 --> 00:06:53,362
I must say, Lisa, it <i>was</i> amusing to
see you thoroughly de-high-horsed.

80
00:06:53,387 --> 00:06:54,698
That isn't a word.

81
00:06:54,726 --> 00:06:57,335
Ooh, back on the
saddle she climbs.

82
00:06:57,365 --> 00:07:00,568
I just can't believe someone
like you would be a Republican.

83
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,044
I mean, isn't your
last name Gutiérrez?

84
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,967
Just what exactly
are you saying?

85
00:07:04,985 --> 00:07:07,218
I'm just saying that
people of your heritage--

86
00:07:07,236 --> 00:07:11,732
which could be any one of many
heritages, I'm not pigeonholing...

87
00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:14,241
Is it a Catholic thing?

88
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,445
I'm a non-observant
Jew from Argentina.

89
00:07:16,468 --> 00:07:17,618
<i>Ay, caramba!</i>

90
00:07:17,636 --> 00:07:18,929
Do you even know
what that means?

91
00:07:18,964 --> 00:07:21,183
Uh, there-there's a
<i>caramba</i> in my eye?

92
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:23,415
It's the Spanish version
of "hot damn."

93
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,756
<i>Ay, caramba!</i>

94
00:07:25,293 --> 00:07:28,286
Hmm? Lisa, is everything okay?

95
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,809
Yes. Why?

96
00:07:29,821 --> 00:07:32,906
Because you're doing your homework
and you don't look happy.

97
00:07:33,803 --> 00:07:35,878
My new best friend
isn't what I thought.

98
00:07:35,902 --> 00:07:36,897
She's a...

99
00:07:36,922 --> 00:07:38,022
Republican!

100
00:07:39,819 --> 00:07:42,286
What is so funny? They're
destroying the world!

101
00:07:42,327 --> 00:07:43,561
They are, huh?

102
00:07:43,887 --> 00:07:46,671
I thought I'd show you this
when you were older, but...

103
00:07:47,323 --> 00:07:49,279
You voted for Reagan?!

104
00:07:49,297 --> 00:07:52,023
It was a crazy time, the '80s.

105
00:07:52,064 --> 00:07:55,172
You don't hear me listening to
the Thompson Twins anymore.

106
00:07:55,203 --> 00:07:56,695
Although...

107
00:08:02,591 --> 00:08:05,266
♪ Hold me now...

108
00:08:05,290 --> 00:08:07,859
So, you were going
through a phase?

109
00:08:07,884 --> 00:08:11,078
- Mm-hmm.
- All right, '80s party! Where's the beef?

110
00:08:11,096 --> 00:08:12,871
Tear down that wall!

111
00:08:12,891 --> 00:08:16,932
Because I think the beef
is behind that wall!

112
00:08:17,021 --> 00:08:18,289
Hmm.

113
00:08:18,711 --> 00:08:19,755
Hmm.

114
00:08:19,787 --> 00:08:22,055
♪ You say I'm a dreamer...

115
00:08:23,992 --> 00:08:26,998
Now get up here, boy! We're gonna
do "The Super Bowl Shuffle."

116
00:08:27,017 --> 00:08:29,680
No! You never let me
be Mike Singletary!

117
00:08:29,711 --> 00:08:33,333
Fine. You're Mike Singletary. Enjoy
your mediocre coaching career.

118
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,583
♪ My name is Homer,
I'm a real fullback ♪

119
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,967
♪ Gonna run that ball,
don't want no flack ♪

120
00:08:38,006 --> 00:08:40,266
♪ If you try to run, you'll
get a heart attack ♪

121
00:08:40,288 --> 00:08:42,186
Why you little...!

122
00:08:43,351 --> 00:08:45,629
♪ Hey, big man, don't
want no trouble ♪

123
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:48,710
♪ I'm just here to do
"The Super Bowl... ♪

124
00:08:48,753 --> 00:08:50,297
♪ Shuffle..."

125
00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:52,923
Excuse me.

126
00:08:53,102 --> 00:08:54,834
People's views change.

127
00:08:54,871 --> 00:08:57,129
Bobby Kennedy worked
for Joe McCarthy.

128
00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:59,553
Larry David was on <i>Fridays.</i>

129
00:08:59,584 --> 00:09:03,730
- What are you trying to say?
- Isabel's only eight. As she grows up,

130
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:06,485
surprising things will
happen to her body...

131
00:09:06,521 --> 00:09:07,573
of beliefs.

132
00:09:07,599 --> 00:09:09,987
But she could always use
a friend like you.

133
00:09:10,012 --> 00:09:11,012
Hmm.

134
00:09:12,762 --> 00:09:13,960
Hmm.

135
00:09:15,348 --> 00:09:16,528
- Isabel?
- Lisa?

136
00:09:16,561 --> 00:09:19,388
- Listen, I'm really sorry about...
- No, it's okay.

137
00:09:19,421 --> 00:09:21,689
My mom says you're just going
through a liberal phase.

138
00:09:21,712 --> 00:09:25,316
What?! My mom says you're going
through a conservative phase.

139
00:09:25,353 --> 00:09:28,181
There's no such thing. Conservatives
only get more conservative.

140
00:09:28,227 --> 00:09:31,052
Because every year, they get a little
further through <i>Atlas Shrugged.</i>

141
00:09:31,062 --> 00:09:33,364
Listen, we're both
eight years old.

142
00:09:33,392 --> 00:09:35,458
Can't we just play
Monopoly or something?

143
00:09:35,485 --> 00:09:37,690
My father owns a monopoly!

144
00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:51,023
That young filly is exactly the kind of
candidate we need to start recruiting!

145
00:09:51,052 --> 00:09:54,508
She's a young, dynamic <i>Latina.</i>

146
00:09:54,530 --> 00:09:57,974
Yee-haw! I said that just right!

147
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:02,066
Without the Hispanic vote, even
Texas is poised to turn blue.

148
00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:03,027
Blue!

149
00:10:03,047 --> 00:10:08,261
Yeah, we must reach her and groom her
before she fattens up like Chris Christie.

150
00:10:08,287 --> 00:10:11,318
He thinks GOP stands for
"Gravy on Pancakes."

151
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:17,529
But despite my mirthful remarks,
obesity is no laughing matter.

152
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,541
Just can't resist those
words, "sign-up sheet."

153
00:10:27,568 --> 00:10:30,547
Oh, looks like I'll be
running against Isabel.

154
00:10:30,565 --> 00:10:31,978
And Ralph?

155
00:10:32,023 --> 00:10:34,033
Just call me Ralph Nader.

156
00:10:34,056 --> 00:10:35,940
- I don't know why.
- Isabel!

157
00:10:35,958 --> 00:10:38,024
I want this campaign
to be about the issues:

158
00:10:38,030 --> 00:10:42,080
same-sex field trip buddies, providing
class pets with a path to citizenship...

159
00:10:42,106 --> 00:10:44,029
And no digging up
past relationships.

160
00:10:44,056 --> 00:10:46,944
Sure, Lisa and I dated.
Sure, she broke my heart.

161
00:10:46,963 --> 00:10:49,497
I'm sure your researchers
know all about it.

162
00:10:49,527 --> 00:10:53,215
- This is the first I've heard of it.
- Really? But I got this!

163
00:10:53,271 --> 00:10:54,377
Ew.

164
00:10:54,402 --> 00:10:56,882
How long has it been since
you washed your stomach?

165
00:10:56,892 --> 00:10:58,832
You can't ask that anymore!

166
00:11:00,358 --> 00:11:01,501
Quit shoving!

167
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,503
I'd like a word
with you, young lady.

168
00:11:03,521 --> 00:11:06,018
- How did you get in there?
- Slid in through the grates.

169
00:11:07,723 --> 00:11:09,004
Here's the scoop.

170
00:11:09,025 --> 00:11:12,250
You're our future, so we can't
afford to have you lose.

171
00:11:12,279 --> 00:11:16,517
And I love the Spanish-- from the
Inquisition to the delightful Franco years.

172
00:11:16,537 --> 00:11:18,235
What are you talking about?

173
00:11:18,263 --> 00:11:20,688
Move over! I know how
to talk to kids.

174
00:11:20,707 --> 00:11:22,847
We want to give you
a little present.

175
00:11:22,865 --> 00:11:26,733
A tainted victory that
will haunt you forever.

176
00:11:27,364 --> 00:11:29,553
I'd rather do this myself.

177
00:11:29,668 --> 00:11:31,143
But who'd own you then?

178
00:11:31,161 --> 00:11:34,296
You couldn't buy me with a
wheelbarrow full of ice cream.

179
00:11:37,541 --> 00:11:39,217
Whoa, nicely done.

180
00:11:39,254 --> 00:11:43,480
You've charmed another one right into
the arms of the Libertarian Party.

181
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:46,602
Maybe we can help her without
her knowing we're helping her.

182
00:11:47,277 --> 00:11:49,955
No one says I can't buy
a second grade election.

183
00:11:49,974 --> 00:11:52,514
Why, I had enough money to fix
<i>People Magazine's</i>

184
00:11:52,526 --> 00:11:54,468
Sexiest Man Alive.

185
00:11:54,584 --> 00:11:57,530
Most of the money went to
convincing them that I was alive.

186
00:12:00,072 --> 00:12:02,070
Who ordered the Yumboni?

187
00:12:02,095 --> 00:12:04,907
Right here! Now, Smithers, I
want you to eat this for me.

188
00:12:04,935 --> 00:12:08,137
Describe every taste. And don't
forget the brain freeze.

189
00:12:08,159 --> 00:12:10,227
Sir, I am lactose-intolerant.

190
00:12:10,254 --> 00:12:12,660
And I'm back-talk-allergic!
So start eating!

191
00:12:15,324 --> 00:12:16,868
Have a great day, kids.

192
00:12:16,896 --> 00:12:20,566
And, Bart, I'll pick you up after
school to take you to karate lessons.

193
00:12:20,581 --> 00:12:24,988
Mom, after six weeks, I figured out that
Sensei Weinstein is really my psychiatrist.

194
00:12:25,009 --> 00:12:29,049
Either way, for 45 minutes,
you're not my problem, sweetie.

195
00:12:32,402 --> 00:12:36,741
Don't worry, Lisa, despite the paid
ad, I am strictly middle of the road.

196
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,498
Idiot!

197
00:12:38,528 --> 00:12:39,527
Pick a lane!

198
00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:43,136
Wha...?!

199
00:12:47,235 --> 00:12:48,594
What are you doing?!

200
00:12:48,621 --> 00:12:50,265
I'm as bewildered as you are.

201
00:12:50,277 --> 00:12:53,384
I don't know why, but the Springfield
Republican Party is grooming me.

202
00:12:53,401 --> 00:12:55,735
Grooming? Yuck!

203
00:12:56,127 --> 00:12:58,053
Unfortunately, I can't stop it.

204
00:12:58,088 --> 00:13:00,757
The Supreme Court says
spending money is free speech.

205
00:13:00,785 --> 00:13:02,586
Well, then you could use
your free speech

206
00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:05,609
to denounce this intrusion of
big money into our election.

207
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:09,177
Mm, I'll think about it while I'm on
my listening tour of the cafeteria.

208
00:13:16,437 --> 00:13:18,184
Pour me another.

209
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,010
What are you doing?
It's imaginary.

210
00:13:22,379 --> 00:13:23,323
Fine.

211
00:13:23,352 --> 00:13:24,563
I got to go.

212
00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:27,437
I'll see you later.

213
00:13:42,736 --> 00:13:43,905
<i>Ay, caramba!</i>

214
00:13:43,940 --> 00:13:46,428
Bart, I need you to help
me win the election.

215
00:13:46,446 --> 00:13:48,384
I can help, but it's
gonna get rough.

216
00:13:48,405 --> 00:13:51,136
- I'm fine with rough.
- You don't know what rough is.

217
00:13:51,176 --> 00:13:54,062
That ain't rough. More
like a gentle breeze.

218
00:13:54,081 --> 00:13:55,485
Maggie hits harder.

219
00:13:55,498 --> 00:13:58,064
Did the good night pixie
just kiss my cheek?

220
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:01,117
Ow! Okay, you got my attention.

221
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:02,551
You want to win this election?

222
00:14:02,567 --> 00:14:04,967
Then from now on, you
do exactly what I say.

223
00:14:04,995 --> 00:14:06,058
You got it.

224
00:14:06,073 --> 00:14:07,901
First, go make me
five pans of brownies.

225
00:14:07,919 --> 00:14:10,412
You're just taking advantage
of the situation.

226
00:14:10,435 --> 00:14:12,368
Hmm, maybe Isabel likes baking.

227
00:14:12,392 --> 00:14:14,174
Cakey or gooey?

228
00:14:14,566 --> 00:14:16,415
I'll make both.

229
00:14:18,736 --> 00:14:20,170
First, we reel them in.

230
00:14:20,187 --> 00:14:22,376
Then, we scare the
hell out of them.

231
00:14:22,399 --> 00:14:24,512
By discussing the
school's budget crisis?

232
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,913
No, with balls to the head.

233
00:14:27,999 --> 00:14:29,246
Bombardment!

234
00:14:33,198 --> 00:14:36,806
I associate Isabel with
a pain in my tummy.

235
00:14:38,769 --> 00:14:40,388
Bombardment?

236
00:14:41,835 --> 00:14:46,579
Miss Simpson, your platform calls for
the creation of a student-run garden.

237
00:14:46,609 --> 00:14:48,843
Organic gardening is
an essential part

238
00:14:48,866 --> 00:14:51,714
of 21st century education,
teaching both hands-on...

239
00:14:51,736 --> 00:14:55,085
And what programs would you cut to pay
for this precious garden of yours?

240
00:14:55,123 --> 00:14:57,573
The new Wiffle bats?
Pizza Friday?

241
00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:00,076
Not Pizza Friday!

242
00:15:00,109 --> 00:15:02,321
Sorry, Lisa, you lose again.

243
00:15:03,725 --> 00:15:05,644
You got to get on
your game, sister.

244
00:15:05,666 --> 00:15:09,519
You think I'm tough? Wait till
Gutiérrez sinks her teeth into you.

245
00:15:09,557 --> 00:15:11,238
Remember, you got
an ace in the hole:

246
00:15:11,251 --> 00:15:13,930
chocolate milk
in the water fountains.

247
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:15,125
That's impossible.

248
00:15:15,143 --> 00:15:18,375
We've already had the best
plumbers in the city look into it.

249
00:15:18,402 --> 00:15:20,937
Hey, we'll worry about
that after you're elected.

250
00:15:23,510 --> 00:15:24,992
What are you so happy about?

251
00:15:25,017 --> 00:15:28,352
It's in the bag, Lis.
Once everybody sees this.

252
00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:32,306
Training wheels. She still
uses training wheels.

253
00:15:33,482 --> 00:15:34,815
And watch this.

254
00:15:39,776 --> 00:15:41,215
Excellent.

255
00:15:41,246 --> 00:15:42,674
What am I doing?

256
00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:44,493
Untent! Untent!

257
00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:48,104
Oh, Bart, I want to
win, but not like this.

258
00:15:48,301 --> 00:15:50,068
I'm sorry, you're fired.

259
00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:55,118
Leave the bottle.

260
00:15:56,026 --> 00:15:58,879
I bet by the end of the night,
you're gonna look pretty good.

261
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:02,692
Welcome to our first in a
series of 37 debates--

262
00:16:02,723 --> 00:16:06,237
good Lord-- before the
elementary school elections.

263
00:16:06,274 --> 00:16:07,647
You're a booger head!

264
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:12,804
And I say we move beyond name-calling
to solve our real problems.

265
00:16:14,218 --> 00:16:15,559
Booger head!

266
00:16:15,601 --> 00:16:18,376
Vote for whoever you want to.
To me, these are both losers.

267
00:16:18,407 --> 00:16:24,980
Now, the second grade debate between
Isabel Gutiérrez and Lisa Simp-a-son.

268
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,245
Sounds weird.

269
00:16:26,283 --> 00:16:27,296
Mm.

270
00:16:27,657 --> 00:16:28,857
<i>Ivy Agee,</i>

271
00:16:28,886 --> 00:16:31,188
Frank Marino, Glen Gloyd.

272
00:16:31,205 --> 00:16:34,086
These are men who
fought at Omaha Beach.

273
00:16:34,122 --> 00:16:37,454
And they are the reason I'm
running for second grade rep.

274
00:16:37,475 --> 00:16:39,733
<i>Dios los bendiga a todos.</i>

275
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:44,048
I'll bet my bologna sandwich
that girl's gonna win.

276
00:16:44,066 --> 00:16:45,929
Oh, a little rich
for my blood, sir.

277
00:16:45,955 --> 00:16:49,090
Yes, you can fog a mirror, Seymour,
but I wouldn't call you alive.

278
00:16:49,116 --> 00:16:52,176
Now, the other candidate,
Lisa Simpson.

279
00:16:52,572 --> 00:16:54,516
Okay, I'm a liberal.

280
00:16:54,558 --> 00:16:56,726
And sometimes that's
a dirty word.

281
00:16:58,254 --> 00:16:59,035
Liberal.

282
00:16:59,062 --> 00:17:02,043
But what liberal really means
is someone who believes

283
00:17:02,061 --> 00:17:06,184
that those who have more than enough should
share a little with those who don't.

284
00:17:07,237 --> 00:17:10,406
And those principles have
consistently been in place

285
00:17:10,419 --> 00:17:13,213
during this country's
most prosperous times.

286
00:17:13,238 --> 00:17:16,174
So if that's a liberal,
then I am a liberal.

287
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,367
And hang me.

288
00:17:18,314 --> 00:17:22,130
Sorry, we're just setting up for
<i>An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge.</i>

289
00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:31,770
Ooh.

290
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:33,690
The Democratic Party pantheon.

291
00:17:33,713 --> 00:17:35,614
Such lofty ideals.

292
00:17:36,674 --> 00:17:37,994
And here come the spirits.

293
00:17:38,017 --> 00:17:41,805
Michael Dukakis, Walter
Mondale, John Kerry?

294
00:17:41,815 --> 00:17:43,551
These are all losers!

295
00:17:43,578 --> 00:17:46,615
I'm afraid you're heading
for a loss, Lisa.

296
00:17:46,638 --> 00:17:49,172
And when we lose, we lose big.

297
00:17:49,207 --> 00:17:52,820
What about Obama? Harry Truman?
Bill Clinton?

298
00:17:52,856 --> 00:17:54,412
Lisa, you're a lot like me.

299
00:17:54,434 --> 00:17:58,077
Play the saxophone, come from a small
town, raised by a mother with no help.

300
00:17:58,092 --> 00:17:59,942
So, do you know how I can win?

301
00:17:59,976 --> 00:18:03,239
I don't even know why I'm a ghost.
All these guys are alive.

302
00:18:03,259 --> 00:18:06,723
John Kerry here is Secretary of State.
Doing a bang-up job.

303
00:18:06,758 --> 00:18:10,733
Well, we still have a long way
to go on Asian currency issues.

304
00:18:10,758 --> 00:18:11,721
Absolutely.

305
00:18:11,747 --> 00:18:13,576
And, Lisa, I'm only
appearing in this dream

306
00:18:13,587 --> 00:18:16,318
so I can visit with you about
the Clinton Global Initiative.

307
00:18:16,339 --> 00:18:19,127
See, our mission is to
turn ideas into action.

308
00:18:19,145 --> 00:18:20,700
And to find innovative
solutions that will hel...

309
00:18:21,307 --> 00:18:23,875
Hey, hey, hey! You can't
fall asleep in a dream!

310
00:18:26,533 --> 00:18:28,040
I know what I've got to do.

311
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:30,552
Hello, Isabel? Listen...

312
00:18:33,712 --> 00:18:36,470
CGI also convenes CGI America,

313
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:39,790
a meeting devoted to economic
recovery and job creation.

314
00:18:39,809 --> 00:18:41,396
You used to be fun!

315
00:18:41,430 --> 00:18:43,318
Kevin Costner used
to be a movie star.

316
00:18:43,342 --> 00:18:44,342
Get over it.

317
00:18:44,871 --> 00:18:46,672
And now for their final debate,

318
00:18:46,718 --> 00:18:49,253
please welcome,
uh, Li... um...

319
00:18:49,274 --> 00:18:52,880
Li-sa? Li-sa, uh, Simpsone.

320
00:18:52,908 --> 00:18:53,755
Yes.

321
00:18:53,768 --> 00:18:58,122
And, uh, Isabel
Adolpho-Guzman-Lopez Gutiérrez.

322
00:18:58,158 --> 00:18:59,358
Uh, ladies.

323
00:19:05,191 --> 00:19:08,104
I just want to say, I don't
care about politics,

324
00:19:08,122 --> 00:19:10,579
electioneering or
negative campaigning.

325
00:19:10,603 --> 00:19:13,253
If my friend Lisa
wins, so be it.

326
00:19:16,512 --> 00:19:18,509
And I also want
to say that if...

327
00:19:18,528 --> 00:19:19,547
- Time's up.
- But I...

328
00:19:19,568 --> 00:19:20,868
Stop showboating.

329
00:19:24,673 --> 00:19:27,604
Back in the banner shed you go.

330
00:19:28,143 --> 00:19:29,031
<i>Good morning.</i>

331
00:19:29,047 --> 00:19:32,347
We have completed the tally of the
votes for class representative.

332
00:19:32,374 --> 00:19:35,521
<i>One brief announcement: the tainted
Greek salad has given several students</i>

333
00:19:35,544 --> 00:19:37,977
<i>nightmares involving
Michael Dukakis.</i>

334
00:19:38,015 --> 00:19:41,715
It may recur tonight, so if possible,
have your parents strap you to the bed.

335
00:19:41,754 --> 00:19:43,248
<i>And now the results.</i>

336
00:19:43,287 --> 00:19:46,851
<i>First grade rep-- results delayed
indefinitely due to jelly on the ballots.</i>

337
00:19:46,884 --> 00:19:47,851
<i>Second grade rep--</i>

338
00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:49,586
<i>Isabel Gutiérrez.</i>

339
00:19:49,617 --> 00:19:52,611
- <i>Third grade rep, no votes cast. Fourth
grade rep...</i> - Congratulations, Isabel.

340
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:54,705
- <i>last name Weiner, first name Ima...</i>
- I truly hope you enjoy the Friday

341
00:19:54,723 --> 00:19:56,465
- morning council meetings.
- <i>Simpson!</i>

342
00:19:56,477 --> 00:19:59,633
And the-the free
snicker doodle cookies.

343
00:20:00,149 --> 00:20:01,338
Smithers, we won!

344
00:20:01,372 --> 00:20:03,390
Drop the balloons!

345
00:20:03,857 --> 00:20:05,266
Ow! Ow! Ooh!

346
00:20:08,187 --> 00:20:09,782
Can I at least
remove the balloons?

347
00:20:09,815 --> 00:20:11,665
Do it and you'll kill him.

348
00:20:12,617 --> 00:20:14,305
- Hey, Lis.
- Hey.

349
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:15,703
I'm sorry I fired you.

350
00:20:15,726 --> 00:20:17,150
Eh, no hard feelings.

351
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:18,956
A lot of good things have
been happening to me.

352
00:20:18,990 --> 00:20:19,956
Mm-hmm.

353
00:20:19,984 --> 00:20:20,922
Thanks, Bart.

354
00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:24,600
I think you might feel better if
you looked at these exit polls.

355
00:20:24,653 --> 00:20:27,026
They find me a
pointy-haired know-it-all.

356
00:20:27,045 --> 00:20:30,023
Yes, but they agreed with
everything you said.

357
00:20:30,057 --> 00:20:31,307
What are you getting at?

358
00:20:31,328 --> 00:20:34,266
53% said they'd
vote for a liberal.

359
00:20:34,284 --> 00:20:35,766
Just not you.

360
00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:37,959
Huh. You hear that, world?

361
00:20:37,990 --> 00:20:40,909
They love my ideas, just not me!

362
00:20:40,928 --> 00:20:43,551
And that is half the battle!

363
00:20:43,581 --> 00:20:44,614
Ha!

364
00:20:44,905 --> 00:20:47,012
Hello, I'm elder
Anderson Cooper.

365
00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:50,613
Welcome to our first debate between
Republican Isabel Gutiérrez

366
00:20:50,647 --> 00:20:55,021
and Lisa Simpson, representing the
Democratic Robot Zombie Coalition.

367
00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:59,796
First question: Ms. Simpson, what would
you do to get America out of Afghanistan?

368
00:20:59,831 --> 00:21:03,284
I'd just throw in the towel
and make it a state.

369
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,605
That's our girl.

370
00:21:06,810 --> 00:21:11,810
== sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> ==
<font color=#00FFFF>@elder_man</font>
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

371
00:21:51,574 --> 00:21:52,895
Shh!

