1
00:00:18,026 --> 00:00:20,874
- Nick! We need to talk.
- Winston stays. End of discussion.
2
00:00:20,897 --> 00:00:23,627
No, dude. I got your
Thanksgiving invitation.
3
00:00:27,398 --> 00:00:29,855
- Did you make this?
- Absolutely not.
4
00:00:30,005 --> 00:00:32,086
He's announcing Thanksgiving!
5
00:00:32,104 --> 00:00:34,658
With his little trumpet,
he's announcing the feast!
6
00:00:34,692 --> 00:00:36,366
It's so funny...
7
00:00:37,260 --> 00:00:39,633
We should name that
little guy Roger.
8
00:00:39,660 --> 00:00:42,082
When your testicles fell off,
9
00:00:42,092 --> 00:00:46,128
did you form lady parts, or is it
kind of like a Gonzo nose down there?
10
00:00:46,144 --> 00:00:48,023
- It's really interesting.
- Yeah.
11
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,605
- You see, the thing is, my testicles
haven't fallen off... - Right.
12
00:00:50,623 --> 00:00:51,830
...it's just the morning.
13
00:00:51,862 --> 00:00:55,450
And my testicles do this really
unique thing of burrowing...
14
00:00:55,515 --> 00:00:57,192
when it's cold out.
15
00:00:58,417 --> 00:00:59,667
You're burning me.
16
00:00:59,691 --> 00:01:00,934
- I gotta be real with you.
- Please.
17
00:01:00,959 --> 00:01:04,653
I know how a guy can get,
like, lost in a relationship.
18
00:01:04,693 --> 00:01:07,952
I've been there, dude. You're snuggling,
you're snuggling, you're snuggling,
19
00:01:07,964 --> 00:01:09,108
and then, bam!
20
00:01:09,130 --> 00:01:13,320
Next thing you know, you're wearing a jean
skirt and a tube top with no panties on,
21
00:01:13,343 --> 00:01:16,449
because you guys said you were gonna
dress up like each other for Halloween.
22
00:01:16,482 --> 00:01:17,971
But she doesn't
dress up like you.
23
00:01:18,002 --> 00:01:21,202
- But you still go to the party.
- I could not be more sorry for you,
24
00:01:21,226 --> 00:01:23,570
- but that's not my story.
- Stand up.
25
00:01:23,607 --> 00:01:25,325
- Stand up?
- Yeah.
26
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,748
Okay.
27
00:01:32,419 --> 00:01:35,436
- Are those Jessica's pajama bottoms?
- It's, uh...
28
00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:38,551
football player pants for, uh,
br-breast cancer awareness.
29
00:01:38,958 --> 00:01:43,158
Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
30
00:01:43,554 --> 00:01:45,085
I like the way that
they hug my gronk.
31
00:01:45,511 --> 00:01:48,274
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
32
00:01:48,293 --> 00:01:49,705
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
33
00:01:49,722 --> 00:01:51,656
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ It's Jess. ♪
34
00:01:51,913 --> 00:01:53,645
Camping on Thanksgiving?
35
00:01:53,669 --> 00:01:56,939
It might be a crazy Nick
idea, but I kind of like it.
36
00:01:56,965 --> 00:01:59,187
I thought you hated
camping and nature.
37
00:01:59,212 --> 00:02:01,254
You said you were
afraid a fly was gonna
38
00:02:01,272 --> 00:02:03,100
fly in your head and
learn all your thoughts.
39
00:02:03,126 --> 00:02:06,724
I am a man, and men
belong in wilderness.
40
00:02:07,241 --> 00:02:08,779
It really means a lot to me.
41
00:02:08,814 --> 00:02:12,202
The only thing I care about
is that we're all together.
42
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:14,816
And that we can all sit down
together and have a nice dinner.
43
00:02:14,833 --> 00:02:16,402
I 100% agree.
44
00:02:16,421 --> 00:02:19,176
- I think everybody's gonna
love this idea. - Me, too.
45
00:02:19,213 --> 00:02:21,080
- Camping? What the hell?
- Like we're animals?
46
00:02:21,092 --> 00:02:22,430
Come on.
Hear him out.
47
00:02:22,455 --> 00:02:25,663
Let's face it. Our indoor
Thanksgivings haven't been so great.
48
00:02:25,682 --> 00:02:27,536
- Turkey!
- Dead body!
49
00:02:27,559 --> 00:02:28,853
I think I'm into your mother.
50
00:02:28,865 --> 00:02:30,350
So this can't be worse.
51
00:02:30,375 --> 00:02:32,390
- Thank you, Jessica, I got
it from here. - All right.
52
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:34,034
This Thanksgiving,
53
00:02:34,047 --> 00:02:37,243
I want to honor the traditions
of our forefathers.
54
00:02:37,276 --> 00:02:42,348
The mighty Pilgrims and Native Americans
who came together in order to survive.
55
00:02:42,366 --> 00:02:43,485
Sure, yeah.
56
00:02:43,513 --> 00:02:46,146
The first chapter in
a proud history of cooperation.
57
00:02:46,170 --> 00:02:50,938
It'll be the ultimate test of
manhood and our survival skills.
58
00:02:50,969 --> 00:02:53,313
- It will? - How's this for
a test of our manhood?
59
00:02:53,331 --> 00:02:56,115
We stay at home, we drink
beer, we watch football.
60
00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:57,139
- Manhood.
- I like that idea.
61
00:02:57,154 --> 00:02:59,104
Winston, I'm talking
about real men.
62
00:02:59,129 --> 00:03:00,785
- Me, too.
- Men who fend for themselves.
63
00:03:00,817 --> 00:03:03,786
You're the laziest man I know.
Okay, Jess, be honest with me.
64
00:03:03,826 --> 00:03:05,307
Has he ever been on top?
65
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,572
- Real men are on the bottom.
- No, they're not.
66
00:03:07,602 --> 00:03:10,502
- Guys, guys. It's Thanksgiving.
- You're on the bottom...
67
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,894
We need to be together.
Who's in?
68
00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:16,374
- Come on, guys!
- All right, I'm in.
69
00:03:16,393 --> 00:03:17,832
- What?
- Yeah, Schmidt! - Yes!
70
00:03:17,855 --> 00:03:20,739
Look, my parents were super divorced
and they never took me camping,
71
00:03:20,762 --> 00:03:22,835
but I always thought
that I'd be incredible at it.
72
00:03:23,033 --> 00:03:23,796
Let's get ready.
73
00:03:23,811 --> 00:03:25,649
What the hell is on
your head, Schmidt?
74
00:03:25,667 --> 00:03:28,880
It's an exact replica of the hat.
Viggo Mortensen wore in Hidalgo.
75
00:03:28,908 --> 00:03:30,408
Knew you'd like it.
76
00:03:34,807 --> 00:03:36,871
Wow! Nice job, Miller!
77
00:03:36,895 --> 00:03:38,584
This spot's beautiful.
78
00:03:38,606 --> 00:03:39,839
I know.
79
00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:42,105
- Cece!
- Cece's here?
80
00:03:42,123 --> 00:03:43,899
I didn't know she
was gonna be here.
81
00:03:44,502 --> 00:03:46,458
Yay, I'm so happy you came!
82
00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:49,127
We're all together! It
makes me so excited.
83
00:03:49,152 --> 00:03:50,893
Of course! I mean,
what could be better
84
00:03:50,918 --> 00:03:53,006
than camping in the woods
with my ex-boyfriend
85
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:54,376
and his friend I
just made out with.
86
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,026
With whom you just made out.
87
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:57,983
- Don't. You know I hate that.
- It's very important.
88
00:03:58,007 --> 00:04:00,101
- Don't. Seriously, don't.
- Grammar's important.
89
00:04:00,126 --> 00:04:02,050
If it get awkward,
I'll come save you.
90
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:04,336
Happy Thanksgiving!
91
00:04:04,361 --> 00:04:05,370
Yay!
92
00:04:06,957 --> 00:04:09,307
- Hey, what's up, girl?
- Hey, Cece.
93
00:04:19,597 --> 00:04:21,965
Hey, I never, uh... had
a chance to ask you.
94
00:04:21,983 --> 00:04:23,140
How did the, um...
95
00:04:23,158 --> 00:04:24,560
How'd your guys' date
go the other night?
96
00:04:24,572 --> 00:04:26,016
- Oh, with Cece?
- Yeah.
97
00:04:26,043 --> 00:04:28,966
Uh... it was... I loved it.
98
00:04:29,010 --> 00:04:30,343
I mean, it was good.
99
00:04:30,749 --> 00:04:32,759
- It was cool.
- That's great.
100
00:04:33,714 --> 00:04:36,006
- Super.
- Super-duper.
101
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:38,673
So where you thinking about
pitching, uh, pitching a tent?
102
00:04:38,698 --> 00:04:40,179
- Thinking over there.
- Oh, yonder?
103
00:04:40,204 --> 00:04:41,842
- Yeah, sure.
- Yeah. Yonder.
104
00:04:41,869 --> 00:04:44,763
Listen, I've been researching on
the Internet for the past 12 hours
105
00:04:44,775 --> 00:04:46,726
everything there is to
know about the wood.
106
00:04:46,751 --> 00:04:49,168
Now I'm a... I'm
a master camper.
107
00:04:49,749 --> 00:04:53,205
So if you need any help with anything,
just come to me and ask, okay?
108
00:04:53,503 --> 00:04:55,472
Thanks, man. I don't
know anything about the wood.
109
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,873
- I know everything.
- I'm lost. What is that, a tree?
110
00:04:57,892 --> 00:05:00,903
If these trees were skyscrapers,
you'd feel very comfortable.
111
00:05:00,928 --> 00:05:04,170
Yeah. I'd be right at home.
Unfortunately, they're actual trees.
112
00:05:04,195 --> 00:05:06,639
- Yeah. You're the best.
- I love the hat!
113
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,807
I'm sorry, is that a solar
cell phone charger?
114
00:05:10,042 --> 00:05:13,477
Yeah, I can't go more
than two days without it.
115
00:05:13,862 --> 00:05:16,332
Okay, hold on. Do you...
do you hate camping, too?
116
00:05:16,347 --> 00:05:19,690
Are you kidding me? I
absolutely hate camping.
117
00:05:19,715 --> 00:05:21,359
Then why are we here?
118
00:05:21,386 --> 00:05:24,069
Because I didn't get a say.
I never get a say.
119
00:05:24,075 --> 00:05:26,241
Whenever I want to do something,
they don't give a hoot.
120
00:05:26,342 --> 00:05:28,556
Guess who just got free
passes to a pottery seminar.
121
00:05:28,587 --> 00:05:30,133
- Get out of here.
- Winston!
122
00:05:30,170 --> 00:05:33,092
We could've made the
craziest mugs, man.
123
00:05:36,257 --> 00:05:37,407
- Hey, Nick?
- Yeah.
124
00:05:37,431 --> 00:05:38,488
There's just beer in here.
125
00:05:38,513 --> 00:05:40,681
That should last us for the
first few hours, actually.
126
00:05:40,706 --> 00:05:42,867
Where's the food? Where-where
are all the pies I made?
127
00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:44,624
Look, don't worry, Jess.
128
00:05:44,641 --> 00:05:46,541
'Cause the food is...
129
00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:48,453
right here.
130
00:05:48,977 --> 00:05:51,601
I'm... sorry. I don't
understand that gesture.
131
00:05:51,620 --> 00:05:54,499
We're gonna be hunting
and foraging for our dinner,
132
00:05:54,523 --> 00:05:57,125
just like the Indians
and the Pilgrims.
133
00:06:00,510 --> 00:06:01,814
But you brought beer.
134
00:06:01,830 --> 00:06:04,502
You can't forage for beer.
And that's a necessity.
135
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,970
So this is Thanksgiving meal?
136
00:06:07,020 --> 00:06:09,590
- 96 warm beers?
- We can do this.
137
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:11,296
Guys, we've gotten soft!
138
00:06:11,315 --> 00:06:13,958
With our antibiotics
and our sports creams.
139
00:06:13,976 --> 00:06:17,052
Do you think George
Washington had a pet cat?
140
00:06:17,078 --> 00:06:18,068
- Yeah. - No.
- He didn't.
141
00:06:18,091 --> 00:06:19,628
He hunted them.
142
00:06:19,652 --> 00:06:22,683
- What? - And he made milk
and butter out of their spoils.
143
00:06:22,708 --> 00:06:24,898
- That's terrible. - So you're saying
George Washington milked his cat?
144
00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:27,340
- Nothing is sounding accurate right now.
- Not at all. - Where'd you read this?
145
00:06:27,358 --> 00:06:30,020
I'm not saying it's gonna be easy.
It's gonna be hard.
146
00:06:30,048 --> 00:06:34,554
But we will emerge out of this
better friends and a tribe.
147
00:06:34,579 --> 00:06:36,177
I'm on board.
148
00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:37,507
Going old-school.
149
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:39,358
- Men! Killing! Hunting!
- Men!
150
00:06:39,375 --> 00:06:41,006
Men! Men! Men! Men!
151
00:06:41,018 --> 00:06:44,819
Oh, my cowman's... my cowman...
my cowman's hat, my cowman's hat.
152
00:06:45,436 --> 00:06:48,075
Guys, look, I'm as much
a man as anybody here,
153
00:06:48,092 --> 00:06:50,020
but this plan is
straight-up dookie.
154
00:06:50,039 --> 00:06:53,420
- I need my sweets and I need my parade.
- Yeah, you know what? I'm out, too.
155
00:06:53,445 --> 00:06:56,206
Guys, guys, guys. Look.
156
00:06:56,431 --> 00:06:58,236
We're together.
157
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,862
We're a family.
It's Thanksgiving.
158
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,781
And I'm sure Nick has a plan.
Right?
159
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,548
- Oh, yeah. I've got a plan.
- Great. - You got a plan?
160
00:07:04,566 --> 00:07:05,555
The man's got a plan.
161
00:07:05,602 --> 00:07:08,431
These wilderness guides right
here detail what plants
162
00:07:08,449 --> 00:07:11,351
are safe for eating and
what traps we can build.
163
00:07:11,374 --> 00:07:13,141
Unfortunately, I
ran out of money,
164
00:07:13,165 --> 00:07:16,003
so I couldn't print out the chapters
on gutting and skinning, but...
165
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:18,444
we'll worry about that when we
get there. Pilgrim rules.
166
00:07:18,466 --> 00:07:20,408
Men, hunters!
167
00:07:20,584 --> 00:07:21,984
Women, foragers.
168
00:07:22,007 --> 00:07:25,099
I'm not hunting. The only Hunt
I want is Bonnie or Helen.
169
00:07:25,121 --> 00:07:27,313
- You know what I'm talking
about, Coach. - What?
170
00:07:28,398 --> 00:07:29,747
Nick.
171
00:07:32,658 --> 00:07:35,120
This is perfect.
Primal man in nature.
172
00:07:35,138 --> 00:07:37,959
Stalking prey. Who's basically
the lady now, Coach?
173
00:07:37,983 --> 00:07:40,645
I've seen that tree six times
in the past 20 minutes.
174
00:07:40,662 --> 00:07:42,808
We're definitely moving
in a small circle.
175
00:07:43,065 --> 00:07:45,315
Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm
gonna clear a path this way.
176
00:07:45,350 --> 00:07:47,313
We will travel
northbound, I believe.
177
00:07:47,331 --> 00:07:48,476
That's not north;
that's south.
178
00:07:48,503 --> 00:07:50,684
That is south? Then let's
travel southbound.
179
00:07:50,832 --> 00:07:53,060
I'm gonna clear a path. If something's
in there and you get injured,
180
00:07:53,079 --> 00:07:55,264
I promise you I
will kill you fast.
181
00:07:56,541 --> 00:07:58,535
Scat! Scat.
182
00:08:04,362 --> 00:08:06,475
- There's an animal nearby.
- Hey, Schmidt, that's a raisin, man.
183
00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:08,605
That's not a raisin.
This is scat.
184
00:08:09,201 --> 00:08:10,311
Okay.
185
00:08:14,473 --> 00:08:17,006
That's poop for sure. I was right.
In your face, Nick.
186
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:18,545
- In your face, Nick.
- How so?
187
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,694
I don't know, he put a...
put a turd in his mouth.
188
00:08:20,713 --> 00:08:21,851
- And that's in my face?
- Yeah.
189
00:08:21,872 --> 00:08:24,861
I don't think we should start eating
poo yet, Schmidt. Let's wait on that.
190
00:08:24,891 --> 00:08:27,441
- You want to chase that with some dirt?
- Does anyone have any gum?
191
00:08:27,486 --> 00:08:28,285
No.
192
00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:30,880
Not that I wanted any
in the first place.
193
00:08:33,275 --> 00:08:35,200
That's a mighty
big hole there, Nick.
194
00:08:35,229 --> 00:08:37,554
- You trying to catch a refrigerator?
- It's a bear hole.
195
00:08:37,576 --> 00:08:40,817
Bear falls in, other stuff falls in.
We take what the bear doesn't want.
196
00:08:40,846 --> 00:08:42,964
- Makes sense.
- Classic human/bear team-up.
197
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:45,865
- I'm from Chicago. It's the best I can do.
- Yeah, bears love to share.
198
00:08:45,883 --> 00:08:48,117
What are you planning on doing with
that bear when he falls into the hole?
199
00:08:48,134 --> 00:08:50,907
Dude, I'm trying the best that I can!
We have no food.
200
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:52,791
Let me explain something
to you, Nick.
201
00:08:53,187 --> 00:08:55,554
When you're building a trap, you
want to customize it to your prey.
202
00:08:55,573 --> 00:08:58,790
So, I don't know, if was trying
to catch, say a squirrel,
203
00:08:58,825 --> 00:09:00,713
I'd want think like a squirrel.
204
00:09:00,739 --> 00:09:02,599
Allow me to demonstrate
with this trap that I built.
205
00:09:02,622 --> 00:09:04,672
How do you get into the
mindset of a squirrel?
206
00:09:06,208 --> 00:09:08,058
I'm a squirrel... right?
207
00:09:08,087 --> 00:09:09,539
- You do that really well.
- Look at this!
208
00:09:09,556 --> 00:09:11,990
Oh, there's some nuts here.
Look at all these little nuts.
209
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,362
You might not want to do that.
210
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:15,628
If I needed your advice on how
to lead a spinning class,
211
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,403
I'd ask you, but this
is my territory.
212
00:09:18,431 --> 00:09:20,218
- My scapula!
- Dude, are you all right?
213
00:09:20,236 --> 00:09:22,601
Aah! Aah, get it off! Aah!
214
00:09:24,343 --> 00:09:25,599
Get it!
215
00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:27,492
Get up.
Keep breathing, man.
216
00:09:27,510 --> 00:09:29,487
I don't mean to be laughing,
but are you okay?
217
00:09:29,511 --> 00:09:31,366
- I'm gonna make you a sling.
- You're gonna make me a what?
218
00:09:31,401 --> 00:09:33,501
- You don't know how to do that.
- Of course I do.
219
00:09:33,754 --> 00:09:35,945
What...? What are you doing?
220
00:09:36,194 --> 00:09:39,325
- I was an Eagle Scout. - What are you
talking about, you were an Eagle Scout?
221
00:09:39,569 --> 00:09:41,550
- Look.
- That's actually really good.
222
00:09:41,569 --> 00:09:43,875
I'm sorry, dude. You wanted
to be the best at camping.
223
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:46,850
You were so excited about your hat. I
didn't want to get in the way of that.
224
00:09:46,875 --> 00:09:50,194
- Plus with the whole Cece thing or
whatever. - What are talking about?
225
00:09:52,171 --> 00:09:53,849
You're gonna let me
be the best camper.
226
00:09:53,871 --> 00:09:55,856
- I am the best camper!
- Yeah.
227
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,632
I think this is chicory.
228
00:09:58,651 --> 00:10:00,332
It says you can eat the root.
229
00:10:00,841 --> 00:10:04,106
Or it's jasmine.
Which will kill you.
230
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,750
Hmm.
What do you guys think?
231
00:10:05,769 --> 00:10:07,087
- I'm sure it's fine.
- Yeah, just eat it.
232
00:10:07,099 --> 00:10:08,923
Hey, raspberries!
233
00:10:09,058 --> 00:10:11,586
There... Ow!
: Ow.
234
00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:13,151
There are a lot of
brambles in here.
235
00:10:13,188 --> 00:10:15,166
- There's a country store
not far from here. - Ow!
236
00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:18,572
Three and a half stars. The reviews
say, "It's functional and dusty."
237
00:10:18,591 --> 00:10:19,922
- Ow!
- Sounds good to me.
238
00:10:19,941 --> 00:10:22,164
This is so fun.
Who wants to help?
239
00:10:22,195 --> 00:10:25,583
This plan is officially the worst.
We are starving.
240
00:10:25,619 --> 00:10:27,831
Just admit, you don't want
to do this, either.
241
00:10:28,446 --> 00:10:32,077
Okay, listen up. Only stuff we
can find in the forest, right?
242
00:10:34,624 --> 00:10:35,930
Look at that fish.
243
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,115
It's perfect.
244
00:10:37,140 --> 00:10:38,679
- What?
- Oh, I'm gonna grab it.
245
00:10:38,697 --> 00:10:42,045
- I'm so hungry. Now we get to eat, boys.
- Dude, that looks dead.
246
00:10:42,067 --> 00:10:45,012
- Guys, stop being negative right now.
- Laying on its side means it's dead.
247
00:10:45,959 --> 00:10:47,422
I wouldn't get
in that water, man.
248
00:10:47,434 --> 00:10:49,147
You're gonna get beaver fever.
249
00:10:49,178 --> 00:10:51,234
Where are my testicles
now, Coach?
250
00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:54,620
When he catches that little critter,
I'm gonna show you how to scale it.
251
00:10:54,663 --> 00:10:56,186
- Ow.
- That hurts?
252
00:10:56,285 --> 00:10:58,676
Yeah, it hurts! A
boulder fell on my...
253
00:10:59,322 --> 00:11:01,502
Is all this 'cause I teased
you about the invite?
254
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:02,838
Yes, it is! No regrets!
255
00:11:04,301 --> 00:11:06,259
- Aw!
- Aw, come on, Nick.
256
00:11:07,604 --> 00:11:08,723
- Yes!
- Quit it.
257
00:11:08,756 --> 00:11:11,065
You guys might be right!
It might be dead!
258
00:11:12,085 --> 00:11:14,192
In fact, it was dead!
259
00:11:15,169 --> 00:11:17,500
Smells fresh... enough!
260
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:19,066
Oh, come on, Winston, what?
261
00:11:19,090 --> 00:11:21,494
You just get your nails done?
Get the apple dirty!
262
00:11:21,524 --> 00:11:23,548
Grind some dirt in it,
grind some dirt in it.
263
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:25,821
- God, I'm so hungry!
- Hey, hey!
264
00:11:25,844 --> 00:11:27,411
- Hey.
- Look what the men brought.
265
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,640
- Oh, hey! Hey, hey!
- The plan worked.
266
00:11:29,677 --> 00:11:32,443
- Hey, he looks like a fighter.
- He really was, kind of.
267
00:11:32,475 --> 00:11:34,426
- Oh, my God!
- Wow.
268
00:11:34,445 --> 00:11:35,577
- I mean, well...
- Whoa.
269
00:11:35,592 --> 00:11:37,963
- Like a smorgasbord.
- You guys did great.
270
00:11:37,975 --> 00:11:39,769
- Yeah, we did.
- Yep.
271
00:11:39,790 --> 00:11:40,822
Where'd you get the cashews?
272
00:11:40,853 --> 00:11:43,231
- Um, on a bush.
- Yeah.
273
00:11:43,527 --> 00:11:44,900
How about the beets?
274
00:11:45,406 --> 00:11:47,000
- Also a bush.
- That's right.
275
00:11:47,025 --> 00:11:49,024
- Yeah.
- The avocado?
276
00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:52,265
- Also on a bush.
- That's right.
277
00:11:52,291 --> 00:11:56,135
Well, look at us. Living off the
land, fending for ourselves.
278
00:11:56,165 --> 00:12:00,520
We got fish and fruits, and this is
probably gonna be the most delicious apple
279
00:12:00,529 --> 00:12:02,363
I've ever eaten in my life.
280
00:12:07,236 --> 00:12:08,948
"Product of Oregon"?
281
00:12:09,167 --> 00:12:11,030
We walked to Oregon?
282
00:12:11,042 --> 00:12:12,162
- What?
- What?
283
00:12:12,186 --> 00:12:13,817
- That's why this cramp...
- Yeah... This place...
284
00:12:13,842 --> 00:12:16,297
Come on, you think the three
of us are true dumb-asses?
285
00:12:16,317 --> 00:12:18,584
We're not. I kind of knew from the
beginning. I mean, there's no way.
286
00:12:18,594 --> 00:12:20,492
You just went to a store
and got all this?
287
00:12:20,525 --> 00:12:21,968
I think so.
288
00:12:22,237 --> 00:12:24,043
I think they definitely bought
everything from the store.
289
00:12:24,061 --> 00:12:27,141
The one thing I wanted was
for us all to sit down
290
00:12:27,166 --> 00:12:30,438
together and have dinner, and you
can't do that without dinner.
291
00:12:30,465 --> 00:12:31,615
We have dinner.
292
00:12:31,628 --> 00:12:33,557
That fish kind of looks
like hippo meat.
293
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:34,586
Come on, man.
294
00:12:34,598 --> 00:12:36,980
Let's just sit down and eat
some delicious almonds.
295
00:12:36,995 --> 00:12:38,133
- And enjoy ourselves.
- Yes.
296
00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:40,200
And have a really nice
Thanksgiving together.
297
00:12:40,212 --> 00:12:42,259
- Come on, Nick, let's eat.
- Come on, man, let's eat.
298
00:12:42,274 --> 00:12:45,121
I feel like how they must've
felt on the first Thanksgiving.
299
00:12:45,988 --> 00:12:47,288
Betrayed.
300
00:12:47,312 --> 00:12:48,546
What?
301
00:12:48,882 --> 00:12:49,951
Happy Thanksgiving.
302
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,398
- Oh, come on. Nick, come on!
- Don't do this.
303
00:12:51,423 --> 00:12:54,046
FYI, the first Thanksgiving
was the good one.
304
00:12:54,060 --> 00:12:57,465
Come on, Nick! These
avocados were expensive!
305
00:12:59,768 --> 00:13:00,997
Here we go.
306
00:13:01,029 --> 00:13:04,906
It smells so good. I can't wait till
it's ready. I'm gonna be so stuffed.
307
00:13:06,262 --> 00:13:07,649
Ooh!
308
00:13:07,668 --> 00:13:10,271
The eyeball fell off. That's
how you know it's good.
309
00:13:10,612 --> 00:13:12,995
They got to pop out
when it's ready, I think.
310
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,613
Now that the cards are
finally on the table,
311
00:13:14,631 --> 00:13:16,901
I guess we can see who the
true camp master really is.
312
00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:19,156
- The answer's me.
- First one to make a flame wins.
313
00:13:19,185 --> 00:13:20,408
Let's do this.
314
00:13:21,423 --> 00:13:23,222
Now, check this out.
315
00:13:24,509 --> 00:13:25,659
This is how you make a flame.
316
00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:28,090
You go with two rocks.
One against the other.
317
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:29,900
You create friction.
318
00:13:30,058 --> 00:13:31,458
- I'm done.
- What?
319
00:13:31,482 --> 00:13:33,901
- I'm done. - Well, that's
barely a flame, it's going out.
320
00:13:33,928 --> 00:13:36,683
Whoa! Well, goodness gracious!
What are you? A sorcerer?
321
00:13:37,844 --> 00:13:39,042
Damn it!
322
00:13:43,543 --> 00:13:45,348
Hey, mountain man.
323
00:13:45,385 --> 00:13:47,785
You want to come eat some
dirty vegetables with us?
324
00:13:47,821 --> 00:13:49,861
I should've known those beets
weren't from nature.
325
00:13:49,873 --> 00:13:51,632
Nothing purple grows in nature.
326
00:13:51,688 --> 00:13:54,500
Look, we didn't
come through, okay?
327
00:13:54,524 --> 00:13:56,249
You came through!
328
00:13:57,347 --> 00:13:58,995
Look, you caught a fish!
329
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:02,018
That's really, really impressive.
How'd you do it?
330
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:03,537
With my bare hands.
331
00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:05,653
- No way! You're so strong.
- Yeah.
332
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:07,407
Yeah, it was... It fought...
333
00:14:08,795 --> 00:14:10,851
- What are you doing?
- I'm not doing anything.
334
00:14:10,869 --> 00:14:14,248
I think that's amazing.
You provided for us.
335
00:14:14,384 --> 00:14:16,733
- You're a man.
- Don't patronize me, Jess.
336
00:14:16,762 --> 00:14:20,250
I'm not. Ever since we
started dating, Jess,
337
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:22,204
we've been doing a
bunch of girly stuff,
338
00:14:22,222 --> 00:14:24,662
and I like some of it
and you, but...
339
00:14:25,016 --> 00:14:28,950
my tolerance to alcohol has,
like, gotten really, scary low.
340
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:32,701
I drank three beers, and I got,
like, all giggly and tired.
341
00:14:32,719 --> 00:14:34,338
And I didn't want a fourth.
342
00:14:34,628 --> 00:14:37,733
Last night, I had a dream
that I was brushing a horse.
343
00:14:38,350 --> 00:14:40,914
I just feel like I'm
losing myself a little.
344
00:14:41,389 --> 00:14:43,798
Just... let me eat this
disgusting fish and...
345
00:14:43,837 --> 00:14:46,293
- No, Nick, Nick.
- Yeah, just let me be over here.
346
00:14:46,311 --> 00:14:48,686
This is the most beautiful
fish I've ever seen.
347
00:14:48,704 --> 00:14:50,142
- It is! - Don't touch...
I wouldn't touch it.
348
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,367
- It is. - Jess, don't...
Don't put your hands in...
349
00:14:52,403 --> 00:14:53,661
Oh, my Lo...
350
00:14:56,235 --> 00:14:57,544
Spit it out.
351
00:14:58,086 --> 00:15:01,007
Mmm...!
352
00:15:01,093 --> 00:15:02,324
Mmm...!
353
00:15:02,355 --> 00:15:04,910
Mmm...!
354
00:15:05,207 --> 00:15:06,245
Fragrant.
355
00:15:06,277 --> 00:15:08,279
Mmm, I can really...
356
00:15:08,873 --> 00:15:10,814
- I can really taste the lake.
- Spit it out.
357
00:15:10,839 --> 00:15:13,637
I feel like I'm there in
the lake with the fish.
358
00:15:13,660 --> 00:15:14,927
Mmm!
359
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:16,609
Bony.
360
00:15:17,299 --> 00:15:19,359
That's gonna hurt going down.
361
00:15:19,815 --> 00:15:21,453
But I like it.
362
00:15:22,003 --> 00:15:23,584
Hurts so good!
363
00:15:23,784 --> 00:15:25,528
Hurts so good!
364
00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:27,558
Jess, that fish was dead
when I caught it.
365
00:15:27,951 --> 00:15:29,783
There was a sock near it.
366
00:15:34,950 --> 00:15:36,184
- I'm gonna come with you.
- No.
367
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:37,670
Jess, let me come with you.
368
00:15:37,695 --> 00:15:39,350
- Where are you going?
- There's something over here.
369
00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:40,833
- I'm gonna look at it.
- Jess...
370
00:15:40,915 --> 00:15:44,321
I'm seeing some
interesting things.
371
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,048
I'm out of the
office till Friday.
372
00:15:47,485 --> 00:15:51,931
For immediate assistance, please
call Deb at extension A.C. Slater.
373
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:54,822
You guys see where she went?
374
00:15:54,841 --> 00:15:55,877
- No.
- No. Jess?
375
00:15:55,896 --> 00:15:57,371
- Jess? - Jess?
- Jess!
376
00:15:57,399 --> 00:15:58,785
- Jess?
- Jess?
377
00:15:59,053 --> 00:16:00,520
Jess?
378
00:16:00,951 --> 00:16:02,076
Jess!
379
00:16:02,780 --> 00:16:06,753
I just want to see more carpet samples
before I make a final decision.
380
00:16:07,615 --> 00:16:09,884
- Jess!
- Jess?
381
00:16:10,734 --> 00:16:13,428
Jess! Jess, where are you?
382
00:16:13,453 --> 00:16:15,253
- Jess!
- Jessica!
383
00:16:15,277 --> 00:16:18,072
Oh, God, this is all my fault.
384
00:16:18,342 --> 00:16:20,098
And you know what, Coach?
385
00:16:20,122 --> 00:16:21,586
I did like the invitation.
386
00:16:21,845 --> 00:16:24,443
I made it. And I liked the little
trumpet guy. I thought he was cute.
387
00:16:24,479 --> 00:16:26,422
- He was cute as a damn button!
- What?
388
00:16:26,790 --> 00:16:29,300
- So many st...
- Hey, guys, look. There she is!
389
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:31,801
There are dogs that
have dollar signs
390
00:16:31,996 --> 00:16:34,084
but don't even own banks.
391
00:16:34,106 --> 00:16:35,942
- Jess, we're over here!
- Jess! - Wait, wait, wait.
392
00:16:35,968 --> 00:16:38,616
I've seen that tree before.
Jess, stop!
393
00:16:38,641 --> 00:16:40,361
The bear trap!
394
00:16:40,402 --> 00:16:42,590
- No!
- I'm coming!
395
00:16:42,895 --> 00:16:44,196
Jess!
396
00:16:46,433 --> 00:16:48,858
Headfirst? Why?
397
00:16:51,977 --> 00:16:53,600
Son of a...
398
00:16:53,844 --> 00:16:56,479
Oh, my God, Jess,
I am so sorry.
399
00:16:56,523 --> 00:17:00,124
I was an idiot. This
Thanksgiving plan was so stupid.
400
00:17:00,148 --> 00:17:02,123
You shouldn't have eaten
that fish. I'm sorry.
401
00:17:02,141 --> 00:17:04,117
Don't let them pay
the bill, okay?
402
00:17:04,147 --> 00:17:06,000
You bring the check to me.
403
00:17:06,128 --> 00:17:07,688
No arguments, moon man.
404
00:17:07,729 --> 00:17:09,659
- Oh, my God!
- Is anyone hurt?
405
00:17:09,691 --> 00:17:13,547
We're fine.
I may have cracked a few ribs, and, uh,
406
00:17:13,935 --> 00:17:15,636
Jess is delirious.
407
00:17:15,678 --> 00:17:17,328
I think she thinks
she's a rabbit.
408
00:17:17,341 --> 00:17:18,951
Guys, we're gonna figure
something out, all right?
409
00:17:18,981 --> 00:17:20,778
Just get us a rope or
a stick or something.
410
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,333
- All right, man, so, any ideas?
- What are you talk...?
411
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:24,944
You know what, Coach?
Don't humor me.
412
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,521
- What?
- You know what to do.
413
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,884
Look, I admit it. You're a
better camper than I am.
414
00:17:28,897 --> 00:17:32,459
You're better at life than I am. You're
probably better at dating Cece than I am.
415
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:36,643
I saw you guys the other night inhaling
each other in front of the loft.
416
00:17:36,670 --> 00:17:39,320
Schmidt, that's all we did.
That was it.
417
00:17:39,381 --> 00:17:41,556
I asked her to come upstairs,
she said no, okay?
418
00:17:41,581 --> 00:17:43,423
And now she won't return
any of my text messages.
419
00:17:43,435 --> 00:17:45,091
She's been ignoring
me this whole trip.
420
00:17:45,110 --> 00:17:47,239
I'm all, like, "Hey."
She's like, "Mm-hmm."
421
00:17:47,264 --> 00:17:49,068
I'm like, "What?"
422
00:17:50,794 --> 00:17:52,780
- Why are you smiling, dude?
- I'm not smiling.
423
00:17:52,791 --> 00:17:54,416
I'm over here baring my soul
to you, dude, and you're
424
00:17:54,436 --> 00:17:56,811
- freaking smiling in my face. - Yeah.
This is the face I make when I listen.
425
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,506
- All your teeth show when you listen?
- I'm not.
426
00:17:58,524 --> 00:18:00,050
You're smiling right now.
I opened up to you.
427
00:18:00,068 --> 00:18:01,668
- You're pissing me off. Stop smiling.
- I'm not.
428
00:18:01,692 --> 00:18:03,455
- I will wreck you.
- You're crazy, man.
429
00:18:03,481 --> 00:18:05,179
- You're nuts.
- Stop it, listen to me.
430
00:18:05,198 --> 00:18:08,442
We are going to solve this right now.
All right, take your pants off.
431
00:18:08,513 --> 00:18:11,456
Okay, I am no Eagle Scout, but I
know how to make a pants rope.
432
00:18:11,475 --> 00:18:13,020
- Pants rope.
- You're a genius.
433
00:18:13,045 --> 00:18:14,846
- I know. - Okay.
- Are you gonna take off your pants?
434
00:18:14,877 --> 00:18:17,340
Yeah, right after I take off my bra so
we can anchor the rope to the tree.
435
00:18:17,353 --> 00:18:19,121
- That's gonna happen for real?
- Just take them off now.
436
00:18:19,169 --> 00:18:23,611
Whoa, look at Winston's pants.
It's got kittens on it.
437
00:18:23,635 --> 00:18:25,745
- These aren't kittens.
- I cannot believe I'm here voluntarily.
438
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,353
- So stupid. Take them off.
- They're coming off.
439
00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:31,163
Here, you guys, grab
hold of the rope.
440
00:18:32,139 --> 00:18:34,173
Okay, you go first, Jess.
441
00:18:34,204 --> 00:18:36,429
I'll be right behind
you to support you.
442
00:18:36,451 --> 00:18:38,657
- Ding, dong, ding, dong!
- What are you doing?
443
00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:40,961
Okay, how about this? Get on
my back, I'll bring us both up.
444
00:18:40,979 --> 00:18:43,385
- Back at you.
- Whoa.
445
00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:44,633
You can do it!
446
00:18:44,695 --> 00:18:46,602
There, hold this
flashlight, buddy.
447
00:18:46,782 --> 00:18:48,270
Grab hold.
448
00:18:48,291 --> 00:18:49,863
- Come on, Nick! - Come on.
- Here we go!
449
00:18:49,881 --> 00:18:52,078
Oh, God, I'm gonna
get you out of here.
450
00:18:53,864 --> 00:18:55,439
Use your legs, Nick.
451
00:18:56,943 --> 00:18:58,456
Come on, Nick!
452
00:18:58,742 --> 00:18:59,722
Come on.
453
00:18:59,743 --> 00:19:02,236
- Ah, Winston, I hate your leggings.
- Come on.
454
00:19:02,248 --> 00:19:03,236
Almost there.
455
00:19:03,265 --> 00:19:05,601
- Let's go.
- You got it, you got it.
456
00:19:05,633 --> 00:19:06,908
You got it, you...
457
00:19:13,889 --> 00:19:15,540
You chubby son of a bitch.
458
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:17,289
Yeah.
459
00:19:17,952 --> 00:19:20,590
- You okay, Jess, you all right?
- Yeah!
460
00:19:20,604 --> 00:19:22,166
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
461
00:19:22,201 --> 00:19:23,501
Oh!
462
00:19:29,365 --> 00:19:30,200
Hey.
463
00:19:30,218 --> 00:19:32,648
Thanks for saving me,
mountain man.
464
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,448
So I've got good news
from the doctor:
465
00:19:35,715 --> 00:19:37,683
you don't have rabies.
466
00:19:37,832 --> 00:19:38,628
Oh.
467
00:19:38,647 --> 00:19:42,946
You have, uh, giardia and something
called Legionnaires' disease.
468
00:19:43,764 --> 00:19:46,478
I'm just glad they were
able to save your foot.
469
00:19:47,327 --> 00:19:49,416
- What?
- No, nothing.
470
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,222
Never mind.
471
00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:56,029
Hey, I'm sorry
472
00:19:56,504 --> 00:19:58,054
about the whole camping thing.
473
00:19:58,224 --> 00:19:59,660
Oh, no, it's okay.
474
00:19:59,679 --> 00:20:02,754
Ah, I was really stupid.
I haven't been myself.
475
00:20:03,887 --> 00:20:05,833
You're the man I want.
476
00:20:08,612 --> 00:20:12,226
All you wanted was for everyone to
be together on Thanksgiving, Jess.
477
00:20:13,542 --> 00:20:15,180
Next year.
478
00:20:18,757 --> 00:20:20,323
- Potato chips.
- Chips?
479
00:20:20,371 --> 00:20:21,884
Maybe a treat.
480
00:20:26,940 --> 00:20:28,874
Listen, Coach, uh,
481
00:20:29,224 --> 00:20:30,567
in the spirit of Thanksgiving,
482
00:20:30,591 --> 00:20:33,160
I thought maybe that I could
give you some advice about...
483
00:20:33,185 --> 00:20:34,298
about Cece.
484
00:20:34,330 --> 00:20:37,135
- How desperate do you think I am?
- I think you're probably very desperate.
485
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,555
I'm very desperate, I mean,
she's giving me nothing.
486
00:20:39,582 --> 00:20:41,676
Told her she looked
pretty, she said thanks.
487
00:20:41,697 --> 00:20:43,047
- Mm-hmm.
- What kind of mind game is that?
488
00:20:43,074 --> 00:20:45,393
Look, Coach, things have
always come easy to you.
489
00:20:45,468 --> 00:20:48,804
Cece is not going to be
one of those things.
490
00:20:49,261 --> 00:20:53,936
I once spent hours in a car with
just a cracked window for air.
491
00:20:54,081 --> 00:20:57,237
She was going into a club and
she just kind of left me there.
492
00:20:57,708 --> 00:20:59,298
Why are you smiling about that?
493
00:20:59,629 --> 00:21:03,513
Hey, guys, I figured out a way to
save Thanksgiving. I got a plan.
494
00:21:03,526 --> 00:21:05,201
- Enough with the plans.
- Not another Nick Miller plan.
495
00:21:05,228 --> 00:21:07,159
I love you, man, but you
are terrible at plans.
496
00:21:08,108 --> 00:21:08,953
Hey.
497
00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:11,961
It's still 11:48, so
happy Thanksgiving.
498
00:21:11,973 --> 00:21:13,219
What?
499
00:21:13,414 --> 00:21:16,693
Got us some Brazilian nuts, a
couple of string cheeses, and.
500
00:21:16,757 --> 00:21:18,627
- Snack.
- Thank you.
501
00:21:18,650 --> 00:21:20,175
I got the parade on my phone.
502
00:21:20,194 --> 00:21:22,282
- Yes.
- Made some decorations.
503
00:21:22,313 --> 00:21:26,126
I think this may be a turkey
sandwich, but I'm not sure,
504
00:21:26,149 --> 00:21:28,563
- and I know this whole thing isn't...
- It's perfect.
505
00:21:28,581 --> 00:21:30,566
Look, guys, start without me
506
00:21:30,595 --> 00:21:33,290
because it might be a few
weeks before I can eat again.
507
00:21:33,741 --> 00:21:35,545
You were throwing up a lot.
508
00:21:36,257 --> 00:21:38,213
That was scary...
509
00:21:38,525 --> 00:21:39,979
seriously.
510
00:21:40,011 --> 00:21:41,916
- Okay, I'm starving actually. Let's eat.
- Yeah, let's eat.
511
00:21:41,939 --> 00:21:43,620
Nick found all this
food in the woods.
512
00:21:45,002 --> 00:21:46,658
- Can I have the ginger ale?
- Yeah, Nick found that.
513
00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:48,407
It's already open.
514
00:21:52,552 --> 00:21:57,552
Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther