1
00:00:00,805 --> 00:00:04,312
Kirstie is recorded in front
of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:17,058
- You were wonderful.
- Thank you.
3
00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:19,066
She meant me.
4
00:00:20,003 --> 00:00:21,954
Thank you for coming.
5
00:00:21,988 --> 00:00:24,779
- Can I get a picture?
- Over here, Madison!
6
00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:29,679
- Frank speaking.
- Maddie freezing.
7
00:00:29,713 --> 00:00:32,243
Where the hell are you, Frank?
It's 10 degrees out here.
8
00:00:32,244 --> 00:00:35,722
I can't feel my face,
and it's not the Botox.
9
00:00:35,931 --> 00:00:38,971
I'm two minutes away.
I just got a little held up.
10
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:42,775
Frank, you're not taking people on tours
in the backseat of my car again, are you?
11
00:00:42,783 --> 00:00:47,920
No, I'm stuck in traffic, right in front
of the fabulous Radio City Music Hall,
12
00:00:47,955 --> 00:00:51,824
home of the world-famous Rockettes.
13
00:00:51,842 --> 00:00:54,093
- Frank!
- I'm gonna be there in a minute.
14
00:00:54,127 --> 00:00:58,497
Should I pick you up anything
at the world-renowned Carnegie Deli?
15
00:01:00,923 --> 00:01:03,599
I want you here when I'm ready.
16
00:01:04,035 --> 00:01:05,516
Bring me a corned beef.
17
00:01:06,780 --> 00:01:09,557
Oh, oh, that's my phone.
That's my phone!
18
00:01:09,558 --> 00:01:12,226
Ow, my eyes!
19
00:01:12,344 --> 00:01:16,392
Why would you pepper-spray me?
I was just giving it back to you.
20
00:01:16,393 --> 00:01:19,151
You weren't pepper-sprayed.
You were Chanel-ed.
21
00:01:20,031 --> 00:01:22,719
You're Madison Banks,
right?
22
00:01:22,731 --> 00:01:24,863
That depends.
Are you litigious?
23
00:01:24,927 --> 00:01:30,265
No, but I'm pretty sure I'm the kid
you gave up for adoption 26 years ago.
24
00:01:33,903 --> 00:01:36,840
Ow, son of a bitch!
25
00:01:44,377 --> 00:01:47,031
Season 1, Episode 1
"Pilot"
26
00:01:47,860 --> 00:01:50,860
Synced by Reef
www.addic7ed.com
27
00:01:51,094 --> 00:01:52,942
- Thelma, Thelma.
- Relax.
28
00:01:52,993 --> 00:01:55,778
Frank called, and he told me
you were bringing home a guest.
29
00:01:55,830 --> 00:02:00,394
I set the lights in your room to make
you look as alluring as possible.
30
00:02:00,882 --> 00:02:02,601
They're off.
31
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:05,461
No, no, Thelma, something
really weird happened.
32
00:02:05,635 --> 00:02:08,085
Whoa, not bad.
33
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:11,974
You're what they call
back home "lottery rich."
34
00:02:12,823 --> 00:02:14,509
This is your date?
35
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:17,903
You're seeing the eye doctor
tomorrow.
36
00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:21,073
Hi, I'm Arlo.
Arlo Barth.
37
00:02:21,107 --> 00:02:24,537
I'm Thelma Katz,
Miss Banks' personal assistant.
38
00:02:24,615 --> 00:02:26,144
Oh, sorry.
39
00:02:26,162 --> 00:02:28,480
My hands get real sweaty
when I'm nervous.
40
00:02:28,498 --> 00:02:31,083
- Actually, all of me does.
- Oh.
41
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:33,669
Don't touch my back.
42
00:02:33,703 --> 00:02:35,537
Arlo, Arlo, come here.
43
00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:37,005
Why don't you go
in the kitchen?
44
00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,205
My personal chef will make you
anything you want.
45
00:02:40,206 --> 00:02:43,732
You have a personal chef,
a driver, and an assistant?
46
00:02:43,733 --> 00:02:46,118
You're like a white Oprah.
47
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:50,232
Did you tell her yet?
Isn't it incredible?
48
00:02:50,233 --> 00:02:51,503
Tell me what?
49
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:54,294
That kid who came in with
her, he came out of her.
50
00:02:54,558 --> 00:02:56,341
Okay, hold it.
51
00:02:56,359 --> 00:02:59,288
You mean that's the baby
you gave up for...
52
00:02:59,302 --> 00:03:02,319
Whoa, wait a minute.
53
00:03:02,353 --> 00:03:04,886
Thelma knew that you had a kid
that you gave up for adoption,
54
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,404
but you didn't tell me?
55
00:03:06,451 --> 00:03:08,575
- What gives?
- Frank, you're my driver.
56
00:03:08,609 --> 00:03:10,610
We have
a professional relationship.
57
00:03:10,644 --> 00:03:11,945
Professional?
58
00:03:11,979 --> 00:03:16,199
I cut you out of your spanx
every night in that car.
59
00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:18,418
Maddie, that kid
you brought home,
60
00:03:18,453 --> 00:03:20,581
he just told me he's the one
you gave up for adoption.
61
00:03:20,582 --> 00:03:23,090
Oh, the cook knows too.
62
00:03:23,124 --> 00:03:25,375
Well, apparently,
I'm good enough
63
00:03:25,426 --> 00:03:29,179
to hold your weed in the airport
but not your secrets.
64
00:03:30,908 --> 00:03:34,017
God, I'm hyperventilating.
65
00:03:34,051 --> 00:03:36,154
Thelma, do that thing you do
to calm me down.
66
00:03:36,155 --> 00:03:39,697
- What thing?
- With the glass and the alcohol.
67
00:03:41,152 --> 00:03:44,772
This isn't happening.
Maybe it's not even him, right?
68
00:03:44,823 --> 00:03:48,125
I don't know.
He's got your boobs.
69
00:03:50,068 --> 00:03:53,163
Just calm down, okay?
Let's just figure this out.
70
00:03:56,501 --> 00:03:59,253
We gonna kill him?
71
00:03:59,287 --> 00:04:00,671
Why would we kill him?
72
00:04:00,705 --> 00:04:04,291
Well, I'm just saying
I used to drive for 50 Cent.
73
00:04:04,342 --> 00:04:07,675
I know how this movie goes.
74
00:04:08,008 --> 00:04:12,353
Oh, oh, here you are. I got lost
and ended up in a workout room.
75
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,238
I have a workout room?
76
00:04:15,683 --> 00:04:20,353
So, Arlo, let me see
how I can put this delicately.
77
00:04:20,562 --> 00:04:25,323
Are you some scumbag con man
looking for a quick payday?
78
00:04:25,341 --> 00:04:28,042
Look, I get it.
You want proof.
79
00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:31,713
I figured you would.
Here are the papers.
80
00:04:31,764 --> 00:04:33,670
I didn't even know
I was adopted.
81
00:04:33,671 --> 00:04:37,769
I just found them in my mother's things
after she passed away last month.
82
00:04:37,803 --> 00:04:39,854
Oh, I'm so sorry.
83
00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:41,973
Say something nice.
84
00:04:42,007 --> 00:04:45,567
Dead mom?
What are you gonna do?
85
00:04:46,845 --> 00:04:49,754
Would you excuse us
for a sec?
86
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,452
I can't believe
she has a kid.
87
00:04:57,406 --> 00:05:01,326
So what's she like?
Is she a cool boss?
88
00:05:05,635 --> 00:05:09,357
- Whoa, whoa, is that...
- Chill, brother, it's medicinal.
89
00:05:09,967 --> 00:05:12,670
Don't tell your mother,
but I'm half blind.
90
00:05:15,267 --> 00:05:19,189
I hate to tell you, Maddie, but
these adoption papers look legit.
91
00:05:19,190 --> 00:05:22,306
"I relinquish all rights
to my child.
92
00:05:22,340 --> 00:05:24,775
Love and light,
Madison Banks."
93
00:05:24,809 --> 00:05:28,646
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
It can't be him.
94
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,649
Look at me.
I'm pretty.
95
00:05:32,901 --> 00:05:35,786
Oh, wait a minute.
I just remembered something.
96
00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:38,689
The baby had
a very specific birthmark.
97
00:05:38,707 --> 00:05:40,357
Great.
Where is it?
98
00:05:44,579 --> 00:05:48,499
Yes, sir,
that's your baby.
99
00:05:49,718 --> 00:05:53,387
Oh, my God,
you are him.
100
00:05:55,336 --> 00:05:57,504
This is blowing my mind.
101
00:05:57,522 --> 00:06:00,885
You're my biological mother.
102
00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:05,117
You know, I think
we have the same nose.
103
00:06:05,605 --> 00:06:08,774
Not unless we have
the same surgeon.
104
00:06:08,816 --> 00:06:12,452
Oh, before I forget,
I've got something for you.
105
00:06:12,487 --> 00:06:16,020
Oh, my God, this is his revenge.
He's got a gun!
106
00:06:16,875 --> 00:06:19,894
No, it's just
a gift I made.
107
00:06:29,003 --> 00:06:31,415
He's twisted.
I like him.
108
00:06:31,872 --> 00:06:34,207
I'll just open this
a little later.
109
00:06:34,225 --> 00:06:37,707
So are you
into Civil War reenactments?
110
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,642
I do those, like,
once a month.
111
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:45,370
At the battle of Gettysburg,
I played dead for 13 hours.
112
00:06:45,981 --> 00:06:49,741
The trick?
Eyes open, no blinking.
113
00:06:50,349 --> 00:06:52,651
Yeah, exactly like that.
114
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:59,576
You know, Arlo, I'm not exactly
sure what you're looking for.
115
00:06:59,610 --> 00:07:02,112
Do you have any questions
you'd like to ask me?
116
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:05,321
Yeah.
Why'd you give me up?
117
00:07:06,918 --> 00:07:09,783
At least he didn't ask
for a kidney.
118
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:17,026
I figured you got pregnant in high school
and were too young to handle a child,
119
00:07:17,027 --> 00:07:20,396
so with tears in your eyes, you made
the toughest decision of your life.
120
00:07:20,412 --> 00:07:21,631
Close.
121
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:25,953
I was 24, and I'd just been offered
the lead in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,
122
00:07:26,075 --> 00:07:28,385
and I wanted
to be a star.
123
00:07:30,775 --> 00:07:34,778
But with tears in my eyes,
124
00:07:35,113 --> 00:07:38,615
I made the toughest decision
of my life.
125
00:07:38,649 --> 00:07:41,285
Oh, and my father?
126
00:07:41,319 --> 00:07:43,170
Oh, could have been
any number of guys
127
00:07:43,204 --> 00:07:46,776
in a summer stock production
of Jesus Christ Superstar.
128
00:07:47,298 --> 00:07:49,883
- Any number?
- Well, not any number.
129
00:07:49,884 --> 00:07:52,705
There were only 12 apostles.
130
00:07:53,787 --> 00:07:56,089
So, Arlo,
tell us about you.
131
00:07:56,123 --> 00:08:00,477
Well, I live in Trenton, New Jersey,
and I work at The Glazed Hole.
132
00:08:00,511 --> 00:08:02,639
Is that a gay bar?
133
00:08:03,014 --> 00:08:05,515
The gays love me.
134
00:08:05,566 --> 00:08:08,318
No, it's a doughnut shop.
135
00:08:10,638 --> 00:08:13,199
Doughnuts love her too.
136
00:08:13,908 --> 00:08:17,955
So that's your life, working
at the glazed hole?
137
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:20,654
I guess.
138
00:08:20,688 --> 00:08:24,029
I mean, not everyone's meant
to be a star.
139
00:08:24,035 --> 00:08:26,904
Some people just live
and then die.
140
00:08:26,955 --> 00:08:30,124
Oh, Arlo, look.
141
00:08:30,158 --> 00:08:35,169
I had a lot of doors slammed in my face
when I was starting out.
142
00:08:37,048 --> 00:08:39,583
My Tony...
143
00:08:41,586 --> 00:08:44,130
Is that the right position?
144
00:08:44,639 --> 00:08:46,056
Perfect.
145
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:53,036
But what I'm saying is
that I believed in myself.
146
00:08:53,048 --> 00:08:55,142
I knew I had
something inside me.
147
00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:58,762
Like she said, it could have
been any number of guys.
148
00:09:00,905 --> 00:09:04,275
The point is
that Wednesday night,
149
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:07,778
I am opening
in my 14th Broadway show,
150
00:09:07,829 --> 00:09:10,586
and I didn't have to sleep
with anyone for the last five.
151
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:14,036
I've never even been
to a Broadway show before.
152
00:09:14,037 --> 00:09:16,288
Do you think
I could come and see it?
153
00:09:17,940 --> 00:09:20,275
Oh, and I was wondering
if next week,
154
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:23,733
you wanted to come out to Newark to watch
me in the battle of Chancellorsville.
155
00:09:23,734 --> 00:09:24,945
Newark...?
156
00:09:24,946 --> 00:09:28,162
And I know it's a long shot,
but since you're a celebrity,
157
00:09:28,163 --> 00:09:30,457
I was hoping maybe you could
pull a couple strings
158
00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:32,751
and get us on Family Feud.
159
00:09:33,452 --> 00:09:37,755
Oh, Arlo, I'm gonna be
really, really busy
160
00:09:37,789 --> 00:09:40,458
with this play for a while,
so you know what?
161
00:09:40,509 --> 00:09:42,449
Why don't we
just stay in touch?
162
00:09:42,450 --> 00:09:45,429
- Oh, um, okay.
- Okay.
163
00:09:45,464 --> 00:09:50,374
Oh, and if you have any more questions
for me, here's my autobiography.
164
00:09:51,887 --> 00:09:55,056
- Well, uh, thanks.
- Take care.
165
00:09:56,858 --> 00:09:58,559
You're unbelievable.
166
00:09:58,593 --> 00:10:00,811
You treated him
like he was one of your fans.
167
00:10:00,862 --> 00:10:03,097
That is your kid.
168
00:10:03,115 --> 00:10:05,900
That chapter of my life
was over long ago.
169
00:10:05,934 --> 00:10:08,185
I'm not revisiting it.
170
00:10:09,955 --> 00:10:14,241
You know, I still remember the day that
I handed him over to the social worker,
171
00:10:14,275 --> 00:10:16,742
and I kept thinking
to myself,
172
00:10:17,188 --> 00:10:21,009
this is when you can change
your mind and take him back.
173
00:10:22,513 --> 00:10:24,443
And I didn't.
174
00:10:25,453 --> 00:10:27,343
I'm not a mother.
175
00:10:37,465 --> 00:10:40,179
Mm, excuse me.
176
00:10:41,335 --> 00:10:43,510
- Hey!
- Holy crap.
177
00:10:43,511 --> 00:10:47,505
- Thelma, it's back.
- The herpes?
178
00:10:48,676 --> 00:10:51,895
No, Arlo. He's here.
And these are my best friends.
179
00:10:51,946 --> 00:10:55,115
It's not the time for a sweaty,
doughnut-making skeleton
180
00:10:55,149 --> 00:10:57,067
to fall out of my closet.
181
00:10:57,118 --> 00:10:59,786
Maybe he hasn't lit
the world on fire yet,
182
00:10:59,821 --> 00:11:02,906
but I think that boy
is a diamond in the rough.
183
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,854
Go on, open the door.
184
00:11:10,381 --> 00:11:14,584
So, Arlo,
what brings you here,
185
00:11:14,635 --> 00:11:18,258
past two doormen
and a security camera?
186
00:11:18,259 --> 00:11:21,554
Is this a bad time? I left
my backpack here last night.
187
00:11:21,629 --> 00:11:24,146
By the way,
I love your hair.
188
00:11:24,269 --> 00:11:27,071
You look just like
Marge Simpson.
189
00:11:30,270 --> 00:11:33,532
- Um, are you having a party?
- No, I'm not having a party.
190
00:11:33,545 --> 00:11:36,376
Bye, Maddie.
Great party.
191
00:11:37,638 --> 00:11:40,306
Cool, I get to meet
all your friends.
192
00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:42,892
It's not really a party.
It's more of a business meeting.
193
00:11:42,943 --> 00:11:45,111
Oh, thanks.
194
00:11:45,146 --> 00:11:47,743
Oh, look, Frank,
Arlo's here.
195
00:11:47,798 --> 00:11:50,349
Hey, kid.
Great to see you.
196
00:11:50,367 --> 00:11:53,453
I'm telling you,
I can still kill him.
197
00:11:53,487 --> 00:11:55,739
Arlo, let's go
in the kitchen.
198
00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:58,742
Wow, these tiny beans are a little
salty, but I'm digging 'em.
199
00:11:58,793 --> 00:12:02,365
- Great. They're $300 an ounce.
- Worth it.
200
00:12:02,913 --> 00:12:04,831
Who is this young man?
201
00:12:04,865 --> 00:12:07,550
I don't recall seeing you
at any of Maddie's parties.
202
00:12:07,585 --> 00:12:12,206
- Jeffrey Sheppard, actor.
- Arlo Barth, reenactor.
203
00:12:13,340 --> 00:12:15,208
And how do you
know Maddie?
204
00:12:15,226 --> 00:12:18,478
He's my...
hey, that fat girl looks drunk.
205
00:12:18,512 --> 00:12:20,067
Where?
206
00:12:24,351 --> 00:12:28,738
Uh, I'm getting kind of a weird vibe.
Do you not want me here?
207
00:12:28,773 --> 00:12:30,907
Oh, don't be silly.
208
00:12:30,941 --> 00:12:33,893
It's just, you're not
quite dressed for the occasion,
209
00:12:33,911 --> 00:12:36,138
but I have this jacket
for you to wear.
210
00:12:41,702 --> 00:12:45,568
- But this is a waiter's jacket.
- And you make it work.
211
00:12:45,783 --> 00:12:48,235
I'm not stupid,
you know.
212
00:12:48,926 --> 00:12:50,093
I can see
what's going on here.
213
00:12:50,127 --> 00:12:51,711
- You're embarrassed by me.
- Embarrassed...?
214
00:12:51,745 --> 00:12:55,634
Listen, I'm starting to think that
this whole thing was a dumb idea.
215
00:12:56,217 --> 00:12:59,457
Maybe we should just go back
to not knowing each other.
216
00:12:59,937 --> 00:13:03,556
It was interesting
meeting you.
217
00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:10,635
What?
218
00:13:10,669 --> 00:13:12,420
He wanted to go,
219
00:13:12,471 --> 00:13:16,457
and he's leaving with $2,000
worth of caviar in his belly.
220
00:13:16,478 --> 00:13:18,764
Not such a sad story.
221
00:13:22,723 --> 00:13:27,493
Wow, "The Glazed Hole" makes it
sound fancier than it is.
222
00:13:33,329 --> 00:13:34,846
Excuse me?
223
00:13:36,255 --> 00:13:37,837
Hello...?
224
00:13:38,345 --> 00:13:41,541
- Hello?
- I hear you. I'm not ready yet. Eh.
225
00:13:42,627 --> 00:13:45,210
Tanya, I finished
cleaning out the...
226
00:13:46,549 --> 00:13:48,417
What are you doing here?
227
00:13:48,451 --> 00:13:51,470
Arlo, after you left last
night, I felt just terrible.
228
00:13:51,504 --> 00:13:54,223
That's why I drove all the way
out here to apologize.
229
00:13:54,257 --> 00:13:56,391
Uh, you had Frank drive.
230
00:13:56,426 --> 00:14:01,026
Yes, but my seat warmer was broken,
so I could barely sleep comfortably.
231
00:14:01,848 --> 00:14:04,933
I opened the gift
you gave me.
232
00:14:04,967 --> 00:14:07,519
Thank you
for the mother's day card.
233
00:14:07,988 --> 00:14:10,511
I've never gotten one
before.
234
00:14:10,659 --> 00:14:12,063
Or given one.
235
00:14:12,308 --> 00:14:14,679
FYI, your grandmother's
a bitch.
236
00:14:15,612 --> 00:14:17,579
It's too late for this.
I'm working.
237
00:14:17,614 --> 00:14:20,949
Yeah, that grease isn't gonna
skim itself, lard ass.
238
00:14:20,983 --> 00:14:23,749
Hey, you cannot talk to him
like that.
239
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:27,336
That's my...
You know, he's my...
240
00:14:27,337 --> 00:14:30,532
Son. T-word is "son."
You can't even say it.
241
00:14:30,599 --> 00:14:33,285
- Just go.
- Arlo, please.
242
00:14:33,546 --> 00:14:35,714
So you're the famous actress
I never heard of
243
00:14:35,765 --> 00:14:38,402
who put Captain Sweaty
up for adoption.
244
00:14:38,425 --> 00:14:41,644
I can't say I blame you.
That boy is pitiful.
245
00:14:44,173 --> 00:14:45,857
Hey, you're not
allowed back here.
246
00:14:45,892 --> 00:14:46,975
Yeah, but you have
something right there.
247
00:14:47,009 --> 00:14:48,810
- Where?
- Right here.
248
00:14:51,231 --> 00:14:54,408
- Now it's gone.
- Are you crazy?
249
00:15:00,226 --> 00:15:03,792
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
what are you doing?
250
00:15:03,843 --> 00:15:05,543
I'm standing up for you.
251
00:15:05,577 --> 00:15:09,347
Where do you get off trying to play
mother when it's convenient for you?
252
00:15:09,382 --> 00:15:11,703
You wouldn't even tell
your friends who I was.
253
00:15:11,704 --> 00:15:14,240
Arlo,
you don't understand.
254
00:15:14,603 --> 00:15:17,884
This isn't easy for me.
My friends think I'm 36.
255
00:15:18,299 --> 00:15:19,799
What about me?
256
00:15:19,805 --> 00:15:22,124
I meet the woman who gave me up
when I was born,
257
00:15:22,125 --> 00:15:23,826
and then
she gives me up again.
258
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:26,025
You're just this rich snob
259
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:29,122
who's so lonely, she has to pay
her employees to be her friends
260
00:15:29,123 --> 00:15:31,239
because she has
no one else in her life.
261
00:15:31,357 --> 00:15:33,024
Well, you know what?
262
00:15:33,181 --> 00:15:36,734
You could have had someone else,
but you didn't want him.
263
00:15:37,448 --> 00:15:42,600
Okay, your total
comes to $160.28.
264
00:15:46,182 --> 00:15:48,765
You are so good to me.
265
00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:51,315
Can I ask you a question,
Thelma?
266
00:15:51,333 --> 00:15:56,185
Are you my friend, or do you just do
all these things because I pay you?
267
00:15:56,186 --> 00:15:57,759
Oh, honey.
268
00:15:57,794 --> 00:15:59,535
Both.
269
00:16:00,778 --> 00:16:03,163
Maddie,
where's this coming from?
270
00:16:03,164 --> 00:16:04,962
It's just been
in my head.
271
00:16:04,996 --> 00:16:07,265
Look, you've got
to pull yourself together.
272
00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:08,947
This is the
opening night.
273
00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:13,554
- You need your head in the game.
- I know. I just so blew it with Arlo.
274
00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:16,046
I just wanted him to give me
another chance,
275
00:16:16,047 --> 00:16:18,332
and now
I'll never see him again.
276
00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:21,594
Front row, in the box,
stage right.
277
00:16:21,839 --> 00:16:23,473
What?
How did you get him?
278
00:16:23,474 --> 00:16:26,971
Frank and I went to his place, and
I just told him he can't give up on you.
279
00:16:26,972 --> 00:16:29,056
You're a diamond
in the rough too.
280
00:16:29,886 --> 00:16:32,823
- So he's forgiven me?
- Well, not quite.
281
00:16:32,857 --> 00:16:37,164
Took some arm-twisting to get him here,
but he's not very strong.
282
00:16:38,366 --> 00:16:40,409
The rest is up to you.
283
00:16:43,418 --> 00:16:47,785
You know, Owen, I'm not
half the woman I used to be.
284
00:16:47,786 --> 00:16:50,591
And I'm not half the drinker
I used to be.
285
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:57,425
- So, darling, do you have any regrets?
- None.
286
00:16:57,474 --> 00:17:01,978
Then let's get
the honeymoon started.
287
00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:05,267
Wait!
288
00:17:05,490 --> 00:17:08,823
- I have a regret.
- No, I don't think you do.
289
00:17:09,216 --> 00:17:11,287
Yeah, I do.
290
00:17:12,802 --> 00:17:14,316
20...
291
00:17:15,846 --> 00:17:19,071
26 years ago,
I gave up something,
292
00:17:19,704 --> 00:17:23,024
and I think about that loss
every single day,
293
00:17:24,409 --> 00:17:26,210
and I'm so sorry.
294
00:17:26,244 --> 00:17:29,180
I'm not very good
at this mothering thing,
295
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:32,251
but I think I might be able
to get better.
296
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,769
But I could at least
be a good friend.
297
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:38,556
And by good friend,
you mean wife,
298
00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:41,692
so let's get
the honeymoon started.
299
00:17:41,726 --> 00:17:44,195
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait!
300
00:17:50,702 --> 00:17:53,704
All I'm asking for
is a second chance.
301
00:17:53,738 --> 00:17:57,575
I think that you and I could
have something really special.
302
00:17:57,609 --> 00:18:00,165
I think so too!
303
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:05,049
I'm willing to try,
if you are.
304
00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:06,417
I am!
305
00:18:06,451 --> 00:18:07,751
Who is that?
306
00:18:07,785 --> 00:18:10,254
That is my son.
307
00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:20,258
Oh, this is the first time
we ever hugged.
308
00:18:20,309 --> 00:18:22,394
I can feel
your heart beating.
309
00:18:22,428 --> 00:18:25,394
And I can feel
your back sweating.
310
00:18:27,650 --> 00:18:29,894
And I'm okay with that.
311
00:18:30,531 --> 00:18:32,177
And now I'm not.
312
00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:37,340
And listen, you inspired me.
I quit my job.
313
00:18:37,341 --> 00:18:40,731
You're right. I was meant for
better things than the glazed hole.
314
00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:44,249
- Yes, you are.
- I have no idea what those things are.
315
00:18:44,283 --> 00:18:46,734
But that's okay.
I'm gonna help you.
316
00:18:46,735 --> 00:18:51,567
I'm gonna make you my project,
and not like that school in Africa.
317
00:18:52,842 --> 00:18:55,093
I'm gonna finish you.
318
00:18:56,429 --> 00:18:58,680
Well, we've got some
of the early reviews.
319
00:18:58,714 --> 00:19:02,934
Okay, Theater Mania called you
"Bigger and harder than ever."
320
00:19:02,969 --> 00:19:07,755
Wait a minute, sorry.
That's a pop-up Viagra ad.
321
00:19:10,864 --> 00:19:12,938
- I got The Times.
- I can't listen.
322
00:19:12,939 --> 00:19:15,820
They're gonna crucify me
for that onstage meltdown.
323
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:20,358
"Worst case scenario is
both frothy and delicious."
324
00:19:20,392 --> 00:19:24,047
Did you hear? They called me
"Frothy and delicious."
325
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,625
- Oh, my God, we got away with it!
- Yeah!
326
00:19:27,626 --> 00:19:29,319
Got away with it?
You're in a big, fat hit.
327
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,605
All right!
328
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:33,870
Come on, kid, you're coming to
your first opening night party.
329
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:37,273
- By the way, you got a suit?
- Union or Confederate?
330
00:19:38,098 --> 00:19:41,266
Oh, my God, we're a hit.
Do you know what this means?
331
00:19:41,301 --> 00:19:44,720
- I can stop putting booze in your tea?
- No, keep doing that.
332
00:19:45,138 --> 00:19:49,274
It means that I am a successful
working mother trying to have it all.
333
00:19:49,309 --> 00:19:51,990
I am so gonna score
the cover of People.
334
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,509
Suck it, Angelina Jolie.
335
00:19:55,353 --> 00:19:58,353
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