1
00:00:00,133 --> 00:00:03,882
Kirstie is recorded in front
of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,653 --> 00:00:10,656
Whoa. That was some
opening night party, huh?
3
00:00:10,707 --> 00:00:12,959
Yeah, give Angela Lansbury
a few drinks,
4
00:00:12,993 --> 00:00:16,184
and she's all over my bed knobs
and broomsticks.
5
00:00:17,414 --> 00:00:22,051
Well, Arlo had a ball.
He's never been to a party like that.
6
00:00:22,052 --> 00:00:24,774
Arlo...
I don't know about that kid.
7
00:00:25,138 --> 00:00:28,724
- Frank, he's sweet.
- Nobody is that sweet.
8
00:00:28,759 --> 00:00:31,928
I left a $20 bill on the floor
out front of his room,
9
00:00:31,962 --> 00:00:33,937
and it's still there.
10
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,894
No, it isn't.
11
00:00:39,970 --> 00:00:44,115
- Oh, hey. Good morning.
- I'll ask the questions.
12
00:00:45,692 --> 00:00:48,027
It wasn't a question.
13
00:00:51,365 --> 00:00:54,974
Hey, if you're looking for Maddie's
safe, it's not in the kitchen.
14
00:00:56,787 --> 00:00:59,255
No, I-I was just looking
for a glass.
15
00:00:59,289 --> 00:01:02,157
Oh, well,
let me give you the quick tour.
16
00:01:02,175 --> 00:01:03,426
Glasses.
17
00:01:03,460 --> 00:01:06,712
Red wine, white wine,
highball, lowball,
18
00:01:06,763 --> 00:01:10,099
champagne, margaritas,
sake, shooters,
19
00:01:10,133 --> 00:01:12,911
and molds for jell-o shots.
20
00:01:14,388 --> 00:01:15,868
Anything for juice?
21
00:01:17,774 --> 00:01:23,507
I'm sorry. I am not used to hearing
the word juice without quotes around it.
22
00:01:24,965 --> 00:01:27,100
- Good morning, everyone.
- Morning.
23
00:01:27,101 --> 00:01:29,594
Thelma, I'm ready
for my breakfast "juice."
24
00:01:32,239 --> 00:01:33,906
What are you doing
up so early?
25
00:01:33,907 --> 00:01:37,111
Well, I'm a mother now.
I want to set a good example.
26
00:01:37,288 --> 00:01:40,667
- Arlo, I'm gonna make you breakfast.
- Oh, actually, I like to cook.
27
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:43,805
Oh, thank God, 'cause
I don't know how to fry toast.
28
00:01:44,962 --> 00:01:47,387
I was actually thinking
that maybe sometime this week,
29
00:01:47,388 --> 00:01:49,682
I could make a big family dinner
for all of us.
30
00:01:50,935 --> 00:01:54,273
We don't really do dinner
with my show schedule and all.
31
00:01:54,274 --> 00:01:57,723
I just snack sensibly
round the clock.
32
00:01:58,474 --> 00:02:00,733
So what are your plans
for the day?
33
00:02:00,767 --> 00:02:03,905
Oh, I thought I'd go back out to Trenton
and get the rest of my stuff.
34
00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:05,924
Oh, Frank would be happy
to take you.
35
00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:07,990
- Right, Frank?
- Sure.
36
00:02:08,025 --> 00:02:10,993
Yeah, I wouldn't mind
a long ride with junior.
37
00:02:11,028 --> 00:02:14,850
Give us a chance
to get to know each other.
38
00:02:18,502 --> 00:02:20,286
Frank's chair.
39
00:02:20,337 --> 00:02:22,462
- That's Maddie’s chair.
- Maddie's chair.
40
00:02:22,463 --> 00:02:25,624
Um, you know what? I'm... I'm just
gonna go hang out in my room.
41
00:02:25,675 --> 00:02:29,095
- I don't want to get in anybody's way.
- No, Arlo, come here. Don't be silly.
42
00:02:29,129 --> 00:02:30,629
Come here.
43
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,750
I'm glad you're here.
Look at us.
44
00:02:33,884 --> 00:02:37,118
The kid I gave up,
the people I pay...
45
00:02:38,119 --> 00:02:40,033
We're like a real family.
46
00:02:47,448 --> 00:02:49,806
Season 1, Episode 2
"Arlo Moves In"
47
00:02:49,947 --> 00:02:52,947
Synced by Reef
www.addic7ed.com
48
00:02:53,070 --> 00:02:54,270
You!
49
00:02:55,572 --> 00:02:56,772
What the...
50
00:02:59,876 --> 00:03:03,330
Well, isn't this awkward?
51
00:03:04,614 --> 00:03:07,257
Brittany, what are you doing
in my costume?
52
00:03:07,258 --> 00:03:10,394
Short answer is "swimming."
53
00:03:11,588 --> 00:03:14,807
As your understudy, I just assumed
you wouldn't be going on tonight.
54
00:03:14,841 --> 00:03:16,892
I thought you'd be at home,
with your son,
55
00:03:16,927 --> 00:03:20,669
trying to put the shattered pieces
of your life back together.
56
00:03:21,064 --> 00:03:23,065
My life
has never been better.
57
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:25,300
I have a hit Broadway show,
my son has come home,
58
00:03:25,318 --> 00:03:26,936
and you're not
going on tonight.
59
00:03:26,937 --> 00:03:28,209
That's the spirit.
60
00:03:28,210 --> 00:03:32,038
You depression-era kids truly
are the greatest generation.
61
00:03:33,133 --> 00:03:37,119
- I can be an actress and a mother.
- But he's just come back into your life.
62
00:03:37,153 --> 00:03:39,788
Go home, Maddie.
You get to know the little guy.
63
00:03:39,789 --> 00:03:42,873
The audience gets a better show.
It's a win-win.
64
00:03:43,609 --> 00:03:47,412
- Can it, Brittany. She's fine.
- Of course she is.
65
00:03:47,446 --> 00:03:50,632
What if she's never shown a hint
of kindness or compassion?
66
00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:52,834
Who's to say
the world's biggest narcissist
67
00:03:52,885 --> 00:03:56,575
won't turn out to be
a perfectly adequate mother?
68
00:03:58,174 --> 00:04:00,662
♪ Good-bye, one and all
69
00:04:05,515 --> 00:04:08,633
Did she really think
you were gonna fall for...
70
00:04:10,770 --> 00:04:13,322
Oh, boy.
71
00:04:13,356 --> 00:04:15,274
What if she's right?
72
00:04:15,308 --> 00:04:17,309
Maybe I'm not maternal.
73
00:04:17,327 --> 00:04:19,745
Maybe this is
one role I can't play.
74
00:04:19,779 --> 00:04:21,416
Well,
you did give it your best shot.
75
00:04:21,447 --> 00:04:23,610
- I did, didn't I?
- No.
76
00:04:28,171 --> 00:04:31,784
Um, this isn't
the way to Trenton.
77
00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:34,960
How 'bout you don't tell me
how to do my job,
78
00:04:34,994 --> 00:04:37,872
and I don't tell you
how to scam Madison Banks?
79
00:04:38,631 --> 00:04:41,300
Scam? No, I'm her son.
80
00:04:41,334 --> 00:04:44,239
Well, we'll see
when the blood test comes back.
81
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,385
What blood test?
82
00:04:46,403 --> 00:04:48,955
Eh, let's just say
you sleep like a rock.
83
00:04:53,146 --> 00:04:54,780
Um, hey.
84
00:04:54,814 --> 00:04:57,616
Why are we stopping by a pier?
85
00:04:59,809 --> 00:05:01,703
I'm gonna ask you
a couple of questions.
86
00:05:01,738 --> 00:05:04,373
You answer them right, this car
goes home with two people.
87
00:05:05,086 --> 00:05:06,792
Where did you get
these pictures?
88
00:05:06,826 --> 00:05:08,960
Who's the little hottie
in the plaid skirt?
89
00:05:08,995 --> 00:05:12,581
It's Molly Gerber,
my junior high crush.
90
00:05:12,632 --> 00:05:15,717
You were supposed to take her
to the prom, but you didn't. Why?
91
00:05:15,752 --> 00:05:17,950
She said no.
92
00:05:18,683 --> 00:05:21,141
Okay, that checks out.
93
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:24,591
But I still have
my eye on you, kid.
94
00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:30,098
So you managed to raise a child.
How did you do it?
95
00:05:30,149 --> 00:05:33,185
Well, I had to accept that
once my daughter came along,
96
00:05:33,219 --> 00:05:36,645
I wasn't the center
of the universe anymore.
97
00:05:37,223 --> 00:05:39,608
Well, obviously
that isn't gonna work for me.
98
00:05:44,757 --> 00:05:46,219
He's here.
99
00:05:48,211 --> 00:05:50,744
And he isn't going away.
100
00:05:51,086 --> 00:05:53,253
He's like
these last 5 pounds.
101
00:05:53,466 --> 00:05:55,084
Shut up.
102
00:05:57,887 --> 00:06:03,676
Hey. Sorry about all the stuff.
I'm kind of a yard sale junkie.
103
00:06:03,727 --> 00:06:08,480
My friends used to always tease me about
always dragging home some piece of trash.
104
00:06:08,515 --> 00:06:10,899
Must be genetic.
105
00:06:15,522 --> 00:06:19,191
Well, you have a lot more things
here than you did yesterday.
106
00:06:19,242 --> 00:06:20,693
What's in the box?
107
00:06:20,744 --> 00:06:23,312
Uh, that's all
my old photo albums.
108
00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:27,082
My adoptive mother took,
like, zillions of pictures.
109
00:06:27,117 --> 00:06:30,536
You know, it might be a nice way for
you to catch up on what you missed.
110
00:06:30,587 --> 00:06:32,974
Oh, I get the general sense.
111
00:06:34,090 --> 00:06:37,626
Awkward at 5, awkward at 13,
awkward at 30.
112
00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:39,128
I'm not 30 yet.
113
00:06:39,162 --> 00:06:42,497
Yeah, I'm just guessing
the awkward's not gonna go away.
114
00:06:47,220 --> 00:06:49,104
Psst!
Check it out.
115
00:06:49,422 --> 00:06:52,308
He saves
all of his mother's cards.
116
00:06:52,342 --> 00:06:57,840
Oh, yeah. Kids love when you root
around in their personal stuff.
117
00:06:58,315 --> 00:07:00,875
You're a natural at this.
118
00:07:02,685 --> 00:07:06,238
Happy Birthday, Arlo,
my very special apple dumpling.
119
00:07:06,289 --> 00:07:10,209
Oh, my God. She sounds
so annoyingly sweet and nurturing.
120
00:07:10,243 --> 00:07:13,045
How the hell
do I compete with that?
121
00:07:13,079 --> 00:07:15,726
How the hell do I compete
with that?
122
00:07:16,699 --> 00:07:19,201
Oh, no.
You taped over her voice.
123
00:07:19,219 --> 00:07:21,804
Oh, no.
You taped over her voice.
124
00:07:32,541 --> 00:07:35,910
Maddie, will you stop staring
at that birthday card?
125
00:07:35,961 --> 00:07:39,185
It's not gonna bring
his mom's voice back.
126
00:07:39,915 --> 00:07:42,570
He's gonna hate me
for doing this.
127
00:07:42,968 --> 00:07:46,971
Maybe if you just
sit him down and be honest.
128
00:07:47,271 --> 00:07:48,886
Or...
129
00:07:50,643 --> 00:07:54,769
- I have a crazy idea.
- That always sounds promising.
130
00:07:55,681 --> 00:07:58,316
All we need is someone
with a high-pitched, trill voice
131
00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:01,388
that makes you want
to stab ice picks in your ears.
132
00:08:01,987 --> 00:08:04,808
♪ Greetings, one and all
133
00:08:05,941 --> 00:08:08,693
- Brittany, can you come in here a minute?
- I'm ready to go on.
134
00:08:08,727 --> 00:08:10,278
I can be out of this dress
in five seconds.
135
00:08:10,329 --> 00:08:11,823
So I've heard.
136
00:08:13,115 --> 00:08:15,378
But again,
you're not going on for me.
137
00:08:18,037 --> 00:08:20,497
Brittany, come here.
I need you to do me a favor.
138
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,147
I need you to record
an old woman's voice.
139
00:08:25,077 --> 00:08:27,909
Well, you've got one.
Why don't you do it?
140
00:08:30,599 --> 00:08:34,204
Call me when you need
a young, sexy starlet's voice.
141
00:08:34,803 --> 00:08:36,137
Not so fast.
142
00:08:38,257 --> 00:08:42,145
Okay, Brittany, do you know
Maddie’s driver, Frank?
143
00:08:42,332 --> 00:08:45,605
The shifty giant
who moves like Gumby?
144
00:08:46,949 --> 00:08:50,427
He's also
an unlicensed private detective
145
00:08:50,428 --> 00:08:53,392
with an interest
in photography.
146
00:08:55,374 --> 00:08:58,543
Isn't this a picture
of you in church?
147
00:08:58,577 --> 00:09:01,162
I am a woman of faith.
148
00:09:01,213 --> 00:09:05,466
And isn't this one
of you behind a church?
149
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:09,254
You're receiving something,
but it's not communion.
150
00:09:13,959 --> 00:09:15,918
What do you need?
Hillbilly twang?
151
00:09:15,919 --> 00:09:18,076
Connecticut lockjaw?
Autistic Vietnamese lady?
152
00:09:18,092 --> 00:09:19,790
'Cause I've done it.
153
00:09:21,650 --> 00:09:26,149
Look, Arlo's adoptive mother
gave him this audio card,
154
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:28,429
and someone accidentally
taped over it.
155
00:09:28,430 --> 00:09:32,233
For all we know, this is the last
time he ever heard her voice.
156
00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:35,143
Oh, that's so moving.
Let me give it a shot.
157
00:09:37,456 --> 00:09:41,942
Arlo, why did you bury me?
I wasn't dead. You threw dirt on me.
158
00:09:47,416 --> 00:09:48,999
Yep.
159
00:09:49,051 --> 00:09:50,334
Hey.
160
00:09:50,385 --> 00:09:52,586
How's the settling in going?
161
00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:55,371
Pretty good.
So let me get this right.
162
00:09:55,372 --> 00:09:59,611
You used this entire spare room
just to wrap gifts?
163
00:10:00,178 --> 00:10:02,577
Well, I used to have
a room just for ribbons,
164
00:10:02,578 --> 00:10:06,784
but then Thelma moved in,
and you learn to make do.
165
00:10:09,187 --> 00:10:10,688
What are you looking for?
166
00:10:10,739 --> 00:10:14,191
This card my mom gave me last year.
I've been looking for it everywhere.
167
00:10:18,029 --> 00:10:19,972
Is this it?
168
00:10:20,381 --> 00:10:22,032
Yeah,
how could I have missed that?
169
00:10:23,085 --> 00:10:24,151
You know what?
170
00:10:24,169 --> 00:10:27,705
Let's just put it
right up here,
171
00:10:27,756 --> 00:10:30,758
so she'll always be
looking over you
172
00:10:30,792 --> 00:10:35,129
Uh, actually, I thought
I would put it next to my bed.
173
00:10:35,163 --> 00:10:37,853
Her voice comforts me.
174
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:41,673
Happy Birthday, Arlo,
my very special pumpkin.
175
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:48,642
- Wait a minute.
- Oh, look here. Most improved bowler?
176
00:10:48,676 --> 00:10:52,613
Well, I bet
there's a story behind that.
177
00:10:52,647 --> 00:10:56,650
That's not my mom's voice.
That's not even the same message.
178
00:10:56,684 --> 00:11:00,022
She called me "apple dumpling,"
not "pumpkin."
179
00:11:00,405 --> 00:11:02,323
Maddie, what is going on?
180
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:06,360
Oh, all right, all right.
I accidentally recorded over it.
181
00:11:06,378 --> 00:11:09,914
And I was hoping
that I could trick you.
182
00:11:09,965 --> 00:11:13,882
Did you really think
I wouldn't know my mother's voice?
183
00:11:14,336 --> 00:11:18,172
Look, it's okay.
I'm sure it was an accident.
184
00:11:18,206 --> 00:11:20,975
Arlo, I'm really sorry.
I feel awful.
185
00:11:21,009 --> 00:11:23,010
I want to make it up to you.
186
00:11:23,044 --> 00:11:24,378
Hey, I got an idea.
187
00:11:24,396 --> 00:11:26,430
Why don't we have one
of those special family dinners
188
00:11:26,481 --> 00:11:29,106
that you've been
blathering on about?
189
00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:32,174
- Really? That'd be fun.
- Okay, great.
190
00:11:32,221 --> 00:11:34,076
How 'bout tomorrow?
191
00:11:34,439 --> 00:11:35,687
For what?
192
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,887
- The dinner.
- Oh, oh, oh. Right, right, right.
193
00:11:38,889 --> 00:11:41,057
I got so excited,
I almost forgot.
194
00:11:44,009 --> 00:11:46,698
Tony Cameron, you were
at the show tonight?
195
00:11:46,699 --> 00:11:48,567
Oh, I'm such a fan.
196
00:11:48,601 --> 00:11:51,867
- You follow football?
- I have you in my Fantasy League.
197
00:11:52,989 --> 00:11:55,629
And I'm not talking
about football.
198
00:11:56,375 --> 00:11:58,910
I was actually hoping
to meet Madison Banks.
199
00:11:58,944 --> 00:12:01,046
Ugh, what do you want
with an old skank like...
200
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,892
Madison Banks,
ladies and gentlemen.
201
00:12:04,717 --> 00:12:07,886
- Hi, I'm, uh...
- Oh, you need no introduction.
202
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,722
But just for the fun of it,
why don't you say your name?
203
00:12:10,756 --> 00:12:12,956
- Tony Cameron.
- Exactly.
204
00:12:13,277 --> 00:12:14,593
Oh, yeah.
205
00:12:14,627 --> 00:12:16,895
You were the guy that was
100 feet tall in your briefs
206
00:12:16,929 --> 00:12:18,647
on the side of that building
in Times Square.
207
00:12:18,681 --> 00:12:20,432
- You remember that, huh?
- Yeah.
208
00:12:20,466 --> 00:12:24,128
I especially liked the areas between
the seventh and ninth floors.
209
00:12:24,379 --> 00:12:26,680
- Well, you were great in the show.
- Oh, thank you.
210
00:12:26,681 --> 00:12:28,896
Listen, you want to grab a bite?
Unless you have plans.
211
00:12:28,897 --> 00:12:30,943
No, not at all.
I'm wide open.
212
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,628
You can take that
any way you want.
213
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:41,960
They should be here
any minute.
214
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:48,543
- Where's Maddie?
- Well, I went to pick her up,
215
00:12:48,544 --> 00:12:51,429
and the doorman says
he doesn't know where she was.
216
00:12:51,464 --> 00:12:55,661
So I took him up to the roof, and
I held him over the edge by his ankles.
217
00:12:56,335 --> 00:12:59,187
Turns out,
he doesn't know where Maddie is.
218
00:12:59,221 --> 00:13:01,339
But he is stealing cable.
219
00:13:02,942 --> 00:13:06,361
That's so weird.
I reminded her about this dinner.
220
00:13:06,543 --> 00:13:09,327
That's what's weird to you?
221
00:13:09,695 --> 00:13:12,117
This guy almost killed
a doorman.
222
00:13:24,225 --> 00:13:26,857
Oh, my God.
I am so sorry.
223
00:13:28,167 --> 00:13:30,972
I'm not speaking to you,
Madison Banks.
224
00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:36,224
- Frank, it's okay.
- No. It's anything but okay.
225
00:13:36,258 --> 00:13:39,728
Your son made an elaborate
dinner just for you.
226
00:13:39,762 --> 00:13:42,847
And the special ingredient
in every dish...
227
00:13:42,881 --> 00:13:44,215
Love.
228
00:13:46,602 --> 00:13:50,466
With a little basil.
But mostly love.
229
00:13:52,074 --> 00:13:53,992
Everyone, look away.
230
00:13:58,731 --> 00:14:01,232
Don't worry about it, Maddie.
It's cool.
231
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:03,368
No, it isn't cool.
232
00:14:03,402 --> 00:14:07,088
I missed out on this beautiful dinner
that you worked so hard to make me.
233
00:14:07,123 --> 00:14:09,581
And my only excuse
is that I was...
234
00:14:09,997 --> 00:14:11,782
Mugged.
235
00:14:14,513 --> 00:14:16,297
- Mugged!?
- Yes.
236
00:14:16,348 --> 00:14:19,684
I wanted to buy a beautiful
bottle of wine for this meal.
237
00:14:19,719 --> 00:14:21,919
So I was in a big hurry,
238
00:14:21,937 --> 00:14:23,605
and I cut down this alleyway,
239
00:14:23,639 --> 00:14:25,106
and all of sudden,
240
00:14:25,141 --> 00:14:28,226
this man just jumps out
from nowhere.
241
00:14:28,260 --> 00:14:32,095
- Oh, my God. Are you okay?
- Well, he pinned me against the wall.
242
00:14:33,365 --> 00:14:37,271
And then he came at me
with his drug-crazed eyes.
243
00:14:37,770 --> 00:14:42,889
And I said to him, "Take everything.
I just want to get home to my son!"
244
00:14:44,994 --> 00:14:47,629
Wow.
That is so brave.
245
00:14:47,663 --> 00:14:48,780
I know.
246
00:14:48,798 --> 00:14:50,999
When did
Tony Cameron get there?
247
00:14:53,969 --> 00:14:55,286
It's on the Internet.
248
00:14:55,304 --> 00:14:58,791
You and Tony Cameron,
canoodling in a hotel lobby.
249
00:15:01,393 --> 00:15:05,048
Arlo, I'm so sorry.
Arlo, please.
250
00:15:06,232 --> 00:15:11,402
First, it was that cockamamie story
after taping over the birthday card.
251
00:15:11,437 --> 00:15:14,239
I apologized for that.
That's why we're doing this dinner.
252
00:15:14,273 --> 00:15:17,609
- You missed the dinner!
- All right, well, let's have it now.
253
00:15:17,610 --> 00:15:19,310
Then we can get to know
each other, you know?
254
00:15:19,328 --> 00:15:23,060
Maybe you can even tell me how you
got the nickname "Dumpy Pumpkin."
255
00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:25,883
"Apple Dumpling."
256
00:15:26,233 --> 00:15:28,545
Oh, yeah.
That makes more sense.
257
00:15:30,903 --> 00:15:32,262
Arlo, please, can I...
258
00:15:32,263 --> 00:15:36,344
How can we ever have a relationship,
if you can't be honest for one second?
259
00:15:36,378 --> 00:15:38,770
I-I-I think I could be.
For...
260
00:15:43,836 --> 00:15:46,604
I would've been okay
if you just would've told me
261
00:15:46,639 --> 00:15:49,858
that you were gonna blow off dinner
because you met Tony Cameron.
262
00:15:49,892 --> 00:15:51,860
I mean, he was one
of my favorite football players.
263
00:15:51,894 --> 00:15:56,057
Stop doing that. I want to have
our meal. I'm still hungry.
264
00:15:59,401 --> 00:16:01,786
I know what you're thinking.
He's not a con man.
265
00:16:01,821 --> 00:16:03,562
I never thought
he was a con man.
266
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:05,967
Oh, well, okay.
Well, carry on.
267
00:16:07,409 --> 00:16:09,661
I'm just not used to this.
268
00:16:09,695 --> 00:16:11,296
My mother never lied to me.
269
00:16:11,330 --> 00:16:13,414
My mother actually took
an interest in me.
270
00:16:13,465 --> 00:16:16,134
- My mother thought I was...
- Will you stop calling her your mother?
271
00:16:16,168 --> 00:16:17,802
I'm your mother.
272
00:16:20,081 --> 00:16:21,472
Okay, okay.
I'm sorry.
273
00:16:21,507 --> 00:16:25,710
May... maybe I haven't earned the right
to call myself your mother yet.
274
00:16:25,728 --> 00:16:28,897
But, God, Arlo,
I don't know how to do this.
275
00:16:28,931 --> 00:16:31,482
I don't know
how to do this either.
276
00:16:31,517 --> 00:16:33,935
I'm still trying
to find my place in this house.
277
00:16:33,986 --> 00:16:36,604
I know.
And I know I screwed up.
278
00:16:36,655 --> 00:16:40,160
But I'm here now,
and I'm trying to make it right.
279
00:16:40,473 --> 00:16:44,696
And I'm going to make it right
by sitting down here
280
00:16:44,697 --> 00:16:48,838
and eating the delicious meal
that my son prepared for me.
281
00:16:48,839 --> 00:16:50,618
What are you talking about?
282
00:16:50,669 --> 00:16:53,671
It's filled with coffee grounds
and eggshells now.
283
00:16:53,706 --> 00:16:57,049
I don't care. You made it for me,
and I'm gonna eat it.
284
00:16:59,929 --> 00:17:01,429
I'm doing it.
285
00:17:01,463 --> 00:17:04,215
Okay, then. Do it.
286
00:17:05,851 --> 00:17:07,468
Putting it in my mouth.
287
00:17:07,519 --> 00:17:09,804
Bon appétit.
288
00:17:09,855 --> 00:17:12,140
Wait, wait. Oh, my God.
289
00:17:15,183 --> 00:17:17,985
You were really
gonna eat that, weren't you?
290
00:17:18,019 --> 00:17:19,720
Oh, big surprise.
291
00:17:22,837 --> 00:17:26,226
I once saw her eat a sandwich
she found on the bus.
292
00:17:28,073 --> 00:17:32,216
I would eat everything on this table
if it meant that you would forgive me.
293
00:17:33,245 --> 00:17:37,281
You know,
you're completely crazy.
294
00:17:38,201 --> 00:17:40,580
Arlo,
you want to know the truth?
295
00:17:41,887 --> 00:17:46,649
The truth is that I never had anybody
to come home to before, so I didn't.
296
00:17:47,743 --> 00:17:49,127
But now I do.
297
00:17:53,432 --> 00:17:55,683
It's like Bambi,
298
00:17:55,734 --> 00:17:57,982
but the mom comes back.
299
00:17:58,604 --> 00:18:00,488
Oh, sack up.
300
00:18:00,522 --> 00:18:03,808
It's just a mother
and son reconciling.
301
00:18:05,277 --> 00:18:06,661
Now me.
302
00:18:06,695 --> 00:18:09,447
You dummy, Frank.
303
00:18:13,695 --> 00:18:15,829
Aw, look at that.
304
00:18:15,863 --> 00:18:18,996
There's a cute,
little, naked Arlo.
305
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:22,401
And another cute,
little, naked Arlo.
306
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,782
And another.
307
00:18:25,550 --> 00:18:28,252
At what age did
these people buy you pants?
308
00:18:32,724 --> 00:18:34,107
Oh, can you take that?
309
00:18:38,397 --> 00:18:41,786
Football legend
Tony Cameron!
310
00:18:42,934 --> 00:18:46,498
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, my God. Tony Cameron!
311
00:18:46,499 --> 00:18:48,946
Hey, Maddie, I was wondering
if you had any plans tonight
312
00:18:48,947 --> 00:18:51,498
Oh, sorry, Tony.
No can do.
313
00:18:51,533 --> 00:18:54,313
- I'm spending time with my family.
- Are you sure?
314
00:18:54,314 --> 00:18:57,504
Because we're taking a helicopter
out to my mansion in the Hamptons.
315
00:18:57,539 --> 00:19:00,407
Nope. Family comes first.
That's what I always say.
316
00:19:00,425 --> 00:19:01,897
Okay.
317
00:19:01,958 --> 00:19:04,280
But can I give this autographed ball
to your kid?
318
00:19:04,281 --> 00:19:06,084
Thanks, Tony.
319
00:19:06,221 --> 00:19:08,222
Don't do drugs!
320
00:19:10,935 --> 00:19:14,254
Don't listen to him, son.
321
00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:18,108
All right.
Now more time for us.
322
00:19:18,143 --> 00:19:22,088
Okay. I know you're still lying,
but at least I get a football out of it.
323
00:19:23,865 --> 00:19:26,950
See? I screwed a guy,
and my son got a football.
324
00:19:26,985 --> 00:19:29,303
Tell me that isn't maternal.
325
00:19:32,157 --> 00:19:33,406
All right.
326
00:19:33,431 --> 00:19:36,737
Okay, who's that guy standing
next to you in the apple orchard?
327
00:19:36,762 --> 00:19:38,431
That's my mom.
328
00:19:39,357 --> 00:19:41,876
I think she means
the guy steadying the ladder.
329
00:19:41,901 --> 00:19:44,892
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's my mom.
330
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:48,044
No, she means the one
with the mustache.
331
00:19:48,069 --> 00:19:50,069
Still my mom.
332
00:19:51,101 --> 00:19:53,101
She's a pretty woman.
333
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:58,110
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