1 00:00:24,261 --> 00:00:25,595 D'oh! 2 00:00:40,401 --> 00:00:44,401 ♪ The Simpsons 25x07 ♪ Yellow Subterfuge Original Air Date on December 8, 2013 3 00:00:44,426 --> 00:00:49,426 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 4 00:00:52,756 --> 00:00:54,390 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 5 00:00:54,424 --> 00:00:55,758 ♪ Skinner 6 00:00:55,792 --> 00:01:00,263 ♪ He patrols the school halls 7 00:01:00,297 --> 00:01:02,298 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 8 00:01:02,332 --> 00:01:05,635 ♪ When you spit, he's got the balls ♪ 9 00:01:07,437 --> 00:01:10,506 ♪ As you mosey through the school ♪ 10 00:01:10,540 --> 00:01:13,476 ♪ All the kids say you're so cool ♪ 11 00:01:13,510 --> 00:01:16,545 ♪ And you even made 12 00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:19,649 ♪ Bart Simpson spill his milk 13 00:01:21,952 --> 00:01:23,819 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 14 00:01:23,854 --> 00:01:25,454 ♪ Skinner 15 00:01:25,489 --> 00:01:27,290 ♪ You're the master 16 00:01:27,324 --> 00:01:33,162 ♪ Of your fate...! 17 00:01:35,532 --> 00:01:36,766 Skinner! 18 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,135 ♪ Skinner 19 00:01:39,169 --> 00:01:41,470 ♪ You sure look good in chaps ♪ 20 00:01:41,505 --> 00:01:42,805 ♪ Skinner... 21 00:01:42,839 --> 00:01:45,374 Wake up. You're on! 22 00:01:46,811 --> 00:01:48,944 Children, I have some exciting news. 23 00:01:50,347 --> 00:01:53,215 I'm here to tell you about a field trip so amazing, 24 00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:55,484 we've put "sign here" stickers on the permission slips. 25 00:01:55,519 --> 00:01:58,954 As you recall, these stickers came from last year's field trip 26 00:01:58,989 --> 00:02:00,656 to the "sign here" sticker factory. 27 00:02:00,691 --> 00:02:02,792 But thanks to my old navy buddy-- 28 00:02:02,826 --> 00:02:06,028 we both love to shop at Old Navy-- 29 00:02:06,063 --> 00:02:09,031 the students of this school will be taking a ride 30 00:02:09,066 --> 00:02:10,700 on a nuclear-powered, attack-class submarine, 31 00:02:10,734 --> 00:02:13,903 the USS Tom Clancy! 32 00:02:24,948 --> 00:02:25,915 So you're all excited, eh? 33 00:02:25,949 --> 00:02:27,350 Yay! 34 00:02:27,384 --> 00:02:28,651 Well, that's too bad, 35 00:02:28,685 --> 00:02:30,353 because many of you will not be going. 36 00:02:30,387 --> 00:02:31,387 Huh?! 37 00:02:31,421 --> 00:02:32,822 There's limited room 38 00:02:32,856 --> 00:02:35,057 on the submarine, so only the best-behaved students-- 39 00:02:35,092 --> 00:02:37,226 as determined by me-- 40 00:02:37,260 --> 00:02:38,894 will go on the trip. 41 00:02:42,399 --> 00:02:43,766 Whoo-hoo! Well, I get to go! 42 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,234 To increase the tension, 43 00:02:45,268 --> 00:02:46,869 everyone starts with a clean slate. 44 00:02:46,903 --> 00:02:49,271 But from this moment on... 45 00:02:49,306 --> 00:02:51,273 I am the law. 46 00:02:51,308 --> 00:02:53,008 I hold the red pen. 47 00:02:53,043 --> 00:02:55,544 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 48 00:02:55,579 --> 00:02:58,948 Pranks, inside use of outside voice, off-color whistling, 49 00:02:58,982 --> 00:03:01,183 and you're stricken from the list. 50 00:03:01,218 --> 00:03:04,120 And once crossed off, you stay crossed off. 51 00:03:04,154 --> 00:03:06,455 That's what pens do. 52 00:03:15,799 --> 00:03:19,201 Help! I'm trapped in space with a man I don't like! 53 00:03:19,236 --> 00:03:20,536 Aooga! 54 00:03:20,570 --> 00:03:22,872 Submerge! Periscope! 55 00:03:22,906 --> 00:03:24,306 Aooga! Aooga! 56 00:03:24,341 --> 00:03:25,875 Die, Nazi octopus, die! 57 00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:31,881 Sweetie, about the submarine... 58 00:03:31,915 --> 00:03:34,283 what's your favorite food to eat when you're disappointed? 59 00:03:34,317 --> 00:03:35,918 I'm going shopping tomorrow. 60 00:03:35,952 --> 00:03:38,487 Ice cream sandwiches. Why? 61 00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,423 What your mother is trying to say 62 00:03:40,457 --> 00:03:42,825 is we don't think you can be good that long. 63 00:03:42,859 --> 00:03:44,960 Mom, is that true? 64 00:03:44,995 --> 00:03:48,264 Well, that's sort of what I was trying to say, but... 65 00:03:48,298 --> 00:03:50,633 What your mother is trying to say is... 66 00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:53,102 No, you're wrong! You're all wrong! 67 00:03:53,136 --> 00:03:54,470 I didn't say anything. 68 00:03:54,504 --> 00:03:56,806 Were you thinking it? Yes. 69 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,574 Get real, ding-dong! 70 00:03:58,608 --> 00:04:00,342 You've already done so much bad stuff, 71 00:04:00,377 --> 00:04:02,578 Skinner's never gonna let you on that boat. 72 00:04:02,612 --> 00:04:04,280 No, Skinner said I had a clean slate, 73 00:04:04,314 --> 00:04:06,449 so right now, I'm as good as any other kid. 74 00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:12,121 Good one, ding-dong. 75 00:04:12,155 --> 00:04:13,823 Mom! 76 00:04:13,857 --> 00:04:15,991 Don't listen to them. They're the ding-dongs. 77 00:04:16,026 --> 00:04:17,092 Wha...?! 78 00:04:17,127 --> 00:04:19,562 Bart, sweetie, this is an opportunity 79 00:04:19,596 --> 00:04:22,031 for you to turn things around yet again. 80 00:04:22,065 --> 00:04:24,133 And I believe in you. 81 00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:25,668 Yet again. 82 00:04:25,702 --> 00:04:27,369 Thanks, Mom. 83 00:04:27,404 --> 00:04:29,472 I'll start by taking my plate to the dishwasher. 84 00:04:29,506 --> 00:04:30,806 Wherever that is. 85 00:04:33,043 --> 00:04:34,276 Pfft. Marge, 86 00:04:34,311 --> 00:04:36,178 I love Bart as much as you do, 87 00:04:36,213 --> 00:04:37,546 but actually not. 88 00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:39,215 And that kid cannot go one week 89 00:04:39,249 --> 00:04:40,516 without getting in trouble. 90 00:04:40,550 --> 00:04:43,552 Now, if you'd be so kind as to start my car for me, 91 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:44,787 I'm going to Moe's. 92 00:04:48,058 --> 00:04:49,692 Ooh. 93 00:04:51,061 --> 00:04:52,628 Thank you. 94 00:04:54,030 --> 00:04:56,232 Whoo-hoo! 95 00:04:56,266 --> 00:04:58,534 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm! 96 00:04:58,568 --> 00:05:00,169 What are you doing? 97 00:05:00,203 --> 00:05:01,604 To avoid temptation, I'm getting rid 98 00:05:01,638 --> 00:05:04,106 of all the things that could get me in trouble at school. 99 00:05:04,140 --> 00:05:06,475 I buried all my whoopee cushions in the backyard. 100 00:05:09,212 --> 00:05:11,213 Hmm? 101 00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:14,950 What the...? 102 00:05:14,985 --> 00:05:16,418 That's not where I buried them. 103 00:05:16,453 --> 00:05:17,720 Come on! 104 00:05:19,089 --> 00:05:21,223 Don't take my custom limo! 105 00:05:21,258 --> 00:05:24,593 At least let me sniff my coke out of the floor mats! 106 00:05:28,298 --> 00:05:29,865 Oh, hi, little girl. 107 00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:32,735 What brings you to see Uncle Krusty? 108 00:05:32,769 --> 00:05:34,537 Krusty, are you broke? 109 00:05:34,571 --> 00:05:35,771 Yeah. All it takes 110 00:05:35,805 --> 00:05:37,606 is some bad luck at the ponies, 111 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:39,375 worse luck in the Bitcoin market, 112 00:05:39,409 --> 00:05:42,411 heavy investment in a high-end bookmark company. 113 00:05:42,445 --> 00:05:44,914 You could do what Everybody Loves Raymond did. 114 00:05:44,948 --> 00:05:46,882 Go off the air while I'm still good? 115 00:05:46,917 --> 00:05:49,718 That horse has left the stable, gone to the glue factory 116 00:05:49,753 --> 00:05:52,621 and has been used to make art projects. 117 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:55,624 I mean, you could sell foreign rights to your show. 118 00:05:55,659 --> 00:05:56,959 Even SpongeBob did it. 119 00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:01,463 Buon compleanno, Squiduardo! 120 00:06:01,498 --> 00:06:03,165 No, no, no, Roberto! 121 00:06:03,199 --> 00:06:07,102 E 'una mina della seconda guerra mondiale, 122 00:06:07,137 --> 00:06:09,538 che farà saltare in aria e... Ah! 123 00:06:10,607 --> 00:06:12,341 Calamari?! 124 00:06:12,375 --> 00:06:13,742 No...! 125 00:06:13,777 --> 00:06:15,978 No! 126 00:06:17,147 --> 00:06:18,614 Uh... it's cute stuff, 127 00:06:18,648 --> 00:06:20,416 but I'm still broke, girlie. 128 00:06:20,450 --> 00:06:21,917 Not my Monet! 129 00:06:21,952 --> 00:06:23,485 I only looked at it once! 130 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,020 What I'm saying is, 131 00:06:25,055 --> 00:06:27,990 you could produce foreign versions of your TV show 132 00:06:28,024 --> 00:06:29,625 with actors from other countries. 133 00:06:29,659 --> 00:06:31,527 Okay, I'll do it! 134 00:06:31,561 --> 00:06:34,129 Not my Shetland dolphin! 135 00:06:34,164 --> 00:06:36,298 Although I won't miss the constant yapping. 136 00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:38,033 Papa! 137 00:06:38,068 --> 00:06:40,569 Not anymore, he ain't. 138 00:06:58,388 --> 00:07:00,656 Gum on the floor. Off the list. 139 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,996 Unauthorized meat-a-pult. Off the list! 140 00:07:07,030 --> 00:07:08,797 Lips touching the fountain. 141 00:07:08,832 --> 00:07:10,699 Off the list. 142 00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:13,202 It's not my fault there's no water pressure. 143 00:07:13,236 --> 00:07:16,472 Excuses are like handkerchiefs; everybody's got one. 144 00:07:16,506 --> 00:07:18,007 I don't have a handkerchief. 145 00:07:18,041 --> 00:07:19,174 Off the list! 146 00:07:19,209 --> 00:07:20,909 Firm but fair, sir. 147 00:07:20,944 --> 00:07:23,679 Don't want any troublemakers on our submarine. 148 00:07:23,713 --> 00:07:26,015 Not bad, Simpson. Did you wash your knees? 149 00:07:26,049 --> 00:07:27,349 Front and back, sir. 150 00:07:28,918 --> 00:07:31,420 You're like egg salad at a picnic, Simpson. 151 00:07:31,454 --> 00:07:34,923 Even when you look good, we know you're going bad. 152 00:07:34,958 --> 00:07:36,191 Principal Skinner? 153 00:07:36,226 --> 00:07:38,594 I object to this arbitrary use of power 154 00:07:38,628 --> 00:07:40,696 and request I be taken off the list. 155 00:07:40,730 --> 00:07:41,897 Off the list! 156 00:07:41,931 --> 00:07:43,098 Thank you. 157 00:07:46,403 --> 00:07:49,238 Oh, man! Five days without pranking? 158 00:07:49,272 --> 00:07:51,573 I'm getting strange red marks. 159 00:07:51,608 --> 00:07:52,841 But I'm gonna make it! 160 00:07:55,111 --> 00:07:56,845 Uh-oh. 161 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,048 Something's wrong with my long yellow car. 162 00:08:00,083 --> 00:08:01,684 Any of you kids got a Triple A card? 163 00:08:02,886 --> 00:08:04,953 What? No. I'll be late. 164 00:08:04,988 --> 00:08:07,089 Skinner will cross my name off the list. 165 00:08:24,441 --> 00:08:25,708 All fixed up! 166 00:08:41,491 --> 00:08:43,492 Off the list. 167 00:08:43,526 --> 00:08:45,327 For what? 168 00:08:45,361 --> 00:08:47,796 Muddy footprints on the school floor. 169 00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:49,898 I've broken a ten-year-old's spirit. 170 00:08:49,933 --> 00:08:51,333 Time to celebrate 171 00:08:51,367 --> 00:08:53,569 with a fruit- on-the-bottom yogurt. 172 00:08:53,603 --> 00:08:56,305 Plain, plain, plain, plain... 173 00:08:56,339 --> 00:08:58,273 Mmm! Fruit! 174 00:09:06,069 --> 00:09:09,171 No, Mother, I did not use any of your talc. 175 00:09:09,205 --> 00:09:11,440 I don't know why the bottle feels lighter. 176 00:09:11,474 --> 00:09:13,475 Maybe you're just getting stronger! 177 00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:16,445 Some days I could just kill you. 178 00:09:18,214 --> 00:09:19,448 She heard me. 179 00:09:19,482 --> 00:09:20,616 Hello? 180 00:09:20,650 --> 00:09:22,410 Hold for the president. 181 00:09:22,419 --> 00:09:24,620 This is... Barack Obama! 182 00:09:24,654 --> 00:09:25,854 Is this a prank? 183 00:09:25,889 --> 00:09:27,156 No. 184 00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:29,058 That's offensive. 185 00:09:29,092 --> 00:09:30,559 I want to... talk about... submarines... 186 00:09:30,593 --> 00:09:31,527 and trips. 187 00:09:31,561 --> 00:09:32,995 Simpson... has to go. 188 00:09:33,029 --> 00:09:35,130 Simpson... has to go... 189 00:09:35,165 --> 00:09:37,333 on the... submarine. On the... submarine. 190 00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:38,334 Of course. 191 00:09:39,669 --> 00:09:41,837 This is... Barack Obama! 192 00:09:41,871 --> 00:09:44,373 ♪ So in love with you... 193 00:09:44,407 --> 00:09:45,708 I like Ohio State... 194 00:09:45,742 --> 00:09:47,343 You can put lipstick on a pig... 195 00:09:47,377 --> 00:09:49,545 ♪ So in love with you... 196 00:09:51,348 --> 00:09:52,881 Welcome. 197 00:09:52,916 --> 00:09:55,050 Welcome, foreign-market Krustys. 198 00:09:55,085 --> 00:09:57,519 If you examine your "Krusty Kit," 199 00:09:57,554 --> 00:09:59,555 you're gonna find unremovable green hair dye, 200 00:09:59,589 --> 00:10:01,323 a used red nose 201 00:10:01,358 --> 00:10:04,159 and a guidebook on how to capture a monkey. 202 00:10:04,194 --> 00:10:07,429 But now, the man they call Mr. Monday Afternoon... 203 00:10:07,464 --> 00:10:08,864 Krusty! 204 00:10:08,898 --> 00:10:10,499 Hey-hey! 205 00:10:10,533 --> 00:10:11,467 Hai-hai! Hu-hu! Heil-heil! 206 00:10:11,501 --> 00:10:12,901 Rodgrod med Flode! 207 00:10:12,936 --> 00:10:15,771 Now, there are many words for what I'm looking for-- 208 00:10:15,805 --> 00:10:20,209 rubles, renminbi, baht-- but they all mean money, 209 00:10:20,243 --> 00:10:23,278 which rhymes with funny, which you can be if you want. 210 00:10:23,313 --> 00:10:24,380 I don't care. 211 00:10:24,414 --> 00:10:26,382 Just do the Krusty show in your country 212 00:10:26,416 --> 00:10:28,183 and send me ten percent. 213 00:10:28,218 --> 00:10:30,252 Then send me another 60%. 214 00:10:30,286 --> 00:10:32,921 Then five percent more, and you're good. 215 00:10:38,395 --> 00:10:39,495 Nice job, Simpson. 216 00:10:39,529 --> 00:10:41,130 You even got my Suze Orman tape 217 00:10:41,164 --> 00:10:42,631 unstuck from the cassette player. 218 00:10:42,665 --> 00:10:45,534 She's the reason I was able to purchase a new watch band. 219 00:10:45,568 --> 00:10:48,303 Always bragging about his watch band. 220 00:10:49,372 --> 00:10:51,039 If only I could tell time. 221 00:10:51,074 --> 00:10:53,375 Okay, I washed your car like you asked, 222 00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:55,411 I did your paper rte, and I'm sorry. 223 00:10:55,445 --> 00:10:56,745 I really am. 224 00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:58,580 This could be the turning point of my life. 225 00:10:58,615 --> 00:11:00,616 Where you, as a school guy, made a difference. 226 00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:01,884 What do you think? 227 00:11:01,918 --> 00:11:03,519 Can I go on that sub? 228 00:11:05,655 --> 00:11:06,889 Sorry, Simpson. 229 00:11:06,923 --> 00:11:09,057 Take her down. 230 00:11:09,092 --> 00:11:10,759 Yay! 231 00:11:16,132 --> 00:11:17,499 Yay! 232 00:11:17,534 --> 00:11:19,001 Yippee! 233 00:11:19,035 --> 00:11:20,302 Poor Bart. 234 00:11:25,108 --> 00:11:28,477 Rasta hey-hey, on the left-hand side. 235 00:11:29,512 --> 00:11:31,146 As my mother used to say, 236 00:11:31,181 --> 00:11:32,414 "Wanti wanti can't get it, 237 00:11:32,449 --> 00:11:34,283 getti getti no want it." 238 00:11:34,317 --> 00:11:37,252 Now here's Itchem and Scratchem, mon. 239 00:11:41,191 --> 00:11:42,591 ♪ They smoke 240 00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:43,959 ♪ They toke 241 00:11:43,993 --> 00:11:46,295 ♪ They smoke and toke and smoke ♪ 242 00:11:46,329 --> 00:11:47,296 ♪ Ha! 243 00:11:47,330 --> 00:11:48,997 ♪ Smoke, smoke, smoke 244 00:11:49,032 --> 00:11:51,467 ♪ Toke, toke, toke 245 00:11:51,501 --> 00:11:57,172 ♪ The Itchem and Scratchem Blow. ♪ 246 00:12:05,849 --> 00:12:08,684 Eye and eye say good-bye. 247 00:12:08,718 --> 00:12:11,320 The blessings of Jah upon you all. 248 00:12:12,088 --> 00:12:13,355 Nice. 249 00:12:13,389 --> 00:12:15,057 You're a hit all over the world. 250 00:12:15,091 --> 00:12:18,026 There's Chinese Krusty with Sideshow Mao. 251 00:12:18,061 --> 00:12:19,895 Even Irish Krusty. 252 00:12:19,929 --> 00:12:21,630 Me ma, she had 12 children, 253 00:12:21,664 --> 00:12:23,065 but only three lived. 254 00:12:23,099 --> 00:12:24,700 Then they closed the mill. 255 00:12:26,002 --> 00:12:27,402 Hey-hey. 256 00:12:32,609 --> 00:12:34,977 And it's all thanks to you, kid. 257 00:12:35,011 --> 00:12:36,345 To show my appreciation, 258 00:12:36,379 --> 00:12:37,713 I'm gonna bring you with me 259 00:12:37,747 --> 00:12:39,515 next time I entertain the troops. 260 00:12:39,549 --> 00:12:42,217 they're not American troops. 261 00:12:50,894 --> 00:12:52,094 Hello, boy. 262 00:12:52,128 --> 00:12:53,362 At times like this, 263 00:12:53,396 --> 00:12:54,930 there's not much you can say, 264 00:12:54,964 --> 00:12:56,765 especially if you don't know what happened. 265 00:12:58,067 --> 00:13:00,102 Skinner didn't let me go. 266 00:13:00,136 --> 00:13:01,770 Really? 267 00:13:01,804 --> 00:13:04,373 Hey, I bet that submarine isn't so fun anyway. 268 00:13:05,642 --> 00:13:06,875 You think so? 269 00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:08,610 Fire that torpedo, Milhouse. 270 00:13:08,645 --> 00:13:10,345 Aye, aye. 271 00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:11,880 Where'd it go? 272 00:13:11,915 --> 00:13:13,348 It was just imaginary. 273 00:13:13,383 --> 00:13:14,583 I know a kid should never 274 00:13:14,617 --> 00:13:15,951 turn to his father for help, 275 00:13:15,985 --> 00:13:17,553 but I got screwed. 276 00:13:17,587 --> 00:13:19,221 Is there anything you can do? 277 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:23,759 As I always say, 278 00:13:23,793 --> 00:13:25,360 don't get mad; get dinner. 279 00:13:25,395 --> 00:13:27,129 Then get even. 280 00:13:27,163 --> 00:13:29,131 With Skinner. 281 00:13:29,165 --> 00:13:31,366 You'll really help me get revenge? 282 00:13:31,401 --> 00:13:32,601 Yes. 283 00:13:32,635 --> 00:13:34,369 What's Skinner's weakness? 284 00:13:34,404 --> 00:13:35,604 Everything. 285 00:13:35,638 --> 00:13:36,872 Good. 286 00:13:36,906 --> 00:13:38,640 We can use that. 287 00:13:40,410 --> 00:13:41,944 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 288 00:13:41,978 --> 00:13:43,378 ♪ Skinner ♪ 289 00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:47,883 ♪ You are feeling pretty smug ♪ 290 00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:50,886 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 291 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:54,623 ♪ Sipping cocoa from a mug ♪ 292 00:13:54,657 --> 00:13:58,627 ♪ When you've reached the mountaintop ♪ 293 00:13:58,661 --> 00:14:01,396 ♪ Your next step is a drop. ♪ 294 00:14:07,003 --> 00:14:10,439 No, no, no, no, no! 295 00:14:10,473 --> 00:14:12,507 ♪ Skinner! ♪ 296 00:14:17,619 --> 00:14:19,586 I'll be right there. 297 00:14:19,621 --> 00:14:21,622 Just saying good-bye to Mother. 298 00:14:21,656 --> 00:14:24,057 Seymour, I'm going out for a walk. 299 00:14:24,092 --> 00:14:26,526 Uh-huh, see you in several months at the soonest. 300 00:14:33,701 --> 00:14:35,469 We have a problem, Seymour. 301 00:14:35,503 --> 00:14:36,737 I did everything for you 302 00:14:36,771 --> 00:14:38,972 and you stabbed me in the back. 303 00:14:39,007 --> 00:14:42,109 Wait a minute, I knew you were a neat freak, Skinner, 304 00:14:42,143 --> 00:14:44,444 but you beat your rug till it bleeds? 305 00:14:47,882 --> 00:14:49,750 All right, I'll come clean. 306 00:14:49,784 --> 00:14:53,186 I woke up and, surprisingly, Mother wasn't there beside me. 307 00:14:53,221 --> 00:14:55,522 She was dead. 308 00:14:56,924 --> 00:14:59,359 Still, I can't be sure I killed her. 309 00:14:59,394 --> 00:15:01,862 Well, I'm sure our town's police force 310 00:15:01,896 --> 00:15:04,298 will handle this competently. 311 00:15:08,069 --> 00:15:10,037 Now, I could investigate further, 312 00:15:10,071 --> 00:15:12,839 but you don't want to sit in a jail all weekend. 313 00:15:12,874 --> 00:15:15,876 Chief, that was awfully arbitrary. 314 00:15:15,910 --> 00:15:17,511 Not compared to this. 315 00:15:21,983 --> 00:15:23,150 Let me handle this. 316 00:15:23,184 --> 00:15:24,851 Just go upstairs and shut the door. 317 00:15:24,886 --> 00:15:28,555 There are some things only a boy should see. 318 00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:42,803 Now do you want to dispose of this jelly-soaked pillow? 319 00:15:42,837 --> 00:15:45,272 Just call me The Cleaner. 320 00:15:53,448 --> 00:15:55,082 Um, where's the body? 321 00:15:55,116 --> 00:15:56,616 She's in a better place. 322 00:16:00,855 --> 00:16:02,756 The deed is done. 323 00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:04,524 Oh, I wish you'd asked me before you... 324 00:16:04,559 --> 00:16:06,493 Look, you kill them, I get rid of them. 325 00:16:06,527 --> 00:16:07,761 That's always been our deal. 326 00:16:07,795 --> 00:16:09,062 But I do have one question: 327 00:16:09,097 --> 00:16:10,364 Do you want the head? 328 00:16:10,398 --> 00:16:12,265 No, no, God, no. 329 00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:14,534 Well, if you change your mind, it'll be in my freezer. 330 00:16:14,569 --> 00:16:15,802 But only for a week. 331 00:16:15,837 --> 00:16:17,537 Got a lot of ice cream coming in. 332 00:16:17,572 --> 00:16:20,607 Ugh, if this were a movie, Mother wouldn't let me watch it. 333 00:16:20,641 --> 00:16:23,210 Now, I'm afraid it's time to start your new life. 334 00:16:23,244 --> 00:16:25,412 You'll be hunted, on the run, 335 00:16:25,446 --> 00:16:27,614 searching for the man who killed your mother, 336 00:16:27,648 --> 00:16:29,449 which is you. So avoid mirrors. 337 00:16:33,755 --> 00:16:35,956 Krusty, I have some very bad news. 338 00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:38,258 The foreign Krustys are all hotter than you. 339 00:16:38,292 --> 00:16:41,128 Irish Krusty's got a show on Broadway. 340 00:16:41,162 --> 00:16:42,896 Oi, where's your monkey? 341 00:16:42,930 --> 00:16:44,264 There never was a monkey. 342 00:16:44,298 --> 00:16:45,632 I was just tellin' stories 343 00:16:45,666 --> 00:16:47,300 to forget me consumption. 344 00:16:50,405 --> 00:16:51,438 Well, you see there, 345 00:16:51,472 --> 00:16:53,173 they need to hit the word "monkey" harder 346 00:16:53,207 --> 00:16:54,808 if they want to get a laugh. 347 00:16:54,842 --> 00:16:56,877 Don't you get what I'm trying to tell you? 348 00:16:56,911 --> 00:16:59,913 You are now the least popular Krusty in the world. 349 00:16:59,947 --> 00:17:01,915 What about Romanian Krusty? 350 00:17:01,949 --> 00:17:04,050 What, you mean President-for-Life Krusty? 351 00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:07,554 I still get a piece, right? 352 00:17:07,588 --> 00:17:09,456 Putz. You're the least successful 353 00:17:09,490 --> 00:17:11,091 version of you there is. 354 00:17:11,125 --> 00:17:12,192 A piece. 355 00:17:12,226 --> 00:17:14,895 Now, let's see where this goes. 356 00:17:14,929 --> 00:17:17,597 Irish Krusty, this is your baby. 357 00:17:17,632 --> 00:17:20,934 The only thing working round here is your libido. 358 00:17:20,968 --> 00:17:23,170 Now I know why Ma walked into the sea 359 00:17:23,204 --> 00:17:26,173 with her pockets full of rocks, on Christmas. 360 00:17:26,207 --> 00:17:29,609 Why doesn't this material work for me? 361 00:17:29,644 --> 00:17:32,846 Seymour, the cops are on their way. 362 00:17:37,151 --> 00:17:40,120 Here's a bus ticket to Juarez and your fake I.D. 363 00:17:40,154 --> 00:17:41,521 Oh, come on, 364 00:17:41,556 --> 00:17:42,923 I don't look anything like this 365 00:17:42,957 --> 00:17:43,957 "Dick Fiddler." 366 00:17:43,991 --> 00:17:45,892 No, you don't... yet. 367 00:17:47,995 --> 00:17:49,296 I don't want to sound ungrateful, 368 00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:51,097 but could I eat one of the potatoes? 369 00:17:51,132 --> 00:17:55,001 Sorry, but Dick Fiddler is allergic to potatoes. 370 00:17:55,036 --> 00:17:56,303 I understand. 371 00:18:03,678 --> 00:18:04,878 Dad? 372 00:18:04,912 --> 00:18:06,613 Thanks for sticking up for me. 373 00:18:08,316 --> 00:18:10,450 Someday I may have to fake my own death. 374 00:18:10,485 --> 00:18:12,385 And maybe you can help me with that. 375 00:18:12,420 --> 00:18:13,653 Sure, Dad. 376 00:18:13,688 --> 00:18:14,855 Someday soon. 377 00:18:14,889 --> 00:18:16,990 As in, what are you doing this Friday? 378 00:18:18,526 --> 00:18:20,393 Aah! Dick Fiddler! 379 00:18:20,428 --> 00:18:22,796 Gentlemen, I can't run away from what I've done. 380 00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:24,731 I accept that I killed my mother. 381 00:18:24,765 --> 00:18:27,167 My whole life, she's belittled me. 382 00:18:27,201 --> 00:18:29,803 Maybe deep down, I'm glad. 383 00:18:29,837 --> 00:18:31,471 This has gone far enough. 384 00:18:31,506 --> 00:18:34,040 I'm starting to think this "school project" 385 00:18:34,075 --> 00:18:35,842 is more than meets the eye. 386 00:18:35,877 --> 00:18:37,744 Mother? You're alive? 387 00:18:37,778 --> 00:18:40,480 Seymour, when this fat guy and his kid 388 00:18:40,515 --> 00:18:42,682 asked me to fake my death to punish you, 389 00:18:42,717 --> 00:18:45,685 I said, "Sure, that's something to do." 390 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,221 You know, when you glare like that, 391 00:18:48,256 --> 00:18:50,156 you look really beautiful. 392 00:18:50,191 --> 00:18:51,992 Mm-hmm. 393 00:18:52,026 --> 00:18:53,693 But when I just heard you say 394 00:18:53,728 --> 00:18:56,429 you were glad to see me dead... 395 00:18:56,464 --> 00:18:59,399 I thought, "Now I'm gonna be meaner to you than ever." 396 00:18:59,433 --> 00:19:01,001 How is that possible? 397 00:19:01,035 --> 00:19:04,004 I've stopped taking those pills that keep me nice. 398 00:19:09,443 --> 00:19:10,744 ♪ Fiddler! ♪ 399 00:19:10,778 --> 00:19:13,947 ♪ Fiddler, you look stupid ♪ 400 00:19:13,981 --> 00:19:16,683 ♪ In that beard ♪ 401 00:19:16,717 --> 00:19:20,086 ♪ Fiddler! ♪ 402 00:19:20,121 --> 00:19:23,890 ♪ This dream is getting weird. ♪ 403 00:19:36,031 --> 00:19:37,498 So I heard many of you 404 00:19:37,532 --> 00:19:41,335 are dissatisfied with my 75% cut of your take. 405 00:19:41,369 --> 00:19:44,472 Well, we did consider letting you keep more. 406 00:19:45,607 --> 00:19:47,007 But instead, 407 00:19:47,042 --> 00:19:49,343 we're giving you something even better. 408 00:19:49,377 --> 00:19:52,913 I will do a guest shot on each of your shows. 409 00:19:52,948 --> 00:19:54,815 Huh? Eh? 410 00:19:56,451 --> 00:19:58,052 Twist him like a balloon. 411 00:19:58,086 --> 00:19:59,587 Cut off his hey-heys. 412 00:19:59,621 --> 00:20:01,489 Let's slice him up and cook him 413 00:20:01,523 --> 00:20:03,390 in our traditional dishes. 414 00:20:03,425 --> 00:20:04,992 Krusty, can't you think of something? 415 00:20:05,026 --> 00:20:06,894 I'm very bad in a crisis. 416 00:20:06,928 --> 00:20:08,429 I also can't ad-lib, 417 00:20:08,463 --> 00:20:11,065 memorize anything, improv or tell a joke. 418 00:20:11,099 --> 00:20:12,900 Uh, you know, why did you even become a clown? 419 00:20:12,934 --> 00:20:14,935 Well, I was supposed to be one of the sad ones. 420 00:20:14,970 --> 00:20:19,970 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 421 00:20:22,711 --> 00:20:24,278 ♪ They smoke, they toke 422 00:20:24,312 --> 00:20:26,514 ♪ They smoke and toke and smoke ♪ 423 00:20:26,548 --> 00:20:27,648 ♪ Ha! 424 00:20:27,682 --> 00:20:29,884 ♪ Smoke, smoke, smoke 425 00:20:29,918 --> 00:20:31,886 ♪ Toke, toke, toke 426 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:37,558 ♪ The Itchem and Scratchem Blow ♪ 427 00:20:37,592 --> 00:20:38,659 ♪ Ha! 428 00:21:02,353 --> 00:21:03,670 Shh!