1
00:00:26,582 --> 00:00:28,185
(exclaiming)
2
00:00:33,121 --> 00:00:35,294
(school bell ringing)
3
00:00:37,164 --> 00:00:38,197
(Barney belches)
4
00:00:38,216 --> 00:00:39,823
(tires screeching)
5
00:00:41,321 --> 00:00:42,655
D'oh!
6
00:00:42,689 --> 00:00:44,071
(tires screeching)
7
00:00:44,102 --> 00:00:45,884
(grunts)
8
00:00:52,872 --> 00:00:54,273
(groaning)
9
00:00:54,301 --> 00:00:56,621
(laughs)
10
00:00:56,646 --> 00:01:00,646
♪ The Simpsons 25x07 ♪
Yellow Subterfuge
Original Air Date on December 8, 2013
11
00:01:00,681 --> 00:01:04,681
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
12
00:01:08,714 --> 00:01:10,566
♪ Skinner! ♪
13
00:01:10,581 --> 00:01:11,957
♪ Skinner
14
00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:16,090
♪ He patrols the school halls
15
00:01:16,114 --> 00:01:19,332
♪ Skinner! ♪
16
00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:23,047
♪ When you spit,
he's got the balls ♪
17
00:01:23,067 --> 00:01:26,782
♪ As you mosey through
the school ♪
18
00:01:26,790 --> 00:01:30,398
♪ All the kids say
you're so cool ♪
19
00:01:30,413 --> 00:01:32,515
♪ And you even made
20
00:01:32,545 --> 00:01:37,411
♪ Bart Simpson spill his milk
21
00:01:38,285 --> 00:01:40,152
♪ Skinner! ♪
22
00:01:40,179 --> 00:01:41,613
♪ Skinner
23
00:01:41,628 --> 00:01:43,918
♪ You're the master
24
00:01:43,930 --> 00:01:51,131
♪ Of your fate...!
25
00:01:51,357 --> 00:01:53,146
Skinner!
26
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,125
♪ Skinner
27
00:01:55,165 --> 00:01:58,140
♪ You sure look good in chaps ♪
28
00:01:58,259 --> 00:01:59,924
♪ Skinner...
29
00:01:59,955 --> 00:02:01,730
Wake up. You're on!
30
00:02:01,750 --> 00:02:03,424
(grunts)
31
00:02:03,549 --> 00:02:05,471
Children, I have
some exciting news.
32
00:02:05,478 --> 00:02:06,645
(kids murmuring)
33
00:02:06,672 --> 00:02:09,047
I'm here to tell you about
a field trip so amazing,
34
00:02:09,067 --> 00:02:12,149
we've put "sign here" stickers
on the permission slips.
35
00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:15,302
As you recall, these stickers came
from last year's field trip
36
00:02:15,330 --> 00:02:16,997
to the "sign here"
sticker factory.
37
00:02:17,008 --> 00:02:19,289
But thanks
to my old navy buddy--
38
00:02:19,330 --> 00:02:21,408
we both love to shop
at Old Navy--
39
00:02:21,435 --> 00:02:23,689
the students of this school
will be taking a ride
40
00:02:23,697 --> 00:02:27,322
on a nuclear-powered,
attack-class submarine,
41
00:02:27,345 --> 00:02:30,288
the USS Tom Clancy!
42
00:02:39,169 --> 00:02:40,136
(all gasp)
43
00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:42,085
(chuckles)
So you're all excited, eh?
44
00:02:42,117 --> 00:02:43,661
ALL:
Yay!
45
00:02:43,683 --> 00:02:46,622
Well, that's too bad,
because many of you will not be going.
46
00:02:46,649 --> 00:02:47,715
ALL:
Huh?!
47
00:02:47,753 --> 00:02:51,348
There's limited room on the submarine,
so only the best-behaved students--
48
00:02:51,377 --> 00:02:53,511
as determined by me--
49
00:02:53,545 --> 00:02:55,179
will go on the trip.
50
00:02:58,825 --> 00:03:00,075
- Whoo-hoo!
- Well, I get to go!
51
00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:03,350
To increase the tension, everyone
starts with a clean slate.
52
00:03:03,365 --> 00:03:05,611
But from this moment on...
53
00:03:05,638 --> 00:03:07,522
I am the law.
54
00:03:07,545 --> 00:03:08,913
I hold the red pen.
55
00:03:08,954 --> 00:03:11,874
♪ Skinner! ♪
56
00:03:11,904 --> 00:03:15,435
Pranks, inside use of outside voice,
off-color whistling,
57
00:03:15,458 --> 00:03:17,763
and you're stricken
from the list.
58
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,550
And once crossed off,
you stay crossed off.
59
00:03:20,573 --> 00:03:22,784
That's what pens do.
60
00:03:22,815 --> 00:03:24,163
(gulps)
61
00:03:24,783 --> 00:03:27,063
(bees buzzing)
62
00:03:31,998 --> 00:03:35,585
Help! I'm trapped in space
with a man I don't like!
63
00:03:35,639 --> 00:03:36,873
BART:
Aooga!
64
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,358
Submerge! Periscope!
65
00:03:38,389 --> 00:03:40,139
Aooga! Aooga!
66
00:03:40,173 --> 00:03:42,342
Die, Nazi octopus, die!
67
00:03:42,374 --> 00:03:44,022
(makes explosion sound)
68
00:03:46,289 --> 00:03:47,961
Sweetie, about the submarine...
69
00:03:47,990 --> 00:03:50,478
what's your favorite food to eat
when you're disappointed?
70
00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:52,197
I'm going shopping tomorrow.
71
00:03:52,229 --> 00:03:54,494
Ice cream sandwiches. Why?
72
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:59,455
What your mother is trying to say is
we don't think you can be good that long.
73
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,269
Mom, is that true?
74
00:04:01,296 --> 00:04:04,472
Well, that's sort of what
I was trying to say, but...
75
00:04:04,497 --> 00:04:06,747
What your mother is
trying to say is...
76
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,325
No, you're wrong!
You're all wrong!
77
00:04:09,348 --> 00:04:10,809
I didn't say anything.
78
00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:13,055
- Were you thinking it?
- Yes.
79
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,664
Get real, ding-dong!
80
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:18,867
You've already done so much bad stuff,
Skinner's never gonna let you on that boat.
81
00:04:18,889 --> 00:04:22,475
No, Skinner said I had a clean slate,
so right now, I'm as good as any other kid.
82
00:04:22,519 --> 00:04:25,777
(Homer and Lisa laughing)
83
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,449
Good one, ding-dong.
84
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,343
Mom!
85
00:04:29,366 --> 00:04:32,515
Don't listen to them.
They're the ding-dongs.
86
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:33,265
Wha...?!
87
00:04:33,287 --> 00:04:38,490
Bart, sweetie, this is an opportunity for you
to turn things around yet again.
88
00:04:38,514 --> 00:04:40,647
And I believe in you.
89
00:04:40,678 --> 00:04:41,984
Yet again.
90
00:04:42,026 --> 00:04:45,596
Thanks, Mom. I'll start by
taking my plate to the dishwasher.
91
00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:47,340
Wherever that is.
92
00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:49,254
(cupboards open, shut,
dish breaks)
93
00:04:49,287 --> 00:04:53,639
Pfft. Marge, I love Bart as much
as you do, but actually not.
94
00:04:53,671 --> 00:04:56,841
And that kid cannot go one week
without getting in trouble.
95
00:04:56,875 --> 00:05:01,047
Now, if you'd be so kind as to start
my car for me, I'm going to Moe's.
96
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,110
(blowing air)
97
00:05:04,625 --> 00:05:05,922
Ooh.
98
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:07,030
(engine starts)
99
00:05:07,065 --> 00:05:08,524
Thank you.
100
00:05:08,721 --> 00:05:10,167
(tires squeal)
101
00:05:10,261 --> 00:05:12,308
Whoo-hoo!
102
00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:15,262
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm!
103
00:05:15,298 --> 00:05:16,400
What are you doing?
104
00:05:16,426 --> 00:05:18,000
To avoid temptation,
I'm getting rid
105
00:05:18,039 --> 00:05:20,227
of all the things that could get
me in trouble at school.
106
00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:23,190
I buried all my whoopee
cushions in the backyard.
107
00:05:25,646 --> 00:05:27,771
(flatulence sounds)
Hmm?
108
00:05:29,220 --> 00:05:30,666
(groans)
109
00:05:30,691 --> 00:05:33,082
- What the...?
- That's not where I buried them.
110
00:05:33,106 --> 00:05:34,433
HOMER: Come on!
111
00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:37,438
KRUSTY:
Don't take my custom limo!
112
00:05:37,473 --> 00:05:40,867
At least let me sniff my coke
out of the floor mats!
113
00:05:40,890 --> 00:05:41,956
(grunts)
114
00:05:41,984 --> 00:05:43,140
(sniffing)
115
00:05:43,170 --> 00:05:44,304
(bicycle bell dings)
116
00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:49,007
Oh, hi, little girl. What brings you
to see Uncle Krusty? (chuckles)
117
00:05:49,054 --> 00:05:50,742
Krusty, are you broke?
118
00:05:50,764 --> 00:05:53,530
Yeah. All it takes is some
bad luck at the ponies,
119
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,694
worse luck in
the Bitcoin market,
120
00:05:55,734 --> 00:05:58,684
heavy investment in a
high-end bookmark company.
121
00:05:58,715 --> 00:06:01,145
You could do what
Everybody Loves Raymond did.
122
00:06:01,163 --> 00:06:03,097
Go off the air
while I'm still good?
123
00:06:03,124 --> 00:06:06,265
That horse has left the stable,
gone to the glue factory
124
00:06:06,288 --> 00:06:08,835
and has been used to
make art projects.
125
00:06:08,856 --> 00:06:11,351
I mean, you could sell
foreign rights to your show.
126
00:06:11,382 --> 00:06:13,072
Even SpongeBob did it.
127
00:06:15,299 --> 00:06:17,760
Buon compleanno, Squiduardo!
128
00:06:17,776 --> 00:06:19,745
No, no, no, Roberto!
129
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:23,385
E 'una mina della seconda
guerra mondiale,
130
00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:26,171
che farà saltare in aria e...
Ah!
131
00:06:27,142 --> 00:06:28,626
Calamari?!
132
00:06:28,661 --> 00:06:31,286
No...! (sobbing)
133
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:32,513
No!
134
00:06:33,612 --> 00:06:37,050
Uh... it's cute stuff, but
I'm still broke, girlie.
135
00:06:37,142 --> 00:06:40,092
Not my Monet! I only
looked at it once!
136
00:06:40,115 --> 00:06:43,786
What I'm saying is, you could produce
foreign versions of your TV show
137
00:06:43,801 --> 00:06:46,263
with actors
from other countries.
138
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,070
Okay, I'll do it!
139
00:06:48,093 --> 00:06:50,320
Not my Shetland dolphin!
140
00:06:50,340 --> 00:06:52,648
Although I won't miss
the constant yapping.
141
00:06:52,697 --> 00:06:54,470
Papa!
142
00:06:54,525 --> 00:06:56,608
Not anymore, he ain't.
143
00:07:12,935 --> 00:07:14,725
(booming thud)
144
00:07:14,815 --> 00:07:17,057
Gum on the floor.
Off the list.
145
00:07:20,201 --> 00:07:23,263
Unauthorized meat-a-pult.
Off the list!
146
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,908
Lips touching the fountain.
Off the list.
147
00:07:26,957 --> 00:07:29,480
It's not my fault there's
no water pressure.
148
00:07:29,506 --> 00:07:32,912
Excuses are like handkerchiefs;
everybody's got one.
149
00:07:32,948 --> 00:07:35,550
- I don't have a handkerchief.
- Off the list!
150
00:07:35,861 --> 00:07:40,158
Firm but fair, sir. Don't want any
troublemakers on our submarine.
151
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:42,496
Not bad, Simpson.
Did you wash your knees?
152
00:07:42,522 --> 00:07:44,134
Front and back, sir.
153
00:07:45,446 --> 00:07:48,016
You're like egg salad
at a picnic, Simpson.
154
00:07:48,036 --> 00:07:51,309
Even when you look good,
we know you're going bad.
155
00:07:51,332 --> 00:07:52,402
Principal Skinner?
156
00:07:52,432 --> 00:07:57,105
I object to this arbitrary use of power
and request I be taken off the list.
157
00:07:57,133 --> 00:07:59,170
- Off the list!
- Thank you.
158
00:08:02,759 --> 00:08:06,167
Oh, man!
Five days without pranking?
159
00:08:06,198 --> 00:08:08,964
I'm getting strange red marks.
But I'm gonna make it!
160
00:08:08,982 --> 00:08:11,330
(engine backfiring)
161
00:08:11,373 --> 00:08:13,014
Uh-oh.
(alarms buzzing)
162
00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,208
Something's wrong
with my long yellow car.
163
00:08:15,243 --> 00:08:16,126
(starter chugs)
164
00:08:16,149 --> 00:08:18,265
Any of you kids got
a Triple A card?
165
00:08:19,211 --> 00:08:21,278
What? No.
I'll be late.
166
00:08:21,313 --> 00:08:23,414
Skinner will cross my name
off the list.
167
00:08:23,448 --> 00:08:24,648
(grunts)
168
00:08:40,844 --> 00:08:42,282
All fixed up!
169
00:08:42,746 --> 00:08:44,145
(horn honks)
170
00:08:45,182 --> 00:08:47,140
(tires screech, horn drones)
171
00:08:54,777 --> 00:08:57,536
(school bell rings)
(laughs, hums triumphantly)
172
00:08:57,863 --> 00:08:59,795
Off the list.
173
00:09:00,287 --> 00:09:01,436
For what?
174
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,515
Muddy footprints
on the school floor.
175
00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:06,297
- (gasps)
- I've broken a ten-year-old's spirit.
176
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,258
Time to celebrate with
a fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt.
177
00:09:09,279 --> 00:09:12,407
Plain, plain, plain, plain...
178
00:09:12,429 --> 00:09:14,407
Mmm! Fruit!
179
00:09:22,582 --> 00:09:26,050
No, Mother, I did not
use any of your talc.
180
00:09:26,085 --> 00:09:27,937
I don't know why
the bottle feels lighter.
181
00:09:27,978 --> 00:09:30,244
Maybe you're just getting
stronger!
182
00:09:30,507 --> 00:09:33,351
Some days I could just kill you.
183
00:09:33,381 --> 00:09:34,945
(phone rings)
184
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,477
She heard me. Hello?
185
00:09:37,499 --> 00:09:39,046
BART (nasally voice):
Hold for the president.
186
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,111
OBAMA (on spliced recording):
This is... Barack Obama!
187
00:09:41,144 --> 00:09:42,152
Is this a prank?
188
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,269
- OBAMA: No.
- (gasps)
189
00:09:43,296 --> 00:09:45,062
- That's offensive.
- (gasps)
190
00:09:45,089 --> 00:09:48,245
I want to... talk about...
submarines... and trips.
191
00:09:48,269 --> 00:09:49,949
Simpson... has to go.
192
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:54,019
Simpson... has to go... on the...
submarine. On the... submarine.
193
00:09:54,042 --> 00:09:54,870
Of course.
194
00:09:54,904 --> 00:09:56,245
(tweeting)
195
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,400
This is... Barack Obama!
196
00:09:58,438 --> 00:10:01,086
♪ So in love with you...
197
00:10:01,114 --> 00:10:02,223
I like Ohio State...
198
00:10:02,255 --> 00:10:04,005
You can put lipstick on a pig...
199
00:10:04,030 --> 00:10:06,568
♪ So in love with you...
200
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:11,572
Welcome. Welcome,
foreign-market Krustys.
201
00:10:11,598 --> 00:10:13,754
If you examine your "Krusty Kit,"
202
00:10:13,777 --> 00:10:16,527
you're gonna find
unremovable green hair dye,
203
00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:20,644
a used red nose and a guidebook
on how to capture a monkey.
204
00:10:20,676 --> 00:10:24,371
But now, the man they call
Mr. Monday Afternoon...
205
00:10:24,414 --> 00:10:25,633
Krusty!
206
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:27,008
Hey-hey!
207
00:10:27,046 --> 00:10:29,414
- Hai-hai! - Hu-hu! Heil-heil!
- Rodgrod med Flode!
208
00:10:29,449 --> 00:10:32,238
Now, there are many words
for what I'm looking for--
209
00:10:32,262 --> 00:10:36,754
rubles, renminbi, baht--
but they all mean money,
210
00:10:36,771 --> 00:10:39,806
which rhymes with funny,
which you can be if you want.
211
00:10:39,841 --> 00:10:40,908
I don't care.
212
00:10:40,927 --> 00:10:44,696
Just do the Krusty show in your
country and send me ten percent.
213
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,977
Then send me another 60%.
214
00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:49,676
Then five percent more,
and you're good.
215
00:10:54,978 --> 00:10:56,353
Nice job, Simpson.
216
00:10:56,384 --> 00:10:59,282
You even got my Suze Orman tape
unstuck from the cassette player.
217
00:10:59,328 --> 00:11:02,199
She's the reason I was able
to purchase a new watch band.
218
00:11:02,354 --> 00:11:05,190
Always bragging about
his watch band.
219
00:11:05,767 --> 00:11:07,565
If only I could tell time.
220
00:11:07,602 --> 00:11:12,227
Okay, I washed your car like you asked,
I did your paper route, and I'm sorry.
221
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:13,317
I really am.
222
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,012
This could be the
turning point of my life.
223
00:11:15,058 --> 00:11:17,581
Where you, as a school guy,
made a difference.
224
00:11:17,616 --> 00:11:20,171
What do you think?
Can I go on that sub?
225
00:11:22,439 --> 00:11:25,003
Sorry, Simpson. Take her down.
226
00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:28,324
KIDS:
Yay!
227
00:11:32,644 --> 00:11:33,895
RALPH:
Yay!
228
00:11:33,945 --> 00:11:35,616
NELSON:
Yippee!
229
00:11:35,671 --> 00:11:37,039
MILHOUSE:
Poor Bart.
230
00:11:41,754 --> 00:11:44,996
Rasta hey-hey,
on the left-hand side.
231
00:11:45,024 --> 00:11:47,133
(laughs)
As my mother used to say,
232
00:11:47,154 --> 00:11:50,756
"Wanti wanti can't get it,
getti getti no want it."
233
00:11:50,806 --> 00:11:53,741
Now here's Itchem
and Scratchem, mon.
234
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,634
(laughs)
235
00:11:55,668 --> 00:11:57,754
(cheering)
236
00:11:57,797 --> 00:11:59,197
♪ They smoke
237
00:11:59,247 --> 00:12:00,708
♪ They toke
238
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:03,209
♪ They smoke and
toke and smoke ♪
239
00:12:03,262 --> 00:12:03,996
♪ Ha!
240
00:12:04,019 --> 00:12:05,533
♪ Smoke, smoke, smoke
241
00:12:05,576 --> 00:12:08,011
♪ Toke, toke, toke
242
00:12:08,209 --> 00:12:13,555
♪ The Itchem and Scratchem Blow. ♪
243
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:19,224
♪
244
00:12:22,581 --> 00:12:25,385
Eye and eye say good-bye.
245
00:12:25,418 --> 00:12:28,526
The blessings of
Jah upon you all.
246
00:12:28,710 --> 00:12:29,977
Nice.
247
00:12:30,019 --> 00:12:31,741
You're a hit all
over the world.
248
00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:34,534
There's Chinese Krusty
with Sideshow Mao.
249
00:12:34,557 --> 00:12:36,175
Even Irish Krusty.
250
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,578
Me ma, she had 12 children,
but only three lived.
251
00:12:39,612 --> 00:12:41,440
Then they closed the mill.
252
00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:42,487
(chuckles sadly)
253
00:12:42,515 --> 00:12:43,915
Hey-hey.
254
00:12:43,950 --> 00:12:47,238
(Irish flute plays
melancholy tune)
255
00:12:49,216 --> 00:12:51,583
And it's all thanks
to you, kid.
256
00:12:51,606 --> 00:12:53,020
To show my appreciation,
257
00:12:53,043 --> 00:12:56,239
I'm gonna bring you with me next
time I entertain the troops.
258
00:12:56,281 --> 00:12:59,090
Warning: they're not
American troops.
259
00:13:04,141 --> 00:13:05,944
(slurps)
260
00:13:07,562 --> 00:13:11,278
Hello, boy. At times like this,
there's not much you can say,
261
00:13:11,328 --> 00:13:13,422
especially if you don't
know what happened.
262
00:13:13,468 --> 00:13:14,516
(sobs)
263
00:13:14,539 --> 00:13:16,993
Skinner didn't let me go.
264
00:13:17,039 --> 00:13:21,461
Really? Hey, I bet that
submarine isn't so fun anyway.
265
00:13:21,492 --> 00:13:22,307
(sniffs)
266
00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:23,567
You think so?
267
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,836
- Fire that torpedo, Milhouse.
- Aye, aye.
268
00:13:27,268 --> 00:13:29,932
- Where'd it go?
- It was just imaginary.
269
00:13:29,958 --> 00:13:33,989
I know a kid should never turn to his
father for help, but I got screwed.
270
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:35,794
Is there anything you can do?
271
00:13:39,126 --> 00:13:42,220
As I always say,
don't get mad; get dinner.
272
00:13:42,251 --> 00:13:43,884
Then get even.
273
00:13:43,917 --> 00:13:45,717
With Skinner.
274
00:13:45,747 --> 00:13:48,065
You'll really
help me get revenge?
275
00:13:48,093 --> 00:13:51,147
Yes.
What's Skinner's weakness?
276
00:13:51,175 --> 00:13:53,167
- Everything.
- Good.
277
00:13:53,184 --> 00:13:55,129
We can use that.
278
00:13:56,751 --> 00:13:58,743
♪ Skinner! ♪
279
00:13:58,773 --> 00:14:00,077
♪ Skinner ♪
280
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:04,016
♪ You are feeling pretty smug ♪
281
00:14:04,038 --> 00:14:07,259
♪ Skinner! ♪
282
00:14:07,282 --> 00:14:11,079
♪ Sipping cocoa from a mug ♪
283
00:14:11,107 --> 00:14:15,077
♪ When you've reached
the mountaintop ♪
284
00:14:15,103 --> 00:14:18,311
♪ Your next step is a drop. ♪
285
00:14:23,913 --> 00:14:27,078
No, no, no, no, no!
286
00:14:27,110 --> 00:14:29,423
♪ Skinner! ♪
287
00:14:34,108 --> 00:14:35,132
(knocking)
288
00:14:35,157 --> 00:14:38,118
I'll be right there.
Just saying good-bye to Mother.
289
00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:40,574
(imitates Mother):
Seymour, I'm going out for a walk.
290
00:14:40,604 --> 00:14:43,038
Uh-huh, see you in several
months at the soonest.
291
00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:46,472
(knocking continues)
292
00:14:50,385 --> 00:14:52,003
We have a problem, Seymour.
293
00:14:52,015 --> 00:14:55,589
I did everything for you
and you stabbed me in the back.
294
00:14:55,613 --> 00:14:58,676
Wait a minute, I knew you
were a neat freak, Skinner,
295
00:14:58,703 --> 00:15:01,176
but you beat your rug
till it bleeds?
296
00:15:03,145 --> 00:15:04,489
(gasps)
297
00:15:04,589 --> 00:15:06,394
All right, I'll come clean.
298
00:15:06,413 --> 00:15:09,815
I woke up and, surprisingly,
Mother wasn't there beside me.
299
00:15:09,866 --> 00:15:12,507
She was dead.
300
00:15:13,460 --> 00:15:16,046
Still, I can't be sure I killed her.
301
00:15:16,086 --> 00:15:20,765
Well, I'm sure our town's police force
will handle this competently.
302
00:15:24,777 --> 00:15:28,629
Now, I could investigate further,
but you don't want to sit in a jail all weekend.
303
00:15:29,543 --> 00:15:32,527
Chief, that was
awfully arbitrary.
304
00:15:32,539 --> 00:15:34,207
Not compared to this.
305
00:15:34,284 --> 00:15:36,952
(groans)
306
00:15:38,472 --> 00:15:41,230
Let me handle this.
Just go upstairs and shut the door.
307
00:15:41,258 --> 00:15:44,941
There are some things
only a boy should see.
308
00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:47,180
(door closes)
309
00:15:47,233 --> 00:15:50,402
(both laugh)
310
00:15:50,436 --> 00:15:51,904
(cackles)
311
00:15:55,933 --> 00:15:59,402
Now do you want to dispose
of this jelly-soaked pillow?
312
00:15:59,428 --> 00:16:02,052
Just call me The Cleaner.
313
00:16:03,532 --> 00:16:04,732
(slurps)
314
00:16:10,077 --> 00:16:13,535
- Um, where's the body?
- She's in a better place.
315
00:16:13,892 --> 00:16:16,140
(chain saw rumbling)
316
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,462
The deed is done.
317
00:16:19,513 --> 00:16:21,411
Oh, I wish you'd asked me
before you...
318
00:16:21,442 --> 00:16:24,356
Look, you kill them, I get rid of them.
That's always been our deal.
319
00:16:24,393 --> 00:16:26,963
But I do have one question:
Do you want the head?
320
00:16:26,981 --> 00:16:29,276
No, no, God, no.
321
00:16:29,299 --> 00:16:32,557
Well, if you change your mind,
it'll be in my freezer. But only for a week.
322
00:16:32,591 --> 00:16:34,193
Got a lot of
ice cream coming in.
323
00:16:34,225 --> 00:16:37,193
Ugh, if this were a movie,
Mother wouldn't let me watch it.
324
00:16:37,208 --> 00:16:39,841
Now, I'm afraid it's time
to start your new life.
325
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:44,208
You'll be hunted, on the run,
searching for the man who killed your mother,
326
00:16:44,239 --> 00:16:46,327
which is you.
So avoid mirrors.
327
00:16:47,521 --> 00:16:48,821
(Krusty humming)
328
00:16:50,392 --> 00:16:52,593
Krusty, I have some very bad news.
329
00:16:52,643 --> 00:16:54,955
The foreign Krustys are
all hotter than you.
330
00:16:54,984 --> 00:16:57,672
Irish Krusty's got a
show on Broadway.
331
00:16:57,713 --> 00:16:59,484
Oi, where's your monkey?
332
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:00,854
There never was a monkey.
333
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,802
I was just tellin' stories
to forget me consumption.
334
00:17:03,832 --> 00:17:05,021
(coughs)
335
00:17:05,083 --> 00:17:06,864
(applause)
336
00:17:07,050 --> 00:17:10,066
Well, you see there, they need
to hit the word "monkey" harder
337
00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:11,464
if they want to get a laugh.
338
00:17:11,503 --> 00:17:13,199
Don't you get what I'm
trying to tell you?
339
00:17:13,214 --> 00:17:16,699
You are now the least popular
Krusty in the world.
340
00:17:16,723 --> 00:17:18,489
What about Romanian Krusty?
341
00:17:18,532 --> 00:17:20,688
What, you mean
President-for-Life Krusty?
342
00:17:20,722 --> 00:17:22,222
(low groan)
343
00:17:22,632 --> 00:17:24,179
I still get a piece, right?
344
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:27,686
Putz. You're the least successful
version of you there is.
345
00:17:27,731 --> 00:17:28,798
A piece.
346
00:17:28,824 --> 00:17:31,335
Now, let's see where this goes.
347
00:17:31,621 --> 00:17:34,191
Irish Krusty, this is your baby.
348
00:17:34,222 --> 00:17:36,941
The only thing working
round here is your libido.
349
00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:42,612
Now I know why Ma walked into the sea with
her pockets full of rocks, on Christmas.
350
00:17:42,837 --> 00:17:46,090
Why doesn't this
material work for me?
351
00:17:47,344 --> 00:17:50,047
Seymour, the cops
are on their way.
352
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,914
(siren wails)
353
00:17:53,718 --> 00:17:56,752
Here's a bus ticket to Juarez
and your fake I.D.
354
00:17:57,423 --> 00:18:00,400
SKINNER: Oh, come on, I don't look
anything like this "Dick Fiddler."
355
00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:02,445
No, you don't... yet.
356
00:18:04,577 --> 00:18:07,719
I don't want to sound ungrateful,
but could I eat one of the potatoes?
357
00:18:07,746 --> 00:18:11,484
Sorry, but Dick Fiddler
is allergic to potatoes.
358
00:18:11,533 --> 00:18:12,689
I understand.
359
00:18:12,732 --> 00:18:15,267
(both giggling)
360
00:18:20,815 --> 00:18:23,410
Dad?
Thanks for sticking up for me.
361
00:18:23,416 --> 00:18:24,918
(laughs)
362
00:18:24,930 --> 00:18:27,199
Someday I may have
to fake my own death.
363
00:18:27,216 --> 00:18:29,474
And maybe you can
help me with that.
364
00:18:29,505 --> 00:18:31,489
- Sure, Dad.
- Someday soon.
365
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,611
As in, what are you
doing this Friday?
366
00:18:35,804 --> 00:18:37,156
Aah! Dick Fiddler!
367
00:18:37,187 --> 00:18:39,496
Gentlemen, I can't run away
from what I've done.
368
00:18:39,515 --> 00:18:41,570
I accept that
I killed my mother.
369
00:18:41,585 --> 00:18:43,927
My whole life,
she's belittled me.
370
00:18:43,963 --> 00:18:46,408
Maybe deep down, I'm glad.
371
00:18:46,427 --> 00:18:48,134
This has gone far enough.
372
00:18:48,175 --> 00:18:52,511
I'm starting to think this "school project"
is more than meets the eye.
373
00:18:52,546 --> 00:18:54,413
Mother?
You're alive?
374
00:18:54,454 --> 00:18:57,110
Seymour, when this fat guy
and his kid
375
00:18:57,145 --> 00:18:59,352
asked me to fake my death
to punish you,
376
00:18:59,386 --> 00:19:02,539
I said,
"Sure, that's something to do."
377
00:19:02,816 --> 00:19:07,255
You know, when you glare like that,
you look really beautiful.
378
00:19:07,305 --> 00:19:08,594
(grumbles):
Mm-hmm.
379
00:19:08,624 --> 00:19:12,891
But when I just heard you say
you were glad to see me dead...
380
00:19:12,922 --> 00:19:16,195
I thought, "Now I'm gonna
be meaner to you than ever."
381
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:17,492
How is that possible?
382
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:20,617
I've stopped taking those pills
that keep me nice.
383
00:19:20,667 --> 00:19:22,089
(gasps)
384
00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:27,413
♪ Fiddler! ♪
385
00:19:27,463 --> 00:19:30,410
♪ Fiddler, you look stupid ♪
386
00:19:30,438 --> 00:19:33,027
♪ In that beard ♪
387
00:19:33,058 --> 00:19:36,386
♪ Fiddler! ♪
388
00:19:36,454 --> 00:19:40,423
♪ This dream is getting weird. ♪
389
00:19:52,801 --> 00:19:57,864
KRUSTY: So I heard many of you are dissatisfied
with my 75% cut of your take.
390
00:19:57,889 --> 00:20:01,114
Well, we did consider
letting you keep more.
391
00:20:01,175 --> 00:20:02,544
(cheering)
392
00:20:02,567 --> 00:20:05,872
But instead, we're giving
you something even better.
393
00:20:05,898 --> 00:20:09,560
I will do a guest shot
on each of your shows.
394
00:20:09,617 --> 00:20:11,187
Huh? Eh?
395
00:20:11,238 --> 00:20:13,023
(jeering, shouting)
396
00:20:13,038 --> 00:20:16,436
- Twist him like a balloon.
- Cut off his hey-heys.
397
00:20:16,467 --> 00:20:19,842
Let's slice him up and cook him
in our traditional dishes.
398
00:20:19,882 --> 00:20:21,499
Krusty, can't you
think of something?
399
00:20:21,523 --> 00:20:23,391
I'm very bad in a crisis.
400
00:20:23,417 --> 00:20:27,534
I also can't ad-lib, memorize
anything, improv or tell a joke.
401
00:20:27,556 --> 00:20:29,573
Uh, you know, why did you
even become a clown?
402
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,704
Well, I was supposed to
be one of the sad ones.
403
00:20:32,739 --> 00:20:37,739
Captioning sponsored by 20TH CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
404
00:20:38,161 --> 00:20:40,849
♪ They smoke, they toke
405
00:20:41,113 --> 00:20:43,529
♪ They smoke and
toke and smoke ♪
406
00:20:43,544 --> 00:20:44,349
♪ Ha!
407
00:20:44,389 --> 00:20:45,904
♪ Smoke, smoke, smoke
408
00:20:45,943 --> 00:20:48,099
♪ Toke, toke, toke
409
00:20:48,596 --> 00:20:53,924
♪ The Itchem and
Scratchem Blow ♪
410
00:20:53,947 --> 00:20:55,220
♪ Ha!
411
00:21:19,091 --> 00:21:20,408
Shh!