﻿1
00:00:03,140 --> 00:00:05,808
♪ Good morning, USA!

2
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♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪

3
00:00:09,780 --> 00:00:12,715
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪

4
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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪

5
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say

6
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♪ Good...
♪ Good morning, USA

7
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Aah!

8
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<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

9
00:00:33,170 --> 00:00:34,437
I can't believe
we're eating here.

10
00:00:34,471 --> 00:00:36,072
This place is so demeaning.

11
00:00:36,106 --> 00:00:37,473
Well, when you
can afford to pay,

12
00:00:37,508 --> 00:00:38,708
you can pick the restaurant.

13
00:00:38,742 --> 00:00:41,177
But should that day ever
come-- and it won't--

14
00:00:41,212 --> 00:00:43,146
we'll still be coming here
for the same reason.

15
00:00:43,180 --> 00:00:45,148
Great pastrami!

16
00:00:45,182 --> 00:00:46,516
You're a pig.

17
00:00:46,550 --> 00:00:47,784
At least I'm not broke.

18
00:00:47,818 --> 00:00:49,152
At least I'm not a loser.

19
00:00:49,186 --> 00:00:50,253
I'm not a loser!

20
00:00:50,287 --> 00:00:53,022
Knock it off, you two!

21
00:00:53,057 --> 00:00:55,592
Hi, welcome to Boobers
where we got a Double D

22
00:00:55,626 --> 00:00:56,993
from the health department.

23
00:00:57,027 --> 00:00:58,094
Zoe?

24
00:00:58,128 --> 00:00:59,996
I-I haven't seen you
since high school.

25
00:01:00,030 --> 00:01:01,331
Oh, my God!

26
00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:02,565
Hayley!

27
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,801
Sorry, I try not
to make eye contact

28
00:01:04,835 --> 00:01:06,269
with my customers.

29
00:01:06,303 --> 00:01:08,371
They never make
eye contact with me.

30
00:01:08,405 --> 00:01:10,340
They should be ashamed
of themselves!

31
00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:12,809
You are not just some objects.

32
00:01:12,843 --> 00:01:15,345
Wow, it's been forever.

33
00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:16,779
So, where you living now?

34
00:01:16,814 --> 00:01:17,780
At home.

35
00:01:17,815 --> 00:01:19,515
Actually, I did move out
for a bit.

36
00:01:19,550 --> 00:01:21,017
To your boyfriend's van.

37
00:01:21,051 --> 00:01:24,354
You know, me and Kristen
and Danuta still hang out.

38
00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:26,689
We're all going
to the Skylark tonight.

39
00:01:26,724 --> 00:01:27,757
You should come.

40
00:01:27,791 --> 00:01:28,791
Yeah, that sounds fun.

41
00:01:28,826 --> 00:01:29,993
Great.

42
00:01:30,027 --> 00:01:31,594
I'll be back in a minute
to take your order.

43
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Hold on, lady.

44
00:01:32,696 --> 00:01:34,530
I'm actually here
on official business.

45
00:01:34,565 --> 00:01:36,499
F.B.I.

46
00:01:38,035 --> 00:01:40,837
I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to verify those alleged breasts.

47
00:01:40,871 --> 00:01:43,806
I'm not falling for this again.

48
00:01:44,975 --> 00:01:47,443
Well, machine says
your I.D. checks out.

49
00:01:47,478 --> 00:01:50,246
Why do you guys
keep hassling me?

50
00:01:50,281 --> 00:01:52,148
Zoe, don't!
This is fake.

51
00:01:52,182 --> 00:01:53,149
My brother made it.

52
00:01:53,183 --> 00:01:54,717
Boo!
Boo!

53
00:01:54,752 --> 00:01:56,119
Let me ask you.

54
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How do your parents feel
about you working here?

55
00:01:59,056 --> 00:02:00,256
Hey, how's everyone doing?

56
00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:02,892
You enjoying my
little girl's boobs?

57
00:02:05,229 --> 00:02:06,596
Thanks for inviting
me out, guys.

58
00:02:06,630 --> 00:02:08,364
It's so fun hanging out again.

59
00:02:08,399 --> 00:02:10,166
Well, it's a little
early to say that,

60
00:02:12,169 --> 00:02:13,369
I.D.'s.

61
00:02:13,404 --> 00:02:14,537
They're carding?

62
00:02:14,571 --> 00:02:16,706
You don't have
a fake I.D.?

63
00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:18,708
You got to go to Kevin Ramage.

64
00:02:18,742 --> 00:02:20,510
He'll make you one
for 200 bucks.

65
00:02:20,544 --> 00:02:22,345
Plus you got to
make out with him.

66
00:02:22,379 --> 00:02:23,613
What?

67
00:02:23,647 --> 00:02:25,715
I-I can't afford $200.

68
00:02:25,749 --> 00:02:27,884
Oh, bummer.

69
00:02:27,918 --> 00:02:30,453
I guess we'll
catch you later then.

70
00:02:30,487 --> 00:02:33,389
You were right, she
was too optimistic.

71
00:02:33,424 --> 00:02:35,024
I know a club
that doesn't card.

72
00:02:35,059 --> 00:02:38,961
The club of Jesus Christ
of Latter-Day Saints.

73
00:02:38,996 --> 00:02:40,897
Hey, how's the tail
in there tonight?

74
00:02:40,931 --> 00:02:42,932
Fine as hell, dawg.

75
00:02:53,410 --> 00:02:54,777
Hey, buddy.

76
00:02:54,812 --> 00:02:57,113
It's called Fortress
of Solitude,

77
00:02:57,147 --> 00:02:58,748
not Fortress of Come On In.

78
00:02:58,782 --> 00:03:00,049
Oh, right.

79
00:03:00,084 --> 00:03:01,684
Star Trek Wars.

80
00:03:02,853 --> 00:03:03,820
I can't even...

81
00:03:03,854 --> 00:03:04,821
First of all...

82
00:03:04,855 --> 00:03:06,122
You're-you're not...

83
00:03:06,156 --> 00:03:08,091
What do you want?

84
00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:09,959
I just wanted to say
how impressed I was

85
00:03:09,993 --> 00:03:11,861
with your Federal Boobie
Inspector card.

86
00:03:11,895 --> 00:03:14,230
And I was wondering
if you could maybe do

87
00:03:14,264 --> 00:03:16,099
a fake driver's license for me?

88
00:03:16,133 --> 00:03:17,100
Yeah?

89
00:03:17,134 --> 00:03:18,801
Oh, I-I thought
I was a loser.

90
00:03:18,836 --> 00:03:20,737
You know who
the real losers are, Steve?

91
00:03:20,771 --> 00:03:24,240
The ones who stay angry
after being called losers.

92
00:03:24,274 --> 00:03:26,275
Okay, I'll do it.

93
00:03:27,277 --> 00:03:29,078
What a loser.

94
00:03:31,115 --> 00:03:33,349
Oh, you got a fake I.D.?

95
00:03:33,384 --> 00:03:35,318
I didn't think
you could afford one.

96
00:03:35,352 --> 00:03:36,719
That's funny.

97
00:03:36,754 --> 00:03:38,488
And, you know who would
love that joke?

98
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,256
My butler,
but he wouldn't laugh,

99
00:03:40,290 --> 00:03:42,291
because he's a great butler.

100
00:03:46,397 --> 00:03:48,731
Wait, you're scanning
I.D.'s now?

101
00:03:48,766 --> 00:03:50,099
We're cracking down ever since

102
00:03:50,134 --> 00:03:52,635
that toddler died
of alcohol poisoning.

103
00:03:52,669 --> 00:03:55,204
They teach you a lot of
things in bouncer school,

104
00:03:55,239 --> 00:03:58,608
but they don't teach you
how to live with a mistake.

105
00:03:58,642 --> 00:04:00,343
Nope.

106
00:04:00,377 --> 00:04:02,378
Nope.

107
00:04:02,413 --> 00:04:05,014
Nope.

108
00:04:05,048 --> 00:04:06,783
Yep.

109
00:04:06,817 --> 00:04:08,484
Go on in.

110
00:04:08,519 --> 00:04:10,853
Hayley, wow.

111
00:04:10,888 --> 00:04:12,455
Did Ramage make you that?

112
00:04:12,489 --> 00:04:13,856
No, I got my own guy.

113
00:04:13,891 --> 00:04:16,125
Yo, can your guy make
me a certification

114
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:17,560
to be a heart surgeon?

115
00:04:17,594 --> 00:04:19,395
'Cause my mama's
got a bad heart,

116
00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:21,931
and I just know I could
do something about it

117
00:04:21,965 --> 00:04:24,767
if I could just get in there.

118
00:04:27,304 --> 00:04:28,671
Hey, buddy.

119
00:04:28,705 --> 00:04:29,906
Not now.

120
00:04:31,542 --> 00:04:34,610
You-you'll have
to excuse me.

121
00:04:34,645 --> 00:04:35,945
We've had a lot of trouble

122
00:04:35,979 --> 00:04:38,281
with kids breaking in
and building blanket forts.

123
00:04:38,315 --> 00:04:40,450
Steve, my friends here
would like

124
00:04:40,484 --> 00:04:42,185
to buy some
fake I.D.'s from you.

125
00:04:42,219 --> 00:04:43,686
Buy fake I.D.'s?

126
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,689
Hayley, can I talk to you
in private for a minute?

127
00:04:50,427 --> 00:04:52,829
Hayley, what you're suggesting
could get us in deep trouble.

128
00:04:52,863 --> 00:04:55,097
You're selling fake I.D.'s
to teenagers.

129
00:04:55,132 --> 00:04:57,200
At most, you'd get
a slap on the wrist.

130
00:04:57,234 --> 00:04:58,267
Aah!

131
00:04:58,302 --> 00:04:59,802
But I use my wrists
all the time.

132
00:04:59,837 --> 00:05:01,737
Steve, you won't get
in trouble.

133
00:05:01,772 --> 00:05:04,073
I mean, with your talent
and my distribution network,

134
00:05:04,107 --> 00:05:06,175
do you know how much money
we could make?

135
00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:07,743
I don't know.

136
00:05:07,778 --> 00:05:09,812
Maybe this'll convince you.

137
00:05:09,847 --> 00:05:11,747
All right, he'll
do your I.D.'s.

138
00:05:11,782 --> 00:05:13,683
But first he's got
to do his day job.

139
00:05:13,717 --> 00:05:16,252
He's a licensed
Federal Boobie Inspector.

140
00:05:16,286 --> 00:05:18,287
Ladies.

141
00:05:21,925 --> 00:05:23,659
I'm taking on a lot
of risk here.

142
00:05:23,694 --> 00:05:26,262
You mind asking them
to jump up and down?

143
00:05:35,305 --> 00:05:37,373
♪ We're in the basement

144
00:05:37,407 --> 00:05:39,308
♪ Learning to print

145
00:05:39,343 --> 00:05:41,010
♪ All of it's hot

146
00:05:42,145 --> 00:05:45,114
♪ 10, 20, 30 million
ready to be spent ♪

147
00:05:45,148 --> 00:05:46,883
♪ We're stackin'
'em against the wall ♪

148
00:05:46,917 --> 00:05:48,284
♪ Those gangster presidents

149
00:05:55,058 --> 00:05:58,461
♪ Livin' simple
and trying to get by ♪

150
00:05:58,495 --> 00:06:01,964
♪ But, honey, prices have shot
through the sky ♪

151
00:06:01,999 --> 00:06:05,034
♪ So I fixed up the basement

152
00:06:05,068 --> 00:06:07,837
♪ With what
I was a-workin' with ♪

153
00:06:07,871 --> 00:06:11,140
♪ Stocked it full
of jelly jars ♪

154
00:06:11,174 --> 00:06:14,544
♪ And heavy equipment

155
00:06:14,578 --> 00:06:17,280
♪ We're in the basement...

156
00:06:17,314 --> 00:06:18,714
Thank you.

157
00:06:18,749 --> 00:06:20,783
We'll call your fake name
when it's ready.

158
00:06:24,187 --> 00:06:25,488
Next!

159
00:06:25,522 --> 00:06:26,522
Roger?

160
00:06:26,557 --> 00:06:28,491
The name is Kevin Ramage.

161
00:06:28,525 --> 00:06:29,892
Roger?

162
00:06:29,927 --> 00:06:31,761
I'm only doing this
one more time.

163
00:06:31,795 --> 00:06:34,430
The name is Kevin Ramage.

164
00:06:34,464 --> 00:06:37,099
Word on the street is you're
horning in on my business.

165
00:06:37,134 --> 00:06:39,802
Yeah, well, word on the street
is your product sucks.

166
00:06:39,836 --> 00:06:41,804
Yeah, well, word on the street
is I don't have a comeback

167
00:06:41,838 --> 00:06:44,340
for that, but what I do have
are these brawny sidemen.

168
00:06:44,374 --> 00:06:46,042
Show them the rough stuff, boys!

169
00:06:48,345 --> 00:06:49,912
If you don't get out
of my territory,

170
00:06:49,947 --> 00:06:51,314
this is gonna be you.

171
00:06:51,348 --> 00:06:52,648
Get lost, Ramage.

172
00:06:52,683 --> 00:06:55,184
Yeah, there's
a new counterfeiter in town.

173
00:06:55,218 --> 00:06:56,786
And his name is Steve.

174
00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:59,088
No, Hayley, I've given
a lot of thought to this.

175
00:06:59,122 --> 00:07:00,623
From now on,

176
00:07:00,657 --> 00:07:03,392
my name is Guttenberg.

177
00:07:03,427 --> 00:07:05,962
Oh, like the inventor
of the printing press?

178
00:07:05,996 --> 00:07:08,397
Steve Guttenberg invented
the printing press?

179
00:07:08,432 --> 00:07:10,666
Okay, guys, I believe
we've made our point.

180
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:13,202
And if you two don't
back off my territory,

181
00:07:13,236 --> 00:07:16,973
then this is what's
waiting for you.

182
00:07:17,007 --> 00:07:19,642
That's right, so you better
think long and har...

183
00:07:25,048 --> 00:07:26,082
Whatever.

184
00:07:26,116 --> 00:07:27,683
Okay, next I.D. is ready.

185
00:07:27,718 --> 00:07:29,051
Mike Rotch?

186
00:07:29,086 --> 00:07:30,920
I'm looking for Mike Rotch.

187
00:07:35,325 --> 00:07:38,394
Smith, I was tearing it up at
the Rope and Pony last night,

188
00:07:38,428 --> 00:07:41,030
and I accidentally picked
up a 17-year-old girl

189
00:07:41,064 --> 00:07:43,332
all because of this!

190
00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:45,501
Were it not for the girl's
father bursting in

191
00:07:45,535 --> 00:07:48,437
at the last moment, I'd be
a sex offender right now.

192
00:07:48,472 --> 00:07:52,174
Wow, I've never seen a fake I.D.
as sophisticated as this.

193
00:07:52,209 --> 00:07:53,943
If these got
into the wrong hands,

194
00:07:53,977 --> 00:07:56,278
they could be a huge threat
to national security.

195
00:07:56,313 --> 00:07:58,047
That's what I was trying
to tell her father

196
00:07:58,081 --> 00:08:01,217
before he fell on all those
bullets coming out of my gun.

197
00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:03,986
Anyway, your new priority
is to find the man

198
00:08:04,021 --> 00:08:06,389
who's making these and
shut him down for good.

199
00:08:06,423 --> 00:08:07,623
You can count on me, sir.

200
00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:08,658
Do we have any leads?

201
00:08:08,692 --> 00:08:09,659
Only one.

202
00:08:09,693 --> 00:08:11,460
He goes by the name Guttenberg.

203
00:08:11,495 --> 00:08:13,129
Steve Guttenberg.

204
00:08:13,163 --> 00:08:16,766
But we have no record of a man
by that name ever existing.

205
00:08:20,137 --> 00:08:22,872
Wow, last night was
our best take ever.

206
00:08:22,906 --> 00:08:24,573
Way to go, little bro.

207
00:08:24,608 --> 00:08:26,709
Right back at you, big sis.

208
00:08:26,743 --> 00:08:28,077
I knew it!

209
00:08:28,111 --> 00:08:30,279
I knew I could find
the kitchen blindfolded.

210
00:08:30,313 --> 00:08:31,981
Boy, do I know this house.

211
00:08:32,015 --> 00:08:33,349
Uh, hey-hey, Dad.

212
00:08:33,383 --> 00:08:34,617
What's new?

213
00:08:34,651 --> 00:08:36,652
I've just been handed
a very important case.

214
00:08:36,686 --> 00:08:39,021
Some master forger
named Guttenberg

215
00:08:39,055 --> 00:08:40,456
is making fake I.D.'s.

216
00:08:40,490 --> 00:08:41,991
The best I've ever seen.

217
00:08:42,025 --> 00:08:43,359
That's right.

218
00:08:43,393 --> 00:08:44,493
He should be as nervous

219
00:08:44,528 --> 00:08:45,928
as you two look right now.

220
00:08:45,962 --> 00:08:48,164
All I have to do
is bait the trap.

221
00:08:48,198 --> 00:08:49,865
And he may be a master forger,

222
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:52,668
but I am a master bai... whoa!

223
00:08:52,702 --> 00:08:54,570
Whoa, that was close.

224
00:08:54,604 --> 00:08:57,873
Almost master-baited
myself there.

225
00:08:57,908 --> 00:08:59,175
Did you hear that?

226
00:08:59,209 --> 00:09:00,376
We got to quit!

227
00:09:00,410 --> 00:09:02,478
Calm down.
He doesn't know it's us.

228
00:09:02,512 --> 00:09:04,013
Besides, we're making
too much money

229
00:09:04,047 --> 00:09:05,614
for you to chicken out now.

230
00:09:05,649 --> 00:09:08,117
And don't you like working
with your big sis?

231
00:09:08,151 --> 00:09:09,618
Well... yeah.

232
00:09:09,653 --> 00:09:11,453
And I can't do it without you.

233
00:09:11,488 --> 00:09:13,355
You're the genius
who makes it all happen.

234
00:09:13,390 --> 00:09:14,456
You really mean that?

235
00:09:14,491 --> 00:09:15,591
I do.

236
00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:16,959
And don't worry about Dad.

237
00:09:16,993 --> 00:09:18,594
I've been keeping things
from him my whole life.

238
00:09:18,628 --> 00:09:20,296
A-ha!

239
00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:22,298
Is playing the county fair.

240
00:09:22,332 --> 00:09:24,099
Although now that
I think about it,

241
00:09:24,134 --> 00:09:25,634
I only know that one song.

242
00:09:25,669 --> 00:09:26,936
And parking.

243
00:09:26,970 --> 00:09:28,737
And fair food
gives me the runs.

244
00:09:28,772 --> 00:09:30,272
You know what, I talked
myself out of it.

245
00:09:30,307 --> 00:09:32,474
I'll leave you
to your whispers.

246
00:09:34,077 --> 00:09:35,945
Stan, are you coming to bed?

247
00:09:35,979 --> 00:09:37,880
Oh, quite the opposite,
Francine.

248
00:09:37,914 --> 00:09:40,349
Not only am I not going
to bed as Stan,

249
00:09:40,383 --> 00:09:42,718
I'm leaving the house
as someone else.

250
00:09:42,752 --> 00:09:44,520
Feel free to ask
a follow-up question.

251
00:09:44,554 --> 00:09:45,654
No, that's okay.

252
00:09:45,689 --> 00:09:47,189
You see, Francine,
if I'm gonna catch a man

253
00:09:47,224 --> 00:09:50,960
who sells fake I.D.'s to teens,
I need to go undercover tonight

254
00:09:50,994 --> 00:09:53,596
in full <i>21 Jump Street</i> mode.

255
00:09:58,869 --> 00:10:01,136
Excuse me, fellow youth.

256
00:10:01,171 --> 00:10:02,938
Can I ask you
where one might...?

257
00:10:02,973 --> 00:10:04,340
Let me ask you a
question first.

258
00:10:04,374 --> 00:10:06,242
Can I buy you a drink?

259
00:10:06,276 --> 00:10:08,110
Me?

260
00:10:08,144 --> 00:10:09,511
This young thing?

261
00:10:09,546 --> 00:10:10,846
Sure.

262
00:11:02,832 --> 00:11:03,966
You're trembling.

263
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,768
It's just that...

264
00:11:05,802 --> 00:11:08,037
I'm afraid this might be
one big dream,

265
00:11:08,071 --> 00:11:10,406
and I don't want to wake up.

266
00:11:15,578 --> 00:11:17,112
So how did it go?

267
00:11:17,147 --> 00:11:20,249
Did you get that intel
you were looking for?

268
00:11:20,283 --> 00:11:21,717
Damn it!

269
00:11:24,254 --> 00:11:25,688
And so, after four dates

270
00:11:25,722 --> 00:11:28,023
and a trip to the Cape
with his family,

271
00:11:28,058 --> 00:11:30,125
I finally got the information
I was looking for.

272
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:31,927
His parents made us sleep
in separate rooms,

273
00:11:31,962 --> 00:11:34,163
but, uh, you know.

274
00:11:34,197 --> 00:11:37,066
Anyway, Guttenberg parks
his van at Fifth and Wellington

275
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:38,500
every Thursday night.

276
00:11:38,535 --> 00:11:41,270
And tonight will be his last.

277
00:11:43,707 --> 00:11:45,040
Hayley, who are you calling?

278
00:11:45,075 --> 00:11:46,508
Ma, I need the room.

279
00:11:46,543 --> 00:11:48,644
Why don't you go down
to the mall kiosk

280
00:11:48,678 --> 00:11:50,279
and get yourself
a nice phone case?

281
00:11:50,313 --> 00:11:52,147
Ooh, you're so good to me.

282
00:11:53,616 --> 00:11:56,318
Come on, Steve, pick up.

283
00:12:03,159 --> 00:12:05,527
Uhp, out of toner again.

284
00:12:05,562 --> 00:12:08,797
Uh! I told Hayley we should have
gotten a bubble jet printer.

285
00:12:08,832 --> 00:12:11,467
But she's, like,
"No, they cost too much."

286
00:12:11,501 --> 00:12:14,136
And I'm like, "Yeah, but
the price per page is lower."

287
00:12:14,170 --> 00:12:16,138
And she's, like,
"Hey, do what you want."

288
00:12:16,172 --> 00:12:19,008
And I'm, like,
"No, I don't want to upset you.

289
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,209
Not that important."

290
00:12:20,243 --> 00:12:24,013
Yup, that's how
that conversation went down.

291
00:12:26,934 --> 00:12:30,619
You've Gutten away
for the last time, Guttenberg.

292
00:12:30,653 --> 00:12:32,195
Berg your pardon?

293
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,187
Cat Gutte your tongue?

294
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,622
You're arrested!

295
00:12:35,656 --> 00:12:37,991
You're just too Gutte
to be true,

296
00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:40,560
I won't take my cuffs
off of you.

297
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:43,263
Any of those will be fine.

298
00:12:43,297 --> 00:12:45,965
What the hell?

299
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,101
Steve! What are you
doing here?

300
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,702
I was just walking
home for dinner

301
00:12:49,737 --> 00:12:51,304
when somebody jumped me,

302
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:54,307
threw a bag over my head
and shoved me in Jeff's van!

303
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,576
Oh, yeah, this is Jeff's van.

304
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,478
Wait a minute.
What did your kidnapper say?

305
00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:00,313
He said his name was Guttenberg,

306
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,415
and that you're Gutten colder,

307
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:06,252
and it might be a Gutt I.D.-ah
for you to give up.

308
00:13:06,287 --> 00:13:08,988
Using my own
child, and worst of all,

309
00:13:09,023 --> 00:13:11,925
my son-in-law's van
to make me look like a fool!

310
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,693
He's toying with me.

311
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:16,596
Yeah, it's like he's
one step ahead of you.

312
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,390
That hadn't occurred to me,
but you're right!

313
00:13:18,399 --> 00:13:20,300
He's probably
watching me right now!

314
00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:22,168
Oh, almost definitely.

315
00:13:22,203 --> 00:13:23,603
You like to watch, Guttenberg?!

316
00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:24,971
You want a show?!

317
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,639
Well, how do you like this?!

318
00:13:26,674 --> 00:13:28,541
Who looks like a fool now?

319
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,947
Thank God I picked up that
second time you called.

320
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,216
I had plenty of time to
put the bag over my head

321
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,884
and tie up my hands.

322
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,385
But how did you hide
the equipment?

323
00:13:39,420 --> 00:13:40,954
Simple magician's patter.

324
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,488
It was all misdirection.

325
00:13:48,162 --> 00:13:50,797
Wow. You came so close
to getting caught.

326
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,065
Were you scared?

327
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,566
No, it was a rush!

328
00:13:53,601 --> 00:13:56,002
And now Dad has no idea
what's going on.

329
00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:59,339
It's Dad!
He figured it out!

330
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:02,208
Roger.

331
00:14:02,243 --> 00:14:03,243
Kevin Ramage.

332
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:04,244
What do you want?

333
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:05,345
You're making chump change

334
00:14:05,379 --> 00:14:06,980
selling fake I.D.'s
to teenagers.

335
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,915
The big money's in passports,

336
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,117
green cards,
counterfeit currency.

337
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,919
Come work for me.
We'll make a bundle.

338
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,754
Are you nuts?!
That's too dangerous.

339
00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:16,149
I'm not talking
to you, sweetheart.

340
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,490
I'm talking to the talent.

341
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,758
What do you say, Steve?

342
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,426
I say you got a lot of nerve

343
00:14:20,461 --> 00:14:22,428
trying to come between me
and my sister!

344
00:14:23,797 --> 00:14:25,064
Whoa, are you okay?

345
00:14:25,099 --> 00:14:27,066
I'm fine. I just missed
the step backing out.

346
00:14:27,101 --> 00:14:28,835
I didn't realize how.

347
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,937
Gosh, be careful, okay?

348
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,171
Thanks, I will.

349
00:14:32,206 --> 00:14:34,274
All right, good.
And stay out!

350
00:14:36,844 --> 00:14:39,245
So, who's Guttenberg?
Are you any closer?

351
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:40,580
Yes, he's a teenager.

352
00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:42,614
Probably working with a sibling,
but not a brother.

353
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:44,284
He's from a two-parent home.

354
00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:46,319
Father is driven,
but stunningly dim.

355
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,821
Mother is all over the map,
but hot.

356
00:14:48,856 --> 00:14:51,391
And there's something sexually
ambiguous living in his attic.

357
00:14:51,425 --> 00:14:53,593
Yeah, those are
the cold facts of his life.

358
00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:55,628
Tell me about the man.

359
00:14:55,663 --> 00:14:58,097
Put it on the board.
I'm a visual thinker.

360
00:14:58,132 --> 00:14:59,299
Okay.

361
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:00,433
He's smart...

362
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,035
he's tricky...

363
00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,570
he's energetic.

364
00:15:04,605 --> 00:15:06,639
He's very energetic.

365
00:15:06,674 --> 00:15:08,775
See? Nothing.

366
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,611
Who are you?!

367
00:15:19,653 --> 00:15:22,355
I'm gonna take a break
and check on the girls.

368
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,457
Lucky and Buttermilk
have been fighting.

369
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,659
Those sound like horse names,
but they're people.

370
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:31,464
Oh, hey, what are you guys
doing here?

371
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,299
Out-Outside
of a strip club?

372
00:15:33,334 --> 00:15:35,601
Oh, we just come here
ironically.

373
00:15:35,636 --> 00:15:37,870
Plus I work here.

374
00:15:37,905 --> 00:15:39,839
What are <i>you</i> doing here?

375
00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:42,408
Remember when my little brother
made those fake I.D.'s?

376
00:15:42,443 --> 00:15:44,477
Well, now we're
in business together.

377
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,946
Wait? Ew.

378
00:15:46,981 --> 00:15:49,816
You're business partners with
your pervy little brother?

379
00:15:49,850 --> 00:15:52,318
Yeah, that's pretty lame.

380
00:15:52,353 --> 00:15:53,987
What? Oh, no.

381
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,990
No, I meant
my brother works for me.

382
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:59,058
He likes to think
we're partners,

383
00:15:59,093 --> 00:16:01,928
but I'm the genius
that makes it all happen.

384
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:04,297
I just wanted to give
that loser a break

385
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,598
from building blanket forts.

386
00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:17,076
Oh, uh, is Ramage here?

387
00:16:17,111 --> 00:16:20,680
Kevin! One of your little
friends is at the door.

388
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:22,715
Can I go out with you
and Kevin tonight?

389
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:25,752
Brandon! Leave
my friends alone!

390
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,820
My family sucks.

391
00:16:27,855 --> 00:16:29,389
What do you want, Guttenberg?

392
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:30,590
I want in.

393
00:16:30,624 --> 00:16:32,392
I don't care
how dangerous it is.

394
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:33,926
I need a partner
who respects me.

395
00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:35,395
I'm glad you came around.

396
00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:38,331
Let me go get my jacket,
and we'll get started.

397
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:41,300
So, you're a big boy,
aren't ya?

398
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:46,339
Don't look so surprised.
You know it's me.

399
00:16:50,970 --> 00:16:52,204
Steve, you ready to go to work?

400
00:16:52,238 --> 00:16:53,605
The Taiwanese are coming in

401
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,140
for the Little League
World Series,

402
00:16:55,175 --> 00:16:57,276
and they are looking
to buy some cigarettes.

403
00:16:57,310 --> 00:16:59,478
Oh, but Hayley,
you're the genius

404
00:16:59,512 --> 00:17:00,879
who makes it all happen.

405
00:17:00,914 --> 00:17:03,715
I'm just the loser
who makes blanket forts.

406
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:06,118
Oh... you heard that.

407
00:17:06,152 --> 00:17:07,519
You're out, Hayley.

408
00:17:07,554 --> 00:17:08,754
What's this for?

409
00:17:08,788 --> 00:17:09,955
The van.

410
00:17:09,989 --> 00:17:11,723
It belongs to me
and my new partner now.

411
00:17:11,758 --> 00:17:14,059
47 seconds.

412
00:17:14,093 --> 00:17:16,028
That is a personal best.

413
00:17:16,062 --> 00:17:17,996
Well, not counting
Adam Levine's Jacuzzi.

414
00:17:18,031 --> 00:17:21,433
But that time there
was incentive!

415
00:17:21,467 --> 00:17:22,534
Kevin Ramage?!

416
00:17:22,569 --> 00:17:24,036
Steve, don't do this.

417
00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:25,671
Working with this creep
is too dangerous.

418
00:17:25,705 --> 00:17:27,439
I'll take my chances.

419
00:17:27,473 --> 00:17:29,541
Come on, Steve, we got
a lot of work to do.

420
00:17:29,576 --> 00:17:31,043
Plus I'm-I'm
pruning up here.

421
00:17:31,077 --> 00:17:33,745
My whole body is starting
to look like Meg Ryan's neck.

422
00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:36,048
Yeah, to hell with her
for getting old.

423
00:17:41,988 --> 00:17:45,157
Hayley, you spent
a lot of money on this limo

424
00:17:45,191 --> 00:17:46,658
and you're
not even saying "Whoo."

425
00:17:46,693 --> 00:17:48,961
I just got a lot on my mind.

426
00:17:48,995 --> 00:17:52,231
Oh, that sounds awful.

427
00:17:57,270 --> 00:17:59,104
Hey, driver, pull over!

428
00:18:00,807 --> 00:18:03,242
Wait for me. I just gotta
check on something.

429
00:18:03,276 --> 00:18:05,277
We can't. We have
to stop at Kristen's house

430
00:18:05,311 --> 00:18:07,412
because she accidentally
wore underwear.

431
00:18:07,447 --> 00:18:09,514
Hey, I'm all for making
a guy work for it,

432
00:18:09,549 --> 00:18:11,416
but not that hard.

433
00:18:14,654 --> 00:18:16,188
Come on, Steve.
Chop-chop!

434
00:18:16,222 --> 00:18:18,257
We gotta get these
fake passports finished.

435
00:18:18,291 --> 00:18:20,225
These Armenians are
scary people, man.

436
00:18:20,260 --> 00:18:22,094
That Turkish genocide
just pissed them off.

437
00:18:22,128 --> 00:18:24,263
That's all it did!
It just pissed them off!

438
00:18:24,297 --> 00:18:25,397
Damn it! We're late.

439
00:18:25,431 --> 00:18:27,199
We gotta get down to the docks.

440
00:18:28,935 --> 00:18:31,136
Oh, my God!
Steve's in way over his head!

441
00:18:32,338 --> 00:18:33,305
Hello?

442
00:18:33,339 --> 00:18:34,573
Dad, Steve's in trouble!

443
00:18:34,607 --> 00:18:36,341
Oh, no, it's Guttenberg,
isn't it?!

444
00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:37,476
He's got him again!

445
00:18:37,510 --> 00:18:40,112
Sure, why not?
Just get to the docks now!

446
00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:46,551
Dimitri, you old so-and-so!

447
00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:48,353
Nice tracksuit, buddy.

448
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:51,089
This is Guttenberg.
Best forger in the business.

449
00:18:51,124 --> 00:18:54,493
Hi. So I-I have
your passports.

450
00:18:54,527 --> 00:18:56,495
Now what do you have for us?

451
00:18:56,529 --> 00:18:58,330
These.

452
00:18:59,532 --> 00:19:00,799
Uh-oh.

453
00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:02,200
The double cross.

454
00:19:02,235 --> 00:19:04,269
Classic.

455
00:19:04,304 --> 00:19:05,604
Attention, you in the warehouse!

456
00:19:05,638 --> 00:19:07,172
We have you surrounded!

457
00:19:08,908 --> 00:19:11,410
This is the CIA!

458
00:19:11,444 --> 00:19:13,145
Guttenberg,
we know you're in there!

459
00:19:13,179 --> 00:19:14,713
Come out with your hands up!

460
00:19:14,747 --> 00:19:16,815
You want Guttenberg alive?

461
00:19:16,849 --> 00:19:18,383
You let us go!

462
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:20,585
Wait. Steve is Guttenberg?

463
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:21,687
No!

464
00:19:21,721 --> 00:19:23,689
Steve's not Guttenberg!

465
00:19:23,723 --> 00:19:25,123
I am.

466
00:19:25,158 --> 00:19:26,191
You're Guttenberg?

467
00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:27,859
Yes, Dad.

468
00:19:27,894 --> 00:19:30,028
And this is all my fault.

469
00:19:30,063 --> 00:19:32,364
I used Steve to make
money, and-and...

470
00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:36,768
Kevin Ramage!

471
00:19:40,740 --> 00:19:43,375
Steve, thank God you're okay.

472
00:19:43,409 --> 00:19:45,344
Well, Smith, you
solved the case.

473
00:19:45,378 --> 00:19:47,245
You found Guttenberg.
Good work.

474
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,780
Take her away.

475
00:19:48,815 --> 00:19:52,985
But, sir, Guttenberg or not,
I can't arrest my own daughter.

476
00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:55,053
Can you do it?

477
00:19:56,723 --> 00:19:58,590
Smith, your lawyer's
here to see you.

478
00:19:58,624 --> 00:19:59,758
Lawyer?

479
00:19:59,792 --> 00:20:01,226
He says he's your lawyer.

480
00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:03,395
His official lawyer card
checks out.

481
00:20:05,498 --> 00:20:07,199
Hi, Steve.

482
00:20:07,233 --> 00:20:09,968
Hayley, why'd you take
the rap for me?

483
00:20:10,003 --> 00:20:12,237
I... I felt bad.

484
00:20:12,271 --> 00:20:15,340
Your life was in danger,
and it was all because of me.

485
00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:17,976
You had a skill,
and I-I took advantage of it.

486
00:20:18,011 --> 00:20:19,511
But we were partners,

487
00:20:19,545 --> 00:20:21,780
and then you told those girls
I was a loser.

488
00:20:21,814 --> 00:20:23,281
I know. I'm sorry.

489
00:20:23,316 --> 00:20:25,217
They-they put me on the spot,

490
00:20:25,251 --> 00:20:27,419
and I was, I was just trying
to look cool.

491
00:20:27,453 --> 00:20:30,922
I guess I deserve to be in here
for the next ten years.

492
00:20:30,957 --> 00:20:33,425
See you when I'm 29.

493
00:20:33,459 --> 00:20:35,260
Oh, you mean...

494
00:20:35,294 --> 00:20:36,962
yesterday?

495
00:20:38,698 --> 00:20:40,032
Guard!

496
00:20:40,066 --> 00:20:41,099
Thanks, little brother.

497
00:20:41,134 --> 00:20:42,367
Any time, sis.

498
00:20:42,402 --> 00:20:45,070
Now if you'll excuse me,
I've got work to do.

499
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:49,241
Open up cellblock H!

500
00:20:49,275 --> 00:20:52,778
Surprise inspection, ladies!
Let's whip 'em out!

501
00:20:52,812 --> 00:20:54,946
What a loser.

