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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, ♪
♪ gonna have myself a time. ♪
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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ humble folks without temptation. ♪
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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, ♪
♪ gonna leave my woes behind. ♪
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♪ Ample parking day or night, ♪
♪ people spouting, "Howdy, neighbor". ♪
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♪ I'm headin' down to South Park, ♪
♪ gonna see if I can't unwind. ♪
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♪ Murpph mmmph mmph ♪
♪ mmmph mrrr mff mrmmph! ♪
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♪ Murpph mmmph ♪
♪ mmph mmph mrrr mff mrmmph! ♪
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♪ So come on down to South Park, ♪
♪ and meet some friends of mine. ♪
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Synced by Reef
www.addic7ed.com
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Yeah, yeah, do we rock,
yeah, yeah, take it to the top.
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Yeah, yeah, are we gonna stop,
no way, no way.
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Cheer squad roll call!
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Heidi! Nicole! Bebe.
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Lola. Fred. Annie.
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Lisa Burger.
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- Oh, God.
- Here we go.
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Could we maybe try one
without Lisa Berger?
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You guys, stop it.
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Okay, Lisa, that's great but you
need to have more confidence, okay?
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- But I'm the fat one.
- What?
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Every cheerleading squad has
the fat ugly cheerleader and that's me.
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See, that's the problem, Lisa.
You have a bad self image.
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Just project all your sassiness
to all the boys out there, okay?
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There's only one boy
that Lisa cares about.
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- Yeah, Lisa has a crush on Butters.
- Shut up.
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But Lisa, that's great! Have you
told Butters that you like him?
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No way. I'd just get made fun of.
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Lisa, this is exactly what you need.
Take Butters to see a movie or something.
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It'll do wonders
for your confidence.
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So then the family with the mustache
saw the cupcakes
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then lady takes out a gun
and puts it in his face and she says...
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Excuse me,
Butters.
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Oh, yes?
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Uh, well, I was just wondering if maybe
you'd like to go to a movie this weekend.
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Oh, like a date?
No thanks, Lisa.
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I really appreciate the offer
but you're too fat for me.
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Okay. Thanks.
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See you, Lisa!
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Ha-ha, Butters got asked out
by a fat girl.
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At least she didn't try
to sit on him.
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You guys, come on.
That's not cute.
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You shouldn't rip on her
because she's fat.
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You should rip on her
because she's ugly, okay?
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She looks like someone hit her
in the face with a hot shovel
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and that's why she
sucks, alright?
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♪ Camptown ladies sing this song,
Doo-dah, Doo-dah... ♪
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♪ Camptown race-track five miles long,
Oh, doo-dah day ♪
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- What the BEEP is your problem?
- Oh, hey, Wendy.
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Are you just an asshole?
Is that it?
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- Am I just an asshole?
- Yeah!
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Well, no, I've got arms and legs,
I've got everything.
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Lisa Burger asked you out
and you called her "fat"?!
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Do you have any idea
how you made her feel?
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She's a really nice girl!
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I think she's a nice girl too.
She's just too big for me.
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She's a little overweight, but that's
pretty normal for a girl in fourth grade.
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Well Kim Kardashian is skinny
and she just had a baby.
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What?!
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I'm sorry, Wendy, but I have a different
standard when it comes to my women.
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I want a woman who takes care of herself
and knows how to look good,
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who's got perfect skin and no splotches
on her legs and perfect everything.
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This is a fantasy, you moron!
You ever heard of Photoshop?
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Kim Kardashian is a short overweight
woman who manipulates her image
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and makes average girls
feel horrible about themselves.
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- You're a liar!
- Look it up, stupid!
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In real life, Kim Kardashian
has the body of a hobbit.
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You're gonna be
in real trouble
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when the teachers find out what
you said to that poor girl.
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Uh, take a seat, Wendy.
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I guess some mean things were said
and I need to get to the bottom of it.
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Oh, good, Lisa Burger told on you?
Good.
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Uh, no, Wendy, apparently you called
Butters' girlfriend a hobbit.
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Are you serious?
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You did! You said Kim is short, fat,
with big hairy feet and she's a hobbit.
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That's not his girlfriend.
It's Kim Kardashian!
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But, Wendy, Kim Kardashian is considered
to be extremely beautiful. M'kay?
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Right. But she's not in real life.
She's a hobbit.
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Wow, she said it again!
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00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,758
Now, Wendy, Kim might be
full figured,
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but a woman's outward appearance
isn't all that matters, okay?
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Have you stopped to consider
that maybe, just maybe...
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You're jel?
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I'm not jel.
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00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:05,508
And I happen to be the biggest
feminist at this school.
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That may be true, but there's
a very fine line, Wendy,
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between being a feminist
and being a hater, m'kay?
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00:04:12,784 --> 00:04:17,170
And you're gonna have to find that line
because nobody likes a girl who's jelly.
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Okay, kids, there's been
some hurtful and hateful things
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being said around
this school.
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And so, we're gonna hear
from a guest speaker,
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here to explain why Kim Kardashian
is not a hobbit.
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Please welcome Aquaman.
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- Uh-huh. Uh-huh, that's right.
- Uh-oh.
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Okay, first of all, I'm not Aquaman.
I'm a recovering gay fish.
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Yes, I have met Aquaman, I have hung out
with Aquaman,
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but the only thing I have in common with
Aquaman any more is my love for the sea.
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Now, there've been malicious rumors
started at this elementary school
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that my beautiful
fiancée is a hobbit.
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That is not funny.
And it's not true, all right?
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00:05:06,049 --> 00:05:09,359
Yes, Kim is heavier than most
of her pictures show her to be.
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00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,147
Yes, she gets her hair
lasered off her body.
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Yes, she has a friend named Gandalf
who happens to be a wizard.
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I'm sorry,
excuse me a minute.
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Bitch, how you not the hobbit again?
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Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
Right, right, right, yeah, okay.
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Yup, okay. Let me.. Okay.
Yep, I got it. Okay. Love you too.
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Okay. If my fiancée Kim
is a hobbit,
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then how come... then, okay,
if she's a hobbit
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then how come she don't live
in a hole in the ground?
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Boom! All y'all just got lit up, cop!
She don't live in no hole in no ground,
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she is lives in a big-ass mansion
with me,
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in her room that is slightly below ground.
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So, you can...
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She...she is sexy and womanly
and she smokes a pipe,
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she can blow them rings
over her head and...
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Hold up.
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Bitch, you not a hobbit, right?
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No, I know, you just you smoke that long
pipe sometimes when you sit by the fire.
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Oh, it's a... Oh, okay. Gottit, gottit.
What do you call it? Yup.
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Yep. Got it. Okay.
Yep. Love you too.
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That is not a hobbit pipe,
for your information.
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It is a personal
oral humidifier,
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to keep all the wrinkles around
her mouth from showing.
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So ha ha, all you haters, ha!
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- Butters, Butters, come here for a sec.
- Oh, no, you don't, Wendy.
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You're not trapping me inside
the computer lab to beat me up.
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Butters, would you please let me show you
something so we can put this behind us.
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Alright, but if you try
to punch me, I'll scream.
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I want you to see just how easy this is,
so we can better understand each other.
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This is Lisa Burger's
class photo, right?
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Okay...?
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Now, first thing we do is just
photoshop the bulges on the sides,
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we select the eyes, make them a nicer
shape, take off any blemishes on her skin,
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00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:04,392
lengthen the neck, add more to the hair,
select the lips, make 'em fuller,
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00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,592
take out any puffiness on her skin,
here, add fullness to the breast,
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00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,876
length to the torso, take away
that fold of skin,
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00:07:09,877 --> 00:07:13,699
streamline the shoulders, put
highlights in the eyes and... there.
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- That's Lisa Burger?!
- Do you see what I'm talking about?
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- She's pretty!
- That's how people like Kim Kardashian
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destroy the self image
of little girls everywhere.
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Hold up, are you saying
that girl wants to go out with me?
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- What? What do you mean?
- And I said no?!
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Oh, man, I got to upload this
and then go buy her some flowers,
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- ...and then go tell her I love her.
- Butters!
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Lisa? Lisa Burger?
Anybody seen Lisa Burger?
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Oh, hi, Eric, have you seen
Lisa Burger anywhere?
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I saw the picture of her
you put on the Internet.
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I know. I'm gonna
tell her I love her,
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and we're gonna be together
and be happy forever.
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Uh, Butters, I don't know
how to tell you this, but...
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- Lisa Burger's going out with Clyde.
- What?! Since when?
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Dude, since like noon or 12:30 today.
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Hey, Token. Token,
check out my girlfriend.
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- Wow, she's hot.
- Yeah, we just started dating seriously.
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You want to meet
my new girlfriend, Tweek?
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- Oh, man, you're a lucky guy.
- Yeah, I know.
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Hey, Clyde,
nice score, dude.
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00:08:22,712 --> 00:08:25,084
- Yeah!
- Ha, thanks, guys.
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Hey, Stan, did you see Clyde's
going out with Lisa Bu-Burger.
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Yeah, dude. She looks amazing.
Clyde sent me her pics.
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- She got really hot all of a sudden.
- Yeah, I wouldn't mind tapping that ass.
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Excuse me.
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00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:40,827
Oh, hey, Wendy.
Clyde sent me these, don't be jel.
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Why would I be jel?
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Well, you got to admit.
Lisa Burger's pretty hot, Wendy.
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She's not hot.
That's supposed to be the point.
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- She looks pretty hot here.
- Lisa Burger is not hot!
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00:08:50,394 --> 00:08:52,118
She's fat and ugly.
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00:08:52,146 --> 00:08:55,570
- That's not very nice, Wendy.
- What's your problem, Wendy?
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00:08:56,433 --> 00:08:59,822
- I'm sorry. It's nothing personal, Lisa.
- You're just a hater.
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00:08:59,823 --> 00:09:02,642
Why don't you mind your own business
instead is of being jelly.
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00:09:02,647 --> 00:09:06,293
I am not jelly! I made
that picture of you to prove a point.
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00:09:06,294 --> 00:09:09,011
- And it's being taken the wrong way!
- It's okay, babe.
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00:09:09,012 --> 00:09:11,217
Girls that don't have what you
have will always put you down.
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00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,455
Thanks, babe.
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00:09:12,456 --> 00:09:15,083
Now, Wendy, I've tried
to be patient with you,
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00:09:15,109 --> 00:09:17,655
because you've always
been a good student, m'kay?
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00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:21,442
But calling a little girl fat
and ugly is never m'kay.
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00:09:21,444 --> 00:09:23,365
Mr. Mackey, I was trying
to show kids that...
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00:09:23,366 --> 00:09:27,749
No, no excuses. You have a problem
being jelly, Wendy. M'kay?
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00:09:27,751 --> 00:09:30,697
Just maybe I should have you
sent off to Jelly School.
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00:09:30,698 --> 00:09:31,970
Jelly School...?
183
00:09:31,995 --> 00:09:35,412
That's right. In fact, I'm gonna call
the Jelly School right now, m'kay?
184
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:38,238
I'm sorry about this, but
it's gone too far. I've had it.
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00:09:38,472 --> 00:09:40,295
Hello, is this the Jelly School?
186
00:09:40,296 --> 00:09:42,523
M'kay, I have a girl here
who's extremely jelly.
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00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:45,004
I was wondering if you can
take her in for a few weeks.
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00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:48,763
M'kay, you're full? M'kay, I guess
she dodged the bullet this time
189
00:09:48,764 --> 00:09:50,874
but she better watch
her jelly behavior
190
00:09:50,884 --> 00:09:54,315
Mr. Mackey, I appreciate the point
you're trying to make.
191
00:09:54,340 --> 00:09:56,340
Y-you do...?
192
00:09:56,341 --> 00:10:00,867
Okay, well I'm not actually on the phone
with the Jelly School, Wendy, m'kay?
193
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:04,003
Yes. I'm... I'm a few steps
ahead of that, yes.
194
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:07,789
M'kay, well, Wendy, I'm just tryin' to...
...Bye, Jelly School.
195
00:10:07,791 --> 00:10:10,187
Uh, Wendy, I'm just trying
to make you understand
196
00:10:10,188 --> 00:10:12,810
how serious it is when
you lash out at other girls,
197
00:10:12,835 --> 00:10:15,210
Thank you, Mr. Mackey.
Yeah, I will... change.
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00:10:15,211 --> 00:10:16,460
M'... kay.
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00:10:16,955 --> 00:10:20,087
___
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00:10:20,308 --> 00:10:25,277
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor
to give the Person of the Year award
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00:10:25,278 --> 00:10:28,554
to this year's winner,
Pope Francis.
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00:10:36,733 --> 00:10:38,603
Gracias... Gracias...
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00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:42,169
- All of my children...
- Alright, hold up.
204
00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:44,281
Hold up. I'm sorry, Pope,
but hold up.
205
00:10:44,306 --> 00:10:46,306
I just gotta say this.
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00:10:46,363 --> 00:10:50,973
If my fiancée is a hobbit,
then, um...
207
00:10:51,927 --> 00:10:53,630
Then what, bitch?
208
00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:59,305
Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay,
if she was... if she is a hobbit,
209
00:10:59,306 --> 00:11:03,439
then how come she don't
turn blue when goblins are near?
210
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:07,294
Oh, you didn't think of that!
Oh, I guess she's not a hobbit, then!
211
00:11:07,295 --> 00:11:09,872
She must be
a beautiful sexy woman!
212
00:11:10,134 --> 00:11:15,392
The hobbit doesn't turn blue
around goblins, just his sword does.
213
00:11:15,393 --> 00:11:19,550
Man, get the BEEP out of here, you hobbit
trivia bitch. Who the BEEP asked you?
214
00:11:19,551 --> 00:11:23,233
Nobody is talking any more
shit about my woman all right?
215
00:11:23,234 --> 00:11:24,903
She is gorgeous.
216
00:11:24,928 --> 00:11:28,240
If she was here you could all see
for yourself how beautiful she is,
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00:11:28,241 --> 00:11:32,045
but she can't be here, because
she has a movie coming out on Friday,
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00:11:32,046 --> 00:11:35,357
directed by Peter Jackson,
called "The Hobbit".
219
00:11:35,613 --> 00:11:36,949
Hold up.
220
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:41,020
Bitch, that movie you got
coming out is called "The Hobbit"...?
221
00:11:41,861 --> 00:11:46,356
Yeah, but it... It's what?
Oh, yeah, yup, yup.
222
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:49,060
I got it. Yup. Let me tell them.
Love you too.
223
00:11:49,602 --> 00:11:52,363
Kim is not even in that movie.
224
00:11:52,365 --> 00:11:55,388
That movie is just loosely
based on her television show,
225
00:11:55,413 --> 00:11:57,112
"Keeping up with the Kardashians",
226
00:11:57,113 --> 00:12:02,853
which is a show about short loud little
people living in a fantasy world. Hold up.
227
00:12:04,217 --> 00:12:06,813
Bitch, if you the hobbit, you
need to let me know right now,
228
00:12:06,814 --> 00:12:09,276
'cause I'm making a fool
of myself out here.
229
00:12:09,776 --> 00:12:13,038
Yeah, yeah, do we rock,
yeah, yeah, take it to the top.
230
00:12:13,063 --> 00:12:15,835
Yeah, yeah, are we gonna stop,
no way, no way.
231
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,556
Cheer squad roar call!
232
00:12:17,557 --> 00:12:19,321
Heidi. Nicole.
233
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:22,490
Bebe. Lola. Fred. Annie.
234
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:25,831
Lisa Burger. [Cheering]
235
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,811
And I'm your captain,
Wendy. [ Silence ]
236
00:12:41,883 --> 00:12:44,767
Look, Wendy we're all
very happy for Lisa, okay?
237
00:12:44,769 --> 00:12:48,761
Nobody here is jelly but the boys don't
even notice the rest of us any more.
238
00:12:48,762 --> 00:12:51,569
All we're asking is you do for us
what you did for Lisa,
239
00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:53,039
and help with our
imperfections.
240
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:56,540
- I won't do you, guys. I'm sorry.
- Why, don't you care about us?
241
00:12:56,541 --> 00:12:58,011
Because it's wrong.
242
00:12:58,057 --> 00:13:01,575
If you guys are unhappy with the way
you look, then that's your problem.
243
00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:04,121
Hey, girls.
244
00:13:04,346 --> 00:13:07,875
Don't be sad. If you want
to look really hot, like me,
245
00:13:07,876 --> 00:13:11,957
you just got to be willing to sweat.
Get down to the gym and work.
246
00:13:11,982 --> 00:13:17,686
♪ Lisa Berger - Work Slut ♪
247
00:13:17,687 --> 00:13:21,129
All right, girls we're gonna trim
that fat and tone those bodies.
248
00:13:21,130 --> 00:13:23,130
Let's do this.
You first.
249
00:13:24,208 --> 00:13:26,186
Get right up there.
250
00:13:26,317 --> 00:13:28,210
All right, now
look here.
251
00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:34,189
Come on, burn it off. You got this.
252
00:13:54,215 --> 00:13:57,069
Look at those thighs...
Come on, you gotta push harder!
253
00:14:05,263 --> 00:14:07,569
♪ You better work out, whore! ♪
254
00:14:10,262 --> 00:14:12,584
Whoa... She looks sweet.
255
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:16,123
Whoa, look at Bebe.
I had no idea Bebe was that hot.
256
00:14:16,124 --> 00:14:18,318
Yeah, but did you see
Token's girlfriend?
257
00:14:18,582 --> 00:14:20,679
Wow...
258
00:14:20,705 --> 00:14:22,872
Um, my bitch is still
the hottest, you guys.
259
00:14:22,874 --> 00:14:26,089
No way, go back to Annie Nelson.
She's built like a slim-Jim.
260
00:14:26,090 --> 00:14:29,728
Yeah, clearly Annie Nelson is the hottest
girl at our school. Look at those eyes!
261
00:14:29,729 --> 00:14:33,606
Did you not see Erica Smith's boobs, Cal?
They're like perfect water balloons.
262
00:14:33,631 --> 00:14:35,490
I do love water balloons.
263
00:14:40,995 --> 00:14:44,101
- Hey, Wendy, can I ask you a big favor?
- What?
264
00:14:44,102 --> 00:14:47,645
A lot of the pictures I have of you
are kinda outdated and I...
265
00:14:47,646 --> 00:14:49,507
You know, I wanna be able
to show everyone how pretty you are.
266
00:14:49,508 --> 00:14:50,909
So you want me to
photoshop-picture me
267
00:14:50,910 --> 00:14:52,528
to take away any
imperfections, is that it?
268
00:14:52,553 --> 00:14:55,671
- How dare you, Stan?
- Wendy, why is it such a big deal?
269
00:14:55,672 --> 00:14:58,203
Because people should be
okay with the way they look!
270
00:14:58,204 --> 00:15:02,036
I have pimples on my forehead.
My bottom teeth are crooked. So what?!
271
00:15:02,037 --> 00:15:04,339
- You have short legs.
- I do?
272
00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:07,809
Yeah, and Jason has freckles,
and Billy Turner has narrow shoulders.
273
00:15:07,834 --> 00:15:10,613
The chearleaders? Bebe has acne,
Lala's arms are too short,
274
00:15:10,638 --> 00:15:12,928
Nicole's eyes are puffy,
Annie has thin hair,
275
00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:15,686
and Heidi Turner's butt
is flat!
276
00:15:17,589 --> 00:15:21,448
- Oh, God dammit.
- You... hater!
277
00:15:21,449 --> 00:15:25,407
Wendy, in my office,
right now, m'kay?
278
00:15:25,408 --> 00:15:26,690
Aah...!
279
00:15:26,739 --> 00:15:29,417
♪ ♪
280
00:15:29,442 --> 00:15:32,687
♪ One thing I know, ♪
♪ My girl ain't no hobbit. ♪
281
00:15:32,688 --> 00:15:35,381
♪ She might be stumpy, ♪
♪ that don't mean she a hobbit... ♪
282
00:15:35,383 --> 00:15:38,115
♪ She's not a hobbit, ♪
♪ because she couldn't be. ♪
283
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:41,425
♪ She's got no Bagginses ♪
♪ in her family tree. ♪
284
00:15:41,426 --> 00:15:44,699
♪ On occasion she hangs out ♪
♪ with dwarf friends. ♪
285
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:47,875
♪ But she never went on a quest ♪
♪ with her dwarf friend. ♪
286
00:15:47,876 --> 00:15:50,628
♪ Except for one time, ♪
♪ she went to kill that dragon ♪
287
00:15:50,653 --> 00:15:52,468
♪ She took his skull and... ♪
288
00:15:52,469 --> 00:15:55,805
Hang on a minute, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. [ Phone dialing ]
289
00:15:57,629 --> 00:16:00,972
Bitch, remember when you out
to kill that dragon with them dwarves...?
290
00:16:01,341 --> 00:16:03,002
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
291
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:06,184
Right, right, right. Yup, I got it.
Yup. Love you too.
292
00:16:06,653 --> 00:16:10,108
♪ It wasn't no dragon, ♪
♪ so my girl ain't no hobbit, ♪
293
00:16:10,109 --> 00:16:13,175
♪ That was at Quiznos ♪
♪ and my bitch went to rob it, ♪
294
00:16:13,176 --> 00:16:16,305
♪ 'Cause they got the hap ♪
♪ that she rubs on her cellulite, ♪
295
00:16:16,306 --> 00:16:19,775
♪ While she drinkin' her grog ♪
♪ and singin' those merry songs... ♪
296
00:16:19,776 --> 00:16:21,105
♪ At night... ♪
297
00:16:21,131 --> 00:16:26,285
♪ My girl ain't no hobbit. Please, God, ♪
♪ tell me I ain't engaged to no hobbit ♪
298
00:16:30,167 --> 00:16:32,811
♪ Who are you yelling for? ♪
♪ South Park. ♪
299
00:16:32,813 --> 00:16:36,377
♪ Let's go, cows. Who are you ♪
♪ yelling for? South Park. ♪
300
00:16:36,402 --> 00:16:37,508
Let's go, cows.
301
00:16:37,509 --> 00:16:39,092
Heidi! Nicole! Bebe.
302
00:16:39,117 --> 00:16:40,678
Lola. Fred. Annie.
303
00:16:40,679 --> 00:16:42,480
Lisa Burger!
304
00:16:42,844 --> 00:16:44,096
Wendy.
305
00:16:44,121 --> 00:16:46,360
- Oh, she sucks!
- Oh, God...!
306
00:16:46,361 --> 00:16:48,954
- Can we try this without Wendy?
- I agree.
307
00:16:48,955 --> 00:16:52,223
Hey, come on, you guys.
She just needs more confidence.
308
00:16:52,308 --> 00:16:53,756
It's okay, Wendy.
309
00:16:53,757 --> 00:16:57,762
Who cares if no one likes you.
Maybe you should go out with Butters.
310
00:16:58,032 --> 00:17:00,306
Let's just get back
to cheering, okay?
311
00:17:00,331 --> 00:17:03,131
I don't think so.
We don't wanna cheer with a hater!
312
00:17:03,144 --> 00:17:05,719
Yeah, you have a bad
self image, Wendy.
313
00:17:05,744 --> 00:17:08,115
You need to get down to the gym
and get a better one.
314
00:17:08,116 --> 00:17:09,643
Yeah, that's right!
315
00:17:09,669 --> 00:17:12,863
See, the problem with having
fake pictures of yourself,
316
00:17:12,889 --> 00:17:16,177
is that you start to believe
in your own bullshit!
317
00:17:16,178 --> 00:17:20,262
This has gone way too far,
and if society won't fix it, I will!
318
00:17:20,263 --> 00:17:21,636
What are you
gonna do?
319
00:17:21,662 --> 00:17:24,519
Something that should have
been done a long time ago.
320
00:17:27,953 --> 00:17:31,037
It's the morning News with
Tom and Tammy Thompson.
321
00:17:31,522 --> 00:17:37,148
A little girl is making big waves
with her fight against Photoshop.
322
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:40,114
Nine-year-old Wendy Testaburger
started a campaign
323
00:17:40,115 --> 00:17:44,936
and tomorrow will speak before the State
Senate to ban the use of Photoshop images,
324
00:17:44,937 --> 00:17:47,209
saying they're harmful
to young girls.
325
00:17:47,397 --> 00:17:49,460
Young lady, what
is your message?
326
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:52,129
Watching what Photoshop
is doing to society...
327
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:55,854
Little girls are aspiring to have
bodies they can't possibly have!
328
00:17:55,855 --> 00:17:57,861
We have to put a stop to it.
329
00:17:57,949 --> 00:18:00,754
And you're not
just being a hater.
330
00:18:01,276 --> 00:18:02,579
No...
331
00:18:02,605 --> 00:18:04,528
'Cause sometimes girls
who aren't well liked,
332
00:18:04,529 --> 00:18:06,864
you know, lash out
at pretty and popular girls.
333
00:18:06,865 --> 00:18:09,062
Are you well liked
at your school?
334
00:18:09,710 --> 00:18:11,618
Not lately, no.
335
00:18:11,619 --> 00:18:14,153
Uh-huh. But you're not
being jelly.
336
00:18:14,155 --> 00:18:18,950
No, that has nothing to do with me wanting
to protest against Photoshop images.
337
00:18:18,951 --> 00:18:21,847
OK, because I do understand that
the Jelly School in Aurora
338
00:18:21,873 --> 00:18:24,055
is ready to take you in,
is that right, Rick?
339
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,420
Tom, I'm standing in front
of the Jelly School
340
00:18:26,421 --> 00:18:29,484
where officials claim they do
have room for this little hater girl.
341
00:18:29,485 --> 00:18:31,395
We're being told,
if she doesn't stop...
342
00:18:31,421 --> 00:18:34,544
That's not a Jelly School.
That's a Dunkin' Donuts.
343
00:18:36,065 --> 00:18:38,811
Well, okay, but you
are a hater.
344
00:18:38,812 --> 00:18:43,331
That's fine! People can call me whatever
names they want to. I don't care!
345
00:18:43,332 --> 00:18:46,342
There's a cancer in our country
and I'm not going to rest
346
00:18:46,343 --> 00:18:50,518
until Photoshop images are required to
be labeled for what they are - fake.
347
00:18:50,519 --> 00:18:54,330
And nothing in his world
is going to stop me.
348
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,544
Ah! What do you want?
349
00:19:11,957 --> 00:19:16,650
Once upon a time there was a
little hobbit that lived in the forest.
350
00:19:16,651 --> 00:19:21,273
And all the hobbit ever
wanted was to be beautiful.
351
00:19:21,373 --> 00:19:24,771
And even though she was
short and fat and hairy,
352
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:29,068
this little hobbit dreams that one day
she could be pretty like Beyoncé.
353
00:19:31,092 --> 00:19:35,603
And then one day, along came
a magic powder called Photoshop.
354
00:19:35,939 --> 00:19:40,078
And just like that, poof!
The little hobbit was beautiful.
355
00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:45,592
And even though she still couldn't
sing like Beyoncé or dance like Beyoncé,
356
00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:49,864
or act like Beyoncé or be
a decent human being like Beyoncé,
357
00:19:50,143 --> 00:19:52,691
the little hobbit was looked up to
and loved...
358
00:19:52,716 --> 00:19:54,716
Just like Beyoncé!
359
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,926
Soon she had money
and adoration,
360
00:19:57,927 --> 00:20:01,621
and a hip-hop fiancé who loved her
very much. I'm sorry. Hold up.
361
00:20:02,883 --> 00:20:04,579
Hold up, I'm sorry.
362
00:20:05,314 --> 00:20:07,292
Everything was good
for the hobbit,
363
00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:10,350
but then this mean little girl
called the jelly monster.
364
00:20:10,581 --> 00:20:14,326
She was so jelly of the hobbit
that she told everyone she was a liar...
365
00:20:14,942 --> 00:20:18,994
And the hobbit's fiancé realized she was
just a hobbit and you know what he said?
366
00:20:18,996 --> 00:20:20,999
He said I don't care!
367
00:20:21,164 --> 00:20:22,553
And then the jelly
monster came
368
00:20:22,579 --> 00:20:25,521
and tried to take the powder
away from the little hobbit.
369
00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:27,749
So the hobbit prayed to God...
370
00:20:27,774 --> 00:20:30,053
And God said, "Don't worry, little hobbit."
371
00:20:30,078 --> 00:20:32,307
"I will go find
this jelly monster girl"
372
00:20:32,308 --> 00:20:35,306
"and I will read her a story
and melt her icy heart."
373
00:20:35,888 --> 00:20:37,626
And the hobbit said,
"Thank you",
374
00:20:37,651 --> 00:20:41,517
and the hobbit and God lived happily ever
after in the shire because I love her so much.
375
00:20:42,938 --> 00:20:45,169
I'm sorry. Hold up. Hold up.
376
00:20:45,170 --> 00:20:47,782
- Hold up. I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
377
00:20:47,792 --> 00:20:51,617
- I'm sorry that I've been jelly.
- It's okay. Hold up.
378
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:54,619
No, I've been a hater
and I really am sorry.
379
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:57,395
It's okay. I've been jelly before too.
I'm sorry.
380
00:21:26,762 --> 00:21:28,949
___
381
00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:39,395
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