1
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:06,244
In the lead,
the left-side competition

2
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,846
Wow, you're really
good at this.

3
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,320
Well, I have an extremely
low center of gravity.

4
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,749
I'm like a pyramid.

5
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,396
How you doing over there?

6
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,592
Oh, I hope it's just a sprain.

7
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:25,698
I cannot walk into that ER

8
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:27,535
with another video game injury.

9
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,441
Hey, Sheldon,
you want to play next?

10
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:34,045
Oh, I would,
but I'm on my way out.

11
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:35,703
-Where?
-Texas.

12
00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,441
Right now? Why?

13
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,017
-Is someone sick?
-Yes.

14
00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:44,282
My sister's uterus came
down with a baby.

15
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,453
Oh, she's pregnant?
That's great.

16
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,424
You're gone an uncle--
Uncle Sheldon.

17
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,962
No, I will be Uncle Dr. Cooper.

18
00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:55,132
How come you never said
she was pregnant?

19
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,132
Well, I never told you
about my brother's kidney stone.

20
00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:58,395
You want to hear about everything

21
00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:00,232
that comes out
of my family's genitals?

22
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,040
Well, congrats, and it's nice

23
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:04,473
you're gonna be
there for your sister.

24
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:07,204
Yes. I'm filling in for her
husband who's recovering

25
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:09,474
from a horrible motorcycle accident.

26
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:11,741
Lucky duck.

27
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,545
Wow, so, how long will you be gone?

28
00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:16,314
Well, she's due tomorrow.

29
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:18,456
Although it did take her
six years to finish high school,

30
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:19,887
so who knows?

31
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,117
Can I give you a ride to the airport?

32
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,820
Oh, no, thank you, I don't want
to be an inconvenience.

33
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,826
Chop-chop, Leonard.
We leave in ten minutes.

34
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,059
I (THEME SONG PLAYS) I

35
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,290
All right, here's the deal.

36
00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,762
Sheldon is gone, so the tree
decorating rules are out the window.

37
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:02,764
Yeah, which means
we don't have to use

38
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:05,803
his ridiculous
ornament-spacing template.

39
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,830
And I'm happy to report
its Kickstarter campaign

40
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,669
is holding strong at zero dollars.

41
00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:14,039
Wait, so Star Wars
and Star Trek characters

42
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:15,703
can go on the same branch?

43
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:17,475
I know, it's crazy.

44
00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:19,481
Welcome to the Thunderdome, people!

45
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:20,778
Woo!

46
00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:23,682
I've never done this before.
It's kind of fun.

47
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,351
Yeah, if your mom could see
her little Bar Mitzvah boy right now,

48
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,481
she'd have a heart attack.

49
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:29,525
Good idea, I'll take a picture.

50
00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:35,894
Honey, I'm a little strapped
for cash this year,

51
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,662
so for Christmas I was
thinking of giving you...

52
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:40,394
...this.

53
00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:43,469
I love it.

54
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:44,803
Okay.

55
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,741
But it is what you got me last year.

56
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,902
-Yeah.
-And last night.

57
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,406
Hello.

58
00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:53,573
Hi, Stuart.

59
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,217
Oh, good, I'm glad you guys
didn't wait for me to start.

60
00:02:56,343 --> 00:03:00,223
Although you said 7:00
and it's 7:00. That's fine.

61
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:05,252
Oh, it's probably Sheldon.

62
00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:07,197
Hi, Sheldon.

63
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,266
Everybody's here, say hi.

64
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:10,367
-Hi.
-Hey, buddy.

65
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:11,093
Hey.

66
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:12,100
-Howdy.
-Hi.

67
00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:13,567
Hello.

68
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:16,999
The second
I go out of town

69
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,077
you throw a Christmas
party without me?

70
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:20,935
Yeah, kind of.

71
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:24,277
That's so thoughtful.
You guys are the best.

72
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,185
Hey, how's your sister?

73
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:29,447
She went into labor an hour ago.

74
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:32,187
That's wonderful.
So you're at the hospital?

75
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:34,953
No, she chose to have a home
birth, because she wants

76
00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:38,620
to live in the Stone Age
and a cave wasn't available.

77
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,022
You know, many people believe

78
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,033
that home births are better
because the mother

79
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,569
is in a warm, comfortable environment

80
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,638
where she can be
nurtured by loved ones.

81
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,399
And turn the bedroom floor

82
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:52,100
into an amniotic Slip 'n Slide.

83
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,074
Shelly, come on!

84
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:58,205
Your sister's fully dilated

85
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,649
and she wants
a nice family picture

86
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:02,787
before there's blood everywhere!

87
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,411
Oh, boy.

88
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:08,219
I picked the wrong day
to wear my good robot T-shirt.

89
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,055
If you were having Sheldon's baby

90
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,961
would you really want him
in the room?

91
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,929
Yeah, if he's in the room
when they're making the baby,

92
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,831
I'll give you ten dollars.

93
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:21,129
Hey, I brought over
It's a Wonderful Life

94
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:22,500
if you guys want to watch it later.

95
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:24,664
-Oh, I love that movie.
-I've never seen it.

96
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:26,572
-Me neither.
-It's great.

97
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:29,509
It's Christmas time and
Jimmy Stewart's really depressed

98
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:32,014
and he's gonna jump
off a bridge and kill himself...

99
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:34,015
Don't need to see it.
Living it.

100
00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:36,412
But then he gets to see
what the world

101
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,820
would be like
if he'd never been born.

102
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,322
Hey, you ever imagine
what that would be like?

103
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:41,585
Not being born?

104
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,319
What do you think?

105
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,758
What do you think?

106
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,691
What do you think?

107
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,765
You make jokes about Sheldon,

108
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:52,097
but if it weren't for him,

109
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:55,196
I don't think any of us would be
sitting in this room right now.

110
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:56,974
Really? Sheldon not being here

111
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:59,475
is the main reason I'm in this room.

112
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:02,676
It's true.

113
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,373
None of you would know me.

114
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,142
You wouldn't know Bernadette.

115
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:08,549
-You wouldn't be dating Penny.
-You don't know that.

116
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:10,381
I've been going to the
Cheesecake Factory for years.

117
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:11,488
I could have picked her up.

118
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,228
Oh, you weren't joking.

119
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,159
No.

120
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:20,697
Okay, sweetie, let me tell you

121
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,664
exactly how that
would have gone down.

122
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,466
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna ask her out.

123
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:30,565
I'm gonna squirt chocolate milk
out of my nipples.

124
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,809
Sorry, I thought we're saying things
that are never gonna happen.

125
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,178
Maybe this time
he's going to do it.

126
00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:40,182
Hope you're thirsty, here it comes.

127
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:43,910
Watch me.

128
00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:47,585
Hey, you guys ready to order
or you need a few minutes?

129
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:50,558
-A few minutes it is.

130
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:54,865
You didn't ask her out,
but that was a lot of sounds.

131
00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:58,160
You guys are making me nervous.

132
00:05:58,258 --> 00:05:59,737
Fine, then go talk to her
on your own.

133
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:01,728
I will.

134
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,275
-Excuse me.
-Yeah?

135
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:14,552
Hi... I'm Leonard?

136
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:17,118
Really? You don't sound so sure.

137
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:19,951
No, I am he.

138
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,618
Anyway...

139
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:29,298
There's been something I've wanted
to ask you for a long time.

140
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:30,457
What's that?

141
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:33,366
I was wondering,
if you're not too busy...

142
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,769
...if you'd be interested in...

143
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,409
...telling me where the restroom is?

144
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,107
I think you're too late.

145
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,811
Come on, I would not
have peed my pants.

146
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,889
-She nailed it.
-Sounds about right.

147
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:58,090
But, you forget,
I did ask you out in real life.

148
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,457
Which couldn't have happened
if you didn't live across the hall from her

149
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:02,157
which couldn't have
happened without Sheldon.

150
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,665
Same goes with you guys.

151
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:05,063
If Leonard wasn't with Penny,

152
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,660
she never would have set you up.

153
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,430
Doesn't matter.
Bernadette still would've been working

154
00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:09,733
at The Cheesecake Factory,

155
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:12,901
and I still would've been
working this beefcake factory.

156
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,647
You would've been all over me.

157
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,175
Well....

158
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,916
Hey, Penny, can I take that table?

159
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,010
Sure, why?

160
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,782
The one in the turtleneck is cute.

161
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,852
Open wide,
here comes the happy train.

162
00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:35,628
Mm-HM...
Chug-a chug-a, yum, yum.

163
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:40,800
Hang on.

164
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:44,198
You got a...
You got a little something.

165
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:49,138
Never mind.

166
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:54,879
-Oh, man, that is so us.

167
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,055
You know, maybe you and I
wouldn't be together,

168
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,888
but you wouldn't have
done so great yourself.

169
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,393
-Why?
-Because I know exactly

170
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:06,690
the kind of guy you
would've ended up with.

171
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:10,730
Hey, babe.

172
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,000
Hey. Did you remember
to pay the rent?

173
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,663
Better. I used the money
to buy these magic beans.

174
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:20,135
He may be an idiot, but at least
he didn't pee himself.

175
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,204
Hold on.

176
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,876
Aw, babe, I peed myself.

177
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,645
Me, too.

178
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,926
The end.

179
00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:46,559
Hi, Sheldon.

180
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:47,865
Everything okay?

181
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,036
No, it's not.

182
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:52,601
I've seen things.

183
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,274
Lady things.

184
00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:59,781
Listen to me.

185
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:02,510
That is not the way
they usually look.

186
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:06,955
It doesn't matter.

187
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,423
This is no way
to make new humans.

188
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,560
People coming out of people.

189
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,394
It's some kind of dirty magic show.

190
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:18,560
Sheldon Lee Cooper.

191
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:21,103
You get back
in this room right now.

192
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,570
And bring a mop.

193
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,940
Did you hear that?

194
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,133
A mop.

195
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,046
I have two PhDs yet
somehow I'm the janitor

196
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:30,637
of my sister's birth canal.

197
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:39,988
Hey, Sheldon sent us all
an e-mail.

198
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,259
"Happy holidays from Texas."

199
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,927
And there's pictures.

200
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:46,155
Ah! Don't open them.
Do not open them.

201
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:50,965
Oh, come on.
Childbirth is a natural, beautiful--

202
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:54,129
Oh, it's like someone
sawed a cow in half.

203
00:09:56,296 --> 00:10:00,335
My father's a gynecologist,
I think I can handle it.

204
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,911
And, now I'm gay.

205
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:06,678
You know, I was thinking,

206
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,478
without Sheldon most of us
would have never met,

207
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,519
but Penny would still
live across from him.

208
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:13,453
And with Leonard out of the picture,

209
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,025
we all know what that would mean.

210
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:16,817
We do?

211
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,591
Hey, Sheldon.

212
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:23,167
Hello.

213
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,930
Doing laundry?

214
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,967
Of course I'm doing laundry.

215
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,669
Saturday night is laundry night,

216
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,179
and I'm in a laundry room, so...

217
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,044
I believe your inference is justified.

218
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,617
My inference is justified.

219
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:44,279
Sheldon, you are so funny.

220
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,449
Anyway, I need to do my laundry, too,

221
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:52,393
because these clothes are so dirty.

222
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,828
Almost as dirty as the dirty girl
who's wearing them.

223
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,167
Okay, that's enough.

224
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,830
-Disagree.
-Keep going.

225
00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:07,202
So, what do you think?

226
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:12,171
A tad asymmetrical,
but nothing to be concerned about.

227
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,718
Please, Sheldon. I need you.

228
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:19,087
To. .. what?

229
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,185
To take me.

230
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:24,227
I'm not taking you anywhere
till you put on a shirt.

231
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,265
Come on, Sheldon.
You and me right here.

232
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,925
Penny, for the thousandth time,

233
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:35,095
I'm saving myself
for someone special.

234
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:38,902
Perhaps a cute
bespectacled neuroscientist

235
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,876
with hair the color of mud.

236
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:45,080
I think I know how
to change your mind.

237
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,116
-That's enough.

238
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,582
I was okay with it.

239
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,426
How's it going, Sheldon?

240
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,427
Actually, much better.

241
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:01,063
Oh, good.
Is the baby born yet?

242
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:03,189
I don't know
I just got back.

243
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:04,300
Where'd you go?

244
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:07,303
My mother asked me
to get some towels.

245
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,373
I took advantage
of the vague request

246
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,601
and went to Bed, Bath & Beyond.

247
00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:18,138
Excuse me! I'm on the phone!

248
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:21,141
So rude.

249
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:27,214
Here's another one.
Penny, if it weren't for Sheldon,

250
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:31,728
you never would have met
comic book legend Stan Lee.

251
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,395
Great.

252
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:40,270
At least Leonard, Howard and I
would have always been friends.

253
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,000
Hey, how come you three never
got an apartment together?

254
00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:45,267
We talked about it,
but Howard was in

255
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:48,004
a pretty serious
relationship with his mom.

256
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,146
I lived with her to save money.

257
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,511
Yeah, you didn't have
to buy groceries

258
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,674
because you were breast-feeding.

259
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,350
So I guess if it weren't for me,

260
00:12:58,478 --> 00:12:59,650
you'd still be living with her, huh?

261
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,656
Not exactly.

262
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:02,851
What do you mean, not exactly?

263
00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:05,826
Well, things would be
a little different.

264
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:10,860
Howard, where is my lunch? I'm starving!

265
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:15,531
I know you're starving.
The neighbors know you're starving.

266
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:18,666
There's starving people in Africa
who know you're starving!

267
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:23,370
That's it?
There's not enough food!

268
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:27,211
Well, you cleaned out Earth!
I don't know what else to do!

269
00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:30,983
How is this any different?

270
00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:32,885
You didn't let me finish.

271
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,389
Here you go, Mother.

272
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,461
You're a good boy, Howard!

273
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:42,397
Such a good boy!

274
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,571
Walt, did she die
or did you kill her?

275
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:55,338
Tomato, tomahto.
The important thing is she's dead.

276
00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,975
Hey, so how come you two
didn't move in together?

277
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:01,711
This guy wanted
a place of his own

278
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,151
because he was sure he was
gonna be a ladies' man.

279
00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:07,752
Yeah, I was wrong.

280
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,556
But I do think you and I
would have had a great time.

281
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,426
Come on, Leonard, dinner.

282
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,533
Coming.

283
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:26,265
Hang on.

284
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,206
Why would I be fat?

285
00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:31,544
You'd have no girlfriend
to see you naked,

286
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:34,277
you'd try to fill the void
with food,

287
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:37,183
and I'm an enabler who once
deep-fried a pancake.

288
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,884
Why can't you be fat too?

289
00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:43,552
What do you want
to do for dessert?

290
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:49,098
I think there's still
half a cake from breakfast.

291
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:52,729
No, there's not.

292
00:14:58,464 --> 00:14:59,465
Hey, guys.

293
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,140
Stuart!

294
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,282
What are you doing?

295
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,146
I... (CLEARS THROAT)

296
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:10,482
...just wanted to be
in anyone's story.

297
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,622
Yeah, but why are you fat?

298
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,993
Because Leonard was fat.

299
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:22,989
Amy, what about you?

300
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:25,227
What do you think you'd be doing
if you never met Sheldon?

301
00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:27,326
It's hard to say,

302
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,598
my life would be so... different.

303
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,837
You can say "better."
Sheldon can't hear you.

304
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,078
I don't know.

305
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:39,313
I (SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY") I

306
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:51,689
I There's tears in the frosting I

307
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,095
I (CONTINUES SINGING) I

308
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,611
I'll stop now.

309
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,555
How's it going, Sheldon?

310
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:19,712
That's it.

311
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,147
The baby's here.

312
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:22,859
It's a boy.

313
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,689
Congrats.

314
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,388
Oh, thank you.

315
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,829
I wasn't sure I was
going to make it.

316
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:33,130
But my mother
gave me some ice chips,

317
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,399
my sister told me to breaths.

318
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:37,404
And I just thought
to myself "Sheldon,

319
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,567
if you can make it through
the Green Lantern movie,

320
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,474
you can make it through this. "

321
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,080
Well, good for you, buddy.

322
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,580
We'll let you get back in there.

323
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,412
No, no, I'm not
going back in there.

324
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,313
That baby is so irritating.

325
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:52,989
He has literally been crying
his entire life.

326
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,327
Oh, he's already taking
after Uncle Shelly.

327
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:01,488
-Come on, Sheldon, you should go.
-Why?

328
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:03,897
Well, you always
complain that you never

329
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,934
had an intelligent
role model growing up,

330
00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:07,765
and now you can
be one for your nephew.

331
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,109
All right, I'll go.

332
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,403
But from what I've seen,
his attention span

333
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,412
is as limited as his bladder control.

334
00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:21,113
You actually got him to do it.

335
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,050
Yeah, you keep saying how much
Sheldon has affected all of us,

336
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:26,417
but you've clearly
had an impact on him.

337
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:29,059
If that were true,
I wouldn't still be living alone.

338
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,292
Well, not exactly alone.

339
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,623
I do have a 50 pound sack of rice

340
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,562
with one of Sheldon's T-shirts on it.

341
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:42,104
I'm telling you, Sheldon cares
for you more than you think.

342
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,874
I wish I could believe you.

343
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,706
I also wish there wasn't a mouse
living in Rice Sheldon.

344
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,810
Hang on, I'm gonna give you a little
early Christmas present.

345
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:57,287
I'm gonna show you something,
but if you ever told Sheldon,

346
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,287
he'd probably never
speak to me again.

347
00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:01,322
So, if you want to tell him,
that's fine.

348
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:03,984
Look.

349
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,493
I don't understand.

350
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:10,566
He made you his screensaver.

351
00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:13,326
Oh.

352
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:15,563
Wow.

353
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,436
I had no idea.

354
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,833
He is so into me.

355
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,247
Wait, wait, where'd I go?

356
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:28,146
Oh, well, it's you, Swamp Thing,

357
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:31,187
Stephen Hawking, Spider-Man-
but, look, you're in the mix.

358
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:35,254
I am in the mix.
And I'm the hottest one.

359
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,187
Who's that?

360
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:40,263
-Oh, Madame Curie.
-That's fine, she's dead.

361
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,443
You okay?

362
00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:58,440
Just really glad you're back.

363
00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,639
Me, too.

364
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:03,149
I got a lot of TV to catch up on.

365
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,052
I missed you.

366
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:14,296
To quote Han Solo, "I know."

367
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,996
Did you miss me?

368
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:23,471
I would've preferred
to have you there with me.

369
00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:24,540
Oh...

370
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,408
Or instead of me.

371
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:31,813
Did you hold the baby?

372
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,884
-l did.
-And?

373
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,881
How did it make you feel?

374
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,580
Looking into the blank, innocent eyes

375
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:43,149
of a creature that couldn't begin to
comprehend anything I was saying?

376
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:45,825
Basically just another day
at the office.

377
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,268
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna ask her out.

378
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,876
Yeah, and chocolate milk is
gonna squirt out of my nipples.

379
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,012
Put up or shut up.
You make it, I'll drink it.

380
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:10,616
You guys need anything else?

381
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,848
Your phone number
and one more cheesecake.

382
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,283
I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend.

383
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:20,226
In fact, there he is now.

384
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,469
Ready to go, sweetheart?

385
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:32,075
Not until I get my kiss.