1
00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:04,790
MAN:
Advantage left-side competitor.
2
00:00:07,457 --> 00:00:08,770
Wow, you're really
good at this.
3
00:00:08,798 --> 00:00:11,720
Well, I have an extremely
low center of gravity.
4
00:00:12,427 --> 00:00:14,539
I'm like a pyramid.
5
00:00:17,936 --> 00:00:21,724
- How you doing over there?
- Oh, I hope it's just a sprain.
6
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:27,498
I cannot walk into that E.R.
with another video game injury.
7
00:00:27,934 --> 00:00:29,973
Hey, Sheldon, you
want to play next?
8
00:00:29,995 --> 00:00:32,933
Oh, I would, but
I'm on my way out.
9
00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:35,467
- Where?
- Texas.
10
00:00:36,515 --> 00:00:38,461
Right now? Why?
11
00:00:38,484 --> 00:00:40,227
- Is someone sick?
- Yes.
12
00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:43,830
My sister's uterus
came down with a baby.
13
00:00:44,548 --> 00:00:46,595
Oh, she's pregnant?
That's great.
14
00:00:46,626 --> 00:00:48,509
You're gone an uncle--
Uncle Sheldon.
15
00:00:48,541 --> 00:00:51,642
No, I will be Uncle Dr. Cooper.
16
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,449
How come you never said
she was pregnant?
17
00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:56,707
Well, I never told you about
my brother's kidney stone.
18
00:00:56,734 --> 00:01:00,078
You want to hear about everything that
comes out of my family's genitals?
19
00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:03,685
Well, congrats, and it's nice you're
gonna be there for your sister.
20
00:01:03,713 --> 00:01:06,562
Yes. I'm filling in for her
husband who's recovering
21
00:01:06,585 --> 00:01:08,945
from a horrible
motorcycle accident.
22
00:01:08,998 --> 00:01:10,904
Lucky duck.
23
00:01:11,524 --> 00:01:13,235
Wow, so, how long
will you be gone?
24
00:01:13,256 --> 00:01:15,577
Well, she's due tomorrow.
25
00:01:15,607 --> 00:01:19,728
Although it did take her six years
to finish high school, so who knows?
26
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,236
Can I give you a
ride to the airport?
27
00:01:21,268 --> 00:01:24,510
Oh, no, thank you, I don't
want to be an inconvenience.
28
00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:27,213
Chop-chop, Leonard. We
leave in ten minutes.
29
00:01:29,008 --> 00:01:32,446
♪ Our whole universe was
in a hot, dense state ♪
30
00:01:32,477 --> 00:01:36,377
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
31
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,549
♪ The Earth began to cool
32
00:01:37,579 --> 00:01:40,571
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
33
00:01:40,594 --> 00:01:42,532
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
34
00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:45,403
♪ Math, Science, History,
unveiling the mystery ♪
35
00:01:45,418 --> 00:01:47,472
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
36
00:01:47,495 --> 00:01:48,739
♪ Bang! ♪
37
00:01:48,773 --> 00:01:51,273
♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x11 ♪
The Cooper Extraction
Original Air Date on December 12, 2013
38
00:01:51,298 --> 00:01:53,798
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
39
00:01:54,575 --> 00:01:55,950
All right, here's the deal.
40
00:01:55,981 --> 00:01:59,169
Sheldon is gone, so the tree
decorating rules are out the window.
41
00:01:59,209 --> 00:02:04,497
Yeah, which means we don't have to use his
ridiculous ornament-spacing template.
42
00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:08,600
And I'm happy to report its kickstarter
campaign is holding strong at zero dollars.
43
00:02:08,625 --> 00:02:09,875
Ah.
44
00:02:10,013 --> 00:02:14,578
Wait, so Star Wars and Star Trek
characters can go on the same branch?
45
00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:17,804
I know, it's crazy. Welcome
to the Thunderdome, people!
46
00:02:17,830 --> 00:02:19,630
(all cheering)
47
00:02:20,264 --> 00:02:22,553
I've never done this before.
It's kind of fun.
48
00:02:22,574 --> 00:02:24,902
Yeah, if your mom could see her
little Bar Mitzvah boy right now,
49
00:02:24,932 --> 00:02:28,386
- she'd have a heart attack.
- Good idea, I'll take a picture.
50
00:02:32,890 --> 00:02:34,693
Honey, I'm a little strapped
for cash this year,
51
00:02:34,716 --> 00:02:38,060
so for Christmas I was
thinking of giving you...
52
00:02:38,314 --> 00:02:39,865
this.
53
00:02:41,259 --> 00:02:43,288
- I love it.
- Okay.
54
00:02:43,314 --> 00:02:45,481
But it is what you
got me last year.
55
00:02:46,024 --> 00:02:47,392
- Yeah.
- And last night.
56
00:02:47,420 --> 00:02:49,504
(laughs)
(knocking on door)
57
00:02:50,115 --> 00:02:52,370
- Hello.
- ALL: Hi, Stuart.
58
00:02:52,417 --> 00:02:54,886
Oh, good, I'm glad you guys
didn't wait for me to start.
59
00:02:54,903 --> 00:02:58,931
Although you said 7:00 and
it's-it's 7:00, but that's fine.
60
00:03:00,278 --> 00:03:01,411
(ringing)
61
00:03:01,445 --> 00:03:03,928
Oh, it's probably Sheldon.
62
00:03:05,116 --> 00:03:07,780
Hi, Sheldon. Everybody's
here, say hi.
63
00:03:07,824 --> 00:03:09,441
- Hi. - Hey.
- Hey, buddy.
64
00:03:09,459 --> 00:03:10,834
- Howdy.
- Hi.
65
00:03:10,936 --> 00:03:12,448
Hello.
66
00:03:14,472 --> 00:03:18,317
SHELDON: The second I go out of town you
throw a Christmas party without me?
67
00:03:18,352 --> 00:03:19,923
Yeah, kind of.
68
00:03:19,942 --> 00:03:22,923
That's so thoughtful.
You guys are the best.
69
00:03:24,333 --> 00:03:25,911
Hey, how's your sister?
70
00:03:25,946 --> 00:03:28,014
She went into labor an hour ago.
71
00:03:28,037 --> 00:03:30,209
That's wonderful.
So you're at the hospital?
72
00:03:30,237 --> 00:03:32,794
No, she chose to
have a home birth...
73
00:03:32,824 --> 00:03:37,531
because she wants to live in the Stone
Age and a cave wasn't available.
74
00:03:38,653 --> 00:03:41,567
You know, many people believe
that home births are better
75
00:03:41,592 --> 00:03:44,328
because the mother is in a
warm, comfortable environment
76
00:03:44,353 --> 00:03:46,541
where she can be
nurtured by loved ones.
77
00:03:46,563 --> 00:03:50,941
And turn the bedroom floor into
an amniotic Slip 'n Slide.
78
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,561
MARY:
Shelly, come on!
79
00:03:54,589 --> 00:03:58,560
Your sister's fully dilated and
she wants a nice family picture
80
00:03:58,583 --> 00:04:01,269
before there's blood everywhere!
81
00:04:01,747 --> 00:04:03,248
SHELDON: Oh, boy.
82
00:04:03,288 --> 00:04:06,678
I picked the wrong day to
wear my good robot T-shirt.
83
00:04:08,872 --> 00:04:12,239
If you were having Sheldon's baby would
you really want him in the room?
84
00:04:12,265 --> 00:04:14,624
Yeah, if he's in the room
when they're making the baby,
85
00:04:14,647 --> 00:04:16,759
I'll give you ten dollars.
86
00:04:18,076 --> 00:04:21,037
Hey, I brought over It's a Wonderful
Life if you guys want to watch it later.
87
00:04:21,056 --> 00:04:23,283
- Oh, I love that movie.
- I've never seen it.
88
00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:25,383
- Me neither.
- AMY: It's great.
89
00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:28,348
It's Christmastime and Jimmy
Stewart's really depressed
90
00:04:28,371 --> 00:04:30,231
and he's gonna jump off a
bridge and kill himself...
91
00:04:30,244 --> 00:04:32,567
Don't need to see it. Living it.
92
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:37,110
But then he gets to see what the world
would be like if he'd never been born.
93
00:04:37,133 --> 00:04:40,133
Hey, you ever imagine what that
would be like? Not being born?
94
00:04:40,169 --> 00:04:41,622
(knocking)
What do you think?
95
00:04:41,653 --> 00:04:43,137
(knocking)
What do you think?
96
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:45,324
(knocking)
What do you think?
97
00:04:47,467 --> 00:04:50,974
You make jokes about Sheldon,
but if it weren't for him,
98
00:04:51,014 --> 00:04:53,889
I don't think any of us would be
sitting in this room right now.
99
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:58,327
Really? Sheldon not being here is
the main reason I'm in this room.
100
00:04:59,781 --> 00:05:01,352
It's true.
101
00:05:01,365 --> 00:05:03,133
None of you would know me.
102
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,662
You wouldn't know Bernadette.
103
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,960
- You wouldn't be dating Penny.
- You don't know that.
104
00:05:06,975 --> 00:05:10,038
I've been going to the Cheesecake Factory
for years. I could have picked her up.
105
00:05:10,072 --> 00:05:12,818
(others laughing)
106
00:05:14,555 --> 00:05:16,436
Oh, you weren't joking.
107
00:05:16,802 --> 00:05:17,997
No.
108
00:05:18,166 --> 00:05:21,505
Okay, sweetie, let me tell you exactly
how that would have gone down.
109
00:05:24,332 --> 00:05:26,309
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna ask her out.
110
00:05:26,349 --> 00:05:29,248
I'm gonna squirt chocolate
milk out of my nipples.
111
00:05:31,501 --> 00:05:34,506
Sorry, I thought we're saying
things that are never gonna happen.
112
00:05:34,746 --> 00:05:36,840
Maybe this time
he's going to do it.
113
00:05:36,865 --> 00:05:39,103
Hope you're thirsty,
here it comes.
114
00:05:41,338 --> 00:05:42,721
Watch me.
115
00:05:43,964 --> 00:05:46,066
Hey, you guys ready to order
or you need a few minutes?
116
00:05:46,092 --> 00:05:49,370
- I, uh, ah, um, I...
- A few minutes it is.
117
00:05:50,256 --> 00:05:53,269
You didn't ask her out, but
that was a lot of sounds.
118
00:05:55,176 --> 00:05:58,957
- You guys are making me nervous.
- Fine, then go talk to her on your own.
119
00:05:59,381 --> 00:06:00,999
I will.
120
00:06:02,785 --> 00:06:04,299
(exhales)
121
00:06:07,981 --> 00:06:10,110
- Excuse me.
- Yeah?
122
00:06:10,543 --> 00:06:13,443
Hi, uh, um, I'm Leonard?
123
00:06:13,683 --> 00:06:15,965
Really? You don't sound so sure.
124
00:06:16,906 --> 00:06:19,424
No, I am he.
125
00:06:21,378 --> 00:06:23,472
Uh, any-anyway, um,
126
00:06:23,504 --> 00:06:28,207
there's been something I've wanted
to ask you for a long time. Um...
127
00:06:28,235 --> 00:06:29,704
- What's that?
- Eh, uh, well,
128
00:06:29,719 --> 00:06:32,195
I was wondering--
if you're not too busy--
129
00:06:32,231 --> 00:06:36,440
um, uh, if, if you'd
be interested in...
130
00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:40,455
...telling me where
the restroom is?
131
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:45,387
I think you're too late.
132
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:49,031
Come on, I would not
have peed my pants.
133
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,806
- She nailed it.
- Sounds about right.
134
00:06:53,787 --> 00:06:56,513
But, you forget, I did
ask you out in real life.
135
00:06:56,556 --> 00:06:58,939
Which couldn't have happened if you
didn't live across the hall from her,
136
00:06:58,970 --> 00:07:00,806
which couldn't have
happened without Sheldon.
137
00:07:00,828 --> 00:07:03,516
Same goes with you guys. If
Leonard wasn't with Penny,
138
00:07:03,542 --> 00:07:05,190
she never would have set you up.
139
00:07:05,223 --> 00:07:08,387
Doesn't matter. Bernadette still would've
been working at The Cheesecake Factory,
140
00:07:08,409 --> 00:07:11,789
and I still would've been
working this beefcake factory.
141
00:07:13,986 --> 00:07:17,276
- You would've been all over me.
- Well...
142
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:22,348
- Hey, Penny, can I take that table?
- Sure, why?
143
00:07:22,384 --> 00:07:24,470
The one in the
turtleneck is cute.
144
00:07:24,519 --> 00:07:28,954
Open wide, here comes
the happy train.
145
00:07:30,036 --> 00:07:34,159
Mm-hmm, chug-a
chug-a, yum, yum.
146
00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:37,177
Oh.
147
00:07:38,014 --> 00:07:39,595
Hang on.
148
00:07:39,841 --> 00:07:42,609
You got a... you got
a little something.
149
00:07:46,036 --> 00:07:47,653
Never mind.
150
00:07:49,270 --> 00:07:50,355
(laughing)
151
00:07:50,372 --> 00:07:53,940
Oh, man, that is so us.
152
00:07:57,724 --> 00:07:59,503
You know, maybe you and
I wouldn't be together,
153
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,248
but you wouldn't have
done so great yourself.
154
00:08:01,269 --> 00:08:05,403
- Why? - Because I know exactly the kind
of guy you would've ended up with.
155
00:08:07,637 --> 00:08:09,456
Hey, babe.
156
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:11,456
Hey. Did you remember
to pay the rent?
157
00:08:11,472 --> 00:08:14,468
Better. I used the money
to buy these magic beans.
158
00:08:15,691 --> 00:08:19,129
Hey, he may be an idiot, but at
least he didn't pee himself.
159
00:08:20,703 --> 00:08:22,490
Oh, hold on.
160
00:08:23,977 --> 00:08:26,190
Aw, babe, I peed myself.
161
00:08:28,043 --> 00:08:30,370
(gasps): Me, too.
162
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,367
The end.
163
00:08:40,735 --> 00:08:42,289
(ringing)
164
00:08:43,707 --> 00:08:46,721
Hi, Sheldon. Everything okay?
165
00:08:47,050 --> 00:08:48,863
No, it's not.
166
00:08:49,466 --> 00:08:51,301
I've seen things.
167
00:08:52,459 --> 00:08:54,342
Lady things.
168
00:08:56,435 --> 00:08:58,102
Listen to me.
169
00:08:58,159 --> 00:09:01,373
That is not the way
they usually look.
170
00:09:03,931 --> 00:09:05,369
Doesn't matter.
171
00:09:05,402 --> 00:09:07,988
This is no way to
make new humans.
172
00:09:08,032 --> 00:09:10,316
People coming out of people.
173
00:09:12,021 --> 00:09:14,356
It's some kind
of dirty magic show.
174
00:09:15,231 --> 00:09:19,568
MARY: Sheldon Lee Cooper. You get
back in this room right now.
175
00:09:19,606 --> 00:09:21,731
And bring a mop.
176
00:09:21,898 --> 00:09:23,360
Did you hear that?
177
00:09:23,374 --> 00:09:24,985
A mop.
178
00:09:25,019 --> 00:09:29,834
I have two PhDs yet somehow I'm the
janitor of my sister's birth canal.
179
00:09:35,871 --> 00:09:38,582
LEONARD: Hey, Sheldon
sent us all an e-mail.
180
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,728
- "Happy holidays from Texas."
- Aw.
181
00:09:40,743 --> 00:09:42,212
And there's pictures.
182
00:09:42,255 --> 00:09:45,205
Aah! Don't open them.
Do not open them.
183
00:09:45,595 --> 00:09:48,768
Oh, come on. Childbirth is
a natural, beautiful...
184
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:52,116
Oh, it's like someone
sawed a cow in half.
185
00:09:54,429 --> 00:09:58,215
My father's a gynecologist,
I think I can handle it.
186
00:09:58,952 --> 00:10:01,160
And, now, I'm gay.
187
00:10:03,918 --> 00:10:07,066
You know, I was thinking. Without
Sheldon, most of us would have never met,
188
00:10:07,094 --> 00:10:09,459
but Penny would still
live across from him.
189
00:10:10,046 --> 00:10:12,069
And with Leonard out
of the picture,
190
00:10:12,090 --> 00:10:14,059
we all know what
that would mean.
191
00:10:14,184 --> 00:10:15,598
We do?
192
00:10:19,071 --> 00:10:21,578
- Hey, Sheldon.
- Hello.
193
00:10:23,273 --> 00:10:25,264
Doing laundry?
194
00:10:29,907 --> 00:10:31,478
Of course I'm doing laundry.
195
00:10:31,484 --> 00:10:35,689
Saturday night is laundry night,
and I'm in a laundry room, so...
196
00:10:35,725 --> 00:10:37,609
I believe your inference
is justified.
197
00:10:37,690 --> 00:10:40,292
(laughs): Oh, my
inference is justified.
198
00:10:40,315 --> 00:10:43,081
Sheldon, you are so funny.
199
00:10:45,801 --> 00:10:48,069
Anyway, I need to
do my laundry, too,
200
00:10:48,084 --> 00:10:51,116
because these clothes
are so dirty.
201
00:10:51,439 --> 00:10:55,672
Almost as dirty as the dirty
girl who's wearing them.
202
00:10:57,269 --> 00:10:58,817
Okay, that's enough.
203
00:10:58,838 --> 00:11:01,381
- Disagree.
- Keep going. - More.
204
00:11:03,402 --> 00:11:06,014
So, what do you think?
205
00:11:06,972 --> 00:11:10,591
A tad asymmetrical, but nothing
to be concerned about.
206
00:11:12,592 --> 00:11:14,789
Please, Sheldon. I need you.
207
00:11:14,903 --> 00:11:17,107
To... what?
208
00:11:18,468 --> 00:11:19,844
To take me.
209
00:11:19,875 --> 00:11:22,945
I'm not taking you anywhere
till you put on a shirt.
210
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,158
Come on, Sheldon.
You and me right here.
211
00:11:28,183 --> 00:11:30,613
Penny, for the thousandth time,
212
00:11:30,643 --> 00:11:33,277
I'm saving myself
for someone special.
213
00:11:33,296 --> 00:11:39,903
Perhaps a cute bespectacled neuroscientist
with hair the color of mud.
214
00:11:41,411 --> 00:11:44,045
I think I know how
to change your mind.
215
00:11:44,926 --> 00:11:46,754
- That's enough.
- Ew...
216
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,153
I was okay with it.
217
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:52,482
(ringing)
218
00:11:54,264 --> 00:11:55,936
How's it going, Sheldon?
219
00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:57,670
Actually, much better.
220
00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:59,606
Oh, good. Is the baby born yet?
221
00:11:59,629 --> 00:12:01,699
I don't know. I just got back.
222
00:12:01,739 --> 00:12:02,805
Where'd you go?
223
00:12:02,837 --> 00:12:05,549
My mother asked me
to get some towels.
224
00:12:05,575 --> 00:12:09,998
I took advantage of the vague request
and went to Bed, Bath & Beyond.
225
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,271
(Missy screams)
226
00:12:13,597 --> 00:12:16,410
Excuse me! I'm on the phone!
227
00:12:18,192 --> 00:12:19,705
So rude.
228
00:12:22,487 --> 00:12:25,878
Here's another one. Penny,
if it weren't for Sheldon,
229
00:12:25,898 --> 00:12:30,644
you never would have met
comic book legend Stan Lee.
230
00:12:31,652 --> 00:12:33,108
Great.
231
00:12:35,962 --> 00:12:39,230
At least Leonard, Howard and I
would have always been friends.
232
00:12:39,245 --> 00:12:41,503
Hey, how come you three never
got an apartment together?
233
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:46,266
We talked about it, but Howard was in a
pretty serious relationship with his mom.
234
00:12:47,596 --> 00:12:49,550
I lived with her to save money.
235
00:12:49,565 --> 00:12:51,877
Yeah, you didn't have to buy groceries
'cause you were breast-feeding.
236
00:12:51,890 --> 00:12:53,501
(laughs)
237
00:12:55,049 --> 00:12:58,299
Aw, so I guess if it weren't for me,
you'd still be living with her, huh?
238
00:12:58,323 --> 00:12:59,573
Not exactly.
239
00:12:59,598 --> 00:13:01,518
What do you mean, "not exactly"?
240
00:13:01,558 --> 00:13:04,793
Well, things would be
a little different.
241
00:13:05,031 --> 00:13:09,487
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Howard,
where's my lunch?! I'm starving!
242
00:13:10,592 --> 00:13:13,881
I know you're starving. The
neighbors know you're starving.
243
00:13:13,901 --> 00:13:17,045
There's starving people in
Africa who know you're starving!
244
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:21,970
That's it?! There's
not enough food!
245
00:13:21,993 --> 00:13:25,754
Well, you cleaned out Earth!
I don't know what else to do!
246
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:29,542
How is this any different?
247
00:13:29,644 --> 00:13:31,396
You didn't let me finish.
248
00:13:32,137 --> 00:13:33,741
Here you go, Mother.
249
00:13:34,357 --> 00:13:37,224
You're a good boy, Howard!
250
00:13:37,268 --> 00:13:41,053
Such a good boy!
251
00:13:41,078 --> 00:13:43,714
(maniacal cackling)
252
00:13:44,989 --> 00:13:48,122
Wait-- did she die
or did you kill her?
253
00:13:50,666 --> 00:13:54,151
Eh, tomato, tomahto. The
important thing is she's dead.
254
00:13:56,151 --> 00:13:58,714
Hey, so how come you two
didn't move in together?
255
00:13:58,729 --> 00:14:00,349
This guy wanted a
place of his own
256
00:14:00,374 --> 00:14:02,684
because he was sure he was
gonna be a ladies' man.
257
00:14:03,999 --> 00:14:05,717
Yeah, I was wrong.
258
00:14:07,355 --> 00:14:09,653
But I do think you and I
would have had a great time.
259
00:14:09,692 --> 00:14:12,646
Come on, Leonard, dinner.
260
00:14:12,916 --> 00:14:14,602
Coming.
261
00:14:23,437 --> 00:14:24,637
LEONARD:
Hang on.
262
00:14:24,671 --> 00:14:26,543
Why would I be fat?
263
00:14:27,424 --> 00:14:29,853
You'd have no girlfriend
to see you naked,
264
00:14:29,872 --> 00:14:32,388
you'd try to fill
the void with food,
265
00:14:32,399 --> 00:14:35,402
and I'm an enabler who
once deep-fried a pancake.
266
00:14:36,567 --> 00:14:38,779
Why can't you be fat, too?
267
00:14:40,021 --> 00:14:42,261
What do you want
to do for dessert?
268
00:14:44,768 --> 00:14:47,797
I think there's still half
a cake from breakfast.
269
00:14:49,641 --> 00:14:51,558
No, there's not.
270
00:14:56,659 --> 00:14:58,413
Hey, guys.
271
00:14:59,856 --> 00:15:01,718
- Stuart.
- Stuart.
272
00:15:02,453 --> 00:15:03,844
What are you doing?
273
00:15:03,874 --> 00:15:05,548
I... (clears throat)
274
00:15:06,215 --> 00:15:09,333
just wanted to be
in anyone's story.
275
00:15:11,124 --> 00:15:13,491
Yeah, but why are you fat?
276
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:17,494
'Cause Leonard was fat.
277
00:15:20,116 --> 00:15:21,257
Amy, what about you?
278
00:15:21,291 --> 00:15:23,682
What do you think you'd be doing
if you never met Sheldon?
279
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,720
It's hard to say,
280
00:15:25,769 --> 00:15:28,316
my life would be so...
different.
281
00:15:28,419 --> 00:15:31,503
You can say "better."
Sheldon can't hear you.
282
00:15:32,864 --> 00:15:34,396
I don't know.
283
00:15:35,347 --> 00:15:39,472
♪ Happy birthday to me
284
00:15:40,171 --> 00:15:44,207
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
285
00:15:45,562 --> 00:15:50,153
♪ There's tears
in the frosting ♪
286
00:15:56,505 --> 00:16:00,987
♪ Happy birthday to me.
287
00:16:02,158 --> 00:16:04,192
(honks)
288
00:16:10,038 --> 00:16:11,850
I'll stop now.
289
00:16:12,661 --> 00:16:14,516
(ringing)
290
00:16:15,062 --> 00:16:16,828
How's it going, Sheldon?
291
00:16:17,023 --> 00:16:20,116
That's it. The baby's here.
292
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:21,212
It's a boy.
293
00:16:21,232 --> 00:16:23,248
- Congrats.
- Aw. - Yay.
294
00:16:23,268 --> 00:16:25,260
Oh, thank you.
295
00:16:25,299 --> 00:16:27,468
I wasn't sure I was
gonna to make it.
296
00:16:28,667 --> 00:16:31,760
But my mother gave
me some ice chips,
297
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,573
my sister told me to breathe.
298
00:16:33,608 --> 00:16:35,756
And I just thought
to myself, "Sheldon,
299
00:16:35,779 --> 00:16:37,884
"if you can make it through
the Green Lantern movie,
300
00:16:37,908 --> 00:16:40,057
you can make it through this."
301
00:16:41,607 --> 00:16:43,912
Well, good for you, buddy. We'll
let you get back in there.
302
00:16:43,944 --> 00:16:48,094
Oh no, no, I'm not going back in there.
That baby is so irritating.
303
00:16:48,396 --> 00:16:51,412
He has literally been
crying his entire life.
304
00:16:52,937 --> 00:16:56,103
Aw, he's already taking
after Uncle Shelly.
305
00:16:57,334 --> 00:16:59,154
Come on, Sheldon, you should go.
306
00:16:59,169 --> 00:17:00,544
Why?
307
00:17:00,551 --> 00:17:04,395
Well, you always complain that you never
had an intelligent role model growing up,
308
00:17:04,425 --> 00:17:06,769
and now you can be
one for your nephew.
309
00:17:08,459 --> 00:17:10,636
Ugh, all right, I'll go.
310
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:15,896
But from what I've seen, his attention
span is as limited as his bladder control.
311
00:17:17,778 --> 00:17:19,795
You actually got him to do it.
312
00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:23,041
Yeah, you keep saying how much
Sheldon has affected all of us, but
313
00:17:23,086 --> 00:17:24,578
you've clearly had
an impact on him.
314
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:25,524
(sighs)
315
00:17:25,549 --> 00:17:28,119
If that were true, I wouldn't
still be living alone.
316
00:17:28,144 --> 00:17:31,703
Well, not exactly alone. I do
have a 50 pound sack of rice
317
00:17:31,723 --> 00:17:34,032
with one of Sheldon's
T-shirts on it.
318
00:17:37,505 --> 00:17:40,708
I'm telling you, Sheldon cares
for you more than you think.
319
00:17:40,876 --> 00:17:42,915
I wish I could believe you.
320
00:17:42,952 --> 00:17:45,940
I also wish there wasn't a
mouse living in Rice Sheldon.
321
00:17:48,790 --> 00:17:52,436
Hang on, I'm gonna give you a
little early Christmas present.
322
00:17:52,921 --> 00:17:54,288
I'm gonna show you something,
323
00:17:54,313 --> 00:17:57,336
but if you ever told Sheldon he'd
probably never speak to me again.
324
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,706
So, if you want to
tell him, that's fine.
325
00:18:01,273 --> 00:18:02,725
Look.
326
00:18:05,439 --> 00:18:07,174
I don't understand.
327
00:18:07,202 --> 00:18:09,419
He made you his screensaver.
328
00:18:10,638 --> 00:18:12,396
- Oh.
- (chuckles)
329
00:18:12,433 --> 00:18:13,847
Wow.
330
00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:16,692
I had no idea.
331
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,309
He is so into me.
332
00:18:22,024 --> 00:18:23,868
Wait, wait, where'd I go?
333
00:18:23,882 --> 00:18:27,708
Oh, well, it's you, Swamp Thing,
Stephen Hawking, Spider-Man...
334
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:29,829
but, look, you're in the mix.
335
00:18:30,604 --> 00:18:33,869
I am in the mix. And
I'm the hottest one.
336
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:35,602
Who's that?
337
00:18:35,644 --> 00:18:38,828
- LEONARD: Oh, Madame Curie.
- That's fine, she's dead.
338
00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:54,234
You okay?
339
00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:56,458
Just really glad you're back.
340
00:18:56,689 --> 00:18:57,943
Me, too.
341
00:18:57,974 --> 00:18:59,400
(chuckles)
342
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:02,002
I got a lot of TV
to catch up on.
343
00:19:07,766 --> 00:19:09,720
I missed you.
344
00:19:10,070 --> 00:19:13,239
To quote Han Solo, "I know""
345
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:18,787
Did you miss me?
346
00:19:19,052 --> 00:19:21,636
I would've preferred to
have you there with me.
347
00:19:21,685 --> 00:19:23,240
Oh.
348
00:19:23,293 --> 00:19:25,045
Or instead of me.
349
00:19:28,256 --> 00:19:31,303
- Did you hold the baby?
- I did.
350
00:19:31,329 --> 00:19:32,875
And?
351
00:19:32,894 --> 00:19:35,277
How did it make you feel?
352
00:19:35,497 --> 00:19:37,708
Looking into the
blank, innocent eyes
353
00:19:37,731 --> 00:19:41,585
of a creature that couldn't begin to
comprehend anything I was saying?
354
00:19:42,192 --> 00:19:44,912
Basically just another
day at the office.
355
00:19:54,210 --> 00:19:56,938
LEONARD: I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna ask her out.
356
00:19:59,557 --> 00:20:02,501
Yeah, and chocolate milk is
gonna squirt out of my nipples.
357
00:20:03,418 --> 00:20:06,323
Put up or shut up. You
make it, I'll drink it.
358
00:20:11,157 --> 00:20:12,275
You guys need anything else?
359
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,155
Uh, your phone number and
one more cheesecake.
360
00:20:17,623 --> 00:20:19,689
I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend.
361
00:20:20,197 --> 00:20:22,475
In fact, there he is now.
362
00:20:31,084 --> 00:20:34,242
- Ready to go, sweetheart?
- Not until I get my kiss.
363
00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:35,624
(kisses)
364
00:20:35,663 --> 00:20:37,746
(giggles)
365
00:20:47,391 --> 00:20:51,439
♪
366
00:20:53,203 --> 00:20:54,809
(sighs)
367
00:20:55,874 --> 00:21:00,874
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther