1 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,821 This is nice, that we all get to eat together. 2 00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:20,597 Absolutely. 3 00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:30,837 Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation? 4 00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:35,208 We can, but thanks to Steve Jobs, we don't have to. 5 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,616 Guys. Guys, you're never gonna believe this. 6 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,945 -What happened? -I just got a part on a TV show! 7 00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:42,451 -That's great! -Congratulations! 8 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:44,850 -Guys! -Oh, yeah! 9 00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:48,391 -Yay, Penny! -What's the show? 10 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:53,020 NCII, or, you know, NCSTD-- 11 00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:54,722 I don't know, it's... 12 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,528 It's the one with all the letters and I'm gonna be on it! 13 00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:59,466 -That's amazing! -Yeah. 14 00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:01,970 -What's your part? -I play a customer in a diner 15 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:03,870 and I flirt with Mark Harmon. 16 00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:07,205 Ooh, Mark Harmon, he's a dreamboat. 17 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,112 -So it's just flirting? -Well, yeah. Why? 18 00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:12,944 No reason. I just think it's sexier 19 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:14,608 when things are left to the imagination. 20 00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,248 He's wrong. 21 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,120 I (THEME SONG) I 22 00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:47,808 So I read a study that says a man with a dog 23 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:50,285 is three times more likely to get a woman's phone number. 24 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,424 Is it true even when the man lets his dog 25 00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:54,923 lick peanut butter off his tongue? 26 00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:57,289 I don't see why not. 27 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,131 If you're really desperate to meet women 28 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,358 and like having food eaten out of your mouth, 29 00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:04,502 I could set you up with my mom. 30 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,668 Why is that funny? 31 00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,805 That's just unhygienic. 32 00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:14,706 -It's a joke. -I don't think so. 33 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,612 I believe that a joke is a brief oral narrative 34 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:21,048 with a climactic humorous twist. 35 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:24,155 For example, Wolowitz's mother is so fat 36 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,382 that she decided to go on a diet, 37 00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:29,356 or exercise, or both. 38 00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:36,963 See? The twist is that people don't usually change. 39 00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,636 Well, they don't. 40 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:45,709 Hey, guys, don't forget, my episode's on TV tomorrow night. 41 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,174 -We'll be there. -Can we bring anything? 42 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,644 Oh, that's so sweet of you, but I was gonna steal food from here. 43 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:52,215 You know, my treat. 44 00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:57,382 Wait, if Howard's mother is coming, then you should also steal marbles. 45 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:03,990 Because she's obese, and hippos are obese, 46 00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:08,031 and in the popular board game Hungry Hungry Hippos, they eat marbles. 47 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:15,372 Maybe I need to dumb these down for you. 48 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:21,736 -Leonard, do you think I'm funny? -No. 49 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:28,442 -Do you? -I think I'm hysterical. 50 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,883 I take it back. That was funny. 51 00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:37,725 The philosopher Henri Bergson says it's funny 52 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,626 when a human being behaves like an object. 53 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:44,132 I bet that bit killed at The Chuckle Hut. 54 00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:49,202 Oh, he didn't perform stand-up comedy, he was a philosopher. 55 00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:54,135 You know, I think were zeroing in on your problem. 56 00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,972 Perhaps I'll spend some time 57 00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,447 developing a unified theory of comedy, 58 00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:03,213 which will allow me to elicit laughter from anyone at any time. 59 00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:06,755 Unless they're German, 'cause that's a tough crowd. 60 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,259 Are you set on people laughing with you? 61 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:14,228 'Cause if you're cool with at you... 62 00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:22,332 I don't get it. 63 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,505 Raj, when you said you were gonna bring a date 64 00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:28,009 to watch Penny's thing tonight, I didn't think you meant Stuart. 65 00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:35,411 Really? I never for a second thought it'd be anything else. 66 00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:38,078 I almost met someone last night, but I blew it. 67 00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:41,317 I was walking Cinnamon and this girl introduced herself, 68 00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:44,257 but she was so cute I panicked and said, 69 00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:46,158 "Wouldn't it be easier if instead of talking 70 00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:48,094 we could just sniff each other's butts?" 71 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:52,159 Well, Stuart's cute in his own way. 72 00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:55,534 When I was a baby, my mother called me her little possum. 73 00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:59,336 -Are possums cute? -Not at all. 74 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:03,378 If you're so intimidated by talking to attractive girls, 75 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:06,279 maybe you should practice by talking to regular people. 76 00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:09,318 You mean like fatties and uggos? 77 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:12,781 Or maybe just stop talking. 78 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:17,190 I'm serious. Go to the mall, talk to anybody, practice. 79 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:18,954 That way, when you eventually do talk to a cute girl, 80 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:22,896 -it won't be so scary. -Or just keep dating the possum. 81 00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,704 Parsa doesn't have those kind of resources. 82 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,343 No, and that is why he had Erin Pace rewire it... 83 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,500 I'm so proud of you. 84 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,408 We haven't even gotten to my scene yet. 85 00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,845 I know, but you're going to be a TV star and you haven't left me yet. 86 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,711 That takes guts. 87 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,151 I don't know about you, but I'm very uncomfortable with all this. 88 00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:47,258 -Why? -I've never seen this show before 89 00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:49,917 and now I'm starting with episode 246? 90 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,157 It's unnatural. 91 00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:58,531 Just think of the first 245 as the prequel. 92 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,501 All right. 93 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,606 Okay, shh. Guys, guys, this is it. 94 00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,674 I guess its you and me, kid. 95 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,104 -What are you doing? -I'm trying to make peace. 96 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,441 -We're good. -Good. 97 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:13,346 -Are you kidding me? -What's wrong? 98 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:16,920 Well, the diner scene. Where's my diner scene? 99 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,956 Don't ask me. Until I see the prequel, I'm lost. 100 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:23,123 No, there was supposed to be a big scene with me and Mark Harmon, 101 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,092 but it's... gone. 102 00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:28,392 -What happened? -They must've cut it. 103 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,933 Oh, Penny. 104 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,093 I'm... I'm sorry. 105 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:34,762 -That stinks. -I'm sure you were great. 106 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,568 This doesn't make any sense. I mean, I... 107 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,802 I thought I did a really good job, l... 108 00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:43,872 Excuse me. 109 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,817 I've been studying how to make people laugh. 110 00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:59,729 They say that comedy is tragedy plus time. 111 00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:03,491 -Let's tickle some ribs. -No! 112 00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:09,831 No, Dad, I don't think they cut me out of the show 113 00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,237 because I was too pretty. 114 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:17,905 No, I don't need you to come out and kick Mark Harmon's ass. 115 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,816 Daddy, I gotta go. I love you. Bye. 116 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,091 -How you doing? -(GROANS) This is such a disaster. 117 00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,523 My parents had all my relatives over. 118 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,289 They got one of those six-foot sandwiches, 119 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,524 and got my brother a day pass out of rehab and... 120 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:40,494 ...now he's missing and the sandwich is missing, and... 121 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:45,006 They're probably in Mexico by now. So humiliating. 122 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:48,612 You still got the part. That's a huge accomplishment. 123 00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:49,838 But this was supposed to be my break, okay? 124 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,209 People were gonna see me in this show 125 00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,441 and it was gonna lead to bigger things. 126 00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:55,449 More auditions, more parts. Now none of that's gonna happen. 127 00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:58,350 Honey, you only had three lines. That wasn't gonna happen anyway. 128 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,526 Unbelievable. -Oh, come on. 129 00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:08,063 -That's not what I meant. -Then what did you mean? 130 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:11,725 I don't-- You know, words don't always have to mean things. 131 00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:14,462 I think you meant that you don't believe in me. 132 00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:17,870 Nope. Uh-uh. I might not know what I meant, 133 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,738 but I know that I didn't mean that. 134 00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:22,004 Not this guy. Oh, no way. 135 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,980 I want you, right now, to give me your 100 percent honest opinion. 136 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:29,848 Do you think I have what it takes to really make it as an actress? 137 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,580 -Yes. -So you think I'll be on TV 138 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,315 and in movies and win awards. 139 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,016 -Honestly? -Yes, honestly. 140 00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:40,053 -I don't. -How could you say that? 141 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:43,201 I don't know-- I got all confused when you said "honestly." 142 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,926 Oh! 143 00:08:46,993 --> 00:08:49,269 Look, do I think that you are talented 144 00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,670 and that you are beautiful? Of course I do. 145 00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:54,004 But isn't Los Angeles full of actresses 146 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:57,614 who are just as talented, just as beautiful? 147 00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,081 Look, we'll come back to that. 148 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,776 No, please. Don't stop, go on. 149 00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:04,217 Tell me how I'm gonna be a waitress for the rest of my life. 150 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:08,086 That is not what I said. Look, I think you're really good. 151 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,955 I truly do. 152 00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,596 But this is an incredibly hard thing that you're shooting for. 153 00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:16,029 I mean, the odds of anyone becoming a successful actor 154 00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:19,932 -are like a million to one. -Wow, thank you. 155 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:29,771 Should've let Sheldon come. 156 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,642 This is interesting. 157 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:39,313 Apparently, a key component in some forms of humor 158 00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:43,086 -is the element of surprise. -Well, that makes sense. 159 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,593 The prefrontal cortex is responsible 160 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,663 for planning and anticipation, 161 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,994 -and patients with brain lesions-- -Brain lesions! 162 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,310 Sheldon, you scared me. That wasn't funny. 163 00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:02,504 Or maybe you have a stick up your prefrontal cortex. 164 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:07,850 Okay, the notion that you can read a few books and come up 165 00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:10,613 with a definitive theory of comedy is absurd. 166 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:14,816 I mean, humor is a complex neurological... 167 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:22,526 -Okay, that's pretty good. Excellent. 168 00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:33,800 -How about her? -No! No pretty girls! 169 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,708 The point is to talk to regular people 170 00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,473 and work our way up to pretty girls. 171 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,048 Fine. 172 00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:43,044 How about that old lady with the walker? 173 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:47,521 That depends. On any level, do you think she's hot? 174 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,726 We'll find somebody else. 175 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,361 Kumquat? 176 00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,361 I guess. 177 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,466 Ointment? 178 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,734 Sure. 179 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:10,137 Now, would you say ointment 180 00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:14,752 is more, equal to, or less funny than kumquat? 181 00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:19,920 I don't think I want to go out with you anymore. 182 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:24,260 Would you please stop joking around? I'm trying to figure this out. 183 00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:27,193 Sheldon, how many words are you gonna go through? 184 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,923 All of them. 185 00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:33,760 You didn't get your part cut. 186 00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:38,739 And you didn't get your part cut. 187 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,775 Yep, bunch of old guys rocking out in a band, 188 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:46,349 all with erectile dysfunction, you didn't get your part cut! 189 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,189 Hey. Can we talk? 190 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:55,849 We can, but the part of Penny might get cut. 191 00:11:58,117 --> 00:12:00,119 That was really crappy of me. 192 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:04,632 What you're trying to do is hard, but people do make it, 193 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:08,204 and I really do believe you could be one of them. 194 00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:10,967 Thank you. 195 00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:14,942 And... to show you how much I believe in you, 196 00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:17,741 I kind of got you an audition. 197 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,474 Are you serious? For what? 198 00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:21,744 -The new Star Wars movie. -What?! 199 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:25,253 -How did you manage that? -There's this thing online, 200 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:28,483 you put yourself on tape and just send it in, anyone can do it. 201 00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,824 Come on, Leonard, this is just a PR stunt. 202 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:36,092 So? Even if it is, you have a huge advantage 203 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,791 because you're an actual actress. 204 00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:40,631 Most of the people doing this are just weirdoes and nerds. 205 00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:45,266 Wolowitz sent his in two days ago. 206 00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:49,279 -Really, let it go. -Look, maybe it is a long shot, 207 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,506 but sometimes long shots happen. 208 00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:55,141 Luke Skywalker was only given one chance to destroy the Death Star. 209 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,811 He had to get a torpedo into an exhaust port 210 00:12:57,977 --> 00:13:01,447 that was only two meters wide, but with the help of The Force, he-- 211 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,652 Wow, I can feel you hating me right now. 212 00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:11,130 How about that lady in the sweat suit, speed-walking? 213 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,794 Yeah, she seems friendly and easy to... 214 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,701 Never mind, she's gone. 215 00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:20,376 Maybe talking to people is too hard. 216 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:25,382 We could go over to that department store, practice on the mannequins. 217 00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,381 I don't know. They're dressed very stylishly. 218 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,611 They're probably stuck-up. 219 00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:33,490 This is ridiculous. 220 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:37,822 The next person that walks by, no matter who it is, they're the one. 221 00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,898 We're gonna die here. 222 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,732 -Hello. -Hey. 223 00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:51,364 -Where's Sheldon? -He's home trying to use science 224 00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,238 to determine the basis of humor. 225 00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,470 -That's interesting. -It's exhausting. 226 00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,171 Do you have any idea how hard it is 227 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,544 to laugh at a knock-knock joke that starts with, 228 00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,083 "Knock-knock-knock, Amy, knock-knock-knock, Amy, 229 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,878 knock-knock-knock, Amy"? 230 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:05,181 If you want him to stop, 231 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,019 sometimes the easiest thing to do is just fake a laugh. 232 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,320 Fake a laugh? 233 00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:17,030 -Do you ever do that with me? -No, of course not. 234 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,500 Well, I'd be able to tell anyway. 235 00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,866 I don't think you would. 236 00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,338 Please, I've made plenty of girls laugh, 237 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,738 sometimes just by asking them out. 238 00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:01,578 Yeah? Well, I fake my orgasms. 239 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:08,913 Yes, how much for a hundred long-stemmed, red roses? 240 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,611 Really? 241 00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:13,121 How much for three? 242 00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:18,428 -Hey. -Yeah, I'll call you back. 243 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,422 Look, I know you were just trying to help 244 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,899 with your Star Wars thing. I didn't mean to call it idiotic. 245 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,266 Well, I don't think you called it idiotic. 246 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:31,135 Oh. Sorry, I meant to. 247 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:38,681 Anyway... I was just upset with myself. I wasn't mad at you. 248 00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:41,978 I just feel like everything is falling apart. 249 00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,644 -Come on. It's okay. -No, it's not okay! 250 00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:48,190 Look at me, okay? I took a temp job as a waitress forever ago, 251 00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:51,123 and I'm still doing it. I can't quit, because guess what? 252 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,524 I can't do anything else. 253 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:57,191 And I finally get my big break, and it goes away! I'm such a mess. 254 00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:58,858 -No, you're not. -Really? 255 00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:00,197 'Cause this morning at Starbucks, 256 00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:03,499 a pair of old underwear fell out cf my pant leg! 257 00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:08,338 And it wasn't the only one in there. 258 00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:13,540 Okay, listen to me, this is just a minor setback. 259 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:16,312 No, it's not, okay? I've been out here for, like, ten years! 260 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:19,888 -I've nothing to show for it! -Well, you have me. 261 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:23,387 You're right. 262 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,489 I do have you. 263 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:27,957 Mmm. 264 00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:31,061 Let's get married. 265 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,060 What? 266 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,209 Whoo. 267 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:44,371 Leonard Hofstadter, will you marry me? 268 00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,547 Um... 269 00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:52,488 Did you seriously just say, "Um"? 270 00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:56,555 Look, you know I love you, 271 00:16:56,716 --> 00:17:00,163 but you're... you're drunk and sad and feeling lost-- 272 00:17:00,319 --> 00:17:02,993 Okay, so you don't want to marry me?! 273 00:17:03,155 --> 00:17:05,032 -That is not what I said. -No, forget it! I take it back! 274 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:09,105 -Offer's off the table! -Who's in the mood to laugh?! 275 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,668 Really not a good time. 276 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,403 But I used science to construct the perfect joke. 277 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,104 -I'm gonna go. -Penny, don't. 278 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,272 No, no, I just need to be alone. 279 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:27,624 So, a sandwich, a rabbi and yo mama walk into a bar. 280 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,216 -Where are you going? -To my room. 281 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,954 -Should I follow you? -No. 282 00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,395 -Leonard, wait. -What? 283 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,593 I forgot to tell you the sandwich is promiscuous. 284 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:53,042 How about those guys on that bench over there? They look pathetic. 285 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,152 I bet we could talk to them. 286 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,310 That's a mirror. 287 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,620 Oh, yeah. 288 00:18:02,481 --> 00:18:04,256 Hey, fellas, mall's closing. 289 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,590 -Sorry. -Yeah. Good night. 290 00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,127 -Excuse me. -Yeah? 291 00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:15,169 Do you like being a mall security guard? 292 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:20,167 -lt's all right. -Okay, nice talking to you. 293 00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:26,777 Smooth! 294 00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:40,320 -Can't sleep? -No. 295 00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,430 Would you like to talk about it? 296 00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:51,670 Penny proposed, and I didn't say yes. 297 00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:58,975 -Why not? -That's a good question. 298 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:03,384 Does that mean the relationship is over? 299 00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,447 I don't know. 300 00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:08,953 Why don't you ask her? 301 00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:15,028 Because I'm afraid to know the answer. 302 00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:23,235 Wel... I'm sorry. 303 00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:29,744 That's it? You're not gonna make some dumb joke 304 00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:31,711 or some inappropriate comment? 305 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:33,407 No. 306 00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:38,818 You're my friend, and... I'm sorry. 307 00:19:44,383 --> 00:19:47,421 Did you just put a "kick me" sign on my back? 308 00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:55,205 No. 309 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,602 That wouldn't be funny at all. 310 00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:12,682 Star Wars audition, take ons. 311 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:18,453 Starring Howard Joel Wolowitz, real-life astronaut. 312 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,959 Vader is here, 313 00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:29,800 now, on this moon. 314 00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,600 I felt his presence. 315 00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,973 He's come for me. He can feel when I'm near-- 316 00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,306 How many times do I have to tell you 317 00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:39,245 to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?! 318 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:43,944 -I'm in the middle of something! -So am I! 319 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,551 I (THEME MUSIC) I