1
00:00:02,462 --> 00:00:06,433
Andy got back from London two days ago
and he still has jet lag.
2
00:00:06,553 --> 00:00:07,820
It's really annoying.
3
00:00:07,854 --> 00:00:09,411
We're on totally different
schedules.
4
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:12,091
Last night he mowed the lawn
at 2:00 in the morning.
5
00:00:12,211 --> 00:00:14,777
Andy!
Andy!
6
00:00:14,828 --> 00:00:16,879
- Get me a beer?
- All right.
7
00:00:16,913 --> 00:00:17,863
As soon as I wake up,
8
00:00:17,898 --> 00:00:19,896
he goes down.
Hard.
9
00:00:20,206 --> 00:00:21,867
This has to stop!
10
00:00:21,901 --> 00:00:23,869
Babe, wake up.
11
00:00:23,887 --> 00:00:26,689
That's my spaghetti, Chewbacca.
12
00:00:26,723 --> 00:00:27,656
Babe!
13
00:00:29,783 --> 00:00:32,301
You hungry, Champion?
14
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:33,636
Oh, my God.
15
00:00:33,670 --> 00:00:35,104
Are you kidding me?
16
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,944
Hey. Oh, man,
I fell asleep again.
17
00:00:41,979 --> 00:00:43,613
Andy, you have got to stay up
18
00:00:43,664 --> 00:00:45,047
and get on a regular schedule.
19
00:00:45,082 --> 00:00:48,351
Were you about to spray me
with the hose inside the house?
20
00:00:48,402 --> 00:00:51,170
- Yeah.
- I kinda want you to do it now.
21
00:00:51,204 --> 00:00:53,256
- Okay.
- Aah! Aah!
22
00:00:53,307 --> 00:00:54,724
Aaahhh!
23
00:00:54,758 --> 00:00:57,693
No, no, no, no, no, no!
24
00:01:13,097 --> 00:01:20,141
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
25
00:01:21,512 --> 00:01:24,136
Okay, just a reminder, guys,
today is Leslie's last day
26
00:01:24,154 --> 00:01:25,655
as a city councilor,
27
00:01:25,706 --> 00:01:27,757
so everyone be extra supportive.
28
00:01:27,791 --> 00:01:28,758
Already done.
29
00:01:28,809 --> 00:01:30,593
When she walked past me
this morning,
30
00:01:30,644 --> 00:01:33,145
I gave her a kind nod.
31
00:01:33,163 --> 00:01:34,547
Heartwarming.
32
00:01:34,581 --> 00:01:36,182
Also I want to get her
a present to cheer her up
33
00:01:36,216 --> 00:01:37,316
on her last day.
34
00:01:37,351 --> 00:01:38,818
Any ideas?
35
00:01:38,852 --> 00:01:40,569
A "sorry you lost
your dream job" gift?
36
00:01:40,621 --> 00:01:42,555
Mm, that's a tough one.
Stay away from wine.
37
00:01:42,589 --> 00:01:43,823
Wine is crying juice.
38
00:01:43,857 --> 00:01:45,441
Well, I mean, you know her
better than anybody.
39
00:01:45,492 --> 00:01:48,210
What does she really want?
More than anything in the world?
40
00:01:48,261 --> 00:01:50,913
A nice candle.
I'm screwed.
41
00:01:50,947 --> 00:01:53,098
No! Andy!
42
00:01:53,116 --> 00:01:54,867
- An-Andy!
- Oh! Come on!
43
00:01:54,901 --> 00:01:57,303
- Andy!
- Be right out.
44
00:01:57,337 --> 00:02:00,339
Well, this is the
Pawnee City Council chambers.
45
00:02:00,357 --> 00:02:02,425
Your new home away from me.
46
00:02:02,459 --> 00:02:04,427
Well, technically, my home
away from home is in Zurich.
47
00:02:04,461 --> 00:02:07,530
Frank Gehry designed it.
But this is nice too.
48
00:02:07,564 --> 00:02:08,614
Today is my last day
49
00:02:08,649 --> 00:02:10,616
As a--excuse me.
50
00:02:10,634 --> 00:02:12,385
Let me try this again.
51
00:02:12,419 --> 00:02:13,869
Today is
my last day at C--
52
00:02:13,904 --> 00:02:15,688
Today is my la--
53
00:02:15,722 --> 00:02:16,789
Today is my last d--
54
00:02:16,823 --> 00:02:18,107
You know what?
You get the idea.
55
00:02:18,141 --> 00:02:20,142
My old friend Ingrid de Forest
won the recall vote,
56
00:02:20,193 --> 00:02:22,211
and she's taking my place
on Monday morning.
57
00:02:22,245 --> 00:02:23,579
But, you know, luckily for me,
58
00:02:23,630 --> 00:02:24,880
I've processed all my feelings.
59
00:02:24,931 --> 00:02:27,350
And I've gone through
the five stages of grief:
60
00:02:27,401 --> 00:02:29,368
Denial, anger,
Internet commenting,
61
00:02:29,403 --> 00:02:30,803
cat adoption, African dance,
62
00:02:30,837 --> 00:02:33,055
cat returning
to the adoption place,
63
00:02:33,106 --> 00:02:34,707
watching all the episodes
of Murphy Brown,
64
00:02:34,741 --> 00:02:36,359
and not giving a flying fart.
65
00:02:36,393 --> 00:02:38,461
How many stages is that?
66
00:02:38,512 --> 00:02:39,462
I don't know.
67
00:02:39,496 --> 00:02:41,197
The point is I'm fine now.
68
00:02:41,231 --> 00:02:43,199
This must be hard for you.
69
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,518
It's like what
sir Ian McKellen said to me
70
00:02:45,552 --> 00:02:47,470
the day I sold my boat
to Karl Lagerfeld:
71
00:02:47,521 --> 00:02:49,905
"Parting is such sweet sorrow."
72
00:02:49,956 --> 00:02:52,208
Oh, my God.
What is your life?
73
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:53,419
If it makes any difference,
74
00:02:53,427 --> 00:02:55,461
your work here
was a real inspiration to me,
75
00:02:55,495 --> 00:02:58,881
and I am going to do my best
to continue your legacy.
76
00:02:58,932 --> 00:03:02,068
Well, I appreciate
the sentiment.
77
00:03:05,255 --> 00:03:06,889
Leslie.
78
00:03:06,923 --> 00:03:08,574
I'm sorry.
Was I singing
79
00:03:08,608 --> 00:03:10,476
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
out loud?
80
00:03:10,510 --> 00:03:12,745
No. But would you like to?
81
00:03:12,779 --> 00:03:14,113
I studied opera at the Sorbonne.
82
00:03:14,147 --> 00:03:15,464
I'd be happy to harmonize.
83
00:03:15,515 --> 00:03:17,266
Goodbye...
84
00:03:17,317 --> 00:03:18,984
Goodbye...
85
00:03:19,018 --> 00:03:20,369
Naw.
86
00:03:20,404 --> 00:03:21,954
And finally,
87
00:03:21,988 --> 00:03:23,839
here is a check
for the entirety
88
00:03:23,890 --> 00:03:25,241
of the purchase
of Rent-A-Swag.
89
00:03:25,275 --> 00:03:27,392
And here is a personal note
90
00:03:27,411 --> 00:03:29,495
from my client
Dr. Saperstein.
91
00:03:29,529 --> 00:03:30,713
"Dear Tom:
I win.
92
00:03:30,747 --> 00:03:32,415
"You suck.
Turn note over.
93
00:03:32,466 --> 00:03:33,465
"You still suck.
94
00:03:33,483 --> 00:03:35,284
Turn note over."
95
00:03:35,318 --> 00:03:37,369
Okay, Saperstein
couldn't even face me himself?
96
00:03:37,403 --> 00:03:38,504
He had to send in his lackey?
97
00:03:38,538 --> 00:03:39,505
My client isn't at this meeting
98
00:03:39,539 --> 00:03:40,923
because he doesn't have to be.
99
00:03:40,974 --> 00:03:42,174
Successful people,
Mr. Haverford,
100
00:03:42,209 --> 00:03:44,810
use their money to use others
to work for them.
101
00:03:44,828 --> 00:03:46,829
Hmm, it's an interesting idea,
lawyer-dude.
102
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,731
What if I gave you 5 bucks
to put a bag of poop
103
00:03:48,765 --> 00:03:49,765
in Saperstein's car?
104
00:03:49,816 --> 00:03:51,033
No.
105
00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:53,753
Ballpark me.
How much would it cost?
106
00:03:53,787 --> 00:03:54,754
$10,000.
107
00:03:54,788 --> 00:03:56,422
Counter-offer:
108
00:03:56,456 --> 00:03:57,807
Why don't you just do it
for the story?
109
00:03:57,841 --> 00:04:00,392
Goodbye, Mr. Haverford.
110
00:04:00,410 --> 00:04:01,877
Is it done?
111
00:04:01,912 --> 00:04:05,231
Well, how many times
did he turn the paper over?
112
00:04:05,265 --> 00:04:08,701
Oh, that is disappointing.
113
00:04:08,735 --> 00:04:09,610
So...
114
00:04:09,730 --> 00:04:10,520
look at this baby.
115
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,671
That is
the most symmetrical fetus
116
00:04:12,705 --> 00:04:13,689
I've ever seen.
117
00:04:13,723 --> 00:04:15,808
This could be a superhero.
118
00:04:15,826 --> 00:04:17,243
- Dr. Saperstein.
- Yes.
119
00:04:17,277 --> 00:04:18,711
I know that we should hate you
120
00:04:18,745 --> 00:04:20,329
because you destroyed
our friend's business.
121
00:04:20,363 --> 00:04:22,381
- But we love you so much!
- We love you!
122
00:04:22,399 --> 00:04:23,549
I'm loveable!
123
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,317
So do you wanna know the sex?
124
00:04:25,335 --> 00:04:27,136
Oh, my God.
Should we?
125
00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:29,254
N-no, right?
Or maybe yes?
126
00:04:29,272 --> 00:04:31,157
Is there an option
other than yes or no?
127
00:04:31,191 --> 00:04:32,291
I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.
128
00:04:32,325 --> 00:04:33,709
I'm gonna write it down.
129
00:04:33,743 --> 00:04:35,427
Then I'm gonna put it
in an envelope,
130
00:04:35,462 --> 00:04:36,512
seal it, and when you're ready,
131
00:04:36,563 --> 00:04:37,847
voila!
132
00:04:37,898 --> 00:04:40,449
- That'll be fun!
- That's like the Oscars.
133
00:04:40,484 --> 00:04:42,334
Hey, let's get some food.
134
00:04:42,368 --> 00:04:43,586
I'm starving.
135
00:04:43,637 --> 00:04:45,104
Wait, no, I have to pee.
136
00:04:45,138 --> 00:04:46,522
Wait, no, I have to barf.
137
00:04:46,556 --> 00:04:48,307
Actually, all three.
138
00:04:48,325 --> 00:04:50,509
Being pregnant is great.
139
00:04:50,544 --> 00:04:53,462
And, finally, Larry's share
of the profit.
140
00:04:53,513 --> 00:04:54,730
Whoa! Good to be Larry.
141
00:04:54,764 --> 00:04:55,815
No, it's not,
you boring grandpa.
142
00:04:55,849 --> 00:04:58,617
Meanwhile, Tommy's ridin' high.
143
00:04:58,635 --> 00:04:59,751
$32,000.
144
00:04:59,769 --> 00:05:00,919
I'm basically a millionaire.
145
00:05:00,937 --> 00:05:02,154
What are you gonna do
with the money, Tom?
146
00:05:02,189 --> 00:05:03,405
Glad you asked.
147
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,457
A horrible man recently gave me
some great advice.
148
00:05:05,492 --> 00:05:07,893
For years, I've been coming up
with my own ideas.
149
00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:10,129
Like some sort of
non-rich idiot.
150
00:05:10,163 --> 00:05:12,097
Now I'm gonna let people
come to me
151
00:05:12,115 --> 00:05:13,866
and invest my scrilla
in the best idea I hear.
152
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:14,867
That sounds like
153
00:05:14,885 --> 00:05:16,552
an efficient use
of the free market.
154
00:05:16,586 --> 00:05:18,320
I would wish you
the best of luck,
155
00:05:18,355 --> 00:05:21,156
but I believe luck is
a concept invented by the weak
156
00:05:21,208 --> 00:05:22,591
to explain their failures.
157
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:24,209
Come hear the ideas
with me, Ron.
158
00:05:24,227 --> 00:05:25,728
I could use your wise,
grandfatherly advice.
159
00:05:25,779 --> 00:05:28,280
Do you think everyone here
is a grandfather?
160
00:05:28,314 --> 00:05:29,281
Basically, if you're
older than me,
161
00:05:29,299 --> 00:05:30,449
you're a grandpa.
162
00:05:30,467 --> 00:05:31,783
And if you are a grandpa,
you're dead.
163
00:05:31,801 --> 00:05:32,751
That sounds right.
164
00:05:32,769 --> 00:05:33,769
Uh, oops.
165
00:05:33,820 --> 00:05:35,141
This check is made out
to "Lenny,"
166
00:05:35,155 --> 00:05:36,906
which I think is a typo
for "Larry,"
167
00:05:36,957 --> 00:05:38,541
which isn't
even actually my name.
168
00:05:38,575 --> 00:05:40,676
Well, tell it
to the bank, Lenny.
169
00:05:40,727 --> 00:05:43,095
Am I--am I Lenny now?
170
00:05:43,129 --> 00:05:46,065
I'd like to order
a singing telegram.
171
00:05:46,099 --> 00:05:49,251
Well, my wife lost her job,
so maybe something sad and slow.
172
00:05:49,286 --> 00:05:50,352
Do you know anything from
173
00:05:50,387 --> 00:05:51,937
The Requiem for a Dream
soundtrack?
174
00:05:51,972 --> 00:05:53,155
This is a bad idea.
175
00:05:53,189 --> 00:05:54,557
I'm hanging up now. Bye.
176
00:05:54,608 --> 00:05:56,441
Well, Ingrid is settled
into my office,
177
00:05:56,459 --> 00:05:58,460
and this box contains
the last of my stuff.
178
00:05:58,511 --> 00:06:00,462
Although I might have left
some salt packets in my desk.
179
00:06:00,513 --> 00:06:02,047
Maybe I should go back
for those?
180
00:06:02,081 --> 00:06:03,816
Honey, it's okay,
there'll be other salt packets.
181
00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:05,734
But not the kind
that snaps in half, maybe.
182
00:06:05,785 --> 00:06:07,670
Okay, I know
I'm a broken record,
183
00:06:07,704 --> 00:06:09,788
but getting away
from the City Council
184
00:06:09,822 --> 00:06:11,262
is absolutely
the best thing for you.
185
00:06:11,291 --> 00:06:13,559
Trust me.
186
00:06:13,593 --> 00:06:15,861
This is Perd Hapley
talking to you now
187
00:06:15,896 --> 00:06:18,230
about what's going on today.
188
00:06:18,248 --> 00:06:19,832
We're live at City Hall
189
00:06:19,866 --> 00:06:21,967
where City Councilman Dexhart
is addressing
190
00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:23,319
his latest sex scandal.
191
00:06:23,353 --> 00:06:26,188
Recently, certain allegations
have come to light
192
00:06:26,222 --> 00:06:28,457
about my inappropriate conduct.
193
00:06:28,491 --> 00:06:31,477
I'm here
to set the record straight.
194
00:06:31,511 --> 00:06:35,147
I totally did all of it.
195
00:06:35,181 --> 00:06:37,366
Another sex scandal?
This guy's unbelievable.
196
00:06:37,417 --> 00:06:38,751
How does he find the time?
197
00:06:38,785 --> 00:06:41,420
I also engaged in
inappropriate texting,
198
00:06:41,454 --> 00:06:44,673
sexting,
and tex-mexting,
199
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:47,326
which is where you send
photos of your junk
200
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,778
from the restroom
of a chili's to go.
201
00:06:49,813 --> 00:06:51,630
- Hmm.
- Ew.
202
00:06:51,648 --> 00:06:53,465
Does this make me a bad boy?
203
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,234
You tell me.
204
00:06:55,268 --> 00:06:56,485
No. Really.
205
00:06:56,519 --> 00:06:57,536
Tell me.
206
00:06:57,570 --> 00:06:59,905
It gets me off
when women tell me that.
207
00:06:59,923 --> 00:07:01,423
He's reading this,
he wrote this down.
208
00:07:01,458 --> 00:07:04,443
I sent these texts
to roughly 100 women
209
00:07:04,477 --> 00:07:06,545
under the following pseudonyms:
210
00:07:06,563 --> 00:07:07,879
Enrique Shockwave,
211
00:07:07,897 --> 00:07:10,115
Willie Dynamite,
212
00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:12,518
Lee Harvey Teabag...
213
00:07:12,552 --> 00:07:13,719
Well, at least
you won't have to deal
214
00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:15,104
with that guy anymore.
215
00:07:15,155 --> 00:07:17,055
- You're right.
- Lieutenant Wilhelm Von Penis.
216
00:07:17,073 --> 00:07:19,224
Not after someone beats him
in the next election.
217
00:07:19,242 --> 00:07:21,610
Someone who is smart
and hard-working
218
00:07:21,661 --> 00:07:24,029
and who knows the job
because she's done it already
219
00:07:24,063 --> 00:07:26,165
and is also blond
and named Leslie
220
00:07:26,199 --> 00:07:27,166
and loves you.
221
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,668
- Is it you?
- Yes! It is!
222
00:07:29,703 --> 00:07:30,836
I'm gonna run again.
223
00:07:30,870 --> 00:07:32,338
I'm gonna beat Dexhart!
224
00:07:32,372 --> 00:07:33,505
And Anthony Weiner.
225
00:07:34,533 --> 00:07:36,804
Another City Council campaign?
226
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:38,238
Leslie, think about what you're saying.
227
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:40,446
I did. I challenge you
to find one flaw in my plan.
228
00:07:40,497 --> 00:07:41,747
Well, for one,
229
00:07:41,798 --> 00:07:43,065
we don't even live
in Dexhart's district.
230
00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:44,183
Not yet!
231
00:07:44,542 --> 00:07:46,426
But we can go and rent
a second apartment,
232
00:07:46,477 --> 00:07:48,345
and we can spend 51%
of our time there.
233
00:07:48,379 --> 00:07:49,696
And then I'll file
the campaign form
234
00:07:49,731 --> 00:07:51,131
from that address.
235
00:07:51,165 --> 00:07:53,717
I don't want to spend 51%
of our time in his district.
236
00:07:53,751 --> 00:07:55,902
It's basically a dumping ground
for old shipping containers.
237
00:07:55,937 --> 00:07:58,154
It's like a raccoon shantytown.
238
00:07:58,172 --> 00:07:59,373
Oh, it's not that bad.
239
00:07:59,424 --> 00:08:01,341
And also, Dexhart fights dirty.
240
00:08:01,392 --> 00:08:02,559
He's never lost an election
241
00:08:02,577 --> 00:08:05,379
because he runs brutal,
scorched-earth campaigns.
242
00:08:05,413 --> 00:08:06,880
So what? I got plenty
of dirt on that scumbag.
243
00:08:06,914 --> 00:08:08,098
I say, "Bring it on."
244
00:08:08,132 --> 00:08:09,449
So I'm gonna start
245
00:08:09,484 --> 00:08:11,001
my negative PR blitz
against Dexhart and--
246
00:08:11,035 --> 00:08:14,638
Look, I just think we need
to take a deep breath...
247
00:08:14,656 --> 00:08:16,273
Think about
if this is really worth it.
248
00:08:16,307 --> 00:08:20,010
Anything is worth me
getting back on City Council.
249
00:08:20,044 --> 00:08:21,612
Okay.
250
00:08:21,646 --> 00:08:23,530
Let's see which one
of these lucky visionaries
251
00:08:23,564 --> 00:08:25,532
is gonna make me rich.
252
00:08:25,583 --> 00:08:27,718
Greg Phillips!
253
00:08:27,752 --> 00:08:29,303
Hi, guys, thanks
for meeting with me.
254
00:08:29,354 --> 00:08:30,404
Enough chitchat. What's
your pitch, kid?
255
00:08:30,438 --> 00:08:31,855
Come on, time is money,
money is power,
256
00:08:31,889 --> 00:08:33,307
power is pizza,
pizza is knowledge.
257
00:08:33,341 --> 00:08:34,508
- Let's go.
- Okay.
258
00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:38,996
So my idea is for an abacus,
but on your phone.
259
00:08:39,030 --> 00:08:41,531
I call it a "phone-bacus."
260
00:08:41,566 --> 00:08:44,634
Son, you just described
a calculator.
261
00:08:44,652 --> 00:08:46,770
Hey, but you're talking
about it, right?
262
00:08:46,804 --> 00:08:47,838
Three words:
263
00:08:47,872 --> 00:08:50,207
Automated word counter.
264
00:08:50,241 --> 00:08:51,641
Get out.
265
00:08:51,659 --> 00:08:53,109
Two. Words.
266
00:08:53,127 --> 00:08:55,345
- No.
- One. Word.
267
00:08:55,380 --> 00:08:57,014
As you may know,
268
00:08:57,048 --> 00:08:59,533
I do like to tinker with things
in my garage.
269
00:08:59,584 --> 00:09:01,818
I'm gonna hit the can
while he's up.
270
00:09:01,836 --> 00:09:03,136
So I think I have discovered
271
00:09:03,171 --> 00:09:07,541
a way to generate
clean, renewable energy.
272
00:09:07,575 --> 00:09:09,309
I think it's gonna ch--
273
00:09:10,428 --> 00:09:11,461
Oh! Gross!
274
00:09:11,479 --> 00:09:12,646
God, Larry.
275
00:09:12,697 --> 00:09:13,730
You sneezed all over us!
276
00:09:13,764 --> 00:09:14,831
I'm not gonna buy that thing.
277
00:09:14,865 --> 00:09:16,466
It's covered in a gallon
of your boogers.
278
00:09:16,467 --> 00:09:18,301
I totally understand.
279
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:23,790
Uh, jeez.
280
00:09:23,841 --> 00:09:26,576
I will be thrilled
if we have a girl.
281
00:09:26,611 --> 00:09:28,195
Oh, tiny dresses?
282
00:09:28,246 --> 00:09:29,612
Braids?
Glitter on everything?
283
00:09:29,630 --> 00:09:30,630
Forget it.
284
00:09:30,665 --> 00:09:32,399
And also, girls' names
are so cute.
285
00:09:32,450 --> 00:09:34,901
Daisy, Annabelle, Lilly.
286
00:09:34,952 --> 00:09:38,939
Olive, rosemary, chicken.
Fifty burritos.
287
00:09:38,973 --> 00:09:40,557
Oh, my God, I'm starving.
Miss, hi!
288
00:09:40,575 --> 00:09:42,626
I'm pregnant, and I'm
a little bit crazy.
289
00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:43,710
So if you don't bring
our appetizers out
290
00:09:43,761 --> 00:09:44,995
in the next 30 seconds,
291
00:09:45,029 --> 00:09:48,398
I'm gonna plunge your face
into the deep fryer!
292
00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:49,383
And also two waters, please.
293
00:09:49,417 --> 00:09:51,034
But no hurry.
294
00:09:51,052 --> 00:09:52,319
Thank you.
295
00:09:52,353 --> 00:09:53,437
Leslie, I don't know
if there's a story
296
00:09:53,471 --> 00:09:54,637
in these emails.
297
00:09:54,655 --> 00:09:56,089
They're iffy,
298
00:09:56,124 --> 00:09:57,707
but Dexhart
has been elected eight times.
299
00:09:57,725 --> 00:09:59,593
I don't think the voters care.
300
00:09:59,644 --> 00:10:01,678
His poll numbers are actually up
since the scandal broke.
301
00:10:01,696 --> 00:10:02,812
Well, that's
just because people found out
302
00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:04,364
he was Miley Cyrus' cousin.
303
00:10:04,415 --> 00:10:05,882
- He is?
- Good morning, Leslie.
304
00:10:05,916 --> 00:10:07,934
"Sweet jugs."
305
00:10:10,071 --> 00:10:11,187
What?
306
00:10:11,205 --> 00:10:12,572
He's kinda cute.
307
00:10:12,607 --> 00:10:14,007
Oh, God, Shauna, no.
308
00:10:14,058 --> 00:10:16,309
I-I just feel like
I could fix him, you know?
309
00:10:17,612 --> 00:10:19,229
This sucks!
310
00:10:19,263 --> 00:10:21,498
We heard a hundred pitches,
and they're all terrible.
311
00:10:21,516 --> 00:10:23,150
Change of plans.
312
00:10:23,184 --> 00:10:24,151
You guys are my idea factory.
313
00:10:24,202 --> 00:10:25,836
- April, go.
- Okay, got one.
314
00:10:25,870 --> 00:10:27,737
Macaroni and poison.
315
00:10:27,755 --> 00:10:30,173
It's like mac and cheese,
but with a special ingredient.
316
00:10:30,207 --> 00:10:31,174
Ron?
317
00:10:31,192 --> 00:10:32,609
Every socket set
I've ever bought
318
00:10:32,643 --> 00:10:34,494
only goes up to 1/2 inch.
319
00:10:34,545 --> 00:10:36,413
I'd love a couple larger sizes.
320
00:10:36,447 --> 00:10:38,848
Take it all the way up to 5/8.
321
00:10:38,866 --> 00:10:39,866
Andy?
322
00:10:39,917 --> 00:10:43,970
Bears bouncing
on trampoline roads.
323
00:10:44,021 --> 00:10:46,823
There's a chance
that I might have dreamed that.
324
00:10:46,858 --> 00:10:49,126
Okay, time to head back
to the office.
325
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,011
I've missed
an entire day of work,
326
00:10:51,045 --> 00:10:54,614
so at least some good
came from this.
327
00:10:54,649 --> 00:10:56,065
What are you doing?
328
00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:57,868
Well, they couldn't make
a banner in time
329
00:10:57,902 --> 00:11:00,570
for my press conference,
so I am cobbling together
330
00:11:00,605 --> 00:11:02,906
a banner from
all the other discarded banners.
331
00:11:02,940 --> 00:11:06,126
"Second chunce four Lesle!
332
00:11:06,177 --> 00:11:10,247
"Perv Dexxxhrt equals...
333
00:11:10,281 --> 00:11:12,215
- birthday mouse"?
- Rat!
334
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:13,950
Well, that's the closest thing
I could get to a rat.
335
00:11:13,968 --> 00:11:15,802
Leslie, listen to yourself.
336
00:11:15,853 --> 00:11:18,822
Loopholes,
scorched-earth policies.
337
00:11:18,856 --> 00:11:20,207
This isn't you.
338
00:11:20,241 --> 00:11:22,158
I cannot believe you aren't
supporting me on this!
339
00:11:22,176 --> 00:11:24,861
Dexhart has a sex scandal
the same day I'm leaving office?
340
00:11:24,896 --> 00:11:26,613
That is not a coincidence.
341
00:11:26,647 --> 00:11:27,664
This was meant to be.
342
00:11:27,698 --> 00:11:28,748
You know what?
343
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,333
Why don't we gather everyone
in here,
344
00:11:30,367 --> 00:11:32,552
you explain to them
what you're thinking,
345
00:11:32,587 --> 00:11:33,937
and, uh, we get some feedback.
346
00:11:33,971 --> 00:11:35,956
Now you're talking.
347
00:11:35,990 --> 00:11:38,041
I would be thrilled
if we had a boy.
348
00:11:38,075 --> 00:11:40,510
I have perfected the art
of shaving the human face.
349
00:11:40,544 --> 00:11:42,479
And I would love to be able
to pass that on.
350
00:11:42,513 --> 00:11:44,865
Toy trucks?
Superhero costumes?
351
00:11:44,899 --> 00:11:46,950
Tiny little acorn penis?
Forget it.
352
00:11:46,984 --> 00:11:48,151
A weird image.
353
00:11:48,169 --> 00:11:50,370
But one that does not diminish
my enthusiasm.
354
00:11:50,404 --> 00:11:52,222
Well, Ann Perkins,
355
00:11:52,256 --> 00:11:54,090
are you ready to find out
the sex of our baby?
356
00:11:54,108 --> 00:11:55,992
I'm ready.
357
00:11:56,027 --> 00:11:58,094
We are having a...
358
00:11:58,129 --> 00:12:00,647
"distributions."
359
00:12:00,681 --> 00:12:02,298
That's what it looks like:
Distributions.
360
00:12:02,316 --> 00:12:03,700
Let me see that.
361
00:12:03,734 --> 00:12:05,919
It says "congratulations,"
I think.
362
00:12:05,953 --> 00:12:07,036
Then it says,
363
00:12:07,054 --> 00:12:09,089
"I...leg smurf."
364
00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:10,257
Are we having a smurf?
365
00:12:10,308 --> 00:12:13,527
We are having a...
"11-jewel toilet."
366
00:12:13,561 --> 00:12:15,645
I can't tell what's words
and what's punctuation!
367
00:12:15,663 --> 00:12:16,997
The suspense is killing me!
368
00:12:17,031 --> 00:12:17,998
I'm calling Dr. Saperstein.
369
00:12:18,049 --> 00:12:19,382
I'm calling Domino's.
370
00:12:19,416 --> 00:12:20,767
Do you think Domino's delivers
to this restaurant?
371
00:12:20,801 --> 00:12:22,819
- I hope so.
- Oh, no.
372
00:12:22,854 --> 00:12:24,054
He's out
for the rest of the day!
373
00:12:24,088 --> 00:12:28,124
I have literally never been
more stressed out.
374
00:12:28,159 --> 00:12:29,826
Oh, good! You guys are here!
375
00:12:29,861 --> 00:12:31,561
Okay, everybody gather around.
I have a big announcement.
376
00:12:31,596 --> 00:12:34,064
I am officially
seeking reelection
377
00:12:34,098 --> 00:12:35,448
to the Pawnee City Council.
378
00:12:35,483 --> 00:12:37,584
I am gonna be running
for Dexhart's seat.
379
00:12:37,618 --> 00:12:41,504
And the campaign starts now.
380
00:12:41,538 --> 00:12:44,474
Oh, I love the sound of silence
381
00:12:44,508 --> 00:12:46,092
before a big cheer.
382
00:12:46,143 --> 00:12:47,727
That's what's happening, right?
383
00:12:47,762 --> 00:12:49,062
Leslie, no offense.
384
00:12:49,096 --> 00:12:50,680
I've heard a lot
of bad ideas today.
385
00:12:50,714 --> 00:12:53,149
- This is the worst.
- April?
386
00:12:53,184 --> 00:12:55,402
I would love it if you ran
an insane campaign
387
00:12:55,436 --> 00:12:57,571
and basically turned
into the joker.
388
00:12:57,605 --> 00:12:59,689
But that means you probably
shouldn't do it.
389
00:12:59,723 --> 00:13:00,774
- Andy?
- I don't know, Leslie.
390
00:13:00,825 --> 00:13:02,158
It seems risky.
391
00:13:02,193 --> 00:13:04,354
And I'd hate to see you
go through another tough fight.
392
00:13:04,362 --> 00:13:05,779
But I could be wrong.
393
00:13:05,830 --> 00:13:07,080
I haven't pooped in three days.
394
00:13:07,114 --> 00:13:09,799
Okay, Ron, you have always
given me sage counsel.
395
00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:11,801
And your words
carry great influence so...
396
00:13:11,835 --> 00:13:13,136
what do you think I should do?
397
00:13:13,170 --> 00:13:14,854
I do not think
you should run again.
398
00:13:14,889 --> 00:13:16,250
What the hell do you know,
Dum-Dum?
399
00:13:16,274 --> 00:13:18,725
All of you! Look,
this is my only option.
400
00:13:18,776 --> 00:13:20,477
I am running again
with or without you.
401
00:13:20,511 --> 00:13:22,779
Leslie, you're running
for office again?
402
00:13:22,813 --> 00:13:24,230
What a great idea!
403
00:13:24,282 --> 00:13:25,482
How can I help?
404
00:13:25,516 --> 00:13:26,750
Ugh...
405
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:31,501
Well, no one else
any good business ideas.
406
00:13:31,621 --> 00:13:33,334
So I decided to
take care of it myself.
407
00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:35,850
Talking tissue!
408
00:13:35,884 --> 00:13:36,924
Any time you pull one out,
409
00:13:36,968 --> 00:13:38,502
you get a little message
to hype you up.
410
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,070
Blow that nose, playah!
411
00:13:40,105 --> 00:13:41,271
No.
412
00:13:41,289 --> 00:13:43,290
This stinks.
413
00:13:43,341 --> 00:13:44,925
I'm just gonna have to go back
to my same job
414
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,277
that I've had forever.
415
00:13:46,311 --> 00:13:47,745
Yeah, I get
why you're bummed out.
416
00:13:47,779 --> 00:13:48,779
I mean, look at me.
417
00:13:48,813 --> 00:13:50,447
I'm younger than you,
418
00:13:50,482 --> 00:13:51,715
and I already have
my own department.
419
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:54,068
Plus I'm married,
and I make more money than you.
420
00:13:54,119 --> 00:13:55,469
Whatever. You just merged
your department with parks
421
00:13:55,503 --> 00:13:56,954
then made up your own title.
422
00:13:56,972 --> 00:13:58,088
Yeah.
423
00:13:58,106 --> 00:13:59,556
It's awesome.
424
00:13:59,574 --> 00:14:00,574
I'm empty, yo.
425
00:14:00,609 --> 00:14:03,878
Fill me up.
426
00:14:03,929 --> 00:14:05,963
Do that again.
427
00:14:08,366 --> 00:14:11,602
What could you possibly need
at 6:00 in the morning?
428
00:14:11,636 --> 00:14:12,916
We couldn't read your writing,
429
00:14:12,938 --> 00:14:14,499
and we need
to know the sex of our baby.
430
00:14:14,522 --> 00:14:16,790
I'm watching cartoons
with my son.
431
00:14:16,825 --> 00:14:17,892
Daddy!
432
00:14:17,926 --> 00:14:19,543
An Elmer Fudd one is on!
433
00:14:19,561 --> 00:14:21,262
Stop it.
Hey, what's up, beautiful?
434
00:14:21,296 --> 00:14:23,080
Jean-Ralphio.
I live in the guesthouse.
435
00:14:23,114 --> 00:14:24,381
What do you say
you and I get together
436
00:14:24,416 --> 00:14:25,849
in a special way?
437
00:14:25,884 --> 00:14:26,901
I-I'm pregnant.
438
00:14:26,935 --> 00:14:28,535
- The more the merrier.
- With my baby.
439
00:14:28,570 --> 00:14:29,670
Well, you can come too,
beautiful.
440
00:14:29,704 --> 00:14:30,888
Look at that.
441
00:14:30,922 --> 00:14:33,090
I guess sometimes
I call men "beautiful" too.
442
00:14:33,108 --> 00:14:36,577
I guess I'm
open-minded as hell.
443
00:14:36,628 --> 00:14:38,762
And I think
you're pretty good-looking.
444
00:14:38,797 --> 00:14:40,237
- Thank you.
- Can you just read that
445
00:14:40,265 --> 00:14:41,732
and tell us
what the sex is, please?
446
00:14:41,766 --> 00:14:42,933
Wow.
447
00:14:42,951 --> 00:14:44,234
It looks like
the chicken that wrote this
448
00:14:44,252 --> 00:14:45,753
had a stroke on the paper.
449
00:14:46,938 --> 00:14:48,689
Listen, I-I kind of remember.
450
00:14:48,740 --> 00:14:50,124
But I don't want to say
anything that's wrong.
451
00:14:50,158 --> 00:14:51,659
Give me 15 minutes.
452
00:14:51,710 --> 00:14:52,927
I will get dressed.
453
00:14:52,978 --> 00:14:54,895
We'll go down
to my office. Okay.
454
00:14:54,930 --> 00:14:56,697
Well, have a good day
at work today, daddy.
455
00:14:56,731 --> 00:14:58,232
Also,
if you don't know already,
456
00:14:58,266 --> 00:15:00,050
there's a malfunction
with the TV,
457
00:15:00,085 --> 00:15:01,535
where it keeps ordering porno,
458
00:15:01,569 --> 00:15:02,903
like, a ton of porno.
459
00:15:02,938 --> 00:15:05,258
Like, how can someone watch
that much porno in one sitting?
460
00:15:05,273 --> 00:15:06,594
Only when you're out
of the house.
461
00:15:06,625 --> 00:15:08,976
So if you see it on the bill,
that's why. Okay?
462
00:15:09,027 --> 00:15:11,261
"And therefore, with your help,
463
00:15:11,279 --> 00:15:13,497
"we can make our future bright.
464
00:15:13,531 --> 00:15:16,934
I believe I still have
a lot to offer this city."
465
00:15:16,968 --> 00:15:18,802
I'd swap those two lines.
466
00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:22,473
Always helps
to end on the call to action.
467
00:15:22,507 --> 00:15:24,391
I'm sorry if it felt like
everyone piled on.
468
00:15:24,442 --> 00:15:26,193
We were just being honest.
469
00:15:26,227 --> 00:15:27,678
But if you really
want to do this,
470
00:15:27,712 --> 00:15:29,096
of course we'll support you.
471
00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:30,431
Thank you.
472
00:15:30,482 --> 00:15:32,449
I'm sorry I stormed out.
473
00:15:32,483 --> 00:15:33,867
You know, I've been thinking
for weeks of what to get you
474
00:15:33,918 --> 00:15:35,970
as a "last day in City Council"
present.
475
00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:38,322
And I finally figured it out.
476
00:15:38,356 --> 00:15:39,406
You remember Jen Barkley,
477
00:15:39,457 --> 00:15:40,741
political consultant
and power broker?
478
00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:42,042
Hey! Jen!
479
00:15:42,093 --> 00:15:43,093
What brings you back to Pawnee?
480
00:15:43,128 --> 00:15:44,511
Ben bought one hour of my time.
481
00:15:44,562 --> 00:15:45,929
I heard you need
some consulting?
482
00:15:45,947 --> 00:15:47,965
Well, uh, I guess.
483
00:15:47,999 --> 00:15:49,583
I mean, how are you?
How's your family?
484
00:15:49,634 --> 00:15:51,518
Okay, I get paid
$1,200 an hour.
485
00:15:51,569 --> 00:15:53,337
Do you really wanna spend
any of that time
486
00:15:53,371 --> 00:15:54,404
talking about my mother
487
00:15:54,422 --> 00:15:56,557
and her
19-year-old Korean husband?
488
00:15:56,608 --> 00:15:58,008
Well, that does sound
fascinating.
489
00:15:58,009 --> 00:15:59,026
But you're right, let's talk.
490
00:15:59,060 --> 00:16:01,445
Okay.
I'll get the chair.
491
00:16:03,131 --> 00:16:05,065
Ron!
492
00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:06,734
That's how I enter rooms now.
It's more dramatic.
493
00:16:06,785 --> 00:16:08,786
Why did you enter at all?
494
00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:10,187
Because I have some huge news.
495
00:16:10,221 --> 00:16:14,708
You're looking at
Pawnee's new business liaison.
496
00:16:14,743 --> 00:16:15,993
I don't like French words.
497
00:16:16,027 --> 00:16:17,328
I do like the word "business."
498
00:16:17,362 --> 00:16:18,612
You may continue.
499
00:16:18,646 --> 00:16:20,080
April created
a new position for herself,
500
00:16:20,115 --> 00:16:21,281
and I wanna do the same.
501
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:22,833
The town could use
more private-sector money
502
00:16:22,867 --> 00:16:23,851
after the merger.
503
00:16:23,902 --> 00:16:25,135
So as business liaison,
504
00:16:25,153 --> 00:16:27,354
I would find companies
looking to move or expand,
505
00:16:27,389 --> 00:16:29,123
and convince them
to do it in Pawnee.
506
00:16:29,174 --> 00:16:31,041
Now this is a good idea.
507
00:16:31,059 --> 00:16:33,177
You've come a long way, son.
508
00:16:33,211 --> 00:16:35,612
And while I got you here...
509
00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:36,597
talking tissue.
510
00:16:36,631 --> 00:16:38,599
Go for it.
511
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:39,650
Yo, dog!
512
00:16:39,684 --> 00:16:41,835
Life is what you make of it.
513
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:45,339
Leave while I'm ahead?
You got it.
514
00:16:46,691 --> 00:16:48,025
Clear them sinuses, playboy!
515
00:16:48,059 --> 00:16:49,493
Someone's got the sniffies.
516
00:16:49,527 --> 00:16:50,744
Tell your mama you love 'er.
517
00:16:50,795 --> 00:16:52,496
Step up
your vitamin "C" game, bro!
518
00:16:52,530 --> 00:16:54,314
So they recall me
after all I've done for them.
519
00:16:54,349 --> 00:16:55,432
Ridiculous.
520
00:16:55,450 --> 00:16:56,583
But Dexhart now
has another sex scandal.
521
00:16:56,618 --> 00:16:57,901
Of course he does.
522
00:16:57,936 --> 00:16:59,720
And the plan is
I'm gonna run for his seat.
523
00:16:59,754 --> 00:17:02,072
Because how do I lose
to a guy like that?
524
00:17:02,107 --> 00:17:03,824
- That's a great idea, right?
- It's a terrible idea.
525
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:05,659
I knew it. Wait. What?
526
00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:07,094
First of all, you could lose
to a guy like that.
527
00:17:07,128 --> 00:17:09,346
Terrible people defeat
great people all of the time.
528
00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:10,614
I should know.
529
00:17:10,648 --> 00:17:11,865
Those terrible people
have paid me so much money,
530
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,384
I have a condo
in every virgin island.
531
00:17:13,418 --> 00:17:14,968
Now you might win.
532
00:17:15,003 --> 00:17:17,104
You're smart, Ben is smart,
you might win.
533
00:17:17,138 --> 00:17:18,572
But why would you want to?
534
00:17:18,606 --> 00:17:20,524
Because it's my dream job.
535
00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:21,825
Then dream bigger.
536
00:17:21,843 --> 00:17:23,794
Look, you love this town.
537
00:17:23,828 --> 00:17:24,895
It's being run
by monsters and morons?
538
00:17:24,929 --> 00:17:26,180
Get a better job!
539
00:17:26,231 --> 00:17:27,781
Rise above their heads.
540
00:17:27,816 --> 00:17:29,900
Affect change at a higher level.
541
00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:30,968
Don't be the kid
that graduates high school,
542
00:17:31,002 --> 00:17:32,586
hangs out
in the school parking lot.
543
00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:34,388
Be the woman who moves away,
544
00:17:34,439 --> 00:17:36,607
climbs the ladder,
and then confidently comes back
545
00:17:36,641 --> 00:17:38,008
and has sex
with her hot old English teacher
546
00:17:38,042 --> 00:17:39,443
just for kicks.
547
00:17:39,461 --> 00:17:40,961
Is that what you did?
548
00:17:41,012 --> 00:17:42,012
Yeah. Mr. Baker.
549
00:17:42,046 --> 00:17:43,597
Sex was pretty good,
thanks to me.
550
00:17:43,648 --> 00:17:45,983
Look, Pawnee
has done you a favor.
551
00:17:46,017 --> 00:17:47,451
You've outgrown them.
552
00:17:47,485 --> 00:17:49,786
You've got talent, and
you've got name recognition.
553
00:17:49,804 --> 00:17:52,272
Which means that you have
a bright, wide-open future
554
00:17:52,323 --> 00:17:54,408
with a thousand options.
555
00:17:54,442 --> 00:17:56,026
State Senate.
556
00:17:56,060 --> 00:17:57,194
Federal jobs.
557
00:17:57,228 --> 00:17:58,796
Even congress.
558
00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:01,432
All of these are doable for you.
559
00:18:01,466 --> 00:18:04,301
And you can trust me...
560
00:18:05,904 --> 00:18:09,189
because I don't care
enough about you to lie.
561
00:18:11,025 --> 00:18:12,659
Uh-oh. Oh, time's up.
562
00:18:12,694 --> 00:18:14,644
Okay, if you want
to keep talking,
563
00:18:14,662 --> 00:18:15,996
you're gonna have to pay me
1,200 more dollars.
564
00:18:16,030 --> 00:18:18,081
- I just need--
- No, I swear to God,
565
00:18:18,116 --> 00:18:20,584
if you say one more word,
you will legally owe me $1,200,
566
00:18:20,618 --> 00:18:22,986
and I will sue you.
Let's not end it like that.
567
00:18:23,004 --> 00:18:24,755
Okay, great to see you, Leslie.
568
00:18:24,789 --> 00:18:26,039
Those five words are on me.
569
00:18:26,090 --> 00:18:28,258
Should I move this back?
Don't answer it!
570
00:18:29,257 --> 00:18:30,327
I don't know
what you're thinking,
571
00:18:30,345 --> 00:18:34,014
but you have a press conference
in ten minutes.
572
00:18:36,212 --> 00:18:37,689
Well, this is it...
573
00:18:37,929 --> 00:18:39,231
The final moment..
574
00:18:39,615 --> 00:18:41,005
What are you hoping for?
575
00:18:41,526 --> 00:18:44,070
I will honestly be happy
either way.
576
00:18:44,192 --> 00:18:45,226
Me too.
577
00:18:45,260 --> 00:18:47,061
Boy or girl,
578
00:18:47,095 --> 00:18:48,395
it doesn't matter.
579
00:18:48,429 --> 00:18:50,481
Because it will literally be
580
00:18:50,532 --> 00:18:52,616
the greatest child
who's ever lived.
581
00:18:52,651 --> 00:18:54,902
You swear you have
no preference?
582
00:18:54,936 --> 00:18:55,953
You?
583
00:18:55,987 --> 00:18:58,706
Not at all.
584
00:18:58,740 --> 00:19:00,824
Who's ready? Raise your hand.
585
00:19:00,876 --> 00:19:03,210
- It's a boy!
- Yes!
586
00:19:03,245 --> 00:19:04,662
I thought you didn't have
a preference.
587
00:19:04,713 --> 00:19:06,547
I didn't. I just really
wanted it to be a boy.
588
00:19:06,581 --> 00:19:07,581
Me too.
589
00:19:07,615 --> 00:19:09,333
I don't know why.
590
00:19:09,384 --> 00:19:10,801
You guys are just so neat.
591
00:19:10,835 --> 00:19:13,120
Would you be interested
in adopting my children?
592
00:19:13,138 --> 00:19:15,222
They're in their late 20s,
they're terrible.
593
00:19:15,257 --> 00:19:16,807
No? No go?
594
00:19:16,841 --> 00:19:19,810
I ask all my patients.
595
00:19:19,844 --> 00:19:22,229
I've gathered you all
here today
596
00:19:22,264 --> 00:19:23,564
because I have an announcement,
597
00:19:23,598 --> 00:19:28,686
a very big announcement,
about my future.
598
00:19:28,737 --> 00:19:32,940
I will be heading to lunch today
with my husband.
599
00:19:32,974 --> 00:19:34,441
At JJ's diner.
600
00:19:34,475 --> 00:19:36,777
We will eat waffles.
601
00:19:36,811 --> 00:19:38,662
And then we will go home
and make out on our couch.
602
00:19:38,697 --> 00:19:40,331
That is my future.
603
00:19:40,365 --> 00:19:43,951
For now.
604
00:19:43,985 --> 00:19:48,372
It's been an honor
to serve this town.
605
00:19:48,423 --> 00:19:51,175
And I will cherish the memories
forever.
606
00:19:51,209 --> 00:19:53,093
Thank you.
607
00:19:53,128 --> 00:19:54,712
- Ms. Knope!
- There you have it.
608
00:19:54,763 --> 00:19:56,931
A shockingly unshocking
press conference
609
00:19:56,965 --> 00:19:58,682
in which
a recently unemployed woman
610
00:19:58,717 --> 00:20:00,684
said nothing of importance.
611
00:20:00,719 --> 00:20:02,052
I'm Perd Hapley,
612
00:20:02,103 --> 00:20:04,727
and I just realized
I'm not holding my microphone.
613
00:20:05,174 --> 00:20:07,891
Jen Barkley telling me I had a future was
614
00:20:08,011 --> 00:20:10,042
the best present I could have got.
Thank you.
615
00:20:10,162 --> 00:20:11,010
You're welcome.
616
00:20:11,130 --> 00:20:12,958
But, I did get you one other present
617
00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:14,321
to take your mind off all this.
618
00:20:14,441 --> 00:20:16,753
Aww, you are the sweetest man in the world.
Where is it?
619
00:20:16,873 --> 00:20:19,371
Well, it's not here.
620
00:20:19,491 --> 00:20:20,928
We have to go get it.
621
00:20:31,456 --> 00:20:34,516
In times of stress or in moments
of transition,
622
00:20:34,636 --> 00:20:37,849
sometimes it can feel like the whole world
is closing in on you.
623
00:20:38,211 --> 00:20:42,476
When that happens, you should close
your eyes, take a deep breath,
624
00:20:42,596 --> 00:20:45,409
listen to the people that love you
when they're giving advice,
625
00:20:45,752 --> 00:20:47,957
and remember what really matters.
626
00:20:48,077 --> 00:20:51,230
And, if you have the ability to go to Paris,
by all means,
627
00:20:51,516 --> 00:20:52,466
got to Paris!
628
00:20:52,586 --> 00:20:54,269
- I found one!
- Oh, great!
629
00:20:54,389 --> 00:20:56,305
- Mm, right here.
- Yeah?
630
00:21:07,322 --> 00:21:14,283
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com