1 00:00:21,249 --> 00:00:22,817 (exclaims anxiously) 2 00:00:26,647 --> 00:00:28,114 (exclaiming) 3 00:00:33,181 --> 00:00:35,237 (school bell ringing) 4 00:00:37,425 --> 00:00:38,272 (Barney belches) 5 00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:40,240 (playing glissandos on harp) 6 00:00:43,365 --> 00:00:45,533 (playing random melody) 7 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:46,886 (strums strings) 8 00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:48,214 (tires screeching) 9 00:00:50,129 --> 00:00:51,296 D'oh! 10 00:00:51,513 --> 00:00:52,859 (tires screeching) 11 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,092 (grunts) 12 00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,425 (cowboy melody plays on harmonica) 13 00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:00,347 (ethereal chord chimes) 14 00:01:00,368 --> 00:01:01,835 (strumming guitar) 15 00:01:01,856 --> 00:01:03,423 (whale singing) 16 00:01:03,436 --> 00:01:04,872 (eerie melody plays) 17 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,374 (jaunty circus music playing) 18 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,868 (hoarse barking) 19 00:01:07,894 --> 00:01:09,361 (electric guitar plays surf riff) 20 00:01:09,423 --> 00:01:11,091 (footsteps thudding) 21 00:01:11,118 --> 00:01:14,153 (various melodies and sounds shifting rapidly) 22 00:01:17,630 --> 00:01:19,732 (melodies and sounds shifting faster) 23 00:01:24,739 --> 00:01:25,739 (remote shattering) 24 00:01:25,766 --> 00:01:29,766 ♪ The Simpsons 25x10 ♪ Married to the Blob Original Air Date on January 12, 2014 25 00:01:29,780 --> 00:01:34,780 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 26 00:01:35,621 --> 00:01:37,072 NARRATOR: High above Zenith City, 27 00:01:37,108 --> 00:01:39,549 Radioactive Man keeps a lonely vigil! 28 00:01:39,565 --> 00:01:40,565 RADIOACTIVE MAN: All seems quiet. 29 00:01:40,586 --> 00:01:42,659 Maybe I'll fly to China and get some takeout. 30 00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:43,657 (gasps) 31 00:01:43,682 --> 00:01:45,562 A sky tweet from Commissioner Sweeney! 32 00:01:45,584 --> 00:01:49,406 This looks like a job for: @radioactivemanó01. 33 00:01:49,419 --> 00:01:50,901 (whooshing) 34 00:01:51,849 --> 00:01:54,676 Leaping Leptons! It's the Fossil Fuel Four! 35 00:01:54,693 --> 00:01:56,373 Old King Coal... 36 00:01:56,385 --> 00:01:58,140 Patroleus Rex... 37 00:01:58,163 --> 00:02:00,578 French Femme Fatale Charcoal Briquette... 38 00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:04,523 ...and the enemy of drinking water everywhere, 39 00:02:04,550 --> 00:02:05,516 the Fracker. 40 00:02:05,564 --> 00:02:07,381 (grunting with effort) 41 00:02:08,993 --> 00:02:10,782 Stop attacking the nuclear plant-- 42 00:02:10,809 --> 00:02:12,838 this country's safest energy source! 43 00:02:12,865 --> 00:02:17,396 Studies show, I'm America's best hope for energy independence. (laughs) 44 00:02:17,416 --> 00:02:20,424 Those studies were industry financed. 45 00:02:20,710 --> 00:02:22,067 You lie! 46 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,293 Holy Hedrons! 47 00:02:23,313 --> 00:02:24,562 I need backup! 48 00:02:25,097 --> 00:02:28,070 Calling Citizen Solar, and his sidekick Wind Lad. 49 00:02:28,099 --> 00:02:31,463 (French accent): I believe you will find them lacking in energy. 50 00:02:31,483 --> 00:02:33,560 It's too cloudy. 51 00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:36,876 People don't like the noise I make. 52 00:02:36,941 --> 00:02:38,069 Ehhh... 53 00:02:40,766 --> 00:02:43,020 Petroleus Rex, please remember when you used to be 54 00:02:43,033 --> 00:02:45,127 Environmental Scientist Rex Bernstein. 55 00:02:45,150 --> 00:02:48,589 I have become my destiny. 56 00:02:53,929 --> 00:02:55,318 (grunts, groans) 57 00:02:57,315 --> 00:02:59,832 I'll crush you like a gnat, King Coal. 58 00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:03,377 (shouting in pain) 59 00:03:03,648 --> 00:03:05,177 (grunting with effort) 60 00:03:05,567 --> 00:03:07,029 (shouting) 61 00:03:14,591 --> 00:03:16,066 Half life. 62 00:03:16,094 --> 00:03:17,867 Quar... ter life. 63 00:03:17,889 --> 00:03:19,778 Eighth life. 64 00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:21,443 Gone. 65 00:03:22,347 --> 00:03:24,237 Frack-cellent! 66 00:03:24,261 --> 00:03:25,795 (laughs sinisterly) 67 00:03:27,367 --> 00:03:30,050 They killed off Radioactive Man? 68 00:03:30,074 --> 00:03:32,074 I did not see that coming. 69 00:03:32,449 --> 00:03:34,287 Die-carumba! 70 00:03:34,646 --> 00:03:38,452 They'll just reboot Radioactive Man in an overpriced new origin issue 71 00:03:38,465 --> 00:03:42,104 and get clueless fanboys like you to line up at midnight to buy them. 72 00:03:42,123 --> 00:03:44,464 Clueless fanboys in costume. 73 00:03:44,495 --> 00:03:45,692 (text alert chimes) 74 00:03:47,017 --> 00:03:47,844 MILHOUSE: Wow! 75 00:03:47,865 --> 00:03:49,098 Midnight. 76 00:03:49,114 --> 00:03:51,867 I won't know which day to write in my diary. 77 00:03:52,090 --> 00:03:53,150 - Homer. - What? 78 00:03:53,156 --> 00:03:55,417 Will you take me to buy a comic book Tuesday at midnight? 79 00:03:55,439 --> 00:03:57,520 And miss the back half of Jimmy Kimmel? 80 00:03:57,555 --> 00:03:59,686 That's when he experiments, boy. 81 00:03:59,699 --> 00:04:02,659 You never watched an episode of Jimmy Kimmel in your life. 82 00:04:02,687 --> 00:04:05,474 Yes, I have. After the Oscars, when he forces you. 83 00:04:07,959 --> 00:04:09,929 (Ralph Wiggum singing random melody) 84 00:04:11,829 --> 00:04:13,383 (door bell dings, all cheering, clapping) 85 00:04:13,403 --> 00:04:14,719 Quiet. Quiet! 86 00:04:14,739 --> 00:04:17,639 And attention please, valued customers. 87 00:04:17,669 --> 00:04:21,499 You will each be allowed to enter the store, and buy one copy. 88 00:04:21,526 --> 00:04:23,889 Swallow your gum, now. 89 00:04:23,909 --> 00:04:24,662 (all gulp) 90 00:04:24,683 --> 00:04:27,676 MILTON: Oh. Oh. Mr. Book Guy. Can I go first? 91 00:04:27,692 --> 00:04:30,837 I was once cast to play Fallout Boy in a movie. 92 00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:32,564 Tell it to Harlan Ellison. 93 00:04:32,584 --> 00:04:34,791 I think, you over-privileged kids 94 00:04:34,813 --> 00:04:37,580 with your electronic tablets and your talking phones, 95 00:04:37,595 --> 00:04:41,448 wouldn't know a good piece of fiction if your iPod read it to your ass. 96 00:04:41,459 --> 00:04:43,963 I wish someone would have come from the future, 97 00:04:43,976 --> 00:04:45,996 and warned me not to talk to you. 98 00:04:46,011 --> 00:04:47,311 That's my idea! 99 00:04:47,319 --> 00:04:48,992 You're stealing my idea! 100 00:04:49,014 --> 00:04:50,065 Sorry. 101 00:05:00,418 --> 00:05:02,885 C-B-G. What's the happs, my man? 102 00:05:02,905 --> 00:05:05,058 Well, well, well. If it isn't Milo, 103 00:05:05,083 --> 00:05:08,023 the owner of my main competitor, Coolsville. 104 00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:10,359 Or should I say, "Foolsville." 105 00:05:10,388 --> 00:05:13,108 That is some tasty cashish, my friend. 106 00:05:13,131 --> 00:05:13,988 Indeed. 107 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,975 And how did you spend your evening? 108 00:05:15,994 --> 00:05:17,222 Um... Let's see. 109 00:05:17,242 --> 00:05:19,157 I wrote a Lost fan fiction finale 110 00:05:19,177 --> 00:05:21,855 that also answers all the questions from Twin Peaks. 111 00:05:21,873 --> 00:05:24,793 Reranked all the Doctor Whos by puffiness of the hair. 112 00:05:24,823 --> 00:05:28,004 Oh, and I also got married to my actual, non-imaginary, 113 00:05:28,033 --> 00:05:30,813 comic-tolerating girlfriend, Strawberry. 114 00:05:30,835 --> 00:05:34,122 Now when Milo talks to himself, it won't seem crazy. 115 00:05:34,146 --> 00:05:36,619 So, Milo talks to himself. 116 00:05:36,646 --> 00:05:39,328 We will treasure that information. 117 00:05:39,334 --> 00:05:42,592 Yes... we will. 118 00:05:42,621 --> 00:05:47,294 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna share this primo origin ish with my bride. 119 00:05:47,325 --> 00:05:49,808 Even the mintiest comic is just acidifying pulp, 120 00:05:49,828 --> 00:05:51,481 if you have no one to read it with, right? 121 00:05:51,503 --> 00:05:53,483 Nerds don't get girls. 122 00:05:53,496 --> 00:05:54,963 These days they do, man. 123 00:05:54,973 --> 00:05:57,046 Comic-Con is now eight percent women. 124 00:05:57,288 --> 00:05:58,256 STRAWBERRY: Burn! 125 00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,396 Wrong... Wrong! 126 00:06:00,419 --> 00:06:02,306 Wro-- Where is he? 127 00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:06,326 Come on, buddy, I gotta get home and climb into bed with my loving wife. 128 00:06:06,349 --> 00:06:08,729 Oh, right. You have a loving wife. 129 00:06:08,746 --> 00:06:11,076 Oh. Marge and I get along perfect. 130 00:06:11,103 --> 00:06:14,651 We're like George Burns and John Denver. 131 00:06:16,393 --> 00:06:18,027 Oh, man! 132 00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:20,977 Carrying these kids is hard on my back. 133 00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:22,673 Oh...! 134 00:06:22,693 --> 00:06:24,081 Oh, yeah! 135 00:06:24,108 --> 00:06:26,108 - And now to Moe's. - Look at him. Look. 136 00:06:26,117 --> 00:06:29,024 He's got family... friends. What do I have? 137 00:06:29,037 --> 00:06:32,476 Oof. Jimmy Olsen vs. Matter Eater Lad. 138 00:06:32,963 --> 00:06:34,990 Hm. This is better than I remembered, actually. 139 00:06:35,006 --> 00:06:37,913 No...! No it isn't! It-It's horrible! 140 00:06:37,942 --> 00:06:38,673 (moans) 141 00:06:38,686 --> 00:06:41,292 The only thing that could make this moment more cliched, 142 00:06:41,304 --> 00:06:43,907 is if I started to sing about my feelings. 143 00:06:43,935 --> 00:06:45,836 And... here I go. 144 00:06:45,856 --> 00:06:48,658 (slow, melancholy intro) 145 00:06:48,672 --> 00:06:51,636 ♪ I've always been happy 146 00:06:51,689 --> 00:06:54,618 ♪ To call myself single 147 00:06:54,646 --> 00:06:56,099 ♪ No Mary Jane 148 00:06:56,127 --> 00:06:57,553 ♪ Or Lois Lane 149 00:06:57,566 --> 00:07:00,891 ♪ With whom I'd co-mingle 150 00:07:01,679 --> 00:07:04,801 ♪ You could say that I was 151 00:07:04,856 --> 00:07:08,287 ♪ An unstackable Pringle 152 00:07:10,609 --> 00:07:13,852 ♪ I've got originals signed 153 00:07:13,871 --> 00:07:17,068 ♪ By Siegel and Shuster 154 00:07:17,092 --> 00:07:19,784 ♪ But they don't satisfy 155 00:07:19,805 --> 00:07:24,021 ♪ In the way that they used-ter ♪ 156 00:07:24,675 --> 00:07:27,794 ♪ It really don't matter if you've got a Cap Anson ♪ 157 00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:30,794 ♪ If you spend your nights in your underwear prancin' ♪ 158 00:07:30,822 --> 00:07:31,922 ♪ With your cardboard stand 159 00:07:31,935 --> 00:07:35,249 ♪ Of Scarlett Johansson! 160 00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,554 (yelling, grunting) 161 00:07:39,430 --> 00:07:42,477 ♪ Guess I've always been lonely ♪ 162 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:45,416 ♪ But I've never revealed it 163 00:07:45,443 --> 00:07:48,607 ♪ Dropped my heart into Mylar 164 00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,726 ♪ And then... (sobs) 165 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:55,970 ♪ Vacuum sealed... it. 166 00:07:57,096 --> 00:07:58,029 (quiet sigh) 167 00:07:59,527 --> 00:08:00,947 Stan Lee! 168 00:08:00,979 --> 00:08:02,912 Or, is it my imagination? 169 00:08:02,929 --> 00:08:04,529 I'm your imagination. 170 00:08:04,559 --> 00:08:06,646 The real Stan Lee's over there. 171 00:08:06,668 --> 00:08:07,972 Excelsior! 172 00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:12,193 But listen, as comic book guys go, 173 00:08:12,219 --> 00:08:15,358 you're trim, friendly, and, quite a catch. 174 00:08:15,384 --> 00:08:16,229 (laughs) 175 00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:19,733 But now... your opportunity is knocking. 176 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:22,669 Huh...?! 177 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,710 Don't let it slip by. 178 00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:28,081 - Can you help me? - I can only watch. 179 00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:30,197 I cannot interfere. 180 00:08:31,179 --> 00:08:33,912 New Radioactive Man number one, please. 181 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,654 Come on, nudnik. Ask her out. 182 00:08:36,673 --> 00:08:38,957 - You're interfering. - Hey, I'm 90 years old. 183 00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:40,668 I can do what I want. 184 00:08:47,898 --> 00:08:49,699 Um... Er... Stammer. Eh... 185 00:08:49,733 --> 00:08:52,373 C-Can I sign you up for our frequent buyer's club? 186 00:08:52,395 --> 00:08:53,956 The Just Us League? 187 00:08:53,977 --> 00:08:57,741 You would be member number 003. I-- I am the first two. 188 00:08:57,767 --> 00:09:01,162 Sure. I am Kumiko Nakamura from Osaka. 189 00:09:01,184 --> 00:09:03,666 I am visiting America's saddest cities, 190 00:09:03,686 --> 00:09:06,697 as research for my autobiographical manga. 191 00:09:07,471 --> 00:09:09,865 Volume Six, Springfield. 192 00:09:09,886 --> 00:09:11,773 Land of Angry Tears. 193 00:09:11,808 --> 00:09:13,466 That's you. 194 00:09:14,017 --> 00:09:17,137 The man with sparkling eyes, and zigzag beard. 195 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,208 - You have seen me before? - Yes. Through window. 196 00:09:20,237 --> 00:09:21,624 But you don't see me. 197 00:09:21,651 --> 00:09:24,964 You're either looking down in disgust, or up in disdain. 198 00:09:24,995 --> 00:09:27,062 I think you have great soul. 199 00:09:27,077 --> 00:09:29,721 Would you permit me to go in the back, and do a brief inventory? 200 00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:32,235 (muffled): She tolerates me! 201 00:09:33,590 --> 00:09:36,835 Ah... Is it too soon to give you flowers in a Hulk hand? 202 00:09:37,107 --> 00:09:39,191 It is the perfect time. 203 00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:41,069 (doorbell rings) 204 00:09:41,291 --> 00:09:42,638 (humming happily) 205 00:09:42,651 --> 00:09:43,485 Hmm? 206 00:09:43,527 --> 00:09:46,267 (yelling): Bart! Your comic vendor's here. 207 00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:48,630 Uh, actually, it is you that I am here to see. 208 00:09:48,645 --> 00:09:50,845 I, um, I need your help. 209 00:09:50,860 --> 00:09:52,876 I am getting ready for a date. (stammers) 210 00:09:52,890 --> 00:09:56,565 The closest thing I have to a father is the Obi-Wan doll in my store. 211 00:09:56,578 --> 00:09:58,900 And he comes from a race of celibate knights. 212 00:09:58,922 --> 00:10:00,682 - So... - I will help you. 213 00:10:00,703 --> 00:10:05,454 As long as our bellies never touch again like they are right now. 214 00:10:05,475 --> 00:10:06,528 BOTH: Ew! 215 00:10:06,563 --> 00:10:07,663 MARGE: Oh...! 216 00:10:07,904 --> 00:10:08,997 Why pick me? 217 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,502 Because you are the only fat man in real life 218 00:10:11,521 --> 00:10:12,989 who ever got a hot woman. 219 00:10:13,008 --> 00:10:14,481 - Hey. - Ooh... (laughs) 220 00:10:14,504 --> 00:10:16,138 Well, come in. 221 00:10:16,166 --> 00:10:17,859 I'll explain how it all works. 222 00:10:17,892 --> 00:10:21,625 Okay. It helps if she's got a mother she's trying to get back at. 223 00:10:21,678 --> 00:10:22,845 MARGE: Aw... 224 00:10:22,879 --> 00:10:26,572 No woman will be able to resist you, dressed like this. 225 00:10:26,610 --> 00:10:29,383 Now, remember, don't be the way you normally are 226 00:10:29,406 --> 00:10:32,039 and sustain that for the rest of your life. 227 00:10:32,074 --> 00:10:35,654 Kumiko, uh, meet my dear friends uh, Homer and Marge Simpson. 228 00:10:35,672 --> 00:10:37,183 I-In my country, it is a tradition 229 00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:39,503 to bring a much older couple on a first date. 230 00:10:39,517 --> 00:10:42,186 It is not in any way, weird, or-or sad. 231 00:10:42,379 --> 00:10:46,689 Does anyone tell you that you look like the man on a box of Mr. Sparkle? 232 00:10:46,702 --> 00:10:49,042 Aka ni taishte burei da! 233 00:10:49,062 --> 00:10:51,707 Yogore o yaburu! 234 00:10:51,727 --> 00:10:55,867 In Japan, drinking your detergent is a popular method of suicide. 235 00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,696 (gasps) Honki da yo?! 236 00:11:01,805 --> 00:11:05,439 Kumiko, for you, we chose the coolest restaurant in town. 237 00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:07,892 But the walls are covered with garbage. 238 00:11:07,910 --> 00:11:09,209 MARGE: Oh... 239 00:11:10,214 --> 00:11:12,681 Not garbage, Americana. 240 00:11:15,004 --> 00:11:18,538 Here's some more Americana, that bubbled up in the swamp. 241 00:11:18,581 --> 00:11:22,954 Here you go: Your All-American Fifty State Potato Skin Sampler. 242 00:11:22,993 --> 00:11:25,620 Okay: Wisconsin, cheddar. 243 00:11:25,636 --> 00:11:27,183 Maryland, blue crab. 244 00:11:27,204 --> 00:11:29,917 They're neither in alphabetical, nor geographical order. 245 00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,967 What-What madness is this? 246 00:11:31,989 --> 00:11:35,936 Please, sir. Ask your questions after all 50 "tates." 247 00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:42,371 I cannot hide the snide inside. 248 00:11:42,392 --> 00:11:43,919 Oh. I don't mind. 249 00:11:43,941 --> 00:11:46,888 If you think it's stupid, say it's stupid. 250 00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:47,736 Really? 251 00:11:47,758 --> 00:11:50,316 In Japan, no one ever says what they think. 252 00:11:50,347 --> 00:11:52,420 We know our game shows are degrading 253 00:11:52,448 --> 00:11:54,483 and our baseball fences are too close. 254 00:11:54,511 --> 00:11:56,225 But no one says anything. 255 00:11:56,251 --> 00:11:56,878 (gasps) 256 00:11:56,898 --> 00:11:58,871 Attention, restaurateurs! (diners murmuring) 257 00:11:58,896 --> 00:12:00,871 You should've spent less on the kitsch, 258 00:12:00,898 --> 00:12:02,874 and more on the kitch-en. 259 00:12:02,898 --> 00:12:05,634 With this bowl of Chuck's Cherokee Salsa, 260 00:12:05,653 --> 00:12:09,146 I baptize you mediocre, at best. 261 00:12:09,165 --> 00:12:10,079 (laughs) 262 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:13,737 American nerd snark is the finest in the world. 263 00:12:13,771 --> 00:12:16,478 Let's go walking and mocking in the rain. 264 00:12:16,499 --> 00:12:17,701 I'm in love! 265 00:12:17,713 --> 00:12:19,921 And, yet, still a little bitter. 266 00:12:20,054 --> 00:12:21,653 It-It's surprising. 267 00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:25,753 (Japanese pop song "Ponponpon" playing) 268 00:12:33,483 --> 00:12:36,410 JIM-JAM BONKS: Father, why-sa you-sa forsake-a me-sa? 269 00:12:39,970 --> 00:12:42,305 ♪ 270 00:12:52,102 --> 00:12:53,571 (applause) 271 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,699 Marge, Homer, you have nurtured our love 272 00:12:59,723 --> 00:13:03,636 like Steven Speilberg nurtured the careers of Zemeckis and Gale. 273 00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:04,662 (sympathetically): Oh... 274 00:13:04,686 --> 00:13:07,794 So, we want you to know, I have decided to move in 275 00:13:07,824 --> 00:13:09,597 to the basement under his store. 276 00:13:09,610 --> 00:13:11,470 At last, we'll be in the same bed. 277 00:13:11,495 --> 00:13:13,308 Just like Batman and Robin. 278 00:13:13,362 --> 00:13:14,912 - HOMER: Ohh... - MARGE: Hmm... 279 00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:18,718 Homer, I want you to take Kumiko 280 00:13:18,737 --> 00:13:21,105 and Comic Book Guy a housewarming present, 281 00:13:21,123 --> 00:13:22,516 and maybe check in on them? 282 00:13:22,533 --> 00:13:24,177 We talked about this, Marge. 283 00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:26,480 The hammock is a chore-free zone. 284 00:13:27,364 --> 00:13:30,313 Apparently, including tying the knots on the hammock. 285 00:13:32,536 --> 00:13:35,379 And getting the termites out of the trees. 286 00:13:36,159 --> 00:13:37,426 (squeaking) 287 00:13:37,460 --> 00:13:38,801 Not a word. 288 00:13:41,558 --> 00:13:43,299 (Japanese accent): Excuse me, sir. 289 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,333 I am looking for my daughter. 290 00:13:45,355 --> 00:13:49,616 I thought this was her residence, but all I see is a store full of, uh, 291 00:13:49,636 --> 00:13:51,576 non-pornographic manga. 292 00:13:51,594 --> 00:13:54,007 (gasps) You're Kumiko's father? 293 00:13:54,029 --> 00:13:55,809 Welcome, sensei. 294 00:13:55,832 --> 00:13:57,539 I am not a Kung fu instructor. 295 00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:00,106 I am a humble salary man who could kick your ass. 296 00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:02,091 Say, has anyone told you you look like-- 297 00:14:02,111 --> 00:14:04,303 I know. Mr. Sparkle. 298 00:14:04,316 --> 00:14:07,343 I was going to say, like you're going to have a stroke. 299 00:14:07,370 --> 00:14:08,137 (laughs) 300 00:14:08,145 --> 00:14:09,544 I get that a lot too. 301 00:14:09,564 --> 00:14:12,213 Now, please, where is my daughter? 302 00:14:12,248 --> 00:14:14,697 Okay. She moved in with her boyfriend. 303 00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:18,187 Well, he's not a boy. He's immature. But, fat and old. 304 00:14:18,206 --> 00:14:22,433 So, an obese nerd has stolen my daughter to live in his basement? 305 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:25,598 - I didn't tell you about the basement. - It was an obvious guess! 306 00:14:25,628 --> 00:14:26,741 (bell dings) 307 00:14:26,757 --> 00:14:27,988 (crying) 308 00:14:29,484 --> 00:14:31,915 Daughter! You are coming back to Japan! 309 00:14:31,941 --> 00:14:35,672 There are 87 old people who need you to take care of them. 310 00:14:35,692 --> 00:14:38,218 No. Please... Please. I was becoming cuddly. 311 00:14:38,247 --> 00:14:40,689 I deleted rants from my blog. 312 00:14:40,716 --> 00:14:43,635 You can retrieve rants if you did not empty your trash. 313 00:14:43,659 --> 00:14:44,746 Goodbye! 314 00:14:52,106 --> 00:14:53,849 Now I know I've got a heart... 315 00:14:54,068 --> 00:14:55,502 because it's breaking. 316 00:14:55,529 --> 00:14:57,216 Wizard of Oz reference! 317 00:14:57,658 --> 00:14:58,791 Did I do that? 318 00:14:58,813 --> 00:15:00,301 Urkle reference! 319 00:15:00,347 --> 00:15:01,714 (panting) Help me. 320 00:15:01,782 --> 00:15:02,915 Fire reference! 321 00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:05,623 (panting): I can't stop. I can't stop. 322 00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:08,926 Homer Simpson, this was your doing. And I want you to fix it. 323 00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:10,862 I have a bad feeling about this! 324 00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:12,969 Every action movie ever made reference! 325 00:15:12,993 --> 00:15:14,074 Now! 326 00:15:16,308 --> 00:15:18,921 Yeah, Homer. We have much in common. 327 00:15:18,939 --> 00:15:22,668 We both love our daughters, and discipline our sons. 328 00:15:22,696 --> 00:15:26,950 No... discipline would imply, I'm trying to make him better. 329 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,382 So... are you married? 330 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,104 (sighs) 331 00:15:29,131 --> 00:15:31,250 My dear Michiko has passed away. 332 00:15:31,270 --> 00:15:33,584 But she's always with me. 333 00:15:33,614 --> 00:15:35,861 You promise double suicide. 334 00:15:35,881 --> 00:15:37,555 You hear what you want to hear. 335 00:15:38,112 --> 00:15:39,931 Always with me. 336 00:15:39,954 --> 00:15:42,133 Another drink! Something stronger! 337 00:15:43,731 --> 00:15:44,834 (creaks) 338 00:15:49,576 --> 00:15:51,746 JAPANESE BARTENDER (dramatically): Snake rice wine. 339 00:15:51,765 --> 00:15:53,428 Now, that's disgusting. 340 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,008 Wine made of rice? 341 00:15:58,979 --> 00:15:59,912 Try some. 342 00:15:59,947 --> 00:16:00,980 Hai. 343 00:16:04,438 --> 00:16:05,404 (hissing) 344 00:16:05,439 --> 00:16:06,499 (Homer slurring drunkenly) 345 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,029 (Mr. Nakamura drunkenly laughs) 346 00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:12,193 (slurring): Why didn't I stop with the snake wine? 347 00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:14,903 Why did I drink the fish wine? 348 00:16:14,921 --> 00:16:16,685 That was the aquarium. 349 00:16:16,723 --> 00:16:18,758 (quiet, gentle melody plays) 350 00:16:24,204 --> 00:16:25,797 (engine humming) 351 00:16:27,007 --> 00:16:27,940 (tires screeching) 352 00:16:38,692 --> 00:16:40,830 You didn't see nothin'. Scram. 353 00:16:40,888 --> 00:16:43,089 ♪ 354 00:17:10,044 --> 00:17:12,045 (clanking) 355 00:17:17,809 --> 00:17:20,206 Uh! I am ruined by whimsy. 356 00:17:22,915 --> 00:17:27,108 MILHOUSE'S VOICE: The good thing is, soon I'll be a beautiful swan. 357 00:17:28,735 --> 00:17:30,289 (cackling) 358 00:17:31,064 --> 00:17:32,064 Aw... 359 00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:33,693 (whimpers) 360 00:17:33,706 --> 00:17:35,220 What's going on here? 361 00:17:35,248 --> 00:17:36,947 BART & LISA: We'll explain it. 362 00:17:36,977 --> 00:17:40,676 The rice wine has penetrated to the essence of your souls. 363 00:17:40,707 --> 00:17:43,234 - Yeah, listen to my tail. - You're the tail! 364 00:17:43,241 --> 00:17:44,601 No... You're the tail. 365 00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:47,651 (yelling): Dad! Bart's feet are on my half of the shell! 366 00:17:47,674 --> 00:17:49,414 (screaming): Why, you slimey little-- 367 00:17:49,427 --> 00:17:50,369 Ow! 368 00:17:50,390 --> 00:17:51,170 (both grunting) 369 00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:51,916 - (grunting) - Ooh. 370 00:17:51,932 --> 00:17:53,465 Hey, that actually feels good. 371 00:17:53,492 --> 00:17:55,345 - (grunting) - Oh, yeah. More. A little bit more. 372 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,695 - (shouting) - Right there. Oh, yeah. 373 00:17:56,716 --> 00:17:58,249 Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. 374 00:17:58,271 --> 00:18:01,687 Enough nonsense! I came here for my daughter! 375 00:18:02,996 --> 00:18:05,834 ♪ I-I am a golden bird 376 00:18:05,846 --> 00:18:08,881 ♪ And I love the comic nerd 377 00:18:08,901 --> 00:18:11,474 ♪ Of this, I won't be cured 378 00:18:11,494 --> 00:18:14,858 ♪ Papa-san, Papa-san. 379 00:18:18,404 --> 00:18:20,305 The monster is me. 380 00:18:20,373 --> 00:18:22,646 Who... 'da thunk it? 381 00:18:22,689 --> 00:18:23,856 (weeping) 382 00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:25,891 (thunder rumbling) 383 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,659 (sighs) 384 00:18:27,672 --> 00:18:29,711 Homer, drinking that snake wine, 385 00:18:29,737 --> 00:18:32,221 and going to White Castle afterwards, 386 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,507 really opened my eyes. 387 00:18:36,656 --> 00:18:39,575 Mr. Nakamura, I have used my hitherto unmentioned 388 00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:42,607 chemical engineering degree to get a real job 389 00:18:42,630 --> 00:18:44,930 at the Springfield Phosphate Works. 390 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,711 They're giant polluters. 391 00:18:46,727 --> 00:18:49,214 But... the CEO is a woman. 392 00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:50,568 It's very vexing. 393 00:18:50,590 --> 00:18:54,277 Now, have I proven myself worthy of your daughter? 394 00:18:54,305 --> 00:18:55,372 (firmly): No. 395 00:18:55,394 --> 00:18:56,847 Please, take your time. 396 00:18:56,870 --> 00:18:59,990 You were worthy! The way you were. 397 00:19:00,146 --> 00:19:01,320 I-- I was? 398 00:19:01,354 --> 00:19:04,141 But I rented the store. I eBayed my stool. 399 00:19:04,154 --> 00:19:05,301 Cancel the sale. 400 00:19:05,325 --> 00:19:07,705 But then my seller rating will go down... 401 00:19:07,724 --> 00:19:09,864 - Stop being nerd! - Yes, Papa-san. 402 00:19:14,608 --> 00:19:16,088 Geekly beloved, 403 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,708 we are gathered here in the eyes of me, 404 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,932 King of the Cameos, Stan Lee. 405 00:19:20,954 --> 00:19:23,741 To celebrate the wedding of, Comic Book Guy, 406 00:19:23,757 --> 00:19:25,850 and Kumiko Nakamura. 407 00:19:25,872 --> 00:19:30,619 Does anyone wish to offer any thoughts, on this blessed occasion? 408 00:19:30,650 --> 00:19:33,163 Yes. (clears throat) I-I-I would like to say something. 409 00:19:33,179 --> 00:19:35,080 Um, since I met Kumiko, 410 00:19:35,114 --> 00:19:38,520 strangely, comic books no longer seem so important. 411 00:19:38,557 --> 00:19:40,738 I will also be selling greeting cards. 412 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,499 And, every day, I will give one to Kumiko in commemoration of today, 413 00:19:44,525 --> 00:19:46,159 with the salutation, 414 00:19:46,192 --> 00:19:48,848 "Best... Day... Ever." 415 00:19:51,868 --> 00:19:54,004 Ghost Wife, are you happy? 416 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,273 Kind of! 417 00:19:55,348 --> 00:19:57,601 (traditional Japanese music playing) 418 00:20:12,186 --> 00:20:15,110 MILHOUSE: How long am I gonna stay this way? 419 00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:18,016 As long as we keep drinkin' this. 420 00:20:18,038 --> 00:20:18,971 (clink) 421 00:20:20,034 --> 00:20:21,288 DOLPH: Give us your eggs. 422 00:20:21,295 --> 00:20:22,588 I'm a boy. 423 00:20:22,614 --> 00:20:24,346 KEARNEY: We said eggs. 424 00:20:28,536 --> 00:20:30,150 (all laughing) 425 00:20:31,871 --> 00:20:32,758 Yes! 426 00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:37,780 Captioning sponsored by 20TH CENTURY FOX TELEVISION and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 427 00:21:19,254 --> 00:21:20,439 Shh!