﻿1
00:01:59,549 --> 00:02:09,287
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

2
00:02:20,738 --> 00:02:22,639
Mawp. Mawp.

3
00:02:22,773 --> 00:02:24,408
Mawp!

4
00:02:25,543 --> 00:02:26,410
Was that a flashbang?

5
00:02:26,544 --> 00:02:27,812
- Sterling?
- Mawp?

6
00:02:27,946 --> 00:02:28,579
Ow!

7
00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:29,553
Do something.

8
00:02:29,614 --> 00:02:31,382
What? I brought roses.

9
00:02:31,516 --> 00:02:35,586
- Jesus, Mother, it's just your birthday, not the...
- About that!

10
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,387
Oh. Duh.

11
00:02:37,522 --> 00:02:38,522
Archer!

12
00:02:38,656 --> 00:02:40,624
Lana!

13
00:02:40,758 --> 00:02:42,626
"Lana!" Ugh.

14
00:02:44,528 --> 00:02:45,462
Not her birthday.

15
00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:48,398
Ah!

16
00:02:48,532 --> 00:02:49,453
No, move!

17
00:02:49,566 --> 00:02:50,433
Get away from us!

18
00:02:50,568 --> 00:02:52,369
Yeah, they're
shooting at you!

19
00:02:52,503 --> 00:02:52,836
Who?

20
00:02:52,970 --> 00:02:54,504
The storm-ninjas!

21
00:02:54,638 --> 00:02:55,372
What?

22
00:02:55,506 --> 00:02:56,546
That's not a thing, idiot!

23
00:02:58,642 --> 00:03:00,343
Oh. I stand corrected.

24
00:03:00,478 --> 00:03:01,444
Son of a...!

25
00:03:01,579 --> 00:03:03,713
Bitches, I am pregnant!

26
00:03:03,847 --> 00:03:05,415
Yes!

27
00:03:05,549 --> 00:03:06,549
Who could forget?

28
00:03:06,684 --> 00:03:08,584
With the bastard spawn
of a total stranger.

29
00:03:08,719 --> 00:03:11,354
Okay, first of all...
Cover your eyes and ears!

30
00:03:11,488 --> 00:03:12,768
You're not
the boss of me!

31
00:03:15,759 --> 00:03:17,559
Meep? Meep?

32
00:03:19,529 --> 00:03:21,463
What's that, Beaker?

33
00:03:21,598 --> 00:03:23,498
Oh, my God, is
Beaker not the best?

34
00:03:23,632 --> 00:03:24,632
Meep, meep, meep!

35
00:03:24,767 --> 00:03:27,368
And wait, what's his, uh...
the name of... Brett!

36
00:03:27,502 --> 00:03:28,636
No, no, no,
leave me alone!

37
00:03:28,770 --> 00:03:29,504
Shut up.

38
00:03:29,638 --> 00:03:30,471
Who's Beaker's boss?

39
00:03:30,606 --> 00:03:31,439
What?

40
00:03:31,574 --> 00:03:32,507
Beaker's boss.

41
00:03:32,641 --> 00:03:36,477
- Goddamn it, I can't hear...
- Brett?

42
00:03:36,611 --> 00:03:39,614
Well, he died doing
what he loved.

43
00:03:39,748 --> 00:03:40,615
Getting shot.

44
00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:41,516
Meep. Meep.

45
00:03:41,651 --> 00:03:42,811
Archer! Who the hell...

46
00:03:42,885 --> 00:03:44,919
Shut up, it's on
the tip of my tongue!

47
00:03:45,053 --> 00:03:46,621
- What is?!
- Beaker's boss!

48
00:03:46,755 --> 00:03:47,655
What?

49
00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:52,393
She meant who the hell are
these guys, you big dumb idiot asshole!

50
00:03:52,527 --> 00:03:53,967
Said the guy
in a wheelchair!

51
00:03:53,995 --> 00:03:54,562
What the...?

52
00:03:54,696 --> 00:03:56,464
I just frickin'
got here, Ray!

53
00:03:56,598 --> 00:03:57,758
How the hell should I...
No...

54
00:03:59,701 --> 00:04:05,739
- No, no, no, no, no, no...
- What, what're you...? Oh.

55
00:04:05,873 --> 00:04:06,606
Oh, boy.

56
00:04:06,741 --> 00:04:07,440
FBI!

57
00:04:07,575 --> 00:04:08,742
Nobody move! FBI!

58
00:04:10,612 --> 00:04:12,880
- Second worst birthday ever.
- What?

59
00:04:13,014 --> 00:04:14,815
How is this better than
your second fake 50th?

60
00:04:14,916 --> 00:04:18,518
Oh, come on, guys,
we talked about this!

61
00:04:18,653 --> 00:04:21,421
You're supposed to yell
"FBI" at the beginning.

62
00:04:21,556 --> 00:04:24,458
After the flashbangs, but before
Other Fat Mike gets shot.

63
00:04:24,592 --> 00:04:25,592
Ow.

64
00:04:25,727 --> 00:04:27,428
And what happened
with getting "FBI"

65
00:04:27,562 --> 00:04:28,662
on the fronts of
the uniforms, huh?

66
00:04:28,796 --> 00:04:29,997
- Ow!
- Huh?

67
00:04:30,131 --> 00:04:31,665
Uh, what happened
with since when the hell

68
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,068
- does the frickin' FBI get off...
- Sterling Archer?

69
00:04:34,202 --> 00:04:34,635
Yes! What?!

70
00:04:34,769 --> 00:04:38,539
I'm Special Agent in Charge Holly,
and you are extremely under arrest.

71
00:04:38,673 --> 00:04:40,441
For what?

72
00:04:40,575 --> 00:04:43,677
Uh, in addition to the
attempted murder of a federal agent?

73
00:04:43,811 --> 00:04:44,745
Yes.

74
00:04:44,879 --> 00:04:47,715
Well, there's gonna be
just a whole bunch of charges,

75
00:04:47,849 --> 00:04:48,782
but mostly treason.

76
00:04:48,917 --> 00:04:49,683
Treason?

77
00:04:49,817 --> 00:04:51,451
What? Archer,
what'd you do?

78
00:04:51,586 --> 00:04:52,707
No, no, not just him.

79
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:53,586
You, too, Miss Kane.

80
00:04:53,721 --> 00:04:54,054
What?!

81
00:04:54,188 --> 00:04:55,522
Yeah. Everybody.

82
00:04:55,656 --> 00:04:56,737
Especially you, Ms. Archer.

83
00:04:56,757 --> 00:04:58,525
Is this about the
fake hydrogen bomb?

84
00:04:58,659 --> 00:05:00,760
- Lana!
- No, but let's put a pin in that.

85
00:05:00,895 --> 00:05:05,599
This is about conducting espionage
operations, for years, with no authority or

86
00:05:05,733 --> 00:05:08,001
permission whatsoever, from
the United States government.

87
00:05:08,803 --> 00:05:09,603
Wait, what?

88
00:05:09,737 --> 00:05:10,637
Mother!

89
00:05:10,771 --> 00:05:12,672
Like, 50 times I
asked you about that!

90
00:05:12,806 --> 00:05:14,707
And like
50 times I lied.

91
00:05:14,842 --> 00:05:15,842
Sue me.

92
00:05:15,976 --> 00:05:17,577
I want my phone call.

93
00:05:17,711 --> 00:05:19,512
Uh, sir?

94
00:05:19,646 --> 00:05:21,614
It's like you said, he's dug
in there like a tick, and...

95
00:05:21,749 --> 00:05:22,615
Never!

96
00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:23,831
You'll never take me alive!

97
00:05:24,986 --> 00:05:27,087
- Okay, breach it.
- Roger that.

98
00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:32,059
On second thought, I very
much prefer to be taken alive.

99
00:05:32,193 --> 00:05:33,627
Just let me clear the ol'

100
00:05:33,761 --> 00:05:35,829
browser history and... No,
no, no, no, no... oof!

101
00:05:35,964 --> 00:05:37,531
Oh, come on!

102
00:05:37,665 --> 00:05:40,734
Ooh, G-man-san.

103
00:05:40,868 --> 00:05:43,603
I'm serious, you are
not putting those on me.

104
00:05:43,737 --> 00:05:46,072
Mr. Archer, please turn around
and place your hands behind your back.

105
00:05:46,206 --> 00:05:47,573
Or what?

106
00:05:47,708 --> 00:05:50,677
What are you gonna do, taser...

107
00:05:54,014 --> 00:05:54,880
Do me! Do me!

108
00:05:55,015 --> 00:05:55,848
Do me, do me, do me!

109
00:05:55,982 --> 00:05:58,617
- I'm not tasering you, so just...
- Do me!

110
00:06:03,757 --> 00:06:05,658
Thank you.

111
00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:06,759
Ugh.

112
00:06:06,894 --> 00:06:08,728
Our tax dollars hard at work.

113
00:06:08,863 --> 00:06:09,729
Well, not mine,

114
00:06:09,864 --> 00:06:11,287
obviously, but...

115
00:06:11,407 --> 00:06:12,866
What's that?

116
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,601
Damn it.

117
00:06:17,029 --> 00:06:17,996
Whatever, Cyril.

118
00:06:18,130 --> 00:06:21,132
I don't care who you are, when
you get zapped with 50,000

119
00:06:21,267 --> 00:06:24,903
- volts, it's like, like...
- Sploosh.

120
00:06:25,038 --> 00:06:30,142
And then it's like wave after wave
crashing over you, into you, and...

121
00:06:30,276 --> 00:06:31,276
Will you shut up?

122
00:06:31,377 --> 00:06:33,879
You shut up. Let her talk.

123
00:06:34,013 --> 00:06:35,880
- You shut up!
- Make me!

124
00:06:38,117 --> 00:06:38,917
Ow! Ow!

125
00:06:39,051 --> 00:06:40,886
- Jesus!
- All of you.

126
00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:43,255
Shut your various holes and
listen to me very carefully.

127
00:06:43,389 --> 00:06:46,391
- Why, so you can tell us more lies?
- Yeah.

128
00:06:47,393 --> 00:06:49,194
So I can save you
from life in prison!

129
00:06:49,296 --> 00:06:53,133
Sorry, Ramona, I know to you it's
just one big sexy briar patch, but...

130
00:06:53,267 --> 00:06:55,001
- You know...
- Zip it!

131
00:06:55,136 --> 00:06:56,903
That goes for all of you!

132
00:06:57,037 --> 00:06:59,005
And when we get in there,
you keep it zipped.

133
00:06:59,139 --> 00:07:01,941
Because there's a chance I
can make this all go away,

134
00:07:02,075 --> 00:07:04,236
but only if you people don't
try to save your own necks

135
00:07:04,244 --> 00:07:05,404
by ratting out everyone else!

136
00:07:07,114 --> 00:07:08,154
Damn it, trust me!

137
00:07:08,281 --> 00:07:10,049
And say nothing!

138
00:07:10,183 --> 00:07:12,985
You heard me, J. Edna.

139
00:07:13,119 --> 00:07:14,253
Not one word.

140
00:07:14,387 --> 00:07:16,989
Well, except
for those three.

141
00:07:17,123 --> 00:07:19,191
- And then those five. And...
- Archer!

142
00:07:19,325 --> 00:07:20,205
Then that one.

143
00:07:20,326 --> 00:07:22,026
I really
shouldn't say anything.

144
00:07:22,161 --> 00:07:25,229
- I mean, unless you can guarantee me...
- Total immunity.

145
00:07:25,364 --> 00:07:27,098
And I
mean from everything.

146
00:07:27,232 --> 00:07:30,067
Including anything
you find on my computer.

147
00:07:30,202 --> 00:07:31,235
Or in my crawlspace.

148
00:07:31,370 --> 00:07:33,972
Oh, and throw
a bone into me.

149
00:07:34,106 --> 00:07:35,006
Excuse me?

150
00:07:35,141 --> 00:07:38,043
I said Ms. Archer had
an affair with the head of

151
00:07:38,177 --> 00:07:40,011
the KGB for, like, 30 years.

152
00:07:40,146 --> 00:07:44,115
Yeah,
until he got blown up.

153
00:07:44,249 --> 00:07:45,370
Which was actually my fault.

154
00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:49,120
Because she was busy having choke-sex
with a murderous cyborg, who then

155
00:07:49,254 --> 00:07:52,156
became the new head of the KGB.

156
00:07:52,290 --> 00:07:55,225
Until I built a sexier
one out of illegal Soviet parts.

157
00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,060
And a corpse.

158
00:07:57,195 --> 00:07:59,963
There was no shortage
of dead bodies around ISIS.

159
00:08:00,097 --> 00:08:02,499
One of which belonged to
the prime minister of goddamn Italy.

160
00:08:02,633 --> 00:08:05,314
- Oh, Jesus, I forgot about the...
- Giant pot farm

161
00:08:05,403 --> 00:08:06,269
in West Virginia.

162
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:09,105
And this whole other
thing with the Yakuza.

163
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,073
Irish Mob.

164
00:08:10,207 --> 00:08:11,607
- Piracy.
- White slavery.

165
00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:13,242
No, actual piracy.

166
00:08:13,377 --> 00:08:14,343
With, like, boats.

167
00:08:14,478 --> 00:08:17,280
I want to say...
Burt Reynolds?

168
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,549
- Poaching alligators...
- Smuggling Mexicans...

169
00:08:19,683 --> 00:08:22,118
- Defiling a corpse...
- Defiling a different corpse...

170
00:08:22,253 --> 00:08:25,121
Kidnapping the Pope...

171
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,123
Faking my own kidnapping!

172
00:08:27,258 --> 00:08:28,124
Arson.

173
00:08:28,259 --> 00:08:29,159
Bumfights!

174
00:08:29,293 --> 00:08:33,096
- You know, like when you pay bums to...
- Destroy an oil pipeline in...

175
00:08:33,231 --> 00:08:34,531
I want
to say Burt Reynolds.

176
00:08:34,666 --> 00:08:36,033
...Turkmenistan?

177
00:08:36,168 --> 00:08:38,002
Odessa. You
know, the ratlines?

178
00:08:38,137 --> 00:08:41,038
Where you make it
look like a murder-suicide, but...

179
00:08:41,173 --> 00:08:44,308
Is it murder if
they were my own clones?

180
00:08:44,443 --> 00:08:46,077
I'm seriously asking.

181
00:08:46,212 --> 00:08:48,379
Oh, because,
speaking of sexual assault...

182
00:08:48,514 --> 00:08:51,081
Which time?

183
00:08:51,216 --> 00:08:53,217
'Cause for one of 'em I
got a pretty good excuse.

184
00:08:53,351 --> 00:08:54,311
Can I stop you?

185
00:08:54,419 --> 00:08:55,285
Please?

186
00:08:55,420 --> 00:08:56,420
That's what he said.

187
00:08:58,222 --> 00:08:59,189
Inappropriate.

188
00:08:59,324 --> 00:09:02,192
Geez, when you just
list everything ISIS has done,

189
00:09:02,326 --> 00:09:04,194
it sounds kind of bad.

190
00:09:04,328 --> 00:09:07,163
- And so if I were you...
- You'd get laid a lot more?

191
00:09:07,298 --> 00:09:09,232
I'd start talking.

192
00:09:09,367 --> 00:09:10,333
Everybody else is!

193
00:09:10,468 --> 00:09:14,070
They're in there right now, saying
he's the brains behind ISIS.

194
00:09:14,204 --> 00:09:16,372
- Ha!
- Exactly, I... Hey, screw you!

195
00:09:16,507 --> 00:09:18,107
Screw you!

196
00:09:18,242 --> 00:09:20,343
Mr. My Mother's A Lying Bitch
And I'm Too Stupid To Realize

197
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:22,078
My Life's A Pathetic Joke!

198
00:09:22,212 --> 00:09:25,214
Oh, nice to meet you,
Mrs. Hello My Kid's From A Sperm

199
00:09:25,349 --> 00:09:28,417
Bank Since I Can't Keep A Man Because
In Addition To My Jillion Neuroses

200
00:09:28,552 --> 00:09:30,252
I Have A Weird-looking Vagina!

201
00:09:33,423 --> 00:09:34,289
Okay, knock it off.

202
00:09:34,424 --> 00:09:35,190
Hey!

203
00:09:37,293 --> 00:09:40,162
I can't believe
they fell for that.

204
00:09:40,297 --> 00:09:42,131
Ahem. Miss what?

205
00:09:42,265 --> 00:09:44,300
Sorry, it-it's not
that weird look... Lana!

206
00:09:45,569 --> 00:09:48,203
Thought you
were gonna shoot me.

207
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:49,438
Day's not over.

208
00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:53,375
And seriously, Lana,
sorry for what I said.

209
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:56,144
Then that's where you say...

210
00:09:56,279 --> 00:09:57,200
Good-bye, Archer.

211
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,147
Where do you
think you're going?

212
00:09:59,282 --> 00:10:01,283
Not to jail with
you and your mother.

213
00:10:01,418 --> 00:10:02,339
Well, you know,

214
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,319
we can ask the judge...

215
00:10:03,453 --> 00:10:04,333
You know prisons

216
00:10:04,388 --> 00:10:05,221
aren't co-ed, right?

217
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,390
Oh. Okay, we got
to get out of here.

218
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:10,359
"We"? There is no
"we" anymore, Archer!

219
00:10:10,493 --> 00:10:12,127
Well, there's this we...

220
00:10:12,262 --> 00:10:13,462
- Uh...
- Oh, shit.

221
00:10:13,596 --> 00:10:15,131
Yeah.

222
00:10:15,265 --> 00:10:16,332
You're gonna be a great mother.

223
00:10:16,466 --> 00:10:18,301
I could start smoking
crack today, and he'd still

224
00:10:18,435 --> 00:10:19,435
turn out better than you.

225
00:10:19,436 --> 00:10:20,436
And why is that?

226
00:10:20,570 --> 00:10:22,338
Because I never had
a father, Lana?

227
00:10:22,472 --> 00:10:25,240
So why don't you shut up,
and then also marry me.

228
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:26,475
What?!

229
00:10:26,609 --> 00:10:30,178
I'm serious-- we can go
underground, get new identities,

230
00:10:30,313 --> 00:10:32,280
and spend the rest of our
lives together, Lana.

231
00:10:32,415 --> 00:10:33,281
We'll be a family.

232
00:10:33,416 --> 00:10:37,486
You, me, the baby and your
not-that-weird-looking vagina.

233
00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:44,158
Okay, don't take this the wrong
way... but I would rather lose the baby.

234
00:10:44,292 --> 00:10:45,392
Wha... I...

235
00:10:45,526 --> 00:10:46,393
Okay, that-that

236
00:10:46,527 --> 00:10:47,493
wasn't...

237
00:10:47,628 --> 00:10:49,195
I didn't...

238
00:10:49,329 --> 00:10:50,196
Excuse me.

239
00:10:59,573 --> 00:11:01,374
Jesus Christ,
come on, you idiot.

240
00:11:03,444 --> 00:11:05,564
"I have read this
statement, each page of which

241
00:11:05,579 --> 00:11:08,348
bears my initials, and I
do hereby certify..."

242
00:11:08,482 --> 00:11:10,416
"That the facts herein
are true and correct,

243
00:11:10,551 --> 00:11:12,619
signed Pamela Poovey."

244
00:11:12,753 --> 00:11:14,154
Cyril Figgis.

245
00:11:14,288 --> 00:11:16,255
"Raymond Q. Gillette."

246
00:11:16,390 --> 00:11:17,511
"Algernop Krieger."

247
00:11:17,558 --> 00:11:20,226
"Cheryl
and/or Carol Tunt."

248
00:11:20,361 --> 00:11:23,163
Now, I would like a
ride home, please.

249
00:11:23,298 --> 00:11:24,659
Preferably in an
Apache helicopter.

250
00:11:24,699 --> 00:11:28,436
And I believe there was some
mention of throwing a bone into me?

251
00:11:28,570 --> 00:11:30,437
What are
you talking about?

252
00:11:30,572 --> 00:11:33,206
A penis in my vagina.

253
00:11:33,341 --> 00:11:37,177
Or wherever, but come on, chop-chop, I
got to go start enjoying my immunity.

254
00:11:37,845 --> 00:11:39,712
Yeah, you said immunity.
I didn't.

255
00:11:39,847 --> 00:11:40,446
Dukes!

256
00:11:40,581 --> 00:11:41,347
God!

257
00:11:41,482 --> 00:11:42,348
Damn it!

258
00:11:42,483 --> 00:11:44,384
So is that a
"no" on the Apache, or...?

259
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,455
Oh, my God,
okay, so this ditz... Oh.

260
00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:51,591
Now
who's the ditz, huh?

261
00:11:51,725 --> 00:11:53,426
Would you just come on?

262
00:11:53,561 --> 00:11:55,362
I'm
seriously asking.

263
00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,197
Aw, but look at him.

264
00:11:57,331 --> 00:11:59,265
All tied up like a sexy
little Christmas ham.

265
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:03,336
And can I just go on record as
saying I think this is an extremely

266
00:12:03,471 --> 00:12:04,404
bad idea?

267
00:12:04,538 --> 00:12:06,439
You know what's a bad idea?
Prison.

268
00:12:06,574 --> 00:12:09,509
Because, spoiler
alert, they're unisex.

269
00:12:09,643 --> 00:12:12,178
Hello, best part.

270
00:12:14,549 --> 00:12:15,482
Yeah?

271
00:12:15,616 --> 00:12:19,319
Uh, uh...
Oh, Clyde?

272
00:12:19,454 --> 00:12:20,554
Clyde, is that you?

273
00:12:20,688 --> 00:12:24,424
It's me, dear, Mrs. J.
Edgar Hoover's mother.

274
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,461
Um... it's open.

275
00:12:28,595 --> 00:12:29,462
Ma'am.

276
00:12:29,597 --> 00:12:31,230
Nobody move!

277
00:12:31,365 --> 00:12:34,233
- Or... 
- What the hell are you doing?

278
00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:35,607
Getting us out of here.

279
00:12:35,735 --> 00:12:37,602
I've already done that.
Let him go.

280
00:12:37,736 --> 00:12:41,405
And you'll just have to put that on my...
whatever... crime tab.

281
00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:43,274
No, no, no, no, no.

282
00:12:43,408 --> 00:12:45,576
Taking a federal agent hostage
is a separate charge.

283
00:12:45,711 --> 00:12:47,511
Oh, well, then
perhaps we should get

284
00:12:47,779 --> 00:12:49,447
him back on the phone.

285
00:12:49,581 --> 00:12:54,319
I... that... I-I don't... There's
no need to bother the... Eh, look.

286
00:12:54,454 --> 00:12:56,615
- If you'll just sign this form...
- Doo, doo, doo.

287
00:12:56,689 --> 00:12:59,391
"In lieu of criminal
prosecutions for..."

288
00:12:59,525 --> 00:13:02,594
Doo, doo, doo... "Treason, I
hereby forfeit ISIS headquarters.

289
00:13:03,730 --> 00:13:08,467
And also agree to permanently cease and
desist any and all ISIS operations."

290
00:13:09,435 --> 00:13:10,335
Oh, my God.

291
00:13:10,470 --> 00:13:13,510
Or face a mandatory sentence of
life in federal prison without parole.

292
00:13:13,607 --> 00:13:15,508
You got
to be kidding me.

293
00:13:15,642 --> 00:13:17,577
"Signed, Malory Archer."

294
00:13:17,711 --> 00:13:18,578
Oh, my God.

295
00:13:18,712 --> 00:13:20,513
No, uh-uh, nope.

296
00:13:20,648 --> 00:13:23,650
Because correct me if I'm
wrong, but that entire document

297
00:13:23,784 --> 00:13:25,585
is completely unenforceable.

298
00:13:25,719 --> 00:13:27,486
I correct you. You are wrong.

299
00:13:27,621 --> 00:13:29,488
For God's sake,
Sterling, it's the government.

300
00:13:29,623 --> 00:13:31,624
Even if it weren't legal,
they'd enforce it.

301
00:13:31,758 --> 00:13:34,427
Hey, save it for four
ninths of the Supreme Court.

302
00:13:34,561 --> 00:13:35,428
Oh, shut up.

303
00:13:35,562 --> 00:13:37,330
And unless there's
anything else?

304
00:13:37,464 --> 00:13:39,498
Uh, just this,
releasing the bureau from any

305
00:13:39,633 --> 00:13:43,602
claims relating to the death of
your employee... Brett, uh, Bunson?

306
00:13:43,737 --> 00:13:44,537
Oh, my God!

307
00:13:44,671 --> 00:13:45,538
What?

308
00:13:45,672 --> 00:13:47,373
Beaker's boss!

309
00:13:47,508 --> 00:13:49,475
Bunsen frickin' Honeydew!

310
00:13:49,609 --> 00:13:50,609
Woooooo!!

311
00:13:52,579 --> 00:13:55,381
That was figuratively
killing me.

312
00:13:59,259 --> 00:14:01,460
I can't believe
they're taking our building.

313
00:14:01,595 --> 00:14:02,595
Screw the building!

314
00:14:02,629 --> 00:14:04,163
What about our jobs?

315
00:14:04,298 --> 00:14:05,498
Oh, and our health insurance.

316
00:14:05,632 --> 00:14:08,134
Which I'm pretty
sure I'm gonna need.

317
00:14:08,268 --> 00:14:09,201
I'll be your doctor.

318
00:14:09,336 --> 00:14:12,305
Well, if I want Hitler's DNA
spliced into him, I'll give you a call.

319
00:14:12,439 --> 00:14:13,479
Yeah, I'm around.

320
00:14:13,574 --> 00:14:17,376
Well, as for me, I think
I'll start shopping my memoirs.

321
00:14:17,510 --> 00:14:18,377
How does the title

322
00:14:18,580 --> 00:14:19,620
Secrets and Silk grab you?

323
00:14:19,645 --> 00:14:21,513
Tightly by my
childhood's throat.

324
00:14:21,648 --> 00:14:24,250
Oh, you're just jealous.

325
00:14:24,384 --> 00:14:26,344
Yeah, jealous
of my fallback career.

326
00:14:26,353 --> 00:14:27,313
As what?

327
00:14:27,387 --> 00:14:28,387
An actual acorn?

328
00:14:28,522 --> 00:14:31,324
As America's
number one country singer.

329
00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:33,359
And kudos.

330
00:14:33,494 --> 00:14:36,495
But for the rest of us trapped
in the realm of possibility...

331
00:14:36,630 --> 00:14:39,165
I'm gonna
be bigger than Mac Davis.

332
00:14:39,299 --> 00:14:41,333
And Mac Davis can
totally suck it.

333
00:14:41,468 --> 00:14:45,470
And you can all suck it because
I am gonna play professional lacrosse.

334
00:14:45,605 --> 00:14:47,272
Okay, even if that were

335
00:14:47,407 --> 00:14:48,240
a real thing...

336
00:14:48,374 --> 00:14:49,274
Is it not?

337
00:14:49,409 --> 00:14:50,569
...you are way too old.

338
00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:53,312
I am not... Oh, my God.
I am way too old.

339
00:14:54,347 --> 00:14:57,249
Welp, hope I'm not too old to
get back into underground fighting.

340
00:14:57,383 --> 00:14:58,217
Darn.

341
00:14:58,351 --> 00:14:59,432
All those jobs are awesome.

342
00:14:59,552 --> 00:15:01,320
And by awesome
you mean delusional.

343
00:15:01,454 --> 00:15:03,455
Because it's gonna
be hard to go back to an

344
00:15:03,589 --> 00:15:04,489
accounting firm after this job.

345
00:15:04,624 --> 00:15:07,492
Especially after Mother
gives you a shitty reference.

346
00:15:07,627 --> 00:15:08,493
Mother, do that.

347
00:15:08,628 --> 00:15:10,462
I meant it'll be boring.

348
00:15:10,596 --> 00:15:14,433
Although, I guess I could always go
back to being a defense attorney.

349
00:15:15,435 --> 00:15:17,403
When were you
ever a lawyer?

350
00:15:17,537 --> 00:15:19,538
Lana, we had
long talks about this.

351
00:15:19,673 --> 00:15:24,210
How I went to night school to pass the
CPA exam because I was so burned out

352
00:15:24,345 --> 00:15:26,446
defending scumbags as
a public defender?

353
00:15:28,382 --> 00:15:29,582
Numerous... long talks.

354
00:15:29,716 --> 00:15:30,583
With me?

355
00:15:30,717 --> 00:15:32,585
Oh, for...

356
00:15:32,719 --> 00:15:34,587
Well, don't come crying to me
when that fatherless kid of

357
00:15:34,721 --> 00:15:38,590
yours buys a gun and steals a car, and
he tries to run but he don't get far!

358
00:15:38,724 --> 00:15:42,260
♪ In the ghetto
where Mac Davis sucks it. ♪

359
00:15:42,394 --> 00:15:43,461
Are you done?

360
00:15:43,596 --> 00:15:45,297
Are you done?!

361
00:15:45,431 --> 00:15:46,598
Again, seriously asking.

362
00:15:46,733 --> 00:15:50,369
Yes. So I guess we
should talk about the elephant

363
00:15:50,504 --> 00:15:55,541
in the room. Namely... What are we gonna
do with literally, not figuratively,

364
00:15:55,675 --> 00:15:58,544
a ton of cocaine?

365
00:15:58,678 --> 00:16:03,349
- Well...
- Wha...? Oh, come on!

366
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:07,320
- What, Lana, we must be talking...
- Wholesale? Uh, 50, 60

367
00:16:07,454 --> 00:16:08,355
million?

368
00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:09,289
Wholesale.

369
00:16:09,424 --> 00:16:10,624
So, what, we form a cartel?

370
00:16:10,758 --> 00:16:12,326
Well, how hard could

371
00:16:12,460 --> 00:16:13,393
it be? I mean...

372
00:16:13,528 --> 00:16:14,294
Don't.

373
00:16:14,428 --> 00:16:16,563
...if
Mexicans can do it.

374
00:16:19,667 --> 00:16:21,267
$50 million, Lana.

375
00:16:21,402 --> 00:16:22,502
We sell this and we're out.

376
00:16:22,636 --> 00:16:23,636
I promise.

377
00:16:23,770 --> 00:16:27,606
Dr. Krieger has devised a way
to transport the cocaine undetected.

378
00:16:27,741 --> 00:16:31,277
You're probably gonna want
to try to minimize the sweating.

379
00:16:31,411 --> 00:16:33,612
We're gonna go ahead and take
the cocaine and the money.

380
00:16:33,713 --> 00:16:35,580
What do you
mean counterfeit?

381
00:16:35,715 --> 00:16:36,548
The Yakuza?

382
00:16:36,683 --> 00:16:37,583
Amphetamines?!

383
00:16:37,717 --> 00:16:40,453
Well, Pam screwed
the Yakuza out of a million

384
00:16:40,587 --> 00:16:42,655
bucks of amphetamines, so now
they're gonna cut her head off.

385
00:16:42,789 --> 00:16:44,623
♪ Baby,
please don't go ♪

386
00:16:44,757 --> 00:16:45,524
Get down!

387
00:16:45,658 --> 00:16:47,426
♪ Baby,
please don't go ♪

388
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:48,393
Ron!

389
00:16:48,528 --> 00:16:50,762
Yeah, this is actually a
little harder than I thought.

390
00:16:50,896 --> 00:16:53,331
Because
I don't fly.

391
00:16:53,466 --> 00:16:56,468
So, you've only got
24 hours to drive to Texas?

392
00:16:58,704 --> 00:17:00,572
Did you tell anybody we were
hauling a shitload of coke?

393
00:17:00,707 --> 00:17:04,310
♪ Yeah, your girl
done gone down to the county farm ♪

394
00:17:04,444 --> 00:17:05,311
Take me with you!

395
00:17:05,445 --> 00:17:07,613
Outlaw country! Woooooo!!

396
00:17:07,748 --> 00:17:09,315
Honey, you're number 14

397
00:17:09,449 --> 00:17:10,516
nationwide.

398
00:17:10,651 --> 00:17:12,452
How bout a big ol'

399
00:17:12,586 --> 00:17:14,520
country welcome for Cherlene!

400
00:17:14,655 --> 00:17:17,735
♪ Before I be your dog get
you way down here make you walk alone

401
00:17:17,825 --> 00:17:19,358
Baby, please don't go ♪

402
00:17:19,493 --> 00:17:20,359
Woooooo!!

403
00:17:20,494 --> 00:17:21,360
Incredible.

404
00:17:21,495 --> 00:17:22,416
I must meet this woman.

405
00:17:22,529 --> 00:17:25,449
Well, what do you think is gonna
happen when three gringos waltz in

406
00:17:25,532 --> 00:17:29,635
and start asking around for the woman
who runs the entire Cali cartel?

407
00:17:29,769 --> 00:17:30,703
Wooohooohooohoooo!!

408
00:17:33,507 --> 00:17:37,443
Are you sure you cannot
make love to me just once more?

409
00:17:37,577 --> 00:17:39,511
Not without a
blood transfusion.

410
00:17:39,646 --> 00:17:40,479
Very well.

411
00:17:40,613 --> 00:17:43,415
Ow! Ow! Ow!

412
00:17:44,684 --> 00:17:46,551
♪ Baby, please
don't go down to New Orleans

413
00:17:46,686 --> 00:17:48,553
You know I love you so
Baby, please don't go ♪

414
00:17:48,688 --> 00:17:51,423
You're doing the exact thing
you promised me you wouldn't!

415
00:17:51,557 --> 00:17:52,791
I was kidding.

416
00:17:52,925 --> 00:17:55,726
♪ Before I be
your dog Before I be your dog ♪

417
00:17:55,861 --> 00:17:57,595
Welcome to San Marcos.

418
00:17:57,729 --> 00:17:59,597
♪ Before I be
your dog get you way down here

419
00:17:59,731 --> 00:18:00,691
And let you walk alone ♪

420
00:18:00,766 --> 00:18:01,766
So, couple things.

421
00:18:01,767 --> 00:18:02,688
Oh, goddamn it.

422
00:18:02,801 --> 00:18:04,368
Did you fart in that?

423
00:18:04,503 --> 00:18:06,504
♪ You know
how I feel right now? ♪

424
00:18:07,539 --> 00:18:09,373
♪ My baby's leaving

425
00:18:09,507 --> 00:18:11,509
♪ On that midnight
train

426
00:18:11,643 --> 00:18:13,544
♪ And I'm crying
Suppressing fire!

427
00:18:13,678 --> 00:18:16,380
♪ Baby,
please don't go ♪

428
00:18:16,514 --> 00:18:17,381
Goddamn it, Cyril!

429
00:18:17,515 --> 00:18:18,715
♪ Baby,
please don't go

430
00:18:18,850 --> 00:18:19,771
Baby, please don't go ♪

431
00:18:19,784 --> 00:18:21,651
You're running
out of options, Archer.

432
00:18:21,786 --> 00:18:23,653
♪ Baby,
please don't go ♪

433
00:18:23,788 --> 00:18:24,654
I want Archer dead!

434
00:18:24,788 --> 00:18:26,689
♪ Baby, please
don't go down to New Orleans

435
00:18:26,824 --> 00:18:28,691
You know I love you so
Baby, please don't go ♪

436
00:18:28,825 --> 00:18:31,694
I think you just stumbled
backwards into a CIA arms deal.

437
00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:35,498
They kidnapped Cherlene!

438
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:36,766
Archer!

439
00:18:36,901 --> 00:18:38,769
We just started
a frickin' coup!

440
00:18:38,903 --> 00:18:39,770
♪ Before I be

441
00:18:39,904 --> 00:18:40,771
your dog get you way down here

442
00:18:40,906 --> 00:18:42,406
Make you walk alone

443
00:18:42,541 --> 00:18:43,407
Baby, please don't go, yeah ♪

444
00:18:43,542 --> 00:18:45,409
Archer, my
water just broke.

445
00:18:45,544 --> 00:18:46,824
♪ All right now. ♪

446
00:18:46,912 --> 00:18:49,680
And for what it's worth, I'm
pretty sure I just invaded Laos.

447
00:18:50,816 --> 00:18:56,454
And, Chi, I swear to God, mention the
compass again and just see what happens.

448
00:18:57,590 --> 00:18:59,404
Archer Vice.

449
00:18:59,524 --> 00:19:00,092
What?

450
00:19:00,212 --> 00:19:01,469
Nothing.

451
00:19:01,829 --> 00:19:03,281
Shut up.

452
00:19:03,939 --> 00:19:14,333
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

