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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Re-sync & minor adjustments by WTFX
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Mawp. Mawp.
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Mawp!
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Was that a flashbang?
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- Sterling?
- Mawp?
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Ow!
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Do something.
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What? I brought roses.
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- Jesus, Mother, it's just your birthday, not the...
- About that!
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Oh. Duh.
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Archer!
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Lana!
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"Lana!" Ugh.
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Not her birthday.
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Ah!
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No, move!
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Get away from us!
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Yeah, they're
shooting at you!
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Who?
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The storm-ninjas!
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What?
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That's not a thing, idiot!
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Oh. I stand corrected.
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Son of a...!
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Bitches, I am pregnant!
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Yes!
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Who could forget?
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With the bastard spawn
of a total stranger.
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00:03:10,119 --> 00:03:12,754
Okay, first of all...
Cover your eyes and ears!
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You're not
the boss of me!
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Meep? Meep?
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00:03:20,629 --> 00:03:22,563
What's that, Beaker?
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00:03:22,798 --> 00:03:24,698
Oh, my God, is
Beaker not the best?
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00:03:24,832 --> 00:03:25,832
Meep, meep, meep!
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00:03:25,967 --> 00:03:28,568
And wait, what's his, uh...
the name of... Brett!
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00:03:29,002 --> 00:03:30,336
No, no, no,
leave me alone!
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Shut up.
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Who's Beaker's boss?
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What?
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Beaker's boss.
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- Goddamn it, I can't hear...
- Brett?
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Well, he died doing
what he loved.
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Getting shot.
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Meep. Meep.
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Archer! Who the hell...
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Shut up, it's on
the tip of my tongue!
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- What is?!
- Beaker's boss!
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What?
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00:03:49,290 --> 00:03:53,893
She meant who the hell are
these guys, you big dumb idiot asshole!
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Said the guy
in a wheelchair!
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00:03:55,495 --> 00:03:56,062
What the...?
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I just frickin'
got here, Ray!
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How the hell should I...
No...
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00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:07,239
- No, no, no, no, no, no...
- What, what're you...? Oh.
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Oh, boy.
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FBI!
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00:04:09,075 --> 00:04:10,242
Nobody move! FBI!
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00:04:11,512 --> 00:04:14,180
- Second worst birthday ever.
- What?
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00:04:14,314 --> 00:04:16,415
How is this better than
your second fake 50th?
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00:04:16,516 --> 00:04:19,918
Oh, come on, guys,
we talked about this!
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00:04:19,953 --> 00:04:22,754
You're supposed to yell
"FBI" at the beginning.
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00:04:22,755 --> 00:04:25,958
After the flashbangs, but before
Other Fat Mike gets shot.
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Ow.
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00:04:27,127 --> 00:04:28,828
And what happened
with getting "FBI"
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on the fronts of
the uniforms, huh?
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- Ow!
- Huh?
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00:04:31,431 --> 00:04:32,965
Uh, what happened
with since when the hell
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- does the frickin' FBI get off...
- Sterling Archer?
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00:04:35,502 --> 00:04:35,935
Yes! What?!
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00:04:36,069 --> 00:04:39,839
I'm Special Agent in Charge Holly,
and you are extremely under arrest.
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00:04:39,973 --> 00:04:41,741
For what?
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Uh, in addition to the
attempted murder of a federal agent?
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00:04:45,511 --> 00:04:46,445
Yes.
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Well, there's gonna be
just a whole bunch of charges,
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but mostly treason.
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Treason?
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00:04:51,317 --> 00:04:52,951
What? Archer,
what'd you do?
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00:04:52,986 --> 00:04:53,907
No, no, not just him.
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You, too, Miss Kane.
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What?!
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00:04:55,488 --> 00:04:56,822
Yeah. Everybody.
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Especially you, Ms. Archer.
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00:04:58,157 --> 00:04:59,925
Is this about the
fake hydrogen bomb?
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00:05:00,059 --> 00:05:02,160
- Lana!
- No, but let's put a pin in that.
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00:05:02,195 --> 00:05:06,899
This is about conducting espionage
operations, for years, with no authority or
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00:05:07,033 --> 00:05:10,101
permission whatsoever, from
the United States government.
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Wait, what?
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00:05:11,137 --> 00:05:12,037
Mother!
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00:05:12,071 --> 00:05:14,072
Like, 50 times I
asked you about that!
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00:05:14,306 --> 00:05:16,207
And like
50 times I lied.
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Sue me.
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I want my phone call.
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00:05:19,211 --> 00:05:20,912
Uh, sir?
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00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:23,114
It's like you said, he's dug
in there like a tick, and...
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00:05:23,149 --> 00:05:24,015
Never!
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00:05:24,150 --> 00:05:25,631
You'll never take me alive!
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00:05:26,786 --> 00:05:28,887
- Okay, breach it.
- Roger that.
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00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:33,459
On second thought, I very
much prefer to be taken alive.
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00:05:33,593 --> 00:05:35,027
Just let me clear the ol'
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00:05:35,161 --> 00:05:37,229
browser history and... No,
no, no, no, no... oof!
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00:05:37,364 --> 00:05:38,931
Oh, come on!
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00:05:39,065 --> 00:05:42,134
Ooh, G-man-san.
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00:05:42,268 --> 00:05:45,003
I'm serious, you are
not putting those on me.
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00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:47,472
Mr. Archer, please turn around
and place your hands behind your back.
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Or what?
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00:05:49,108 --> 00:05:52,077
What are you gonna do, taser...
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Do me! Do me!
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Do me, do me, do me!
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- I'm not tasering you, so just...
- Do me!
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00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:06,858
Thank you.
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00:06:06,993 --> 00:06:08,159
Ugh.
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00:06:08,194 --> 00:06:10,028
Our tax dollars hard at work.
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00:06:10,463 --> 00:06:11,629
Well, not mine,
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00:06:11,764 --> 00:06:12,887
obviously, but...
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What's that?
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Damn it.
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Whatever, Cyril.
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I don't care who you are, when
you get zapped with 50,000
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- volts, it's like, like...
- Sploosh.
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00:06:28,238 --> 00:06:33,342
And then it's like wave after wave
crashing over you, into you, and...
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Will you shut up?
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You shut up. Let her talk.
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- You shut up!
- Make me!
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Ow! Ow!
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- Jesus!
- All of you.
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Shut your various holes and
listen to me very carefully.
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- Why, so you can tell us more lies?
- Yeah.
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00:06:50,593 --> 00:06:52,394
So I can save you
from life in prison!
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00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:56,333
Sorry, Ramona, I know to you it's
just one big sexy briar patch, but...
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- You know...
- Zip it!
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That goes for all of you!
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And when we get in there,
you keep it zipped.
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00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:05,141
Because there's a chance I
can make this all go away,
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00:07:05,275 --> 00:07:07,436
but only if you people don't
try to save your own necks
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00:07:07,444 --> 00:07:08,604
by ratting out everyone else!
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00:07:10,314 --> 00:07:11,354
Damn it, trust me!
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And say nothing!
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You heard me, J. Edna.
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Not one word.
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00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:20,189
Well, except
for those three.
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00:07:20,323 --> 00:07:22,391
- And then those five. And...
- Archer!
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Then that one.
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00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,226
I really
shouldn't say anything.
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00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:28,429
- I mean, unless you can guarantee me...
- Total immunity.
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00:07:28,564 --> 00:07:30,298
And I
mean from everything.
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00:07:30,432 --> 00:07:33,267
Including anything
you find on my computer.
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00:07:33,402 --> 00:07:34,435
Or in my crawlspace.
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00:07:34,570 --> 00:07:37,172
Oh, and throw
a bone into me.
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00:07:37,306 --> 00:07:38,206
Excuse me?
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00:07:38,341 --> 00:07:41,243
I said Ms. Archer had
an affair with the head of
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00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:43,211
the KGB for, like, 30 years.
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00:07:43,346 --> 00:07:47,315
Yeah,
until he got blown up.
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Which was actually my fault.
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Because she was busy having choke-sex
with a murderous cyborg, who then
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00:07:52,454 --> 00:07:55,356
became the new head of the KGB.
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00:07:55,490 --> 00:07:58,425
Until I built a sexier
one out of illegal Soviet parts.
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And a corpse.
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00:08:00,395 --> 00:08:03,163
There was no shortage
of dead bodies around ISIS.
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00:08:03,297 --> 00:08:05,699
One of which belonged to
the prime minister of goddamn Italy.
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00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:08,514
- Oh, Jesus, I forgot about the...
- Giant pot farm
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00:08:08,603 --> 00:08:09,469
in West Virginia.
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00:08:09,603 --> 00:08:12,305
And this whole other
thing with the Yakuza.
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Irish Mob.
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- Piracy.
- White slavery.
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No, actual piracy.
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With, like, boats.
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00:08:17,678 --> 00:08:20,480
I want to say...
Burt Reynolds?
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00:08:20,614 --> 00:08:22,749
- Poaching alligators...
- Smuggling Mexicans...
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00:08:22,883 --> 00:08:25,318
- Defiling a corpse...
- Defiling a different corpse...
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00:08:25,453 --> 00:08:28,321
Kidnapping the Pope...
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Faking my own kidnapping!
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Arson.
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Bumfights!
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00:08:32,493 --> 00:08:36,296
- You know, like when you pay bums to...
- Destroy an oil pipeline in...
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00:08:36,431 --> 00:08:37,731
I want
to say Burt Reynolds.
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00:08:37,866 --> 00:08:39,233
...Turkmenistan?
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00:08:39,368 --> 00:08:41,202
Odessa. You
know, the ratlines?
179
00:08:41,337 --> 00:08:44,238
Where you make it
look like a murder-suicide, but...
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00:08:44,373 --> 00:08:47,508
Is it murder if
they were my own clones?
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I'm seriously asking.
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00:08:49,412 --> 00:08:51,579
Oh, because,
speaking of sexual assault...
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00:08:51,714 --> 00:08:54,281
Which time?
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00:08:54,416 --> 00:08:56,417
'Cause for one of 'em I
got a pretty good excuse.
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00:08:56,551 --> 00:08:57,511
Can I stop you?
186
00:08:57,619 --> 00:08:58,485
Please?
187
00:08:58,620 --> 00:08:59,620
That's what he said.
188
00:09:01,422 --> 00:09:02,389
Inappropriate.
189
00:09:02,524 --> 00:09:05,392
Geez, when you just
list everything ISIS has done,
190
00:09:05,526 --> 00:09:07,394
it sounds kind of bad.
191
00:09:07,528 --> 00:09:10,363
- And so if I were you...
- You'd get laid a lot more?
192
00:09:10,498 --> 00:09:12,432
I'd start talking.
193
00:09:12,567 --> 00:09:13,533
Everybody else is!
194
00:09:13,668 --> 00:09:17,270
They're in there right now, saying
he's the brains behind ISIS.
195
00:09:17,404 --> 00:09:19,572
- Ha!
- Exactly, I... Hey, screw you!
196
00:09:19,707 --> 00:09:21,307
Screw you!
197
00:09:21,442 --> 00:09:23,543
Mr. My Mother's A Lying Bitch
And I'm Too Stupid To Realize
198
00:09:23,677 --> 00:09:25,278
My Life's A Pathetic Joke!
199
00:09:25,412 --> 00:09:28,414
Oh, nice to meet you,
Mrs. Hello My Kid's From A Sperm
200
00:09:28,549 --> 00:09:31,617
Bank Since I Can't Keep A Man Because
In Addition To My Jillion Neuroses
201
00:09:31,752 --> 00:09:33,452
I Have A Weird-looking Vagina!
202
00:09:36,623 --> 00:09:37,489
Okay, knock it off.
203
00:09:37,624 --> 00:09:38,390
Hey!
204
00:09:40,493 --> 00:09:43,362
I can't believe
they fell for that.
205
00:09:43,497 --> 00:09:45,331
Ahem. Miss what?
206
00:09:45,465 --> 00:09:47,500
Sorry, it-it's not
that weird look... Lana!
207
00:09:48,769 --> 00:09:51,403
Thought you
were gonna shoot me.
208
00:09:51,538 --> 00:09:52,638
Day's not over.
209
00:09:52,772 --> 00:09:56,575
And seriously, Lana,
sorry for what I said.
210
00:09:56,710 --> 00:09:59,344
Then that's where you say...
211
00:09:59,479 --> 00:10:00,400
Good-bye, Archer.
212
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,347
Where do you
think you're going?
213
00:10:02,482 --> 00:10:04,483
Not to jail with
you and your mother.
214
00:10:04,618 --> 00:10:05,539
Well, you know,
215
00:10:05,552 --> 00:10:06,519
we can ask the judge...
216
00:10:06,653 --> 00:10:07,533
You know prisons
217
00:10:07,588 --> 00:10:08,421
aren't co-ed, right?
218
00:10:08,555 --> 00:10:10,590
Oh. Okay, we got
to get out of here.
219
00:10:10,724 --> 00:10:13,559
"We"? There is no
"we" anymore, Archer!
220
00:10:13,693 --> 00:10:15,327
Well, there's this we...
221
00:10:15,462 --> 00:10:16,662
- Uh...
- Oh, shit.
222
00:10:16,796 --> 00:10:18,331
Yeah.
223
00:10:18,465 --> 00:10:19,532
You're gonna be a great mother.
224
00:10:19,666 --> 00:10:21,501
I could start smoking
crack today, and he'd still
225
00:10:21,635 --> 00:10:22,635
turn out better than you.
226
00:10:22,636 --> 00:10:23,636
And why is that?
227
00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:25,538
Because I never had
a father, Lana?
228
00:10:25,672 --> 00:10:28,440
So why don't you shut up,
and then also marry me.
229
00:10:28,575 --> 00:10:29,675
What?!
230
00:10:29,809 --> 00:10:33,378
I'm serious-- we can go
underground, get new identities,
231
00:10:33,513 --> 00:10:35,480
and spend the rest of our
lives together, Lana.
232
00:10:35,615 --> 00:10:36,481
We'll be a family.
233
00:10:36,616 --> 00:10:40,686
You, me, the baby and your
not-that-weird-looking vagina.
234
00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:47,358
Okay, don't take this the wrong
way... but I would rather lose the baby.
235
00:10:47,492 --> 00:10:48,592
Wha... I...
236
00:10:48,726 --> 00:10:49,593
Okay, that-that
237
00:10:49,727 --> 00:10:50,693
wasn't...
238
00:10:50,828 --> 00:10:52,395
I didn't...
239
00:10:52,529 --> 00:10:53,396
Excuse me.
240
00:11:02,773 --> 00:11:04,574
Jesus Christ,
come on, you idiot.
241
00:11:06,644 --> 00:11:08,764
"I have read this
statement, each page of which
242
00:11:08,779 --> 00:11:11,548
bears my initials, and I
do hereby certify..."
243
00:11:11,682 --> 00:11:13,616
"That the facts herein
are true and correct,
244
00:11:13,751 --> 00:11:15,819
signed Pamela Poovey."
245
00:11:15,953 --> 00:11:17,354
Cyril Figgis.
246
00:11:17,488 --> 00:11:19,455
"Raymond Q. Gillette."
247
00:11:19,590 --> 00:11:20,711
"Algernop Krieger."
248
00:11:20,758 --> 00:11:23,426
"Cheryl
and/or Carol Tunt."
249
00:11:23,561 --> 00:11:26,363
Now, I would like a
ride home, please.
250
00:11:26,498 --> 00:11:27,859
Preferably in an
Apache helicopter.
251
00:11:27,899 --> 00:11:31,636
And I believe there was some
mention of throwing a bone into me?
252
00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:33,637
What are
you talking about?
253
00:11:33,772 --> 00:11:36,406
A penis in my vagina.
254
00:11:36,541 --> 00:11:40,377
Or wherever, but come on, chop-chop, I
got to go start enjoying my immunity.
255
00:11:41,045 --> 00:11:42,912
Yeah, you said immunity.
I didn't.
256
00:11:43,047 --> 00:11:43,646
Dukes!
257
00:11:43,781 --> 00:11:44,547
God!
258
00:11:44,682 --> 00:11:45,548
Damn it!
259
00:11:45,683 --> 00:11:47,584
So is that a
"no" on the Apache, or...?
260
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,655
Oh, my God,
okay, so this ditz... Oh.
261
00:11:52,790 --> 00:11:54,791
Now
who's the ditz, huh?
262
00:11:54,925 --> 00:11:56,626
Would you just come on?
263
00:11:56,761 --> 00:11:58,562
I'm
seriously asking.
264
00:11:58,696 --> 00:12:00,397
Aw, but look at him.
265
00:12:00,531 --> 00:12:02,465
All tied up like a sexy
little Christmas ham.
266
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:06,536
And can I just go on record as
saying I think this is an extremely
267
00:12:06,671 --> 00:12:07,604
bad idea?
268
00:12:07,738 --> 00:12:09,639
You know what's a bad idea?
Prison.
269
00:12:09,774 --> 00:12:12,709
Because, spoiler
alert, they're unisex.
270
00:12:12,843 --> 00:12:15,378
Hello, best part.
271
00:12:17,749 --> 00:12:18,682
Yeah?
272
00:12:18,816 --> 00:12:22,519
Uh, uh...
Oh, Clyde?
273
00:12:22,654 --> 00:12:23,754
Clyde, is that you?
274
00:12:23,888 --> 00:12:27,624
It's me, dear, Mrs. J.
Edgar Hoover's mother.
275
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,661
Um... it's open.
276
00:12:31,795 --> 00:12:32,662
Ma'am.
277
00:12:32,797 --> 00:12:34,430
Nobody move!
278
00:12:34,465 --> 00:12:36,933
- Or...
- What the hell are you doing?
279
00:12:37,067 --> 00:12:38,507
Getting us out of here.
280
00:12:38,635 --> 00:12:40,502
I've already done that.
Let him go.
281
00:12:40,936 --> 00:12:44,805
And you'll just have to put that on my...
whatever... crime tab.
282
00:12:44,891 --> 00:12:46,274
No, no, no, no, no.
283
00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:48,476
Taking a federal agent hostage
is a separate charge.
284
00:12:48,911 --> 00:12:50,911
Oh, well, then
perhaps we should get
285
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,647
him back on the phone.
286
00:12:52,781 --> 00:12:57,519
I... that... I-I don't... There's
no need to bother the... Eh, look.
287
00:12:57,654 --> 00:12:59,815
- If you'll just sign this form...
- Doo, doo, doo.
288
00:12:59,889 --> 00:13:02,591
"In lieu of criminal
prosecutions for..."
289
00:13:02,725 --> 00:13:05,794
Doo, doo, doo... "Treason, I
hereby forfeit ISIS headquarters.
290
00:13:06,930 --> 00:13:11,667
And also agree to permanently cease and
desist any and all ISIS operations."
291
00:13:12,635 --> 00:13:13,535
Oh, my God.
292
00:13:13,670 --> 00:13:16,710
Or face a mandatory sentence of
life in federal prison without parole.
293
00:13:16,807 --> 00:13:18,708
You got
to be kidding me.
294
00:13:18,842 --> 00:13:20,777
"Signed, Malory Archer."
295
00:13:20,911 --> 00:13:21,778
Oh, my God.
296
00:13:21,912 --> 00:13:23,713
No, uh-uh, nope.
297
00:13:23,848 --> 00:13:26,850
Because correct me if I'm
wrong, but that entire document
298
00:13:26,984 --> 00:13:28,785
is completely unenforceable.
299
00:13:28,919 --> 00:13:30,686
I correct you. You are wrong.
300
00:13:30,821 --> 00:13:32,688
For God's sake,
Sterling, it's the government.
301
00:13:32,823 --> 00:13:34,824
Even if it weren't legal,
they'd enforce it.
302
00:13:34,958 --> 00:13:37,627
Hey, save it for four
ninths of the Supreme Court.
303
00:13:37,761 --> 00:13:38,628
Oh, shut up.
304
00:13:38,762 --> 00:13:40,530
And unless there's
anything else?
305
00:13:40,664 --> 00:13:42,698
Uh, just this,
releasing the bureau from any
306
00:13:42,833 --> 00:13:46,802
claims relating to the death of
your employee... Brett, uh, Bunson?
307
00:13:46,937 --> 00:13:47,737
Oh, my God!
308
00:13:47,871 --> 00:13:48,738
What?
309
00:13:48,872 --> 00:13:50,573
Beaker's boss!
310
00:13:50,708 --> 00:13:52,675
Bunsen frickin' Honeydew!
311
00:13:52,809 --> 00:13:53,809
Woooooo!!
312
00:13:55,779 --> 00:13:58,581
That was figuratively
killing me.
313
00:14:03,459 --> 00:14:05,660
I can't believe
they're taking our building.
314
00:14:05,795 --> 00:14:06,795
Screw the building!
315
00:14:06,829 --> 00:14:08,363
What about our jobs?
316
00:14:08,498 --> 00:14:09,698
Oh, and our health insurance.
317
00:14:09,832 --> 00:14:12,334
Which I'm pretty
sure I'm gonna need.
318
00:14:12,468 --> 00:14:13,401
I'll be your doctor.
319
00:14:13,536 --> 00:14:16,505
Well, if I want Hitler's DNA
spliced into him, I'll give you a call.
320
00:14:16,639 --> 00:14:17,679
Yeah, I'm around.
321
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:21,576
Well, as for me, I think
I'll start shopping my memoirs.
322
00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:22,577
How does the title
323
00:14:22,780 --> 00:14:23,820
Secrets and Silk grab you?
324
00:14:23,845 --> 00:14:25,713
Tightly by my
childhood's throat.
325
00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:28,450
Oh, you're just jealous.
326
00:14:28,584 --> 00:14:30,544
Yeah, jealous
of my fallback career.
327
00:14:30,553 --> 00:14:31,513
As what?
328
00:14:31,587 --> 00:14:32,587
An actual acorn?
329
00:14:32,722 --> 00:14:35,524
As America's
number one country singer.
330
00:14:35,658 --> 00:14:37,559
And kudos.
331
00:14:37,694 --> 00:14:40,695
But for the rest of us trapped
in the realm of possibility...
332
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:43,365
I'm gonna
be bigger than Mac Davis.
333
00:14:43,499 --> 00:14:45,533
And Mac Davis can
totally suck it.
334
00:14:45,668 --> 00:14:49,670
And you can all suck it because
I am gonna play professional lacrosse.
335
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,472
Okay, even if that were
336
00:14:51,607 --> 00:14:52,440
a real thing...
337
00:14:52,574 --> 00:14:53,474
Is it not?
338
00:14:53,609 --> 00:14:54,769
...you are way too old.
339
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:57,512
I am not... Oh, my God.
I am way too old.
340
00:14:58,547 --> 00:15:01,449
Welp, hope I'm not too old to
get back into underground fighting.
341
00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:02,417
Darn.
342
00:15:02,551 --> 00:15:03,632
All those jobs are awesome.
343
00:15:03,752 --> 00:15:05,520
And by awesome
you mean delusional.
344
00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:07,655
Because it's gonna
be hard to go back to an
345
00:15:07,789 --> 00:15:08,689
accounting firm after this job.
346
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:11,692
Especially after Mother
gives you a shitty reference.
347
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:12,693
Mother, do that.
348
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:14,662
I meant it'll be boring.
349
00:15:14,796 --> 00:15:18,633
Although, I guess I could always go
back to being a defense attorney.
350
00:15:19,635 --> 00:15:21,603
When were you
ever a lawyer?
351
00:15:21,737 --> 00:15:23,738
Lana, we had
long talks about this.
352
00:15:23,873 --> 00:15:28,410
How I went to night school to pass the
CPA exam because I was so burned out
353
00:15:28,545 --> 00:15:30,646
defending scumbags as
a public defender?
354
00:15:32,582 --> 00:15:33,782
Numerous... long talks.
355
00:15:33,916 --> 00:15:34,783
With me?
356
00:15:34,917 --> 00:15:36,785
Oh, for...
357
00:15:36,919 --> 00:15:38,787
Well, don't come crying to me
when that fatherless kid of
358
00:15:38,921 --> 00:15:42,790
yours buys a gun and steals a car, and
he tries to run but he don't get far!
359
00:15:42,924 --> 00:15:46,460
♪ In the ghetto
where Mac Davis sucks it. ♪
360
00:15:46,594 --> 00:15:47,661
Are you done?
361
00:15:47,796 --> 00:15:49,497
Are you done?!
362
00:15:49,631 --> 00:15:50,798
Again, seriously asking.
363
00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:54,569
Yes. So I guess we
should talk about the elephant
364
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:59,741
in the room. Namely... What are we gonna
do with literally, not figuratively,
365
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:02,744
a ton of cocaine?
366
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:07,549
- Well...
- Wha...? Oh, come on!
367
00:16:07,684 --> 00:16:11,520
- What, Lana, we must be talking...
- Wholesale? Uh, 50, 60
368
00:16:11,654 --> 00:16:12,555
million?
369
00:16:12,689 --> 00:16:13,489
Wholesale.
370
00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:14,824
So, what, we form a cartel?
371
00:16:14,958 --> 00:16:16,526
Well, how hard could
372
00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:17,593
it be? I mean...
373
00:16:17,728 --> 00:16:18,494
Don't.
374
00:16:18,628 --> 00:16:20,763
...if
Mexicans can do it.
375
00:16:23,867 --> 00:16:25,467
$50 million, Lana.
376
00:16:25,602 --> 00:16:26,702
We sell this and we're out.
377
00:16:26,836 --> 00:16:27,836
I promise.
378
00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:31,806
Dr. Krieger has devised a way
to transport the cocaine undetected.
379
00:16:31,941 --> 00:16:35,477
You're probably gonna want
to try to minimize the sweating.
380
00:16:35,611 --> 00:16:37,812
We're gonna go ahead and take
the cocaine and the money.
381
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,780
What do you
mean counterfeit?
382
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:40,748
The Yakuza?
383
00:16:40,883 --> 00:16:41,783
Amphetamines?!
384
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,653
Well, Pam screwed
the Yakuza out of a million
385
00:16:44,787 --> 00:16:46,855
bucks of amphetamines, so now
they're gonna cut her head off.
386
00:16:46,989 --> 00:16:48,823
♪ Baby,
please don't go ♪
387
00:16:48,957 --> 00:16:49,724
Get down!
388
00:16:49,858 --> 00:16:51,626
♪ Baby,
please don't go ♪
389
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:52,593
Ron!
390
00:16:52,728 --> 00:16:54,962
Yeah, this is actually a
little harder than I thought.
391
00:16:55,096 --> 00:16:57,531
Because
I don't fly.
392
00:16:57,866 --> 00:17:00,868
So, you've only got
24 hours to drive to Texas?
393
00:17:03,004 --> 00:17:05,772
Did you tell anybody we were
hauling a shitload of coke?
394
00:17:05,907 --> 00:17:07,610
♪ Yeah, your girl
done gone down to the county farm ♪
395
00:17:07,844 --> 00:17:09,311
Take me with you!
396
00:17:09,345 --> 00:17:11,313
Outlaw country! Woooooo!!
397
00:17:11,848 --> 00:17:13,415
Honey, you're number 14
398
00:17:13,549 --> 00:17:14,716
nationwide.
399
00:17:14,751 --> 00:17:15,752
How bout a big ol'
400
00:17:15,786 --> 00:17:18,820
country welcome for Cherlene!
401
00:17:19,655 --> 00:17:22,735
♪ Before I be your dog get
you way down here make you walk alone
402
00:17:22,825 --> 00:17:23,758
Baby, please don't go ♪
403
00:17:23,893 --> 00:17:24,759
Woooooo!!
404
00:17:24,994 --> 00:17:25,860
Incredible.
405
00:17:25,995 --> 00:17:26,916
I must meet this woman.
406
00:17:27,029 --> 00:17:29,649
Well, what do you think is gonna
happen when three gringos waltz in
407
00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:33,435
and start asking around for the woman
who runs the entire Cali cartel?
408
00:17:33,569 --> 00:17:34,903
Wooohooohooohoooo!!
409
00:17:37,407 --> 00:17:41,343
Are you sure you cannot
make love to me just once more?
410
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,411
Not without a
blood transfusion.
411
00:17:43,546 --> 00:17:44,379
Very well.
412
00:17:44,513 --> 00:17:47,315
Ow! Ow! Ow!
413
00:17:48,584 --> 00:17:50,451
♪ Baby, please
don't go down to New Orleans
414
00:17:50,586 --> 00:17:52,453
You know I love you so
Baby, please don't go ♪
415
00:17:52,588 --> 00:17:55,323
You're doing the exact thing
you promised me you wouldn't!
416
00:17:55,457 --> 00:17:56,691
I was kidding.
417
00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:59,626
♪ Before I be
your dog Before I be your dog ♪
418
00:17:59,761 --> 00:18:01,495
Welcome to San Marcos.
419
00:18:01,629 --> 00:18:03,497
♪ Before I be
your dog get you way down here
420
00:18:03,631 --> 00:18:04,591
And let you walk alone ♪
421
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:05,666
So, couple things.
422
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:06,588
Oh, goddamn it.
423
00:18:06,701 --> 00:18:08,268
Did you fart in that?
424
00:18:08,403 --> 00:18:10,404
♪ You know
how I feel right now? ♪
425
00:18:11,439 --> 00:18:13,273
♪ My baby's leaving
426
00:18:13,407 --> 00:18:15,409
♪ On that midnight
train
427
00:18:15,543 --> 00:18:17,444
♪ And I'm crying
Suppressing fire!
428
00:18:17,578 --> 00:18:20,280
♪ Baby,
please don't go ♪
429
00:18:20,414 --> 00:18:21,281
Goddamn it, Cyril!
430
00:18:21,415 --> 00:18:22,615
♪ Baby,
please don't go
431
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:23,671
Baby, please don't go ♪
432
00:18:23,684 --> 00:18:25,551
You're running
out of options, Archer.
433
00:18:25,686 --> 00:18:27,553
♪ Baby,
please don't go ♪
434
00:18:27,688 --> 00:18:28,554
I want Archer dead!
435
00:18:28,688 --> 00:18:30,589
♪ Baby, please
don't go down to New Orleans
436
00:18:30,724 --> 00:18:32,591
You know I love you so
Baby, please don't go ♪
437
00:18:32,725 --> 00:18:35,594
I think you just stumbled
backwards into a CIA arms deal.
438
00:18:37,764 --> 00:18:39,398
They kidnapped Cherlene!
439
00:18:39,533 --> 00:18:40,666
Archer!
440
00:18:40,801 --> 00:18:42,669
We just started
a frickin' coup!
441
00:18:42,803 --> 00:18:43,670
♪ Before I be your dog
442
00:18:43,804 --> 00:18:44,671
get you way down here
443
00:18:44,806 --> 00:18:46,306
Make you walk alone
444
00:18:46,441 --> 00:18:47,307
Baby, please don't go, yeah ♪
445
00:18:47,442 --> 00:18:49,309
Archer, my
water just broke.
446
00:18:49,444 --> 00:18:50,724
♪ All right now. ♪
447
00:18:50,812 --> 00:18:53,780
And for what it's worth, I'm
pretty sure I just invaded Laos.
448
00:18:55,216 --> 00:19:00,554
And, Chi, I swear to God, mention the
compass again and just see what happens.
449
00:19:01,790 --> 00:19:03,604
Archer Vice.
450
00:19:03,724 --> 00:19:04,292
What?
451
00:19:04,412 --> 00:19:05,669
Nothing.
452
00:19:06,029 --> 00:19:07,481
Shut up.
453
00:19:08,639 --> 00:19:18,909
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
454
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:25,289
Re-sync & minor adjustments by WTFX