1
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Previously on In Treatment.

2
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You've been fighting me
for two months,

3
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saying Laura, Laura, Laura.

4
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And you've been waiting for
this imaginary Gina of yours

5
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,479
to give you her blessing.

6
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Paul,

7
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I'm not what's stopping you.

8
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You're fighting yourself.

9
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Maybe you can only be the Paul
you want to be with her.

10
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So, go to her.

11
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Find out.

12
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(Dials)

13
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(Ringing tone)

14
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(Recording) Hey, it's Laura.
I'm not in right now but...

15
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(Ringing tone)

16
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Hey, it's Laura.
I'm not in right now

17
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but if you leave your name and number
I'll call you back. (Beep)

18
00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,517
Laura, it's, uh...

19
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It's Paul. Are you there?

20
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I guess you're not. Hm.

21
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I, uh... I'd really like to talk to you.

22
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I know that you're upset,

23
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and, um... (Sighs)

24
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...I understand that I've hurt you.

25
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And... believe me when I say

26
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that was the last thing I wanted to do.

27
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And I suppose I should hear
what you're saying to me

28
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,271
with your silence...

29
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- Hello.
- Oh.

30
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,917
- You're there.
- Yes, I'm here.

31
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Are you OK?

32
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Yes, I'm OK.

33
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I've been leaving messages and...

34
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Yeah, I know you have.

35
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I'd really like to see you.

36
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I think we should talk.

37
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OK.

38
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:16,477
- Where do you wanna meet?
- Come to my house.

39
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You have the address?

40
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,751
Yes, I do.

41
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(Exhales)

42
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What are you doing?
Are you watching me sleep?

43
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Um... yeah.

44
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Are you going out?

45
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Yeah, I'm...

46
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I'm going to see Laura.

47
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(Doorbell)

48
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- Hi.
- Hi.

49
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It's weird to be opening a door for you.
I'm used to the other way around.

50
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:32,832
Mm.

51
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- You sound sick.
- It's just a cold.

52
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I'm over the worst of it.

53
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- Probably look like shit.
- No, you look great.

54
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You're such a liar. Come in.

55
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Can I take your coat?

56
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Thank you.

57
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- You cut your hair?
- No.

58
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Hm. Guess I remember it longer.

59
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Well, this is, um...
it's quite a place you have here.

60
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Thank you.
Andrew did the decorating.

61
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It was a mess when we met
and then it became this.

62
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- Because of your influence.
- Oh. Yeah, right.

63
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- He was always cleaning up after me.
- Mm.

64
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Well, it's quite a place.

65
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Don't look in any of the closets.

66
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Those are the chairs
that Andrew reupholstered,

67
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- Oh, yeah.
- I think I told you about those.

68
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Mm-hm.

69
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- Is it weird being in a patient's house?
- You're not a patient.

70
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Is this how you imagined it?

71
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(Laughs) I don't know
what I imagined, really. I...

72
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Smaller, perhaps.

73
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- More bright colours.
- Hm.

74
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Hm. Don't know.
Did you see this exhibition?

75
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No, I tried but the lines were insane,

76
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so I just bought the poster.

77
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Did you see it?

78
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Yeah. It was amazing.

79
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It was a bit of a zoo.
Not the optimal way to look at art, but...

80
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Anyway, we...

81
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we tackled our way through it.

82
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Mm.

83
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Do you want something to drink?

84
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Uh, water would be great. Thanks.

85
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You, uh... Do you need me to, uh...
to give you a hand?

86
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With a glass of water?
I think I can manage.

87
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(Buzzing)

88
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Are you sure just water?

89
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A friend came by and stocked my fridge.

90
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I got juice, mineral water,
some amazing chicken soup.

91
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- Um...
- (Beep)

92
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No thanks. It's, uh... It's OK.

93
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Rack of lamb, maybe?

94
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So, uh...

95
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,474
So, uh... So have you seen Andrew?

96
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Um, are you on, uh... speaking terms?

97
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Yeah. Actually he's the one
that came by with the soup.

98
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You know how things are,

99
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one thing led to another
and the next thing you know we were...

100
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My friend Jeremy came over
and brought the food.

101
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Orthopaedic surgeon.

102
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He's gay.

103
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No, he seems fine.

104
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Resigned. Or is it relieved?

105
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I was kidding before
about Andrew. I'm sorry.

106
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I know that.

107
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Have you been upset with me?

108
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Not upset...

109
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Frustrated.

110
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I just don't know what I am to you, Paul. I...

111
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I mean, I'm not your lover.

112
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I'm not your girlfriend.

113
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I'm not your patient. I mean...

114
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the truth is, I don't really know
who we are to each other.

115
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Let's decide...

116
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once and for all.

117
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I know what I want.

118
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Is this a test, Paul?

119
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Like the last one? I don't think
I can survive two of those in one lifetime.

120
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I love you, Laura.

121
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You were right about
wanting to talk in person.

122
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(Exhales)

123
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It's not something you leave
on an answering machine.

124
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Of course, I've done that.
I actually broke into a guy's apartment

125
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- and tried to erase it...
- I'm not going to take it back.

126
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,428
Well, you can't really know that, can you?

127
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You don't believe me.

128
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,474
I'm sorry.

129
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Is it because I haven't left home?

130
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Home. Well...

131
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That's, uh, not really something
you should do on my account.

132
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Look, I...

133
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I understand that you

134
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would be viewing this with...

135
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- with caution.
- Don't explain to me what I'm doing.

136
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,554
OK. OK.

137
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,397
So what changed?

138
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,432
I guess I just realised what...

139
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what I was gonna lose.

140
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Mm.

141
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I haven't seen you for two weeks.
I haven't spoken to you or seen you,

142
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- heard from you.
- That'll pass.

143
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- No, it won't.
- With time, it will.

144
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You'll get over me, Paul. Trust me.

145
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,352
You don't understand, Laura.

146
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,198
I don't want to get over you.

147
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:40,228
I know that you...
I know that you took my indecision...

148
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,589
I'm... I'm done with therapy.

149
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,837
I'm done. You don't get to tell me
where my head is at,

150
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or claim that everything
you're saying to me is for my protection.

151
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,797
What happened about that anyway?

152
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:57,469
You were so worried
that I was repeating old patterns with you,

153
00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,796
that I was... I was...
using sex to bail out of my relationships.

154
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,274
- You're not worried about that any more?
- No.

155
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,469
(Sighs)

156
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,954
You haven't been calling me back.

157
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,993
You're setting limits for the first time.
You're taking a stand.

158
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:16,633
You're thinking things through.
This is all... new.

159
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:20,070
So by walking away from you
is proof that I'm ready to be with you?

160
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,829
How should I prove that I'm over you,
give you the key to my house?

161
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,472
(Sighs)

162
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,791
Are you?

163
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,591
Are you over me?

164
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,556
No, I'm not.

165
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:50,631
But I don't wanna be happy in the moment
any more, Paul. I want it to last.

166
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,836
I don't wanna be the fantasy that...

167
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,110
The cure to a marriage that ran out of steam,

168
00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:01,119
or a job that became routine, it's...
it's just too much pressure.

169
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,151
Maybe you're afraid that...

170
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,111
Look, Paul,

171
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:09,551
I know this is what you thrive on,
all this back-and-forth stuff, but...

172
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Let's not talk.

173
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:14,989
Mm?

174
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:18,032
What happens if we just don't talk?

175
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,872
OK.

176
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:26,752
OK.

177
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,554
You don't really want this, Paul.

178
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,750
Do you?

179
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,350
I do.

180
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:11,989
(Knocking)

181
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,358
Paul.

182
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,196
- Hi, Gina.
- What's the matter?

183
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,993
Sorry for... Look, I'm sorry
for barging in like this.

184
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,268
No, no. Come in.

185
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,312
- Are you sure?
- Oh, sure. Come in.

186
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,396
What happened?

187
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:40,759
Oh, uh...

188
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,631
(Laughs)

189
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,796
It's, um...

190
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,791
(Sighs)

191
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,478
Saw Laura today.

192
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:54,593
I've been trying to reach her since Alex's
funeral. She hasn't been returning my calls.

193
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,029
- Do you... do you mind if I sit down?
- No. Please.

194
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,269
- (Paul sighs)
- You saw each other at Alex's funeral?

195
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,880
Yeah. And so I've been calling her

196
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:06,515
and, uh, finally she, uh...
she picked up and she said, uh...

197
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,878
"Why don't you, uh...
Why don't you come over?"

198
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:14,276
So I went over there to tell her that...

199
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,000
I was through

200
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:21,476
with driving us both crazy, and that...

201
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,994
And that I loved her and that, um...

202
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,356
I was ready to be...

203
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,118
to be with her.

204
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:33,639
Hm.

205
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,035
Your worst fear realised, Gina.

206
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,355
This isn't about me, Paul.

207
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,597
- (Sighs)
- What happened?

208
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,356
She didn't believe me.

209
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:53,711
Anyway, we, uh... we ended up... uh...

210
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,955
in the bedroom.

211
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,594
She said she didn't believe you

212
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:01,029
and you ended up in the bedroom?

213
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,911
(Laughs) Yeah.

214
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:05,997
Anyway, uh, I...

215
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,190
I didn't do anything. I, um...

216
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,435
I couldn't.

217
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,516
You couldn't?

218
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,357
You mean, you couldn't respond?

219
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:20,632
I had a fucking anxiety attack. (Laughs)

220
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,309
Like a teenage kid.
A fucking anxiety attack.

221
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,316
Unbelievable.

222
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,759
What was that like?

223
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,758
Oh, like I was suffocating, heart pounding,

224
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:35,510
drenched in sweat,
it was a classic textbook panic attack.

225
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:40,869
Did you talk to her about it?
Did you tell her what was happening to you?

226
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:44,435
It was sex, Gina. It... it wasn't...
like it was a session or anything.

227
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,438
I got out of there as fast as I could.

228
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,033
But it was too late.
By the time it took...

229
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:55,709
for me to make up my mind about both of us,

230
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,318
she'd changed hers.

231
00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,670
She changed her mind
but you're the one that ran out.

232
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,393
No, she said she didn't want it any more.

233
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,193
I... I'm confused about...

234
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,915
Just... just take a breath
and start at the beginning.

235
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:13,350
Yeah. You know what?
It doesn't matter anyway.

236
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,356
It's not like we're gonna be together.

237
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,833
I couldn't...

238
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,717
I...

239
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:23,275
I couldn't even bring myself to...
(Sighs)

240
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,117
...to touch her.

241
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,832
She was this close to me.
I could feel the heat from her body.

242
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,519
Do you know how many times
I've thought about that?

243
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,516
How many times I've imagined that?

244
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:37,954
Next thing I know I'm doubled over
the hood of my car, gasping for air.

245
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,309
I mean, what the fuck
is wrong with me, Gina?

246
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,351
Nothing's wrong with you.

247
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,157
You see this as a betrayal,

248
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,033
as though you sabotaged yourself,
I don't see it that way.

249
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,071
Well, of course not.
For you, it's good news.

250
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:52,395
You've been telling me
for the two months what a...

251
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:56,274
horrible mistake I'm making,
how I'm ruining my life.

252
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,709
You should be ready
to open a bottle of champagne.

253
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,753
Paul, the last time we met
I said this had to be your decision.

254
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,268
You know, when it came down to it
in the end, Gina,

255
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,710
it didn't have anything to do
with moral questions or...

256
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,513
integrity, or my marriage, or you.

257
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,632
- What was it then?
- I had this feeling that...

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I was going to be swallowed.

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Swallowed up by all of it.

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And that I was gonna lose...

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control.

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(Laughs) Anyways, I ran out the door.
I thought of you,

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all the times I'd...
said that you were a coward.

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Well, who's the coward now? Hm.

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You know, Paul,
that anxiety attack was yours.

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It wasn't external. It was you.

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What restrained you was the...
was the very best of you.

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Your deepest standards,

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personal and professional and moral.

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No, Gina.

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Moral decisions don't
come from the unconscious.

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I'm not gonna let myself
off the hook that easily.

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Paul, you steered yourself away

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from doing something
that you knew you would regret.

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You saved yourself from being hurt

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and from hurting a woman
that you cared about.

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Mm.

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What, do you think that... that moral decisions

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are... are always made
in the absence of temptation,

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that they're made easily,
that they're made gracefully?

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Give yourself some credit.

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If you were able to make
this decision easily,

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it would have been a sign
that you didn't want her that badly.

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But you did.

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You wanted her so very badly.

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So badly that you had an anxiety attack

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in order to stop yourself.

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So in the end you won.

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You prevailed.

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Well, thank you for trying to console me, Gina.

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I'm not consoling you.

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I just want you to take the credit

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and the responsibility for what you did.

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You know what she said?

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00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:30,517
She said that she's come to understand
that what she's been doing, you know,

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using sexual relationships
to free herself from emotional...

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entanglements, that she doesn't
want to do that any more.

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- (Laughs)
- Hm.

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It's ironic.

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Her therapy with you has been a success.

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Mm.

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00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,679
She said, uh, that what I was doing

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was that I was using her
to bail myself out of my own life.

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That actually I was having a midlife crisis.

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(Laughs)

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Hilarious description.

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That's your theory, isn't it?

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No, but that doesn't matter now.

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Doesn't matter.

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You know, what matters, Paul,
is that you did the right thing for you

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and for your patient.

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She could be the last...

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Iove of my life.

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And I let her go.

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What's left for me now, Gina, hm?

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00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:48,033
We'll have to talk about that.

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English SDH