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Previously on In Treatment...

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You've been fighting me
for two months,

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saying Laura, Laura, Laura.

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And you've been waiting
for this imaginary Gina of yours

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to give you her blessing.

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Paul

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I'm not what's stopping you.

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You're fighting yourself.

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Maybe you can only be
the Paul you want to be

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with her.

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So, go to her...

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find out.

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Hey, it's Laura.
I'm not in right now but ...

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Hey, it's Laura.
I'm not in right now, but ...

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if you leave your name and number,
I'll call you back.

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Laura, it's...

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It's Paul. Are you there?

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I guess you're not.

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I ..., I'd really like to talk to you.

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<i>Yeah, i - i - i know that you're upset, and...</i>

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<i>I understand that I've hurt you.</i>

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And believe me when I say
that was the last thingI wanted to do.

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<i>And I suppose I should hear what</i>

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<i>you're saying to me
with your silence...</i>

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You're there.

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Yes, I'm here.

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Are you okay?

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Yes, I'm okay.

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<i>- I've been leaving messages and...
- Yeah, I know you have.</i>

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I'd really like to see you.

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I think we should talk.

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OK.

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Where do you wanna meet?

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Come to my house.
You have the address?

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Yes, I do.

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What are you doing?
You're watching me sleep.

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Are you going out?

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I'm gonna see Laura.

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Synced and corrected by
GhostedNet

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Hi
Hi

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Well It's weird to beopening a door for you.
I'm used to the other way around.

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I'm over the worst of it.

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- Probably look like shit.
- You look great.

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You're such a liar. Come in.

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Can I take your coat?
Thank You

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You cut your hair?
Um ... No

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I guess I remember it longer.

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Oh - It's ... it's quite a place you have here.
Thank you, - Andrew did the decorating.

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It was a mess when we met
and then it became this.

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- Because of your influence.
- Oh yeah, right.

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He was always cleaning up after me.

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Well, it's

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- quite a place.
- Don't look in any of the closets.

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Those are the chairs
that Andrew reupholstered, remember?

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I think I told you about those.

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- Weird being in a patient's house?
- You're not a patient.

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Is this how you imagined it?

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I don't know whatI imagined, really, i ...

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Smaller, perhaps.

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More bright colors.

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Did you see this exhibition?

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No, I tried but the lines were insane,
so I just bought the poster.

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- Did you see it?
- Yeah. It was amazing.

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It was a bit of a zoo.

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Not the optimal way to look at art, but.

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Anyway, we...

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We tackled our way through it.

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Do you want something to drink?

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Water would be great, thanks

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You a ...Do you need me to give you a hand?

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For a glass of water?
I think I can manage.

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Are you sure just water? A friend of
mine came by and stocked my fridge i got ...

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juice, mineral water,
some amazing chicken soup.

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No thanks. It's okay.

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Rack of lamb, maybe?

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So a ... so a ... 
so have you seen Andrew?

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Are you on speaking terms?

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Yeah. Actually he's the one
who came by with the soup.

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You know how things are,
one thing led to another

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and the next thing you know
we were...

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My friend Jeremy

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came over and brought the food.

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Orthopedic surgeon.

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He's gay.

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No, he seems fine.

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Resigned...

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Or is it relieved?

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I was kidding before

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- about Andrew. I'm sorry.
- I know that.

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Have you been upset with me?

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Not upset...

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Frustrated.

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I just don't know what I am to you Paul, i ...

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I mean, I'm not your lover.

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I'm not your girlfriend.

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I'm not your patient.

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I mean, the truth is that I don't really know
who we are to each other.

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Let's decide,

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once and for all.

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I know what I want.

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Is this a test, Paul?

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Like the last one?
Because I - I don't i don't think I can survive
two of those in one lifetime.

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I love you, Laura.

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You were right
about wanting to talk in person.

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It's not something you leave
on an answering machine.

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Of course, I've done that.
I actually broke into a guy's apartment and ...

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- tried to erase it...
- I'm not going to take it back.

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You can't really know that, can you?

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You don't believe me.

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I'm sorry.

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Is it because I haven't left home?

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Home. Well...

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That's not really something
you should do on my account.

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Look i ...
I understand that you

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would be viewing this with...

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- With caution.
- Don't explain to me what I'm doing.

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So what changed?

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I guess I just realized what...

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What I was gonna lose.
Um ...

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I haven't seen you for two weeks...

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I haven't spoken to you or seen you,
heard from you.

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- No, that'll pass.
- No, it won't.

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With time... yes it will.
You'll get over me, Paul. Trust me.

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You don't understand, Laura.

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I don't want to get over you.

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I know that you ...
I know that you took my indecision...

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Nah ... I'm - I'm - I'm
I'm done with therapy. I'm done.

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You don't get to tell me
where my head is at

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or claim that everything you're saying
to me is for my protection.

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And what happened about that anyway?
You were so worried that I was ...

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repeating old patterns with you,
that I was i was ...

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using sex
to bail out of my relationships.

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- I mean, You're not worried about that anymore?
- No.

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You haven't been calling me back.

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You're setting limits for
the first time. You're taking a stand.

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You're thinking things through.

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This is all you.

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Oh so about walking away from you
is proof that I'm ready to be with you?

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I mean, how should I prove that I'm over you,
give you the key to my house?

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Are you?

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Are you over me?

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No, I'm not.

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But I don't wanna be happy in
the moment anymore Paul, I want it to last.

146
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I don't wanna be the fantasy the ...

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The cure to a marriage
that ran out of steam,

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or a job that became routine. It's...

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- It's just too much pressure.
- Maybe you're afraid that...

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I - Look Paul

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I know this is what you thrive on,
all this back-and-forth stuff, but...

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Let's not talk.

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Um?

154
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What happens if you just don't talk?

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Hum ...
Ok.

156
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Yeah

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You don't really want this, Paul.

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Do you?

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I do.

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Paul

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Hi Gina
- What's the matter? - Ah Sorry for...

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- Look I'm sorry for barging in like this...
- No no. Come in.

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- Are you sure?
- Oh, sure. Come in.

164
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Ehi ... What - what happened?

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I saw Laura today.

166
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I've been trying to reach her
since Alex's funeral.

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She hasn't been returning my calls.
Do you mind if I sit down?
No, please ...

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You saw each otherat Alex's funeral?

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Yeah. An so I've been calling her

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and finally she picked up

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and she said...

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"Why don't you ... why don't
you come over?" - So

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I went over there to tell her that

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I was through

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with driving us both crazy,
and that ...

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and that I loved her and that...

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I was ready to be...

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To be with her.

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Your worst fear realized, Gina.

180
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This isn't about me, Paul.

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What happened?

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She didn't believe me.

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Anyway, we... We ended up...

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in the bedroom.

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Wait, she said she didn't believe you
and you ended up in the bedroom?

186
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Yeah

187
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Anyway, I...

188
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I didn't do anything.

189
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I couldn't.

190
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Who ...
You couldn't?

191
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You mean, you couldn't respond?

192
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I had a fucking
anxiety attack.

193
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Like a teenage kid...
A fucking anxiety attack.

194
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Unbelievable.

195
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What was that like?

196
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Oh Like I was ...

197
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suffocating, heart pounding,
drenched in sweat.

198
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,940
It was that classic textbook
panic attack.

199
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So did - did you talk to her about it?
Did you tell her what was happening to you?

200
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It was sex, Gina. It wasn't...

201
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Like it was a session or anything.
I got out of there

202
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as fast as I could.

203
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:28,130
But it was too late.
By the time it took...

204
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for me to make up my mind
about both of us,

205
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she'd changed hers.

206
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,870
She changed her mind
but you're the one that ran out.

207
00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:39,660
No, she said
she didn't want it anymore.

208
00:17:39,780 --> 00:17:43,660
- Oh ... I - I - I - 
 - I'm - I'm confused about...-
- what ... just ... -

209
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,430
Just take a breath
and start at the beginning.

210
00:17:46,860 --> 00:17:50,070
Yeah ... You know what?
It doesn't matter anyway, i mean

211
00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:52,350
It's not like
we're gonna be together.

212
00:17:52,670 --> 00:17:53,740
I couldn't...

213
00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:59,600
I ...
I couldn't even bring myself to...

214
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to touch her.

215
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:06,720
She was this close to me.
I could feel the heat from her body.

216
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,430
You know how many times
I thought about that, Gina?

217
00:18:09,620 --> 00:18:11,440
How many times I've imagined that?

218
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,770
Next thing I know
I'm doubled over the hood of my car

219
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gasping for air.
I mean, What the fuck is wrong with me, Gina?

220
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,390
Nothing's wrong with you.

221
00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:23,490
You see this as a betrayal

222
00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:26,800
as though you sabotaged yourself.
I don't see it that way.

223
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,790
Well of course not.
For you, it's good news.

224
00:18:28,810 --> 00:18:31,120
You've been telling me
for the last couple of months what a ...

225
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:32,890
horrible mistake I'm making...

226
00:18:32,890 --> 00:18:35,260
And how i'm ruining my life.

227
00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:37,640
You should be ready
to open a bottle of champagne.

228
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:41,620
Paul: the last time we met
I said this had to be your decision.

229
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,420
You know, when it came down to it in the end Gina

230
00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:47,490
it didn't have anything
to do with moral questions or ...

231
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,960
integrity,
or my marriage, or you.

232
00:18:51,550 --> 00:18:54,210
- What was it then?
- I had this feeling that...

233
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I was going to be swallowed...

234
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Swallowed up by all of it.

235
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,230
And that I was gonna lose...

236
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Control.

237
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Anyways, I ran out the door.
I thought of you... All the times that

238
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:21,270
I said that you were a coward.
Well, who's the coward now? Um ...

239
00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:30,170
You know, Paul,
that anxiety attack was yours.

240
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,870
It wasn't external. It was you.

241
00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:41,900
What restrained you
was the was the very best of you...

242
00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:43,950
Your ... your deepest standards,

243
00:19:43,970 --> 00:19:46,900
personal and professional and moral.

244
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No Gina ...

245
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:50,930
Moral decisions
don't come from the unconscious.

246
00:19:50,930 --> 00:19:53,330
I'm not gonna let myself
off the hook that easily.

247
00:19:53,870 --> 00:19:57,500
Paul: You steered yourself away
from doing something

248
00:19:57,570 --> 00:20:00,430
that you knew you would regret.

249
00:20:00,670 --> 00:20:03,630
You saved yourself from being hurt

250
00:20:03,630 --> 00:20:05,950
and from hurting a woman
that you cared about.

251
00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:12,890
What, do you think that that moral decisions

252
00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:16,370
are always made
in the absence of temptation,

253
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that they're made easily,
that they're made gracefully?

254
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:22,160
Give yourself some credit.

255
00:20:23,060 --> 00:20:25,300
If -  if you were able
to make this decision

256
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:27,240
easily
it would have been a sign

257
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,670
that you didn't want her that badly.

258
00:20:30,550 --> 00:20:31,750
But you did.

259
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:35,130
You wanted her so very badly...

260
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:39,030
So badly that you had
an anxiety attack

261
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,530
in order to stop yourself.

262
00:20:42,890 --> 00:20:44,530
So in the end you won.

263
00:20:44,740 --> 00:20:46,700
You prevailed.

264
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,160
Well, thank you for trying
to console me, Gina.

265
00:20:53,330 --> 00:20:55,380
I'm not consoling you.

266
00:20:55,590 --> 00:20:57,990
I just want you to take the credit

267
00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,090
and the responsibility

268
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:02,050
for what you did.

269
00:21:09,490 --> 00:21:11,090
You know what she said?

270
00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:15,660
She said that she's come to understand
that what she's been doing, you know

271
00:21:16,180 --> 00:21:19,260
using sexual relationships to ...

272
00:21:19,260 --> 00:21:21,400
to free herself from emotional...

273
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,670
entanglements, that she doesn't want
to do that anymore.

274
00:21:30,460 --> 00:21:31,630
It's ironic.

275
00:21:33,610 --> 00:21:35,830
Her therapy with you
has been a success.

276
00:21:38,670 --> 00:21:41,790
She said that what I was doing

277
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,360
that I was using her
to bail myself out of my own life...

278
00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:47,390
That actually I was having

279
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,190
a midlife crisis.

280
00:21:52,170 --> 00:21:54,210
Hilarious description.

281
00:21:54,460 --> 00:21:56,060
That's your theory, isn't it?

282
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,290
No, but that doesn't matter now.

283
00:21:58,570 --> 00:22:00,130
It doesn't matter.

284
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:04,150
You know, what matters Paul
is that you did the right thing for you

285
00:22:05,130 --> 00:22:06,400
and for your patient.

286
00:22:09,540 --> 00:22:11,220
She could be the last...

287
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,090
love of my life.

288
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,820
And I let her go.

289
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:27,820
What's left for me now, Gina?
Um?

290
00:22:34,190 --> 00:22:36,100
We'll have to talk about that.

291
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:51,990
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