1
00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,104
Hello, I am Leslie
Knope, and I am here
2
00:00:04,110 --> 00:00:06,407
to interview for the
Deputy Parks Director job.
3
00:00:06,408 --> 00:00:08,036
Leslie, this is ridiculous.
4
00:00:08,037 --> 00:00:09,538
It's your job.
Take it.
5
00:00:09,539 --> 00:00:11,647
Well, I should have to interview
just like everyone else.
6
00:00:11,648 --> 00:00:14,029
- Mm. - Now, if you'll
see on my resume,
7
00:00:14,030 --> 00:00:16,697
I held the position
of deputy director
8
00:00:16,698 --> 00:00:18,637
of parks and recreation
for almost ten years.
9
00:00:18,638 --> 00:00:20,356
I know.
I was your boss.
10
00:00:20,357 --> 00:00:22,598
I also walked you down the
aisle at your wedding.
11
00:00:22,599 --> 00:00:25,633
- Take the job and leave me alone.
- Come on, Ron. Just interview me.
12
00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:28,143
- No special treatment.
- Okay, fine.
13
00:00:28,632 --> 00:00:31,707
What do you believe should be the
ultimate goal of this department?
14
00:00:31,708 --> 00:00:34,945
The ancient Greek version
of the park was the agora,
15
00:00:34,946 --> 00:00:37,811
a gathering place where people
from all walks of life--
16
00:00:37,812 --> 00:00:39,497
What are you writing?
Is it good?
17
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:42,268
What do you think is the best
use of our yearly budget?
18
00:00:42,269 --> 00:00:43,909
It's right there in the name:
19
00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:45,525
Maintaining our beautiful parks
20
00:00:45,526 --> 00:00:48,547
and providing healthy
outdoor recreation.
21
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,583
I'm sorry, Ms. Knope,
the correct answer is
22
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,721
"Give it all back
to the taxpayers."
23
00:00:53,006 --> 00:00:56,068
It seems you and I have fundamentally
different philosophies.
24
00:00:56,069 --> 00:00:59,107
Frankly, it's a miracle we ever worked
together without killing each other.
25
00:00:59,108 --> 00:01:00,656
- Good day.
- Ha, ha, okay.
26
00:01:00,657 --> 00:01:02,583
No more goofing around.
Just tell me I have the job.
27
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:03,997
I have a lot of other
people to meet with.
28
00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:06,766
- I'll be in touch.
- Ron, come on, it's me.
29
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,547
Give me special treatment.
30
00:01:11,846 --> 00:01:19,846
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
31
00:01:29,748 --> 00:01:33,666
Okay, first morning meeting back
in the old conference room.
32
00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:34,566
What's this?
33
00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:36,168
Oh, it shows everyone's
spirit dogs.
34
00:01:36,169 --> 00:01:38,744
- That one's you.
- You guys think I'm a border collie?
35
00:01:38,745 --> 00:01:40,540
So obviously a cocker spaniel.
36
00:01:40,541 --> 00:01:42,900
The spirit dog committee
ruled on that weeks ago.
37
00:01:42,901 --> 00:01:44,931
- There is no appeals process.
- No.
38
00:01:46,746 --> 00:01:48,006
Totally.
I'm in on the joke.
39
00:01:48,007 --> 00:01:50,140
I get it, but maybe
we should stop talking
40
00:01:50,141 --> 00:01:52,325
about your insane dog
choices and get to working.
41
00:01:52,326 --> 00:01:54,961
Classic border collie.
Has to control everything.
42
00:01:56,423 --> 00:01:58,092
Totally.
43
00:01:58,645 --> 00:02:02,000
First on the agenda: I'm gonna
bring my lemonade stand idea
44
00:02:02,001 --> 00:02:03,493
to the small
business coalition,
45
00:02:03,494 --> 00:02:05,338
and a little birdie told me
it's already in the bag.
46
00:02:05,339 --> 00:02:06,682
- Can I get a what-what?
- What?
47
00:02:06,683 --> 00:02:07,657
- What?
- Thank you.
48
00:02:07,658 --> 00:02:08,871
No.
What idea?
49
00:02:08,872 --> 00:02:12,904
The fella who runs the hot stew stand
in Lafayette Park is retiring,
50
00:02:12,905 --> 00:02:16,171
so Pawnee's new
business liaison--Tom--
51
00:02:16,172 --> 00:02:18,451
went out and got the Indiana
Brothers juice company
52
00:02:18,452 --> 00:02:20,925
- to rent it out as a
lemonade stand. - Wow.
53
00:02:22,431 --> 00:02:23,703
Plus, I downloaded
this dope app
54
00:02:23,704 --> 00:02:25,803
that pops champagne whenever
I say something awesome.
55
00:02:25,804 --> 00:02:27,869
- Tom, that's great.
- I know. And it was only 9 bucks.
56
00:02:27,870 --> 00:02:29,393
No, I mean, the lemonade--
57
00:02:29,394 --> 00:02:31,266
never mind.
Well, I will start doing
58
00:02:31,267 --> 00:02:33,246
an environmental
impact study, and Ron,
59
00:02:33,247 --> 00:02:35,593
- you can do some demographic research.
- Don't sweat it, Lez-kno.
60
00:02:35,594 --> 00:02:37,914
Tommy's taking care
of every last detail.
61
00:02:38,056 --> 00:02:39,657
Nothing I can do to help?
62
00:02:40,651 --> 00:02:42,124
Okay.
63
00:02:42,860 --> 00:02:44,033
Oh.
64
00:02:44,229 --> 00:02:46,289
I can straighten this for you.
65
00:02:46,975 --> 00:02:48,445
There we go.
66
00:02:50,825 --> 00:02:52,119
Oh, Larry.
67
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,275
We've been taking pictures
all over City Hall
68
00:02:54,276 --> 00:02:56,448
to show our unborn
baby where we met.
69
00:02:56,449 --> 00:02:58,762
- Would you mind?
- Oh, my gosh. I would be honored.
70
00:02:59,674 --> 00:03:02,159
Say, when are you crazy
kids gonna get hitched?
71
00:03:02,496 --> 00:03:04,745
Well, you know, actually, we
haven't discussed it in a while.
72
00:03:04,746 --> 00:03:06,317
No, it's kind of taken
a back seat.
73
00:03:06,318 --> 00:03:08,278
Well, you know,
to each his own,
74
00:03:08,587 --> 00:03:10,063
but you guys really seem
like you're in love.
75
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:14,186
And when I see a couple who look
at each other the way you do,
76
00:03:14,788 --> 00:03:17,155
I don't know, it just
makes me think that
77
00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:19,156
maybe this crazy world
is gonna be okay.
78
00:03:20,227 --> 00:03:22,559
That literally went on forever.
79
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,418
I thought you were never
gonna stop talking.
80
00:03:24,419 --> 00:03:26,038
But now that you have...
81
00:03:26,954 --> 00:03:28,598
Ann Perkins,
82
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:30,530
will you marry me?
83
00:03:32,283 --> 00:03:34,458
- Wow.
- Cracker dust.
84
00:03:34,863 --> 00:03:37,656
Uh, I mean, yes, of--
of course, l-let's do it.
85
00:03:37,657 --> 00:03:39,145
Can I have a sip of
your water, please?
86
00:03:39,146 --> 00:03:40,886
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm--I'm a bit of a germaphobe.
87
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,881
Oh, no, no, totally understand.
88
00:03:43,422 --> 00:03:45,625
- Ann Perkins...
- I'm gonna cough it out.
89
00:03:45,753 --> 00:03:48,370
I would like to spend the
rest of my life with you.
90
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,529
I love you.
91
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:52,265
I love you too.
92
00:03:54,386 --> 00:03:55,974
No part of this
is how I pictured it.
93
00:03:55,975 --> 00:04:00,017
I thought another cracker might
push it through, but I was wrong.
94
00:04:00,018 --> 00:04:01,031
- Let's do this right.
- Yeah.
95
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,351
Let's go get
an engagement ring.
96
00:04:02,352 --> 00:04:03,898
Yes.
97
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,634
That was a beautiful moment.
98
00:04:11,041 --> 00:04:12,500
- Hello, France!
- Mm.
99
00:04:12,501 --> 00:04:13,782
You guys enjoying that cheese?
100
00:04:13,783 --> 00:04:14,896
It's unpasteurized.
101
00:04:15,557 --> 00:04:16,484
What's that mean?
102
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,833
- Unpasteurized?
- I don't care. I don't care.
103
00:04:18,834 --> 00:04:21,616
Technically, it's illegal
in this country.
104
00:04:21,617 --> 00:04:23,450
I smuggled it
back from Paris.
105
00:04:23,451 --> 00:04:27,535
Anyway, I want you guys to think
of my office as a clubhouse,
106
00:04:27,536 --> 00:04:29,581
total open-door policy.
107
00:04:29,904 --> 00:04:32,900
I wanna be your friend
as well as your boss.
108
00:04:32,901 --> 00:04:34,629
What the hell
is wrong with you?
109
00:04:34,630 --> 00:04:36,556
Are you in a cult?
Can I join?
110
00:04:36,557 --> 00:04:39,221
- Let's sacrifice Larry.
- Oh, April.
111
00:04:39,454 --> 00:04:40,934
It's my first day
as city manager,
112
00:04:40,935 --> 00:04:44,352
so I'm holding open office
hours to break the ice.
113
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,199
Now, Chris was
always the nice guy
114
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:49,076
that made everyone happy, while
I brought down the hammer.
115
00:04:49,077 --> 00:04:52,342
But now that he's gone,
I kind of have to do both.
116
00:04:52,806 --> 00:04:55,502
Everyone is the best.
We're cutting vacation time.
117
00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:58,038
Let's eat vitamins.
This is exhausting.
118
00:04:58,265 --> 00:04:59,506
Listen real quick.
119
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:01,328
I have some super
cool new rules...
120
00:05:01,329 --> 00:05:04,491
- Oh, nice.
- That are also super mandatory.
121
00:05:04,492 --> 00:05:06,880
Uh, we can't use
Facebook anymore?
122
00:05:06,881 --> 00:05:08,435
- Are you serious?
- That's right.
123
00:05:08,436 --> 00:05:11,120
Massive time waster.
Kills productivity.
124
00:05:11,940 --> 00:05:13,410
Hey, sanitation.
125
00:05:13,411 --> 00:05:16,576
Listen, let's talk
health insurance.
126
00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:18,083
Your dependents don't
have it anymore.
127
00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:19,211
Have some illegal cheese.
128
00:05:19,212 --> 00:05:22,109
No cell phone usage
on City Hall property?
129
00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:24,702
That's not fair, my cell phone
is how I avoid doing work.
130
00:05:24,703 --> 00:05:27,425
Bathroom breaks should be
limited to five minutes?
131
00:05:27,426 --> 00:05:29,054
I can't shower in five minutes.
132
00:05:29,055 --> 00:05:31,607
See, he's acting all
loosey-goosey, but
133
00:05:31,608 --> 00:05:33,401
that little dude's wound
so tight, he's gonna pop.
134
00:05:33,402 --> 00:05:34,965
♪ Hey, sanitation
135
00:05:34,966 --> 00:05:37,735
♪ sanitation in the
house tonight ♪
136
00:05:39,531 --> 00:05:41,743
Oh, what happened
to our spirit dogs?
137
00:05:41,744 --> 00:05:43,488
I came up
with a way better game.
138
00:05:43,489 --> 00:05:46,336
Behold your spirit kangaroo.
139
00:05:46,337 --> 00:05:47,961
Tom, you are a blue flyer.
140
00:05:47,962 --> 00:05:50,365
So am I. So are
you and Donna.
141
00:05:50,366 --> 00:05:51,752
And look at Ron.
Look at Ron.
142
00:05:51,753 --> 00:05:53,240
I mean--
143
00:05:53,241 --> 00:05:56,315
Doesn't Ron look exactly
like a blue flyer?
144
00:05:56,316 --> 00:05:58,723
There aren't that many
different types of kangaroos.
145
00:05:58,724 --> 00:06:01,352
Either way, hell of a
game, right, guys?
146
00:06:01,353 --> 00:06:05,309
Presentations are upon us, so,
Tom, which step are you at in
147
00:06:05,310 --> 00:06:07,357
The Leslie Knope Project
Preparedness Super System?
148
00:06:07,358 --> 00:06:09,813
Yeah, once you got on the city
council, we kinda stopped doin' that.
149
00:06:09,814 --> 00:06:12,220
What? Tom, no,
you cannot drop
150
00:06:12,221 --> 00:06:14,153
The Leslie Knope Project
Preparedness Super System.
151
00:06:14,154 --> 00:06:17,096
It was developed over thousands
of government presentations
152
00:06:17,097 --> 00:06:18,984
that I gave over the
past ten years.
153
00:06:18,985 --> 00:06:21,897
- It is my very soul.
- Well, I have my own system.
154
00:06:22,046 --> 00:06:23,967
Step one:
Chill out a bit.
155
00:06:24,104 --> 00:06:25,765
Step two:
Get up there and rip it.
156
00:06:25,766 --> 00:06:27,740
That's your plan?
To--to rip it?
157
00:06:27,741 --> 00:06:30,083
Leslie, this is Tom's project.
158
00:06:30,084 --> 00:06:32,316
Perhaps you should let
him do things his way.
159
00:06:32,317 --> 00:06:34,859
Sure, yeah, you should
probably just rip it.
160
00:06:34,860 --> 00:06:36,103
I think that's better
161
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:39,151
than going with a tried
and true 80-step system
162
00:06:39,152 --> 00:06:41,106
that led to-- and I quote--
163
00:06:41,107 --> 00:06:43,466
"The most thorough and,
dare we say, at times,
164
00:06:43,467 --> 00:06:45,744
over-prepared presentation
that we've seen."
165
00:06:45,745 --> 00:06:46,939
And yeah, that quote came from
166
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,628
the Indiana blue ribbon panel
on irrigation and drainage.
167
00:06:49,629 --> 00:06:51,363
Fine, I'll go back
to your system.
168
00:06:51,364 --> 00:06:53,560
- You're the big dog around here.
- Big kangaroo.
169
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,155
And thank you.
170
00:06:55,156 --> 00:06:57,168
Well, yeah, I was gone for a while
171
00:06:57,169 --> 00:07:00,395
and things are a little different around
here, but this is still my house.
172
00:07:00,514 --> 00:07:03,074
I invented this
parks game, son.
173
00:07:03,414 --> 00:07:04,568
Oh.
174
00:07:05,652 --> 00:07:07,894
Damn it! When did
they put a lamp here?
175
00:07:10,423 --> 00:07:12,300
Hey.
The boys in blue?
176
00:07:13,495 --> 00:07:16,106
Ah, what can I do
for you... for?
177
00:07:16,107 --> 00:07:19,063
We got a tip about some food
entering the country illegally.
178
00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:23,181
No--no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Thi--it's just cheese, guys.
179
00:07:23,182 --> 00:07:24,963
Uh, I got it in France.
180
00:07:24,964 --> 00:07:26,879
Okay. Did you declare it
on your customs form
181
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,770
when you reentered
the country?
182
00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:32,140
We're gonna need you to
come down to the station.
183
00:07:32,141 --> 00:07:33,731
I'm sure that's not necessary.
184
00:07:33,732 --> 00:07:35,560
Let's just-- this is
really good cheese.
185
00:07:35,561 --> 00:07:37,474
- You should try some.
- Are you trying to bribe us?
186
00:07:37,475 --> 00:07:40,234
No! Oh, God.
I surrender.
187
00:07:42,506 --> 00:07:44,701
- Step forward.
- Okay, okay.
188
00:07:44,702 --> 00:07:45,415
There you go.
189
00:07:45,416 --> 00:07:47,012
This is so exciting.
190
00:07:47,798 --> 00:07:49,867
Hi, folks. When's
the big day?
191
00:07:49,868 --> 00:07:51,948
I assume this is
a, you know...
192
00:07:53,329 --> 00:07:56,231
Oh. No. This isn't
a shotgun wedding,
193
00:07:56,232 --> 00:07:58,386
although, yes,
she is pregnant,
194
00:07:58,387 --> 00:08:00,641
and, yes, we did just decide
to get married today.
195
00:08:00,642 --> 00:08:04,112
We haven't told our
families or chosen a venue,
196
00:08:04,113 --> 00:08:06,125
but it's not a
shotgun wedding.
197
00:08:06,126 --> 00:08:07,955
We've been planning
ours for months.
198
00:08:07,956 --> 00:08:09,524
You wouldn't believe how
much there is to do.
199
00:08:09,525 --> 00:08:12,808
Invitations, table settings,
color scheme, dance lessons.
200
00:08:12,809 --> 00:08:14,096
And that's just for
the rehearsal dinner.
201
00:08:14,510 --> 00:08:15,330
Oh.
202
00:08:15,351 --> 00:08:17,706
Seriously, that's just
for the rehearsal dinner.
203
00:08:17,707 --> 00:08:19,375
That sounds elaborate.
204
00:08:19,376 --> 00:08:22,918
All we did was punch "jewelry
store" into our car GPS.
205
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,995
You remember that
romantic moment, Chris?
206
00:08:25,161 --> 00:08:26,562
I was getting gas.
207
00:08:26,930 --> 00:08:28,500
No, I don't remember it.
208
00:08:31,193 --> 00:08:33,321
Hey, Tom, I don't mean
to bug you or anything,
209
00:08:33,322 --> 00:08:35,924
but I notice that my super
system binder is closed.
210
00:08:35,925 --> 00:08:39,294
Just checking that you had a chance
to refamiliarize yourself entirely.
211
00:08:39,295 --> 00:08:40,966
Yeah, flipped through it.
Looks good.
212
00:08:40,967 --> 00:08:42,548
Huh.
You're lying.
213
00:08:42,765 --> 00:08:45,872
I placed a single strand
of hair along the edge,
214
00:08:46,012 --> 00:08:47,877
and that secret
strand is unbroken.
215
00:08:47,878 --> 00:08:49,466
Whose hair is that?
It's brown.
216
00:08:49,467 --> 00:08:51,928
Look, it seems like you don't even
care about your presentation.
217
00:08:51,929 --> 00:08:53,843
Au contraire. I'm working
on it right now.
218
00:08:53,844 --> 00:08:55,969
And what's the most important
part of a presentation?
219
00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:56,997
- Content.
- The presentation.
220
00:08:56,998 --> 00:08:58,937
Okay. Tom, you
need hard data.
221
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:00,326
You need facts to
make your case.
222
00:09:00,327 --> 00:09:02,877
And then you need two funny
quotes and an inspirational one.
223
00:09:02,878 --> 00:09:05,605
You know, a classic
ha-ha-hmm.
224
00:09:05,606 --> 00:09:07,658
Look, I think you need to
take a page out of my system
225
00:09:07,659 --> 00:09:10,286
and chill out a bit, okay?
I got this.
226
00:09:10,939 --> 00:09:12,325
Okay, fine, I trust you.
227
00:09:12,326 --> 00:09:14,513
But I think you're gonna fail,
and you're a ticking time bomb.
228
00:09:14,514 --> 00:09:16,081
- What's that?
- Nothing, good luck.
229
00:09:16,082 --> 00:09:17,569
- This is an elk hair.
- Yes.
230
00:09:17,570 --> 00:09:20,452
It's the most effective hair for
binder security. You know that, Ron.
231
00:09:20,453 --> 00:09:21,800
If Tom gives that presentation,
232
00:09:21,801 --> 00:09:25,985
it is going to be a total disaster
for both him and the department.
233
00:09:25,986 --> 00:09:29,525
I cannot sit idly by and watch
this terrible thing happen.
234
00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:32,590
I mean, I can barely sit idly by
and watch good things happen.
235
00:09:32,985 --> 00:09:34,311
We've got a couple
of customs agents
236
00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:36,335
coming down from the border,
and they are not happy.
237
00:09:36,336 --> 00:09:38,251
I can't believe this.
I never break the law.
238
00:09:38,252 --> 00:09:40,209
- I've never even jaywalked.
- Never?
239
00:09:40,210 --> 00:09:43,171
I mean, I-I-I-- everyone
does it sometimes.
240
00:09:43,172 --> 00:09:44,767
Just add that to the charges.
241
00:09:44,768 --> 00:09:47,248
Well, well, well, we got
a hit on your prints.
242
00:09:47,644 --> 00:09:50,025
Seems you're wanted
for tax fraud in Colorado?
243
00:09:50,026 --> 00:09:51,086
What?
244
00:09:51,087 --> 00:09:52,862
I've never even
been to Colorado.
245
00:09:52,863 --> 00:09:54,916
I mean, I had a layover
in Denver once.
246
00:09:54,917 --> 00:09:56,630
Man, you can't keep your
story straight, can you?
247
00:09:56,631 --> 00:09:57,744
- Come on!
- Oh.
248
00:09:57,752 --> 00:09:59,432
Here comes the
customs guys now.
249
00:09:59,454 --> 00:10:00,848
Fellas, he's all yours.
250
00:10:00,849 --> 00:10:03,528
You're pranked.
251
00:10:03,751 --> 00:10:05,518
You gotta see the stupid
look on your face.
252
00:10:05,519 --> 00:10:06,919
Check this out.
I took a picture.
253
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,174
- Classic!
- You seemed a little uptight.
254
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,712
Thought we'd have some
fun with our new boss.
255
00:10:12,397 --> 00:10:14,160
Wow.
Thi--you got me.
256
00:10:14,161 --> 00:10:17,347
Good one, makin' me think I was
gonna like die in federal prison...
257
00:10:17,348 --> 00:10:18,858
Ah, that's super funny,
258
00:10:18,859 --> 00:10:21,003
you scamps.
259
00:10:22,231 --> 00:10:24,707
Now, Stu, I know that you're
thinking about retiring,
260
00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,554
and I am here to ask
you to reconsider.
261
00:10:26,555 --> 00:10:27,481
What do you say?
262
00:10:27,482 --> 00:10:29,831
Keep that Lafayette
Park stand open,
263
00:10:29,832 --> 00:10:31,939
pumpin' out the
stew like you do.
264
00:10:31,940 --> 00:10:33,347
I don't know.
265
00:10:33,348 --> 00:10:35,709
I'm looking forward to
spending time with my wife,
266
00:10:35,710 --> 00:10:37,298
working on some new hobbies.
267
00:10:37,299 --> 00:10:39,634
I was thinking about
getting into bisques.
268
00:10:39,635 --> 00:10:41,645
Stu, you have been a staple
269
00:10:41,646 --> 00:10:43,918
in the parks department
system for years.
270
00:10:43,919 --> 00:10:47,368
Retirement is for the birds.
You're gonna be so bored.
271
00:10:47,369 --> 00:10:49,570
I'm gonna say this because
you need to hear it.
272
00:10:50,078 --> 00:10:51,658
Screw bisque.
273
00:10:52,334 --> 00:10:54,320
- That makes a lot of sense.
- Yeah.
274
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,934
What now?
What do I do?
275
00:10:56,084 --> 00:10:58,043
Well, we're gonna need to
convince the business council
276
00:10:58,044 --> 00:11:00,321
to keep you around, but that's
not for you to worry about.
277
00:11:00,322 --> 00:11:03,394
I'll take care of it. You just
keep on stewin' what you stew.
278
00:11:03,395 --> 00:11:04,752
Thanks, Leslie.
279
00:11:04,853 --> 00:11:06,764
This calls for a toast.
280
00:11:07,848 --> 00:11:10,484
Susan? Stew flutes, please.
281
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:12,739
Ah.
282
00:11:15,055 --> 00:11:16,525
To stew.
283
00:11:18,285 --> 00:11:19,683
Mm.
Oh, my God.
284
00:11:19,684 --> 00:11:21,450
- That's very hot.
- Mm-hmm.
285
00:11:22,189 --> 00:11:23,875
Congratulations.
This is a beauty.
286
00:11:23,876 --> 00:11:26,825
If you like, I could engrave the
date on the inside of the band.
287
00:11:26,826 --> 00:11:30,382
That may be tough, 'cause we
actually haven't discussed it yet.
288
00:11:30,383 --> 00:11:33,131
We could engrave "2014"
289
00:11:33,132 --> 00:11:35,975
- or "TBD."
- Hang on.
290
00:11:35,976 --> 00:11:38,195
If neither of us has ever
thought about this stuff,
291
00:11:38,196 --> 00:11:40,112
then maybe there's a reason.
292
00:11:40,113 --> 00:11:41,921
When you think about
it, we are already
293
00:11:41,922 --> 00:11:43,918
more married than
most married people.
294
00:11:43,919 --> 00:11:47,365
Right? I mean, we're having a child
together. We're moving to a new city.
295
00:11:47,366 --> 00:11:48,740
You let me pee
with the door open
296
00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:50,499
so I could watch the end of
Grey's Anatomy.
297
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,871
That was a fantastic
season finale
298
00:11:52,872 --> 00:11:54,793
and a show that is literally
299
00:11:54,794 --> 00:11:56,720
a never-ending roller
coaster of emotion.
300
00:11:56,721 --> 00:11:58,745
I mean, why spend
thousands of dollars
301
00:11:58,746 --> 00:12:01,087
just to reaffirm
what we already know,
302
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:04,328
- which is that we love each other?
- That is so beautiful.
303
00:12:05,971 --> 00:12:08,730
Theodore, we would like
to return that ring.
304
00:12:08,731 --> 00:12:10,044
And get a refund, please.
305
00:12:10,045 --> 00:12:11,764
Maybe we should
talk this over too.
306
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:14,333
- Oh, come on. - Think what we
could do if we didn't buy this ring.
307
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,671
I mean, this could go
towards buying a house.
308
00:12:17,823 --> 00:12:19,456
You have a lovely store.
309
00:12:20,332 --> 00:12:21,419
- Hey, boss?
- Hey.
310
00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:24,489
I was just printing out my
minesweeper high score,
311
00:12:24,490 --> 00:12:28,276
and I noticed this memo. You're
punishing us for the prank?
312
00:12:28,277 --> 00:12:31,320
No, no, no, no, no, no. It's
just like a warning memo.
313
00:12:31,321 --> 00:12:32,914
Like, "Hey, all in good fun,
314
00:12:32,915 --> 00:12:35,897
"but I'm your boss, and if you
do it again, you're suspended."
315
00:12:35,898 --> 00:12:37,631
- That kind of thing.
- Listen.
316
00:12:37,932 --> 00:12:41,883
I know that you're the
governor or whatever,
317
00:12:41,884 --> 00:12:44,105
and I'm just
government junior.
318
00:12:44,106 --> 00:12:45,705
- What?
- I feel like you're blowing it.
319
00:12:45,706 --> 00:12:48,099
If you want people to like
you, you have to play along.
320
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,187
Don't punish Donna and April.
321
00:12:50,324 --> 00:12:51,684
Prank them back.
322
00:12:51,685 --> 00:12:53,898
I guess I could stand
to loosen up a little,
323
00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:56,351
but I don't know
how to pull a prank.
324
00:12:56,352 --> 00:12:58,397
Dude, okay. Well,
I could help you.
325
00:12:58,398 --> 00:12:59,599
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
326
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,161
I once did the best
prank of all time.
327
00:13:02,162 --> 00:13:04,949
I dumped all of my boss's action
figures into a fish tank.
328
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,536
Yeah, that was me. And I
didn't really like it.
329
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,037
Classic.
330
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,488
Great news, guys.
331
00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:12,581
- I just saved your bacon.
- Impossible.
332
00:13:12,582 --> 00:13:13,808
You don't even
know where it is.
333
00:13:13,809 --> 00:13:17,772
I know you were excited to get in
front of the committee and rip it,
334
00:13:17,773 --> 00:13:19,173
but in the spirit of teamwork,
335
00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:22,336
I unilaterally decided to
bring Stu out of retirement.
336
00:13:22,337 --> 00:13:23,378
- So pressure's off.
- What?
337
00:13:23,379 --> 00:13:25,300
- I spent a lot of time on this.
- Doin' what,
338
00:13:25,301 --> 00:13:27,454
- putting mousse in your hair?
- It's a gel-based serum.
339
00:13:27,455 --> 00:13:29,671
Second of all, who
uses mousse still?
340
00:13:29,672 --> 00:13:31,479
Oh, God.
Leslie.
341
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:33,252
Let's put our differences
aside for a second.
342
00:13:33,253 --> 00:13:34,729
Friend to friend, do
you still use mousse?
343
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:38,800
No, I use the juicy space
thing--whatever you do.
344
00:13:38,801 --> 00:13:41,229
The point is you weren't
ready for this, Tom.
345
00:13:41,230 --> 00:13:43,432
Stu's sales are flat.
Lemonade's the future.
346
00:13:43,433 --> 00:13:46,425
- I'm still doing my presentation.
- I'm still doing my stew presentation,
347
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:47,823
and we'll see which one
the committee likes.
348
00:13:47,824 --> 00:13:49,166
- Fine.
- Fine.
349
00:13:53,561 --> 00:13:54,736
Yeah.
350
00:13:54,737 --> 00:13:56,231
I didn't think so.
351
00:13:58,496 --> 00:14:01,974
On the other hand, there are some
benefits to being married: Taxes,
352
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:04,628
health insurance, and I
don't have to feel weird
353
00:14:04,629 --> 00:14:06,433
when hotel employees
call me "Mr. Perkins."
354
00:14:06,434 --> 00:14:08,515
Yeah, that makes
me feel weird too.
355
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:11,018
Maybe we should.
I don't know anymore.
356
00:14:11,019 --> 00:14:13,406
"Maybe we should. I
don't know anymore."
357
00:14:13,681 --> 00:14:15,394
Ann, that is a
beautiful sentiment.
358
00:14:15,395 --> 00:14:18,207
Okay, you're all set. Credit
card's been fully refunded.
359
00:14:18,208 --> 00:14:19,420
Perfect timing.
360
00:14:19,421 --> 00:14:21,447
We are going to
buy this ring.
361
00:14:21,448 --> 00:14:22,709
Charge it.
362
00:14:26,327 --> 00:14:29,160
Ann Perkins, will
you marry me?
363
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:32,591
- I don't know!
- Me either!
364
00:14:32,592 --> 00:14:35,090
- Maybe let's not?
- Yeah, I think maybe not.
365
00:14:35,448 --> 00:14:38,596
Okay. Ring's yours again.
Hello?
366
00:14:38,597 --> 00:14:40,409
Actually, we don't
want the ring.
367
00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,084
Unbelievable.
368
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,899
Leslie, look.
369
00:14:46,224 --> 00:14:49,506
I'm the last person to want to
deprive the world of more stew,
370
00:14:49,507 --> 00:14:51,467
but are you sure
you wanna do this?
371
00:14:51,468 --> 00:14:55,538
Look, I love Tom, but you and I both
know that he's not ready to step up.
372
00:14:55,539 --> 00:14:57,821
Don't you remember his last
presentation on topsoil?
373
00:14:57,822 --> 00:14:59,622
The botched laser show?
374
00:14:59,623 --> 00:15:01,568
Larry still can't see purple.
375
00:15:01,569 --> 00:15:02,985
That was Larry's fault.
376
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,407
He picked up the laser
and stared right into it.
377
00:15:05,408 --> 00:15:08,181
I know, but still, Tom is
all flash and no substance.
378
00:15:08,182 --> 00:15:09,778
That's the old Tom.
379
00:15:09,779 --> 00:15:12,355
You've been gone for a while, Leslie.
Tom has changed.
380
00:15:12,602 --> 00:15:14,957
He ran a business,
sold it for a profit.
381
00:15:15,084 --> 00:15:17,283
He's also been working
here for six years,
382
00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:19,076
and he's learned a lot
from you.
383
00:15:19,415 --> 00:15:22,653
At some point, you're gonna have
to trust him to do his job.
384
00:15:24,861 --> 00:15:26,435
You guys.
You guys.
385
00:15:26,436 --> 00:15:27,627
- Be cool.
- What's going on?
386
00:15:27,628 --> 00:15:29,998
I kind of convinced Ben
to prank you guys,
387
00:15:29,999 --> 00:15:31,366
and it got
a little out of hand.
388
00:15:31,367 --> 00:15:33,555
I probably should've said
no to some of his ideas,
389
00:15:33,556 --> 00:15:36,335
but he's on his way here right now.
Here he is. Just be cool.
390
00:15:36,786 --> 00:15:38,160
Hey, guys.
What's up?
391
00:15:38,161 --> 00:15:40,093
Um, oh, I just remembered.
392
00:15:40,094 --> 00:15:42,150
Can I show you something
out to the front area?
393
00:15:42,151 --> 00:15:44,958
And leave your cell phones
because of no reason.
394
00:15:44,959 --> 00:15:47,550
Just leave anything that
can't get wet, actually,
395
00:15:47,551 --> 00:15:49,033
like you would normally.
396
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:55,034
Okay, here we go to
the parking lot now.
397
00:15:55,035 --> 00:15:56,901
Wow, this is really sad.
398
00:15:58,979 --> 00:16:00,533
Yep, follow to me, guys.
399
00:16:00,534 --> 00:16:03,860
Just going to the parking lot
for normal government reasons.
400
00:16:05,745 --> 00:16:06,891
Sorry, can't go
through with this.
401
00:16:06,892 --> 00:16:08,428
I was gonna pull a prank.
402
00:16:08,429 --> 00:16:09,476
- No!
- Yeah.
403
00:16:09,477 --> 00:16:12,546
I hired these guys in
ski masks to kidnap us,
404
00:16:12,547 --> 00:16:14,392
and I was gonna
pretend to be a hero.
405
00:16:14,393 --> 00:16:17,563
They were gonna shoot me and
drive the van into the river,
406
00:16:17,564 --> 00:16:20,349
and that's when the divers would go
in, pull you guys out of the water,
407
00:16:20,350 --> 00:16:21,975
and I would be standing
on the shore like,
408
00:16:21,976 --> 00:16:23,743
"Hey, you get pranked much?"
409
00:16:23,878 --> 00:16:25,244
What the fuck?
410
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:28,144
I even got these squibs
from a special effects guy,
411
00:16:28,145 --> 00:16:30,271
and I was gonna say
this code word.
412
00:16:30,272 --> 00:16:31,750
And that's when I would
push this button.
413
00:16:31,751 --> 00:16:33,444
No, no, no, no, no!
414
00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:38,187
Oh, my God. You got
blood all over me.
415
00:16:39,072 --> 00:16:40,339
Thank you.
416
00:16:40,814 --> 00:16:42,021
I mean it.
417
00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:44,377
- Ben, that was amazing.
- Really?
418
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,211
Best prank ever.
419
00:16:48,461 --> 00:16:51,094
I'm sorry, buddy, daddy can't
get home to tuck you in.
420
00:16:51,095 --> 00:16:52,538
Oh, how old is your son?
421
00:16:52,539 --> 00:16:53,864
Just pick a thing.
422
00:16:53,865 --> 00:16:56,786
Honey, look at this.
This is what I want.
423
00:16:56,787 --> 00:16:58,503
I don't want a ring.
I don't want a wedding.
424
00:16:58,504 --> 00:17:00,156
I just want this locket
425
00:17:00,157 --> 00:17:01,857
with a picture of
our child in it.
426
00:17:01,858 --> 00:17:03,863
I mean, we've never
been traditional.
427
00:17:03,864 --> 00:17:06,294
We made out the first
night we ever met.
428
00:17:06,295 --> 00:17:08,231
And when we did
date, we broke up,
429
00:17:08,232 --> 00:17:10,560
but you didn't realize it, and that
was very embarrassing for you.
430
00:17:10,561 --> 00:17:12,540
Yeah, let's maybe not talk
about that part right now.
431
00:17:12,541 --> 00:17:15,971
And then we got pregnant as
friends, and then we fell in love.
432
00:17:15,972 --> 00:17:18,252
We've never been very
conventional, so
433
00:17:18,467 --> 00:17:19,869
why start now?
434
00:17:19,870 --> 00:17:22,604
Theodore? We will not
be needing that ring,
435
00:17:22,605 --> 00:17:25,191
but we would like
to purchase this locket.
436
00:17:25,192 --> 00:17:26,125
How much?
437
00:17:26,126 --> 00:17:27,760
Just take it and
get outta here.
438
00:17:27,761 --> 00:17:29,448
- Thank you!
- Thanks.
439
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,295
We're here to discuss
a business contract
440
00:17:35,296 --> 00:17:37,384
for the Lafayette
Park food stand.
441
00:17:37,385 --> 00:17:40,773
Miss Knope, you've always steered this
committee in the right direction.
442
00:17:40,774 --> 00:17:43,807
Why do you think we should
renew Hot Stu's lease?
443
00:17:46,493 --> 00:17:48,794
Well, frankly,
it's because of Stu.
444
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:52,225
Here's a man who was
ready to retire,
445
00:17:52,632 --> 00:17:54,386
spend time
with his family, travel.
446
00:17:54,387 --> 00:17:57,316
And then he realized, "No,
I wanna spend my time
447
00:17:57,317 --> 00:17:59,719
"in a small metal
box all summer,
448
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:03,716
bent over a boiling cauldron
of steaming, bubbling meat."
449
00:18:03,717 --> 00:18:05,118
Making stew is hard:
450
00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,357
Up at the crack of dawn,
backbreaking labor,
451
00:18:07,358 --> 00:18:09,929
your clothes smelling
like salt and gristle.
452
00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:13,012
Sure, profits are minimal, but
Stu doesn't care about that.
453
00:18:13,013 --> 00:18:15,684
Maybe a year extension
isn't enough.
454
00:18:15,685 --> 00:18:17,436
Maybe we should make it
five years.
455
00:18:17,437 --> 00:18:20,496
Heck, why don't we give
him a lifetime deal?
456
00:18:20,497 --> 00:18:24,974
I'd like to see Stu ladling out
his pungent beef smoothies
457
00:18:24,975 --> 00:18:27,415
until we bury him
under that shed.
458
00:18:29,580 --> 00:18:31,411
I think I've made
a terrible mistake.
459
00:18:31,412 --> 00:18:33,056
Okay, that was bleak.
460
00:18:33,057 --> 00:18:36,767
Uh, Mr. Haverford, you have
a presentation as well?
461
00:18:36,768 --> 00:18:39,003
Hey. Rip it.
462
00:18:40,611 --> 00:18:43,137
There's nothing more American
than lemonade.
463
00:18:43,138 --> 00:18:45,890
Just sayin' the word makes
you wanna drink some.
464
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:48,213
And now you can.
Check under your seats.
465
00:18:50,056 --> 00:18:52,353
Heh, hey. Has my name on it.
466
00:18:52,354 --> 00:18:55,155
Yes, it does. Classic
for you, Carter.
467
00:18:55,156 --> 00:18:56,962
Darva, yours is a
pink lemonade.
468
00:18:56,963 --> 00:18:58,499
- I know you love that.
- Because I like pink.
469
00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:03,046
That's right. Now, who
here likes laser shows?
470
00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:07,643
Summer foot traffic in Lafayette
Park has increased 23%.
471
00:19:07,644 --> 00:19:10,201
The Indiana Brothers
are the fastest-growing
472
00:19:10,202 --> 00:19:11,875
beverage company
in the Midwest.
473
00:19:11,876 --> 00:19:13,724
My projections show
they can increase
474
00:19:13,725 --> 00:19:17,547
government revenue 30%
over the next five years.
475
00:19:17,548 --> 00:19:21,321
Plus, they've agreed to
waive their franchise fee.
476
00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:24,752
Look, guys, I'm sorry
about all the new rules,
477
00:19:24,753 --> 00:19:26,730
But--you know,
I want you to like me.
478
00:19:26,731 --> 00:19:29,173
But I-I also really
need you to respect me.
479
00:19:29,174 --> 00:19:31,241
I respect you, little buddy.
480
00:19:31,242 --> 00:19:32,229
Come here.
481
00:19:32,230 --> 00:19:33,823
Mm, respect noogie.
482
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:34,816
Ah!
483
00:19:35,024 --> 00:19:36,800
We didn't prank you 'cause
we don't respect you.
484
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,460
We did it 'cause we love you.
485
00:19:38,461 --> 00:19:40,277
♪ R-e-s-p-e-g-c
486
00:19:40,278 --> 00:19:43,185
Well, that's actually not
how respect is spelled.
487
00:19:43,186 --> 00:19:44,745
- Yes.
- According to Urethra Franklin,
488
00:19:44,746 --> 00:19:46,863
- that's exactly how it's spelled.
- Hey, Wyatt.
489
00:19:46,864 --> 00:19:48,427
You were a good
sport earlier.
490
00:19:48,806 --> 00:19:50,254
No hard feelings?
491
00:19:51,043 --> 00:19:53,209
Here's a little gift for
you for believing in me.
492
00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:56,430
- Oh.
- It's a gel-based hair serum.
493
00:19:56,641 --> 00:19:58,668
Enough with the
mousse, for real.
494
00:19:58,669 --> 00:20:00,005
Okay.
495
00:20:00,518 --> 00:20:03,193
Well, Ron, you were right.
Tom has really grown up.
496
00:20:03,194 --> 00:20:06,493
You seem merely overjoyed instead
of irritatingly ecstatic.
497
00:20:06,494 --> 00:20:10,769
- Why? - Well, Tom's come into
his own. April runs Animal Control.
498
00:20:11,195 --> 00:20:13,407
I mean, does this department
even need me anymore?
499
00:20:13,408 --> 00:20:15,698
No.
We do not.
500
00:20:15,699 --> 00:20:19,716
April and Tom started out as two of the
most apathetic people I had ever met.
501
00:20:19,717 --> 00:20:21,719
It's why I hired them.
502
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,316
Then you betrayed
me and turned them
503
00:20:23,317 --> 00:20:26,069
into efficient and caring
government employees.
504
00:20:26,070 --> 00:20:28,657
This office can indeed
function without you.
505
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:30,707
And soon, it'll have to.
506
00:20:30,941 --> 00:20:32,329
Was that a death threat?
507
00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:34,848
We both know you're not
gonna be here forever.
508
00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:36,751
This is a weigh station
509
00:20:36,752 --> 00:20:39,016
on the road to bigger
and better things.
510
00:20:39,017 --> 00:20:41,384
Whenever you do move on,
511
00:20:41,666 --> 00:20:43,717
it should please
you to know that--
512
00:20:45,337 --> 00:20:46,496
God help me--
513
00:20:46,497 --> 00:20:49,324
you've built a well-functioning
government agency.
514
00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:51,021
Oh, that reminds me.
515
00:20:51,022 --> 00:20:52,793
I know you don't open
your mail, but I do.
516
00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:55,476
And because you created
Tom's position--
517
00:20:55,477 --> 00:20:58,947
business liaison-- and it's
already financially paying off,
518
00:20:58,948 --> 00:21:03,341
you have received Pawnee's
government employee of the month.
519
00:21:03,493 --> 00:21:06,295
I mean, it has taken--
520
00:21:24,453 --> 00:21:31,453
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