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Previously on House of lies...
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This was supposed to be
a game-changer for me,
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and he just does
whatever the fuck he wants.
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I know. Classic Marty, huh?
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What do you want, Marty?
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- We miss you at the new shop.
- I really want to thank you,
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julianne-- I am learning
a tremendous amount from you.
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- I enjoy mentoring.
- It looks like
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gil has been using
a statistical
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methodology that's been
outmoded for years.
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Good luck with that dod account.
It's in your hands now.
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Marty's ex-wife, she's 100%
shithouse-fucking-rat-crazy.
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Sic semper tyrannis!
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Just fucking fire me, please.
Just fucking get me out of here.
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I am gonna keep you here for the
re of your mediocre career!
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Robert Tretorn, free range
You are never
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gonna find heirloom seaweed at
that white-trash colossal foods.
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How drunk are you?
You take colossal foods,
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I take free range.
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It'll keep them on the hook
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forever.
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Oh, this is so good.
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This is like a roller coaster,
you know?
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Like full throttle
at magic Mountain or...
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Oh, sooperdooperlooper
at hersheypark. Fuck.
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Oh, God, you're
so fucking stupid.
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Wait, why would you say that...
Oh, shu... shh!
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Shh! Shh! Shh. Oh. Oh.
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Big day, Kitty cat.
Mmm.
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Do you want some coffee?
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I have a coffee maker.
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Somewhere.
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Didn't you move in, like,
seven months ago?
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Yes, well, I'm not
exactly hattie homemaker.
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So I guess no fresh baked
muffins either?
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No. Sorry.
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Hey, uh, what time is
your meeting at colossal foods?
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Uh, we land in
Phoenix at noon, so...
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By 1:00, Ted Lasky will think
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that converting a fleet
of stores
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into a healthy-
living brand
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was his idea.
Wow.
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You always been
this fucking cocky?
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I just hope you can pull it off
on your end.
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Because rumor on the street
is that you've lost a step.
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And I'm imagining this rumor
was started by...
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Somebody had to.
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Voila.
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Coffee maker.
Yeah.
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Do you have any coffee?
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No, I do not.
No, you do not.
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Doesn't matter. I'll pick
some up from free range.
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Robert tretorn, on his latest
jaunt into the amazonian
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rain forest, has discovered a
bean that will make you question
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everything you ever thought
about hot beverages.
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Why do I get the feeling
you're gonna love
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ruining Tretorn's day?
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'Cause I'm gonna love ruining.
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Tretorn's day.
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Come on!
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An existential threat to his...
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Pretentious baby?
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Oh, God.
Gonna be like...
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Christmas fucking morning.
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Yeah. And a, uh, full
frontal attack from colossal,
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with a deep pocket like that, is gonna
send him scrambling.
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I know. It's gonna be a
beautiful thing. Mm-hmm.
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Cleanup on aisle five,
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six, seven.
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You gonna open the door or...?
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Yes, I'm gonna get the door.
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You can just...
Help yourself
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to... anything.
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Hey. Sorry. I left my, uh...
Hi.
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Yep. Oh, there it is.
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What up? Hey, what's up,
bro? What's going down?
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How you doing, man?
He came straight from softball
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last night, so...
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I'm a catcher.
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You don't say.
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Yeah. All right,
you know what?
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I should get going.
Duty calls, so...
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All right.
Hey, stay awesome.
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Please?
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Don't leave him hanging.
Pound it out.
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Thank you.
All right.
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Bye. Okay.
Mm.
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Oh, I think
he might be the one,
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Jeannie. Right, because every girl
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you've ever fucked is
a theoretical physicist.
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So, he's a catcher.
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Now, what position does he play
on the softball team? Oh, no.
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You do not get to have the
Jeannie-with-a-strap-on fantasy.
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Sorry, Marty, you had
your chance-- you blew it.
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Yeah, uh, look,
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I know we never had
a real conversation
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about anything that... you
know what? I have so much to do
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before I get on this flight.
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00:04:07,254 --> 00:04:09,622
Yep. I got to get Roscoe
to school.
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Tell me you're not gonna
fuck me over on this.
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Are you kidding me?
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Jeannie, come on. What...
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Whatever you think about me,
why would I do that?
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From a purely
financial standpoint.
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Jeannie, this is gonna be huge
for both of us, okay?
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My brand-new company gets
a steady cash infusion,
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and you get to waltz
right back into Galweather
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as a conquering hero.
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I already have julianne
pirouetting
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like a ballerina in a music box.
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This is a win, Marty,
but I certainly don't need it.
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So why are you doing it?
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Maybe I'm gonna fuck you over.
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Yeah. Maybe.
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My office.
Oh, Jeannie.
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I couldn't sleep last night.
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And normally
I'm an amazing sleeper,
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but last night, I was,
like, mwah, you know?
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I mean, I was just raised
with certain values.
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You get what I'm saying.
I mean, I think
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00:05:06,781 --> 00:05:08,715
our childhoods are
pretty similar, actually.
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Our families lived
paycheck to paycheck.
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Christmas was a homemade scarf
and an extra slice of ham.
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And while the rich kids were off
skiing and horseback riding,
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we were developing
strong moral character.
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I mean, we're not saints,
Jeannie,
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but we're what my aunt Helen
would call good people.
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Benita, I have absolutely no
idea what you're talking about.
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The work we're doing.
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For the defense department.
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: Why are you
whispering? Because I think
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we've crossed some legal
and ethical boundaries.
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When we first started,
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I was focused
on the statistical models.
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But now, seeing the breadth
of the data mining,
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it goes well beyond
what the FISA court
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deemed constitutional. Okay,
I'm getting every other word,
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so if you could just condense what
you... I'm sorry. You have justeen
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such an amazing mentor.
What? She's not your mentor.
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And I am on the horns of
a real dilemma.
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I mean, I consider
myself a patriot.
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I love my country.
I love my country.
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And, I mean, I definitely
wouldn't want for there
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to be another 911.
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What? Who calls it 911?
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It's 9/11. A lot of
people died that day, Doug.
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Does it really
matter what we call it?
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Hey. A guy who once dated
my aunt
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00:06:03,938 --> 00:06:06,339
worked at cantor Fitzgerald, so
don't you... no. Okay. All right.
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Don't you dare give me the
high hat. It's okay. No...
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00:06:08,075 --> 00:06:10,076
Well, now you said
"give me the high hat."
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He brings it out in me.
I don't mean to.
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Oh, yeah. Doug, I wish so
much for us to be friends.
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That's the bird. He just
flipped me the bird, Jeannie.
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Really, Doug? Really?
Yeah.
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Telling stories. Jeannie... excuse me.
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Can I help you with something?
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No.
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I'm good.
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Hmm.
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Hi.
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Okay. Yeah.
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It's privacy violations
up the wazoo.
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Come on. And it's not
just illegal, it's wrong.
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And I'm not just saying this.
I mean, even us good girls
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have our moments, too-- look,
I'm-I'm not ashamed to admit
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I may have sent a topless selfie
or two in my day.
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Ugh.
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00:06:46,347 --> 00:06:47,947
And I wouldn't be opposed
to letting the government
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have a peek if I thought
it would aid national security.
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: If these
silver dollars could thwart
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the international
terrorist effort,
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God bless you.
Otherwise, I say,
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00:06:54,054 --> 00:06:55,688
"eyes to yourself,
federal agents.
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Unless you're cute and drive
a nice car.
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Jeannie, they need you
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in the conference room.
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Um...
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Did they say why?
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Beautiful day, isn't it,
darlin'?
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It's okay.
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Sir...
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Gil, my man.
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Good to see you again.
You, too, you big bear.
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00:07:33,827 --> 00:07:35,828
It is good to be here.
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00:07:35,829 --> 00:07:39,332
Hey, Jeannie.
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Why don't you...
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Find a seat.
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00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,512
I'm back!
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00:08:02,189 --> 00:08:04,691
I can't believe
we're at fucking.
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00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:06,359
Monica's house.
Feel like we're errand boys
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00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,194
while she's off doing
her morning ablutions, man.
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00:08:08,195 --> 00:08:09,329
This is a fucking shit show.
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00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:11,464
Life's a fucking shit show.
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Aw, thank you so much,
r-rated Charlie brown.
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00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:14,300
I'm happy you're here.
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00:08:14,301 --> 00:08:15,668
I'm not Charlie brown.
You're exactly
198
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:18,805
Charlie brown, except for
that cute little red-haired girl
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00:08:18,806 --> 00:08:20,540
just plunged a knife
into Lucy's thigh
200
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,342
and you're acting
like it's business as usual.
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00:08:22,343 --> 00:08:25,411
This should've been
a call to revolution.
202
00:08:25,412 --> 00:08:27,347
Should've been the stab
heard 'round the world.
203
00:08:27,348 --> 00:08:30,283
You can't hear a stab. It's a fucking
metaphor. Of course you can't hear a stab.
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00:08:30,284 --> 00:08:32,285
You look like shit.
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00:08:32,286 --> 00:08:33,820
Not get any sleep last night?
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00:08:33,821 --> 00:08:36,522
Fuck sleep. You know
what we should be doing?
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00:08:36,523 --> 00:08:37,857
We should be tanking shit.
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00:08:37,858 --> 00:08:39,459
You're not serious.
If we do it subtle,
209
00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:41,361
if we miss a number here
or there, if we do it right now,
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00:08:41,362 --> 00:08:43,730
we can pull it off. Absolutely. If
we all work together, you are serious.
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00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,932
If we all rise up at the
same time, we can take her down.
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00:08:45,933 --> 00:08:47,000
I guarantee
we can take her down.
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00:08:47,001 --> 00:08:49,335
Monica's our boss.
Crazy powerful,
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00:08:49,336 --> 00:08:51,604
and I mean that not in the sense
of "very powerful,"
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00:08:51,605 --> 00:08:54,907
which she is, but literally
bat-shit out of her mind.
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00:08:54,908 --> 00:08:56,542
Let me plug that data
217
00:08:56,543 --> 00:08:58,678
in here.
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00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:02,348
Oh. It says, "good luck
working again, dumb-ass."
219
00:09:02,349 --> 00:09:03,383
You're fucking useless.
220
00:09:03,384 --> 00:09:04,917
You're trapped by a lion.
221
00:09:04,918 --> 00:09:06,919
You don't say, "fuck you, lion."
222
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:10,223
You play dead and pray to God
it doesn't eat you.
223
00:09:10,224 --> 00:09:12,692
When have you ever been around
a lion in your life? Sir Clyde.
224
00:09:12,693 --> 00:09:14,227
I thought that was you in here.
Look at this.
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00:09:14,228 --> 00:09:17,897
Little Marty. Or should I say
way-bigger-than-Marty
226
00:09:17,898 --> 00:09:19,198
little Marty?
What's good, man?
227
00:09:19,199 --> 00:09:21,868
Nothing much. You know,
I am sing someone.
228
00:09:21,869 --> 00:09:24,537
Oh, you're seeing someone.
You know, I was actually
229
00:09:24,538 --> 00:09:26,239
getting something started
with a woman myself,
230
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:29,375
but she ended up stabbing
your mom.
231
00:09:29,376 --> 00:09:30,877
It's always something, right?
232
00:09:30,878 --> 00:09:32,211
Right.
233
00:09:32,212 --> 00:09:33,379
Oh, hey, dad.
234
00:09:33,380 --> 00:09:35,515
Hey, man. Go get your stuff. All right.
235
00:09:35,516 --> 00:09:39,018
Didn't expect to see you.
236
00:09:39,019 --> 00:09:41,587
Well, when your fucking wife
has been...
237
00:09:41,588 --> 00:09:44,724
Yeah. I thought you
would've been somewhere
238
00:09:44,725 --> 00:09:46,993
lost in an eight-ball
on kinsley's dime.
239
00:09:46,994 --> 00:09:48,528
Maybe I could be
recuperating properly
240
00:09:48,529 --> 00:09:50,063
if you hadn't fucked me
with colossal foods.
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00:09:50,064 --> 00:09:52,765
Fuck that.
242
00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:56,035
These goddamn
millennials, right? I mean,
243
00:09:56,036 --> 00:09:57,937
back in my day, when you shivved
your crazy-ass boss,
244
00:09:57,938 --> 00:10:00,406
you went for a vital organ
245
00:10:00,407 --> 00:10:03,076
and you twisted that fucker.
You didn't... the thigh?
246
00:10:03,077 --> 00:10:04,343
Not the thigh.
What is that?
247
00:10:04,344 --> 00:10:06,546
Mmm. Uh...
248
00:10:06,547 --> 00:10:08,448
You would miss me if I was dead,
249
00:10:08,449 --> 00:10:09,782
huh?
250
00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:11,551
Ready, dad. Bye, mom.
251
00:10:11,552 --> 00:10:13,920
Later, Clyde.
Bye, baby. Mwah.
252
00:10:13,921 --> 00:10:15,888
Bye, Roscoe.
253
00:10:20,094 --> 00:10:23,229
For real? Oh, my God. Excuse me.
254
00:10:23,230 --> 00:10:26,132
I don't even feel anything.
255
00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:28,634
It's crazy.
256
00:10:28,635 --> 00:10:30,303
There'll be some restructuring,
257
00:10:30,304 --> 00:10:32,472
of course, as we, you know,
integrate the...
258
00:10:32,473 --> 00:10:34,307
New faces with the old ones.
There'll be
259
00:10:34,308 --> 00:10:35,842
some shifting
of responsibilities
260
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:39,812
and some shuffling of offices.
261
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,948
But you know what? All that
can wait for another day.
262
00:10:41,949 --> 00:10:46,119
Today is about celebration,
as we triumph in this company's
263
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:50,123
return to its glory days.
264
00:10:50,124 --> 00:10:52,458
To Galweather stearn, the way
265
00:10:52,459 --> 00:10:54,060
that God intended it.
266
00:10:54,061 --> 00:10:55,895
Hear, hear.
Hear, hear.
267
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:02,635
Now go forth and jihad!
268
00:11:06,774 --> 00:11:08,174
Oh, Jeannie.
269
00:11:08,175 --> 00:11:10,643
Uh, Jeannie, Jeannie, hey.
270
00:11:10,644 --> 00:11:12,145
Can I have a word?
271
00:11:27,194 --> 00:11:31,330
You know, for most of the last
year and a half, I've been a...
272
00:11:31,331 --> 00:11:33,199
A goddamn pariah.
273
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,068
My friends, they wouldn't
even be seen with me,
274
00:11:36,069 --> 00:11:39,505
let alone, you know, hire me.
275
00:11:39,506 --> 00:11:41,974
I had to sell my vineyard.
276
00:11:41,975 --> 00:11:43,142
Did you know that?
277
00:11:43,143 --> 00:11:45,711
My lawyers tell me
278
00:11:45,712 --> 00:11:47,914
I can't even fire
279
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,316
the stupid little cunt
that made all this happen.
280
00:11:52,953 --> 00:11:54,954
I... can I just say one thing?
281
00:11:54,955 --> 00:11:57,023
Mm-hmm. These friends
that couldn't hang
282
00:11:57,024 --> 00:11:59,158
with your dehumanization of--
283
00:11:59,159 --> 00:12:01,160
what was the final number--
16 women?--
284
00:12:01,161 --> 00:12:03,629
maybe they weren't your real friends
to begin with. Look, you know what?
285
00:12:03,630 --> 00:12:07,233
Don't feed me
that coercion bullshit.
286
00:12:07,234 --> 00:12:10,102
I didn't hold a gun
to any of your heads.
287
00:12:10,103 --> 00:12:11,504
You wanted to.
288
00:12:11,505 --> 00:12:15,374
Oh, God, yes.
The too-tight shirts,
289
00:12:15,375 --> 00:12:18,010
the thick, fetid breath,
290
00:12:18,011 --> 00:12:20,246
the snow white bush,
291
00:12:20,247 --> 00:12:22,481
we all just had to have it.
292
00:12:22,482 --> 00:12:26,385
I mean, what girl doesn't dream
of blowing Santa claus?
293
00:12:26,386 --> 00:12:28,354
Hmm.
294
00:12:31,758 --> 00:12:33,759
I liked fucking you.
295
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,495
But I'm gonna...
296
00:12:36,496 --> 00:12:38,331
Really...
297
00:12:38,332 --> 00:12:40,199
Like fucking you.
298
00:12:45,505 --> 00:12:47,707
I have a plane to catch.
299
00:12:47,708 --> 00:12:48,841
Colossal foods.
300
00:12:48,842 --> 00:12:50,843
Oh, right.
301
00:12:53,247 --> 00:12:55,915
Well, go make Santa
a shitload of money.
302
00:12:57,885 --> 00:12:59,886
How did this happen?
303
00:12:59,887 --> 00:13:02,088
You think gil reached out?
304
00:13:02,089 --> 00:13:05,291
I don't know. Maybe.
305
00:13:05,292 --> 00:13:06,792
I mean, even so,
306
00:13:06,793 --> 00:13:09,128
the rainmaker?
That doesn't make any sense.
307
00:13:09,129 --> 00:13:11,597
It makes perfect sense, Doug.
308
00:13:11,598 --> 00:13:12,932
How?
309
00:13:12,933 --> 00:13:15,001
You know how a-a,
a football team
310
00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:17,270
will go through
a rebuilding phase?
311
00:13:17,271 --> 00:13:19,605
No, not...
A basketball team?
312
00:13:19,606 --> 00:13:21,741
Not really.
A baseball team?
313
00:13:21,742 --> 00:13:23,376
I don't get that game.
314
00:13:23,377 --> 00:13:26,279
Any team?
I'm more of a squash guy.
315
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:27,880
Yeah. I can get
into squash. Or crew.
316
00:13:27,881 --> 00:13:29,949
Does the... does the
analogy fit... teams...
317
00:13:29,950 --> 00:13:34,153
Sometimes try to change the
ethos of the locker room
318
00:13:34,154 --> 00:13:37,757
by going to a youth movement or
bringing in "character guys."
319
00:13:37,758 --> 00:13:39,592
They lose a few too many games,
320
00:13:39,593 --> 00:13:41,427
and the next season
they open up their wallets
321
00:13:41,428 --> 00:13:43,329
and they buy a bunch
of all-stars.
322
00:13:43,330 --> 00:13:45,331
The rainmaker and his
cronies. Correct, Doug.
323
00:13:45,332 --> 00:13:46,999
Okay. The rainmaker and his cronies.
324
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,801
All right, so what do we do?
325
00:13:48,802 --> 00:13:52,071
I mean, apart from obviously
killing it today at colossal.
326
00:13:52,072 --> 00:13:53,906
Right?
327
00:13:53,907 --> 00:13:57,076
I don't know.
328
00:13:59,079 --> 00:14:01,914
Hey. Here's a thought.
329
00:14:01,915 --> 00:14:06,519
What if I request a transfer
to gil's pod?
330
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,355
He's close to the rainmaker.
That way, I can keep my eyes
331
00:14:09,356 --> 00:14:10,890
and ears out for you, make sure
332
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:13,059
there-there are no nasty
surprises headed your way.
333
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,994
Wow, your loyalty is
so impressive, Doug.
334
00:14:14,995 --> 00:14:17,330
Okay. I was just...
I get it. All right.
335
00:14:17,331 --> 00:14:19,932
No jumping ship. Enough said. Yeah.
336
00:14:19,933 --> 00:14:22,935
With you to the bitter end. Thank you.
337
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,107
I mean, unless you
say otherwise... Doug.
338
00:14:28,108 --> 00:14:29,942
Okay. It's fine.
339
00:14:29,943 --> 00:14:32,812
So, I was just in the restroom.
I got to thinking... gross.
340
00:14:32,813 --> 00:14:34,280
Julianne was obviously
341
00:14:34,281 --> 00:14:37,283
a political animal, very much
the accommodator type, but maybe
342
00:14:37,284 --> 00:14:40,152
this rainmaker person would be
willing to play hardball
343
00:14:40,153 --> 00:14:42,655
with the dod to get us into
compliance with federal law.
344
00:14:42,656 --> 00:14:44,390
We do great work. The dod
would not want to lose...
345
00:14:44,391 --> 00:14:46,726
Shut up. Please,
benita, just shut up
346
00:14:46,727 --> 00:14:48,961
and do your job. Okay?
Shut up.
347
00:14:48,962 --> 00:14:51,197
Why is that such a difficult
concept for you to grasp?
348
00:14:51,198 --> 00:14:52,965
Huh? Do what you were hired to do. Why?
349
00:14:52,966 --> 00:14:54,500
Mind your own business.
350
00:14:54,501 --> 00:14:55,568
Now sit the fuck down.
351
00:14:55,569 --> 00:14:56,969
Yeah.
352
00:14:58,405 --> 00:15:01,774
Holy shit.
353
00:15:02,843 --> 00:15:04,777
So, these rumblings,
354
00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:07,113
are theyust rumblings
or what? No, no, no.
355
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:10,383
Ted Lasky has fast-tracked
his senior managers on this.
356
00:15:10,384 --> 00:15:12,785
Colossal foods will have
a new brand up and running
357
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:15,521
by early next year. They don't
give a shit about the earth.
358
00:15:15,522 --> 00:15:17,390
I give a shit about the
earth. I know, I know.
359
00:15:17,391 --> 00:15:19,592
I have made it my life's mission
to protect the earth.
360
00:15:19,593 --> 00:15:21,727
I don't think Ted Lasky
even knows
361
00:15:21,728 --> 00:15:24,196
that's the planet we're on. Look,
don't worry about it, Robert, okay?
362
00:15:24,197 --> 00:15:25,598
We got you.
363
00:15:25,599 --> 00:15:27,933
Colossal is
a free market succubus
364
00:15:27,934 --> 00:15:30,603
with a slavish devotion
to the bottom line.
365
00:15:30,604 --> 00:15:34,774
Mm-hmm. And this guy's $40
million in salary last year
366
00:15:34,775 --> 00:15:37,576
is just the earth's
way of saying thank you.
367
00:15:37,577 --> 00:15:40,579
No, this experiment of theirs
is gonna go up in flames.
368
00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:42,715
They have no feel for organics.
369
00:15:42,716 --> 00:15:44,583
There's no artistry there.
370
00:15:44,584 --> 00:15:45,851
No, let 'em burn.
371
00:15:45,852 --> 00:15:47,453
We're gonna keep doing
what we're doing,
372
00:15:47,454 --> 00:15:49,622
and we're gonna dance on their
ashes. Whoa. Wait-wait a minute.
373
00:15:49,623 --> 00:15:52,958
Uh, Robert, now, clearly
they're philistines. Yeah.
374
00:15:52,959 --> 00:15:54,126
They're pretenders.
375
00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:56,262
That's right.
Ted Lasky
376
00:15:56,263 --> 00:15:58,531
wouldn't know a goji Berry
from a dingle Berry.
377
00:15:58,532 --> 00:16:00,733
But... do not help me.
378
00:16:00,734 --> 00:16:03,469
But the people are gonna see
a brand-spanking-new store
379
00:16:03,470 --> 00:16:05,738
at the end of their street.
It's gonna be called,
380
00:16:05,739 --> 00:16:08,741
I don't know, fresh and organic
or golden meadows
381
00:16:08,742 --> 00:16:11,210
or whatever the fuck
their high-priced market testers
382
00:16:11,211 --> 00:16:13,813
spit out of their
word-combining algorithm.
383
00:16:13,814 --> 00:16:15,714
The design of the store,
384
00:16:15,715 --> 00:16:19,251
the signage-- it will look
like free range foods.
385
00:16:19,252 --> 00:16:21,187
And they're gonna set their
prices just a little bit lower
386
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:23,789
than yours, and they're
gonna keep 'em there
387
00:16:23,790 --> 00:16:26,459
until the only fresh produce
you have in the store's gonna be
388
00:16:26,460 --> 00:16:29,295
that tumbleweed rolling down
the aisle where the frozen food
389
00:16:29,296 --> 00:16:31,831
used to be. Nah, the
consumer's smarter than that.
390
00:16:31,832 --> 00:16:32,898
Come on.
What?
391
00:16:32,899 --> 00:16:34,100
They're gonna see through it?
392
00:16:34,101 --> 00:16:34,967
Yeah.
Come on.
393
00:16:34,968 --> 00:16:36,235
Are you kidding me, Robert?
394
00:16:36,236 --> 00:16:37,903
Fucking sheeple?
395
00:16:37,904 --> 00:16:41,373
Come on... Americans--
fucking everywhere-icans,
396
00:16:41,374 --> 00:16:44,243
they're gonna go for the lowest
common denominator every time.
397
00:16:44,244 --> 00:16:46,078
You know that.
398
00:16:46,079 --> 00:16:49,482
Listen, when you started
this company,
399
00:16:49,483 --> 00:16:52,485
you took the people by the hand. Yeah.
400
00:16:52,486 --> 00:16:54,487
That's right. You introduced
them to quinoa
401
00:16:54,488 --> 00:16:57,690
and-and kombucha and twig tea.
Yeah.
402
00:16:57,691 --> 00:16:59,191
You opened their eyes.
403
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:01,660
The revolution isn't over, baby.
404
00:17:01,661 --> 00:17:03,829
Let us help you.
405
00:17:03,830 --> 00:17:07,633
Okay? Because better
still matters.
406
00:17:10,303 --> 00:17:11,637
Let's give it a shot.
407
00:17:11,638 --> 00:17:13,606
Okay.
408
00:17:13,607 --> 00:17:17,276
Where
the fuck are they?! That's it.
409
00:17:17,277 --> 00:17:20,779
Which one of you stole
my fucking drugs?
410
00:17:20,780 --> 00:17:22,515
Huh?
That's professional.
411
00:17:22,516 --> 00:17:24,216
Huh? I know
it was one of you.
412
00:17:24,217 --> 00:17:25,818
Turn your pockets inside
out. I want to see oh, my God.
413
00:17:25,819 --> 00:17:28,387
What is inside your pockets.
Hey, crazy lady,
414
00:17:28,388 --> 00:17:30,156
nobody stole your fucking drugs,
all right?
415
00:17:30,157 --> 00:17:31,891
Is it possible that maybe
416
00:17:31,892 --> 00:17:33,425
you just forgot
where you put them?
417
00:17:34,661 --> 00:17:36,662
Now.
418
00:17:36,663 --> 00:17:38,497
Open up your pockets.
419
00:17:38,498 --> 00:17:40,065
Really?
420
00:17:40,066 --> 00:17:42,067
Are you seriously
taking your pockets?
421
00:17:42,068 --> 00:17:43,068
That's it.
422
00:17:43,069 --> 00:17:45,171
I'm done.
You're fucking insane,
423
00:17:45,172 --> 00:17:46,872
okay? I'm out. Have a good life.
Hmm.
424
00:17:46,873 --> 00:17:49,375
You should probably wait
for an actual offer from booz
425
00:17:49,376 --> 00:17:51,911
before you quit this job.
426
00:17:51,912 --> 00:17:54,246
Yep. I know about
your interview,
427
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:57,082
and I think that they're gonna
hire somebody else.
428
00:17:57,083 --> 00:17:59,018
Call it a hunch.
429
00:17:59,019 --> 00:18:01,420
You will learn to love me.
430
00:18:01,421 --> 00:18:03,489
Or not.
Either way,
431
00:18:03,490 --> 00:18:05,758
you're mine forever!
432
00:18:08,528 --> 00:18:11,330
Where the fuck are my drugs?!
433
00:18:21,441 --> 00:18:23,776
Will, you are making
my scone uncomfortable.
434
00:18:23,777 --> 00:18:25,377
Those brown bits,
are they bacon?
435
00:18:25,378 --> 00:18:27,980
I skipped breakfast
or I'd give it to you.
436
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:29,648
I wasn't asking. It's cool.
437
00:18:29,649 --> 00:18:31,984
The orange on top though,
that's cheddar?
438
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:33,719
Cheddar. Mmm.
Cheddar. Yes,
439
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,588
it compliments...
All right, kiddies,
440
00:18:35,589 --> 00:18:38,324
what do we got? Talk to me. All
right, free range should threaten
441
00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:40,926
to drop their small providers
if they sell to the new entity.
442
00:18:40,927 --> 00:18:44,396
Yeah.
We wrap our fingers around all their
443
00:18:44,397 --> 00:18:46,131
scrawny little necks.
444
00:18:46,132 --> 00:18:47,433
And just squeeze.
445
00:18:49,669 --> 00:18:52,171
Yeah. Um... anything?
446
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,173
We identify where colossal
intends to convert stores
447
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:55,441
and build new free ranges
448
00:18:55,442 --> 00:18:57,776
in those areas. Wow.
449
00:18:57,777 --> 00:18:58,911
Wait. Question:
450
00:18:58,912 --> 00:19:01,280
How much longer
do you think it would take
451
00:19:01,281 --> 00:19:02,748
to find a new location,
452
00:19:02,749 --> 00:19:04,783
purchase it, build a store,
453
00:19:04,784 --> 00:19:06,318
as opposed to just, you know,
454
00:19:06,319 --> 00:19:07,786
converting
an existing supermarket?
455
00:19:07,787 --> 00:19:09,622
A lot longer.
Uh...
456
00:19:09,623 --> 00:19:12,625
A fuck of a lot longer. Okay?
That's one point
457
00:19:12,626 --> 00:19:15,027
for will. One point for Jeffrey,
not because
458
00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:16,695
you added anything
of any value, really,
459
00:19:16,696 --> 00:19:18,631
but just because, you know,
460
00:19:18,632 --> 00:19:20,366
you legitimately scare the fuck
out of me.
461
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:24,303
And one big ol' giant, organic,
cage-free goose egg
462
00:19:24,304 --> 00:19:26,805
for the cutie from Connecticut.
463
00:19:26,806 --> 00:19:29,108
If you're not gonna eat that,
I will take it.
464
00:19:29,109 --> 00:19:30,976
You idiot!
465
00:19:30,977 --> 00:19:33,646
You fucking moron!
Hold it. What's the problem?
466
00:19:33,647 --> 00:19:35,648
Colossal isn't doing
a brand conversion.
467
00:19:35,649 --> 00:19:38,817
They are wrapping us
in a goddamn
468
00:19:38,818 --> 00:19:39,718
bear hug!
469
00:19:42,155 --> 00:19:45,758
Holy fucking... a bear hug?
470
00:19:45,759 --> 00:19:48,093
Okay, kiddies,
471
00:19:48,094 --> 00:19:51,630
a bear hug
is a hostile takeover bid
472
00:19:51,631 --> 00:19:54,633
in which a big scary
fucking company...
473
00:19:59,039 --> 00:20:02,007
makes an offer
for a smaller company...
474
00:20:07,047 --> 00:20:09,748
that far exceeds
that company's value.
475
00:20:09,749 --> 00:20:12,418
Now, the little guy
has a fiduciary obligation
476
00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:14,320
to take care of
shareholder interests,
477
00:20:14,321 --> 00:20:17,389
and with so many of these
things floating in the air...
478
00:20:18,491 --> 00:20:20,225
the little guy has no choice
479
00:20:20,226 --> 00:20:21,427
but to accept the deal.
480
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:23,329
At which point
481
00:20:23,330 --> 00:20:25,164
the big ol' scary bear,
482
00:20:25,165 --> 00:20:26,498
his tummy full,
483
00:20:26,499 --> 00:20:28,400
curls up for
a nice winter's nap,
484
00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:30,369
and the little guy...
485
00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:40,646
What the fuck, Jeannie?
486
00:20:40,647 --> 00:20:42,247
Huh?!
487
00:20:42,248 --> 00:20:45,384
What... the... fuck?
488
00:20:48,521 --> 00:20:50,789
Okay, just...
Just take it easy, Robert.
489
00:20:50,790 --> 00:20:51,957
All is not lost.
490
00:20:51,958 --> 00:20:53,025
Let me make a phone call...
491
00:20:53,026 --> 00:20:55,627
No, how about instead
you eat my ass!
492
00:20:55,628 --> 00:20:57,196
It is organic, right?
493
00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,631
It's not the moment for that.
494
00:20:59,632 --> 00:21:01,133
Oh...
495
00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:02,134
Robert...
496
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:03,736
Oh, motherfucker!
497
00:21:03,737 --> 00:21:05,104
That's a...
Fuck!
498
00:21:10,910 --> 00:21:12,644
Hi, you've reached Jeannie...
499
00:21:16,249 --> 00:21:17,249
Hey...
500
00:21:19,586 --> 00:21:21,520
Huh.
501
00:21:21,521 --> 00:21:23,455
That's weird, I have two
missed calls from Marty.
502
00:21:23,456 --> 00:21:25,190
Why would he be calling me?
503
00:21:26,659 --> 00:21:28,861
Oh, my God, maybe he heard
about the rainmaker.
504
00:21:28,862 --> 00:21:31,263
Jeannie, he could be
offering us a lifeboat.
505
00:21:31,264 --> 00:21:33,932
Or... he could be calling
for social reasons.
506
00:21:33,933 --> 00:21:35,934
I mean, I have dropped a few
subtle hints over the years
507
00:21:35,935 --> 00:21:36,935
that a get-together
508
00:21:36,936 --> 00:21:39,538
outside of work
could be intriguing.
509
00:21:39,539 --> 00:21:40,906
Do you think it's possible
510
00:21:40,907 --> 00:21:42,508
he's finally responding?
I don't know, Doug.
511
00:21:42,509 --> 00:21:45,144
Why don't you ask him yourself?
512
00:21:45,145 --> 00:21:47,112
Whatever the question is,
513
00:21:47,113 --> 00:21:49,014
the answer is "yes."
514
00:21:49,015 --> 00:21:50,883
Doug... God, you look
good. It's good to see you.
515
00:21:50,884 --> 00:21:52,718
That was...
Doug, um...
516
00:21:52,719 --> 00:21:54,953
Marty and I
need a minute, okay?
517
00:21:54,954 --> 00:21:57,389
Why don't you go
buy yourself a soda?
518
00:21:57,390 --> 00:21:59,358
Uh... I'm not
an eight-year-old,
519
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,193
Jeannie.
520
00:22:03,062 --> 00:22:04,363
We'll talk later.
521
00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:05,597
Come on.
522
00:22:05,598 --> 00:22:07,266
You should hold up a sign
with my name on it.
523
00:22:07,267 --> 00:22:09,468
I almost walked right past you.
524
00:22:09,469 --> 00:22:10,869
How was Phoenix?
525
00:22:10,870 --> 00:22:13,005
Cold. I mean, I understand it's January,
526
00:22:13,006 --> 00:22:15,107
but still, you figure it's
Phoenix... cut the shit, Jeannie.
527
00:22:16,242 --> 00:22:17,643
Hostile takeover?
528
00:22:17,644 --> 00:22:18,877
That's how we're doing it now?
529
00:22:18,878 --> 00:22:20,412
You fucking kidding me?
530
00:22:20,413 --> 00:22:24,049
When I said the words
"bear hug" to Ted Lasky,
531
00:22:24,050 --> 00:22:26,652
it gave him a huge
business boner.
532
00:22:26,653 --> 00:22:28,086
He hates your guy.
533
00:22:28,087 --> 00:22:29,521
Yeah, well, he's not
my guy anymore.
534
00:22:29,522 --> 00:22:30,989
I figured as much.
535
00:22:30,990 --> 00:22:32,858
Ted Lasky, on the other hand...
536
00:22:32,859 --> 00:22:34,960
He thinks I am a fucking God,
537
00:22:34,961 --> 00:22:36,795
and not one of
the minor gods, either.
538
00:22:36,796 --> 00:22:37,796
A serious deity.
539
00:22:37,797 --> 00:22:39,031
Athena was a big one, right?
540
00:22:39,032 --> 00:22:40,432
You know what?
Fuck you, Jeannie.
541
00:22:40,433 --> 00:22:42,301
You and the rainmaker
deserve each other.
542
00:22:42,302 --> 00:22:43,635
Language.
543
00:22:43,636 --> 00:22:45,904
God, what's your new pod,
a bunch of sailors?
544
00:22:45,905 --> 00:22:48,607
My point-- if you'll
let me finish, Marty--
545
00:22:48,608 --> 00:22:52,044
is that Ted Lasky
546
00:22:52,045 --> 00:22:54,813
would follow me to hell.
547
00:22:54,814 --> 00:22:58,984
Or even Kaan & associates.
548
00:22:58,985 --> 00:23:01,253
You know, you might've
led with that.
549
00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:03,255
I like watching you squirm.
550
00:23:04,491 --> 00:23:06,558
I've kept an office
open for you, so...
551
00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:07,960
That's kind of pathetic.
552
00:23:07,961 --> 00:23:09,428
Well, you're filling it,
553
00:23:09,429 --> 00:23:11,063
so let's just say it
was forward-thinking.
554
00:23:11,064 --> 00:23:12,297
Yeah. Let's not get
ahead of ourselves.
555
00:23:12,298 --> 00:23:14,132
I have terms.
I know.
556
00:23:14,133 --> 00:23:16,101
You were grossly underpaid
at Galweather stearn...
557
00:23:16,102 --> 00:23:18,270
I'm not looking
for a giant payday.
558
00:23:18,271 --> 00:23:19,438
Okay.
559
00:23:21,307 --> 00:23:23,275
I want what you have.
560
00:23:23,276 --> 00:23:25,444
I want parity.
561
00:23:25,445 --> 00:23:27,513
You want the same equity
in the firm as me?
562
00:23:27,514 --> 00:23:28,514
Oh!
563
00:23:28,515 --> 00:23:30,482
Good, you know what parity is.
564
00:23:31,851 --> 00:23:34,720
I had someone check
into your books.
565
00:23:34,721 --> 00:23:36,822
Congratulations, Marty.
566
00:23:36,823 --> 00:23:39,358
You are pulling in
a considerable amount
567
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,260
in fees.
568
00:23:41,261 --> 00:23:42,761
Very impressive top line
for a baby startup.
569
00:23:42,762 --> 00:23:43,929
Thank you.
570
00:23:43,930 --> 00:23:46,999
But you still are
a tiny, baby startup,
571
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,568
and I know you're
shelling out a fortune
572
00:23:49,569 --> 00:23:51,970
to give that place
the shine you need
573
00:23:51,971 --> 00:23:55,007
to sell success.
574
00:23:55,008 --> 00:23:59,044
Losing free range
will be devastating.
575
00:23:59,045 --> 00:24:01,413
You'd have to make
significant layoffs,
576
00:24:01,414 --> 00:24:04,283
or dig deep in your pockets
to keep the firm afloat,
577
00:24:04,284 --> 00:24:06,385
and colossal would more
than offset that loss.
578
00:24:06,386 --> 00:24:09,354
But... that's not why
579
00:24:09,355 --> 00:24:11,390
you should give me
the keys to the candy shop.
580
00:24:13,393 --> 00:24:15,928
You left your flank open.
581
00:24:18,665 --> 00:24:20,032
I could've gutted you.
582
00:24:20,033 --> 00:24:21,700
I did gut you.
583
00:24:21,701 --> 00:24:25,404
Colossal and its
$30 million in fees aside,
584
00:24:25,405 --> 00:24:27,573
you need someone at that firm
585
00:24:27,574 --> 00:24:29,641
who will have their eyes
open when you don't.
586
00:24:30,877 --> 00:24:32,678
Wow.
587
00:24:32,679 --> 00:24:34,413
Shark Jeannie has teeth.
588
00:24:34,414 --> 00:24:36,114
Is that a yes?
589
00:24:36,115 --> 00:24:37,716
Well, if she has to ask,
590
00:24:37,717 --> 00:24:40,052
maybe shark Jeannie's
just little minnow Jeannie.
591
00:24:43,356 --> 00:24:44,389
Good.
592
00:24:44,390 --> 00:24:47,225
Good.
593
00:24:47,226 --> 00:24:48,760
Come on, let's go celebrate.
594
00:24:48,761 --> 00:24:49,928
There's a quiznos
in terminal...
595
00:24:49,929 --> 00:24:51,263
I just want to be
clear, Marty....
596
00:24:52,265 --> 00:24:54,132
that this is
a business decision.
597
00:24:54,133 --> 00:24:56,435
Purely.
598
00:24:56,436 --> 00:24:58,604
While our interests
coincide at the moment,
599
00:24:58,605 --> 00:25:01,073
I will not hesitate
to throw you under the bus
600
00:25:01,074 --> 00:25:02,474
if it serves me in the future.
601
00:25:03,977 --> 00:25:05,744
So no toasted subs?
602
00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:28,700
Oh.
603
00:25:28,701 --> 00:25:30,002
Heard about colossal foods.
Big win.
604
00:25:30,003 --> 00:25:31,336
Yeah.
605
00:25:31,337 --> 00:25:33,672
You know what amuses me?
606
00:25:33,673 --> 00:25:36,608
It's what I find goddamn
hysterical, actually.
607
00:25:38,244 --> 00:25:39,911
You think that this
is gonna save you.
608
00:25:39,912 --> 00:25:42,247
You are off colossal.
609
00:25:42,248 --> 00:25:45,384
You are off dod.
610
00:25:45,385 --> 00:25:48,720
You are off fuckin' everything.
611
00:25:48,721 --> 00:25:50,222
I get it.
612
00:25:51,257 --> 00:25:52,424
I have been...
613
00:25:54,627 --> 00:25:56,828
a bad little girl,
614
00:25:56,829 --> 00:25:59,731
and I just hope
that there's some way
615
00:25:59,732 --> 00:26:01,233
I can win back your trust.
616
00:26:01,234 --> 00:26:03,769
Someday.
617
00:26:07,073 --> 00:26:08,073
I'm sorry.
Were we done?
618
00:26:08,074 --> 00:26:10,042
Yeah.
619
00:26:11,110 --> 00:26:12,377
Yeah...
620
00:26:13,479 --> 00:26:14,479
Benita?
621
00:26:18,985 --> 00:26:21,620
I want to apologize
for what I said.
622
00:26:21,621 --> 00:26:23,889
The changes around here
just got me all out of sorts.
623
00:26:23,890 --> 00:26:24,890
You don't have to...
624
00:26:24,891 --> 00:26:26,058
I do. I do.
625
00:26:26,059 --> 00:26:27,259
This business,
626
00:26:27,260 --> 00:26:28,994
and the things we do,
627
00:26:28,995 --> 00:26:32,097
and the people
that we work with...
628
00:26:32,098 --> 00:26:33,699
It's almost impossible
629
00:26:33,700 --> 00:26:35,667
to get out of it unscathed.
630
00:26:36,769 --> 00:26:39,037
It's certainly hardened me.
631
00:26:39,038 --> 00:26:40,539
I don't want to give
you a big head,
632
00:26:40,540 --> 00:26:42,507
but I do see a little bit
633
00:26:42,508 --> 00:26:44,309
of who I used to be in you.
634
00:26:44,310 --> 00:26:45,944
Wow.
635
00:26:45,945 --> 00:26:47,646
I wish I could get that...
636
00:26:47,647 --> 00:26:48,714
Girl back.
637
00:26:48,715 --> 00:26:50,716
She's still in there, Jeannie.
638
00:26:52,118 --> 00:26:53,719
Look, the department of defense
639
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,387
is not gonna change
the way they do business
640
00:26:55,388 --> 00:26:56,655
just because we ask them to.
641
00:26:56,656 --> 00:26:58,824
And knowing the rainmaker,
he's not gonna ask.
642
00:26:58,825 --> 00:27:00,325
Shit.
643
00:27:00,326 --> 00:27:01,827
Let me see your phone.
644
00:27:01,828 --> 00:27:03,495
Why?
645
00:27:03,496 --> 00:27:04,830
Just...
646
00:27:04,831 --> 00:27:06,264
Um...
647
00:27:06,265 --> 00:27:08,567
My college roommate
is a great girl.
648
00:27:08,568 --> 00:27:09,568
You would love her.
649
00:27:09,569 --> 00:27:11,737
She works at
the New York times.
650
00:27:11,738 --> 00:27:13,605
She's a reporter, and if you
651
00:27:13,606 --> 00:27:15,741
tell her even half
652
00:27:15,742 --> 00:27:17,843
of what you told me
about the dod's
653
00:27:17,844 --> 00:27:19,745
flagrant disregard
for the U.S. constitution,
654
00:27:19,746 --> 00:27:21,346
it... it would
be front page.
655
00:27:21,347 --> 00:27:22,914
But I...
656
00:27:22,915 --> 00:27:23,982
I mean...
657
00:27:23,983 --> 00:27:25,317
This could take down
Galweather stearn.
658
00:27:25,318 --> 00:27:27,652
They made their bed, benita.
659
00:27:27,653 --> 00:27:29,988
Now, I know what
I'm asking you to do
660
00:27:29,989 --> 00:27:31,323
takes a whole mess of courage,
661
00:27:31,324 --> 00:27:33,592
but for girls
like us... I mean,
662
00:27:33,593 --> 00:27:34,726
is there any other choice?
663
00:27:34,727 --> 00:27:36,928
We are women of good character,
664
00:27:36,929 --> 00:27:39,965
and if we lose sight of that...
665
00:27:39,966 --> 00:27:41,266
God save our souls.
666
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,242
♪ I've been thrown off ♪
667
00:27:50,243 --> 00:27:52,644
♪ since you twisted me
get busted ♪
668
00:27:52,645 --> 00:27:55,147
♪ I've been listening ♪
669
00:27:55,148 --> 00:27:57,482
♪ to people that I've trusted ♪
670
00:27:57,483 --> 00:27:58,650
♪ and I don't know ♪
671
00:27:58,651 --> 00:28:01,620
♪ if I could believe you ♪
672
00:28:01,621 --> 00:28:02,788
♪ believe you ♪
673
00:28:02,789 --> 00:28:04,790
♪ I don't know ♪
674
00:28:08,094 --> 00:28:10,362
Boom.
675
00:28:15,034 --> 00:28:17,803
♪ Who says it ever is about ♪
676
00:28:17,804 --> 00:28:20,138
♪ what came before you? ♪
677
00:28:20,139 --> 00:28:28,139
♪ won't get obsessed with it
and I get to ignore you? ♪
678
00:28:28,214 --> 00:28:30,714
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