1
00:00:01,375 --> 00:00:05,289
I've got to say that this report
is quite impressive, Miss Knope.
2
00:00:05,409 --> 00:00:06,676
Thank you very much,
Mr. City Manager.
3
00:00:06,711 --> 00:00:08,411
And I have to say that the way
4
00:00:08,446 --> 00:00:09,446
that you're rockin'
those slacks
5
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:10,561
is quite impressive as well.
6
00:00:10,581 --> 00:00:11,748
Well, thank you.
7
00:00:11,783 --> 00:00:12,783
[Clears throat]
8
00:00:12,817 --> 00:00:14,217
- Can we hurry this up, please?
- What?
9
00:00:14,252 --> 00:00:15,752
There's nothing wrong
with acknowledging
10
00:00:15,786 --> 00:00:18,054
the fantastic work
of one of your employees,
11
00:00:18,089 --> 00:00:19,890
especially if she's adorable.
12
00:00:19,924 --> 00:00:21,424
I am back
at the parks department,
13
00:00:21,459 --> 00:00:22,759
and Ben is city manager,
14
00:00:22,794 --> 00:00:24,115
but we're married,
so it's kosher.
15
00:00:24,128 --> 00:00:26,096
And awesome.
We live together...
16
00:00:26,130 --> 00:00:27,330
- And work together.
- And we are so...
17
00:00:27,365 --> 00:00:28,465
Both: In sync...
18
00:00:28,499 --> 00:00:29,566
That we finish each other's...
19
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,435
Sentences!
20
00:00:31,469 --> 00:00:33,370
We rehearsed that at home.
21
00:00:33,404 --> 00:00:34,371
Naked in bed.
22
00:00:34,405 --> 00:00:36,173
- What!
- What!
23
00:00:36,207 --> 00:00:39,342
Please stamp the form.
24
00:00:39,377 --> 00:00:41,578
I just want to admire it
one more time.
25
00:00:41,612 --> 00:00:44,614
Again, fantastic work.
26
00:00:44,649 --> 00:00:47,250
In fact, such good work...
27
00:00:47,285 --> 00:00:48,585
I think I'm in love with you.
28
00:00:48,619 --> 00:00:50,253
Oh, my God, that's great news,
29
00:00:50,288 --> 00:00:51,354
'cause I'm in love
with you too.
30
00:00:51,389 --> 00:00:52,355
- What?
- What?
31
00:00:52,390 --> 00:00:53,590
Stamp the form.
32
00:00:53,624 --> 00:00:55,392
Okay, let's not let Ron feel
left out.
33
00:00:55,426 --> 00:00:56,426
We love you too, Ron.
34
00:00:56,461 --> 00:00:58,295
- Stamp the damn form.
- Group hug!
35
00:00:58,329 --> 00:00:59,529
Oh, I'm down for a group hug.
36
00:00:59,564 --> 00:01:01,264
- Little G.H.
- Bring it in.
37
00:01:01,299 --> 00:01:03,033
Come o--
38
00:01:03,067 --> 00:01:04,968
[grunts]
39
00:01:05,002 --> 00:01:06,303
Wow.
[Chuckles]
40
00:01:06,337 --> 00:01:07,604
I think our love
made him angry.
41
00:01:07,638 --> 00:01:08,705
I think he broke my wrist.
I'm not kidding.
42
00:01:08,739 --> 00:01:09,706
Really?
43
00:01:09,740 --> 00:01:12,709
[Triumphant music]
44
00:01:12,743 --> 00:01:20,750
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
45
00:01:29,927 --> 00:01:31,228
Good morning, Ann Perkins.
46
00:01:31,262 --> 00:01:32,262
How are you feeling today?
47
00:01:32,296 --> 00:01:33,630
Perfect.
48
00:01:33,664 --> 00:01:35,999
Except that I'm a whale
and that my feet already kill.
49
00:01:36,033 --> 00:01:37,601
[Laughs]
Whales don't have feet.
50
00:01:37,635 --> 00:01:39,569
I am a crazy shape.
51
00:01:39,604 --> 00:01:40,904
This morning
when I got out of bed,
52
00:01:40,938 --> 00:01:42,105
I just tipped forward
53
00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:44,040
like a poorly made bowling pin.
54
00:01:44,075 --> 00:01:46,009
Did I mention that my feet
kill me all the time?
55
00:01:46,043 --> 00:01:47,010
Oh!
56
00:01:47,044 --> 00:01:48,011
Let me rub them.
57
00:01:48,045 --> 00:01:49,780
Oh, wait. No.
58
00:01:49,814 --> 00:01:51,815
I read something
on raddadsolutions.net
59
00:01:51,849 --> 00:01:53,550
that there's a pressure point
in the foot
60
00:01:53,584 --> 00:01:54,751
that could induce labor.
61
00:01:54,785 --> 00:01:56,386
Oh, it doesn't matter.
I don't care.
62
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:57,954
I'm gonna go choke down
those horse pills
63
00:01:57,989 --> 00:01:59,156
I have to take every day.
64
00:01:59,190 --> 00:02:00,857
Oh, no, no, I'll cut them
in half for you.
65
00:02:00,892 --> 00:02:03,260
And I will pour you a glass
of flaxseed milk
66
00:02:03,294 --> 00:02:04,294
to wash it down.
67
00:02:04,328 --> 00:02:05,829
Everything is amazing.
68
00:02:05,863 --> 00:02:08,165
Today is perfect,
and I love you.
69
00:02:08,199 --> 00:02:10,267
Chris is so wonderful
70
00:02:10,301 --> 00:02:13,937
and thoughtful and positive.
71
00:02:13,971 --> 00:02:15,605
He's driving me
up the [bleep] wall.
72
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:17,007
Smoothie's ready!
73
00:02:17,041 --> 00:02:19,342
[Steel drums playing]
74
00:02:19,377 --> 00:02:21,511
Opening this farmers market
75
00:02:21,546 --> 00:02:24,147
was one of my greatest
achievements as city councilor.
76
00:02:24,182 --> 00:02:25,482
It's good for the economy,
77
00:02:25,516 --> 00:02:26,950
it's good for families,
78
00:02:26,984 --> 00:02:28,819
and it's good for promoting
a healthy lifestyle,
79
00:02:28,853 --> 00:02:31,154
which Pawnee desperately needs.
80
00:02:31,189 --> 00:02:33,390
Look at this tiny tree.
81
00:02:33,424 --> 00:02:34,958
Can you eat this?
82
00:02:34,992 --> 00:02:39,496
Aww. This one's dead.
83
00:02:39,530 --> 00:02:41,331
Hey, Connie Cabbage.
84
00:02:41,365 --> 00:02:42,799
What's good today?
85
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,501
Green cabbage is always
a safe bet.
86
00:02:44,535 --> 00:02:45,502
Red cabbage is good.
87
00:02:45,536 --> 00:02:46,536
[Chuckles] I mean,
88
00:02:46,571 --> 00:02:47,804
you can't go wrong.
89
00:02:47,839 --> 00:02:49,739
That's the fun thing
about cabbage.
90
00:02:49,774 --> 00:02:50,740
One of the fun things.
91
00:02:50,775 --> 00:02:51,741
Oh!
92
00:02:51,776 --> 00:02:54,377
[Funky rock music]
93
00:02:54,412 --> 00:02:57,013
Time to crank this market
up a notch, y'all!
94
00:02:57,048 --> 00:02:59,716
"Chardbodies:
Get a chard on"?
95
00:02:59,751 --> 00:03:03,420
Let's get "re-charded"
in here!
96
00:03:03,454 --> 00:03:05,222
- What the hell is going on?
- Oh, yeah.
97
00:03:05,256 --> 00:03:07,357
That's the new chard stand.
98
00:03:07,391 --> 00:03:09,760
I suppose that's one way
to sell vegetables.
99
00:03:09,794 --> 00:03:12,229
We got Swiss chard,
we got white chard,
100
00:03:12,263 --> 00:03:13,397
we got chard poppers!
101
00:03:13,431 --> 00:03:16,366
And for all you freaky vegans
out there...
102
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,535
We got chard shots!
103
00:03:18,569 --> 00:03:20,203
Yeah!
104
00:03:20,238 --> 00:03:22,739
Mmm, chard is so bitter.
105
00:03:22,774 --> 00:03:24,407
Ben, do something.
106
00:03:24,442 --> 00:03:25,675
What do you want me to do?
107
00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:27,778
Well, you're the city manager.
Kick them out.
108
00:03:27,812 --> 00:03:29,780
They're violating
every single one
109
00:03:29,814 --> 00:03:31,181
of the farmers market's
rules of conduct.
110
00:03:31,215 --> 00:03:32,249
By "rules of conduct,"
111
00:03:32,283 --> 00:03:34,618
do you mean that wooden sign
you made
112
00:03:34,652 --> 00:03:36,052
that says,
"Peas be kind to others"?
113
00:03:36,053 --> 00:03:38,689
Yes, and "In case of fire,
romaine calm,"
114
00:03:38,723 --> 00:03:42,292
and "You won't bay leaf
how nice olive our vendors are."
115
00:03:42,326 --> 00:03:43,426
I don't like vegetables,
116
00:03:43,461 --> 00:03:44,895
but I'm very good
at vegetable puns.
117
00:03:44,929 --> 00:03:46,630
Okay, I admit this is
a little iffy, but...
118
00:03:46,664 --> 00:03:48,532
- A little iffy?
- I can't do anything
119
00:03:48,566 --> 00:03:50,467
until I check the rules
for city vendors.
120
00:03:50,501 --> 00:03:51,868
Cabbage!
121
00:03:51,903 --> 00:03:54,337
Come and...get it.
122
00:03:54,372 --> 00:03:55,972
Connie, no.
123
00:03:56,007 --> 00:03:57,908
Put those away.
124
00:03:57,942 --> 00:04:00,143
♪ April's sitting on my lap ♪
125
00:04:00,178 --> 00:04:02,913
♪ I shouldn't tell her
that I gotta take a crap ♪
126
00:04:02,947 --> 00:04:04,514
♪ oh, no
127
00:04:04,549 --> 00:04:06,383
- Don't.
- ♪ I should just go
128
00:04:06,417 --> 00:04:08,652
Oh, my God.
You play guitar?
129
00:04:08,686 --> 00:04:10,120
No, that's a super small piano.
130
00:04:10,154 --> 00:04:11,555
Okay, I'm gonna need
the sarcasm
131
00:04:11,589 --> 00:04:13,390
to take a long walk right now.
132
00:04:13,424 --> 00:04:14,791
My terrible nephew Sebastian
133
00:04:14,826 --> 00:04:16,526
is having his sixth birthday
party this weekend,
134
00:04:16,561 --> 00:04:17,928
and the clown they hired
has shingles.
135
00:04:17,962 --> 00:04:19,129
- [Gasps]
- You think your band could play
136
00:04:19,163 --> 00:04:20,130
for an hour?
137
00:04:20,164 --> 00:04:21,898
- How much?
- 75.
138
00:04:21,933 --> 00:04:23,233
$75,000?
139
00:04:23,267 --> 00:04:24,468
How about 300?
140
00:04:24,502 --> 00:04:26,636
$300,000?
141
00:04:26,671 --> 00:04:28,605
- 150.
- They'll do it.
142
00:04:28,639 --> 00:04:30,159
Ah, thank you.
That is such a relief.
143
00:04:30,174 --> 00:04:31,608
I love my nephew very much,
144
00:04:31,642 --> 00:04:32,743
but he's
a horrible little tyrant,
145
00:04:32,777 --> 00:04:34,745
so don't ruin this day for him!
146
00:04:34,779 --> 00:04:37,013
150 bucks?
147
00:04:37,048 --> 00:04:38,748
Split that four ways, boom.
148
00:04:38,783 --> 00:04:41,184
$600.
149
00:04:41,219 --> 00:04:43,086
I'll say it again:
The men's room needs
150
00:04:43,121 --> 00:04:45,288
a separate dispenser
for face wash.
151
00:04:45,323 --> 00:04:47,090
I can't wash my face
with hand soap.
152
00:04:47,125 --> 00:04:48,825
Look at these pores.
They're gaping.
153
00:04:48,860 --> 00:04:50,627
- Hey, guys.
- Time-out.
154
00:04:50,661 --> 00:04:52,462
Let's take a brief recess.
155
00:04:52,497 --> 00:04:53,797
Can we help you, Ann?
156
00:04:53,831 --> 00:04:56,099
I was looking for Leslie,
but now I'm curious
157
00:04:56,134 --> 00:04:57,894
why you guys are sitting
around doing nothing
158
00:04:57,902 --> 00:04:59,369
and getting drunk at work.
159
00:04:59,404 --> 00:05:01,071
It's the whine & cheese club,
gorgeous.
160
00:05:01,105 --> 00:05:02,572
It's a monthly gathering
161
00:05:02,607 --> 00:05:03,607
where we all get together
and vent
162
00:05:03,641 --> 00:05:04,808
about what annoys us at work.
163
00:05:04,842 --> 00:05:07,411
Over fine wines and cheeses,
of course.
164
00:05:07,445 --> 00:05:08,512
Larry, salami!
165
00:05:08,546 --> 00:05:11,014
The human resources department
166
00:05:11,049 --> 00:05:13,683
requires that I be available
once a month
167
00:05:13,718 --> 00:05:17,421
to discuss workplace disputes
with my employees.
168
00:05:17,455 --> 00:05:18,922
The rules do not specify
169
00:05:18,956 --> 00:05:20,290
whether or not
I'm allowed to listen
170
00:05:20,324 --> 00:05:23,627
to Willie Nelson
on my headphones.
171
00:05:23,661 --> 00:05:26,163
And Kyle parked his car
in my spot again.
172
00:05:26,197 --> 00:05:27,798
Now, that is the fourth time
this month.
173
00:05:27,832 --> 00:05:29,399
♪ Hello, walls
174
00:05:29,434 --> 00:05:31,835
- ♪ Hello
- ♪ Hello
175
00:05:31,869 --> 00:05:36,039
♪ how'd things go
for you today? ♪
176
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,141
I just want to choke him
until he passes out.
177
00:05:38,176 --> 00:05:39,336
- Time.
- This looks like fun.
178
00:05:39,343 --> 00:05:40,777
I want to try.
179
00:05:40,812 --> 00:05:41,845
Mm, there's rules to this,
sweet pea.
180
00:05:41,879 --> 00:05:42,846
It's Donna's turn next.
181
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,347
I'll cede my time to Ann.
182
00:05:44,382 --> 00:05:45,949
I have a feeling
this is gonna be good.
183
00:05:45,983 --> 00:05:47,150
Okay, well, I'm not gonna talk
for long,
184
00:05:47,185 --> 00:05:48,785
'cause I have to pee again,
185
00:05:48,820 --> 00:05:50,153
'cause I have to pee
every six minutes,
186
00:05:50,188 --> 00:05:52,289
'cause I have a beach ball
in my stomach
187
00:05:52,323 --> 00:05:53,356
that's punching on my bladder.
188
00:05:53,391 --> 00:05:55,125
[Chuckles] That sucks.
189
00:05:55,159 --> 00:05:57,527
I know.
And I'm never not hungry.
190
00:05:57,562 --> 00:05:59,629
- Oh, well, have some cheese.
- I can't have cheese, Larry!
191
00:05:59,664 --> 00:06:00,864
And I can't have wine either.
192
00:06:00,898 --> 00:06:02,399
I can't have anything good.
193
00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:05,302
You know, what I can have
is liquefied flaxseed.
194
00:06:05,336 --> 00:06:07,070
But I don't want that.
You know what I want?
195
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:08,872
Pork rinds.
I want jelly beans.
196
00:06:08,906 --> 00:06:11,708
And I want a huge trash bag
filled with mashed potatoes.
197
00:06:11,743 --> 00:06:13,076
I want to be Pac-Man,
198
00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:15,112
and instead of dots,
I want 'em to be cinnamon buns.
199
00:06:15,146 --> 00:06:17,447
I want to be a giant head
and a mouth,
200
00:06:17,482 --> 00:06:20,283
and I just want to eat rows
and rows of junk food pellets,
201
00:06:20,318 --> 00:06:23,020
and where's my trash bag
of potatoes?
202
00:06:23,054 --> 00:06:26,757
[Groans]
203
00:06:26,791 --> 00:06:28,225
Time.
204
00:06:28,259 --> 00:06:29,259
Yikes.
205
00:06:29,293 --> 00:06:31,528
Okay, Harrison Ford
movie night.
206
00:06:31,562 --> 00:06:33,363
Before we do that,
I was thinking more
207
00:06:33,397 --> 00:06:34,731
about that chard guy.
208
00:06:34,766 --> 00:06:36,400
I mean, it would be very easy
for you to revoke
209
00:06:36,434 --> 00:06:37,534
their license.
210
00:06:37,568 --> 00:06:40,404
Okay, Leslie,
this is city business,
211
00:06:40,438 --> 00:06:41,638
and I'm not an emperor.
212
00:06:41,672 --> 00:06:43,540
I can't just kick them out
for no reason.
213
00:06:43,574 --> 00:06:45,442
The reason is
it's vegetable porn.
214
00:06:45,476 --> 00:06:46,743
Porn on the cob.
215
00:06:46,778 --> 00:06:48,178
I'm sorry.
I'm just very good at that.
216
00:06:48,212 --> 00:06:49,646
Look, I am not a prude,
217
00:06:49,681 --> 00:06:50,914
but the point is,
218
00:06:50,948 --> 00:06:52,282
people shouldn't be half naked,
219
00:06:52,316 --> 00:06:54,051
you know, in public,
in the middle of the day,
220
00:06:54,085 --> 00:06:55,185
in front of children.
221
00:06:55,219 --> 00:06:57,120
There's your reason.
Kick them out.
222
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:59,923
Look, now that
we're working together again,
223
00:06:59,957 --> 00:07:02,826
maybe it would be good
to keep our home life
224
00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:04,795
and our work life separate.
225
00:07:04,829 --> 00:07:06,863
Like we only talk
about work stuff
226
00:07:06,898 --> 00:07:08,131
when we're at city hall,
227
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,467
like a firewall system.
228
00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:12,502
Yeah. Yeah, okay.
That's smart.
229
00:07:12,537 --> 00:07:14,071
Home is home, and work is work.
230
00:07:14,105 --> 00:07:15,906
We can always talk about this
tomorrow at the office.
231
00:07:15,940 --> 00:07:17,874
Good.
Glad you agree.
232
00:07:17,909 --> 00:07:18,875
- [Grunts]
- All right.
233
00:07:18,910 --> 00:07:21,211
Crystal Skull it is.
234
00:07:21,245 --> 00:07:23,480
No, it's ridiculous
to think that you could survive
235
00:07:23,514 --> 00:07:26,116
a nuclear blast
by jumping into a refrigerator.
236
00:07:26,150 --> 00:07:27,484
- Mm-hmm, yeah, uh-huh.
- But still, it's like--
237
00:07:27,518 --> 00:07:29,419
Okay, so I found
a legal precedent
238
00:07:29,454 --> 00:07:31,388
to shut down
those vegetable smut peddlers.
239
00:07:31,422 --> 00:07:32,823
What is happening?
240
00:07:32,857 --> 00:07:33,890
Firewall, man.
241
00:07:33,925 --> 00:07:35,325
We pulled into the parking lot,
242
00:07:35,359 --> 00:07:37,394
and this is technically
city hall property,
243
00:07:37,428 --> 00:07:39,062
so now we're at work--
let's do this.
244
00:07:39,097 --> 00:07:41,398
The farmers market is
a community meeting place,
245
00:07:41,432 --> 00:07:42,933
and that pan-sexual
stripper show
246
00:07:42,967 --> 00:07:44,568
basically negates
the whole purpose.
247
00:07:44,602 --> 00:07:46,303
So if you're looking
for a reason to kick them out,
248
00:07:46,337 --> 00:07:47,971
here's 158.
249
00:07:48,005 --> 00:07:49,873
The new farmers market
rule book.
250
00:07:49,907 --> 00:07:51,675
Okay, when did you make this?
251
00:07:51,709 --> 00:07:52,909
I stayed up all night.
252
00:07:52,944 --> 00:07:54,811
I also made these--
253
00:07:54,846 --> 00:07:56,813
Leslie's toffee surprise.
254
00:07:56,848 --> 00:07:59,483
The surprise is there's toffee
in the inside.
255
00:07:59,517 --> 00:08:01,184
You can eat those
once you revoke
256
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:03,086
the chard vendor's license.
257
00:08:03,121 --> 00:08:04,988
Good day, colleague.
258
00:08:05,022 --> 00:08:06,823
Okay.
[Car door closes]
259
00:08:09,730 --> 00:08:11,429
Ann Perkins!
How are you feeling?
260
00:08:11,464 --> 00:08:12,464
You don't want to know.
261
00:08:12,465 --> 00:08:14,232
It's all I want to know.
262
00:08:14,267 --> 00:08:16,134
All right, man,
you asked for it.
263
00:08:16,169 --> 00:08:17,435
I have shooting pains
that go all the way up
264
00:08:17,470 --> 00:08:18,803
from my butt to my neck.
265
00:08:18,838 --> 00:08:20,305
My stomach has
so many stretch marks on it
266
00:08:20,339 --> 00:08:21,807
that it looks like
an old-fashioned globe.
267
00:08:21,841 --> 00:08:23,308
My boobs are getting
really sore.
268
00:08:23,342 --> 00:08:24,709
Also, I just read
Brooke Shields' book
269
00:08:24,744 --> 00:08:25,944
on post-partum depression.
270
00:08:25,978 --> 00:08:29,581
Now I have pre-post-partum
depression anxiety.
271
00:08:29,615 --> 00:08:30,982
- Well, never fear.
- [Sighs]
272
00:08:31,017 --> 00:08:32,617
I will get you Tylenol
for your pain
273
00:08:32,652 --> 00:08:34,085
and shea butter for your belly.
274
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,320
And your voluptuous figure
275
00:08:35,354 --> 00:08:36,755
only means your body is working
276
00:08:36,789 --> 00:08:38,957
exactly as nature intended it.
277
00:08:38,991 --> 00:08:41,026
There, it's all good.
Is that better?
278
00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:42,160
Yeah. Thanks.
279
00:08:42,195 --> 00:08:43,516
I've been reading up
on nipples.
280
00:08:43,529 --> 00:08:45,263
The reason that you're feeling
nipple sensitivity
281
00:08:45,298 --> 00:08:46,865
is because your milk ducts
in your nipples
282
00:08:46,899 --> 00:08:47,999
are opening up,
283
00:08:48,034 --> 00:08:50,468
which is why I bought you
this nipple kit.
284
00:08:50,503 --> 00:08:51,803
It's from Kernsten's--
the nipple people.
285
00:08:51,838 --> 00:08:53,972
It has nipple cream,
nipple pads,
286
00:08:54,006 --> 00:08:55,907
and also a special
nipple pimple ointment
287
00:08:55,942 --> 00:08:57,943
in case you develop
any pimples on your nipples.
288
00:08:57,977 --> 00:09:01,179
Oh, my God, you have to stop
using the word "nipple."
289
00:09:01,214 --> 00:09:02,447
Okay. Anyway.
290
00:09:02,482 --> 00:09:04,182
Hopefully that will help you
with any sensitivity
291
00:09:04,217 --> 00:09:07,786
that may arise around your...
292
00:09:07,820 --> 00:09:09,554
boob hats.
293
00:09:09,589 --> 00:09:10,956
Larry, get in there!
Come on!
294
00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:12,390
What do--I don't even know
what we're doing.
295
00:09:12,425 --> 00:09:14,125
What is the meaning
of this, nurse?
296
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:15,660
Emergency whine & cheese club.
297
00:09:15,695 --> 00:09:16,862
Put your headphones on, Ron.
298
00:09:16,896 --> 00:09:17,896
I have a lot of complaints.
299
00:09:17,930 --> 00:09:19,898
Sit down.
I need to vent.
300
00:09:19,932 --> 00:09:22,234
And do not
under any circumstances
301
00:09:22,268 --> 00:09:23,235
respond to anything I say.
302
00:09:23,269 --> 00:09:24,369
All right.
303
00:09:24,403 --> 00:09:26,371
Let's talk about vomit, kids.
304
00:09:26,405 --> 00:09:28,206
I do it all day long.
305
00:09:28,241 --> 00:09:30,041
♪ Super fun
306
00:09:30,076 --> 00:09:31,776
♪ it feels super good
307
00:09:31,811 --> 00:09:35,080
♪ I wanna do it all the time
308
00:09:35,114 --> 00:09:38,750
♪ sex is cool
309
00:09:38,784 --> 00:09:41,019
Okay, Sex Is Cool.
Got that.
310
00:09:41,053 --> 00:09:43,822
I say we finish
on Drunk Off Our Asses.
311
00:09:43,856 --> 00:09:46,324
And I think we should do
Sex in Space.
312
00:09:46,359 --> 00:09:48,226
It's 20 minutes long,
but it's really good.
313
00:09:48,261 --> 00:09:50,462
Babe, I don't think you should
play any of those songs
314
00:09:50,496 --> 00:09:51,663
for a group of six-year-olds.
315
00:09:51,697 --> 00:09:53,565
Whoa, wait--
six-year-olds?
316
00:09:53,599 --> 00:09:55,367
Did you book us a gig
at a kids' party?
317
00:09:55,401 --> 00:09:57,102
You said we were playing
at a festival.
318
00:09:57,136 --> 00:09:58,503
You said Dave Grohl
might be there.
319
00:09:58,538 --> 00:10:01,006
Dave Grohl might be there.
I don't know.
320
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,307
He might be anywhere.
321
00:10:02,341 --> 00:10:04,075
The guy's awesome,
and he's unpredictable.
322
00:10:04,110 --> 00:10:06,311
No, no, I'm not playing
for a bunch of screaming kids.
323
00:10:06,312 --> 00:10:08,446
Mouse Rat is a rock band.
We're not the Wiggles.
324
00:10:08,481 --> 00:10:09,648
Come on!
325
00:10:09,682 --> 00:10:11,616
I'm sick of all the drama
with this band.
326
00:10:11,651 --> 00:10:12,751
I-I quit.
327
00:10:12,785 --> 00:10:14,119
I'm going
back to rabbinical school.
328
00:10:14,153 --> 00:10:15,153
[Cymbals crash]
329
00:10:15,188 --> 00:10:16,254
Umbilical school?
330
00:10:16,289 --> 00:10:17,355
Rivers, come back.
331
00:10:17,390 --> 00:10:19,057
Rivers, don't do this.
Hey!
332
00:10:19,091 --> 00:10:21,426
Shaq might be there!
333
00:10:21,461 --> 00:10:22,727
Hey, did you get a chance
334
00:10:22,762 --> 00:10:24,563
to sign off
on that booklet I gave you?
335
00:10:24,597 --> 00:10:26,765
Well, I read it,
but it seems like
336
00:10:26,799 --> 00:10:28,300
your farmers market rules
337
00:10:28,334 --> 00:10:30,702
may be specifically targeting
chardbodies.
338
00:10:30,736 --> 00:10:32,871
What? How?
339
00:10:32,905 --> 00:10:34,606
"No visible cleavage.
340
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,041
"No strobe lights.
341
00:10:36,075 --> 00:10:37,742
No chard-related innuendo."
342
00:10:37,777 --> 00:10:39,377
Those apply to all vendors.
343
00:10:39,412 --> 00:10:40,478
Either way, it's too late.
344
00:10:40,513 --> 00:10:42,314
The train has left the station.
345
00:10:42,348 --> 00:10:44,115
Okay, what train,
from which station?
346
00:10:44,150 --> 00:10:45,483
- You're revoking my license?
- Oh, boy.
347
00:10:45,518 --> 00:10:47,485
Yes, Nolan, under the auspices
348
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:48,787
of the office of city manager,
349
00:10:48,821 --> 00:10:50,121
et cetera, et cetera,
it's not important,
350
00:10:50,156 --> 00:10:52,124
you are in violation
of many rules,
351
00:10:52,158 --> 00:10:53,792
and therefore you cannot sell
your goods anymore
352
00:10:53,826 --> 00:10:54,926
at the Pawnee farmers market.
353
00:10:54,961 --> 00:10:57,596
Ben, back me up on this
without hesitation.
354
00:10:57,630 --> 00:10:59,397
Nolan, can I have a second
to speak with my w--
355
00:10:59,432 --> 00:11:01,500
with Ms. Knope
for a second?
356
00:11:01,534 --> 00:11:02,901
Look, chard is disgusting.
357
00:11:02,935 --> 00:11:04,669
You try selling it
without sexy dancers.
358
00:11:04,704 --> 00:11:05,770
It's impossible.
359
00:11:05,805 --> 00:11:07,205
It's like,
"Hey, you like lettuce?
360
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:08,507
"Try this. It's worse.
361
00:11:08,541 --> 00:11:10,408
It tastes like kale
took a dump on spinach."
362
00:11:10,418 --> 00:11:12,019
I like to think of it
as celery with B.O.
363
00:11:12,044 --> 00:11:13,311
But if it's so gross,
364
00:11:13,346 --> 00:11:14,579
you should just sell
something else.
365
00:11:14,614 --> 00:11:15,814
I inherited this farm
from my dad.
366
00:11:15,848 --> 00:11:16,915
It's all I have.
367
00:11:16,949 --> 00:11:17,983
Plus, the other vendors
want me there.
368
00:11:18,017 --> 00:11:19,117
I'm good for business.
369
00:11:19,152 --> 00:11:20,752
We're not revoking
your license.
370
00:11:20,786 --> 00:11:21,887
For now.
371
00:11:21,921 --> 00:11:24,055
I am sorry you had to come in.
372
00:11:24,090 --> 00:11:25,257
Judas!
373
00:11:25,291 --> 00:11:27,359
I don't appreciate
being ambushed, Leslie.
374
00:11:27,393 --> 00:11:28,927
- Let's just go home.
- No.
375
00:11:28,961 --> 00:11:30,028
I know what
you're trying to do.
376
00:11:30,062 --> 00:11:31,329
If we go home,
the firewall is up,
377
00:11:31,364 --> 00:11:32,531
and then you don't have to deal
with me anymore.
378
00:11:32,565 --> 00:11:34,432
Instead, fellow employee,
379
00:11:34,467 --> 00:11:36,568
I will meet you
in the basement conference room
380
00:11:36,602 --> 00:11:37,869
at 6:00 P.M.,
381
00:11:37,904 --> 00:11:39,738
and we will solve
this chard issue
382
00:11:39,772 --> 00:11:40,839
once and for all.
383
00:11:40,873 --> 00:11:42,507
Don't forget your approval pen.
384
00:11:42,542 --> 00:11:43,775
What?
There's no such thing.
385
00:11:43,810 --> 00:11:45,110
Yes, there is.
386
00:11:45,144 --> 00:11:47,946
I made it for you last night.
387
00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:50,215
Ugh, and Lamaze class,
388
00:11:50,249 --> 00:11:51,850
wait till I tell you
about that Ponzi scheme.
389
00:11:51,884 --> 00:11:53,285
Ugh.
390
00:11:53,319 --> 00:11:54,953
Oh, hey, Donna, what the hell?
391
00:11:54,987 --> 00:11:57,722
You know I can't be
around smoke or fatty tuna.
392
00:11:57,757 --> 00:11:58,757
Ron--
393
00:11:58,791 --> 00:11:59,991
At first, this was funny,
394
00:12:00,026 --> 00:12:00,992
but it's gotten out of hand.
395
00:12:01,027 --> 00:12:02,294
This was our chance
396
00:12:02,328 --> 00:12:04,963
to vent about work,
and you've taken it over.
397
00:12:04,997 --> 00:12:06,064
Yeah!
398
00:12:06,098 --> 00:12:07,666
It's sushi and cigar club now.
399
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:09,234
Wow. Okay.
400
00:12:09,268 --> 00:12:11,837
I see how it is.
401
00:12:11,871 --> 00:12:13,171
I feel bad.
402
00:12:13,206 --> 00:12:14,739
I don't.
This is a Cuban.
403
00:12:14,774 --> 00:12:16,408
This is yellowtail.
I feel amazing.
404
00:12:16,442 --> 00:12:18,577
Whoa!
Monster in the window!
405
00:12:18,611 --> 00:12:20,011
You know what
my biggest complaint is?
406
00:12:20,046 --> 00:12:22,180
I have a million things
I need to complain about,
407
00:12:22,215 --> 00:12:23,482
and I can't take them home
because Chris is
408
00:12:23,516 --> 00:12:25,016
the most considerate person
in the world,
409
00:12:25,051 --> 00:12:26,172
and he just wants to help me,
410
00:12:26,185 --> 00:12:27,425
and then I feel bad about that,
411
00:12:27,453 --> 00:12:29,221
and then I get annoyed
that he wants to help me,
412
00:12:29,255 --> 00:12:30,422
and I feel even worse
about that!
413
00:12:30,456 --> 00:12:31,756
I thought you guys
would be cool
414
00:12:31,791 --> 00:12:33,091
with me complaining
'cause it's all you do,
415
00:12:33,126 --> 00:12:35,994
is sit here and complain
without judgment or guilt.
416
00:12:36,028 --> 00:12:37,548
But you know what?
I guess I was wrong.
417
00:12:37,563 --> 00:12:38,930
And you know what?
I would yell some more,
418
00:12:38,965 --> 00:12:42,100
but I think I just peed
my pants a little bit.
419
00:12:42,135 --> 00:12:43,435
What's happening now?
420
00:12:43,469 --> 00:12:44,870
Is the nurse upset?
421
00:12:44,904 --> 00:12:46,872
I don't care.
422
00:12:46,906 --> 00:12:48,974
Okay, 6:00.
Let's do this.
423
00:12:49,008 --> 00:12:50,041
Larry?
424
00:12:50,076 --> 00:12:51,443
Mm. Hey, Leslie.
425
00:12:51,477 --> 00:12:52,477
Ben couldn't make it,
426
00:12:52,512 --> 00:12:54,212
so he asked me
to read you this.
427
00:12:54,247 --> 00:12:55,881
"Dear honey--"
Oh, how sweet.
428
00:12:55,915 --> 00:12:57,682
- Read.
- Oh.
429
00:12:57,717 --> 00:12:59,597
"Sorry, but I think we just need
to take a break
430
00:12:59,619 --> 00:13:00,719
"from this work issue.
431
00:13:00,753 --> 00:13:01,987
"Please don't grind your teeth
too hard
432
00:13:02,021 --> 00:13:03,455
"when you hear this.
I will see you in the car.
433
00:13:03,489 --> 00:13:04,456
I love you."
434
00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:05,557
Oh, that is so sweet
435
00:13:05,591 --> 00:13:07,025
that you still write
love letters to--
436
00:13:07,059 --> 00:13:10,529
[roars]
437
00:13:10,563 --> 00:13:11,796
What the hell
are you doing out here?
438
00:13:11,831 --> 00:13:14,299
Sorry, babe.
I am off city hall property.
439
00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:15,767
You have to stop.
440
00:13:15,802 --> 00:13:16,768
Firewall.
441
00:13:16,803 --> 00:13:17,769
Wrong.
442
00:13:17,804 --> 00:13:18,837
All roads and bridges
443
00:13:18,871 --> 00:13:20,138
fall under the purview
444
00:13:20,173 --> 00:13:21,439
of the Pawnee department
of transportation,
445
00:13:21,474 --> 00:13:23,742
which is located on
the fourth floor of city hall.
446
00:13:23,776 --> 00:13:25,377
Firewall down.
447
00:13:25,411 --> 00:13:27,579
Stay frosty, Wyatt.
448
00:13:27,613 --> 00:13:28,880
We're just getting started.
449
00:13:29,293 --> 00:13:31,048
Okay, well, that's interesting.
450
00:13:31,168 --> 00:13:31,998
You know why?
451
00:13:32,118 --> 00:13:34,653
- Why?
- Because--
452
00:13:34,687 --> 00:13:36,154
Mother--
453
00:13:39,228 --> 00:13:40,194
Ha-ha!
454
00:13:40,228 --> 00:13:41,996
Bank! Private property.
455
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,531
Firewall restored!
456
00:13:43,565 --> 00:13:44,598
Ha-ha-ha!
457
00:13:44,633 --> 00:13:45,799
The concrete
that you're standing on
458
00:13:45,834 --> 00:13:48,969
was poured by a municipal
construction crew.
459
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:51,872
[Grunts]
460
00:13:51,907 --> 00:13:53,207
Private fountain,
461
00:13:53,241 --> 00:13:54,208
private property.
462
00:13:54,242 --> 00:13:55,209
I'm safe.
463
00:13:55,243 --> 00:13:56,911
Guess where the water
comes from.
464
00:13:56,945 --> 00:14:00,614
The Pawnee reservoir.
465
00:14:00,649 --> 00:14:03,217
You can't escape
city hall, fool!
466
00:14:03,251 --> 00:14:06,720
Let's dance.
467
00:14:06,755 --> 00:14:07,955
[Door slams]
468
00:14:07,989 --> 00:14:09,056
Hey, friends.
469
00:14:09,090 --> 00:14:10,357
I'm just about to go
on my night jog.
470
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:11,458
Would you like to join me?
471
00:14:11,493 --> 00:14:12,860
Mm, hard pass.
472
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,062
We're here because you need
to tend to your woman.
473
00:14:15,096 --> 00:14:16,497
She's complaining
about everything,
474
00:14:16,531 --> 00:14:17,998
ruining whine & cheese club.
475
00:14:18,033 --> 00:14:19,700
I literally have
1,000 questions.
476
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,468
Why is Ron wearing headphones?
477
00:14:21,503 --> 00:14:22,584
What's whine & cheese club?
478
00:14:22,604 --> 00:14:23,871
And what is Ann
complaining about?
479
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:25,506
You, mostly--
how you never let her vent
480
00:14:25,540 --> 00:14:26,840
because you're always too busy
481
00:14:26,875 --> 00:14:28,236
trying to solve
everything for her.
482
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:29,810
She's upset that I'm trying
to help her?
483
00:14:29,845 --> 00:14:32,580
You've fallen into a classic
trap, Christopher--
484
00:14:32,614 --> 00:14:34,682
trying to fix
a woman's problems
485
00:14:34,716 --> 00:14:36,684
instead of just listening
to what they are!
486
00:14:36,718 --> 00:14:37,918
Why are you yelling?
487
00:14:37,953 --> 00:14:40,855
Tom put all my records
into this rectangle!
488
00:14:40,889 --> 00:14:42,690
Hey, man, if Ann needs Tylenol,
489
00:14:42,724 --> 00:14:43,824
she can get it herself.
490
00:14:43,858 --> 00:14:45,226
What she needs from you
491
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,827
is to just look her
in the eyes,
492
00:14:46,862 --> 00:14:49,463
nod your head, and say
those two magic words.
493
00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,665
"That sucks."
494
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:53,100
"That sucks"?
495
00:14:53,134 --> 00:14:54,368
I spent my entire life
496
00:14:54,402 --> 00:14:55,836
reading instructional books
about relationships
497
00:14:55,871 --> 00:14:57,705
in order to trick women
into liking me.
498
00:14:57,739 --> 00:14:59,206
When Ann tells you
what's bothering her,
499
00:14:59,241 --> 00:15:00,441
don't try to fix it.
500
00:15:00,475 --> 00:15:02,009
Just say,
501
00:15:02,043 --> 00:15:04,278
"Damn, that sucks."
502
00:15:04,312 --> 00:15:05,746
[Chortles]
The songs just play
503
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,348
one right after the other!
504
00:15:07,382 --> 00:15:10,251
This is an excellent rectangle!
505
00:15:14,256 --> 00:15:15,356
Okay, this is insane.
506
00:15:15,390 --> 00:15:16,857
It is 40 degrees,
507
00:15:16,892 --> 00:15:18,459
and we are standing
in freezing water.
508
00:15:18,493 --> 00:15:19,760
No, this is our motivation.
509
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,295
We are not leaving
this fountain
510
00:15:21,329 --> 00:15:23,230
until we've figured this out
once and for all.
511
00:15:23,265 --> 00:15:24,985
Fine. Why are you
not supporting me on this?
512
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,300
I thought you agreed with me.
513
00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:28,402
I do, as a person,
514
00:15:28,436 --> 00:15:29,904
but as city manager,
515
00:15:29,938 --> 00:15:32,206
I'm not 100% sure
you have a case.
516
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,141
You're not listening
to my side.
517
00:15:34,176 --> 00:15:35,242
I mean, sometimes when we
disagree,
518
00:15:35,277 --> 00:15:36,677
you're so passionate,
519
00:15:36,711 --> 00:15:38,546
I feel like I'm arguing
with the sun.
520
00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:39,947
What? That is totally crazy!
521
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:43,817
I am super chill all the time!
522
00:15:43,852 --> 00:15:46,487
Look, let's just admit it.
We're in a weird position.
523
00:15:46,521 --> 00:15:48,289
We're married.
524
00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:49,890
Our professional status has
flipped, like, five times.
525
00:15:49,925 --> 00:15:51,892
I mean, now I'm your boss.
526
00:15:51,927 --> 00:15:54,562
This is "un-charded" territory
for us.
527
00:15:54,596 --> 00:15:56,764
Oh, that's nice.
528
00:15:56,798 --> 00:15:58,999
Thanks.
I learned from the best.
529
00:15:59,034 --> 00:16:00,067
The point is,
530
00:16:00,101 --> 00:16:01,769
forget firewalls.
531
00:16:01,803 --> 00:16:05,172
Let's just be respectful
and communicate,
532
00:16:05,207 --> 00:16:06,941
and we'll find
the right balance.
533
00:16:06,975 --> 00:16:08,475
You're right.
534
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:10,511
I should have considered
your side.
535
00:16:10,545 --> 00:16:11,946
I love you,
536
00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:14,982
and you're also
a very smart person.
537
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:18,752
Let's get out of this fountain.
538
00:16:18,787 --> 00:16:20,187
I can't because my legs
are numb.
539
00:16:20,222 --> 00:16:21,755
Yeah, I can't move.
Are we gonna die here?
540
00:16:21,790 --> 00:16:22,923
Yeah.
541
00:16:22,958 --> 00:16:24,959
[Kids chattering]
No, don't do that.
542
00:16:24,993 --> 00:16:26,026
I don't like this game.
543
00:16:26,061 --> 00:16:27,127
I don't know
what the rules are!
544
00:16:27,162 --> 00:16:28,596
Okay, babe, here's what I did.
545
00:16:28,630 --> 00:16:30,364
Tell me if this is appropriate
for a kids' song.
546
00:16:30,398 --> 00:16:33,300
I changed the lyrics
in Sex Hair to...
547
00:16:33,335 --> 00:16:35,502
♪ You got sex bears
548
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,605
♪ you got 'em from me, kids
549
00:16:37,639 --> 00:16:38,973
♪ sex bears
550
00:16:39,007 --> 00:16:39,974
♪ big ol' sex bears
551
00:16:40,008 --> 00:16:41,642
Andy, the word "hair"
552
00:16:41,676 --> 00:16:44,111
was not the problem
with Sex Hair.
553
00:16:44,146 --> 00:16:46,780
Oh, it's sex!
Oh, crap.
554
00:16:46,815 --> 00:16:48,015
Now what the hell
am I supposed to sing?
555
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,583
It's time, Andrew.
556
00:16:49,618 --> 00:16:50,851
These kids are tearing
my house apart,
557
00:16:50,886 --> 00:16:52,319
and I need you to calm them
with the power of song.
558
00:16:52,354 --> 00:16:53,387
Oh, gosh,
here's the thing--
559
00:16:53,421 --> 00:16:54,555
I can't do it.
560
00:16:54,589 --> 00:16:55,689
I got laryngitis.
561
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:58,192
You will not bail on me,
Andrew Dwyer.
562
00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,527
You will perform.
563
00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:00,995
My nephew is something
of an outcast in his school,
564
00:17:01,029 --> 00:17:02,797
and I got Erica Swarvane
to come,
565
00:17:02,831 --> 00:17:03,864
which is a huge get.
566
00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:05,132
She rules the first grade.
567
00:17:05,166 --> 00:17:06,567
And this party will determine
his social status
568
00:17:06,601 --> 00:17:08,402
for the next hundred years!
569
00:17:08,436 --> 00:17:10,638
So you better get out there,
or I am going to lose it!
570
00:17:10,672 --> 00:17:11,972
Have you not lost it?
571
00:17:12,007 --> 00:17:13,440
Oh, you don't even know!
572
00:17:13,475 --> 00:17:15,309
Babe, I'm freaking out.
573
00:17:15,343 --> 00:17:16,443
Listen to me.
574
00:17:16,478 --> 00:17:18,179
You make up songs all the time
575
00:17:18,213 --> 00:17:19,213
off the top of your head.
576
00:17:19,214 --> 00:17:20,548
You do.
577
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:22,216
You can do this,
and afterwards,
578
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,651
we can have cake.
579
00:17:23,685 --> 00:17:25,686
I already had cake.
580
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,188
Andy!
581
00:17:27,222 --> 00:17:28,289
[Kids shouting]
582
00:17:28,323 --> 00:17:30,324
Okay, focus up,
you little monsters!
583
00:17:30,358 --> 00:17:31,992
Not you, Erica.
You're an angel,
584
00:17:32,027 --> 00:17:33,227
and we're thrilled you're here.
585
00:17:33,228 --> 00:17:35,029
Now, is everyone ready to hear
586
00:17:35,063 --> 00:17:36,530
the best music
you've ever heard
587
00:17:36,565 --> 00:17:38,399
in your miserable little lives?
588
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,867
Kids: No!
589
00:17:39,901 --> 00:17:42,203
Okay, then,
ladies and gentlemen,
590
00:17:42,237 --> 00:17:44,071
please welcome--
591
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,740
what even do you call yourself?
592
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:48,509
- Yeah, I--
- Oh, it's too late!
593
00:17:48,543 --> 00:17:51,245
Please welcome Johnny Karate
594
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:54,482
and his magical guitar stick!
595
00:17:54,516 --> 00:17:56,183
[Kids giggling]
596
00:17:56,218 --> 00:17:57,718
Uh...
597
00:17:57,752 --> 00:17:58,853
[Strums chord]
598
00:17:58,887 --> 00:18:01,488
♪ It feels super good
599
00:18:01,523 --> 00:18:03,124
♪ it's super fun
600
00:18:03,158 --> 00:18:08,996
♪ I wanna do it all the time
601
00:18:09,030 --> 00:18:10,698
♪ pick your nose
602
00:18:10,732 --> 00:18:14,201
[laughter]
603
00:18:14,236 --> 00:18:16,604
♪ 'Cause boogers are gross
604
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,072
♪ clean out your snout
605
00:18:18,106 --> 00:18:20,508
[laughter, overlapping chatter]
606
00:18:20,542 --> 00:18:22,576
♪ You can pick your nose
607
00:18:22,611 --> 00:18:25,513
♪ with your smelly toes
608
00:18:25,547 --> 00:18:28,182
Kids: Ew!
609
00:18:28,216 --> 00:18:29,950
He's doing it!
610
00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:31,018
You're picking your nose,
611
00:18:31,052 --> 00:18:32,212
and you put it on your friend!
612
00:18:32,220 --> 00:18:34,522
Ha-ha, I started that.
Great!
613
00:18:34,556 --> 00:18:37,525
♪ Everybody pees the bed
614
00:18:37,559 --> 00:18:40,828
♪ just something that we do ♪
615
00:18:40,862 --> 00:18:44,398
♪ I for instance peed the bed ♪
616
00:18:44,432 --> 00:18:45,799
♪ until I was 32
617
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,401
Kids: Ew!
618
00:18:47,435 --> 00:18:49,036
♪ Don't play with matches
619
00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:50,571
♪ they're really not safe
620
00:18:50,605 --> 00:18:52,206
♪ your parents keep 'em
in a drawer ♪
621
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,408
♪ with twist ties
and batteries ♪
622
00:18:54,442 --> 00:18:56,043
My name is Bert Macklin.
623
00:18:56,077 --> 00:18:59,613
I investigate stinky feet
for the FBI.
624
00:18:59,648 --> 00:19:01,582
♪ Stinky feet patrol
625
00:19:01,616 --> 00:19:03,551
♪ stinky feet patrol
626
00:19:03,585 --> 00:19:04,885
[kids cheering]
627
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,388
♪ Stinky feet patrol!
628
00:19:07,422 --> 00:19:08,923
♪ Stinky feet patrol!
629
00:19:08,957 --> 00:19:11,559
[Yelling]
630
00:19:11,593 --> 00:19:13,260
This is so fun.
631
00:19:13,295 --> 00:19:16,063
I cannot believe
this only cost me 150 bucks.
632
00:19:17,710 --> 00:19:19,343
Oh, hey.
How was your day?
633
00:19:19,377 --> 00:19:21,011
[Sighs] It was okay.
634
00:19:21,352 --> 00:19:22,453
Now my legs really hurt.
635
00:19:22,487 --> 00:19:23,754
It's like I have
a tension headache,
636
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,122
but in my calves.
637
00:19:25,156 --> 00:19:28,091
A new surprise every day.
638
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:29,726
That sucks.
639
00:19:29,761 --> 00:19:31,228
I know.
640
00:19:31,262 --> 00:19:32,729
And I'm so gassy.
641
00:19:32,764 --> 00:19:35,399
There's just been, like,
a long, slow fart stream
642
00:19:35,433 --> 00:19:37,568
coming out of me
since we started talking...
643
00:19:37,602 --> 00:19:38,602
this morning.
644
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,070
That really sucks.
645
00:19:40,105 --> 00:19:43,974
Yeah. It does.
646
00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:46,910
Thanks.
647
00:19:46,945 --> 00:19:49,446
I'm sorry that I was trying
to fix all your problems.
648
00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:51,915
Oh, God, don't apologize.
649
00:19:51,950 --> 00:19:54,318
I'm sorry I was such a freak.
650
00:19:54,352 --> 00:19:56,954
You're the nicest,
most thoughtful baby daddy
651
00:19:56,988 --> 00:20:00,357
a girl could ask for.
652
00:20:00,391 --> 00:20:01,859
That was incredible.
653
00:20:01,893 --> 00:20:04,094
You are overflowing with talent,
and I admire you.
654
00:20:04,128 --> 00:20:05,362
- Oh.
- Excuse me.
655
00:20:05,396 --> 00:20:07,164
- Mr. Karate?
- Mr. Karate!
656
00:20:07,198 --> 00:20:09,133
My son wants you to sing
at his birthday party
657
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,001
next weekend.
658
00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:12,369
- Are you available?
- He is,
659
00:20:12,404 --> 00:20:14,972
but it's actually $250
for short notice.
660
00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:16,140
You can call this number
661
00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:18,275
and ask for April Karate.
662
00:20:18,309 --> 00:20:19,443
Yes, I will.
663
00:20:19,477 --> 00:20:21,011
- Babe...
- Oh, my God.
664
00:20:21,046 --> 00:20:22,346
That was amazing.
665
00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:24,782
I kind of think you can make
a career out of this.
666
00:20:24,816 --> 00:20:26,817
But, I mean, I don't know.
667
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:29,052
W-what does that make me--
a kids' performer?
668
00:20:29,087 --> 00:20:30,621
I'm supposed to be a rock star.
669
00:20:30,655 --> 00:20:32,523
You just had fun in there
and made $150.
670
00:20:32,557 --> 00:20:34,892
Who cares about what you were
supposed to be?
671
00:20:34,926 --> 00:20:36,226
- Yeah.
- Plus, you have never been
672
00:20:36,261 --> 00:20:37,594
sexier to me
than when you were singing
673
00:20:37,629 --> 00:20:38,695
to those kids just now.
674
00:20:38,730 --> 00:20:39,696
- Really?
- Yeah.
675
00:20:39,731 --> 00:20:41,498
Well, that's weird.
676
00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:42,533
[Steel drums playing]
677
00:20:42,567 --> 00:20:43,834
Nolan, I'm very sorry
678
00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:45,636
that I overreacted
and overstepped my bounds.
679
00:20:45,670 --> 00:20:46,737
I understand.
680
00:20:46,771 --> 00:20:47,838
When I got into the chard game,
681
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,807
I knew I'd ruffle
some feathers.
682
00:20:49,841 --> 00:20:51,675
Sure. I'm just glad
that we could all come
683
00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:52,876
to an agreement.
684
00:20:52,911 --> 00:20:55,579
All right, everybody,
it is now 5:00 P.M.,
685
00:20:55,613 --> 00:20:57,481
which means the farmers market
is closed.
686
00:20:57,515 --> 00:20:59,583
And farmers market after dark
687
00:20:59,617 --> 00:21:02,219
is open for business!
688
00:21:02,253 --> 00:21:05,222
[Sultry dance music]
689
00:21:05,256 --> 00:21:06,723
♪
690
00:21:06,758 --> 00:21:08,058
Well, if this is the way
691
00:21:08,092 --> 00:21:09,772
people want to buy
their produce, so be it.
692
00:21:09,794 --> 00:21:12,496
This town is full of lunatics.
693
00:21:12,530 --> 00:21:16,400
♪
694
00:21:16,434 --> 00:21:17,534
Both: Ugh!
695
00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:19,089
Oh, my God,
this was a terrible idea.
696
00:21:19,104 --> 00:21:22,039
Yeah, it's like a tree
barfed in my mouth.
697
00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:23,748
Bleh.
698
00:21:24,185 --> 00:21:30,624
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com