1
00:00:02,321 --> 00:00:06,259
I've got to say that this report
is quite impressive, Miss Knope.
2
00:00:06,282 --> 00:00:08,082
Thank you very much,
Mr. City Manager.
3
00:00:08,102 --> 00:00:10,315
And I have to say that the way
that you're rockin' those slacks
4
00:00:10,341 --> 00:00:12,388
- is quite impressive as well.
- Well, thank you.
5
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:13,413
[Clears throat]
6
00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,114
- Can we hurry this up, please?
- What?
7
00:00:15,127 --> 00:00:16,733
There's nothing wrong
with acknowledging
8
00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:19,428
the fantastic work of
one of your employees,
9
00:00:19,460 --> 00:00:21,027
especially if she's adorable.
10
00:00:21,041 --> 00:00:23,868
I am back at the parks department,
and Ben is city manager,
11
00:00:23,885 --> 00:00:25,298
but we're married,
so it's kosher.
12
00:00:25,319 --> 00:00:27,072
And awesome.
We live together...
13
00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:28,634
- And work together.
- And we are so...
14
00:00:28,669 --> 00:00:29,460
Both: In sync...
15
00:00:29,483 --> 00:00:31,626
- That we finish each other's...
- Sentences!
16
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,007
We rehearsed that at home.
17
00:00:34,361 --> 00:00:35,468
Naked in bed.
18
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:37,138
- What!
- What!
19
00:00:37,244 --> 00:00:39,151
Please stamp the form.
20
00:00:40,635 --> 00:00:42,942
I just want to admire
it one more time.
21
00:00:42,962 --> 00:00:45,430
Again, fantastic work.
22
00:00:45,552 --> 00:00:47,886
In fact, such good work...
23
00:00:48,175 --> 00:00:49,501
I think I'm in love with you.
24
00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:52,330
Oh, my God, that's great news,
'cause I'm in love with you too.
25
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,240
- What? - What?
- Stamp the form.
26
00:00:54,261 --> 00:00:56,281
Okay, let's not let
Ron feel left out.
27
00:00:56,301 --> 00:00:57,308
We love you too, Ron.
28
00:00:57,332 --> 00:00:59,239
- Stamp the damn form.
- Group hug!
29
00:00:59,253 --> 00:01:00,553
Oh, I'm down for a group hug.
30
00:01:00,581 --> 00:01:02,061
- Little G.H.
- Bring it in.
31
00:01:02,090 --> 00:01:03,706
Come o--
32
00:01:03,844 --> 00:01:05,115
[grunts]
33
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:06,933
Wow.
[Chuckles]
34
00:01:06,954 --> 00:01:08,461
I think our love
made him angry.
35
00:01:08,474 --> 00:01:10,586
- I think he broke my wrist.
I'm not kidding. - Really?
36
00:01:10,617 --> 00:01:13,617
[Triumphant music]
37
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:21,640
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
38
00:01:31,129 --> 00:01:33,276
Good morning, Ann Perkins.
How are you feeling today?
39
00:01:33,298 --> 00:01:34,416
Perfect.
40
00:01:34,429 --> 00:01:36,846
Except that I'm a whale
and that my feet already kill.
41
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:37,672
[Laughs]
42
00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:40,590
- Whales don't have feet.
- I am a crazy shape.
43
00:01:40,612 --> 00:01:43,092
This morning when I got out
of bed, I just tipped forward
44
00:01:43,122 --> 00:01:45,142
like a poorly
made bowling pin.
45
00:01:45,157 --> 00:01:47,364
Did I mention that my feet
kill me all the time?
46
00:01:47,392 --> 00:01:49,025
Oh! Let me rub them.
47
00:01:49,047 --> 00:01:50,736
Oh, wait. No.
48
00:01:50,755 --> 00:01:52,869
I read something
on raddadsolutions.net
49
00:01:52,891 --> 00:01:55,746
that there's a pressure point in
the foot that could induce labor.
50
00:01:55,759 --> 00:01:57,499
Oh, it doesn't matter.
I don't care.
51
00:01:57,562 --> 00:02:00,075
I'm gonna go choke down those horse
pills I have to take every day.
52
00:02:00,099 --> 00:02:01,766
Oh, no, no, I'll cut
them in half for you.
53
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:05,301
And I will pour you a glass of
flaxseed milk to wash it down.
54
00:02:05,317 --> 00:02:06,317
Everything is amazing.
55
00:02:06,331 --> 00:02:08,164
Today is perfect,
56
00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:09,394
and I love you.
57
00:02:09,621 --> 00:02:13,528
Chris is so wonderful and
thoughtful and positive.
58
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,731
He's driving me up
the fucking wall.
59
00:02:16,755 --> 00:02:17,828
Smoothie's ready!
60
00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:20,177
[Steel drums playing]
61
00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:22,492
Opening this farmers market
62
00:02:22,514 --> 00:02:25,041
was one of my greatest
achievements as city councilor.
63
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:27,622
It's good for the economy,
it's good for families,
64
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,722
and it's good for promoting
a healthy lifestyle,
65
00:02:29,748 --> 00:02:32,049
which Pawnee
desperately needs.
66
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:34,390
Look at this tiny tree.
67
00:02:34,426 --> 00:02:36,013
Can you eat this?
68
00:02:36,034 --> 00:02:38,617
Aww. This one's dead.
69
00:02:40,545 --> 00:02:43,345
Hey, Connie Cabbage.
What's good today?
70
00:02:43,376 --> 00:02:45,436
Green cabbage is
always a safe bet.
71
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,830
Red cabbage is good.
72
00:02:46,843 --> 00:02:48,777
[Chuckles] I mean,
you can't go wrong.
73
00:02:48,808 --> 00:02:50,535
That's the fun thing
about cabbage.
74
00:02:50,562 --> 00:02:52,095
- One of the fun things.
- Oh!
75
00:02:52,212 --> 00:02:54,813
[Funky rock music]
76
00:02:54,874 --> 00:02:58,094
Time to crank this market
up a notch, y'all!
77
00:02:58,117 --> 00:03:00,861
"Chardbodies:
Get a chard on"?
78
00:03:00,887 --> 00:03:04,100
Let's get
"re-charded" in here!
79
00:03:04,122 --> 00:03:06,135
- What the hell is going on?
- Oh, yeah.
80
00:03:06,157 --> 00:03:08,258
That's the new chard stand.
81
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,709
I suppose that's one way
to sell vegetables.
82
00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:14,437
We got Swiss chard, we got white
chard, we got chard poppers!
83
00:03:14,459 --> 00:03:17,646
And for all you freaky
vegans out there...
84
00:03:17,676 --> 00:03:19,543
We got chard shots!
85
00:03:19,564 --> 00:03:20,891
Yeah!
86
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:23,727
Mmm, chard is so bitter.
87
00:03:23,883 --> 00:03:25,356
Ben, do something.
88
00:03:25,723 --> 00:03:27,856
- What do you want me to do?
- Well, you're the city manager.
89
00:03:27,881 --> 00:03:30,233
Kick them out. They're
violating every single one
90
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:32,073
of the farmers market's
rules of conduct.
91
00:03:32,110 --> 00:03:35,165
By "rules of conduct," do you
mean that wooden sign you made
92
00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:37,132
that says, "Peas be
kind to others"?
93
00:03:37,161 --> 00:03:39,741
Yes, and "In case of
fire, romaine calm,"
94
00:03:39,758 --> 00:03:43,158
and "You won't bay leaf how
nice olive our vendors are."
95
00:03:43,194 --> 00:03:45,347
I don't like vegetables, but I'm
very good at vegetable puns.
96
00:03:45,364 --> 00:03:47,611
Okay, I admit this is
a little iffy, but...
97
00:03:47,623 --> 00:03:51,552
- A little iffy? - I can't do anything
until I check the rules for city vendors.
98
00:03:51,823 --> 00:03:53,000
Cabbage!
99
00:03:53,270 --> 00:03:55,278
Come and... get it.
100
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,813
Connie, no.
101
00:03:56,842 --> 00:03:58,350
Put those away.
102
00:03:59,237 --> 00:04:01,725
♪ April's sitting on my lap ♪
103
00:04:01,738 --> 00:04:04,115
♪ I shouldn't tell her
that I gotta take a crap ♪
104
00:04:04,136 --> 00:04:05,543
♪ Oh, no
105
00:04:05,757 --> 00:04:07,617
- Don't.
- ♪ I should just go
106
00:04:07,646 --> 00:04:09,199
Oh, my God.
You play guitar?
107
00:04:09,227 --> 00:04:11,000
No, that's a super
small piano.
108
00:04:11,029 --> 00:04:14,416
Okay, I'm gonna need the sarcasm
to take a long walk right now.
109
00:04:14,433 --> 00:04:17,573
My terrible nephew Sebastian is having
his sixth birthday party this weekend,
110
00:04:17,596 --> 00:04:19,036
and the clown they
hired has shingles.
111
00:04:19,049 --> 00:04:21,189
- [Gasps] - You think your
band could play for an hour?
112
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:22,701
- How much?
- 75.
113
00:04:22,727 --> 00:04:24,103
$75,000?
114
00:04:24,281 --> 00:04:27,629
- How about 300?
- $300,000?
115
00:04:27,665 --> 00:04:29,085
- 150.
- They'll do it.
116
00:04:29,114 --> 00:04:31,121
Ah, thank you.
That is such a relief.
117
00:04:31,142 --> 00:04:33,529
I love my nephew very much, but
he's a horrible little tyrant,
118
00:04:33,553 --> 00:04:35,599
so don't ruin
this day for him!
119
00:04:36,141 --> 00:04:37,981
150 bucks?
120
00:04:38,009 --> 00:04:39,850
Split that four ways, boom.
121
00:04:39,878 --> 00:04:41,984
$600.
122
00:04:42,334 --> 00:04:46,281
I'll say it again: The men's room needs
a separate dispenser for face wash.
123
00:04:46,305 --> 00:04:48,118
I can't wash my face
with hand soap.
124
00:04:48,141 --> 00:04:50,068
Look at these pores.
They're gaping.
125
00:04:50,096 --> 00:04:51,663
- Hey, guys.
- Time-out.
126
00:04:51,690 --> 00:04:54,510
Let's take a brief recess.
Can we help you, Ann?
127
00:04:54,532 --> 00:04:56,952
I was looking for Leslie,
but now I'm curious
128
00:04:56,971 --> 00:05:00,381
why you guys are sitting around doing
nothing and getting drunk at work.
129
00:05:00,406 --> 00:05:01,962
It's the whine &
cheese club, gorgeous.
130
00:05:01,994 --> 00:05:03,314
It's a monthly gathering
131
00:05:03,349 --> 00:05:05,829
where we all get together and vent
about what annoys us at work.
132
00:05:05,850 --> 00:05:07,990
Over fine wines and
cheeses, of course.
133
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,073
Larry, salami!
134
00:05:10,115 --> 00:05:11,935
The human resources
department
135
00:05:11,956 --> 00:05:14,656
requires that I be
available once a month
136
00:05:14,686 --> 00:05:18,366
to discuss workplace
disputes with my employees.
137
00:05:18,390 --> 00:05:21,352
The rules do not specify whether
or not I'm allowed to listen
138
00:05:21,366 --> 00:05:23,866
to Willie Nelson
on my headphones.
139
00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:26,990
And Kyle parked his
car in my spot again.
140
00:05:26,996 --> 00:05:28,750
Now, that is the fourth
time this month.
141
00:05:28,780 --> 00:05:30,385
♪ Hello, walls
142
00:05:30,416 --> 00:05:33,263
- ♪ Hello
- ♪ Hello
143
00:05:33,284 --> 00:05:37,011
♪ How'd things go
for you today? ♪
144
00:05:37,036 --> 00:05:39,103
I just want to choke him
until he passes out.
145
00:05:39,124 --> 00:05:41,304
- Time. - This looks like
fun. I want to try.
146
00:05:41,354 --> 00:05:43,927
Mm, there's rules to this, sweet pea.
It's Donna's turn next.
147
00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,435
I'll cede my time to Ann.
148
00:05:45,457 --> 00:05:46,917
I have a feeling this
is gonna be good.
149
00:05:46,939 --> 00:05:49,746
Okay, well, I'm not gonna talk for
long, 'cause I have to pee again,
150
00:05:49,775 --> 00:05:51,042
'cause I have to pee
every six minutes,
151
00:05:51,057 --> 00:05:54,470
'cause I have a beach ball in my
stomach that's punching on my bladder.
152
00:05:54,493 --> 00:05:55,377
[Chuckles]
153
00:05:55,402 --> 00:05:57,400
- That sucks.
- I know.
154
00:05:57,427 --> 00:05:59,187
- And I'm never not hungry.
- Oh, well, have some cheese.
155
00:05:59,212 --> 00:06:01,799
I can't have cheese, Larry!
And I can't have wine either.
156
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,360
I can't have anything good.
157
00:06:03,375 --> 00:06:06,402
You know, what I can have
is liquefied flaxseed.
158
00:06:06,424 --> 00:06:08,132
But I don't want that.
You know what I want?
159
00:06:08,145 --> 00:06:09,981
Pork rinds.
I want jelly beans.
160
00:06:10,001 --> 00:06:12,788
And I want a huge trash bag
filled with mashed potatoes.
161
00:06:12,804 --> 00:06:16,368
I want to be Pac-Man, and instead of
dots, I want 'em to be cinnamon buns.
162
00:06:16,401 --> 00:06:18,542
I want to be a giant
head and a mouth,
163
00:06:18,564 --> 00:06:21,364
and I just want to eat rows
and rows of junk food pellets,
164
00:06:21,376 --> 00:06:24,035
and where's my trash
bag of potatoes?
165
00:06:24,089 --> 00:06:25,421
[Groans]
166
00:06:27,645 --> 00:06:28,946
Time.
167
00:06:29,007 --> 00:06:30,100
Yikes.
168
00:06:30,408 --> 00:06:32,614
Okay, Harrison
Ford movie night.
169
00:06:32,631 --> 00:06:35,731
Before we do that, I was thinking
more about that chard guy.
170
00:06:35,761 --> 00:06:38,494
I mean, it would be very easy for
you to revoke their license.
171
00:06:38,530 --> 00:06:41,283
Okay, Leslie, this
is city business,
172
00:06:41,314 --> 00:06:44,481
and I'm not an emperor. I can't
just kick them out for no reason.
173
00:06:44,503 --> 00:06:46,463
The reason is it's
vegetable porn.
174
00:06:46,484 --> 00:06:47,710
Porn on the cob.
175
00:06:47,723 --> 00:06:49,130
I'm sorry. I'm just
very good at that.
176
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,893
Look, I am not a prude,
but the point is,
177
00:06:51,917 --> 00:06:53,217
people shouldn't
be half naked,
178
00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:55,985
you know, in public, in the middle
of the day, in front of children.
179
00:06:56,004 --> 00:06:58,205
There's your reason.
Kick them out.
180
00:06:58,237 --> 00:07:01,005
Look, now that we're
working together again,
181
00:07:01,031 --> 00:07:03,765
maybe it would be good
to keep our home life
182
00:07:03,802 --> 00:07:05,982
and our work life separate.
183
00:07:06,064 --> 00:07:09,018
Like we only talk about work
stuff when we're at city hall,
184
00:07:09,042 --> 00:07:11,022
like a firewall system.
185
00:07:11,469 --> 00:07:13,542
Yeah. Yeah, okay.
That's smart.
186
00:07:13,565 --> 00:07:14,996
Home is home, and work is work.
187
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,829
We can always talk about this
tomorrow at the office.
188
00:07:16,855 --> 00:07:18,789
Good.
Glad you agree.
189
00:07:18,811 --> 00:07:21,318
- [Grunts]
- All right. Crystal Skull it is.
190
00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:24,317
No, it's ridiculous to think
that you could survive
191
00:07:24,337 --> 00:07:27,093
a nuclear blast by jumping
into a refrigerator.
192
00:07:27,112 --> 00:07:28,674
- Mm-hmm, yeah, uh-huh.
- But still, it's like--
193
00:07:28,706 --> 00:07:30,466
Okay, so I found
a legal precedent
194
00:07:30,489 --> 00:07:32,542
to shut down those
vegetable smut peddlers.
195
00:07:32,571 --> 00:07:33,911
What is happening?
196
00:07:33,959 --> 00:07:34,962
Firewall, man.
197
00:07:34,975 --> 00:07:38,282
We pulled into the parking lot, and
this is technically city hall property,
198
00:07:38,315 --> 00:07:40,035
so now we're at
work-- let's do this.
199
00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:42,360
The farmers market is
a community meeting place,
200
00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:45,401
and that pan-sexual stripper show
basically negates the whole purpose.
201
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:49,066
So if you're looking for a reason
to kick them out, here's 158.
202
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:50,907
The new farmers
market rule book.
203
00:07:50,936 --> 00:07:52,704
Okay, when did you make this?
204
00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:54,002
I stayed up all night.
205
00:07:54,020 --> 00:07:55,847
I also made these--
206
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,968
Leslie's toffee surprise.
207
00:07:58,196 --> 00:08:00,543
The surprise is there's
toffee in the inside.
208
00:08:00,559 --> 00:08:04,126
You can eat those once you revoke
the chard vendor's license.
209
00:08:04,144 --> 00:08:06,095
Good day, colleague.
210
00:08:06,850 --> 00:08:08,423
Okay.
[Car door closes]
211
00:08:09,993 --> 00:08:11,666
Ann Perkins!
How are you feeling?
212
00:08:11,693 --> 00:08:14,039
- You don't want to know.
- It's all I want to know.
213
00:08:14,949 --> 00:08:16,522
All right, man,
you asked for it.
214
00:08:16,535 --> 00:08:19,425
I have shooting pains that go all
the way up from my butt to my neck.
215
00:08:19,445 --> 00:08:21,069
My stomach has so many
stretch marks on it
216
00:08:21,088 --> 00:08:22,669
that it looks like an
old-fashioned globe.
217
00:08:22,696 --> 00:08:24,089
My boobs are getting
really sore.
218
00:08:24,110 --> 00:08:26,740
Also, I just read Brooke Shields'
book on post-partum depression.
219
00:08:26,766 --> 00:08:29,977
Now I have pre-post-partum
depression anxiety.
220
00:08:30,423 --> 00:08:31,696
- Well, never fear.
- [Sighs]
221
00:08:31,718 --> 00:08:34,940
I will get you Tylenol for your pain
and shea butter for your belly.
222
00:08:34,968 --> 00:08:37,530
And your voluptuous figure only
means your body is working
223
00:08:37,549 --> 00:08:39,671
exactly as nature
intended it.
224
00:08:39,699 --> 00:08:41,734
There, it's all good.
Is that better?
225
00:08:41,934 --> 00:08:43,034
Yeah. Thanks.
226
00:08:43,050 --> 00:08:44,257
I've been reading
up on nipples.
227
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:45,842
The reason that you're
feeling nipple sensitivity
228
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,572
is because your milk ducts in
your nipples are opening up,
229
00:08:48,592 --> 00:08:50,928
which is why I bought
you this nipple kit.
230
00:08:50,951 --> 00:08:52,451
It's from Kernsten's--
the nipple people.
231
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:56,653
It has nipple cream, nipple pads, and
also a special nipple pimple ointment
232
00:08:56,683 --> 00:08:58,350
in case you develop any
pimples on your nipples.
233
00:08:58,365 --> 00:09:01,263
Oh, my God, you have to stop
using the word "nipple."
234
00:09:01,729 --> 00:09:03,176
Okay. Anyway.
235
00:09:03,203 --> 00:09:06,798
Hopefully that will help you with any
sensitivity that may arise around your...
236
00:09:08,675 --> 00:09:09,986
boob hats.
237
00:09:10,431 --> 00:09:11,798
Larry, get in there!
Come on!
238
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,165
What do--I don't even
know what we're doing.
239
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,646
What is the meaning
of this, nurse?
240
00:09:14,661 --> 00:09:16,468
Emergency whine
& cheese club.
241
00:09:16,496 --> 00:09:18,776
Put your headphones on, Ron.
I have a lot of complaints.
242
00:09:18,798 --> 00:09:20,766
Sit down. I need to vent.
243
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,090
And do not under any circumstances
respond to anything I say.
244
00:09:24,224 --> 00:09:25,324
All right.
245
00:09:25,345 --> 00:09:26,998
Let's talk about vomit, kids.
246
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:28,778
I do it all day long.
247
00:09:29,176 --> 00:09:30,509
♪ Super fun
248
00:09:30,524 --> 00:09:32,384
♪ It feels super good
249
00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:35,576
♪ I wanna do it all the time
250
00:09:35,788 --> 00:09:39,424
♪ Sex is cool
251
00:09:39,499 --> 00:09:41,526
Okay, Sex Is Cool. Got that.
252
00:09:41,554 --> 00:09:44,581
I say we finish on
Drunk Off Our Asses.
253
00:09:44,596 --> 00:09:47,026
And I think we should
do Sex in Space.
254
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:49,079
It's 20 minutes long,
but it's really good.
255
00:09:49,116 --> 00:09:51,163
Babe, I don't think you should
play any of those songs
256
00:09:51,182 --> 00:09:54,169
- for a group of six-year-olds.
- Whoa, wait-- six-year-olds?
257
00:09:54,213 --> 00:09:56,173
Did you book us a gig
at a kids' party?
258
00:09:56,201 --> 00:09:57,722
You said we were
playing at a festival.
259
00:09:57,743 --> 00:09:59,050
You said Dave Grohl
might be there.
260
00:09:59,086 --> 00:10:01,693
Dave Grohl might be there.
I don't know.
261
00:10:01,715 --> 00:10:02,828
He might be anywhere.
262
00:10:02,862 --> 00:10:04,695
The guy's awesome,
and he's unpredictable.
263
00:10:04,708 --> 00:10:07,103
No, no, I'm not playing for
a bunch of screaming kids.
264
00:10:07,126 --> 00:10:09,293
Mouse Rat is a rock band.
We're not the Wiggles.
265
00:10:09,322 --> 00:10:09,989
Come on!
266
00:10:10,002 --> 00:10:12,109
I'm sick of all the
drama with this band.
267
00:10:12,139 --> 00:10:14,659
I-I quit. I'm going back
to rabbinical school.
268
00:10:14,692 --> 00:10:15,467
[Cymbals crash]
269
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,903
Umbilical school?
270
00:10:16,924 --> 00:10:19,657
Rivers, come back. Rivers,
don't do this. Hey!
271
00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:21,438
Shaq might be there!
272
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:25,412
Hey, did you get a chance to sign
off on that booklet I gave you?
273
00:10:25,432 --> 00:10:29,101
Well, I read it, but it seems
like your farmers market rules
274
00:10:29,115 --> 00:10:31,602
may be specifically
targeting chardbodies.
275
00:10:31,618 --> 00:10:33,631
What? How?
276
00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:35,199
"No visible cleavage.
277
00:10:35,208 --> 00:10:38,315
"No strobe lights. No
chard-related innuendo."
278
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,038
Those apply to all vendors.
279
00:10:40,060 --> 00:10:42,540
Either way, it's too late. The
train has left the station.
280
00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:44,457
Okay, what train,
from which station?
281
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,358
- You're revoking my license?
- Oh, boy.
282
00:10:46,393 --> 00:10:49,399
Yes, Nolan, under the auspices
of the office of city manager,
283
00:10:49,412 --> 00:10:52,759
et cetera, et cetera, it's not important,
you are in violation of many rules,
284
00:10:52,779 --> 00:10:54,559
and therefore you cannot
sell your goods anymore
285
00:10:54,574 --> 00:10:57,861
at the Pawnee farmers market. Ben,
back me up on this without hesitation.
286
00:10:57,878 --> 00:10:59,871
Nolan, can I have a second
to speak with my w--
287
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,726
with Ms. Knope
for a second?
288
00:11:01,755 --> 00:11:03,626
Look, chard is disgusting.
289
00:11:03,638 --> 00:11:06,491
You try selling it without sexy
dancers. It's impossible.
290
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,060
It's like,
"Hey, you like lettuce?
291
00:11:08,095 --> 00:11:10,876
"Try this. It's worse. It tastes
like kale took a dump on spinach."
292
00:11:10,899 --> 00:11:12,826
I like to think of it
as celery with B.O.
293
00:11:12,832 --> 00:11:15,226
But if it's so gross, you should
just sell something else.
294
00:11:15,256 --> 00:11:17,603
I inherited this farm from my dad.
It's all I have.
295
00:11:17,617 --> 00:11:19,637
Plus, the other vendors want me there.
I'm good for business.
296
00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:21,520
We're not revoking
your license.
297
00:11:21,540 --> 00:11:22,487
For now.
298
00:11:22,506 --> 00:11:24,312
I am sorry you
had to come in.
299
00:11:25,325 --> 00:11:28,245
- Judas! - I don't appreciate
being ambushed, Leslie.
300
00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:29,575
- Let's just go home.
- No.
301
00:11:29,603 --> 00:11:31,916
I know what you're trying to do.
If we go home, the firewall is up,
302
00:11:31,932 --> 00:11:33,439
and then you don't have
to deal with me anymore.
303
00:11:33,452 --> 00:11:35,096
Instead, fellow employee,
304
00:11:35,115 --> 00:11:38,724
I will meet you in the basement
conference room at 6:00 P.M.,
305
00:11:38,759 --> 00:11:41,639
and we will solve this chard
issue once and for all.
306
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:43,181
Don't forget your
approval pen.
307
00:11:43,216 --> 00:11:45,609
- What? There's no such thing.
- Yes, there is.
308
00:11:45,645 --> 00:11:47,376
I made it for you last night.
309
00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:50,548
Ugh, and Lamaze class,
310
00:11:50,557 --> 00:11:52,817
wait till I tell you
about that Ponzi scheme.
311
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:53,644
Ugh.
312
00:11:53,673 --> 00:11:55,646
Oh, hey, Donna,
what the hell?
313
00:11:55,675 --> 00:11:58,562
You know I can't be around
smoke or fatty tuna.
314
00:11:58,592 --> 00:11:59,479
Ron--
315
00:11:59,505 --> 00:12:01,818
At first, this was funny, but
it's gotten out of hand.
316
00:12:01,841 --> 00:12:05,581
This was our chance to vent about
work, and you've taken it over.
317
00:12:05,607 --> 00:12:06,461
Yeah!
318
00:12:06,486 --> 00:12:08,293
It's sushi and cigar club now.
319
00:12:08,315 --> 00:12:10,082
Wow. Okay.
320
00:12:10,142 --> 00:12:11,607
I see how it is.
321
00:12:12,873 --> 00:12:13,806
I feel bad.
322
00:12:13,841 --> 00:12:15,273
I don't. This is a Cuban.
323
00:12:15,286 --> 00:12:16,970
This is yellowtail.
I feel amazing.
324
00:12:16,996 --> 00:12:18,749
Whoa! Monster in the window!
325
00:12:19,046 --> 00:12:20,639
You know what my
biggest complaint is?
326
00:12:20,661 --> 00:12:22,641
I have a million things I
need to complain about,
327
00:12:22,670 --> 00:12:24,257
and I can't take them
home because Chris is
328
00:12:24,270 --> 00:12:25,830
the most considerate person
in the world,
329
00:12:25,859 --> 00:12:28,226
and he just wants to help me,
and then I feel bad about that,
330
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,771
and then I get annoyed
that he wants to help me,
331
00:12:29,809 --> 00:12:31,030
and I feel even worse
about that!
332
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,808
I thought you guys would be cool with
me complaining 'cause it's all you do,
333
00:12:33,828 --> 00:12:36,581
is sit here and complain
without judgment or guilt.
334
00:12:36,609 --> 00:12:38,236
But you know what?
I guess I was wrong.
335
00:12:38,251 --> 00:12:39,811
And you know what?
I would yell some more,
336
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:42,313
but I think I just peed
my pants a little bit.
337
00:12:43,136 --> 00:12:45,696
What's happening now?
Is the nurse upset?
338
00:12:45,726 --> 00:12:47,074
I don't care.
339
00:12:47,974 --> 00:12:50,001
Okay, 6:00.
Let's do this.
340
00:12:50,021 --> 00:12:52,074
- Larry?
- Mm. Hey, Leslie.
341
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,783
Ben couldn't make it, so he
asked me to read you this.
342
00:12:54,796 --> 00:12:56,470
"Dear honey--"
Oh, how sweet.
343
00:12:56,503 --> 00:12:58,154
- Read.
- Oh.
344
00:12:58,399 --> 00:13:01,139
"Sorry, but I think we just need to
take a break from this work issue.
345
00:13:01,161 --> 00:13:02,519
"Please don't grind
your teeth too hard
346
00:13:02,552 --> 00:13:05,212
"when you hear this. I will see
you in the car. I love you."
347
00:13:05,232 --> 00:13:07,425
Oh, that is so sweet that you
still write love letters to--
348
00:13:07,432 --> 00:13:08,754
[roars]
349
00:13:11,217 --> 00:13:12,517
What the hell
are you doing out here?
350
00:13:12,536 --> 00:13:15,257
Sorry, babe. I am off
city hall property.
351
00:13:15,455 --> 00:13:16,575
You have to stop.
352
00:13:16,590 --> 00:13:17,556
Firewall.
353
00:13:17,578 --> 00:13:20,353
Wrong. All roads and bridges
fall under the purview
354
00:13:20,379 --> 00:13:22,206
of the Pawnee department
of transportation,
355
00:13:22,229 --> 00:13:24,729
which is located on the
fourth floor of city hall.
356
00:13:24,751 --> 00:13:26,011
Firewall down.
357
00:13:26,032 --> 00:13:28,008
Stay frosty, Wyatt.
358
00:13:28,168 --> 00:13:29,621
We're just getting started.
359
00:13:29,648 --> 00:13:31,675
Okay, well, that's
interesting.
360
00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:32,423
You know why?
361
00:13:32,446 --> 00:13:34,022
- Why?
- Because--
362
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:37,085
Mother--
363
00:13:39,170 --> 00:13:40,136
Ha-ha!
364
00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:41,938
Bank! Private property.
365
00:13:41,972 --> 00:13:43,425
Firewall restored!
366
00:13:43,460 --> 00:13:44,445
Ha-ha-ha!
367
00:13:44,458 --> 00:13:48,989
The concrete that you're standing on was
poured by a municipal construction crew.
368
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:51,620
[Grunts]
369
00:13:51,955 --> 00:13:54,089
Private fountain,
private property.
370
00:13:54,117 --> 00:13:55,084
I'm safe.
371
00:13:55,112 --> 00:13:56,932
Guess where the
water comes from.
372
00:13:56,959 --> 00:13:58,760
The Pawnee reservoir.
373
00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:03,270
You can't escape
city hall, fool!
374
00:14:03,293 --> 00:14:04,700
Let's dance.
375
00:14:07,070 --> 00:14:07,990
[Door slams]
376
00:14:08,010 --> 00:14:10,437
Hey, friends. I'm just about
to go on my night jog.
377
00:14:10,476 --> 00:14:12,796
- Would you like to join me?
- Mm, hard pass.
378
00:14:12,836 --> 00:14:15,069
We're here because you need
to tend to your woman.
379
00:14:15,090 --> 00:14:17,990
She's complaining about everything,
ruining whine & cheese club.
380
00:14:18,008 --> 00:14:20,021
I literally have
1,000 questions.
381
00:14:20,055 --> 00:14:21,422
Why is Ron wearing
headphones?
382
00:14:21,445 --> 00:14:23,865
What's whine & cheese club? And
what is Ann complaining about?
383
00:14:23,893 --> 00:14:25,800
You, mostly-- how you
never let her vent
384
00:14:25,813 --> 00:14:28,178
because you're always too busy
trying to solve everything for her.
385
00:14:28,203 --> 00:14:29,750
She's upset that I'm
trying to help her?
386
00:14:29,773 --> 00:14:32,596
You've fallen into a classic
trap, Christopher--
387
00:14:32,616 --> 00:14:36,589
trying to fix a woman's problems instead
of just listening to what they are!
388
00:14:36,607 --> 00:14:37,874
Why are you yelling?
389
00:14:37,895 --> 00:14:40,741
Tom put all my records
into this rectangle!
390
00:14:40,924 --> 00:14:43,804
Hey, man, if Ann needs Tylenol,
she can get it herself.
391
00:14:43,826 --> 00:14:46,753
What she needs from you is to
just look her in the eyes,
392
00:14:46,783 --> 00:14:49,283
nod your head, and say
those two magic words.
393
00:14:49,485 --> 00:14:51,520
"That sucks."
394
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,108
"That sucks"?
395
00:14:53,121 --> 00:14:55,866
I spent my entire life reading
instructional books about relationships
396
00:14:55,886 --> 00:14:57,493
in order to trick
women into liking me.
397
00:14:57,527 --> 00:14:59,107
When Ann tells you
what's bothering her,
398
00:14:59,136 --> 00:15:01,850
don't try to fix it.
Just say,
399
00:15:02,011 --> 00:15:04,191
"Damn, that sucks."
400
00:15:04,227 --> 00:15:07,247
[Chortles] The songs just play
one right after the other!
401
00:15:07,277 --> 00:15:09,607
This is an excellent
rectangle!
402
00:15:14,138 --> 00:15:15,618
Okay, this is insane.
403
00:15:15,637 --> 00:15:17,958
It is 40 degrees, and we are
standing in freezing water.
404
00:15:17,994 --> 00:15:19,707
No, this is our motivation.
405
00:15:19,736 --> 00:15:23,083
We are not leaving this fountain until
we've figured this out once and for all.
406
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:24,967
Fine. Why are you not
supporting me on this?
407
00:15:24,980 --> 00:15:26,320
I thought you agreed with me.
408
00:15:26,355 --> 00:15:28,361
I do, as a person,
409
00:15:28,378 --> 00:15:32,105
but as city manager, I'm not
100% sure you have a case.
410
00:15:32,128 --> 00:15:33,975
You're not listening
to my side.
411
00:15:33,998 --> 00:15:36,256
I mean, sometimes when we
disagree, you're so passionate,
412
00:15:36,262 --> 00:15:38,276
I feel like I'm
arguing with the sun.
413
00:15:38,308 --> 00:15:41,921
What? That is totally crazy! I
am super chill all the time!
414
00:15:43,827 --> 00:15:46,547
Look, let's just admit it.
We're in a weird position.
415
00:15:46,583 --> 00:15:49,832
We're married. Our professional
status has flipped, like, five times.
416
00:15:49,854 --> 00:15:51,534
I mean, now I'm your boss.
417
00:15:52,082 --> 00:15:54,529
This is "un-charded"
territory for us.
418
00:15:54,551 --> 00:15:56,664
Oh, that's nice.
419
00:15:56,686 --> 00:15:58,615
Thanks. I learned
from the best.
420
00:15:59,136 --> 00:16:01,769
The point is,
forget firewalls.
421
00:16:01,805 --> 00:16:05,258
Let's just be respectful
and communicate,
422
00:16:05,271 --> 00:16:06,838
and we'll find the
right balance.
423
00:16:06,870 --> 00:16:07,885
You're right.
424
00:16:07,910 --> 00:16:10,858
I should have
considered your side.
425
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,837
I love you, and you're
also a very smart person.
426
00:16:17,661 --> 00:16:20,027
- Let's get out of this fountain.
- I can't because my legs are numb.
427
00:16:20,050 --> 00:16:22,589
- Yeah, I can't move. Are
we gonna die here? - Yeah.
428
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,907
[Kids chattering]
No, don't do that.
429
00:16:24,935 --> 00:16:27,008
I don't like this game. I don't
know what the rules are!
430
00:16:27,036 --> 00:16:28,376
Okay, babe, here's
what I did.
431
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,391
Tell me if this is appropriate
for a kids' song.
432
00:16:30,417 --> 00:16:33,206
I changed the lyrics
in Sex Hair to...
433
00:16:33,257 --> 00:16:35,457
♪ You got sex bears
434
00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:37,465
♪ You got 'em from me, kids
435
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,007
♪ Sex bears
436
00:16:39,029 --> 00:16:40,142
♪ Big ol' sex bears
437
00:16:40,168 --> 00:16:43,517
Andy, the word "hair" was not
the problem with Sex Hair.
438
00:16:44,107 --> 00:16:46,628
Oh, it's sex!
Oh, crap.
439
00:16:46,650 --> 00:16:48,283
Now what the hell
am I supposed to sing?
440
00:16:48,303 --> 00:16:50,356
It's time, Andrew. These kids
are tearing my house apart,
441
00:16:50,375 --> 00:16:52,155
and I need you to calm them
with the power of song.
442
00:16:52,169 --> 00:16:54,497
Oh, gosh, here's the
thing-- I can't do it.
443
00:16:54,571 --> 00:16:56,129
I got laryngitis.
444
00:16:56,159 --> 00:16:59,312
You will not bail on me, Andrew
Dwyer. You will perform.
445
00:16:59,343 --> 00:17:01,154
My nephew is something
of an outcast in his school,
446
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,762
and I got Erica Swarvane to
come, which is a huge get.
447
00:17:03,787 --> 00:17:05,147
She rules the first grade.
448
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,300
And this party will determine his social
status for the next hundred years!
449
00:17:08,324 --> 00:17:10,717
So you better get out there,
or I am going to lose it!
450
00:17:10,747 --> 00:17:11,887
Have you not lost it?
451
00:17:11,914 --> 00:17:13,347
Oh, you don't even know!
452
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:16,385
- Babe, I'm freaking out.
- Listen to me.
453
00:17:16,433 --> 00:17:20,146
You make up songs all the time off
the top of your head. You do.
454
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:22,563
You can do this,
and afterwards,
455
00:17:22,591 --> 00:17:25,161
- we can have cake.
- I already had cake.
456
00:17:25,662 --> 00:17:26,995
Andy!
457
00:17:27,064 --> 00:17:27,964
[Kids shouting]
458
00:17:27,992 --> 00:17:30,485
Okay, focus up,
you little monsters!
459
00:17:30,712 --> 00:17:33,379
Not you, Erica. You're an angel,
and we're thrilled you're here.
460
00:17:33,409 --> 00:17:35,055
Now, is everyone ready to hear
461
00:17:35,075 --> 00:17:38,102
the best music you've ever heard
in your miserable little lives?
462
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,821
Kids: No!
463
00:17:39,843 --> 00:17:42,096
Okay, then, ladies
and gentlemen,
464
00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:43,953
please welcome--
465
00:17:44,047 --> 00:17:45,756
what even do you
call yourself?
466
00:17:46,430 --> 00:17:48,497
- Yeah, I--
- Oh, it's too late!
467
00:17:48,645 --> 00:17:54,424
Please welcome Johnny Karate
and his magical guitar stick!
468
00:17:54,564 --> 00:17:56,231
[Kids giggling]
469
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:57,653
Uh...
470
00:17:57,694 --> 00:17:58,795
[Strums chord]
471
00:17:59,029 --> 00:18:01,296
♪ It feels super good
472
00:18:01,322 --> 00:18:02,982
♪ It's super fun
473
00:18:03,006 --> 00:18:06,926
♪ I wanna do it all the time
474
00:18:09,118 --> 00:18:10,786
♪ Pick your nose
475
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:13,146
[laughter]
476
00:18:13,977 --> 00:18:16,510
♪ 'Cause boogers are gross
477
00:18:16,547 --> 00:18:17,981
♪ Clean out your snout
478
00:18:18,001 --> 00:18:20,403
[laughter, overlapping chatter]
479
00:18:20,484 --> 00:18:22,917
♪ You can pick your nose
480
00:18:22,943 --> 00:18:25,097
♪ With your smelly toes
481
00:18:25,122 --> 00:18:26,743
Kids: Ew!
482
00:18:28,518 --> 00:18:29,925
He's doing it!
483
00:18:30,131 --> 00:18:32,231
You're picking your nose, and
you put it on your friend!
484
00:18:32,272 --> 00:18:34,352
Ha-ha, I started that.
Great!
485
00:18:34,388 --> 00:18:37,641
♪ Everybody pees the bed
486
00:18:37,671 --> 00:18:40,352
♪ Just something that we do ♪
487
00:18:41,008 --> 00:18:44,212
♪ I for instance peed the bed ♪
488
00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:46,117
♪ Until I was 32
489
00:18:46,137 --> 00:18:47,363
Kids: Ew!
490
00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:48,894
♪ Don't play with matches
491
00:18:48,915 --> 00:18:50,342
♪ They're really not safe
492
00:18:50,355 --> 00:18:52,502
♪ Your parents keep
'em in a drawer ♪
493
00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:54,289
♪ With twist ties
and batteries ♪
494
00:18:54,321 --> 00:18:55,988
My name is Bert Macklin.
495
00:18:56,021 --> 00:18:59,589
I investigate stinky
feet for the FBI.
496
00:18:59,607 --> 00:19:01,607
♪ Stinky feet patrol
497
00:19:01,755 --> 00:19:03,562
♪ Stinky feet patrol
498
00:19:03,597 --> 00:19:04,517
[kids cheering]
499
00:19:04,546 --> 00:19:06,903
♪ Stinky feet patrol!
500
00:19:07,135 --> 00:19:08,899
♪ Stinky feet patrol!
501
00:19:08,936 --> 00:19:11,538
[Yelling]
502
00:19:11,598 --> 00:19:13,238
This is so fun.
503
00:19:13,267 --> 00:19:16,231
I cannot believe this
only cost me 150 bucks.
504
00:19:17,789 --> 00:19:19,369
Oh, hey. How was your day?
505
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,043
[Sighs] It was okay.
506
00:19:21,316 --> 00:19:22,470
Now my legs really hurt.
507
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:25,268
It's like I have a tension
headache, but in my calves.
508
00:19:25,302 --> 00:19:27,210
A new surprise every day.
509
00:19:28,912 --> 00:19:30,005
That sucks.
510
00:19:30,025 --> 00:19:31,265
I know.
511
00:19:31,301 --> 00:19:32,808
And I'm so gassy.
512
00:19:32,829 --> 00:19:35,409
There's just been, like,
a long, slow fart stream
513
00:19:35,422 --> 00:19:37,696
coming out of me
since we started talking...
514
00:19:37,721 --> 00:19:38,929
this morning.
515
00:19:38,948 --> 00:19:40,218
That really sucks.
516
00:19:40,251 --> 00:19:42,376
Yeah. It does.
517
00:19:44,207 --> 00:19:45,336
Thanks.
518
00:19:47,004 --> 00:19:49,457
I'm sorry that I was trying
to fix all your problems.
519
00:19:49,473 --> 00:19:51,786
Oh, God, don't apologize.
520
00:19:52,049 --> 00:19:53,993
I'm sorry I was such a freak.
521
00:19:54,498 --> 00:19:58,698
You're the nicest, most thoughtful
baby daddy a girl could ask for.
522
00:20:00,670 --> 00:20:04,256
That was incredible. You are overflowing
with talent, and I admire you.
523
00:20:04,273 --> 00:20:05,391
- Oh.
- Excuse me.
524
00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:07,323
- Mr. Karate?
- Mr. Karate!
525
00:20:07,349 --> 00:20:10,722
My son wants you to sing at his
birthday party next weekend.
526
00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:12,327
- Are you available?
- He is,
527
00:20:12,350 --> 00:20:15,622
but it's actually $250
for short notice.
528
00:20:15,642 --> 00:20:18,235
You can call this number
and ask for April Karate.
529
00:20:18,248 --> 00:20:19,568
Yes, I will.
530
00:20:19,602 --> 00:20:21,015
- Babe...
- Oh, my God.
531
00:20:21,021 --> 00:20:22,402
That was amazing.
532
00:20:22,425 --> 00:20:24,932
I kind of think you can
make a career out of this.
533
00:20:25,334 --> 00:20:26,754
But, I mean, I don't know.
534
00:20:26,783 --> 00:20:29,405
W-what does that make
me-- a kids' performer?
535
00:20:29,411 --> 00:20:30,838
I'm supposed to
be a rock star.
536
00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:32,807
You just had fun in
there and made $150.
537
00:20:32,836 --> 00:20:34,847
Who cares about what you
were supposed to be?
538
00:20:35,078 --> 00:20:36,482
- Yeah.
- Plus, you have never been
539
00:20:36,488 --> 00:20:38,849
sexier to me than when you were
singing to those kids just now.
540
00:20:38,876 --> 00:20:39,842
- Really?
- Yeah.
541
00:20:39,876 --> 00:20:41,260
Well, that's weird.
542
00:20:41,565 --> 00:20:42,485
[Steel drums playing]
543
00:20:42,512 --> 00:20:45,915
Nolan, I'm very sorry that I
overreacted and overstepped my bounds.
544
00:20:45,949 --> 00:20:46,862
I understand.
545
00:20:46,896 --> 00:20:49,910
When I got into the chard game, I
knew I'd ruffle some feathers.
546
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:52,919
Sure. I'm just glad that we
could all come to an agreement.
547
00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:55,102
All right, everybody,
it is now 5:00 P.M.,
548
00:20:55,122 --> 00:20:57,482
which means the farmers
market is closed.
549
00:20:57,506 --> 00:21:02,193
And farmers market after
dark is open for business!
550
00:21:02,218 --> 00:21:05,187
[Sultry dance music]
551
00:21:05,228 --> 00:21:06,695
♪
552
00:21:06,957 --> 00:21:09,955
Well, if this is the way people want
to buy their produce, so be it.
553
00:21:10,065 --> 00:21:12,522
This town is full of lunatics.
554
00:21:12,748 --> 00:21:16,618
♪
555
00:21:16,679 --> 00:21:17,479
Both: Ugh!
556
00:21:17,514 --> 00:21:19,481
Oh, my God, this was
a terrible idea.
557
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:22,470
Yeah, it's like a tree
barfed in my mouth.
558
00:21:22,818 --> 00:21:23,571
Bleh.
559
00:21:23,604 --> 00:21:30,604
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther