1
00:00:02,198 --> 00:00:03,632
(upbeat march plays)
2
00:00:03,666 --> 00:00:06,334
♪ Good morning, USA!
3
00:00:06,369 --> 00:00:10,272
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
4
00:00:10,306 --> 00:00:13,241
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
5
00:00:13,276 --> 00:00:17,679
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
6
00:00:19,548 --> 00:00:22,951
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
7
00:00:22,985 --> 00:00:24,953
♪ Good...
♪ Good morning, USA
8
00:00:24,987 --> 00:00:30,992
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
web dl sync snarry
9
00:00:39,669 --> 00:00:41,369
You coming to bed, hon?
10
00:00:41,404 --> 00:00:42,804
Just finishing up my nightlies.
11
00:00:49,478 --> 00:00:50,812
Oh, honey.
12
00:00:50,846 --> 00:00:52,881
I wish you wouldn't shove a
retainer full of cake
13
00:00:52,915 --> 00:00:54,215
in your mouth every night.
14
00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:57,319
But then I wouldn't taste
sweet chocolate in my dreams.
15
00:00:57,353 --> 00:00:58,720
Plus, I don't want to change my routine
16
00:00:58,754 --> 00:01:00,021
before a big day like tomorrow.
17
00:01:00,056 --> 00:01:01,356
What's happening tomorrow?
18
00:01:01,390 --> 00:01:02,524
Ah, that's top secret.
19
00:01:02,558 --> 00:01:04,125
But I can give you a hint.
20
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:09,230
I'm "poisoning...
a Russian... assassin."
21
00:01:09,265 --> 00:01:10,765
Fine, don't tell me.
22
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:11,800
Well, good night.
23
00:01:13,035 --> 00:01:14,736
Stan, you forgot.
24
00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:16,471
It's Perfect Husband Time.
25
00:01:16,505 --> 00:01:18,340
Oh, right, the 20 seconds per month
26
00:01:18,374 --> 00:01:20,408
I allot to your concerns.
27
00:01:20,443 --> 00:01:21,710
Go!
(clock ticking)
28
00:01:21,744 --> 00:01:23,511
Okay, uh-uh-um...
I-I-I saw
29
00:01:23,546 --> 00:01:24,913
another stray dog today, Stan.
30
00:01:24,947 --> 00:01:26,348
I was wondering if we could adopt...
31
00:01:26,382 --> 00:01:28,149
Pass.
Okay, uh-uh-um...
32
00:01:28,184 --> 00:01:30,452
My parents asked if they could
see their children this year.
33
00:01:30,486 --> 00:01:31,619
Pass. Ten seconds down.
34
00:01:31,654 --> 00:01:33,188
I-I rented The Notebook.
35
00:01:33,222 --> 00:01:34,823
Can we please, please, please
Three, two, one.
36
00:01:34,857 --> 00:01:35,857
watch it tomorrow night?
37
00:01:35,891 --> 00:01:37,092
(buzz)
38
00:01:37,126 --> 00:01:39,094
(skeleton laughs)
39
00:01:39,128 --> 00:01:41,863
Oh... unfortunately
we've run out of time.
40
00:01:41,897 --> 00:01:43,732
But, you won't be
leaving empty-handed.
41
00:01:43,766 --> 00:01:46,534
All of our contestants
go home with a parting gift.
42
00:01:46,569 --> 00:01:47,569
Beep beep.
43
00:01:56,045 --> 00:01:57,812
Hey, brother, spare a quarter?
44
00:01:57,847 --> 00:02:00,582
"Spare" money, never understood that.
45
00:02:00,616 --> 00:02:02,283
Now, if you want to earn some money,
46
00:02:02,318 --> 00:02:04,285
I have noticed that my shoelace is untied.
47
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,821
So I'll offer you a nickel
to tie it for me.
48
00:02:13,596 --> 00:02:15,130
Here's a quarter.
Thanks.
49
00:02:15,164 --> 00:02:16,765
Whoa, whoa, whoa, I said a nickel.
50
00:02:16,799 --> 00:02:17,899
I got change coming.
51
00:02:17,933 --> 00:02:18,900
I don't have any.
52
00:02:18,934 --> 00:02:19,968
No change?!
53
00:02:20,002 --> 00:02:22,337
This is how you run a business?!
54
00:02:29,345 --> 00:02:32,781
Excuse me, where did you
get your shoelace tied?
55
00:02:32,815 --> 00:02:34,282
I do it myself, ma'am.
56
00:02:41,557 --> 00:02:43,925
Sugar?
(Russian accent): I don't drink sugar.
57
00:02:45,294 --> 00:02:46,761
Damn it!
58
00:02:49,598 --> 00:02:50,698
Whoo-hoo!
(all cheering)
59
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:52,734
Congratulations, Smith.
60
00:02:52,768 --> 00:02:54,002
Wait, what's going on?
61
00:02:57,173 --> 00:02:58,640
That was your 100th kill.
62
00:02:58,674 --> 00:02:59,674
(all applaud)
63
00:02:59,708 --> 00:03:01,042
Get out of town.
64
00:03:01,076 --> 00:03:02,911
We all wanted to be here for it.
65
00:03:02,945 --> 00:03:03,945
Well, thank you, sir.
66
00:03:03,979 --> 00:03:06,114
But I think I only have 99 kills.
67
00:03:06,148 --> 00:03:07,949
We're counting that agent who died
68
00:03:07,983 --> 00:03:10,118
when you refused to
give him some bone marrow.
69
00:03:10,152 --> 00:03:12,387
Even though you were a perfect match.
70
00:03:12,421 --> 00:03:14,155
Happy 100th, Stan.
71
00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:15,723
It's not my birthday, dumb-ass.
72
00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:16,958
No! I meant a hundred...
73
00:03:16,992 --> 00:03:17,959
And a hundred.
74
00:03:17,993 --> 00:03:19,127
I look 40, tops.
75
00:03:19,161 --> 00:03:20,228
You look a hundred.
76
00:03:20,262 --> 00:03:21,729
Do-do-doesn't
Dick look a hundred?
77
00:03:21,764 --> 00:03:23,832
You do look old, Dick.
78
00:03:28,537 --> 00:03:30,805
No retainer full of cake tonight, sweetie?
79
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,208
Time to leave that
boyish tradition behind.
80
00:03:33,242 --> 00:03:34,876
I've killed a hundred people.
81
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,277
I'm a man now.
82
00:03:36,312 --> 00:03:37,645
A hundred people?
83
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:39,981
Plus I had 11 pieces of cake at my party,
84
00:03:40,015 --> 00:03:42,484
and I threw up all over
the elevator buttons.
85
00:03:47,490 --> 00:03:49,491
Good morning, sweetie.
86
00:03:49,525 --> 00:03:50,492
What...?
87
00:03:50,526 --> 00:03:51,993
What are you smiling for?
88
00:03:52,027 --> 00:03:53,361
Why am I covered in cake?
89
00:03:53,395 --> 00:03:55,930
, hoy, you were so cute.
90
00:03:55,965 --> 00:03:57,465
You were sleepwalking.
91
00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:00,735
And I walked downstairs and got some cake?
92
00:04:00,769 --> 00:04:03,137
That's not all you did.
What?!
93
00:04:03,172 --> 00:04:06,140
You sat me down and insisted
we watch The Notebook.
94
00:04:06,175 --> 00:04:08,243
I did not watch The Notebook.
95
00:04:08,277 --> 00:04:10,345
Boy, did you cry when Noah bought
96
00:04:10,379 --> 00:04:12,046
the abandoned house on the lake.
97
00:04:12,081 --> 00:04:14,182
Only because it fulfilled
Allie's lifelong dream.
98
00:04:14,216 --> 00:04:16,017
Oh, my God, I watched The Notebook!
99
00:04:16,051 --> 00:04:18,052
(barks)
100
00:04:18,087 --> 00:04:19,254
What the hell is this?!
101
00:04:19,288 --> 00:04:20,522
That's Rashes.
102
00:04:20,556 --> 00:04:21,756
Our shelter dog.
103
00:04:21,790 --> 00:04:23,358
You adopted him last night.
104
00:04:23,392 --> 00:04:24,692
Why's he named Rashes?
105
00:04:24,727 --> 00:04:26,794
Ah! Oh, gross! Ah!
106
00:04:26,829 --> 00:04:28,029
(panting)
107
00:04:28,063 --> 00:04:29,330
Something terrible happened to me!
108
00:04:29,365 --> 00:04:30,765
I have to see Dr. Penguin!
109
00:04:30,799 --> 00:04:32,834
Which one do you think, Stan?
110
00:04:32,868 --> 00:04:34,369
I'm leaning towards lilac.
111
00:04:34,403 --> 00:04:36,437
Roger, I don't want
to talk to Madam Buttercup!
112
00:04:36,472 --> 00:04:38,673
Oh, that's a good name.
113
00:04:38,707 --> 00:04:40,308
Okay, okay. Go lie on the couch.
114
00:04:43,312 --> 00:04:44,979
Dr. Penguin, it's terrible.
115
00:04:45,014 --> 00:04:46,381
Last night, I was sleepwalking
116
00:04:46,415 --> 00:04:48,516
and I did all these horribly nice things.
117
00:04:48,551 --> 00:04:50,451
Nice things, eh?
118
00:04:50,486 --> 00:04:52,654
Seems like someone's
conscience is coming out.
119
00:04:52,688 --> 00:04:53,755
Of the closet?
120
00:04:53,789 --> 00:04:54,829
I don't have a conscience.
121
00:04:54,857 --> 00:04:55,890
Let alone a gay conscience.
122
00:04:55,925 --> 00:04:57,125
No conscience?
123
00:04:57,159 --> 00:04:59,961
Yeah. That's how
I'm so great at my job.
124
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:02,597
Hmm. Often when you sleepwalk,
125
00:05:02,631 --> 00:05:04,071
the part of you that you keep hidden
126
00:05:04,099 --> 00:05:05,800
finds its way to the surface.
127
00:05:05,834 --> 00:05:07,635
Did you rub poo on your shirt?
128
00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:09,203
What? God, no,
it's cake.
129
00:05:09,238 --> 00:05:10,305
Poo cake?
130
00:05:10,339 --> 00:05:12,106
I'm putting poo cake in your file.
131
00:05:12,141 --> 00:05:14,242
Wait, no. Is that
my permanent record?
132
00:05:14,276 --> 00:05:16,244
This is just a straw.
133
00:05:16,278 --> 00:05:18,246
Anyway, I usually do eat cake before bed,
134
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:19,681
but last night I didn't.
135
00:05:19,715 --> 00:05:22,517
And then you sleepwalked
to the kitchen and ate some.
136
00:05:22,551 --> 00:05:24,652
It's simple, you're a man of habit.
137
00:05:24,687 --> 00:05:26,621
Just go back to eating cake before bed
138
00:05:26,655 --> 00:05:28,022
and everything will go back to normal.
139
00:05:28,057 --> 00:05:29,524
Okay, that makes sense.
140
00:05:29,558 --> 00:05:30,758
There ya go.
141
00:05:30,793 --> 00:05:32,527
Well, we've got 40 minutes left.
142
00:05:32,561 --> 00:05:35,496
You want to hold my feet
while I try to do a sit-up?
143
00:05:37,466 --> 00:05:40,068
(grunting)
144
00:05:40,102 --> 00:05:42,170
Ah... forget it.
145
00:05:51,513 --> 00:05:53,214
Have you seen Rashes?
146
00:05:53,248 --> 00:05:54,916
Oh, I gave him to a family.
147
00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:57,251
Well, I-I guess you
could call them a family.
148
00:05:57,286 --> 00:05:59,387
There was a man, he was like the father.
149
00:05:59,421 --> 00:06:02,156
There was no mom and no kids,
but a couple other men.
150
00:06:02,191 --> 00:06:03,458
So, like four dads.
151
00:06:03,492 --> 00:06:05,860
And they all worked
at a Korean restaurant.
152
00:06:05,894 --> 00:06:07,161
(lamp switch clicks)
153
00:06:08,697 --> 00:06:10,732
Mmm. What a sleep.
154
00:06:10,766 --> 00:06:12,166
(yawns)
155
00:06:12,201 --> 00:06:14,669
Thank you, cake. Oh!
156
00:06:15,504 --> 00:06:16,904
Good, you're awake.
157
00:06:16,939 --> 00:06:19,007
Well, wait.
How did I get here?
158
00:06:19,041 --> 00:06:22,443
You came in the middle
of the night to answer our ad...
159
00:06:22,478 --> 00:06:24,045
and our prayers.
160
00:06:24,079 --> 00:06:25,146
Wait, ad for what?
161
00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:28,016
To be director of the orphanage!
162
00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:30,051
The orphans can't wait to meet you.
163
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,486
But I-I was sleepwalking.
164
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,022
I thought maybe you were.
165
00:06:34,056 --> 00:06:35,857
But you're also the only applicant
166
00:06:35,891 --> 00:06:37,012
who didn't play with himself
167
00:06:37,026 --> 00:06:39,560
while he examined the children's files.
168
00:06:41,430 --> 00:06:45,333
(children cheering)
169
00:06:46,765 --> 00:06:48,245
Well, I-I don't know
if I deserve this
170
00:06:48,270 --> 00:06:49,737
just for taking a job.
171
00:06:49,772 --> 00:06:52,840
Well... you did pay off
the loan on our bus.
172
00:06:52,875 --> 00:06:53,875
I what?!
173
00:06:55,911 --> 00:06:59,347
Huh, now, did I give you
any of my contact information?
174
00:06:59,381 --> 00:07:02,183
Like, like how to find me
if I were to suddenly disappear?
175
00:07:02,217 --> 00:07:03,418
Not yet.
176
00:07:03,452 --> 00:07:04,932
If you'd like to come to my office...
177
00:07:06,889 --> 00:07:07,855
(tires screeching)
178
00:07:07,890 --> 00:07:09,123
What is going on?!
179
00:07:09,158 --> 00:07:11,693
Why do you keep doing
nice things in your sleep?
180
00:07:11,727 --> 00:07:13,561
LITTLE GIRL:
Because you're a nice man.
181
00:07:15,431 --> 00:07:17,265
That's why you adopted me...
182
00:07:17,299 --> 00:07:18,466
Daddy.
183
00:07:23,806 --> 00:07:25,039
(horns honking)
184
00:07:25,074 --> 00:07:27,742
Oh, no, what have I done?!
185
00:07:27,776 --> 00:07:30,278
(horns honking)
186
00:07:30,312 --> 00:07:32,613
Oh, thank God. It turned green.
187
00:07:38,032 --> 00:07:39,866
Are you sure you need more coffee?
188
00:07:39,901 --> 00:07:41,435
You haven't slept in two days.
189
00:07:41,469 --> 00:07:42,469
I can't sleep.
190
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:44,237
Who knows what sleepwalking me will do.
191
00:07:44,272 --> 00:07:46,340
Probably something really nice.
192
00:07:46,374 --> 00:07:47,708
Hey, I'm nice, too.
193
00:07:47,742 --> 00:07:49,142
But in metered doses.
194
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,244
The sleepwalking
version of me is too nice.
195
00:07:51,279 --> 00:07:52,846
He's like Michael Keaton nice.
196
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,114
Michael Keaton?
197
00:07:54,148 --> 00:07:56,583
He didn't have to pose for that picture.
198
00:07:57,719 --> 00:07:59,886
Honey, you're all frazzled.
199
00:07:59,921 --> 00:08:01,922
You need some sleep.
200
00:08:01,956 --> 00:08:03,290
All right,
five-minute power nap.
201
00:08:03,324 --> 00:08:04,391
I'm setting an alarm,
202
00:08:04,425 --> 00:08:06,193
but don't let me sleep a minute longer.
203
00:08:06,227 --> 00:08:07,761
Got it.
204
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:13,333
(alarm beeping)
205
00:08:15,670 --> 00:08:17,871
(slurps loudly)
206
00:08:17,905 --> 00:08:20,640
"Dear Stan, I'll need
more than five minutes
207
00:08:20,675 --> 00:08:23,110
"to do all the good deeds I have planned.
208
00:08:23,144 --> 00:08:25,812
So I drugged your coffee.
Night, night."
209
00:08:25,847 --> 00:08:27,080
What the hell?!
210
00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:28,482
Sleeping pills?!
211
00:08:28,516 --> 00:08:29,616
Was I sleepwalking?!
212
00:08:29,650 --> 00:08:30,917
And did you let me put these pills
213
00:08:30,952 --> 00:08:31,985
in my own coffee?!
214
00:08:32,019 --> 00:08:32,986
And then let me drink it?!
215
00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:34,321
Yeah. It was exciting.
216
00:08:34,355 --> 00:08:35,555
What else do I have going on?
217
00:08:38,426 --> 00:08:41,361
(indistinct chatter)
218
00:08:42,997 --> 00:08:44,765
What do you call one of these places?
219
00:08:44,799 --> 00:08:46,199
Where we are now?
220
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,101
A home?
No kiddin'!
221
00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:49,336
After you went back to sleep,
222
00:08:49,370 --> 00:08:51,905
you opened a soup kitchen
in our living room.
223
00:08:51,939 --> 00:08:54,508
We fed 50 people today, Dad.
224
00:08:54,542 --> 00:08:56,743
Damn it.
Don't be so hard on yourself, Dad.
225
00:08:56,778 --> 00:08:58,712
Next time, we'll feed a hundred.
226
00:09:00,448 --> 00:09:02,149
Is anyone peeing here?
227
00:09:02,183 --> 00:09:03,550
Yes.
228
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:09,723
Smith, we've received word that
a Belgian terrorist is in town,
229
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,291
and I want you to kill him.
230
00:09:11,325 --> 00:09:12,292
(Stan snores)
231
00:09:12,326 --> 00:09:13,727
Smith, are you falling asleep?
232
00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:15,896
Ah, sorry sir, just a little tired.
233
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,164
Oh, not to worry.
234
00:09:17,198 --> 00:09:18,999
I've got some cocaine right here.
235
00:09:19,033 --> 00:09:21,234
But... i-isn't that illegal?
236
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:25,639
Ah... okay. You think
cocaine is a problem.
237
00:09:25,673 --> 00:09:28,275
But I've done it for 32 years.
238
00:09:28,309 --> 00:09:32,245
See, I'm part of a group of
responsible cocaine users.
239
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,148
We adhere to strict rules
to ensure things don't
240
00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:36,283
get out of control.
241
00:09:36,317 --> 00:09:37,350
Rules, sir?
242
00:09:37,385 --> 00:09:39,953
It's not used to feel good.
243
00:09:39,987 --> 00:09:42,189
Not for base pleasure, certainly.
244
00:09:42,223 --> 00:09:44,324
It's a medicine to improve our lives,
245
00:09:44,358 --> 00:09:46,693
like penicillin or opium.
246
00:09:46,727 --> 00:09:48,762
Uh, I-I think I'll just
get some shuteye.
247
00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:49,896
Of course, of course.
248
00:09:49,931 --> 00:09:52,165
Perhaps opium is more your speed.
249
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,502
See, I'm also part of a group
of responsible opium users.
250
00:09:55,536 --> 00:09:57,176
Actually, I'm just gonna go do my mission.
251
00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:58,572
More for me, then.
(laughs)
252
00:09:58,606 --> 00:10:00,941
Would you mind locking my door
on the way out?
253
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:02,209
Yes, sir.
254
00:10:07,114 --> 00:10:09,883
I can play the bass solo
to "My Generation."
255
00:10:09,917 --> 00:10:12,118
(rambling bass sounds):
Bum-didabum-dibum-dibum-bum-bum...
256
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,454
Bum-didabum-dibum-
dibum-bum-bum...
257
00:10:19,894 --> 00:10:21,995
Where are you off to, shiny briefcase?
258
00:10:22,029 --> 00:10:23,530
To kill another terrorist.
259
00:10:23,564 --> 00:10:26,633
Oh. There's something
you might want to see first.
260
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:30,203
So, your sleepwalking self
came to me earlier.
261
00:10:31,305 --> 00:10:33,273
Oh, hi, awake Stan.
262
00:10:33,307 --> 00:10:34,608
I didn't see you there.
263
00:10:34,642 --> 00:10:37,410
I was just reading my favorite
best seller, The Bible.
264
00:10:37,445 --> 00:10:39,513
We shot this in a home you built
265
00:10:39,547 --> 00:10:41,114
for Habitat for Humanity.
Shh.
266
00:10:41,148 --> 00:10:43,884
I thought it was about time
we had a little chat.
267
00:10:43,918 --> 00:10:46,019
You see, I'm your conscience.
268
00:10:46,053 --> 00:10:47,554
You killed a hundred people
269
00:10:47,588 --> 00:10:50,624
and I'm not letting you kill
anyone ever again.
270
00:10:50,658 --> 00:10:52,425
Plus, I'm gonna keep doing
everything I can
271
00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:54,461
to make up for what you've done.
272
00:10:54,495 --> 00:10:56,496
That's great.
You're really digging deep
273
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:57,631
and I'm proud of you.
274
00:10:57,665 --> 00:10:59,633
Now, there's just
the issue of your payment.
275
00:10:59,667 --> 00:11:01,234
(chuckling):
I'm sorry, I'm tapped out.
276
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,769
I keep giving away money.
277
00:11:02,803 --> 00:11:05,839
Well... I accept
several forms of payment.
278
00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,908
Whoa-ho! Don't need
to see that! (laughs)
279
00:11:07,942 --> 00:11:09,643
From here on out, it's just bookkeeping.
280
00:11:09,677 --> 00:11:12,178
This goody-goody
thinks he runs my life.
281
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,313
He can't stop me!
282
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,018
(TV clicks on)
283
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,386
STAN (over TV):
So... just like that?
284
00:11:19,420 --> 00:11:20,620
ROGER (over TV):
Mmm, higher.
285
00:11:20,655 --> 00:11:21,955
STAN: You turned the
camera off, right?
286
00:11:21,989 --> 00:11:23,223
ROGER:
Don't talk! Don't talk.
287
00:11:23,257 --> 00:11:25,325
♪
288
00:11:33,834 --> 00:11:36,903
(sighs) If I'm gonna pull
this off, I got to be sharp.
289
00:11:36,938 --> 00:11:39,005
So, just a little shuteye.
290
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,041
But I'll be damned
if I'm gonna let sleepwalking me
291
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,175
screw up my mission.
292
00:11:43,811 --> 00:11:44,844
(phone beeps)
293
00:11:44,879 --> 00:11:46,680
I left an envelope at the front desk.
294
00:11:46,714 --> 00:11:48,882
Have a bellboy bring it to me
in 25 minutes.
295
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:52,919
(beep)
296
00:12:00,962 --> 00:12:04,664
(alarm beeping)
297
00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:08,535
Just as I planned...
298
00:12:14,375 --> 00:12:16,743
Couldn't get the bed
through the door, huh?
299
00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:19,012
Sorry, buttmunch. I win.
300
00:12:20,014 --> 00:12:22,349
♪
301
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,757
(clicking)
302
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,726
What the hell?
303
00:12:38,332 --> 00:12:39,599
Gummy bears?!
304
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:41,067
He replaced my bullets
305
00:12:41,102 --> 00:12:43,236
with gummy bears from the minibar.
306
00:12:43,270 --> 00:12:44,971
That's gonna cost me seven dollars!
307
00:12:45,006 --> 00:12:46,539
Oh, he left money.
308
00:12:46,574 --> 00:12:47,907
Well, I can't be mad about...
309
00:12:47,942 --> 00:12:49,109
Wait, that's my money!
310
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,747
All right, this Belgian is not going to
311
00:12:53,781 --> 00:12:55,215
slip through our fingers again.
312
00:12:55,249 --> 00:12:58,985
We have intel that he's planning
an attack on the downtown IHOP.
313
00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:01,821
And this is a very important IHOP to me.
314
00:13:01,856 --> 00:13:04,090
It's where I saw the kid
from The Blind Side.
315
00:13:04,125 --> 00:13:06,626
Sir, sir! I know you're
assigning a wet team
316
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:07,861
to take out the Belgian terrorist.
317
00:13:07,895 --> 00:13:09,629
But I want to be the one to do it.
318
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:10,630
Forget it, Smith.
319
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,565
You had your chance and you blew it.
320
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,901
And you bought some
really expensive candy.
321
00:13:14,935 --> 00:13:15,935
But you don't understand!
322
00:13:15,936 --> 00:13:17,504
I have to do this!
323
00:13:17,538 --> 00:13:20,507
I have to prove to someone that
he can't stop me from killing.
324
00:13:20,541 --> 00:13:23,243
Who?
Well, it's... it's me.
325
00:13:23,277 --> 00:13:25,645
It's hard to explain,
but there's a part of me
326
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,480
that doesn't want me to kill anymore.
327
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,082
Is it the same part of you
328
00:13:29,116 --> 00:13:31,284
that forgot to pull up
his fly this morning?
329
00:13:31,318 --> 00:13:32,452
Uhp, sorry.
330
00:13:32,486 --> 00:13:34,387
Leave it, Smith.
331
00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:39,759
Yes... that's very nice.
332
00:13:39,794 --> 00:13:41,628
But this is very concerning.
333
00:13:41,662 --> 00:13:43,563
If you can't bring yourself to kill,
334
00:13:43,597 --> 00:13:46,332
then there's no longer
a place for you at the CIA.
335
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,333
I'm afraid you're fired.
336
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:48,201
Fired?!
337
00:13:48,235 --> 00:13:49,636
Yes. And from now on,
338
00:13:49,670 --> 00:13:51,237
if you see me on the street,
339
00:13:51,272 --> 00:13:54,274
understand that I'll have
to pretend I don't know you.
340
00:13:54,308 --> 00:13:56,309
It'll look something like this.
341
00:14:05,365 --> 00:14:06,927
I'm really up a creek,
Dr. Penguin.
342
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,101
Wait, hold that thought.
343
00:14:10,395 --> 00:14:11,695
Ah, I can never get this.
344
00:14:11,729 --> 00:14:13,564
Is it too cool in here?
I'm fine.
345
00:14:13,598 --> 00:14:16,133
But are you... are you close
to not being fine, maybe?
346
00:14:16,167 --> 00:14:17,167
Like, on the cool side?
347
00:14:17,202 --> 00:14:18,202
I'll turn it up.
(heater revs up)
348
00:14:18,236 --> 00:14:20,003
I got to get a digital one of these.
349
00:14:20,038 --> 00:14:21,805
I got to get in the 21st century.
350
00:14:21,839 --> 00:14:23,840
I got to join up.
351
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:28,045
I know I'm going to be
too warm in a minute.
352
00:14:28,079 --> 00:14:29,213
So, did you kill that terrorist?
353
00:14:29,247 --> 00:14:32,449
No. Sleepwalking Stan
got in the way.
354
00:14:32,483 --> 00:14:34,885
And now that I can't kill,
Bullock fired me.
355
00:14:34,919 --> 00:14:36,019
(sighs)
356
00:14:36,054 --> 00:14:38,555
Looks like my
goody two-shoes side won.
357
00:14:38,590 --> 00:14:40,424
Not necessarily.
358
00:14:40,458 --> 00:14:41,425
What do you mean?
359
00:14:41,459 --> 00:14:42,626
Well, your conscience says
360
00:14:42,660 --> 00:14:44,561
he's not going to let you kill again.
361
00:14:44,596 --> 00:14:46,597
So, all you have to do is kill someone
362
00:14:46,631 --> 00:14:48,832
and he'll realize you're
the one calling the shots
363
00:14:48,866 --> 00:14:50,701
and he'll have to leave you alone forever.
364
00:14:50,735 --> 00:14:52,436
But I can't kill that terrorist.
365
00:14:52,470 --> 00:14:53,737
I'm not in the CIA anymore.
366
00:14:53,771 --> 00:14:55,005
Forget the terrorist.
367
00:14:55,039 --> 00:14:57,641
You just have to find
any bad guy and kill him.
368
00:14:57,675 --> 00:14:59,115
Then you'll be back to your old self
369
00:14:59,143 --> 00:15:00,244
and you can get your job back.
370
00:15:00,278 --> 00:15:02,379
I suppose, but who can I kill?
371
00:15:02,413 --> 00:15:04,748
Well, just off the top of my head,
372
00:15:04,782 --> 00:15:06,250
Jeff Watley.
Who's that?
373
00:15:06,284 --> 00:15:07,251
Real bad guy.
374
00:15:07,285 --> 00:15:08,385
Worst of the worst.
375
00:15:08,419 --> 00:15:09,419
Just awful.
376
00:15:09,454 --> 00:15:10,520
Come on, I'll explain on the way.
377
00:15:10,555 --> 00:15:12,756
This Watley's a real sicko.
378
00:15:12,790 --> 00:15:15,626
Got nabbed for sex trafficking
in Lower Manhattan
379
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:16,660
right after 9/11.
380
00:15:16,694 --> 00:15:18,295
He was running a kiddie porn ring,
381
00:15:18,329 --> 00:15:20,430
but before the Feds
could drop the net on him,
382
00:15:20,465 --> 00:15:22,432
he moved the whole
operation to Nova Scotia,
383
00:15:22,467 --> 00:15:24,167
where it's nice and legal.
384
00:15:24,202 --> 00:15:25,669
So, he's got it coming.
385
00:15:25,703 --> 00:15:27,104
Oh, it doesn't stop there.
386
00:15:27,138 --> 00:15:30,007
Guy starts moving drugs
between Nogales and Tucson.
387
00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:31,942
This case actually goes to trial,
388
00:15:31,976 --> 00:15:34,077
but Benton was on the bench, so...
389
00:15:34,112 --> 00:15:35,233
(chuckling):
need I say more?
390
00:15:35,246 --> 00:15:36,747
Only if you want me to understand.
391
00:15:40,018 --> 00:15:41,718
Okay. With this guy,
you're going to want
392
00:15:41,753 --> 00:15:43,854
to shoot him in the face
and ask questions later.
393
00:15:43,888 --> 00:15:45,389
Very bad person.
394
00:15:46,491 --> 00:15:47,724
All right, we're here.
395
00:15:48,793 --> 00:15:50,027
Take whatever you want!
396
00:15:50,061 --> 00:15:51,228
Please don't hurt me!
397
00:15:51,262 --> 00:15:53,764
It's payback time, you son of a bitch!
398
00:15:53,798 --> 00:15:55,065
What?!
399
00:15:55,099 --> 00:15:56,600
Hey... I remember you.
400
00:15:56,634 --> 00:15:58,635
You're that guy who freaked out when I got
401
00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:00,671
the last pretzel at Wetzel's,
like, two weeks ago.
402
00:16:00,705 --> 00:16:02,039
What are you
waiting for?! Kill him!
403
00:16:02,073 --> 00:16:03,840
Pretzel?
404
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:05,876
What about all that horrible
stuff you said he did?
405
00:16:05,910 --> 00:16:06,943
I was lying.
406
00:16:06,978 --> 00:16:08,211
But it doesn't change the fact
407
00:16:08,246 --> 00:16:09,479
that once you kill this guy
408
00:16:09,514 --> 00:16:11,148
you'll be free of your conscience.
409
00:16:11,182 --> 00:16:12,616
And I'll have my vengeance.
410
00:16:12,650 --> 00:16:14,751
No, Roger, it doesn't work like that.
411
00:16:14,786 --> 00:16:17,487
I only kill to protect my
country and people I love.
412
00:16:17,522 --> 00:16:19,856
I only kill because I have to.
413
00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:21,224
Wait a minute.
414
00:16:21,259 --> 00:16:23,727
What if sleepwalking me had to kill?
415
00:16:25,630 --> 00:16:26,930
What are you talking about?
416
00:16:26,964 --> 00:16:29,433
Well, the terrorist is
planning to blow up an IHOP.
417
00:16:29,467 --> 00:16:33,070
So, I just need to put everyone
sleepwalking Stan loves
418
00:16:33,104 --> 00:16:36,473
into that IHOP, fall asleep,
and make sleepwalking Stan
419
00:16:36,507 --> 00:16:38,342
kill the terrorist himself.
420
00:16:38,376 --> 00:16:39,443
If he refuses,
421
00:16:39,477 --> 00:16:41,244
he'll have to see everyone he loves
422
00:16:41,279 --> 00:16:42,913
get blown to pieces.
423
00:16:42,947 --> 00:16:44,614
Seems like a perfect plan to me.
424
00:16:44,649 --> 00:16:46,350
But then again, I've only had
three hours of sleep
425
00:16:46,384 --> 00:16:47,684
in the last week and a half.
426
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:50,721
I even offered you the pretzel!
427
00:16:50,755 --> 00:16:52,456
Yeah, after you drowned it in mustard!
428
00:16:52,490 --> 00:16:53,724
This isn't over, Watley!
429
00:16:55,326 --> 00:16:57,961
♪
430
00:17:07,739 --> 00:17:10,040
♪
431
00:17:21,919 --> 00:17:23,920
♪
432
00:17:33,865 --> 00:17:35,399
Come on, guys, it's time to eat.
433
00:17:37,268 --> 00:17:38,835
(car engine revving)
434
00:17:51,149 --> 00:17:53,049
There you are, Stan.
435
00:17:53,084 --> 00:17:55,485
Why did you want us
to meet you at an IHOP?
436
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:56,987
Oh, good, you came.
437
00:17:57,021 --> 00:17:58,789
There's no way he'll let you guys die.
438
00:17:58,823 --> 00:18:00,123
Um... what?
439
00:18:00,158 --> 00:18:01,925
Just sit tight, you're going to love this.
440
00:18:01,959 --> 00:18:03,994
(doorbell rings)
441
00:18:04,028 --> 00:18:06,163
(Belgian accent):
This IHOP has desecrated
442
00:18:06,197 --> 00:18:07,364
the Belgian waffle
443
00:18:07,398 --> 00:18:09,099
for the last time!
444
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:12,235
What you call the
"Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity"
445
00:18:12,270 --> 00:18:15,205
I call spitting in the face
of my countrymen!
446
00:18:15,239 --> 00:18:16,907
But that's served with pancakes.
447
00:18:16,941 --> 00:18:18,675
Shut up, pig dog!
448
00:18:18,709 --> 00:18:19,709
♪
449
00:18:19,744 --> 00:18:21,545
(all gasp)
450
00:18:21,579 --> 00:18:23,013
Oh, no!
451
00:18:23,047 --> 00:18:24,347
Save us, Stan!
452
00:18:24,382 --> 00:18:25,682
You got it, babe.
453
00:18:25,716 --> 00:18:26,683
Good night.
454
00:18:26,717 --> 00:18:28,318
(snoring)
455
00:18:30,054 --> 00:18:32,422
Ah, oh, what's going on?
456
00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:39,696
Oh, I'm at IHOP with everyone I love!
457
00:18:39,730 --> 00:18:41,231
What a perfect Sunday.
458
00:18:41,265 --> 00:18:44,067
Dad, that crazy French guy
is going to kill us all!
459
00:18:44,101 --> 00:18:45,368
Y-You got to stop him!
460
00:18:48,539 --> 00:18:50,607
But that's not me.
461
00:18:50,641 --> 00:18:51,741
I can't kill anyone.
462
00:18:51,776 --> 00:18:52,909
You have to, Dad!
463
00:18:52,944 --> 00:18:54,444
You have to save us!
464
00:18:54,479 --> 00:18:55,979
But I... I can't.
465
00:18:56,013 --> 00:18:57,948
It's... it's wrong.
466
00:18:57,982 --> 00:19:00,650
Not when you're protecting
your loved ones.
467
00:19:00,685 --> 00:19:02,252
For Belgium!
468
00:19:03,554 --> 00:19:04,621
♪
469
00:19:18,402 --> 00:19:19,536
(moans in pain)
470
00:19:19,570 --> 00:19:21,805
Oh, good, I didn't have to kill him.
471
00:19:22,974 --> 00:19:24,541
Mister, no!
What are you doing?!
472
00:19:26,978 --> 00:19:29,079
Please, don't make me do it!
473
00:19:29,113 --> 00:19:31,381
(all gasp twice)
474
00:19:31,415 --> 00:19:33,383
Come on, now. I'm-I'm
giving you a chance here.
475
00:19:35,820 --> 00:19:37,320
This is terrible.
476
00:19:37,355 --> 00:19:39,422
You're hurting us both, almost equally.
477
00:19:39,457 --> 00:19:40,757
Nobody's winning here.
478
00:19:40,791 --> 00:19:41,958
This is awful.
479
00:19:41,993 --> 00:19:43,593
Oh, man, he's still reaching!
480
00:19:43,628 --> 00:19:44,828
Aw, gee whiz.
481
00:19:46,130 --> 00:19:48,231
Oh, God! Oh, God!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
482
00:19:48,266 --> 00:19:51,001
Oh, God!
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
483
00:19:51,035 --> 00:19:53,403
(sighs) It's over.
484
00:19:54,972 --> 00:19:56,806
I won't have what he's having.
485
00:20:01,879 --> 00:20:04,247
Yes, sir. Thank you.
486
00:20:04,282 --> 00:20:05,415
Well, that was Bullock.
487
00:20:05,449 --> 00:20:07,884
He was calling me
to offer my job back and...
488
00:20:07,919 --> 00:20:09,519
two pounds of mushrooms.
489
00:20:09,554 --> 00:20:11,121
That's great, honey!
490
00:20:11,155 --> 00:20:12,989
And I hope you said yes to both.
491
00:20:13,024 --> 00:20:13,990
Sleep well.
492
00:20:14,025 --> 00:20:15,425
Oh, I will.
493
00:20:15,459 --> 00:20:18,795
I don't think my conscience is
going to bother me anymore.
494
00:20:18,829 --> 00:20:20,564
Good night.
495
00:20:20,598 --> 00:20:22,599
♪
496
00:20:23,935 --> 00:20:25,969
(eagle screeches)
497
00:20:26,003 --> 00:20:27,304
(horse sputters)
498
00:20:28,306 --> 00:20:30,440
♪
499
00:20:33,311 --> 00:20:34,578
What are you doing here?
500
00:20:34,612 --> 00:20:36,012
I thought I got rid of you.
501
00:20:36,047 --> 00:20:37,013
Oh, no.
502
00:20:37,048 --> 00:20:38,448
You got me to kill a man.
503
00:20:38,482 --> 00:20:39,916
And now I understand
504
00:20:39,951 --> 00:20:42,519
that the world's not as
black-and-white as I thought.
505
00:20:42,553 --> 00:20:44,054
It's gray.
506
00:20:44,088 --> 00:20:46,923
That's why it takes two of us
to ride through this world.
507
00:20:46,958 --> 00:20:48,758
So... we're partners?
508
00:20:48,793 --> 00:20:50,226
Till the bitter end.
509
00:20:50,261 --> 00:20:51,494
All right, then, friend.
510
00:20:51,529 --> 00:20:53,129
Put 'er there!
511
00:20:54,652 --> 00:20:56,586
Hyah!
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
512
00:20:56,620 --> 00:20:58,354
Oh, God! Oh, God!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
513
00:20:58,389 --> 00:21:08,114
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
web dl sync snarry