1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,548
Ruined. Completely...
2
00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:06,757
Mother, come on,
we're not...
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,183
Shut up. And utterly...
4
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,101
We're not...
Shut up. And ruined!
5
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,100
We're not "ruined," Camille.
6
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:14,181
We've got 2,000
pounds of cocaine.
7
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:17,017
Minus the 20 kilos you
sold for Monopoly money,
8
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:20,274
oh, minus however much
Pam ate, probably two kilos.
9
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:21,984
Or three, or whatever.
10
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,532
Quit eating all
the goddamn cocaine!
11
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:24,608
Make me!
12
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:30,531
My point,
unless Pam ate it,
13
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,207
is that things
could be a lot worse.
14
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:34,785
How? You sold a million
dollars of product
15
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,791
for this worthless
stack of paper.
16
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,793
How could it be
any worse?
17
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:45,303
I hate to agree with Archer,
but it could be worse,
18
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,926
these are actually
really good fakes.
19
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:49,133
I mean, not good enough
to deposit in a bank, but...
20
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:52,186
Good enough to
pass in, say, a deli?
21
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:54,104
Yeah, I guess, but...
Shut up.
22
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,227
So you take a hundred,
go buy a pack of gum,
23
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:58,559
and walk out with
$99.50 in change.
24
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,440
Hey, that's
brilliant, Archer.
25
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:01,691
Yeah, plus gum?
26
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:04,489
So you're gonna do
that 10,000 times?
27
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:06,400
Well, not me personally.
28
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,327
Not anyone personally,
it's idiotic.
29
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,373
What we need is
a big-ticket item.
30
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,832
Like a big bag of cocaine!
31
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,456
The last thing we need
is more cocaine.
32
00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:17,536
Disagree.
33
00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:19,292
Because you are
addicted to cocaine!
34
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,418
Your words.
35
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,795
Hey, wait a second. I've got
the perfect big-ticket item.
36
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:23,875
Cadillacs!
37
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,461
- Nope.
- Let me finish.
38
00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:29,424
Oh, I'm sorry, please, skip ahead to
the part where I'm out 50 Caddies
39
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,258
with your counterfeit money
in the one hand
40
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:32,934
and my schlong in the other.
41
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,683
Well, not now.
You ruined it.
42
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,229
The mental image alone.
43
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:39,809
And besides, what were you
planning to do with 50 Cadillacs?
44
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,359
Um... Open a dealership?
45
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,771
What? Ron's done very well.
46
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:45,982
Speaking of,
why aren't you at work?
47
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:49,113
Everything's on autopilot.
There's nothing for me to do.
48
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:50,159
I am so bored.
49
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:51,578
Have you tried cocaine?
50
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,577
No, no, no. Smoked a
reefer cigarette once.
51
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,875
Oh, let me guess,
with some Negroes?
52
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,918
As luck would have it.
What about guns?
53
00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:01,838
No, no, they seemed
nice, jazz cats.
54
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,170
No, why don't we buy guns?
55
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:05,842
I mean,
I assume rival drug dealers
56
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,590
aren't gonna be
too happy with us...
57
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,297
And since the FBI seized
all the ISIS weapons
58
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:11,597
when they took
the building.
59
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:15,348
Oh, my God. All we have now is my
Walther and what, Lana, your TEC-9's?
60
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:18,188
Yeah, for which I have no ammo.
What?
61
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,311
I used to get it
from work.
62
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,650
Okay, if we're
doing a list?
63
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:23,978
Bullets.
Oh, for...
64
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,655
Sterling, Lana, go through
the old ISIS files
65
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,152
and find an arms dealer.
66
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:31,735
Cyril, go lock up the product
before Cokie Monster here
67
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,991
gobbles it all up,
and Ron, take me to lunch.
68
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,368
It's 8:30 in the morning.
69
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,074
A bar, then! Whatever!
70
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,000
Ooh! Or maybe a jazz club.
71
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:42,455
We can smoke reefers with these Negroes
you're suddenly so nuts about.
72
00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:44,380
It was 1940!
73
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:47,380
And where am I supposed to lock
up 2,000 pounds of cocaine?
74
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:48,551
Cyril, look around.
75
00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:49,799
Somewhere in this mansion,
76
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:53,849
I have to assume, is a gigantic,
Scrooge McDuckian vault.
77
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,515
Scrooge McDuck, eh?
78
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,607
Sweater.
79
00:03:10,686 --> 00:03:20,688
Ripped By mstoll
Happy New Year 2015 - New Year, New Color ;-)
80
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,610
All right.
Where are we?
81
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,986
Lana, did you find
an arms dealer?
82
00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:53,242
Hmm. No, all we've got so far is
Spirodon Skorpio and Conway Stern.
83
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,738
Jeez, those are old files.
84
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,240
One of whom we blew up,
85
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,572
the other of whom's hand
we gruesomely ripped off.
86
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,908
And both of whom
bring up extremely
87
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:03,210
uncomfortable
sexual memories for,
88
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:06,004
40% to 60% of
the people in this room.
89
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,424
Oh! What about Ray's
brother, the pot farmer?
90
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:10,591
He had lots of guns.
91
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,761
Yeah, he's doing
life in prison.
92
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:16,094
Now,
that's the song you should write.
93
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,888
Ugh! Or maybe one about
a crippled cyborg,
94
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:22,688
who all he did was pussy-ache
about being a crippled cyborg!
95
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,057
Well, keep looking.
96
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:28,610
And, Cyril, you've got the
product under lock and key?
97
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,403
Yeah, in the kitchen pantry.
98
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,568
There's no Scrooge McDuck-y vault.
No what?
99
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,866
Uh, how about
an old-timey gymnasium
100
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,069
full of Indian clubs
and medicine balls?
101
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:38,863
Hello?
102
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,997
I've finished!
103
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,289
There is one of those.
104
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:45,460
Oh, and it was a good idea to lock
up all the counterfeit money.
105
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,128
Yeah, good job,
whoever did that.
106
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,626
Wait, did you not?
107
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,002
No, I...
What?
108
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:51,458
Well, where the hell is it?
109
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:52,542
Well...
110
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,087
I've got good news
and good news.
111
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:57,305
Amphetamines?
112
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,381
Right?
113
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,810
And I know it sounds crazy, but
I like them as much as cocaine.
114
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,979
Where did you get them?
115
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,180
Okay, okay, okay.
116
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:07,482
So remember how I used to
drift-race with the Yakuza?
117
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:08,604
The Yakuza?
118
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,648
What,
were the Hells Angels busy?
119
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,071
Busy being pussies.
120
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:14,815
You know, relatively.
121
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:17,071
When compared to the deadly
and terrible Yakuza.
122
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,868
Yeah, and on
a related note, Pam,
123
00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:19,991
what do you
think's gonna happen
124
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,993
when they realize
the money is counterfeit?
125
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:25,576
Oh, my God, right?
Can you imagine?
126
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:26,956
Yes, Pam, we can.
127
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,333
Oh, my God, they chop
off their own fingers.
128
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:31,790
Do they know
how to find you?
129
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,087
Uh...
130
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:36,170
Well, they know
I work at ISIS,
131
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:38,680
but that won't
do them any good.
132
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,847
Well, thank...
133
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,049
Although...
134
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,262
Domo arigato, fellas.
135
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,814
Two of them have
been to my apartment.
136
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,233
You, too, Ojiisan.
137
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,436
Or three, or whatever.
138
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,192
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Can the mind vomit?
139
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,365
But now
I live here, so...
140
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:57,531
Well, thank God, the...
141
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,109
Although...
142
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:01,824
Hmm?
143
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,240
Hmm. Hmm-hmm.
144
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:06,658
Hmm.
145
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:07,955
Mmm-hmm.
146
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,597
Ugh, yes, the mind
can, in fact, vomit.
147
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,401
I'm not here.
148
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:46,998
Oh, dear God.
149
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,952
Telephone clanging away,
and me trapped.
150
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,754
It's a good servant's
worst nightmare.
151
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:55,878
I don't know how this
could possibly be any...
152
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:02,260
Hey, so,
did somebody order Chinese?
153
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,262
They're Japanese, you idiot!
154
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:07,010
Oh, for... I
don't get all pissy every time
155
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,095
you mistake
a Dutchman for a Swede!
156
00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,064
Either time
that happened!
157
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,150
Answer the
goddamn telephone!
158
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,772
Now, there's your song!
159
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:16,819
No!
160
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,613
Answer it!
Make me!
161
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,107
I will
break both of your collarbones,
162
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:22,317
and then pull them
out of your body...
163
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,160
Holy shitsnacks. ...and
then use them to play,
164
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:27,956
in its entirety and on
your head, Moby Dick.
165
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,999
- Bonham's a pussy.
- Maybe you pussy!
166
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,201
Pam?
167
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,333
Hello?
168
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,211
It's Mr. Moto!
169
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,261
I am very ashamed.
170
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:44,548
Your new home
is so beautiful,
171
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,976
but I did not bring
a housewarming gift.
172
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,303
Hey, you know what?
173
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,559
Don't even sweat it,
because... Hmm?
174
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:57,481
Okay, bye.
175
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,028
Wait, didn't you
shoot that guy?
176
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:01,778
Oh, who remembers?
Well, what did he say?
177
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,944
Well, he's not happy,
obviously, and he wants his drugs back,
178
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:07,574
and that guy
who sold them to me
179
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,907
is not gonna be playing
the violin any time soon.
180
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,123
Because?
181
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:14,829
Because a violin would probably
dissolve in the same big drum of acid
182
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:17,005
- they dissolved that guy in.
- Ew!
183
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,753
But if all Moto wants
is his drugs...
184
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,334
Then he can
give us a refund.
185
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,920
Of worthless
counterfeit money?
186
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,676
It's not
exactly worthless.
187
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,758
The right buyer would probably pay
about 15 cents on the dollar for it.
188
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,219
What? Why didn't
you say that?
189
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,395
Uh, I don't know.
I assumed you knew.
190
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,143
Everybody knows that.
191
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,940
Ron?
I say screw the money.
192
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,563
Let's just give
Moto his drugs
193
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,521
and be glad we dodged this
giant metaphorical bullet.
194
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,901
Hey, and where are we
on that list?
195
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,065
Malory?
196
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:46,026
Oh, all right!
197
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:48,111
We obviously can't
go to war with the Yakuza.
198
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,698
Uh, not without normal-size,
non-metaphorical bullets.
199
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,579
But, Pam,
if there ever are any,
200
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:56,582
this comes out of
your share of the profits.
201
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,673
How is that not fair?
202
00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:04,720
Moto doesn't
just want the pills!
203
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:09,383
He also wants my head!
204
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,768
Non-metaph...
205
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,973
...phorically speaking, Pam,
we got it.
206
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,433
Wait, he's still
gonna kill you?
207
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,438
Even if you give
back the pills?
208
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:20,609
Yes!
209
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:21,982
Oh. Hey, hey.
210
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,066
Shh. Come on. We're not gonna
let the Yakuza kill you.
211
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:26,525
Although...
212
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:31,913
Christ on drums, people!
What?
213
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,616
Pam screwed the Yakuza out of a
million bucks of amphetamines,
214
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,167
so now they're gonna
cut her head off.
215
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,040
Wait, since breakfast?
216
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,746
You had breakfast here?
Ron!
217
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:42,878
And apparently, they've got your
house completely surrounded, so...
218
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,584
So call the police.
219
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,258
Ooh! Good idea,
and when they get here,
220
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:48,964
we can show them
the drugs we bought
221
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,926
with the counterfeit money
we got from selling cocaine.
222
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,601
Oh, and by the way, Officer,
223
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,895
there's another 2,000
pounds of it in the pantry!
224
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,267
So, then pay them!
225
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,644
With what?
226
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:02,603
$1 million!
Yes, real dollars. Duh.
227
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,147
Look at my house.
I bet I got rugs worth a...
228
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:09,318
Fine, $2 million.
Okay, $5 million.
229
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:12,871
Fine, $10 million!
$50 million!
230
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,749
A jillion million!
231
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:18,623
Jesus! Be more gross
and Chinese-y!
232
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:24,257
Been waiting
forever to use that.
233
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,376
Why did you insult him?
234
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:28,841
A, "Chinese-y" is
not an insult.
235
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:29,967
No.
No, it totally is.
236
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,639
Not to a Chinaman.
And B,
237
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,432
which is, like,
so un-Chinese-y,
238
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:35,101
he doesn't even
care about money.
239
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:38,976
He said it's a debt of honor, and it
can only be paid with Pam's blood.
240
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:42,355
And since I can't write
a genre-defining country song
241
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,354
with you people screaming about a
horde of Chinese daylight vampires,
242
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:48,440
who are probably scuttling up the
drain pipes even as we speak,
243
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:50,070
go out there and kill them!
244
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,235
Don't even get me
started on that.
245
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,862
How about get
started on that list?
246
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,198
I'm not your
secretary, Lana!
247
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:58,625
We don't really
have weapons or ammo.
248
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,247
You're shitting me.
249
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,953
No.
250
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:05,544
Whoa!
I stand extremely corrected.
251
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,250
Yeah, and they're
all loaded.
252
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,755
This was the best
house to be a kid in.
253
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:12,510
Mmm, yeah, and so...
Anything post-World War I?
254
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,512
I don't know. I think
Grandpapa lost interest
255
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:17,720
once he filled the Museum of
Natural History with dead animals.
256
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:19,475
Then he got real big
into model trains,
257
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:22,933
and then it was a sort of very
long, sad slide into dementia,
258
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,563
and ultimately, into death.
259
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:25,894
And the whole time
260
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:28,480
he was screwing the asses off
all the colored maids.
261
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,737
No, that's
a terrible country song.
262
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:34,365
Here's your
country song right here!
263
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,698
Have you ever
heard a country song?
264
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:40,954
Um, Danger Zone?
265
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,706
Okay, listen up, there are way too
many windows and doors to cover,
266
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,961
so we need to concentrate
on chokepoints.
267
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,961
Not that kind
of chokepoints.
268
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,888
Chokepoints as in junctions,
like the main foyer,
269
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,057
the kitchen, the top of
the grand staircase, the...
270
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,600
What are you doing? Here.
271
00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:58,722
Nope.
272
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,394
What do you mean, "nope"?
Take it!
273
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:04,475
Woman, I am not getting in a
shootout with the goddamn Yakuza
274
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,561
because you people decided
to steal their drugs!
275
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,942
Well, I support you
in your work!
276
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,398
Not that you
ever do any, but...
277
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,154
If you were
honest with yourself,
278
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,828
you would realize I have been
incredibly supportive of you!
279
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,247
Get arrested for treason,
I stand by you,
280
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:21,666
become a drug dealer,
I stand by you.
281
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:27,373
And you don't seem to mind driving
around in a new Cadillac, do you?
282
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:28,756
A floor model.
Oh, for...
283
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,426
Sterling?
What in the...
284
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,720
...hell does he
think he is doing?
285
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:36,048
Going Josh Randall
on these dicks!
286
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,641
Cheryl, build a fire and get some
pokers hot!
287
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,138
Yeah, great,
start shooting.
288
00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:42,391
I can't wait to meet
every cop in Manhattan.
289
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:43,604
Right, damn.
290
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,058
Hey, Carol, you got any
old-timey silencers?
291
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:49,314
Silence, yes, aspire to that
while I think of a plan.
292
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,862
Okay, Cheryl...
293
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,029
God damn it, Archer!
294
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,199
I didn't do it!
I was just...
295
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,618
What... Ron?
296
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,200
Ron!
297
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:03,249
Talk about a floor model.
298
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,581
Oh, come on,
we were all thinking it.
299
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:06,707
Get down!
300
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,838
Tadashi,
what is wrong with you?
301
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,549
You shoot like
an old blind woman!
302
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:17,009
You bring shame
on your family!
303
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,645
Oh, my God,
the darkness, babe,
304
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:32,900
I'm slipping
into the darkness!
305
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,947
They're just
pulling the drapes!
306
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,987
Still, though... Ah!
307
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,989
And what is this?
An ocelot pelt?
308
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,160
Wait, what?
309
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,362
It was all I could find!
310
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,244
Oh, my God,
if that's Babou...
311
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,325
Ugh, I wish.
He's around here somewhere,
312
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,957
either puking or pissing
on something I care about.
313
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,334
Hey, so,
Ron's gonna die?
314
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,881
Wait, Ron's gonna die?
315
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,549
Oh, the darkness!
316
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,342
Especially if he
goes into shock,
317
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,216
which is why
I'm speaking quietly.
318
00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:58,296
Smart.
319
00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,380
We have to get him
to a hospital,
320
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,216
so are you sure
there's no other way
321
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:02,972
out of here
besides the front door?
322
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,678
Like, maybe
a helicopter pad, or...
323
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:07,605
The only thing I can think of
is all the secret tunnels.
324
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:10,308
I'm sorry?
325
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,392
Yeah, they go everywhere.
326
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:14,821
My... I want to say my
great-great-great-uncle?
327
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,194
He built them trying to tap
into the Underground Railroad.
328
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,275
Wait, did he think
it was literally...
329
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,361
A subterranean railroad,
yeah, so...
330
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,367
So why'd he build
a bunch of tunnels?
331
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:26,871
To capture runaway slaves and sell
them back to their rightful owners.
332
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:28,785
Wow.
333
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,541
Ugh! Whatever! Can we...
334
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:33,794
I want to say his plan was
to dress like a ghost?
335
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:37,677
Can we get Ron
to a hospital?
336
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,171
Oh, totally.
337
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,172
And then this one here
338
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:44,384
goes all the way up
to Lenox Hill Hospital.
339
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:45,719
Jesus, that's like a mile!
340
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,351
Yeah, you don't want
to walk that.
341
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:51,729
So I'd come up around
here and get a cab.
342
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,230
That'll be way quicker.
343
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,902
Plus, I bet there's
mole people.
344
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,230
I think her point was,
with all this,
345
00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:01,034
your great-whatever uncle must have
really wanted to catch some slaves.
346
00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:05,785
Oh, it bankrupted him, and the crazy
part, is this was, like, 1890.
347
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,457
Will you hurry up?
We're losing him.
348
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,660
Ron, shut up!
349
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,046
Okay, Carol, you know the
tunnels, you lead the group.
350
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,919
Cyril and Pam,
you carry Ron.
351
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,791
Lana... Why do I
have to carry him?
352
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:20,128
Because remember before when this
whole goddamn thing was your fault?
353
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,258
Just asking.
354
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,716
Lana and Mother, you should go with
them, because my plan may not work.
355
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:25,800
What plan?
356
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,476
Okay, this tunnel here
tees into
357
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,725
a utility tunnel
right in front of the house.
358
00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:30,896
So...
359
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,600
Sol need my slightly
darker, black, black suit.
360
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,026
Woodhouse!
361
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,687
God damn it,
where the hell is he?
362
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:42,442
Slowly dying,
for all anyone cares.
363
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:46,408
But the saddest part is
no one does.
364
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,661
Oh, who cares?
365
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,375
Quit your literal bellyaching.
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
366
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,498
Yeah, I'm staying.
367
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,295
Because if your plan
is what I think it is,
368
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,122
you are totally
gonna need rescuing.
369
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,958
No, I'm not, Lana,
so shut your dicktrap.
370
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:03,550
But if I do, I apologize
for that remark,
371
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,307
and ask that you
definitely do rescue me.
372
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,384
Or avenge me
as appropriate.
373
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,516
That's it, I'm staying, too.
What?
374
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,063
You're picking him over me?
375
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:15,608
Oh, for... it's not a competition, Ron!
He's my child.
376
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:18,148
But seriously?
A floor model?
377
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:21,569
Ah... What are you people, hourly?
Let's go here.
378
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:27,070
Are you laughing
at "dicktrap"?
379
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:30,957
But seriously, though,
if it comes down to it,
380
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,158
please do rescue me.
381
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,242
Okay!
382
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,291
Sorry! I'm walking
backwards here.
383
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,751
God, you're killing me here
is what you're doing.
384
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,503
Just try to stay calm.
385
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,209
Yeah, chill out.
386
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:44,171
Ray got shot in the stomach
and he's, like, totally fine.
387
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,269
Here we go, stepping it up!
Hey!
388
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:55,181
Jesus, Ron, man up.
I've been shot...
389
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,771
Holy shit, 26 times?
390
00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,359
Can't be good for me.
391
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,278
I mean, in gangster movies,
they're always like,
392
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:03,443
"He got a bad case of
lead poisoning, see!"
393
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,822
But think about it, every
bullet's got to leave at least
394
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:09,700
a teeny bit of residual
lead in your body, right?
395
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:14,125
Shit. By the time I'm 60, I bet
I'll be mad as a goddamn hatter.
396
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:18,792
I don't believe it.
He made it.
397
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,048
You never give him
enough credit.
398
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,672
And honestly,
not your best trait.
399
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,721
You may want to work on that,
since you'll be a mother soon.
400
00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:29,390
Unless, well,
I suppose that all depends
401
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:32,059
on what kind of
mother you want to be.
402
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:37,932
Uh...
403
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,731
The door, san?
404
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:44,905
Thanks, Kato!
405
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:47,984
Yoshi!
406
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:51,829
Yoshi!
407
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:56,409
I'm sorry,
Yoshi is indisposed.
408
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,709
You!
409
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,495
Me. Scrooch!
410
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,081
You must know...
411
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,165
Hang on.
412
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,002
Oh, God.
413
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,678
Sorry, I don't want
to get a dry socket.
414
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,932
You must know that
even if you kill me,
415
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:14,011
the Yakuza will never
forgive this debt of honor.
416
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,644
They will kill...
417
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:19,099
Right? That's so bad
for your ears.
418
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:22,151
But I get it, the Bushido code,
the whole Japanese thing,
419
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,318
I get it, but...
420
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:25,692
What do you know
about being Japanese?
421
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:27,656
I guess only
the cliches, really.
422
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:30,906
Karaoke, pachinko,
subway frottage...
423
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:32,032
Enough!
424
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,455
Hang on.
Uh... Tentacle porn, uh...
425
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:36,123
Enough!
Hang on;
426
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:39,748
Those vending machines that
sell used schoolgirl panties.
427
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,712
Okay, done. Now,
here's what I propose.
428
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,960
You dare to propose...
429
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,634
I swear to God
I can do that all day.
430
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,711
I mean, to me, it sounds
like bubble wrap.
431
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,469
What is your proposal?
432
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,801
I know the Yakuza
will hunt us down forever,
433
00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:57,933
but I bet you can forgive
the debt of honor, right?
434
00:18:58,012 --> 00:19:00,185
Only if blood
has been shed.
435
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:01,766
Well, my step...
436
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,601
My mother's husband
is about a quart low...
437
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:04,731
You shot him.
438
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,653
So I'm thinking
you take back all...
439
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:09,152
Well, almost all the pills,
Pam ate a bunch,
440
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,108
and I'm not gonna lie
to you, I had a couple,
441
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:14,412
or six, plus you keep
the counterfeit million.
442
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,081
Plus if you don't,
I'll kill you.
443
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:18,874
Probably should
have led with that.
444
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:22,287
I must accept.
445
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:26,250
But I cannot lose mentsu.
What you call "face."
446
00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:29,461
My men must think
this was my decision.
447
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,213
That you somehow
"sweetened the deal."
448
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:35,350
Well, at this point,
the reds are wearing off
449
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:36,846
and the bourbon's
kicking in,
450
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:38,928
so, you can pretty much
name it.
451
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,354
Hmm.
452
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,157
That is so true.
453
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:57,409
That was Cyril.
454
00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:59,866
Ron's in surgery, but the
bullet missed everything,
455
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,622
and his prognosis
is excellent.
456
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,294
Oh, my God,
that's great, so...
457
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,495
So win-win!
458
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:06,171
What... Win-win?
Ow!
459
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:08,045
Malory.
A gut-shot husband
460
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:12,129
and an idiot son who just gave
away $5 million worth of cocaine?
461
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:15,135
I call that
a lose-lose-lose!
462
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:31,148
What could
possibly be funny?
463
00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,365
The phone!
464
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,653
It was Wood house's!
465
00:20:44,228 --> 00:20:54,433
Ripped By mstoll
Happy New Year 2015 - New Year, New Color ;-)