1
00:00:01,162 --> 00:00:02,838
What do you mean, you can't?
Look...
2
00:00:03,112 --> 00:00:05,592
I am throwing a farewell party
for my best friend, Ann Perkins.
3
00:00:05,608 --> 00:00:07,688
And if she casually mentioned 3 years ago
4
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:10,050
that she thought indoor
fireworks would be cool
5
00:00:10,170 --> 00:00:12,158
then guess what,
you're gonna give me indoor fireworks.
6
00:00:12,278 --> 00:00:15,364
Tonight's biggest surprise
is 5 years in the making.
7
00:00:15,484 --> 00:00:17,864
It all goes back to when I
first met my best friend.
8
00:00:17,984 --> 00:00:19,047
I'm here to talk about
9
00:00:19,167 --> 00:00:20,651
the abandoned lot
on Sullivan Street.
10
00:00:20,702 --> 00:00:23,587
I've been trying to get this
thing fixed for months,
11
00:00:23,621 --> 00:00:25,288
and it's government-owned
12
00:00:25,323 --> 00:00:26,573
and you need
to do something about it.
13
00:00:26,607 --> 00:00:28,291
- I will help you.
- Is that a promise?
14
00:00:28,326 --> 00:00:29,909
It's more than a promise.
15
00:00:29,927 --> 00:00:31,728
It's a pinky promise.
16
00:00:31,779 --> 00:00:34,197
That promise launched
a friendship so grand
17
00:00:34,232 --> 00:00:36,600
it takes 103 scrapbooks
to capture it.
18
00:00:36,634 --> 00:00:39,352
I have secretly arranged
to officially break ground
19
00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:41,154
on Pawnee commons at midnight,
20
00:00:41,172 --> 00:00:44,825
fulfilling my pinky promise
that I made five years ago.
21
00:00:44,859 --> 00:00:48,178
Oh, ice cream sandwich
taste test!
22
00:00:48,229 --> 00:00:49,946
That was our biggest fight.
23
00:00:49,981 --> 00:00:51,598
- Hey, Knope.
- Harold.
24
00:00:51,632 --> 00:00:53,834
You're breaking ground on
the Pawnee commons tonight?
25
00:00:53,868 --> 00:00:55,936
Public works
never signed off on that.
26
00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:57,571
Look, your office
was giving me a hard time,
27
00:00:57,605 --> 00:00:59,456
so I had to call in
a few favors.
28
00:00:59,490 --> 00:01:01,625
I don't like it
when people go over my head.
29
00:01:01,676 --> 00:01:03,209
Understood.
I will make a note of that.
30
00:01:03,227 --> 00:01:04,177
Would you like a treat?
31
00:01:04,212 --> 00:01:05,912
I run that department
32
00:01:05,947 --> 00:01:09,349
and I do not appreciate--
33
00:01:09,384 --> 00:01:10,851
- Damn, that's really good.
- Right?
34
00:01:10,885 --> 00:01:12,069
There's gonna be a lot
of these at the party.
35
00:01:12,103 --> 00:01:13,170
- You should come by.
- I kno--
36
00:01:13,204 --> 00:01:14,621
I get it.
I know what you're doing.
37
00:01:14,655 --> 00:01:16,807
And I still--is there
a little crunch in there?
38
00:01:16,841 --> 00:01:17,941
- Hazelnut.
- Ooh.
39
00:01:17,975 --> 00:01:18,942
Ooh, right?
40
00:01:18,976 --> 00:01:20,160
See you tonight.
41
00:01:20,194 --> 00:01:22,262
Okay, well,
let's go set up this party.
42
00:01:22,296 --> 00:01:23,513
April, thank you.
43
00:01:23,548 --> 00:01:26,266
I know you may tease Ann,
but deep down inside
44
00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:27,701
I can tell that you really care.
45
00:01:27,735 --> 00:01:32,806
Ann's leaving town and saying
painful good-byes to loved ones.
46
00:01:32,824 --> 00:01:36,276
Greatest day of my life!
47
00:01:36,310 --> 00:01:39,196
[Triumphant music]
48
00:01:39,230 --> 00:01:49,135
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
49
00:01:57,698 --> 00:02:00,217
Thank you all so much for
helping me with these boxes.
50
00:02:00,268 --> 00:02:03,103
I'm just a little behind because
every time I start, I get--
51
00:02:03,137 --> 00:02:05,705
[sobs]
a little emotional.
52
00:02:05,739 --> 00:02:07,441
Hey, that box
has my name on it.
53
00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:08,992
Hey, this one
has my name on it.
54
00:02:09,026 --> 00:02:11,244
This one
has plates' name on it.
55
00:02:11,278 --> 00:02:13,463
You have just found
your buddy boxes.
56
00:02:13,514 --> 00:02:16,316
Each box contains a memento
of our friendship.
57
00:02:16,350 --> 00:02:17,617
I was gonna give them
to you later,
58
00:02:17,651 --> 00:02:21,287
but there is no time
like the present.
59
00:02:21,305 --> 00:02:23,356
Fun pun alert.
60
00:02:23,390 --> 00:02:25,375
A bronzed hamburger.
61
00:02:25,409 --> 00:02:27,677
It's from our turkey versus
beef cook-off, remember?
62
00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:29,112
You were a worthy adversary.
63
00:02:29,147 --> 00:02:31,848
I would have preferred
a regular hamburger for eating,
64
00:02:31,883 --> 00:02:33,750
but this is very nice.
65
00:02:33,801 --> 00:02:36,353
2008 Indiana state audit
spreadsheets?
66
00:02:36,387 --> 00:02:39,739
Man, that year was insane!
67
00:02:39,773 --> 00:02:41,653
That was the year you went
from being an auditor
68
00:02:41,676 --> 00:02:42,642
to a legend.
69
00:02:42,677 --> 00:02:44,311
Whoa!
70
00:02:44,345 --> 00:02:46,713
A picture of me officiating
Leslie and Ben's wedding.
71
00:02:46,747 --> 00:02:49,249
And look, you can
just about see my head.
72
00:02:49,267 --> 00:02:50,550
Thank you so much.
73
00:02:50,568 --> 00:02:52,319
Snakejuice!
74
00:02:52,353 --> 00:02:54,037
I thought these were destroyed
by the FDA.
75
00:02:54,071 --> 00:02:56,289
I did have to go to a very
seedy location to find it,
76
00:02:56,307 --> 00:02:59,493
but now I know where to go to
place a bet on horse fighting.
77
00:03:01,846 --> 00:03:04,598
Okay, don't mention anything
about the groundbreaking to Ann.
78
00:03:04,632 --> 00:03:05,782
Repeat that back to me.
79
00:03:05,833 --> 00:03:07,083
Tell Ann about
the groundbreaking,
80
00:03:07,118 --> 00:03:08,285
frame Ann for murder,
81
00:03:08,336 --> 00:03:09,836
release a deadly virus
into the water supply.
82
00:03:09,854 --> 00:03:11,054
Good.
[Gasps] Oh!
83
00:03:11,105 --> 00:03:13,824
Bon voyage, Ann.
84
00:03:13,858 --> 00:03:15,458
My God, this is amazing.
85
00:03:15,510 --> 00:03:16,626
That's sparkling cider.
86
00:03:16,677 --> 00:03:18,518
Why is there a New Year's Eve
countdown clock
87
00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:19,696
and the Easter bunny?
88
00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:20,814
I don't know
when we're gonna be able
89
00:03:20,848 --> 00:03:22,649
to visit each other,
so just to be safe
90
00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:25,185
this party is a celebration
of every event
91
00:03:25,219 --> 00:03:26,686
that's gonna happen this year.
92
00:03:26,721 --> 00:03:29,756
Your birthday, New Year's,
Chinese New Year's, flag day.
93
00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:31,591
Ain't no party like
a Leslie Knope party
94
00:03:31,609 --> 00:03:34,110
'cause a Leslie Knope party
is actually 30 parties.
95
00:03:34,145 --> 00:03:36,163
Knope, you have
out-knoped yourself.
96
00:03:36,197 --> 00:03:37,363
[Mocking laugh]
97
00:03:37,381 --> 00:03:38,882
Seems like the party's
dying down. Weird.
98
00:03:38,916 --> 00:03:41,301
Ann, you probably wanna head
to Michigan forever,
99
00:03:41,319 --> 00:03:44,004
so I snuck into your house
and packed a bag for you. Bye.
100
00:03:44,038 --> 00:03:46,389
This is just a bunch
of bras and knives.
101
00:03:46,424 --> 00:03:48,141
And loose onions.
102
00:03:48,175 --> 00:03:49,359
Okay, party!
103
00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:50,810
Don't drink!
Have fun!
104
00:03:50,828 --> 00:03:54,764
Hey, so we have a little
farewell gift for you.
105
00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:57,284
We all pitched in
and got you a gift card
106
00:03:57,318 --> 00:03:59,886
from that home store,
"Pots and Pans."
107
00:03:59,921 --> 00:04:02,439
We have been on the prowl
for some amazing pots.
108
00:04:02,473 --> 00:04:05,325
Well, that card's
for three pans.
109
00:04:05,359 --> 00:04:07,660
Either way, this is great.
110
00:04:07,678 --> 00:04:09,012
You know what?
111
00:04:09,046 --> 00:04:10,446
We should get
to the good-bye party,
112
00:04:10,448 --> 00:04:11,764
although I know
it's mostly for Ann.
113
00:04:11,782 --> 00:04:14,000
Yeah, but there's, like,
one corner for you
114
00:04:14,035 --> 00:04:15,685
and it's just carob cookies
and berries.
115
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,220
Carob cookies and berries
116
00:04:17,271 --> 00:04:19,772
are literally my favorite
dessert alternative.
117
00:04:19,790 --> 00:04:22,292
I'll go get changed.
118
00:04:22,343 --> 00:04:24,928
Man, he put a lot of work
into our presents.
119
00:04:24,962 --> 00:04:27,063
I feel kinda bad just
getting him a gift card.
120
00:04:27,098 --> 00:04:29,282
I also shook his hand.
Twice.
121
00:04:29,317 --> 00:04:31,051
Anything more than that
would be excessive.
122
00:04:31,085 --> 00:04:32,986
Let's all put our heads
together and brainstorm.
123
00:04:33,004 --> 00:04:34,738
We gotta send this dude off
with the perfect gift.
124
00:04:34,772 --> 00:04:36,656
I say we start
with the three "C’s,"
125
00:04:36,707 --> 00:04:39,025
cashmere, concert tickets,
caboodles of cash.
126
00:04:39,043 --> 00:04:41,394
I feel like those
are perfect gifts for you.
127
00:04:41,445 --> 00:04:42,996
Those are perfect gifts
for anyone.
128
00:04:43,030 --> 00:04:46,582
Ugh, I wish you guys were Donna!
129
00:04:46,601 --> 00:04:49,402
I'm 100% sure
that I will not meet
130
00:04:49,453 --> 00:04:51,187
another Donna Meagle
in Michigan.
131
00:04:51,205 --> 00:04:52,522
I'm gonna miss you.
132
00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:54,124
You know, I'm gonna miss you
too, Perkins.
133
00:04:54,158 --> 00:04:55,892
But now that you're officially
out of the dating pool,
134
00:04:55,927 --> 00:04:58,028
you know I'm gonna
run this town, right?
135
00:04:58,062 --> 00:04:59,446
Ooh.
136
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,549
Oh, yeah, you do not wanna
go down that road.
137
00:05:02,583 --> 00:05:03,600
Trust me, I tried.
138
00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:05,151
Hi, Stephen.
139
00:05:05,186 --> 00:05:06,152
Hey, Ann.
140
00:05:06,203 --> 00:05:09,422
- Super cute baby bump.
- Thanks.
141
00:05:09,457 --> 00:05:11,541
Good looking out.
142
00:05:11,559 --> 00:05:14,361
Hey, Ron, have you seen April?
143
00:05:14,395 --> 00:05:16,479
I've been mostly focused
on these ribs.
144
00:05:16,497 --> 00:05:20,216
By the way, you're out of Easter
ham and Thanksgiving turkey.
145
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:21,351
Great party.
146
00:05:21,385 --> 00:05:23,186
[Phone rings]
147
00:05:23,220 --> 00:05:24,170
Hey.
148
00:05:24,205 --> 00:05:25,155
Are you on the lot?
149
00:05:25,189 --> 00:05:26,156
Is everything okay?
150
00:05:26,190 --> 00:05:27,607
Uh, not really.
151
00:05:27,642 --> 00:05:30,159
Public works put up a giant
padlock on the fence
152
00:05:30,177 --> 00:05:32,979
and a sign that says
"No trespassing."
153
00:05:33,014 --> 00:05:34,430
That probably
doesn't apply to us.
154
00:05:34,448 --> 00:05:37,183
There's also a sign that says
"Especially Leslie Knope."
155
00:05:37,218 --> 00:05:39,336
Well, Leslie Knope
is a very common name.
156
00:05:39,370 --> 00:05:41,638
There's a professor in
Copenhagen named Leslie Knope.
157
00:05:41,672 --> 00:05:43,423
They probably mean him.
158
00:05:43,474 --> 00:05:44,555
Do they mean the professor?
159
00:05:44,558 --> 00:05:47,560
Yeah,
there's a picture of you also.
160
00:05:47,595 --> 00:05:50,063
And two huge security guards.
161
00:05:50,097 --> 00:05:51,881
Holy mother of Malia!
162
00:05:51,899 --> 00:05:53,183
And Sasha.
163
00:05:53,217 --> 00:05:54,601
I love them both equally.
164
00:05:54,652 --> 00:05:56,319
Okay, it's that stupid Harold
who's behind this.
165
00:05:56,354 --> 00:05:59,906
Get here and we will
make a plan.
166
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:01,891
How long do I have to do this?
167
00:06:01,909 --> 00:06:03,526
Until I say so, Orin!
168
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,640
Stay in character.
169
00:06:10,356 --> 00:06:12,626
Leslie can't watch anything
with Julie Andrews in it
170
00:06:12,866 --> 00:06:14,216
before bedtime because
it gets her too hyper.
171
00:06:14,251 --> 00:06:15,167
Okay.
172
00:06:15,218 --> 00:06:17,086
If Chris gets cranky
around noon,
173
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,871
just stuff some chia seeds
into a fig--
174
00:06:18,905 --> 00:06:20,056
works every time.
175
00:06:20,389 --> 00:06:21,889
Awesome, thank you.
176
00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:24,525
Wow, we really picked
some intense people
177
00:06:24,543 --> 00:06:26,594
- to spend our lives with, huh?
- Yeah.
178
00:06:26,628 --> 00:06:28,095
Where's Leslie?
I haven't seen her in a while.
179
00:06:28,113 --> 00:06:29,447
Oh, she's just running around
180
00:06:29,498 --> 00:06:31,683
trying to pull off an elaborate,
thoughtful surprise for you.
181
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,267
- Of course.
- Where's Chris?
182
00:06:33,285 --> 00:06:35,620
I told him that One Headlight
By the Wallflowers
183
00:06:35,671 --> 00:06:40,041
isn't "dancing" music and he
said "Not with that attitude."
184
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,394
Of course.
185
00:06:43,429 --> 00:06:47,031
Dude, Ann, you know
what I just remembered?
186
00:06:47,082 --> 00:06:48,583
We used to date.
[Chuckles]
187
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,852
Yeah, we lived together
for two years.
188
00:06:50,886 --> 00:06:52,620
I know, it's crazy, right?
189
00:06:52,655 --> 00:06:54,172
Anyways, you're the best.
190
00:06:54,223 --> 00:06:57,692
Have fun in Mexico.
191
00:06:57,726 --> 00:06:59,177
Harold,
it is Leslie Knope again.
192
00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:00,311
I know you are
screening my calls,
193
00:07:00,346 --> 00:07:01,546
but if you could call me bac--
[Sighs]
194
00:07:01,580 --> 00:07:02,947
And his voicemail is full.
195
00:07:02,982 --> 00:07:04,282
Did you have any luck?
196
00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:05,533
Flipped through the bylaws.
197
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:06,534
I don't think
there's anything I can do.
198
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,036
What is the point
of being married
199
00:07:08,070 --> 00:07:10,588
to a city manager if he can't
wield unfettered power
200
00:07:10,623 --> 00:07:11,806
to crush my enemies?
201
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:12,857
Hopefully there are
a few other reasons.
202
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,626
- Yeah.
- Looks like we hit a wall.
203
00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:16,628
Oh, God.
[Sobs]
204
00:07:16,679 --> 00:07:18,279
April?
Are you okay?
205
00:07:18,314 --> 00:07:19,230
What's happening?
206
00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:20,415
I'm just so scared
207
00:07:20,449 --> 00:07:23,935
that this means that Ann
won't really leave.
208
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:26,487
Life, huh?
209
00:07:26,505 --> 00:07:28,773
It's quite a ride.
210
00:07:28,807 --> 00:07:31,676
Yes, Tom, it is.
211
00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:33,828
I got you a going-away
present.
212
00:07:33,846 --> 00:07:35,446
I'm deleting you from my phone.
213
00:07:35,481 --> 00:07:37,832
You're finally free
of my animal magnetism.
214
00:07:37,866 --> 00:07:40,234
Maybe one day years from now
when we're both old
215
00:07:40,269 --> 00:07:43,638
and Chris is dead,
you'll run into me somewhere.
216
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,157
I'll be opening
my latest mega club.
217
00:07:46,191 --> 00:07:47,911
I'll see you there
on the street by yourself
218
00:07:47,943 --> 00:07:50,862
and I'll tell
the bouncer/my bodyguard,
219
00:07:50,896 --> 00:07:54,332
"Hey, that woman's way too old
to get into this club,
220
00:07:54,383 --> 00:07:56,734
but why don't you
let her in the back?"
221
00:07:56,769 --> 00:07:58,686
That's very generous.
222
00:07:58,720 --> 00:07:59,987
Stay golden, sweetheart.
223
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,455
I'm gonna miss you too, Tom.
224
00:08:01,473 --> 00:08:02,940
Shh.
225
00:08:02,975 --> 00:08:05,360
And you're kind
and you're thoughtful
226
00:08:05,394 --> 00:08:07,211
and you're always such a delight
to have around.
227
00:08:07,246 --> 00:08:10,648
I am sure you are going
to be an incredible mother.
228
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,533
Thanks, Larry.
That's nice.
229
00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:14,218
Good-bye, Ann.
230
00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:17,622
I have enjoyed
parts of our time together.
231
00:08:17,656 --> 00:08:21,559
[Sobs] Oh, God, Ron.
232
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:26,881
[Sobs]
That was really something.
233
00:08:26,915 --> 00:08:28,816
Okay, what do
we have for Chris?
234
00:08:28,851 --> 00:08:31,452
I got this City of Pawnee mug.
235
00:08:31,486 --> 00:08:33,137
Also, this cool jacket.
236
00:08:33,188 --> 00:08:35,106
No, I think
that's Chris's jacket.
237
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,324
Okay, good,
then we know he likes it.
238
00:08:36,358 --> 00:08:37,792
Catch up, Larry.
239
00:08:37,826 --> 00:08:39,761
Okay, I found some old receipts
240
00:08:39,795 --> 00:08:41,429
from lunches we had together.
241
00:08:41,447 --> 00:08:42,397
Is that anything?
242
00:08:42,431 --> 00:08:43,831
This is my contribution.
243
00:08:43,866 --> 00:08:45,199
It says "Ron."
244
00:08:45,217 --> 00:08:46,517
Hey, guys, what's going on?
245
00:08:46,552 --> 00:08:49,103
Oh, we're just giving you
a bunch of cool gifts.
246
00:08:49,121 --> 00:08:50,071
No, God--oh...God.
247
00:08:50,105 --> 00:08:52,090
Get your hopes up, Chris.
248
00:08:52,124 --> 00:08:53,224
Let's see what's in here.
249
00:08:53,275 --> 00:08:55,526
Some assorted items.
250
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,012
And...some pieces of paper.
251
00:08:58,046 --> 00:08:59,764
Boom, nailed it.
All right.
252
00:08:59,798 --> 00:09:03,651
Now we can start
enjoying this party.
253
00:09:03,685 --> 00:09:06,721
Leslie, this is the most
incredible event
254
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,139
that has ever been thrown.
255
00:09:08,190 --> 00:09:10,608
There is a pilgrim line dancing
with a box of candies.
256
00:09:10,659 --> 00:09:13,094
Why do you look so bummed out?
257
00:09:13,128 --> 00:09:15,379
We were planning a surprise
groundbreaking
258
00:09:15,414 --> 00:09:16,614
at Pawnee commons for you.
259
00:09:16,648 --> 00:09:18,232
You know, an actual beginning
260
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:19,751
to the project
that brought us together.
261
00:09:19,785 --> 00:09:22,303
But now we can't do it because
Harold is such a jerk face.
262
00:09:22,337 --> 00:09:23,971
He put a barbed wire fence
around the lot
263
00:09:24,005 --> 00:09:25,656
and now it's not happening.
264
00:09:25,707 --> 00:09:26,991
I'm sorry, Ann.
265
00:09:27,042 --> 00:09:29,443
First of all, don't apologize.
266
00:09:29,461 --> 00:09:31,546
And second of all, screw Harold.
267
00:09:31,580 --> 00:09:33,714
If I learned one thing
from Leslie Knope
268
00:09:33,749 --> 00:09:35,716
it is we do not take "No"
for an answer.
269
00:09:35,751 --> 00:09:37,952
Anything is possible
if we work hard enough.
270
00:09:37,970 --> 00:09:39,220
- Let's do it.
- Oh, my God!
271
00:09:39,254 --> 00:09:40,788
Ann Perkins to the rescue.
272
00:09:40,806 --> 00:09:42,140
Okay, hands in, everybody.
273
00:09:42,174 --> 00:09:43,307
One, two, three.
274
00:09:43,342 --> 00:09:44,308
- Groundbreaking!
- Let's go!
275
00:09:44,343 --> 00:09:45,676
Dark forces, arise!
276
00:09:45,727 --> 00:09:47,127
Okay, I didn't plan
what we were all gonna say.
277
00:09:47,146 --> 00:09:48,747
That's my bad.
Here we go, Ann. Let's go.
278
00:09:53,419 --> 00:09:54,719
Okay, now to ring the bell.
279
00:09:54,959 --> 00:09:56,292
Bust in unannounced.
280
00:09:56,327 --> 00:10:00,046
Love it!
281
00:10:00,081 --> 00:10:01,131
Harold.
282
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:02,132
What the hell, Knope?
283
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,216
We need the key to the fence
284
00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:04,634
that you put up
on the Sullivan Street lot.
285
00:10:04,668 --> 00:10:06,352
You snuck around
behind my back.
286
00:10:06,387 --> 00:10:08,488
I told you I didn't like that.
Forget it.
287
00:10:08,522 --> 00:10:10,073
Come on, Harold, look.
288
00:10:10,107 --> 00:10:12,158
This is a great opportunity
you have right now.
289
00:10:12,193 --> 00:10:14,260
Just think of us as your genies
290
00:10:14,295 --> 00:10:15,962
who can give you
anything you want.
291
00:10:15,996 --> 00:10:17,280
Nothing gross.
292
00:10:17,298 --> 00:10:20,817
Okay, yeah,
there is something I want.
293
00:10:20,851 --> 00:10:22,318
Super fizzy fruity pop.
294
00:10:22,353 --> 00:10:23,636
Sorry?
295
00:10:23,671 --> 00:10:26,556
Sweetums used to stock our
office with free sodas
296
00:10:26,607 --> 00:10:28,808
as a promotional thing,
but that Kathryn Pinewood lady
297
00:10:28,843 --> 00:10:30,326
just took 'em away.
298
00:10:30,377 --> 00:10:33,513
If you can get us our free sodas
back, I'll get you a key.
299
00:10:33,547 --> 00:10:35,681
- Deal.
- Easy.
300
00:10:35,699 --> 00:10:37,083
It is not easy.
301
00:10:37,118 --> 00:10:39,252
Kathryn Pinewood is the person
on earth who hates me the most.
302
00:10:39,286 --> 00:10:40,487
Well, luckily,
you're with the person on earth
303
00:10:40,521 --> 00:10:41,521
who loves you the most.
304
00:10:41,555 --> 00:10:42,906
- Too cheesy?
- No, it's perfect.
305
00:10:42,957 --> 00:10:43,878
I love you.
Don't leave.
306
00:10:43,924 --> 00:10:45,291
Come on.
307
00:10:45,325 --> 00:10:47,393
Donna, you are
a remarkable woman,
308
00:10:47,427 --> 00:10:48,695
and I just wanted to say
309
00:10:48,729 --> 00:10:50,213
that I've always
thought of you as family.
310
00:10:50,247 --> 00:10:52,515
I just wanna say that I've
always thought you were hot.
311
00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:53,767
Yes, I know.
312
00:10:53,801 --> 00:10:54,784
April--
313
00:10:54,819 --> 00:10:56,786
Yeah, you saw a lot of
potential in me,
314
00:10:56,837 --> 00:10:59,338
I'm like a daughter to you,
and it was a treat
315
00:10:59,356 --> 00:11:00,857
to watch me blossom.
316
00:11:00,891 --> 00:11:02,625
Blah blah blah, bye.
317
00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:06,012
That is remarkably close
to what I was going to say.
318
00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:09,916
Also, I'm proud of you.
319
00:11:12,987 --> 00:11:14,354
Donna,
are you grabbing my butt?
320
00:11:14,388 --> 00:11:15,305
Can you blame me?
321
00:11:15,339 --> 00:11:17,557
[Chuckles]
No!
322
00:11:17,575 --> 00:11:19,058
Sorry, can't help you ladies.
323
00:11:19,076 --> 00:11:21,211
I don't have time for disgraced
former politicians
324
00:11:21,262 --> 00:11:22,312
and unmarried preggos.
325
00:11:22,346 --> 00:11:24,463
Oh, Kathryn, always a delight.
326
00:11:24,482 --> 00:11:25,748
Listen, I know
that you and Leslie
327
00:11:25,783 --> 00:11:27,417
have had your disagreements
in the past,
328
00:11:27,451 --> 00:11:30,303
but we really need the key,
and we can only get the key
329
00:11:30,337 --> 00:11:31,621
if we get the sodas.
Please?
330
00:11:31,655 --> 00:11:33,173
I don't see why I should do
you any favors.
331
00:11:33,207 --> 00:11:36,559
I mean, if you were still
a city councilor, maybe.
332
00:11:36,610 --> 00:11:38,778
But I seem to remember
you were recalled.
333
00:11:38,796 --> 00:11:39,746
Is that right?
334
00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:41,381
- How dare yo--
- Okay, Leslie.
335
00:11:41,415 --> 00:11:43,700
Please.
It's not worth it.
336
00:11:43,734 --> 00:11:44,667
For you.
337
00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:46,252
For me, I don't care.
338
00:11:46,286 --> 00:11:47,887
[Gasps] What the hell?
339
00:11:47,922 --> 00:11:49,138
Yeah, Pinewood, that's right.
340
00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:51,057
I'm pregnant
and I have you in a headlock.
341
00:11:51,075 --> 00:11:53,009
And if you try to fight back,
I will sue you.
342
00:11:53,043 --> 00:11:55,461
Unless you tell us how to get
those sodas right now.
343
00:11:55,479 --> 00:11:57,480
Okay, fine.
344
00:11:57,531 --> 00:11:59,282
Sweetums
has been desperately trying
345
00:11:59,316 --> 00:12:01,134
to get a local
celebrity spokesman
346
00:12:01,168 --> 00:12:02,302
to endorse
their new sports drink.
347
00:12:02,336 --> 00:12:03,903
So if you can
make that happen somehow,
348
00:12:03,937 --> 00:12:06,673
they'll give you
whatever you want.
349
00:12:06,707 --> 00:12:08,608
Damn, Perkins.
350
00:12:08,642 --> 00:12:11,661
Okay, who does Sweetums want
as their spokesperson?
351
00:12:11,712 --> 00:12:14,347
They already tried to get me
to endorse that sports drink.
352
00:12:14,381 --> 00:12:15,348
I said "No."
353
00:12:15,366 --> 00:12:16,916
They want me dunking
on the label.
354
00:12:16,951 --> 00:12:18,301
When is this town gonna realize
355
00:12:18,335 --> 00:12:20,486
that I'm more than a former
high school basketball star?
356
00:12:20,521 --> 00:12:23,923
I don't think this new sports
drink is even about basketball.
357
00:12:23,958 --> 00:12:25,758
It's called
"Sweetums dunktastic
358
00:12:25,793 --> 00:12:27,894
three-point B-ball blast"
359
00:12:27,912 --> 00:12:30,079
the slogan is
"It's all about basketball."
360
00:12:30,114 --> 00:12:32,482
I'm sorry, you're gonna
have to find yourself
361
00:12:32,516 --> 00:12:35,618
some other famous pawneean.
362
00:12:35,653 --> 00:12:37,136
[Both gasp]
363
00:12:37,171 --> 00:12:39,472
We know that you were already
approached by Sweetums
364
00:12:39,506 --> 00:12:41,824
and you said "No," but is there
any way you would reconsider?
365
00:12:41,859 --> 00:12:42,959
I'm sorry, Miss Knope.
366
00:12:42,993 --> 00:12:45,328
There is such a thing as
journalistic integrity,
367
00:12:45,362 --> 00:12:49,532
and it is something that I have
as a journalist with integrity.
368
00:12:49,567 --> 00:12:51,334
It's really important, Perd.
369
00:12:51,385 --> 00:12:53,436
Please?
Come on.
370
00:12:53,487 --> 00:12:54,654
For old time's sake.
371
00:12:54,688 --> 00:12:56,122
Well, the story of that appeal
372
00:12:56,156 --> 00:12:57,707
is it was heartfelt.
373
00:12:57,758 --> 00:13:02,161
And in response to that appeal,
I respond: Okay.
374
00:13:03,831 --> 00:13:05,582
For old time's sake?
375
00:13:05,616 --> 00:13:08,101
Does that mea--no!
376
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:10,770
- Ann, you tricky minx.
- Yep.
377
00:13:10,788 --> 00:13:12,872
- I went on a date with Perd.
- What?
378
00:13:12,890 --> 00:13:14,474
It was during that
"explore my freedom
379
00:13:14,508 --> 00:13:15,675
as a single woman" phase.
380
00:13:15,693 --> 00:13:18,044
- Wow.
- We just had a drink.
381
00:13:18,078 --> 00:13:20,880
And at the end he said,
"I am going to kiss you now
382
00:13:20,915 --> 00:13:22,732
by putting my mouth
on your mouth."
383
00:13:22,783 --> 00:13:23,866
And then I ran away.
384
00:13:23,901 --> 00:13:25,668
It was absolutely
the right call.
385
00:13:25,703 --> 00:13:27,420
Well, we could
just tell him the truth
386
00:13:27,454 --> 00:13:29,722
that we feel bad that we didn't
get him anything nice.
387
00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:31,240
[Chuckles] Tell the truth?
388
00:13:31,292 --> 00:13:32,659
That's hilarious.
No.
389
00:13:32,693 --> 00:13:34,293
We tell him
we had the perfect gift,
390
00:13:34,311 --> 00:13:35,895
but we were robbed at gunpoint.
391
00:13:35,930 --> 00:13:37,563
"Chris, he had a gun.
392
00:13:37,597 --> 00:13:39,065
He took all the gifts."
393
00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:41,250
Now Chris feels bad,
he's buying us gifts.
394
00:13:41,302 --> 00:13:43,386
Next thing you know,
Tommy's got a new watch.
395
00:13:43,437 --> 00:13:44,971
Again, I don't see the problem.
396
00:13:44,989 --> 00:13:47,957
I shook the man's hand.
Twice.
397
00:13:48,008 --> 00:13:51,694
Guys, look what I got at
the president's day booth.
398
00:13:51,745 --> 00:13:55,632
Ask not what your country
can do for you.
399
00:13:55,683 --> 00:13:57,016
[Laughs]
400
00:13:57,050 --> 00:13:58,651
From Family Guy, right?
401
00:13:58,686 --> 00:14:00,820
Listen, Chris, we have
to tell you something.
402
00:14:00,838 --> 00:14:04,256
We feel bad because you got us
such thoughtful gifts
403
00:14:04,274 --> 00:14:08,461
and we got you three pans
and a bag of nothing.
404
00:14:08,495 --> 00:14:11,097
Guys, I don't need
anything from you.
405
00:14:11,115 --> 00:14:13,099
My buddy boxes
are about the past,
406
00:14:13,133 --> 00:14:15,518
but let's focus on the future.
407
00:14:15,552 --> 00:14:17,637
Because we're always
gonna be friends.
408
00:14:17,671 --> 00:14:21,124
And just the fact that you feel
bad about your bag of nothing
409
00:14:21,158 --> 00:14:22,091
proves that.
410
00:14:22,142 --> 00:14:23,393
To the future.
411
00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:24,394
- Hear, hear.
- To the future.
412
00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:25,778
- To the future.
- Cheers.
413
00:14:25,813 --> 00:14:28,331
- I have an idea.
- Future.
414
00:14:30,684 --> 00:14:32,235
Don't you ladies ever knock?
415
00:14:32,269 --> 00:14:34,120
No.
Okay, so we got Perd Hapley
416
00:14:34,154 --> 00:14:35,254
to sign on with Sweetums,
417
00:14:35,289 --> 00:14:36,806
which means that
you get your sodas back,
418
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,141
which means that we get our key.
419
00:14:38,175 --> 00:14:39,292
Okay? Everything's here
in writing.
420
00:14:39,326 --> 00:14:40,743
Now call off your guards.
421
00:14:42,663 --> 00:14:44,330
Okay.
Fine.
422
00:14:44,348 --> 00:14:46,432
You two are a couple of real
pains in the ass.
423
00:14:46,467 --> 00:14:47,734
You know that?
424
00:14:47,768 --> 00:14:49,736
Harold, your tiny brain
could not understand this,
425
00:14:49,770 --> 00:14:51,237
but that is the best compliment
426
00:14:51,255 --> 00:14:53,723
you could ever give the two
women standing in front of you.
427
00:14:53,757 --> 00:14:55,058
Bye, Harold.
428
00:14:55,109 --> 00:14:58,077
Victory at last.
Whoo!
429
00:14:58,112 --> 00:15:00,013
- All right.
- You're all set.
430
00:15:00,047 --> 00:15:01,247
Okay, I am gonna call
431
00:15:01,265 --> 00:15:03,716
the official ceremonial
ribbon cutting guy,
432
00:15:03,734 --> 00:15:04,984
'cause I think
we may have missed him.
433
00:15:05,002 --> 00:15:06,836
[Hisses]
434
00:15:06,870 --> 00:15:07,804
What are you doing?
435
00:15:07,838 --> 00:15:08,855
It's for the raccoons.
436
00:15:08,889 --> 00:15:10,139
You have to hiss really loud
437
00:15:10,190 --> 00:15:11,457
and stomp your feet
so they'll leave you alone.
438
00:15:11,492 --> 00:15:13,359
And if one comes close,
make yourself really large
439
00:15:13,377 --> 00:15:15,378
like a puffer fish.
[Hisses]
440
00:15:15,412 --> 00:15:16,512
Pawnee raccoons.
441
00:15:16,547 --> 00:15:18,831
That is one thing
I will not miss.
442
00:15:18,866 --> 00:15:20,433
Well, Michigan has wolverines.
443
00:15:20,451 --> 00:15:22,618
Maybe they'll eat your toes.
444
00:15:22,653 --> 00:15:25,805
So how long do you think
you'll stay in Pawnee for?
445
00:15:25,839 --> 00:15:26,806
I don't know.
446
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,974
We like it here.
447
00:15:28,992 --> 00:15:31,744
I made Andy promise that someday
we'll move to Transylvania,
448
00:15:31,778 --> 00:15:33,946
but that probably won't happen
till we're, like, 100.
449
00:15:33,964 --> 00:15:36,349
Well, for what it's worth,
450
00:15:36,383 --> 00:15:39,018
I'm really happy
that you and Andy are married.
451
00:15:39,052 --> 00:15:39,985
Why?
452
00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:43,172
Why?
Because I love him
453
00:15:43,207 --> 00:15:45,091
and I love you.
454
00:15:45,125 --> 00:15:47,610
Why wouldn't I be happy?
455
00:15:47,644 --> 00:15:48,945
[Mumbles] I love you too.
456
00:15:48,979 --> 00:15:50,446
What's that?
457
00:15:50,497 --> 00:15:52,632
[Mumbles] I love you too.
458
00:15:52,666 --> 00:15:54,700
I-I couldn't--I couldn't
quite hear you.
459
00:15:54,718 --> 00:15:56,886
Please don't make me say it.
Please.
460
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,872
My going-away present to you
461
00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:03,843
will be that I do not make you
audibly say that you love me.
462
00:16:03,877 --> 00:16:06,879
Thank you.
463
00:16:09,216 --> 00:16:11,684
- What's happening here?
- Okay, Leslie's coming back.
464
00:16:11,718 --> 00:16:13,598
- Get off me, wench!
- Did I miss a nice moment?
465
00:16:13,604 --> 00:16:14,604
- No.
- Yes, you did.
466
00:16:14,655 --> 00:16:16,322
Oh, good.
467
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:21,057
Guys, what are you doing here?
468
00:16:21,177 --> 00:16:21,865
Come in.
469
00:16:21,867 --> 00:16:24,121
You caught me before
my first run of the day.
470
00:16:24,364 --> 00:16:26,081
I call it my "beat the sun" run.
471
00:16:26,083 --> 00:16:27,996
It's a race between me
and the sun.
472
00:16:28,116 --> 00:16:30,886
Well, we got one more
gift for you.
473
00:16:30,888 --> 00:16:34,256
It's quarter-sawn zebra wood
adjoined by floating tenons
474
00:16:34,258 --> 00:16:36,374
to the black walnut
corner posts.
475
00:16:36,376 --> 00:16:38,110
Finished with a wiping varnish
476
00:16:38,112 --> 00:16:40,295
that's a secret
Swanson family recipe.
477
00:16:40,297 --> 00:16:44,066
Handmade at my woodshop,
and you are correct.
478
00:16:44,068 --> 00:16:45,650
It is gorgeous.
479
00:16:45,652 --> 00:16:48,186
You're starting a new life
with your new family,
480
00:16:48,188 --> 00:16:50,072
so it's an empty buddy box
481
00:16:50,074 --> 00:16:52,407
to fill with memories
for your little buddy.
482
00:16:52,409 --> 00:16:54,409
Or...twizzlers.
483
00:16:54,411 --> 00:16:56,394
That's the beautiful thing
about a box.
484
00:16:56,396 --> 00:17:00,115
We all burned
our initials in, see?
485
00:17:00,117 --> 00:17:04,002
Wait a minute,
who's G-J-L-G-G?
486
00:17:04,004 --> 00:17:05,921
That's Garry Jerry Larry
Gergich Gengurch.
487
00:17:05,923 --> 00:17:08,123
I burned in all my names.
488
00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:09,341
I really--I didn't
know what to do.
489
00:17:09,343 --> 00:17:11,793
Well, um...
[Tears up]
490
00:17:11,795 --> 00:17:13,962
Thank you.
491
00:17:13,964 --> 00:17:17,415
Um, this tear, um,
492
00:17:17,417 --> 00:17:21,920
caused by the overwhelming
thoughtfulness of my friends
493
00:17:21,922 --> 00:17:24,773
will be my baby's first memory.
494
00:17:24,775 --> 00:17:27,609
Salt water will warp the wood.
495
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:31,863
So keep your tears in your eyes
where they belong.
496
00:17:31,865 --> 00:17:33,365
Will do, Ron Swanson.
497
00:17:33,367 --> 00:17:35,851
Can I still call you
498
00:17:35,853 --> 00:17:38,036
when I have thoughts
on Jennifer Aniston's future?
499
00:17:38,038 --> 00:17:39,604
Not if I call you first.
500
00:17:39,606 --> 00:17:40,622
And can we still
be on the phone
501
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,657
for every state
of the Union address
502
00:17:42,659 --> 00:17:45,077
and every Oscar
red carpet coverage
503
00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:47,629
and every single viewing
of Tootsie?
504
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:48,880
Of course.
505
00:17:48,882 --> 00:17:51,500
Oh, Ann Perkins.
506
00:17:51,502 --> 00:17:54,219
You perfect sunflower.
507
00:17:54,221 --> 00:17:56,721
You totally changed me,
you know?
508
00:17:56,723 --> 00:17:59,141
You taught me
how to balance my life,
509
00:17:59,143 --> 00:18:02,427
- how to be patient.
- Mm...
510
00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:04,179
- How to be more patient.
- Yeah, that's better.
511
00:18:04,181 --> 00:18:06,631
How to throw bureaucratic
caution to the wind
512
00:18:06,633 --> 00:18:08,316
when it came to Ben.
513
00:18:08,318 --> 00:18:11,103
But most importantly,
you taught me
514
00:18:11,105 --> 00:18:13,405
that I can't pull off
a tulip skirt.
515
00:18:13,407 --> 00:18:15,440
It's just not your shape.
516
00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:19,277
[Laughter]
517
00:18:19,279 --> 00:18:22,697
Well, I don't think this
ceremonial ribbon cutting guy
518
00:18:22,699 --> 00:18:23,698
is gonna make it.
519
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:25,700
Either he flaked or he tripped
520
00:18:25,702 --> 00:18:28,253
and impaled himself
on his own giant scissors.
521
00:18:28,255 --> 00:18:30,005
We wait for no man.
522
00:18:30,007 --> 00:18:31,339
Let's do this.
523
00:18:31,341 --> 00:18:34,092
Both: One, two, three!
524
00:18:34,094 --> 00:18:36,211
[Squeals]
525
00:18:36,213 --> 00:18:39,214
[Both cheer]
526
00:18:39,216 --> 00:18:40,849
All right, I got my park.
527
00:18:40,851 --> 00:18:41,967
That's all I wanted from you.
528
00:18:41,969 --> 00:18:42,968
Friendship over.
529
00:18:42,970 --> 00:18:44,970
[Laughter]
530
00:18:44,972 --> 00:18:46,771
Don't even
joke about that, Ann.
531
00:18:50,226 --> 00:18:52,561
It was your idea
to get me that box.
532
00:18:52,563 --> 00:18:54,646
Ah, it was a group effort.
533
00:18:54,648 --> 00:18:56,314
But it had that trademark
534
00:18:56,316 --> 00:18:59,818
Ben Wyatt mix of thoughtful
and resourceful.
535
00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:04,355
You are literally the best
friend that I will ever have.
536
00:19:05,908 --> 00:19:09,461
You too, man.
537
00:19:13,833 --> 00:19:15,050
Leslie Knope.
538
00:19:15,052 --> 00:19:16,551
Chris Traeger.
539
00:19:16,553 --> 00:19:18,587
I just wanna say
that getting to know you
540
00:19:18,589 --> 00:19:20,639
and watching you work
541
00:19:20,641 --> 00:19:23,875
has been one of the greatest
experiences
542
00:19:23,877 --> 00:19:26,928
of my life--that and working
with Dr. Richard Nygard.
543
00:19:26,930 --> 00:19:29,431
Sure, and I just
want you to know
544
00:19:29,433 --> 00:19:31,900
that I thought
there was no man on earth
545
00:19:31,902 --> 00:19:34,352
good enough for Ann Perkins.
546
00:19:34,354 --> 00:19:36,188
- And I still think that.
- Right.
547
00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:39,390
But if there is no one
actually good enough for her,
548
00:19:39,392 --> 00:19:43,411
you are pretty damn close.
549
00:19:45,665 --> 00:19:49,701
[Exhales]
550
00:19:51,170 --> 00:19:53,738
Okay, well, this is normal.
551
00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:54,739
No big deal.
552
00:19:54,741 --> 00:19:56,675
- Drive safe.
- We will.
553
00:19:56,677 --> 00:19:58,376
I packed you some sandwiches
554
00:19:58,378 --> 00:20:00,679
and some caffeine free iced tea.
555
00:20:00,681 --> 00:20:02,914
So--oh, and there's a mix CD
that I made
556
00:20:02,916 --> 00:20:04,883
already loaded in your car.
557
00:20:04,885 --> 00:20:06,417
There's a lot of
Sarah McLanahan,
558
00:20:06,419 --> 00:20:07,886
so, Chris, I apologize.
559
00:20:07,888 --> 00:20:09,888
Things are gonna get emotional.
560
00:20:09,890 --> 00:20:12,757
[Chuckles]
561
00:20:12,759 --> 00:20:14,559
I love you.
562
00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:18,596
I love you too.
563
00:20:21,684 --> 00:20:24,736
[Engine starts]
564
00:20:30,309 --> 00:20:34,079
Breakfast, Knope?
565
00:20:34,081 --> 00:20:36,981
Oh, I don't know.
566
00:20:36,983 --> 00:20:38,250
Come on.
567
00:20:38,252 --> 00:20:40,318
There has never been a sadness
568
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,504
that can't be cured
by breakfast food.
569
00:20:42,506 --> 00:20:44,339
That's fair.
570
00:20:44,341 --> 00:20:46,625
Someone else is gonna
have to drive though.
571
00:20:46,627 --> 00:20:48,326
My eyes are basically
useless right now.
572
00:20:48,328 --> 00:20:49,594
I'm on it.
573
00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:51,062
Shotgun!
I called shotgun!
574
00:20:51,064 --> 00:20:52,847
- You're all nailed.
- I call sitting on your lap.
575
00:20:52,849 --> 00:20:54,232
You can't--I--double shotgun!
576
00:20:54,234 --> 00:20:55,483
We call double shotgun!
577
00:20:55,485 --> 00:20:56,801
How come people
don't do that more often?
578
00:20:56,803 --> 00:20:57,969
It's illegal.
579
00:20:57,971 --> 00:20:59,604
Raise your hand
if you want waffles.
580
00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:00,855
I'm eating waffles.
581
00:21:00,857 --> 00:21:02,857
Bacon and eggs,
please and thank you.
582
00:21:02,859 --> 00:21:05,693
♪ You belong somewhere
you feel free ♪
583
00:21:06,255 --> 00:21:12,896
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com