1
00:00:01,715 --> 00:00:03,529
What do you mean, you can't?
Look...
2
00:00:03,564 --> 00:00:06,194
I am throwing a farewell party
for my best friend, Ann Perkins.
3
00:00:06,212 --> 00:00:08,167
And if she casually
mentioned 3 years ago
4
00:00:08,173 --> 00:00:10,707
that she thought indoor
fireworks would be cool
5
00:00:10,730 --> 00:00:12,903
then guess what, you're gonna
give me indoor fireworks.
6
00:00:12,916 --> 00:00:16,240
Tonight's biggest surprise
is 5 years in the making.
7
00:00:16,263 --> 00:00:18,856
It all goes back to when I
first met my best friend.
8
00:00:18,877 --> 00:00:21,690
I'm here to talk about the
abandoned lot on Sullivan Street.
9
00:00:21,710 --> 00:00:24,783
I've been trying to get this
thing fixed for months,
10
00:00:24,801 --> 00:00:27,801
and it's government-owned and you
need to do something about it.
11
00:00:27,821 --> 00:00:29,554
- I will help you.
- Is that a promise?
12
00:00:29,581 --> 00:00:31,044
It's more than a promise.
13
00:00:31,521 --> 00:00:32,854
It's a pinky promise.
14
00:00:33,006 --> 00:00:35,546
That promise launched
a friendship so grand
15
00:00:35,566 --> 00:00:38,006
it takes 103 scrapbooks
to capture it.
16
00:00:38,053 --> 00:00:40,760
I have secretly arranged
to officially break ground
17
00:00:40,776 --> 00:00:42,560
on Pawnee commons
at midnight,
18
00:00:42,577 --> 00:00:45,868
fulfilling my pinky promise
that I made five years ago.
19
00:00:46,591 --> 00:00:49,271
Oh, ice cream
sandwich taste test!
20
00:00:49,948 --> 00:00:51,595
That was our biggest fight.
21
00:00:51,628 --> 00:00:53,301
- Hey, Knope.
- Harold.
22
00:00:53,326 --> 00:00:55,866
You're breaking ground on
the Pawnee commons tonight?
23
00:00:55,894 --> 00:00:57,482
Public works never
signed off on that.
24
00:00:57,495 --> 00:00:59,279
Look, your office was
giving me a hard time,
25
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:01,239
so I had to call
in a few favors.
26
00:01:01,257 --> 00:01:03,478
I don't like it when
people go over my head.
27
00:01:03,510 --> 00:01:06,203
Understood. I will make a note
of that. Would you like a treat?
28
00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:08,132
I run that department
29
00:01:08,172 --> 00:01:10,070
and I do not appreciate--
30
00:01:11,482 --> 00:01:12,922
- Damn, that's really good.
- Right?
31
00:01:12,935 --> 00:01:14,267
There's gonna be a lot
of these at the party.
32
00:01:14,286 --> 00:01:15,613
- You should come by.
- I kno-- I get it.
33
00:01:15,635 --> 00:01:16,728
I know what you're doing.
34
00:01:16,761 --> 00:01:19,094
And I still--is there a
little crunch in there?
35
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,121
- Hazelnut.
- Ooh.
36
00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:22,210
Ooh, right? See you tonight.
37
00:01:22,381 --> 00:01:24,574
Okay, well, let's go
set up this party.
38
00:01:24,609 --> 00:01:26,119
April, thank you.
39
00:01:26,281 --> 00:01:30,122
I know you may tease Ann, but deep down
inside I can tell that you really care.
40
00:01:30,321 --> 00:01:35,068
Ann's leaving town and saying
painful good-byes to loved ones.
41
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,748
Greatest day of my life!
42
00:01:38,863 --> 00:01:41,863
[Triumphant music]
43
00:01:41,889 --> 00:01:51,889
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
44
00:02:00,691 --> 00:02:03,262
Thank you all so much for
helping me with these boxes.
45
00:02:03,281 --> 00:02:06,116
I'm just a little behind because
every time I start, I get--
46
00:02:06,124 --> 00:02:07,486
[sobs]
47
00:02:07,511 --> 00:02:09,024
a little emotional.
48
00:02:09,058 --> 00:02:10,645
Hey, that box has
my name on it.
49
00:02:10,674 --> 00:02:12,267
Hey, this one has
my name on it.
50
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,320
This one has plates'
name on it.
51
00:02:14,850 --> 00:02:17,283
You have just found
your buddy boxes.
52
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,763
Each box contains a memento
of our friendship.
53
00:02:19,779 --> 00:02:22,032
I was gonna give them
to you later, but
54
00:02:22,053 --> 00:02:24,385
there is no time
like the present.
55
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:26,382
Fun pun alert.
56
00:02:27,432 --> 00:02:28,939
A bronzed hamburger.
57
00:02:28,951 --> 00:02:31,318
It's from our turkey versus
beef cook-off, remember?
58
00:02:31,341 --> 00:02:32,648
You were a worthy adversary.
59
00:02:32,675 --> 00:02:37,432
I would have preferred a regular hamburger
for eating, but this is very nice.
60
00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:40,551
2008 Indiana state
audit spreadsheets?
61
00:02:40,571 --> 00:02:43,371
Man, that year was insane!
62
00:02:43,389 --> 00:02:46,489
That was the year you went from
being an auditor to a legend.
63
00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:47,861
Whoa!
64
00:02:47,889 --> 00:02:50,782
A picture of me officiating
Leslie and Ben's wedding.
65
00:02:50,790 --> 00:02:53,383
And look, you can just
about see my head.
66
00:02:53,411 --> 00:02:54,751
Thank you so much.
67
00:02:54,785 --> 00:02:56,294
Snakejuice!
68
00:02:56,483 --> 00:02:58,223
I thought these were
destroyed by the FDA.
69
00:02:58,233 --> 00:03:00,301
I did have to go to a very
seedy location to find it,
70
00:03:00,323 --> 00:03:03,546
but now I know where to go to
place a bet on horse fighting.
71
00:03:06,143 --> 00:03:09,011
Okay, don't mention anything
about the groundbreaking to Ann.
72
00:03:09,038 --> 00:03:10,111
Repeat that back to me.
73
00:03:10,131 --> 00:03:12,495
Tell Ann about the groundbreaking,
frame Ann for murder,
74
00:03:12,515 --> 00:03:14,342
release a deadly virus
into the water supply.
75
00:03:14,359 --> 00:03:15,656
Good. [Gasps] Oh!
76
00:03:16,383 --> 00:03:18,156
Bon voyage, Ann.
77
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:21,032
- My God, this is amazing.
- That's sparkling cider.
78
00:03:21,049 --> 00:03:24,262
Why is there a New Year's Eve
countdown clock and the Easter bunny?
79
00:03:24,292 --> 00:03:26,130
I don't know when we're gonna
be able to visit each other,
80
00:03:26,149 --> 00:03:29,962
so just to be safe this party
is a celebration of every event
81
00:03:29,981 --> 00:03:31,282
that's gonna happen this year.
82
00:03:31,297 --> 00:03:34,597
Your birthday, New Year's,
Chinese New Year's, flag day.
83
00:03:34,623 --> 00:03:36,424
Ain't no party like
a Leslie Knope party
84
00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:39,056
'cause a Leslie Knope party
is actually 30 parties.
85
00:03:39,071 --> 00:03:40,984
Knope, you have
out-knoped yourself.
86
00:03:41,004 --> 00:03:43,651
[Mocking laugh] Seems like the
party's dying down. Weird.
87
00:03:43,676 --> 00:03:46,175
Ann, you probably wanna
head to Michigan forever,
88
00:03:46,188 --> 00:03:48,824
so I snuck into your house and
packed a bag for you. Bye.
89
00:03:48,845 --> 00:03:51,452
This is just a bunch
of bras and knives.
90
00:03:51,471 --> 00:03:53,384
And loose onions.
91
00:03:53,437 --> 00:03:56,039
Okay, party! Don't drink!
Have fun!
92
00:03:56,663 --> 00:04:00,311
Hey, so we have a little
farewell gift for you.
93
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,463
We all pitched in and
got you a gift card
94
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:04,960
from that home store,
"Pots and Pans."
95
00:04:05,298 --> 00:04:08,195
We have been on the prowl
for some amazing pots.
96
00:04:08,371 --> 00:04:11,276
Well, that card's
for three pans.
97
00:04:11,771 --> 00:04:13,624
Either way, this is great.
98
00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:15,847
You know what? We should
get to the good-bye party,
99
00:04:15,870 --> 00:04:17,297
although I know it's
mostly for Ann.
100
00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:19,704
Yeah, but there's, like,
one corner for you
101
00:04:19,723 --> 00:04:21,284
and it's just carob
cookies and berries.
102
00:04:21,308 --> 00:04:25,580
Carob cookies and berries are literally
my favorite dessert alternative.
103
00:04:25,587 --> 00:04:26,947
I'll go get changed.
104
00:04:28,423 --> 00:04:30,802
Man, he put a lot of
work into our presents.
105
00:04:30,823 --> 00:04:32,870
I feel kinda bad just
getting him a gift card.
106
00:04:32,893 --> 00:04:35,253
I also shook his hand. Twice.
107
00:04:35,272 --> 00:04:37,302
Anything more than that
would be excessive.
108
00:04:37,313 --> 00:04:38,792
Let's all put our heads
together and brainstorm.
109
00:04:38,819 --> 00:04:40,759
We gotta send this dude off
with the perfect gift.
110
00:04:40,786 --> 00:04:42,620
I say we start
with the three "C’s,"
111
00:04:42,647 --> 00:04:45,182
cashmere, concert tickets,
caboodles of cash.
112
00:04:45,211 --> 00:04:47,304
I feel like those are
perfect gifts for you.
113
00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:49,033
Those are perfect
gifts for anyone.
114
00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:51,091
Ugh, I wish you
guys were Donna!
115
00:04:52,985 --> 00:04:57,169
I'm 100% sure that I will not meet
another Donna Meagle in Michigan.
116
00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:58,660
I'm gonna miss you.
117
00:04:58,682 --> 00:05:00,475
You know, I'm gonna
miss you too, Perkins.
118
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,244
But now that you're officially
out of the dating pool,
119
00:05:02,263 --> 00:05:04,089
you know I'm gonna run
this town, right?
120
00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:05,755
Ooh.
121
00:05:06,629 --> 00:05:08,830
Oh, yeah, you do not
wanna go down that road.
122
00:05:08,852 --> 00:05:10,219
Trust me, I tried.
123
00:05:10,562 --> 00:05:12,292
- Hi, Stephen.
- Hey, Ann.
124
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,173
- Super cute baby bump.
- Thanks.
125
00:05:15,739 --> 00:05:17,220
Good looking out.
126
00:05:18,801 --> 00:05:20,974
Hey, Ron, have
you seen April?
127
00:05:20,994 --> 00:05:22,944
I've been mostly
focused on these ribs.
128
00:05:22,966 --> 00:05:27,153
By the way, you're out of Easter
ham and Thanksgiving turkey.
129
00:05:27,185 --> 00:05:28,025
Great party.
130
00:05:28,053 --> 00:05:29,533
[Phone rings]
131
00:05:29,568 --> 00:05:30,655
Hey.
132
00:05:30,674 --> 00:05:32,281
Are you on the lot?
Is everything okay?
133
00:05:32,292 --> 00:05:34,193
Uh, not really.
134
00:05:34,211 --> 00:05:36,918
Public works put up a giant
padlock on the fence
135
00:05:36,931 --> 00:05:39,831
and a sign that says
"No trespassing."
136
00:05:39,856 --> 00:05:41,423
That probably doesn't
apply to us.
137
00:05:41,436 --> 00:05:44,061
There's also a sign that says
"Especially Leslie Knope."
138
00:05:44,087 --> 00:05:46,260
Well, Leslie Knope is
a very common name.
139
00:05:46,284 --> 00:05:48,498
There's a professor in
Copenhagen named Leslie Knope.
140
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,188
They probably mean him.
141
00:05:50,422 --> 00:05:51,475
Do they mean the professor?
142
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:54,184
Yeah, there's a
picture of you also.
143
00:05:54,743 --> 00:05:57,036
And two huge security guards.
144
00:05:57,058 --> 00:05:58,858
Holy mother of Malia!
145
00:05:58,887 --> 00:05:59,960
And Sasha.
146
00:05:59,972 --> 00:06:03,392
I love them both equally. Okay, it's
that stupid Harold who's behind this.
147
00:06:03,412 --> 00:06:05,453
Get here and we
will make a plan.
148
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,644
How long do I
have to do this?
149
00:06:08,664 --> 00:06:10,677
Until I say so, Orin!
150
00:06:10,695 --> 00:06:12,319
Stay in character.
151
00:06:16,768 --> 00:06:19,052
Leslie can't watch anything
with Julie Andrews in it
152
00:06:19,065 --> 00:06:21,131
before bedtime because
it gets her too hyper.
153
00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:23,599
Okay. If Chris gets
cranky around noon,
154
00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:25,873
just stuff some chia
seeds into a fig--
155
00:06:25,893 --> 00:06:27,120
works every time.
156
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:28,836
Awesome, thank you.
157
00:06:28,857 --> 00:06:30,973
Wow, we really picked
some intense people
158
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,501
- to spend our lives with, huh?
- Yeah.
159
00:06:33,521 --> 00:06:34,939
Where's Leslie? I haven't
seen her in a while.
160
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:37,272
Oh, she's just running around
trying to pull off an elaborate,
161
00:06:37,291 --> 00:06:38,469
thoughtful surprise for you.
162
00:06:38,487 --> 00:06:40,174
- Of course.
- Where's Chris?
163
00:06:40,187 --> 00:06:42,586
I told him that One Headlight
By the Wallflowers
164
00:06:42,606 --> 00:06:46,111
isn't "dancing" music and he
said "Not with that attitude."
165
00:06:48,530 --> 00:06:49,998
Of course.
166
00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:53,614
Dude, Ann, you know
what I just remembered?
167
00:06:54,662 --> 00:06:56,209
We used to date.
[Chuckles]
168
00:06:56,236 --> 00:06:57,869
Yeah, we lived together
for two years.
169
00:06:57,882 --> 00:07:00,287
I know, it's crazy, right?
170
00:07:00,306 --> 00:07:02,825
Anyways, you're the best.
Have fun in Mexico.
171
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,691
Harold, it is Leslie Knope again. I
know you are screening my calls,
172
00:07:07,704 --> 00:07:09,064
but if you could call me bac--
[Sighs]
173
00:07:09,079 --> 00:07:10,726
And his voicemail is full.
174
00:07:10,967 --> 00:07:12,700
- Did you have any luck?
- Flipped through the bylaws.
175
00:07:12,712 --> 00:07:14,220
I don't think there's
anything I can do.
176
00:07:14,450 --> 00:07:16,398
What is the point of being
married to a city manager
177
00:07:16,423 --> 00:07:19,223
if he can't wield unfettered
power to crush my enemies?
178
00:07:19,245 --> 00:07:20,825
Hopefully there are
a few other reasons.
179
00:07:20,838 --> 00:07:22,492
- Yeah.
- Looks like we hit a wall.
180
00:07:22,507 --> 00:07:24,397
Oh, God.
[Sobs]
181
00:07:24,593 --> 00:07:26,846
April? Are you okay?
What's happening?
182
00:07:26,951 --> 00:07:30,434
I'm just so scared that this means
that Ann won't really leave.
183
00:07:33,127 --> 00:07:34,507
Life, huh?
184
00:07:34,731 --> 00:07:36,113
It's quite a ride.
185
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:39,820
Yes, Tom, it is.
186
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,822
I got you a
going-away present.
187
00:07:42,180 --> 00:07:43,866
I'm deleting you
from my phone.
188
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:46,393
You're finally free of
my animal magnetism.
189
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,647
Maybe one day years from now
when we're both old and
190
00:07:49,905 --> 00:07:52,459
Chris is dead, you'll
run into me somewhere.
191
00:07:52,477 --> 00:07:55,117
I'll be opening my
latest mega club.
192
00:07:55,156 --> 00:07:57,243
I'll see you there on
the street by yourself
193
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,568
and I'll tell the
bouncer/my bodyguard,
194
00:07:59,955 --> 00:08:03,433
"Hey, that woman's way too
old to get into this club,
195
00:08:03,708 --> 00:08:06,059
but why don't you let
her in the back?"
196
00:08:06,075 --> 00:08:07,992
That's very generous.
197
00:08:08,012 --> 00:08:09,632
Stay golden, sweetheart.
198
00:08:09,659 --> 00:08:11,806
- I'm gonna miss you too, Tom.
- Shh.
199
00:08:12,001 --> 00:08:14,386
And you're kind and
you're thoughtful
200
00:08:14,399 --> 00:08:16,792
and you're always such a
delight to have around.
201
00:08:16,811 --> 00:08:20,191
I am sure you are going to
be an incredible mother.
202
00:08:20,204 --> 00:08:21,872
Thanks, Larry. That's nice.
203
00:08:21,945 --> 00:08:23,424
Good-bye, Ann.
204
00:08:24,052 --> 00:08:27,113
I have enjoyed parts
of our time together.
205
00:08:27,734 --> 00:08:28,582
[Sobs]
206
00:08:28,607 --> 00:08:30,305
Oh, God, Ron.
207
00:08:32,764 --> 00:08:33,778
[Sobs]
208
00:08:33,803 --> 00:08:35,703
That was really something.
209
00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:38,501
Okay, what do we
have for Chris?
210
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,213
I got this City
of Pawnee mug.
211
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,120
Also, this cool jacket.
212
00:08:43,141 --> 00:08:44,681
No, I think that's
Chris's jacket.
213
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:46,687
Okay, good, then we
know he likes it.
214
00:08:46,698 --> 00:08:47,765
Catch up, Larry.
215
00:08:47,786 --> 00:08:51,259
Okay, I found some old receipts
from lunches we had together.
216
00:08:51,278 --> 00:08:54,018
- Is that anything?
- This is my contribution.
217
00:08:54,026 --> 00:08:55,073
It says "Ron."
218
00:08:55,097 --> 00:08:56,637
Hey, guys, what's going on?
219
00:08:56,657 --> 00:08:58,985
Oh, we're just giving you
a bunch of cool gifts.
220
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:02,125
- No, God--oh... God.
- Get your hopes up, Chris.
221
00:09:02,145 --> 00:09:05,522
Let's see what's in here.
Some assorted items.
222
00:09:05,991 --> 00:09:08,511
And... some pieces of paper.
223
00:09:08,719 --> 00:09:10,019
Boom, nailed it.
All right.
224
00:09:10,032 --> 00:09:11,952
Now we can start
enjoying this party.
225
00:09:14,010 --> 00:09:18,617
Leslie, this is the most incredible
event that has ever been thrown.
226
00:09:18,636 --> 00:09:21,022
There is a pilgrim line dancing
with a box of candies.
227
00:09:21,046 --> 00:09:22,800
Why do you look
so bummed out?
228
00:09:24,074 --> 00:09:27,424
We were planning a surprise
groundbreaking at Pawnee commons for you.
229
00:09:27,444 --> 00:09:30,244
You know, an actual beginning to the
project that brought us together.
230
00:09:30,267 --> 00:09:33,009
But now we can't do it because
Harold is such a jerk face.
231
00:09:33,025 --> 00:09:35,929
He put a barbed wire fence around
the lot and now it's not happening.
232
00:09:36,971 --> 00:09:38,018
I'm sorry, Ann.
233
00:09:38,033 --> 00:09:40,173
First of all,
don't apologize.
234
00:09:40,185 --> 00:09:42,737
And second of all, screw Harold.
235
00:09:42,764 --> 00:09:44,431
If I learned one thing
from Leslie Knope
236
00:09:44,444 --> 00:09:46,901
it is we do not take
"No" for an answer.
237
00:09:46,927 --> 00:09:48,800
Anything is possible if
we work hard enough.
238
00:09:48,812 --> 00:09:51,056
- Let's do it. - Oh, my God!
Ann Perkins to the rescue.
239
00:09:51,062 --> 00:09:52,864
Okay, hands in, everybody.
240
00:09:52,891 --> 00:09:54,024
One, two, three.
241
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,245
- Groundbreaking!
- Let's go! - Dark forces, arise!
242
00:09:56,257 --> 00:09:57,864
Okay, I didn't plan what
we were all gonna say.
243
00:09:57,883 --> 00:09:59,710
That's my bad. Here
we go, Ann. Let's go.
244
00:10:03,931 --> 00:10:05,504
Okay, now to ring the bell.
245
00:10:05,524 --> 00:10:06,917
Bust in unannounced.
246
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,142
Love it!
247
00:10:10,940 --> 00:10:12,590
- Harold.
- What the hell, Knope?
248
00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:15,493
We need the key to the fence that you
put up on the Sullivan Street lot.
249
00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:17,420
You snuck around
behind my back.
250
00:10:17,431 --> 00:10:19,319
I told you I didn't
like that. Forget it.
251
00:10:19,341 --> 00:10:20,892
Come on, Harold, look.
252
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,963
This is a great opportunity
you have right now.
253
00:10:22,978 --> 00:10:27,482
Just think of us as your genies who
can give you anything you want.
254
00:10:27,541 --> 00:10:28,873
Nothing gross.
255
00:10:29,021 --> 00:10:31,093
Okay, yeah, there is
something I want.
256
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,923
Super fizzy fruity pop.
257
00:10:34,182 --> 00:10:34,807
Sorry?
258
00:10:34,820 --> 00:10:37,785
Sweetums used to stock our
office with free sodas
259
00:10:37,791 --> 00:10:41,457
as a promotional thing, but that Kathryn
Pinewood lady just took 'em away.
260
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:45,230
If you can get us our free sodas
back, I'll get you a key.
261
00:10:45,403 --> 00:10:46,895
- Deal.
- Easy.
262
00:10:47,508 --> 00:10:50,741
It is not easy. Kathryn Pinewood is the
person on earth who hates me the most.
263
00:10:50,774 --> 00:10:53,089
Well, luckily, you're with the person
on earth who loves you the most.
264
00:10:53,108 --> 00:10:54,546
- Too cheesy?
- No, it's perfect.
265
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:56,221
I love you. Don't leave.
Come on.
266
00:10:57,334 --> 00:10:59,294
Donna, you are a
remarkable woman,
267
00:10:59,307 --> 00:11:02,021
and I just wanted to say that I've
always thought of you as family.
268
00:11:02,049 --> 00:11:04,609
I just wanna say that I've
always thought you were hot.
269
00:11:04,628 --> 00:11:06,367
Yes, I know. April--
270
00:11:06,390 --> 00:11:08,883
Yeah, you saw a lot
of potential in me,
271
00:11:08,921 --> 00:11:12,861
I'm like a daughter to you, and it
was a treat to watch me blossom.
272
00:11:12,896 --> 00:11:14,871
Blah blah blah, bye.
273
00:11:15,712 --> 00:11:18,332
That is remarkably close to
what I was going to say.
274
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,516
Also, I'm proud of you.
275
00:11:25,593 --> 00:11:27,027
Donna, are you
grabbing my butt?
276
00:11:27,047 --> 00:11:28,956
- Can you blame me?
- [Chuckles] No!
277
00:11:29,959 --> 00:11:31,552
Sorry, can't help you ladies.
278
00:11:31,572 --> 00:11:34,865
I don't have time for disgraced former
politicians and unmarried preggos.
279
00:11:34,878 --> 00:11:37,065
Oh, Kathryn,
always a delight.
280
00:11:37,081 --> 00:11:38,501
Listen, I know that
you and Leslie
281
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,107
have had your disagreements
in the past,
282
00:11:40,113 --> 00:11:42,950
but we really need the key,
and we can only get the key
283
00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:44,483
if we get the sodas. Please?
284
00:11:44,502 --> 00:11:46,117
I don't see why I should
do you any favors.
285
00:11:46,143 --> 00:11:49,481
I mean, if you were still
a city councilor, maybe.
286
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:52,694
But I seem to remember you
were recalled. Is that right?
287
00:11:52,721 --> 00:11:54,534
- How dare yo--
- Okay, Leslie.
288
00:11:54,554 --> 00:11:56,614
Please. It's not worth it.
289
00:11:56,875 --> 00:11:57,808
For you.
290
00:11:58,276 --> 00:12:00,124
- For me, I don't care.
- [Gasps]
291
00:12:00,394 --> 00:12:02,421
- What the hell?
- Yeah, Pinewood, that's right.
292
00:12:02,437 --> 00:12:04,250
I'm pregnant and I have
you in a headlock.
293
00:12:04,269 --> 00:12:06,242
And if you try to fight
back, I will sue you.
294
00:12:06,257 --> 00:12:09,024
Unless you tell us how to
get those sodas right now.
295
00:12:09,046 --> 00:12:10,621
Okay, fine.
296
00:12:10,778 --> 00:12:12,651
Sweetums
has been desperately trying
297
00:12:12,663 --> 00:12:15,774
to get a local celebrity spokesman
to endorse their new sports drink.
298
00:12:15,790 --> 00:12:19,175
So if you can make that happen somehow,
they'll give you whatever you want.
299
00:12:20,381 --> 00:12:21,915
Damn, Perkins.
300
00:12:22,249 --> 00:12:23,542
Okay,
301
00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:25,552
who does Sweetums want
as their spokesperson?
302
00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:28,818
They already tried to get me to endorse
that sports drink. I said "No."
303
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,710
They want me dunking
on the label.
304
00:12:30,723 --> 00:12:31,987
When is this town gonna realize
305
00:12:32,007 --> 00:12:34,406
that I'm more than a former
high school basketball star?
306
00:12:34,418 --> 00:12:37,606
I-I don't think this new sports
drink is even about basketball.
307
00:12:37,636 --> 00:12:41,518
It's called "Sweetums dunktastic
three-point B-ball blast"
308
00:12:41,990 --> 00:12:44,506
the slogan is "It's all
about basketball."
309
00:12:45,192 --> 00:12:48,553
I'm sorry, you're gonna have to find
yourself some other famous pawneean.
310
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:50,993
[Both gasp]
311
00:12:51,636 --> 00:12:53,737
We know that you were already
approached by Sweetums
312
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:56,165
and you said "No," but is there
any way you would reconsider?
313
00:12:56,197 --> 00:12:59,786
I'm sorry, Miss Knope. There is such
a thing as journalistic integrity,
314
00:12:59,805 --> 00:13:04,174
and it is something that I have
as a journalist with integrity.
315
00:13:04,191 --> 00:13:05,758
It's really important, Perd.
316
00:13:05,771 --> 00:13:07,945
Please?
Come on.
317
00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:09,198
For old time's sake.
318
00:13:09,218 --> 00:13:12,436
Well, the story of that
appeal is it was heartfelt.
319
00:13:12,676 --> 00:13:17,272
And in response to that
appeal, I respond: Okay.
320
00:13:18,716 --> 00:13:20,467
For old time's sake?
321
00:13:20,502 --> 00:13:23,129
Does that mea--no!
322
00:13:23,161 --> 00:13:25,796
- Ann, you tricky minx.
- Yep.
323
00:13:25,954 --> 00:13:27,907
- I went on a date with Perd.
- What?
324
00:13:27,935 --> 00:13:30,788
It was during that "explore my
freedom as a single woman" phase.
325
00:13:30,812 --> 00:13:32,811
- Wow.
- We just had a drink.
326
00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:35,997
And at the end he said, "I
am going to kiss you now
327
00:13:36,021 --> 00:13:38,134
by putting my mouth
on your mouth."
328
00:13:38,162 --> 00:13:40,668
- And then I ran away.
- It was absolutely the right call.
329
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:43,088
Well, we could just
tell him the truth that
330
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:45,141
we feel bad that we didn't
get him anything nice.
331
00:13:45,161 --> 00:13:45,924
[Chuckles]
332
00:13:45,949 --> 00:13:47,889
Tell the truth?
That's hilarious. No.
333
00:13:47,909 --> 00:13:49,709
We tell him we had
the perfect gift,
334
00:13:49,728 --> 00:13:51,442
but we were robbed
at gunpoint.
335
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:54,483
"Chris, he had a gun.
He took all the gifts."
336
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,714
Now Chris feels bad,
he's buying us gifts.
337
00:13:56,740 --> 00:13:58,947
Next thing you know,
Tommy's got a new watch.
338
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:03,068
Again, I don't see the problem.
I shook the man's hand. Twice.
339
00:14:03,086 --> 00:14:06,616
Guys, look what I got at
the president's day booth.
340
00:14:07,522 --> 00:14:11,125
Ask not what your
country can do for you.
341
00:14:11,132 --> 00:14:12,665
[Laughs]
342
00:14:12,892 --> 00:14:14,366
From Family Guy, right?
343
00:14:14,379 --> 00:14:16,786
Listen, Chris, we have
to tell you something.
344
00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:20,115
We feel bad because you got
us such thoughtful gifts
345
00:14:20,135 --> 00:14:24,494
and we got you three pans
and a bag of nothing.
346
00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,182
Guys, I don't need
anything from you.
347
00:14:27,188 --> 00:14:29,400
My buddy boxes
are about the past,
348
00:14:29,419 --> 00:14:31,941
but let's focus
on the future.
349
00:14:31,947 --> 00:14:33,630
Because we're always
gonna be friends.
350
00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:38,233
And just the fact that you feel bad
about your bag of nothing proves that.
351
00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:39,501
To the future.
352
00:14:39,516 --> 00:14:40,796
- Hear, hear.
- To the future.
353
00:14:40,817 --> 00:14:42,444
- To the future.
- Cheers.
354
00:14:42,450 --> 00:14:44,387
- I have an idea.
- Future.
355
00:14:47,306 --> 00:14:48,698
Don't you ladies ever knock?
356
00:14:48,723 --> 00:14:51,853
No. Okay, so we got Perd Hapley
to sign on with Sweetums,
357
00:14:51,876 --> 00:14:53,399
which means that you
get your sodas back,
358
00:14:53,428 --> 00:14:54,729
which means that
we get our key.
359
00:14:54,749 --> 00:14:57,678
Okay? Everything's here in writing.
Now call off your guards.
360
00:14:59,251 --> 00:15:01,013
Okay. Fine.
361
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:03,903
You two are a couple of real
pains in the ass. You know that?
362
00:15:03,923 --> 00:15:06,686
Harold, your tiny brain
could not understand this,
363
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:08,016
but that is the best compliment
364
00:15:08,036 --> 00:15:10,912
you could ever give the two
women standing in front of you.
365
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,245
Bye, Harold.
366
00:15:12,582 --> 00:15:15,022
- Victory at last.
- Whoo!
367
00:15:15,178 --> 00:15:16,971
- All right.
- You're all set.
368
00:15:16,993 --> 00:15:20,806
Okay, I am gonna call the official
ceremonial ribbon cutting guy,
369
00:15:20,827 --> 00:15:22,167
'cause I think we may
have missed him.
370
00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:23,922
[Hisses]
371
00:15:24,003 --> 00:15:25,844
- What are you doing?
- It's for the raccoons.
372
00:15:25,882 --> 00:15:28,725
You have to hiss really loud and stomp
your feet so they'll leave you alone.
373
00:15:28,752 --> 00:15:31,452
And if one comes close, make yourself
really large like a puffer fish.
374
00:15:31,477 --> 00:15:32,744
[Hisses]
375
00:15:32,771 --> 00:15:36,077
Pawnee raccoons. That is
one thing I will not miss.
376
00:15:36,099 --> 00:15:39,593
Well, Michigan has wolverines.
Maybe they'll eat your toes.
377
00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:43,219
So how long do you think
you'll stay in Pawnee for?
378
00:15:43,238 --> 00:15:44,723
I don't know.
379
00:15:45,099 --> 00:15:46,546
We like it here.
380
00:15:46,591 --> 00:15:49,255
I made Andy promise that someday
we'll move to Transylvania,
381
00:15:49,277 --> 00:15:51,933
but that probably won't
happen till we're, like, 100.
382
00:15:52,317 --> 00:15:54,010
Well, for what it's worth,
383
00:15:54,029 --> 00:15:56,504
I'm really happy that you
and Andy are married.
384
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:57,656
Why?
385
00:15:58,369 --> 00:16:02,631
Why? Because I love
him and I love you.
386
00:16:02,858 --> 00:16:04,490
Why wouldn't I be happy?
387
00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:06,965
[Mumbles] I love you too.
388
00:16:07,272 --> 00:16:08,513
What's that?
389
00:16:09,076 --> 00:16:10,519
[Mumbles] I love you too.
390
00:16:10,832 --> 00:16:12,300
I-I couldn't--I couldn't
quite hear you.
391
00:16:12,317 --> 00:16:14,832
Please don't make
me say it. Please.
392
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:17,860
My going-away present to you
393
00:16:17,882 --> 00:16:21,950
will be that I do not make you
audibly say that you love me.
394
00:16:22,216 --> 00:16:23,516
Thank you.
395
00:16:27,113 --> 00:16:29,244
- What's happening here?
- Okay, Leslie's coming back.
396
00:16:29,264 --> 00:16:31,199
- Get off me, wench!
- Did I miss a nice moment?
397
00:16:31,211 --> 00:16:32,219
- No.
- Yes, you did.
398
00:16:32,238 --> 00:16:34,056
Oh, good.
399
00:16:36,973 --> 00:16:39,820
Guys, what are you
doing here? Come in.
400
00:16:40,013 --> 00:16:42,326
You caught me before my
first run of the day.
401
00:16:42,407 --> 00:16:46,039
I call it my "beat the sun" run.
It's a race between me and the sun.
402
00:16:46,066 --> 00:16:48,433
Well, we got one
more gift for you.
403
00:16:48,477 --> 00:16:51,657
It's quarter-sawn zebra wood
adjoined by floating tenons
404
00:16:51,681 --> 00:16:54,001
to the black walnut
corner posts.
405
00:16:54,099 --> 00:16:57,964
Finished with a wiping varnish that's
a secret Swanson family recipe.
406
00:16:58,179 --> 00:17:01,766
Handmade at my woodshop,
and you are correct.
407
00:17:01,784 --> 00:17:03,164
It is gorgeous.
408
00:17:03,274 --> 00:17:05,507
You're starting a new life
with your new family,
409
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:10,004
so it's an empty buddy box to fill
with memories for your little buddy.
410
00:17:10,037 --> 00:17:11,965
Or... twizzlers.
411
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,104
That's the beautiful
thing about a box.
412
00:17:14,265 --> 00:17:16,840
We all burned our
initials in, see?
413
00:17:18,053 --> 00:17:20,943
Wait a minute,
who's G-J-L-G-G?
414
00:17:21,113 --> 00:17:23,774
That's Garry Jerry Larry
Gergich Gengurch.
415
00:17:23,986 --> 00:17:27,108
I burned in all my names. I
really--I didn't know what to do.
416
00:17:27,685 --> 00:17:29,299
Well, um...
[Tears up]
417
00:17:29,384 --> 00:17:30,655
Thank you.
418
00:17:31,893 --> 00:17:35,057
Um, this tear, um,
419
00:17:35,086 --> 00:17:39,139
caused by the overwhelming
thoughtfulness of my friends
420
00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:41,788
will be my baby's first memory.
421
00:17:42,877 --> 00:17:45,150
Salt water will
warp the wood.
422
00:17:45,186 --> 00:17:48,745
So keep your tears in your
eyes where they belong.
423
00:17:49,441 --> 00:17:50,881
Will do, Ron Swanson.
424
00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:55,551
Can I still call you when I have
thoughts on Jennifer Aniston's future?
425
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:56,827
Not if I call you first.
426
00:17:56,833 --> 00:18:00,220
And can we still be on the phone for
every state of the Union address
427
00:18:00,235 --> 00:18:02,742
and every Oscar
red carpet coverage
428
00:18:02,761 --> 00:18:05,234
and every single
viewing of Tootsie?
429
00:18:05,253 --> 00:18:06,502
Of course.
430
00:18:06,972 --> 00:18:08,764
Oh, Ann Perkins.
431
00:18:09,111 --> 00:18:11,377
You perfect sunflower.
432
00:18:12,117 --> 00:18:14,064
You totally changed
me, you know?
433
00:18:14,084 --> 00:18:17,451
You taught me how
to balance my life,
434
00:18:17,477 --> 00:18:19,838
- how to be patient.
- Mm...
435
00:18:19,858 --> 00:18:21,751
- How to be more patient.
- Yeah, that's better.
436
00:18:21,764 --> 00:18:25,759
How to throw bureaucratic caution
to the wind when it came to Ben.
437
00:18:25,926 --> 00:18:30,997
But most importantly, you taught me
that I can't pull off a tulip skirt.
438
00:18:31,023 --> 00:18:32,707
It's just not your shape.
439
00:18:32,738 --> 00:18:35,089
[Laughter]
440
00:18:37,675 --> 00:18:40,915
Well, I don't think this ceremonial
ribbon cutting guy is gonna make it.
441
00:18:40,936 --> 00:18:45,950
Either he flaked or he tripped and impaled
himself on his own giant scissors.
442
00:18:46,097 --> 00:18:47,847
We wait for no man.
443
00:18:47,863 --> 00:18:49,016
Let's do this.
444
00:18:49,030 --> 00:18:51,684
Both: One, two, three!
445
00:18:51,709 --> 00:18:53,037
[Squeals]
446
00:18:53,702 --> 00:18:55,869
[Both cheer]
447
00:18:57,198 --> 00:18:59,473
All right, I got my park.
That's all I wanted from you.
448
00:18:59,499 --> 00:19:00,498
Friendship over.
449
00:19:00,525 --> 00:19:02,253
[Laughter]
450
00:19:02,407 --> 00:19:04,107
Don't even joke
about that, Ann.
451
00:19:08,089 --> 00:19:10,238
It was your idea
to get me that box.
452
00:19:10,259 --> 00:19:13,781
- Ah, it was a group effort.
- But it had that trademark
453
00:19:13,798 --> 00:19:17,041
Ben Wyatt mix of thoughtful
and resourceful.
454
00:19:17,962 --> 00:19:21,966
You are literally the best
friend that I will ever have.
455
00:19:23,457 --> 00:19:24,855
You too, man.
456
00:19:31,669 --> 00:19:33,072
Leslie Knope.
457
00:19:33,301 --> 00:19:34,128
Chris Traeger.
458
00:19:34,149 --> 00:19:38,236
I just wanna say that getting to
know you and watching you work
459
00:19:38,623 --> 00:19:41,945
has been one of the greatest
experiences of my life--
460
00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:44,674
that and working with
Dr. Richard Nygard.
461
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:47,056
Sure, and I just
want you to know
462
00:19:47,075 --> 00:19:51,410
that I thought there was no man on
earth good enough for Ann Perkins.
463
00:19:52,036 --> 00:19:53,676
- And I still think that.
- Right.
464
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:57,199
But if there is no one
actually good enough for her,
465
00:19:57,234 --> 00:19:59,272
you are pretty damn close.
466
00:20:04,988 --> 00:20:06,732
[Exhales]
467
00:20:08,593 --> 00:20:11,380
Okay, well, this is normal.
468
00:20:11,416 --> 00:20:12,623
No big deal.
469
00:20:12,642 --> 00:20:14,402
- Drive safe.
- We will.
470
00:20:14,415 --> 00:20:18,508
I packed you some sandwiches and
some caffeine free iced tea.
471
00:20:18,530 --> 00:20:22,198
So--oh, and there's a mix CD that I
made already loaded in your car.
472
00:20:22,746 --> 00:20:25,318
There's a lot of Sarah McLanahan,
so, Chris, I apologize.
473
00:20:25,337 --> 00:20:27,053
Things are gonna
get emotional.
474
00:20:27,599 --> 00:20:28,957
[Chuckles]
475
00:20:30,628 --> 00:20:32,059
I love you.
476
00:20:33,256 --> 00:20:34,695
I love you too.
477
00:20:39,399 --> 00:20:40,861
[Engine starts]
478
00:20:48,951 --> 00:20:50,499
Breakfast, Knope?
479
00:20:51,622 --> 00:20:53,114
Oh, I don't know.
480
00:20:54,528 --> 00:20:55,795
Come on.
481
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:59,976
There has never been a sadness that
can't be cured by breakfast food.
482
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,014
That's fair.
483
00:21:02,745 --> 00:21:04,092
Someone else is gonna
have to drive though.
484
00:21:04,098 --> 00:21:06,199
My eyes are basically
useless right now.
485
00:21:06,226 --> 00:21:07,213
I'm on it.
486
00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:08,471
Shotgun!
I called shotgun!
487
00:21:08,497 --> 00:21:10,418
- You're all nailed.
- I call sitting on your lap.
488
00:21:10,433 --> 00:21:12,966
You can't--I--double shotgun!
We call double shotgun!
489
00:21:12,989 --> 00:21:15,698
- How come people don't do
that more often? - It's illegal.
490
00:21:15,711 --> 00:21:18,438
- Raise you hand if you want
waffles. - I'm eating waffles.
491
00:21:18,474 --> 00:21:23,637
- Bacon and eggs, please and thank you.
♪You belong somewhere you feel free ♪
492
00:21:24,462 --> 00:21:31,462
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www.addic7ed.com
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