1
00:00:00,967 --> 00:00:03,299
LESLIE: What do you mean,
you can't?
2
00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:04,598
Look, I am throwing
a farewell party
3
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:05,865
for my best friend, Ann Perkins.
4
00:00:05,972 --> 00:00:07,030
And if she casually mentioned
5
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:08,472
three years ago that she thought
6
00:00:08,541 --> 00:00:10,031
indoor fireworks would be cool,
7
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,635
then guess what, you're going
to give me indoor fireworks.
8
00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:15,647
Tonight's biggest surprise
is five years in the making.
9
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:18,381
It all goes back to when
I first met my best friend.
10
00:00:18,651 --> 00:00:19,675
I'm here to talk about
11
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:21,152
the abandoned lot
on Sullivan Street.
12
00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:23,854
I've been trying to get this
thing fixed for months.
13
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:25,923
And it's government-owned,
14
00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:27,491
and you need to do
something about it.
15
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,187
I will help you.
Is that a promise?
16
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,886
It's more than a promise.
17
00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:32,461
It's a pinky promise.
18
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,132
That promise launched
a friendship so grand,
19
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,863
it takes 103 scrapbooks
to capture it.
20
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,939
I have secretly arranged
to officially break ground
21
00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:42,201
on Pawnee Commons at midnight,
22
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:45,138
fulfilling my pinky promise
that I made five years ago.
23
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:48,137
Aw, Ice Cream
Sandwich Taste Test.
24
00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:51,082
That was our biggest fight.
25
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:52,942
Hey, Knope.
Harold.
26
00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:55,487
You're breaking ground on
the Pawnee Commons tonight?
27
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,216
Public Works never
signed off on that.
28
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:58,780
Look, your office was
giving me a hard time,
29
00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:00,951
so I had to call
in a few favors.
30
00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:03,222
I don't like it when
people go over my head.
31
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:05,730
Understood. I will make a note of that.
Would you like a treat?
32
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,795
I run that department,
33
00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:09,232
and I do not appreciate...
34
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:12,332
Damn, that's really good.
Right?
35
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:13,531
There's going to be a lot
of these at the party.
36
00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:14,630
You should come by.
37
00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:16,436
I get it.
I know what you're doing.
38
00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:17,601
And I still...
39
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:19,371
Is there a little crunch in there?
Hazelnut.
40
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:21,377
Oh. Oh, right? See you tonight.
41
00:01:21,981 --> 00:01:24,211
Okay. Well, let's go
set up this party.
42
00:01:24,317 --> 00:01:25,807
April, thank you.
43
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:27,179
I know you may tease Ann,
44
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,517
but deep down inside, I can
tell that you really care.
45
00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:31,284
Ann's leaving town...
46
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:34,491
And saying painful
goodbyes to loved ones.
47
00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:37,391
Greatest day of my life.
48
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:50,000
Ripped By mstoll
49
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:02,854
Thank you all so much for
helping me with these boxes.
50
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,080
I'm just a little behind.
51
00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:05,818
Because every time I start,
52
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:06,916
I get... (SOBBING)
53
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:08,487
A little emotional.
54
00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:10,825
Hey, that box has my name on it.
55
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:11,886
Hey, this one has my name on it.
56
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:14,296
This one has Plates' name on it.
57
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:16,398
You have just found
your Buddy Boxes.
58
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,435
Each box contains
a memento of our friendship.
59
00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:21,303
I was going to give
them to you later,
60
00:02:21,774 --> 00:02:22,866
but there is no time
61
00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:24,273
like the present.
62
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:25,333
Fun pun alert.
63
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,538
A bronzed hamburger.
64
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:30,981
It's from our turkey versus
beef cook-off. Remember?
65
00:02:31,050 --> 00:02:32,312
You were a worthy adversary.
66
00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:33,477
I would have preferred
67
00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:35,077
a regular hamburger for eating,
68
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,089
but this is very nice.
69
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,058
2008 Indiana State Audit
spreadsheets?
70
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:43,124
Man, that year was insane.
71
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:44,857
That was the year you went
from being an auditor
72
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:46,091
to a legend.
73
00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:47,632
Whoa!
74
00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:49,858
A picture of me officiating
Leslie and Ben's wedding.
75
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,232
And look, you can
just about see my head.
76
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:54,438
Thank you so much.
77
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:55,838
Snake Juice.
78
00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:57,871
I thought these were
destroyed by the FDA.
79
00:02:57,944 --> 00:02:59,969
I did have to go to a very
seedy location to find it.
80
00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:03,207
But, now I know where to go to
place a bet on horse fighting.
81
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:06,782
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
82
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:07,911
Okay, don't mention
anything about
83
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:09,784
the groundbreaking to Ann.
Repeat that back to me.
84
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:10,845
Tell Ann about
the groundbreaking,
85
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,084
frame Ann for murder,
86
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:13,785
release a deadly virus
into the water supply.
87
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,760
Good. (GASPS) Oh.
88
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,029
Bon Voyage, Ann.
89
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:19,564
My God. This is amazing.
90
00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:20,621
That's sparkling cider.
91
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,794
Why is there a New Year Eve countdown
clock and the Easter Bunny?
92
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,701
I don't know when we're going
to be able to visit each other.
93
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:29,503
So, just to be safe, this party
is a celebration of every event
94
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:30,736
that's going to
happen this year.
95
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:34,311
Your birthday, New Year's,
Chinese New Year's, Flag Day.
96
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,041
"Ain't no party like
a Leslie Knope party,
97
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:38,549
"because a Leslie Knope party
is actually 30 parties."
98
00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:40,843
Knope, you have
out Knoped yourself.
99
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:43,286
Ha-ha, seems like the
party's dying down. Weird.
100
00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:45,551
Ann, you probably want to
head to Michigan forever.
101
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:46,853
So, I snuck into your house
102
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,086
and packed a bag for you.
Goodbye.
103
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:51,096
This is just a bunch
of bras and knives.
104
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,791
And loose onions.
105
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,526
Okay. Party. Don't drink.
Have fun.
106
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:59,132
Hey. So, we have a little
farewell gift for you.
107
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:02,097
We all pitched in
and got you a gift card
108
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,268
from that home store,
Pots and Pans.
109
00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:07,538
We have been on the prowl
for some amazing pots.
110
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,411
Well, that card's
for three pans.
111
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:12,817
Either way, this is great.
112
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,483
You know what? We should
get to the goodbye party.
113
00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:16,954
Although, I know
it's mostly for Ann.
114
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,991
Yeah. But there's, like,
one corner for you,
115
00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:20,958
and it's just carob
cookies and berries.
116
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,856
Carob cookies and
berries are literally
117
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,988
my favorite dessert alternative.
118
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,630
I'll go get changed.
119
00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:30,228
He put a lot of work
into our presents.
120
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,495
I feel kind of bad just
getting him a gift card.
121
00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:34,503
I also shook
his hand. Twice.
122
00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:36,572
Anything more than that
would be excessive.
123
00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:38,333
Let all put our heads
together and brainstorm.
124
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:40,402
We've got to send this dude
off with the perfect gift.
125
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,038
I say we start
with the three C's.
126
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,773
Cashmere, concert tickets,
caboodles of cash.
127
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,919
I feel like those are
perfect gifts for you.
128
00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:50,544
Those are perfect gifts for anyone.
Ugh! I wish you guys were Donna.
129
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,085
ANN: I'm a hundred
percent sure
130
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:57,095
that I will not meet another
Donna Meagle in Michigan.
131
00:04:57,163 --> 00:04:58,221
I'm going to miss you.
132
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,027
You know I'm going to
miss you, too, Perkins.
133
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,794
But now that you're officially
out of the dating pool,
134
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,733
you know I'm going to
run this town. Right?
135
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:05,326
Mmm.
136
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,707
Oh, yeah, you do not want to go
down that road. Trust me. I tried.
137
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,232
Hi, Stephen.
138
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:12,971
Hey, Ann.
Super cute baby bump.
139
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:14,205
Thanks.
140
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:16,745
Good looking out.
141
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,511
Hey, Ron.
Have you seen April?
142
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,585
I've been mostly
focused on these ribs.
143
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,850
By the way,
you're out of Easter ham
144
00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:27,654
and Thanksgiving turkey.
Great party.
145
00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:29,217
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
146
00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:31,923
Hey, are you on the lot?
Is everything okay?
147
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,795
APRIL: Uh, not really.
148
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,959
Public Works put
up a giant padlock
149
00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:38,128
on the fence,
and a sign that says,
150
00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:39,432
"No Trespassing."
151
00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:41,130
That probably
doesn't apply to us.
152
00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:43,869
There also a sign that says,
"Especially Leslie Knope."
153
00:05:43,943 --> 00:05:45,934
Well, Leslie Knope
is a very common name.
154
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:48,172
There a Professor in
Copenhagen named Leslie Knope.
155
00:05:48,247 --> 00:05:49,874
They probably mean him.
156
00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:51,007
Do they mean the professor?
157
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,584
Yeah, there's
a picture of you, also.
158
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,354
And two huge security guards.
159
00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,080
Holy mother of Malia.
160
00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,650
And Sasha.
161
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:00,715
I love them both equally.
162
00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:02,988
Okay. It's that stupid
Harold who's behind this.
163
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:05,063
Get here and
we will make a plan.
164
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:08,365
How long do I have to do this?
165
00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:11,494
Until I say so, Orin.
Stay in character.
166
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:12,832
(SIGHS)
167
00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:19,510
Leslie can't watch anything with
Julie Andrews in it before bedtime
168
00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:20,841
because it gets her too hyper.
169
00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:23,347
Okay. If Chris gets
cranky around noon,
170
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:26,681
just stuff some chia seeds into a fig.
Works every time.
171
00:06:26,753 --> 00:06:28,243
Awesome. Thank you.
172
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:32,382
Wow, we really picked some intense
people to spend our lives with, huh?
173
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:33,447
Yeah.
174
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,924
Where's Leslie? I haven't
seen her in a while.
175
00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:36,325
Oh, she's just running
around trying to pull off
176
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,296
an elaborate, thoughtful
surprise for you.
177
00:06:38,364 --> 00:06:39,991
Of course.
Where's Chris?
178
00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:43,626
I told him that One Headlight by the
Wallflowers isn't dancing music
179
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:45,637
and he said,
"Not with that attitude."
180
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:48,363
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
181
00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:49,738
Of course.
182
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:53,273
Dude. Ann. You know
what I just remembered?
183
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,403
We used to date.
184
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,776
Yeah, we lived together
for two years.
185
00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,750
I know. It's crazy, right?
186
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:02,177
Anyways, you're the best.
Have fun in Mexico.
187
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:06,386
Harold,
it is Leslie Knope again.
188
00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:07,585
I know you are
screening my calls.
189
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:08,718
But if you could
call me back... (SIGHS)
190
00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:11,588
And his voicemail is full.
Did you have any luck?
191
00:07:11,664 --> 00:07:13,962
I flipped through the bylaws. I don't
think there's anything I can do.
192
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:16,092
(SCOFFS) What is the point of
being married to a City Manager
193
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:19,036
if he can't wield unfettered
power to crush my enemies?
194
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,161
Hopefully, there are
a few other reasons.
195
00:07:20,239 --> 00:07:21,228
Yeah.
196
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:22,399
Looks like we hit a wall.
197
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:24,466
Oh, God. (SOBBING)
198
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:26,774
April? Are you okay?
What happening?
199
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:30,280
I'm just so scared that this means
that Ann won't really leave.
200
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,587
Life, huh?
It's quite a ride.
201
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,758
Yes, Tom. It is.
202
00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:41,951
I got you a going away present.
203
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,586
I'm deleting you from my phone.
(BEEPS)
204
00:07:44,263 --> 00:07:46,163
You're finally free of
my animal magnetism.
205
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:47,526
Maybe one day, years from now,
206
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,694
when we're both old
and Chris is dead,
207
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,260
you'll run into me somewhere.
208
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,704
I'll be opening
my latest mega club.
209
00:07:55,107 --> 00:07:57,234
And I'll see you there on
the street, by yourself.
210
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,403
I'll tell the bouncer,
slash my bodyguard,
211
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:03,313
"Hey, that woman's way too
old to get into this club.
212
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:05,509
"But why don't you
let her in the back?"
213
00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:07,508
That's very generous.
214
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:08,882
Stay golden, sweetheart.
215
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,813
I'm going to miss you, too, Tom.
(SHUSHING)
216
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:14,119
You're kind and
you're thoughtful,
217
00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:16,286
and you're always such a
delight to have around.
218
00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:19,762
I am sure you are going to
be an incredible mother.
219
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:21,766
Thanks, Larry.
That nice.
220
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,096
Goodbye, Ann.
221
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:26,967
I have enjoyed parts
of our time together.
222
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,767
(SOBBING)
Oh, God, Ron.
223
00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:35,542
(TEARFULLY)
That was really something.
224
00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:38,342
BEN: Okay. What do
we have for Chris?
225
00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:41,019
I got this City of Pawnee mug.
226
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:43,021
Also, this cool jacket.
227
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,556
No, I think that Chris' jacket.
228
00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:46,182
Okay, good.
Then, we know he likes it.
229
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,556
Catch up, Larry.
230
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:51,129
Okay. I found some old receipts
from lunches we had together.
231
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,186
Is that anything?
232
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,790
This is my contribution.
It says "Ron."
233
00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:56,761
Hey, guys.
What's going on?
234
00:08:56,836 --> 00:08:59,168
Oh, we're just giving you
a bunch of cool gifts.
235
00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:00,535
Oh, God.
236
00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:02,130
Get your hopes up, Chris.
237
00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:08,077
Let's see what's in here. I see assorted
items and some pieces of paper.
238
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:12,516
Boom. Nailed it. All right. Now,
we can start enjoying this party.
239
00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:18,455
Leslie, this is the most incredible
event that has ever been thrown.
240
00:09:18,524 --> 00:09:20,685
There is a pilgrim line dancing
with a box of candies.
241
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,853
Why do you look so bummed out?
242
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:27,193
We were planning a surprise
groundbreaking at Pawnee Commons for you.
243
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:30,197
You know, an actual beginning to the
project that brought us together.
244
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:32,794
But now we can't do it, because
Harold is such a jerk face
245
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:36,808
he put a barbed-wire fence around the
lot, and now it's not happening.
246
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:37,934
I'm sorry, Ann.
247
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:42,208
First of all, don't apologize.
And second of all, screw Harold.
248
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,309
If I learned one thing
from Leslie Knope,
249
00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:46,647
it is we do not take
"no" for an answer.
250
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:49,310
Anything is possible if we
work hard enough. Let's do it.
251
00:09:49,388 --> 00:09:51,379
Oh, my God. Ann Perkins
to the rescue. Okay.
252
00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:53,822
Hands in, everybody.
One, two, three.
253
00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:55,891
Let's go.
Dark forces arise.
254
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,190
Okay, I didn't plan what
we were all going to say.
255
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,287
That's my bad.
256
00:09:58,364 --> 00:09:59,456
Here we go, Ann.
Let's go.
257
00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:05,401
Okay. Knock
or ring the bell?
258
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:06,798
Bust in unannounced.
259
00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:07,930
Love it.
260
00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:12,704
Harold.
What the hell, Knope?
261
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:15,405
We need the key to the fence that you
put up on the Sullivan Street lot.
262
00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:17,343
You snuck around behind my back.
263
00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:19,316
I told you I didn't like that.
Forget it.
264
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,749
Come on, Harold, look.
265
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,947
This is a great opportunity
you have right now.
266
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:25,616
Just think of us as your genies
267
00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:28,251
who can give you anything you want.
Nothing gross.
268
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:30,755
Okay, yeah.
There is something I want.
269
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:33,621
Super Fizzy Fruity Pop.
270
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,760
Sorry? Sweetums used
to stock our office
271
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:38,701
with free sodas,
as a promotional thing,
272
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:41,433
but that Kathryn Pinewood
lady just took them away.
273
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:44,976
If you can get us our free sodas
back, I'll get you a key.
274
00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:46,910
Deal.
Easy.
275
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:48,438
It is not easy.
276
00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:50,709
Kathryn Pinewood is the person
on Earth who hates me the most.
277
00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:51,943
Well, luckily,
you're with the person
278
00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:53,110
on Earth who loves you the most.
279
00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:54,948
Too cheesy? No, it's perfect.
I love you.
280
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,511
Don't leave. Come on.
281
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,255
Donna, you are
a remarkable woman.
282
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:02,089
And I just wanted to say that I've
always thought of you as family.
283
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:04,459
I just want to say that I've
always thought you were hot.
284
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:06,288
Yes, I know. April.
285
00:11:06,465 --> 00:11:10,333
Yeah, you saw a lot of potential
in me, I'm like a daughter to you,
286
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:14,772
and it was a treat to watch me blossom.
Blah, blah, blah, bye.
287
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:18,335
That is remarkably close
to what I was going to say.
288
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,208
Also, I'm proud of you.
289
00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:27,642
Donna, are you grabbing my butt?
Can you blame me?
290
00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:28,876
(LAUGHING) No.
291
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:31,589
Sorry. Can't help you,
ladies.
292
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:35,320
I don't have time for disgraced former
politicians and unmarried preggos.
293
00:11:35,394 --> 00:11:37,123
Oh, Kathryn, always a delight.
294
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:38,686
Listen. I know that
you and Leslie
295
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:40,197
have had your disagreements
in the past,
296
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,631
but we really need the key.
297
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,397
And we can only get the key,
if we get the sodas. Please?
298
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:46,195
I don't see why I should
do you any favors.
299
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:49,503
I mean, if you were still
a city councilor, maybe.
300
00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:52,669
But I seem to remember you were recalled.
Is that right?
301
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:54,439
How dare you.
Okay. Leslie.
302
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:57,377
Please. It's not worth it.
For you.
303
00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:00,385
For me, I don't care.
(GASPS)
304
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,318
What the hell? Yeah,
Pinewood, that's right.
305
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,286
I'm pregnant and I have
you in a headlock.
306
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:06,324
And if you try to fight
back, I will sue you.
307
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:09,259
Unless, you tell us how to
get those sodas, right now.
308
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,930
Okay. Fine. Sweetums
has been desperately
309
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,363
trying to get a local
celebrity spokesman
310
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,761
to endorse their
new sports drink.
311
00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:17,496
So, if you can make
that happen somehow,
312
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,935
they'll give you
whatever you want.
313
00:12:19,438 --> 00:12:20,427
(SIGHS)
314
00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:21,938
Damn, Perkins.
(EXHALES)
315
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:25,242
Okay. Who does Sweetums
want as their spokesperson?
316
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:28,774
They already tried to get me to endorse
that sports drink. I said, "No."
317
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,745
They want me
dunking on the label.
318
00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:32,851
When is this town going to realize
that I'm more than a former
319
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,408
high school basketball star?
320
00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:37,716
I don't think this new sports
drink is even about basketball.
321
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:40,982
It's called "Sweetums Dunktastic
Threepoint BBall Blast."
322
00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:44,052
The slogan is,
"It's all about basketball."
323
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:48,424
I'm sorry. You're going to have to find
yourself some other famous Pawneean.
324
00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:50,163
(SIGHS)
325
00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:51,393
(GASPS)
326
00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:52,999
We know that you
were already approached
327
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:54,403
by Sweetums and you said, "No,"
328
00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:56,168
but is there any way
you would reconsider?
329
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:59,776
I'm sorry, Ms. Knope. There is such
a thing as journalistic integrity,
330
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,871
and it is something that
I have, as a journalist,
331
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,006
with integrity.
332
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:07,046
It's really important, Perd.
Please?
333
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:09,314
Come on.
For old times' sake?
334
00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:12,186
Well, the story of that
appeal is it was heartfelt.
335
00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:17,025
And in response to that
appeal, I respond, okay.
336
00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:21,526
"For old times' sake?"
Does that mean...
337
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:25,368
No. Ann,
you tricky minx.
338
00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:27,229
Yeah. I went on
a date with Perd.
339
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,671
What?
It was during that
340
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:30,800
"explore my freedom as
a single woman" phase.
341
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:32,308
Wow.
We just had a drink.
342
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:36,308
And at the end, he said,
"I am going to kiss you now,
343
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:39,010
"by putting my mouth on your
mouth." Then, I ran away.
344
00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:40,915
It was absolutely
the right call.
345
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,578
Well, we could just
tell him the truth.
346
00:13:42,688 --> 00:13:45,020
That we feel bad that we
didn't get him anything nice.
347
00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:47,882
(LAUGHS) Tell the truth?
That's hilarious. No.
348
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,723
We tell him we had
the perfect gift,
349
00:13:49,795 --> 00:13:51,160
but we were robbed at gunpoint.
350
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:54,495
(WHINING) "Chris. He had a gun.
He took all the gifts."
351
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,831
(NORMAL VOICE) Now, Chris feels bad.
He's buying us gifts.
352
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:58,927
Next thing you know,
Tommy's got a new watch.
353
00:13:59,138 --> 00:14:02,869
Again, I don't see the problem.
I shook the man's hand. Twice.
354
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:06,302
Guys. Look what I got
at the Presidents' Day booth.
355
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:11,072
"Ask not what your
country can do for you."
356
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:12,877
(LAUGHS)
357
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,419
From Family Guy, right?
358
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,887
Listen, Chris, we have to tell
you something. We feel bad
359
00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:21,389
because you got us such thoughtful
gifts and we got you...
360
00:14:22,094 --> 00:14:24,426
Three pans and a bag of nothing.
361
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,991
Guys, I don't need
anything from you.
362
00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:31,668
My Buddy Boxes are about the past,
but let's focus on the future.
363
00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:33,972
Because we're always
going to be friends.
364
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,734
And just the fact
that you feel bad about
365
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,639
your bag of nothing,
proves that.
366
00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:39,470
To the future.
367
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:40,773
ALL: Cheers. To the future.
368
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,206
Cheers.
Future.
369
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:43,270
I have an idea.
370
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,709
Don't you ladies ever knock?
371
00:14:48,787 --> 00:14:51,756
No. Okay. So, we got Perd Hapley
to sign on with Sweetums,
372
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,189
which means that you
get your sodas back.
373
00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:54,556
Which means that we get our key.
374
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,026
Okay? Everything's
here in writing.
375
00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:57,426
Now call off your guards.
376
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:00,925
Okay, fine.
377
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,725
You two are a couple of real
pains in the ass, you know that?
378
00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:06,635
Harold. Your tiny brain
could not understand this,
379
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,932
but that is the best
compliment you could ever give
380
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:10,771
the two women standing
in front of you.
381
00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:11,832
ANN: Bye, Harold.
382
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:15,944
Victory at last.
Whoo! All right.
383
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:17,106
You're all set.
384
00:15:17,182 --> 00:15:20,811
Okay. I am going to call the official
ceremonial ribbon cutting guy,
385
00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:22,877
because I think we
may have missed him.
386
00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:24,846
(HISSING)
What are you doing?
387
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:25,913
It's for the raccoons.
388
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:27,322
You have to hiss
really loud and stomp
389
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:28,621
your feet so
they'll leave you alone.
390
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:30,491
And if one comes close,
make yourself really large,
391
00:15:30,562 --> 00:15:31,961
like a puffer fish.
(HISSING)
392
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:35,899
The Pawnee raccoons. That is
one thing I will not miss.
393
00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:39,663
Well, Michigan has wolverines.
Maybe they'll eat your toes.
394
00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:43,206
So, how long do you think
you'll stay in Pawnee for?
395
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,537
I don't know.
396
00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:46,541
We like it here.
397
00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:49,170
I made Andy promise that someday
we'll move to Transylvania.
398
00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:51,409
But that probably won't happen
until we're, like, 100.
399
00:15:52,384 --> 00:15:53,908
Well, for what it worth,
400
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:56,283
I'm really happy that you
and Andy are married.
401
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,411
Why?
402
00:15:58,357 --> 00:16:00,018
Why? Because
403
00:16:00,225 --> 00:16:04,025
I love him and I love you.
Why wouldn't I be happy?
404
00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:06,655
(MUMBLES) I love you, too.
405
00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:08,155
What's that?
406
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:10,331
(MUMBLES) I love you, too.
407
00:16:10,869 --> 00:16:12,393
I couldn't quite hear you.
408
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,598
Please don't make me say it.
Please.
409
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:17,868
My going away present to you
410
00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:21,640
will be that I do not make you
audibly say that you love me.
411
00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:23,578
Thank you.
412
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:30,079
Okay, Leslie's coming back.
Get off me, wench.
413
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:31,247
Did I miss a nice moment?
414
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,347
No.
Yes, you did.
415
00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:33,618
Aw, good.
416
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:36,483
(DOORBELL RINGS)
417
00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:39,897
Guys. What are you
doing here? Come in.
418
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,527
You caught me before
my first run of the day.
419
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:43,727
I call it my beat the sun run.
420
00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:46,202
It's a race between
me and the sun.
421
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:48,636
Well, we got
one more gift for you.
422
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:50,431
It's quarter-sawn
zebra wood,
423
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:54,377
adjoined by floating tenons to
the black walnut corner posts,
424
00:16:54,446 --> 00:16:58,246
finished with a wiping varnish that
a secret Swanson family recipe.
425
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:03,045
Handmade at my woodshop. And you
are correct, it is gorgeous.
426
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:05,748
You're starting a new life
with your new family.
427
00:17:05,824 --> 00:17:10,261
So, it's an empty Buddy Box to fill
with memories for your little buddy.
428
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:12,160
Or Twizzlers.
429
00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:14,164
That's the beautiful
thing about a box.
430
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,730
We all burned
our initials in. See?
431
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:21,031
Wait a minute.
Who's G.J.L.G. G?
432
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,341
That Gary Jerry Larry Gergich Gengurch.
(LAUGHS)
433
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:27,106
I burned in all my names. I really...
I didn't know what to do.
434
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,241
Well... Um, thank you.
435
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,479
Um... (SNIFFLES)
436
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:39,286
This tear, um, caused by the overwhelming
thoughtfulness of my friends,
437
00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:41,817
will be my baby's first memory.
438
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,253
Saltwater will warp the wood,
439
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:48,527
so keep your tears in your
eyes where they belong.
440
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,134
Will do, Ron Swanson.
441
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:55,703
LESLIE: Can I still call you when I have
thoughts on Jennifer Aniston's future?
442
00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:57,305
Not if I call you first.
443
00:17:57,376 --> 00:18:00,675
Can we still be on the phone for
every State of the Union address
444
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,941
and every Oscar
red carpet coverage
445
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,313
and every single
viewing of Tootsie?
446
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:06,543
Of course.
447
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:11,121
Oh, Ann Perkins.
You perfect sunflower.
448
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:14,450
You totally changed me.
You know?
449
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:17,495
You taught me how
to balance my life,
450
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,963
how to be patient,
how to be more patient.
451
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,125
Yeah, that's better.
452
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:23,828
How to throw
bureaucratic caution
453
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:25,494
to the wind when it came to Ben.
454
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:27,369
But most importantly,
455
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,136
you taught me that I can't
pull off a tulip skirt.
456
00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:32,505
It's just not your shape.
457
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,080
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
458
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:39,573
Well, I don't think
the ceremonial
459
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:41,175
ribbon cutting guy
is going to make it.
460
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:43,653
Either he flaked,
or he tripped and impaled
461
00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:46,020
himself on his
own giant scissors.
462
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,858
We wait for no man.
Let's do this.
463
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,762
BOTH: One, two, three.
464
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:53,190
Oh!
465
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:56,225
(BOTH WHOOPING)
466
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:57,494
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
467
00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:00,629
All right, I got my park. That's all
I wanted from you. Friendship over.
468
00:19:00,839 --> 00:19:01,999
(BOTH LAUGHING)
469
00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:04,303
Don't even joke about that, Ann.
470
00:19:06,778 --> 00:19:07,870
(SIGHS)
471
00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:10,278
It was your idea
to give me that box.
472
00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:12,112
Ah, it was a group effort.
473
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,448
But it had that
trademark Ben Wyatt
474
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,715
mix of thoughtful
and resourceful.
475
00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:21,886
You're literally the best
friend that I will ever have.
476
00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:25,195
You, too, man.
477
00:19:32,037 --> 00:19:33,095
Leslie Knope.
478
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:34,362
Chris Traeger.
479
00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:38,273
I just want to say that getting to
know you, and watching you work,
480
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:42,175
has been one of the greatest
experiences of my life.
481
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:44,681
That, and working
with Dr. Richard Nygard.
482
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:45,939
Sure.
483
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:49,718
And I just want you to know that I
thought there was no man on Earth
484
00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:50,880
good enough for Ann Perkins.
485
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:53,952
And I still think that.
Right.
486
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,359
But if there is no one
actually good enough for her,
487
00:19:57,429 --> 00:19:59,056
you are pretty damn close.
488
00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:06,566
(EXHALES)
489
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,332
Okay. Well. This is normal.
No big deal.
490
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,640
Drive safe.
We will.
491
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:18,443
I packed you some sandwiches and
some caffeine free iced tea.
492
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,944
So... Oh, and there's a mix CD that
I made, already loaded in your car.
493
00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:24,316
There's a lot of
Sarah McLachlan.
494
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,653
So, Chris, I apologize. Things
are going to get emotional.
495
00:20:27,859 --> 00:20:29,121
(CHUCKLES)
496
00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:30,283
(SNIFFLES)
497
00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:32,258
I love you.
498
00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:35,023
I love you, too.
499
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,909
Breakfast, Knope?
500
00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:53,107
Oh, I don't know.
501
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:55,917
Come on.
502
00:20:56,521 --> 00:20:58,250
There's has never been a sadness
503
00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:00,257
that can't be cured
by breakfast food.
504
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,223
That's fair.
505
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,361
Someone else is going to
have to drive, though.
506
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,056
My eyes are basically
useless right now.
507
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:08,260
I'm on it.
Shotgun.
508
00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:09,425
I called shotgun.
You're all nailed.
509
00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:10,593
I call sitting on your lap.
510
00:21:10,669 --> 00:21:13,160
You can't. Double shotgun.
We called double shotgun.
511
00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:14,569
How come people
don't do that more often?
512
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:15,937
BEN: It's illegal?
513
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:17,406
LESLIE: Raise your hand
if you want waffles.
514
00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:18,704
LARRY: I'm eating waffles.
515
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,245
RON: Bacon and eggs,
please and thank you.
516
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:32,500
Ripped By mstoll