1
00:00:05,638 --> 00:00:09,308
So remember, we're done
apologizing to Riley.

2
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:11,844
Simply because I had
sex with your mother,

3
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:12,978
then that's her problem.

4
00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:18,717
We are so done
with the "I'm sorrys."

5
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,787
- Knock, knock.
- Riley, I'm sorry.

6
00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:24,123
Stop judging me.

7
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:27,226
I just came by to drop this
briefcase off for your mom.

8
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,294
She wants to borrow it for something,

9
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:31,830
but let's be honest.
I'll never see it again.

10
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:35,134
Shacka-lacka, huh?

11
00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:37,236
Fresh off the presses.

12
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:40,039
Bonnie Wheeler, real estate associate.

13
00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:42,775
Hot properties from a hot property.

14
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:48,213
That slogan's just temporary, right?

15
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:52,051
No, I have found my true calling.

16
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:53,986
Brad talked me up with his boss,

17
00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:56,055
and they're gonna take me on.

18
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,790
Mrs. Wheeler, are you sure
it's a good idea

19
00:00:57,792 --> 00:00:59,024
to work under someone you're dating?

20
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,527
Oh, I don't work under Brad...

21
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:03,128
At the office.

22
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:08,067
No, my boss is a woman.

23
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:11,370
Which means I don't have
to sleep my way to the top.

24
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:12,704
Huh.

25
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:16,108
I wonder how you do get to the top.

26
00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:19,378
Mom, this is your third
true calling in a year.

27
00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:21,947
At this point, just let
those calls go to voicemail.

28
00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:25,784
Wow, way to support
the women in your life, Ben.

29
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:27,386
Thanks, Riley.

30
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:29,054
So you'll come to
my first open house today?

31
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:30,823
Oh, God, no.
I actually have a real career.

32
00:01:30,825 --> 00:01:32,257
Okay.

33
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:36,428
The firm has put me on a
very important case. Yeah.

34
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:39,865
We are representing
reverend stockwell.

35
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,834
Oh my God, that big
Sunday morning TV preacher?

36
00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:43,802
The guy who ripped off
his entire congregation?

37
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:47,406
Yeah, yeah, he's guilty as sin.

38
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:48,474
Allegedly.

39
00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:53,745
So, Benji, about my open house...

40
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,380
I'm not stealing wine and
cheese from the bar again.

41
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:56,515
Oh, come on.

42
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,317
That was for the church potluck.

43
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,988
Mom, when you stay at a
career longer than it takes

44
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:05,591
for a banana to ripen,
then I'll help you out.

45
00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:08,527
Well, I would like to thank you

46
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,529
for once again proving to me

47
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,831
that you are nothing
but an ungrateful,

48
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,466
unsupportive son.

49
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,868
Okay, but you know what?
That's okay.

50
00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:17,236
Because I don't need your help.

51
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,872
I am a professional woman

52
00:02:19,874 --> 00:02:23,308
who can stand on her own
two feet, okay? Yeah.

53
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,544
Oh, God... oh!

54
00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:30,983
<i>It's amazing how the unexpected</i>

55
00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:33,852
<i>can take your life
and change direction.</i>

56
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,958
<i>Unsupportive?</i>

57
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,861
Nothing says supportive like
six bottles of half drunk wine,

58
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,897
and some almost perfectly good shrimp.

59
00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:47,332
Thanks to me, your grandma's gonna get

60
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,234
this place rented in no time.

61
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,470
I cannot wait to see
the look on her face.

62
00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:54,473
All right, let's go.

63
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:57,276
All right.

64
00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:09,421
And... done!

65
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,395
20, 40, 60.

66
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:19,398
Loser.

67
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,067
Hey, what are you
ready to suck at next?

68
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:24,403
Excuse me, but I believe we're tied.

69
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:27,406
Beer chugging, me.
Basketball, me.

70
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,541
Miniature golf, you.

71
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,144
For obvious reasons.

72
00:03:32,146 --> 00:03:33,612
All right, no.

73
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,913
We need a tiebreaker.

74
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:37,583
Oh, how about women?

75
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:40,085
Oh, hell to the no!

76
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,553
No, uh-uh. No, no.

77
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,288
I am not going up against

78
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,958
"hey, I'm Danny Wheeler,
New York ranger.

79
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,026
Mind if I take
my shirt off?"

80
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:52,397
Fine.
What about no women?

81
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,067
No hitting on,
hustling, or hooking up.

82
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,636
That's an interesting challenge.

83
00:03:57,638 --> 00:04:00,472
All about self-control.

84
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:03,342
Something I have in buckets.

85
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,977
All right, what's the wager?

86
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:07,079
Well, this is a tough one,

87
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:10,515
so I feel the reward
should be substantial.

88
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:13,518
As big as that word is for you?

89
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,554
Bigger.

90
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:18,023
Whoever caves first
pays the other's bar tab.

91
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,424
Oh, you are on.

92
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,928
Nobody is better at
not getting women than me.

93
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:30,669
Is this a bar?

94
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:34,539
I've never been allowed
in one of these before.

95
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:36,675
Oh, well then,
I wouldn't call it a bar.

96
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:39,211
Especially to your father,
the reverend.

97
00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:41,480
Uh, let's go with
"eating establishment,"

98
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,682
with lots of liquor.

99
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:47,119
Um, would you like something to drink?

100
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,353
Oh, I don't drink.

101
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,222
Liquor is just liquid Satan.

102
00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:52,557
Right.

103
00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:56,528
Oh, God, you're serious.

104
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,497
Yeah, me neither, me neither.

105
00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:59,965
So why don't you have a seat

106
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,501
and try not to talk to
any unsavory characters.

107
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,303
Okay? There you go.

108
00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:06,405
Hey, I'm Ben.

109
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,140
Any friend of Riley's
is a friend of mine.

110
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:10,375
Ben, Piper, Piper, Ben.

111
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:15,280
And just so you know, this
is an unsavory character.

112
00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:19,484
Excuse me.
All right.

113
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,620
Oh my gosh, you guys,
you're not gonna believe it.

114
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,188
Huge honor.

115
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,691
I have been entrusted to
guard the reverend's daughter.

116
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:27,492
Yeah, the firm is depending on me

117
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,494
to keep her away from
the press until Monday,

118
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:32,097
because they are just
obsessed with this case,

119
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:34,299
and any story that
they can get on Piper.

120
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:36,268
So you're baby-sitting?

121
00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:38,704
Yeah, pretty much.

122
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:41,707
Yeah, well just keep
that Tucker-sized temptress

123
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,241
away from us.

124
00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:44,976
We just swore off women.

125
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:48,113
Well, on behalf of my gender,
thank you.

126
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,449
But you know, I don't think
it's gonna be a problem

127
00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:52,651
because I'm pretty sure
she's sworn off men.

128
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,386
You might want to go tell Ben.

129
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:55,420
<i>What? No.
No no no.</i>

130
00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:57,089
No no no.
Piper, Piper!

131
00:05:57,091 --> 00:05:59,658
No no no no.
There is alcohol in this.

132
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:02,761
I did not ask for
a "sin and tonic."

133
00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:07,032
What is wrong with you?

134
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,105
I'm not paying for that.

135
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:19,578
You are never gonna believe
what happened yesterday.

136
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,313
Your open house was a huge success

137
00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:22,447
and you rented your first listing?

138
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:24,583
Or some idiot left a candle burning

139
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,785
and lit the apartment up like a torch.

140
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,620
Do they know who did it?

141
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:29,755
Not a clue.

142
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:32,057
Oh, that's a relief.

143
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,326
I mean, I hate to think that
they thought you were responsible.

144
00:06:34,328 --> 00:06:35,327
They don't, do they?

145
00:06:35,329 --> 00:06:36,595
Oh, God, no.

146
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,630
Thank goodness my boss is a woman.

147
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,098
When it comes to the work force,

148
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,566
we women stick together.

149
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,568
Unless we're wearing the same outfit.

150
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,071
And then I'll cut a bitch.

151
00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:49,608
We're meeting for lunch.
There she is.

152
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,109
All right, I'm gonna go freshen up.

153
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:52,677
Offer her a drink on me.

154
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,312
And by on me, you know...

155
00:06:57,383 --> 00:07:00,152
Hey, can I get you something to drink?

156
00:07:00,154 --> 00:07:02,754
You can get me a lot of things.

157
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,258
But the drink will have to do for now.

158
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,325
And nothing too strong.

159
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,393
I like to keep my wits about me

160
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,561
when I fire someone.

161
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,368
You're gonna fire someone?

162
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:19,438
Yeah, tall blonde.
Goes by Bonnie.

163
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,841
Though that stupid boy toy of hers
insists on calling her bon-bon,

164
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,709
to which I say
barf-barf.

165
00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:27,179
Why, you know her?

166
00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:30,515
Yeah, and I call her
mom-mom.

167
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:34,119
Look, I only took her
on to make Brad happy.

168
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:38,123
Which is ironic 'cause I only
took Brad on to make me happy.

169
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,592
Just give her a second chance, please.

170
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:42,194
Ooh-ooh! I know.

171
00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:43,595
How about you give her
another listing?

172
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,130
And if she can't rent it,
you're completely justified

173
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,264
in letting her go.

174
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,600
I like the sound of that.

175
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,135
What, giving her a listing?

176
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,838
No, being justified in letting her go.

177
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,607
She's got till Monday.

178
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,609
Setting her up to be fired.

179
00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:58,877
Thanks for the idea.

180
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,781
Yeah, don't mention it.

181
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,850
No, but seriously, can
you please not mention it?

182
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:09,120
All right, this apartment
is a neutral zone.

183
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:11,890
There will be no women allowed
in here until further notice.

184
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,859
Oh my God, I need you to watch Piper.

185
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:16,862
Yeah. She lost her wallet somewhere
between my house and the bar.

186
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,396
And I can't be walking
her all over the city,

187
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:22,400
so I will just... I'll be
back as soon as I can, okay?

188
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:25,537
Thank you thank you thank you.

189
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:28,707
Don't worry. I'm sure
Riley will find your wallet.

190
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:31,710
Something tells me that she won't.

191
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:32,844
Oops.

192
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,514
Should I call Riley?

193
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,883
Why don't you call me a cab

194
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:40,318
so I can get out of here?

195
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:44,723
I think that's the exact opposite

196
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,526
of what she wanted us to do.

197
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,261
Fine.

198
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:54,599
Then here's how it's gonna go down.

199
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,668
You go pour me a drink,

200
00:08:56,670 --> 00:09:01,773
you shuffle the cards, and...

201
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,410
We're gonna play a little game.

202
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:12,684
<i>Holy crap!
It's beautiful.</i>

203
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:15,754
I will be able to rent
this place in no time.

204
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,355
How about we say Monday?

205
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:19,691
It's always good to have a goal.

206
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,960
Two bedrooms,
eat-in kitchen.

207
00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:25,463
Oh.

208
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:29,935
And a view of the cutest
little church in the world.

209
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:33,405
I won't need any help with this one.

210
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:36,808
<i>Oh my God! What the...?!</i>

211
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,383
All in!

212
00:09:52,858 --> 00:09:54,793
What the hell is wrong with you two?

213
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,461
I'm gone for like two seconds

214
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,330
and you try to talk this poor girl

215
00:09:58,332 --> 00:10:01,566
into Tequila shots and strip poker?

216
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,635
It's a miracle I ran
into her on the street.

217
00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:05,737
Yeah, it was something.

218
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,977
Well, hey.

219
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,845
The poker and Tequila were her idea.

220
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,447
Really?

221
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,449
You expect me to believe

222
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:20,452
that this sweet, innocent young woman

223
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:23,254
drank you both under the table,

224
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,423
took your pants, and ran off?

225
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:28,693
Why not?
It's happened before!

226
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,595
Okay, Piper,

227
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:31,796
just get your stuff and we're...

228
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,433
It's my doorman.

229
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,469
Hello? Hi, yeah.

230
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:38,937
What?

231
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,338
You're kidding me.

232
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:41,740
No, no no no, it's fine.

233
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:43,908
Okay, thank you.

234
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,511
Well, there are a dozen
photographers outside my building.

235
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,380
Somebody tipped them off.

236
00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:51,449
Gosh, oh gum.

237
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,985
Now who would do that?

238
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,987
What do we do now?

239
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,456
Well, no one knows I'm here,

240
00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:02,794
and I'm sure that the boys
have learned their lesson.

241
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,835
So, why don't you just sign the lease

242
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,303
and I'll fill in the rest?

243
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:13,605
Three, two.

244
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,315
Ohh!

245
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:26,051
Gosh, I just...
I don't understand

246
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:29,921
why Carol would stick me
with such a dog of a listing.

247
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:31,456
Oh, wait a minute.

248
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:34,059
I know what's going on here?

249
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,461
- You do?
- Yeah.

250
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:39,064
A little rookie hazing.

251
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,632
Oh, man, that Carol.

252
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:43,468
What a jokester.

253
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,503
Oh, man.
I just love her.

254
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,639
Mom, Carol said that
if you don't rent this apartment

255
00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:48,807
she's gonna fire you.

256
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,975
That backstabbing whore!
I hate her.

257
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:53,478
What, is it because of the fire?

258
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,813
No, it's not because of the fire.

259
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:57,348
Remember that.

260
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,551
The problem is you and Brad.

261
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:00,618
She's jealous.

262
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,420
Really?

263
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:06,091
I love having a boyfriend
that pisses off other women.

264
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:08,927
Yes, that would be
the positive spin on all this.

265
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,462
But if you don't rent this apartment,

266
00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:11,730
you're gonna lose your job.

267
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:17,602
That walks through that door has a
hump and a second home in notre dame,

268
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,571
I don't feel very optimistic.

269
00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:23,508
Do you have any fives?

270
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,610
Go fish.

271
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:26,478
Isn't this fun?

272
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:29,147
So much.

273
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:31,549
But I'm feeling really guilty

274
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:32,684
about making you stay in,

275
00:12:32,686 --> 00:12:33,818
so if you want to go out,

276
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:36,554
I mean, you must have
a ton of guys after you.

277
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,157
Well, yeah.

278
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,493
But I'm not really
into that right now.

279
00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:43,595
I'm kind of getting over someone.

280
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:45,964
Yes, just the woman I was looking for.

281
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,599
We have got to talk.

282
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,067
Ben, we have been through this, okay?

283
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,935
You can beg and plead all you want,

284
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,071
but we are not getting back together.

285
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:55,173
See what I'm dealing with?

286
00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:58,810
Okay, first of all, we are not done.

287
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:00,645
And second, I was talking to Piper.

288
00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:03,748
So I had this brilliant idea.

289
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,083
Okay, you could be in town for months

290
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,484
because of this trial thing, right?

291
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,486
My mom has an apartment near a church

292
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,088
she needs to rent.

293
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,490
Seems to me like, dare I say,

294
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,558
a match made in heaven?

295
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:16,828
Can we go look at it?

296
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,163
- Now?
- Yeah, let's go.

297
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,631
No no no.
No no no.

298
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,166
No one is going anywhere, okay?

299
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:24,769
It's the office. Once
again checking in on me

300
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:26,771
like I'm some sort of
crazy, incompetent...

301
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,807
oh, hey, hey.

302
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:31,643
Sorry, I didn't realize
I'd hit answer.

303
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,545
Okay, so we're just
gonna go in the back

304
00:13:33,547 --> 00:13:36,548
yeah, and I'm just...
I'm gonna go to the kitchen

305
00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:37,916
for a totally unrelated reason.

306
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,818
No no no. No.
You can tell the reverend

307
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,821
that everything is
going great, thank God.

308
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,756
Oh my God, are you serious?

309
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,624
You think you and your dad might
really want to rent the apartment?

310
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:50,829
Well, I know that it'd be the
answer to some of my recent prayers.

311
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,997
But I think you're gonna
have to sneak me out of here

312
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,465
in order to see it.

313
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,734
No, I can't. Riley would
never speak to me again.

314
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,504
Oh, please.
She's so in love with you.

315
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,673
And plus, she never has to know.

316
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,608
I'm sorry, can you
rewind there for a second?

317
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,176
- Riley what?
- Never needs to know?

318
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,011
- No, the other part.
- Is in love with you?

319
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,012
Yeah, that's the one.

320
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,214
Well, you're pretty much

321
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:10,815
all she talks about.

322
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,483
Um...

323
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:13,818
So what do you say I scratch your back

324
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:14,853
and you scratch mine?

325
00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:17,222
Hey, look, I'm totally flattered

326
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,157
and you're cute,

327
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,759
but I think I should see where
this whole Riley thing goes first.

328
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,494
Yeah.

329
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:26,097
I actually meant that
I'll help you get Riley back

330
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,632
if you show me the apartment.

331
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:31,769
But we probably shouldn't
tell Riley that you hit on me.

332
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:40,178
And I have to work an extra shift.

333
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,846
You sneak out of my bedroom window

334
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:44,048
across the fire escape,
and we'll meet in the lobby.

335
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,984
Or we could just
walk out the front door.

336
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,086
I don't see her. I think
she went in the bathroom.

337
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,287
Oh, let's go.

338
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:52,023
Okay, Riley, Piper's taking a nap

339
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,825
and I'm running to work.
Okay, see you.

340
00:14:53,827 --> 00:14:55,894
I swear, the second
that crazy preacher

341
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,295
gets sent up the river
and I make partner,

342
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,830
I am firing everyone.

343
00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:01,065
This thing is still on?!

344
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:06,170
Okay, so Piper wanted me to let
you know that she's taking a nap.

345
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:07,972
She said to wake her up
in about two hours.

346
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:09,974
I'd say three just to be safe,

347
00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:13,077
but I'm gonna run to work,
so I'll see you.

348
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,185
- Are we gonna ignore this?
- Yep.

349
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:22,854
- Are we gonna get blamed for this?
- Yep.

350
00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:24,589
Are we gonna call off the
bet and declare me the winner?

351
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:25,657
Nice try.

352
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:29,961
<i>So just get Piper to sign the lease,</i>

353
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,696
and then Carol can't fire you.

354
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:33,231
Oh, I hope your little church mouse

355
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,899
doesn't mind loud music.

356
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,567
Somebody in this building
likes to party.

357
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:38,970
Drink drink drink drink!

358
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:41,606
Piper, what the hell are you doing?!

359
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,775
Well, thanks to you, I'm losing.

360
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,310
What the hell is wrong with you?

361
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,612
This girl isn't looking for a place.

362
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,981
Well, I might be
if you let me keep partying.

363
00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:51,115
Somebody get this girl a drink.

364
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,117
I need to show her the bedrooms.

365
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,255
You are not showing her anything.

366
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,657
Riley, what the hell
are you doing here?

367
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,125
Ben, how could you
sneak her out of the house

368
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:04,128
and take her to a party
at some random apartment?

369
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,930
Not random.

370
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:09,734
If she would just sign
here, here, and here,

371
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:11,302
it could be hers.

372
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,771
This isn't my party.
It's her party.

373
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,974
Like I would have a party.

374
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:17,108
Oh.

375
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:20,078
Oh my God, is this beer?

376
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,180
Well now I'll never get into heaven.

377
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,982
She's lying.

378
00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,650
Oh, you're such a little liar.

379
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,252
Riley, you have to believe me.

380
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:29,921
I could never lie to you.

381
00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:33,157
Piper?

382
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:36,327
Oh my God!

383
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,996
Okay, yes, yes, it's my party.

384
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,330
Yes, I'm drinking a beer,

385
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,232
and yes, I made a sex tape.

386
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:46,738
And yes, you probably
didn't need to know that.

387
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:50,875
Wait, so you've been
playing me all along?

388
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,010
Why?

389
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,978
Because if I wasn't playing you,

390
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,847
I'd be stuck playing go fish.

391
00:16:56,982 --> 00:17:00,985
Well, well, well.

392
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:04,789
Is bon-bon throwing herself
a little going away party?

393
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,858
Because I'd like to be
the first to say

394
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,226
"bye-bye."

395
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,862
Carol, I can explain.

396
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,196
Yeah, actually I can't.

397
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,732
No, you can't fire her.

398
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,667
Between burning down one listing

399
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,002
and trashing another,

400
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:20,238
I'm pretty sure I can.

401
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,739
She didn't burn down that apartment.

402
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:23,341
- I did.
- Yeah. He did.

403
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,743
- Wait, you what?!
- I'm sorry.

404
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:26,778
And she didn't trash this place.

405
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:27,879
She did.

406
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,747
Well, you're the one
who brought me here.

407
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:31,082
Wow, once you start telling the truth,

408
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:32,216
you just can't stop, can you?

409
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:34,318
You know what?

410
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,687
Why don't we all just tell the truth.

411
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,089
I love that idea,
Mrs. Wheeler,

412
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,857
because I have a lot to say.

413
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:42,794
This isn't about my job performance.

414
00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:45,029
This is about Brad.

415
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,164
Admit it.

416
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,066
You are nothing but a jealous,

417
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:51,002
stereotypical,
very well dressed bully.

418
00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:53,304
Seriously,
where did you get that outfit?

419
00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:56,874
And you are nothing but a privileged,

420
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:58,943
whiny, holier than thou hypocrite.

421
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:00,711
Mm-hmm. You know what?
That is good.

422
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:04,482
And might I add,
unsupportive backstabber.

423
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:07,018
You don't give one thought
to other people's feelings

424
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:09,153
or the ramifications of your actions.

425
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:12,190
Okay, I'm just gonna
let her keep going.

426
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:15,993
I could lose my job. Your
father could go to prison.

427
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:18,996
Is having a "good time"
really worth all that?

428
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:21,332
Okay, that kind of went off the rails.

429
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:24,335
And to think, you were my role model.

430
00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:26,871
But you know what?
From now on,

431
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,806
I am my own role model.

432
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,476
Here's what's going to happen.

433
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,478
I am going to rent this place

434
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,480
because I believe in myself.

435
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:39,884
And when I do, you are going
to make me a full-fledged agent.

436
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:43,020
Or I'll just stick
to the original plan

437
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:44,422
and fire you.

438
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:45,823
Okay, great.

439
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:48,025
But just remember wherever I go,

440
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:50,128
so does your number one realtor.

441
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,464
My boyfriend... Brad.

442
00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:56,868
Welcome aboard, Bonnie.

443
00:18:56,870 --> 00:18:57,935
Oh, yeah.

444
00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,938
And as for you,
pi... Piper?

445
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,406
Where is Piper?

446
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:05,443
So, um, speaking of Piper,

447
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:08,412
she actually mentioned that you
might still be in love with me.

448
00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:09,814
In case you haven't paid attention,

449
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,115
she's a liar.

450
00:19:15,053 --> 00:19:16,287
Well, just thought I'd swing by

451
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:18,289
before my last day
as an employed person.

452
00:19:19,893 --> 00:19:21,792
Piper still hasn't shown up.

453
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:24,028
Riley, I feel like
this is all my fault.

454
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:27,131
This is where you're
supposed to tell me it's not.

455
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:29,033
It's not.

456
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:31,035
I really only have myself to blame.

457
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,104
How can I ever make it as a lawyer

458
00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:35,573
if I can't even tell when
someone's lying to my face?

459
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:37,108
Oh, hey.

460
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:38,309
Morning, guys.

461
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:43,347
A check for your entire bar bill.

462
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,882
I couldn't help myself.

463
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,350
I gave my number to some girl.

464
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:48,419
You win.
I caved.

465
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:50,888
I accept your concession.

466
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,223
Tough loss, bro.

467
00:19:58,597 --> 00:19:59,897
Piper?

468
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:02,400
Oh, sorry.

469
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:05,036
I might have caved a little.

470
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,837
Twice.

471
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,310
Hey.

472
00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:17,281
Um, I probably owe you an apology.

473
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:20,551
I was being totally
selfish and immature,

474
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,486
and thanks to you
I can see that my actions

475
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,021
really affect other people.

476
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,356
Like you.

477
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,391
I'm sorry.

478
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,894
That was a complete lie, wasn't it?

479
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,096
Yeah, he wrote it.

480
00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:35,900
Not bad. But here's
what's gonna happen.

481
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,102
We're gonna go to court,
and you're gonna tell my boss

482
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:40,171
that I was awesome this weekend.

483
00:20:40,173 --> 00:20:42,240
And if you don't,
I'm gonna tell your dad

484
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,275
every single thing
that you've been up to.

485
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:46,277
I'll get dressed.

486
00:20:47,212 --> 00:20:48,512
Wow.

487
00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:50,414
Way to argue your case, counselor.

488
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,916
Thank you.

489
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:52,950
I'm back!

490
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,151
- Yeah!
- Yeah.

491
00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:01,325
So what do they think?

492
00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:03,027
I think they're gonna take it.

493
00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:07,331
Sister, sister.

494
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:08,933
They don't mind the bells?

495
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,668
Nope.