﻿1
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Alert, alert!

2
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Video diary alert!

3
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This week is gonna be huge!

4
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Huge, huge, huge.

5
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I'm giving a presentation
to the senior partner of the firm,

6
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and it is a great chance
for people to notice me

7
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for more than just
my intimidating stare.

8
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And, also, this weekend
is Cookie Prom,

9
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the annual event where
Helen-Alice, Marika, and I

10
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commemorate
a not-so-great prom night.

11
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That was the worst night
of my life.

12
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Everybody laughed at us.

13
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Who cares what they think?
We don't need their stupid prom.

14
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Yeah, all that slow-dancing
and bodies touching... Gross!

15
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Yeah, they wouldn't even
let me play the mix CD

16
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I burned special.

17
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What is the one thing
that cheers us up

18
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more than anything else?

19
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- Word problems.
- Jean jackets.

20
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Better.

21
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Cookie Prom is a tradition,

22
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and traditions don't die.

23
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<i>♪ Don't stop me now ♪</i>

24
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<i>♪ I'm having such a good time ♪
♪ Good time ♪</i>

25
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<i>♪ Super fun night ♪
♪ I'm having a ball ♪</i>

26
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<i>♪ Don't stop me now ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm havin' a good time ♪</i>

27
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<i>♪ I don't want to stop at all ♪</i>

28
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<i>♪ Super fun night ♪
♪ Super fun wild night ♪</i>

29
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Hey, Kimmie. Are you awake?

30
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- What are you doing?
- I couldn't sleep.

31
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I'm so excited about Cookie Prom.
I'm so pumped!

32
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What time is it?

33
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My alarm didn't go off!

34
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I have that presentation
for Mr. Warner!

35
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Okay, uh, I got to go!

36
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Oh, you probably accidentally
set P.M. instead of A.M...

37
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classic A.M./P.M. Mix-up.

38
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Where the hell is Kimmie?

39
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She probably saw
a hot pie on a windowsill

40
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and got distracted.

41
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Hey, wildly inappropriate,
and she will be here on time.

42
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Maybe a bit late.

43
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Whoa.

44
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Hi. Can we just...

45
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Oh, come on!

46
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Looks like we're on the local.

47
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So, shall we get started?

48
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Kendall Quinn, Mr. Warner.
I just wanted to introduce myself

49
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and say that it's an honor, sir.

50
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You're right.

51
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Who are we waiting for?

52
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Boubier.

53
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That's not a real name.

54
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Sorry!

55
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You must be Boubier.

56
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Yes.

57
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Mr. Warner, um,
please don't fire me.

58
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I don't think
I can do anything else.

59
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Kimmie, what you did today
was totally unprofessional.

60
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Not if I was a professional
at mail-cart luge.

61
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Still, I can't think of
one reason not to fire you.

62
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Oh, God.

63
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Except for this report.
It's exemplary.

64
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You have potential, Kimmie,
but you're squandering it.

65
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Do you know
what your biggest problem is?

66
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Yes. Snarling Hannah.

67
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She never talks to me.
She just looks at me like...

68
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No, you lack confidence,
Kimmie.

69
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You remind me of
my daughter Kammie, Kimmie.

70
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I used to say to Kammie,
Kimmie,

71
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"Warners don't wonder
whether Warners are winners

72
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because winners never wonder
whether Warners win."

73
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So, can Kimmie
not be crummy like Kammie,

74
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or will Kimmie be like Kammie
and careen out of control?

75
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That's entirely up to you.

76
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The world is separated into layers.

77
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There's a social hierarchy
and the business hierarchy.

78
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They're all interrelated.

79
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- Okay.
- I am here.

80
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You are here.

81
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In five years, you could
become a junior partner,

82
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but you have to start acting
like a professional.

83
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Okay. I'm making a note.

84
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To get rid of this notebook.

85
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It's time to grow up, Kimmie.
You're not in high school anymore.

86
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No, but I still have a baby
tooth in the roof of my mouth

87
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- that burns when I eat ice cream.
- Have it removed.

88
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She's a disaster, and she still manages
to Kimmie her way in there.

89
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Has the world gone crazy?!

90
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I'm glad we had this little talk.

91
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Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have some work to finish up.

92
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Well, thank you so much,
Mr. Warner.

93
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And please be on the lookout
for your invitation to the unveiling

94
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of the new, more professional
Kimmie Boubier.

95
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That's an invitation
I look forward to accepting.

96
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An invitation to what?

97
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Uh, Mr. Warner, I just wondered

98
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if you had a moment
before you head to the airport

99
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to chat about who's
taking point on the Aizer case.

100
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Actually, something's come up,

101
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and I'll be staying
through tomorrow night.

102
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I have a cocktail party.

103
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Kimmie's throwing a cocktail party,

104
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and she invited Warner,
and he's going.

105
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- So?
- So I have to go to that party.

106
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If I can get some
alone time with Warner,

107
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I know I can lock up the Aizer case.

108
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Well, just ask her if you can go.

109
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I'm not going to ask her.
I'll seem desperate.

110
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She has to invite me.

111
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What I'm hearing is that you have nothing
going on this weekend.

112
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This is going on all the time.

113
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I think we have a good list
of the cookies we want this year.

114
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Okay, there's something
I want to bring up,

115
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but I don't want you to get mad.

116
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If you say,
"Can we have animal crackers?"

117
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I swear to God, I'm gonna
put you through that window.

118
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Hey, Kimmie!

119
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K-Dog, how the presentation go?

120
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Great! I crushed it.

121
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Hey, Kimmie,
animal crackers... yes or no?

122
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You don't have to answer that.
But technically you're the deciding vote,

123
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so we really need you to weigh in.

124
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Guys, seriously, whatever you want.

125
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Just do whatever.
I don't really care.

126
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Okay, I'm gonna go back to my room
and just do some work stuff.

127
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So...

128
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Oh, told ya!

129
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Classic A.M./P. M.

130
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Okay.

131
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Well, that was weird.

132
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She doesn't want
to help us with cookie-prom stuff?

133
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Oh, well, she's probably just tired.

134
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She was up really late
working on that presentation.

135
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Yeah, I'm sure you're right.

136
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Animal crackers
are on the cookie aisle.

137
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I will put your tiny body
through that glass.

138
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What is the most professional?

139
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Glasses?

140
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Ooh-la-la!

141
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Hmm, I concur.

142
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I think glasses?

143
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Hi, there.

144
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Would you promote me?

145
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I'd promote me.

146
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Whoa!

147
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Someone's going to the DMV!

148
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What did you do, Kimmie?

149
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Please, ladies, it's Kimberley now.

150
00:07:33,874 --> 00:07:36,554
Okay, why are you wearing glasses?

151
00:07:36,587 --> 00:07:38,228
Kimberley wears glasses.

152
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Kimberley doesn't
snort-laugh anymore.

153
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She giggles and says,
"That's so funny."

154
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Kimberley answers her phone like this.

155
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Hello. It's Kimberley.

156
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Way profesh!

157
00:07:49,666 --> 00:07:51,687
I feel like I'm talking to
online tech support.

158
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:54,353
Wait, am I talking to
online tech support right now?

159
00:07:54,387 --> 00:07:56,838
Okay, um,
well, please excuse me

160
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because Kimberley
needs to get to work early

161
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because she knows how to
set an alarm.

162
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This is how Kimberley leaves a room.

163
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Adieu.

164
00:08:07,850 --> 00:08:11,086
Kimberley will clean that up later.

165
00:08:14,724 --> 00:08:17,309
Morning, Kimmie.
You look amazing.

166
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,694
Oh, thank you, Richard,
but it's Kimberley now.

167
00:08:19,712 --> 00:08:21,296
I'm trying to change my image.

168
00:08:21,330 --> 00:08:24,933
Oh, right. In that case,
maybe I should change my image.

169
00:08:24,967 --> 00:08:27,819
Instead of Richard,
I should be called...

170
00:08:27,854 --> 00:08:28,904
Richie!

171
00:08:28,938 --> 00:08:30,238
Hey, hey.

172
00:08:30,273 --> 00:08:31,573
Kimmie Boubier,
let me ask you something.

173
00:08:31,607 --> 00:08:33,475
You like mozzarella
on your pizza?

174
00:08:33,509 --> 00:08:34,509
Or what about, uh...

175
00:08:34,527 --> 00:08:35,643
Ricardo?

176
00:08:35,661 --> 00:08:38,213
Tell me, Boubier,
have you ever been to Ibiza?

177
00:08:38,247 --> 00:08:40,065
That's so funny!

178
00:08:40,116 --> 00:08:41,366
Hmm.

179
00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:43,801
Okay, you really are serious,
aren't you?

180
00:08:43,852 --> 00:08:46,087
Is that why you're writing
in a moleskine?

181
00:08:46,121 --> 00:08:48,106
Does this mean that the,
uh, unicorn notebook

182
00:08:48,140 --> 00:08:50,524
has been banished to the shelter
for imaginary animals?

183
00:08:50,542 --> 00:08:52,793
I gave it to someone
who needed it more.

184
00:08:52,811 --> 00:08:55,096
Hey, everyone,
check out my new notebook.

185
00:08:55,130 --> 00:08:56,447
Don't touch it!

186
00:09:02,587 --> 00:09:04,805
Hey, Kimberley!

187
00:09:04,839 --> 00:09:06,507
Richard told me
about the name change.

188
00:09:06,541 --> 00:09:07,574
Love it.

189
00:09:07,592 --> 00:09:09,843
And I brought you a little something.

190
00:09:09,861 --> 00:09:12,613
Oh, my God! A tiny tree!

191
00:09:14,182 --> 00:09:17,284
I... how appropriate
and decorative.

192
00:09:17,319 --> 00:09:19,086
It's very thoughtful.

193
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,854
So, I was thinking
that maybe we could,

194
00:09:20,872 --> 00:09:24,607
uh, pop out early for lunch
at the Noho House. I'm a member.

195
00:09:24,642 --> 00:09:26,149
The Noho House?!

196
00:09:26,184 --> 00:09:28,564
I mean... That's so exclusive.

197
00:09:28,599 --> 00:09:30,818
I heard they turned away
Mayor Bloomberg

198
00:09:30,853 --> 00:09:32,848
because he was too short.

199
00:09:32,883 --> 00:09:34,286
Oh, Kimberley.

200
00:09:34,321 --> 00:09:36,330
That's not why they
turned away Mayor Bloomberg.

201
00:09:37,818 --> 00:09:39,156
- That's so funny.
- That's so funny.

202
00:09:39,690 --> 00:09:40,940
Anyway, I just felt

203
00:09:40,958 --> 00:09:42,375
that we should get to know
each other better.

204
00:09:42,409 --> 00:09:43,693
You know,
I invite you to something.

205
00:09:43,727 --> 00:09:45,845
You invite me to something.

206
00:09:45,879 --> 00:09:47,997
- Fun stuff.
- Well, I'd love to go.

207
00:09:48,032 --> 00:09:50,934
But unfortunately,
I have plans with friends.

208
00:09:50,968 --> 00:09:54,037
Oh, well, if what you're doing
is more important...

209
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,838
Oh, no. No, wait!

210
00:09:55,889 --> 00:09:58,257
Maybe I could
move some things around.

211
00:10:01,628 --> 00:10:04,814
Done. Let's go.

212
00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:09,051
First, Kimmie
didn't help us last night,

213
00:10:09,085 --> 00:10:11,486
and now she's at the Noho House,

214
00:10:11,537 --> 00:10:14,406
having lunch with her fancy friend
while we do all of the work.

215
00:10:14,424 --> 00:10:16,591
This never would have happened
when we were in high school.

216
00:10:16,676 --> 00:10:18,076
Yeah, well,
no one else would talk to us

217
00:10:18,111 --> 00:10:20,796
when we were in high school,
except for my mom...

218
00:10:20,830 --> 00:10:21,846
when she needed money.

219
00:10:21,864 --> 00:10:24,316
Exactly... We were there
for each other

220
00:10:24,350 --> 00:10:26,785
when nobody else was.

221
00:10:26,819 --> 00:10:29,685
And your mom still owes me,
like, $35.

222
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,290
- I know.
- Mnh-mnh. I have an idea.

223
00:10:32,324 --> 00:10:33,758
- Calzones!
- No.

224
00:10:33,792 --> 00:10:35,193
Let's go down there right now

225
00:10:35,227 --> 00:10:38,046
and remind Kimmie why this night
is so important to us.

226
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,381
- Yeah! Yeah, totally. Let's do it.
- Okay.

227
00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:42,050
Oh, and, by the way,

228
00:10:42,084 --> 00:10:45,436
that $35... yeah,
you're never gonna see that.

229
00:10:47,473 --> 00:10:49,591
Well, I don't know
where they got this caviar from.

230
00:10:49,625 --> 00:10:51,860
But it is not beluga.
I can tell you that much.

231
00:10:53,078 --> 00:10:55,930
Oh, hello, darling.

232
00:10:55,965 --> 00:10:57,848
That's Mitzi Astor.

233
00:10:57,867 --> 00:10:59,851
She claims to have been in Maine
for the past four months,

234
00:10:59,885 --> 00:11:01,085
but we all know what was going on.

235
00:11:02,271 --> 00:11:04,601
Tendinitis?

236
00:11:05,257 --> 00:11:06,774
Oh, hello, darling!

237
00:11:09,244 --> 00:11:11,045
It's a dessert tray.

238
00:11:11,096 --> 00:11:13,097
Well, Kimberley, isn't this nice?

239
00:11:13,115 --> 00:11:14,231
See, this is what friends do.

240
00:11:14,249 --> 00:11:17,168
They have cocktails,
go to parties...

241
00:11:17,202 --> 00:11:18,669
events, cocktail-party events.

242
00:11:18,703 --> 00:11:20,771
Excuse me, Kimmie,
but we need to talk.

243
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,723
- How did you get in?
- Through the kitchen.

244
00:11:22,758 --> 00:11:23,908
We just grabbed a couple aprons,

245
00:11:23,942 --> 00:11:25,026
breezed right through,
no questions asked...

246
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:26,741
classic acting like you belong.

247
00:11:26,776 --> 00:11:28,311
I think you've forgotten
what tonight is

248
00:11:28,329 --> 00:11:30,264
and how important
it is to all of us.

249
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:31,882
Oh, is something going on tonight?

250
00:11:31,916 --> 00:11:33,951
No, nothing's going on.

251
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,053
I don't know what they're
talking about.

252
00:11:36,087 --> 00:11:38,539
This is really not the right time.

253
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:43,243
Uh, Kendall and I are in the middle
of a private lady-to-lady lunch.

254
00:11:43,378 --> 00:11:46,663
I say we make it
lady-to-lady-to-lady-to-lady.

255
00:11:46,697 --> 00:11:47,764
That sounds awesome.

256
00:11:47,798 --> 00:11:49,899
No, um, darlings,

257
00:11:49,934 --> 00:11:52,102
can I speak to you in private?

258
00:11:52,636 --> 00:11:54,237
We need to talk about Cookie Prom.

259
00:11:54,271 --> 00:11:55,671
Yeah, can we not do it here?

260
00:11:55,706 --> 00:11:57,089
Oh, why?
Are you embarrassed?

261
00:11:57,124 --> 00:11:58,407
No, of course not.

262
00:11:58,425 --> 00:12:00,526
I'm just in the middle of a lunch.

263
00:12:00,561 --> 00:12:02,811
- Yeah, with Kendall.
- Who happens to be

264
00:12:02,829 --> 00:12:04,430
a very important lawyer
at the firm,

265
00:12:04,464 --> 00:12:06,582
and the fact
that she's asked me here

266
00:12:06,617 --> 00:12:09,118
means that she's taking me
more seriously.

267
00:12:09,152 --> 00:12:10,686
And she's really nice.

268
00:12:10,721 --> 00:12:14,540
She helps the homeless...
move away from her building.

269
00:12:14,591 --> 00:12:15,708
She's cool.

270
00:12:15,742 --> 00:12:16,809
Yeah, you know what else
is really cool?

271
00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:19,194
A forklift... until it drops you.

272
00:12:19,212 --> 00:12:21,130
Are you gonna come home
and help us or not?

273
00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:28,002
Uh, no. I-I can't.

274
00:12:28,020 --> 00:12:30,288
You guys should probably go.

275
00:12:30,323 --> 00:12:32,224
Ouch.

276
00:12:32,258 --> 00:12:34,526
Kimsicle, that was ice-cold.

277
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:36,111
Fine.

278
00:12:36,129 --> 00:12:38,397
We'll have Cookie Prom
by ourselves.

279
00:12:38,431 --> 00:12:41,316
And if you happen to see
our old friend Kimmie,

280
00:12:41,334 --> 00:12:42,884
tell her we'd like to see her there.

281
00:12:48,207 --> 00:12:50,959
Hi, Hannah.

282
00:12:53,061 --> 00:12:55,212
Hello, Hannah.

283
00:12:57,132 --> 00:13:00,951
Always lovely
to see Snarling Hannah.

284
00:13:05,039 --> 00:13:07,691
Okay, what's wrong?
You love my Snarling Hannah.

285
00:13:07,726 --> 00:13:09,627
Helen-Alice and Marika
are mad at me.

286
00:13:09,678 --> 00:13:10,928
Like, really mad.

287
00:13:10,962 --> 00:13:13,197
Madder than the time
I invited my prison pen pal

288
00:13:13,231 --> 00:13:14,498
to stay with us.

289
00:13:14,533 --> 00:13:16,600
You're not gonna tell me
to move out, bitch,

290
00:13:16,635 --> 00:13:20,154
because I'll move your fat ass
out to the curb with my foot!

291
00:13:20,188 --> 00:13:21,305
It was a bad summer.

292
00:13:21,339 --> 00:13:24,675
I often wonder if you can appreciate
the utter insanity

293
00:13:24,726 --> 00:13:26,143
of the things you say.

294
00:13:26,178 --> 00:13:29,046
Um, so, why are they
so mad at you?

295
00:13:29,097 --> 00:13:32,149
Well, ever since high school,
we've thrown this...party.

296
00:13:32,184 --> 00:13:37,071
I used to think it was fun,
but now I just think it's juvenile.

297
00:13:37,105 --> 00:13:39,240
But, Kimmie,
that's what friends are for...

298
00:13:39,274 --> 00:13:41,809
to make you do things
you're not comfortable doing.

299
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:44,211
Sometimes having friends
is the worst.

300
00:13:44,245 --> 00:13:46,463
Have you ever had a colonoscopy?

301
00:13:46,497 --> 00:13:48,398
It's pretty bad.

302
00:13:48,433 --> 00:13:52,386
Anyway, have fun
at your terrible party.

303
00:14:02,246 --> 00:14:03,713
I don't know about you guys,

304
00:14:03,764 --> 00:14:06,232
but my dress still fits
like a freaking glove.

305
00:14:06,266 --> 00:14:08,351
So does the old retainer.

306
00:14:08,385 --> 00:14:10,503
I really should have cleaned this.

307
00:14:10,521 --> 00:14:13,773
Guys, it has been 10 years

308
00:14:13,807 --> 00:14:16,192
since three diamonds in the rough

309
00:14:16,227 --> 00:14:18,545
forged their own prom...
Cookie Prom.

310
00:14:18,579 --> 00:14:20,480
Congratulations.

311
00:14:20,514 --> 00:14:22,826
Mm. Cheers.

312
00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:25,584
Okay, I can't wait anymore.

313
00:14:25,602 --> 00:14:29,038
Prepare to reboot your minds
because I'm about to blow them.

314
00:14:29,089 --> 00:14:30,673
Now, I know you're gonna think
I'm going a little overboard

315
00:14:30,724 --> 00:14:32,141
on this,
but just go with me, okay?

316
00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:34,577
Lots of girls
must have lousy proms, right?

317
00:14:34,611 --> 00:14:37,897
Cookie Prom can extend
past the three of us.

318
00:14:37,931 --> 00:14:42,168
Picture it... a stadium filled
with thousands of girls,

319
00:14:42,202 --> 00:14:46,439
each one of them
holding one of these!

320
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,657
Ooh!

321
00:14:48,708 --> 00:14:50,259
Behold, the cookie-zooka!

322
00:14:50,293 --> 00:14:51,760
Brace yourselves, ladies.

323
00:14:51,794 --> 00:14:54,346
I'm about to launch some dough.

324
00:14:54,364 --> 00:14:56,131
- Oh!
- Whoa!

325
00:14:56,165 --> 00:14:58,083
It's...it's still in beta.

326
00:14:58,101 --> 00:15:00,352
All right, it is time to crown...

327
00:15:00,370 --> 00:15:02,654
the prom queen!

328
00:15:02,672 --> 00:15:04,122
This year, it's you, Kimmie.

329
00:15:04,656 --> 00:15:07,173
Oh, no, you... you can wear it
this year, Helen-Alice.

330
00:15:07,193 --> 00:15:09,094
Put it on. You're the prom queen.
Hey! Just put it on.

331
00:15:09,128 --> 00:15:10,528
You won it fair and square,
Kimster.

332
00:15:10,562 --> 00:15:12,714
No, don't. You're ruining
my professional hair.

333
00:15:12,748 --> 00:15:15,500
We're having fun, so just put it on!

334
00:15:16,535 --> 00:15:18,169
Who is that?

335
00:15:18,204 --> 00:15:20,989
Don't be mad. I know this
is an exclusive event, but...

336
00:15:22,675 --> 00:15:26,127
This isn't a cocktail party, is it?

337
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:35,997
I don't understand.

338
00:15:36,006 --> 00:15:38,335
I thought you were having a
cocktail party with Mr. Warner.

339
00:15:38,407 --> 00:15:42,376
What? No, I've never
thrown a cocktail party.

340
00:15:42,444 --> 00:15:43,577
So, uh, what is this?

341
00:15:43,645 --> 00:15:45,145
Oh.

342
00:15:45,213 --> 00:15:46,280
- This?
- Mm-hmm.

343
00:15:46,348 --> 00:15:49,049
Why, it's just
three ladies sharing cookies

344
00:15:49,117 --> 00:15:50,684
in the privacy
of their own apartment.

345
00:15:50,752 --> 00:15:53,220
No big "D."

346
00:15:53,288 --> 00:15:55,990
Uh, yes, it is a big "D."
It's... yes, it is.

347
00:15:56,057 --> 00:15:57,291
It's a big "D."

348
00:15:57,359 --> 00:16:00,176
It's the biggest "D"
I've ever had in my life.

349
00:16:00,194 --> 00:16:02,829
It's basically just a celebration
of when we couldn't get dates to prom

350
00:16:02,897 --> 00:16:04,631
and everyone made fun of us
so we made our own prom

351
00:16:04,699 --> 00:16:06,433
and the cookies were our dates
until we ate them.

352
00:16:06,501 --> 00:16:08,535
So... We do it every year.

353
00:16:08,603 --> 00:16:10,804
Oh, my gosh,
this is the saddest event

354
00:16:10,872 --> 00:16:13,040
that anyone has ever thrown.

355
00:16:13,107 --> 00:16:15,008
Well, on the surface,
it might appear lame,

356
00:16:15,076 --> 00:16:18,578
but, actually, it's kind of...

357
00:16:18,646 --> 00:16:20,180
ironically cool.

358
00:16:20,248 --> 00:16:23,850
Uh, nope, not ironically cool,
not ironic at all.

359
00:16:23,918 --> 00:16:27,052
In earnest...
100% in earnest.

360
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:29,556
It is a prom
that celebrates cookies!

361
00:16:29,623 --> 00:16:31,491
That's what it is,
and you made it up!

362
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:37,063
Okay, um, I'm gonna get going.

363
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:41,000
Uh, I hope you ladies
enjoy your little cookie party.

364
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:44,003
Oh, but, um,
lady-to-lady lunch tomorrow?

365
00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:45,972
You know, I just remembered
I'm totally booked.

366
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,707
See you at work...Kimmie.

367
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,310
Really? Ironically cool?

368
00:16:54,548 --> 00:16:56,816
Just so I know I didn't hallucinate this.

369
00:16:57,383 --> 00:17:00,118
Okay. That's it.

370
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,588
I am done with this Cookie Prom!

371
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,057
It's a stupid event
made up by a bunch of babies

372
00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:07,292
who need to grow up!

373
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,895
No, Cookie Prom
is a ritual that we created

374
00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:12,197
to help us get through high school,

375
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,366
which wasn't so awesome
if you remember!

376
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,501
How could I not remember?!
You won't let me forget!

377
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:17,803
I think you're just mad

378
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,004
because you got dropped
by the forklift, okay?

379
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:20,572
Classic forklift drop.

380
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,441
Stop saying everything is classic!

381
00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:23,575
Stop yelling!!

382
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,530
It's like
I don't even know you anymore!

383
00:17:25,565 --> 00:17:27,432
Do you even like c-cookies?!

384
00:17:27,467 --> 00:17:29,697
How dare you!

385
00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:32,351
Oh! Oh, no, Kimmie!

386
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:33,519
Okay, guys, calm down!

387
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,587
No, no! Look!
"Hey, I'm Kimberley!"

388
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,570
Helen-Alice, I am warning...

389
00:17:37,605 --> 00:17:38,857
Seriously, I am warning you!

390
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:40,959
You know what?!

391
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:43,428
Remember when I said
you looked good in a strapless?!

392
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:46,197
I lied! You need the support!

393
00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:48,466
Aah! That is it!

394
00:17:50,802 --> 00:17:52,153
Right in the vag.

395
00:18:02,047 --> 00:18:04,115
I'm sorry I hit you with the crown.
I didn't mean to.

396
00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:06,417
It's okay.

397
00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:09,720
You opened my eyes...
by shutting one.

398
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:10,888
Perhaps permanently.

399
00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:12,523
I guess we'll see
what the tests say.

400
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:13,891
I'm so sorry, Kimberley.

401
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:15,760
It's back to Kimmie now.

402
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,662
There she is.

403
00:18:18,229 --> 00:18:20,431
Guys, I'm sorry.

404
00:18:20,498 --> 00:18:23,634
I think I took the whole
Kimberley thing a little too far.

405
00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:27,104
I just didn't want to be Kimmie
from high school anymore.

406
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,773
'Cause I'm so different now.

407
00:18:29,841 --> 00:18:31,075
Yeah, you are. Everybody is.

408
00:18:31,142 --> 00:18:33,477
I'm a different girl
than I was in high school.

409
00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:34,712
Oh, me too... totally changed.

410
00:18:34,779 --> 00:18:37,247
Remember, I used to be
terrified of everything.

411
00:18:37,815 --> 00:18:41,318
Now I ride the subway,
and sometimes I sit.

412
00:18:41,385 --> 00:18:43,987
No, I don't. I don't sit,
but I ride the subway.

413
00:18:44,055 --> 00:18:46,122
I am sorry
that I ruined Cookie Prom.

414
00:18:46,190 --> 00:18:48,892
Okay, seriously, straight up, like,

415
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,527
if I can be real
with you guys right now...

416
00:18:53,464 --> 00:18:55,865
I love pie way more than cookies.

417
00:18:55,933 --> 00:18:57,133
I just liked Cookie Prom

418
00:18:57,201 --> 00:18:58,367
'cause it was something
we all did together.

419
00:18:58,435 --> 00:19:00,336
It's okay. We don't need it

420
00:19:00,404 --> 00:19:02,004
'cause Cookie Prom was just a symbol

421
00:19:02,072 --> 00:19:03,639
of our friendship,
and we will always have that.

422
00:19:03,707 --> 00:19:05,775
If only we could go back in time

423
00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:08,611
to our high-school selves
and tell them it gets better.

424
00:19:08,679 --> 00:19:11,114
The Weitzner brothers
are such jerks.

425
00:19:11,181 --> 00:19:12,448
Why do they have to make fun of us

426
00:19:12,516 --> 00:19:15,018
just because we didn't
have dates to homecoming?

427
00:19:15,085 --> 00:19:16,853
Benny Weitzner
was saying mean things to me

428
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,354
the whole night.

429
00:19:18,422 --> 00:19:21,357
And when I fell, he laughed at me.

430
00:19:21,425 --> 00:19:23,159
Now my dress is ruined.

431
00:19:23,227 --> 00:19:24,994
Oh, come on, Maggie.
Don't cry.

432
00:19:25,062 --> 00:19:26,662
Those guys aren't worth it.

433
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,898
Just once I want to show them

434
00:19:28,966 --> 00:19:32,401
what it feels like
to be made fun of all the time.

435
00:19:32,469 --> 00:19:34,403
That's not ever going to happen.

436
00:19:34,471 --> 00:19:36,072
Excuse me, girls.

437
00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:37,140
Do you happen to know

438
00:19:37,207 --> 00:19:38,641
where these
Weitzner brothers live?

439
00:19:38,709 --> 00:19:42,478
Uh, yeah, on Long Island. Why?

440
00:19:42,546 --> 00:19:43,813
Who are you guys?

441
00:19:43,881 --> 00:19:46,883
We're from the future.

442
00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:49,385
I can't wait to go to this party.
It's gonna be so fun.

443
00:19:49,453 --> 00:19:51,654
Ohh! What is this?!

444
00:19:53,824 --> 00:19:55,324
What the...?

445
00:19:56,427 --> 00:19:58,594
Dude!

446
00:19:58,662 --> 00:19:59,762
Come on!

447
00:20:08,793 --> 00:20:11,397
Yeah, but you see,
we don't call it an elevator.

448
00:20:11,474 --> 00:20:12,816
We call it a lift

449
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,994
or, uh... or the...
I-I-I-I-I some...

450
00:20:15,062 --> 00:20:17,497
I sometimes call it an up-down box

451
00:20:17,565 --> 00:20:18,665
o-or a flying refrigerator.

452
00:20:18,732 --> 00:20:20,667
You can use that, actually.

453
00:20:22,002 --> 00:20:23,937
Sorry. I just have
a very important presentation.

454
00:20:24,004 --> 00:20:25,605
Really? Well,
you need some sustenance.

455
00:20:25,673 --> 00:20:27,440
Why don't you have
some of this yum-yum?

456
00:20:27,508 --> 00:20:28,608
- No.
- Really?

457
00:20:28,676 --> 00:20:30,276
- No.
- Oh, it's nice.

458
00:20:34,214 --> 00:20:35,648
Actually,
I think that's last week's.

459
00:20:35,716 --> 00:20:38,418
Where's this week's one?

460
00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:40,720
Yeah. Yeah, oh, no.

461
00:20:40,788 --> 00:20:42,822
I definitely do like a woman
with very large shoulders.

462
00:20:42,890 --> 00:20:44,490
Or are these pads?

463
00:20:44,558 --> 00:20:46,326
Oh, these are pads, aren't they?

464
00:20:47,561 --> 00:20:49,729
So, you see,
the thing about blackheads...

465
00:20:49,797 --> 00:20:51,397
they're not actually black,
not by a mile.

466
00:20:51,465 --> 00:20:53,066
This is another example

467
00:20:53,133 --> 00:20:55,168
of the skin-care companies
being racist.

468
00:20:55,236 --> 00:20:57,303
Oh, yes, and it doesn't
just end there.

469
00:20:58,472 --> 00:21:00,139
So, I set up a subscription,

470
00:21:00,207 --> 00:21:02,809
and now they send me
a new cat every month.

471
00:21:02,877 --> 00:21:05,078
Oh.

472
00:21:07,566 --> 00:21:11,805
Sync and corrected by <font color="#FF0000">Elderfel</font>
www.addic7ed.com

