1 00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:10,266 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 2 00:00:10,291 --> 00:00:11,211 Tonight: 3 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,752 Two swans move their heads about... 4 00:00:14,769 --> 00:00:17,379 I eat a shoe... 5 00:00:17,395 --> 00:00:19,572 and James says he's not fat. 6 00:00:19,573 --> 00:00:21,029 I'm not fat. 7 00:00:28,264 --> 00:00:29,492 Welcome, everybody. 8 00:00:29,493 --> 00:00:30,732 Hello, good evening. 9 00:00:30,733 --> 00:00:33,532 Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. 10 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,212 Now... 11 00:00:35,213 --> 00:00:39,972 Thank you. Now, our deep and profound love on this show 12 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:45,092 for Alfa Romeo is a triumph of hope over reality. 13 00:00:45,093 --> 00:00:48,782 We always pray that their new models will be brilliant 14 00:00:48,783 --> 00:00:51,852 but sort of know they won't be and then they never are. 15 00:00:51,853 --> 00:00:53,542 But what about this? 16 00:00:53,543 --> 00:00:56,772 The new and very pretty 4C. 17 00:00:56,773 --> 00:01:01,003 Well, Richard Hammond has been to Northern Italy, in the sunshine, 18 00:01:01,004 --> 00:01:04,492 to find out all about it. 19 00:01:04,493 --> 00:01:06,473 Jammy little bu... 20 00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:23,062 Right, let's get this straight - 21 00:01:23,063 --> 00:01:26,465 I'm in a mid-engined, two-seater Alfa Romeo. 22 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:32,104 The first proper Alfa sports car for 20 years. 23 00:01:34,723 --> 00:01:39,642 And I'm driving it in Northern Italy, on a lovely day. 24 00:01:39,643 --> 00:01:42,931 In theory, things don't get much better. 25 00:01:44,933 --> 00:01:50,076 But, predictably, there are one or two problems. 26 00:01:53,083 --> 00:01:57,502 First of all, it's going to cost around £45,000. 27 00:01:57,503 --> 00:02:02,852 And that's a fair bit, especially as you don't get a V8, or even V6. 28 00:02:02,853 --> 00:02:07,342 What you do get is a turbo-charged, reworked version of the 1.7 litre, 29 00:02:07,343 --> 00:02:11,013 four-cylinder engine from a Giulietta hatchback. 30 00:02:11,014 --> 00:02:12,852 And under here... 31 00:02:12,853 --> 00:02:17,086 Well, I don't know what's under here cos the bonnet is bolted shut. 32 00:02:20,134 --> 00:02:25,422 It's bolted shut for the same reason this car has no power steering, 33 00:02:25,423 --> 00:02:28,542 and no proper climate control - 34 00:02:28,543 --> 00:02:31,263 to save weight. 35 00:02:31,264 --> 00:02:33,292 That's why it has the same sort of 36 00:02:33,293 --> 00:02:37,143 carbon-fibre chassis as a Formula 1 car. 37 00:02:37,144 --> 00:02:41,024 It's why there's almost no metal in the body at all. 38 00:02:42,933 --> 00:02:48,302 The upshot is, the 4C weighs just 925kg. 39 00:02:48,303 --> 00:02:52,524 That's about half what a Mercedes SLK weighs. 40 00:02:57,493 --> 00:03:01,802 And on a road like this, that really pays dividends. 41 00:03:01,803 --> 00:03:03,492 Oh, come on! 42 00:03:03,493 --> 00:03:04,836 Lovely. 43 00:03:07,134 --> 00:03:10,582 Because it's light, it's unbelievably agile. 44 00:03:10,583 --> 00:03:14,360 It changes direction like a kitten chasing a spider. 45 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:25,263 And because there's no power steering, I can feel 46 00:03:25,264 --> 00:03:28,871 far more at the steering wheel and know what the wheels are doing. 47 00:03:32,423 --> 00:03:33,913 It grips... 48 00:03:35,264 --> 00:03:36,743 fabulously. 49 00:03:39,613 --> 00:03:41,772 It doesn't need a massive engine - 50 00:03:41,773 --> 00:03:46,092 it's got 237 brake horsepower. Do you know what? That is enough. 51 00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:47,481 More than enough. 52 00:03:50,993 --> 00:03:54,782 0 to 60 takes four-and-a-half seconds. 53 00:03:54,783 --> 00:03:57,092 The top speed is 160. 54 00:03:57,093 --> 00:04:01,655 And yet, because of the lightness, it'll do 40 miles to the gallon. 55 00:04:05,063 --> 00:04:07,293 Drop a window, sample the noise. 56 00:04:08,863 --> 00:04:12,026 Oh! Lovely little crackle on the up-shift. 57 00:04:13,813 --> 00:04:17,082 Oh, it's great. 58 00:04:17,083 --> 00:04:20,212 This little Alfa is growing on me with a speed 59 00:04:20,213 --> 00:04:23,702 and ferocity that I've never before encountered. 60 00:04:23,703 --> 00:04:25,910 It's just getting under my skin. 61 00:04:27,144 --> 00:04:29,782 Because it's not like anything else... 62 00:04:29,783 --> 00:04:32,222 Oh, my God! 63 00:04:32,223 --> 00:04:33,588 What? 64 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,772 What are you doing here? 65 00:04:38,773 --> 00:04:43,222 As you well know, Hammond, we receive thousands of letters 66 00:04:43,223 --> 00:04:47,102 every single week from viewers and they all say the same thing. 67 00:04:47,103 --> 00:04:50,143 "Dear Top so-called Gear, the Alfa 4C, 68 00:04:50,144 --> 00:04:52,273 "is it better than quad bike?" 69 00:04:52,274 --> 00:04:55,302 Well, I can clear than one up straight away - yes, it is because 70 00:04:55,303 --> 00:05:00,133 quad bikes are slow, ugly, noisy, stupid and incredibly dangerous. 71 00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:02,542 And I don't mean dangerous like you might fall off, 72 00:05:02,543 --> 00:05:04,062 I mean like they want to kill you. 73 00:05:04,063 --> 00:05:07,023 Everybody I know, pretty much, who's ever tried one, has been 74 00:05:07,024 --> 00:05:08,292 killed by it at some point. 75 00:05:08,293 --> 00:05:11,222 Yup. That's as maybe, but we need to settle this, 76 00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:13,772 so we're going to have a race. We're going to race? Yeah. 77 00:05:13,773 --> 00:05:15,422 You on that, presumably? Yeah. 78 00:05:15,423 --> 00:05:17,452 Me in that? Yeah. 79 00:05:17,453 --> 00:05:21,982 Jeremy's proposal was a race from the top of Lake Como 80 00:05:21,983 --> 00:05:24,652 to a hotel terrace at the bottom. 81 00:05:24,653 --> 00:05:27,622 I would take the 43-mile lakeside route, 82 00:05:27,623 --> 00:05:31,002 whilst he would attempt to go as the crow flies. 83 00:05:32,813 --> 00:05:35,123 Good, you're going to be killed and last. 84 00:05:36,623 --> 00:05:42,460 And so, at exactly 10.37am, the race began. 85 00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:48,232 Here we go. 86 00:05:52,183 --> 00:05:55,422 Let me talk you through my quad. 87 00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:57,732 It's called a Gibbs Quadski, 88 00:05:57,733 --> 00:06:02,732 designed and engineered in Britain, built just outside Detroit 89 00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:07,582 and the engine is German - a 1.3 from a BMW motorcycle. 90 00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:09,950 And you have 40 horsepower. 91 00:06:11,303 --> 00:06:14,113 Doesn't sound like much but like the Alfa, it's light. 92 00:06:15,703 --> 00:06:19,622 Apparently it has the same power-to-weight ratio 93 00:06:19,623 --> 00:06:21,011 as a helicopter. 94 00:06:22,894 --> 00:06:26,312 He's mad. I mean, he doesn't stand a chance. 95 00:06:26,313 --> 00:06:27,702 I know what he's thinking - 96 00:06:27,703 --> 00:06:31,582 he's imagining he'll be crashing off-road and cutting corners. 97 00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:35,252 He won't - he'll be bumbling through the woods on little tracks, 98 00:06:35,253 --> 00:06:38,359 he'll get stuck, fall off, break a leg - maybe two. 99 00:06:40,613 --> 00:06:43,462 Hammond was wrong. My legs were fine, 100 00:06:43,463 --> 00:06:49,013 but I had got into a bit of a pickle trying to find a shortcut. 101 00:06:49,014 --> 00:06:50,072 Totally lost. 102 00:06:50,073 --> 00:06:52,235 Literally no idea which... 103 00:06:53,703 --> 00:06:54,802 No idea. 104 00:06:54,803 --> 00:06:56,919 I'm just in weeds... 105 00:06:58,743 --> 00:07:01,030 Oh, now which way? 106 00:07:02,503 --> 00:07:04,772 With Jeremy stuck in the undergrowth, 107 00:07:04,773 --> 00:07:11,201 I had time to admire one of the most beautiful places on Earth. 108 00:07:18,663 --> 00:07:23,533 Ah! Mountains, pretty village - all present and correct. 109 00:07:27,894 --> 00:07:29,092 Coming through. 110 00:07:29,093 --> 00:07:34,252 See, this scooter rider will not mind me whizzing past in my Alfa Romeo, 111 00:07:34,253 --> 00:07:39,342 because I know he loves Alfa Romeo just as much, if not more, than I do. 112 00:07:39,343 --> 00:07:42,552 We have to love Alfa, it's the law. 113 00:07:44,743 --> 00:07:46,572 Meanwhile... 114 00:07:46,573 --> 00:07:49,903 Oh. God. No, wait. 115 00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:52,462 Many nettles. 116 00:07:52,463 --> 00:07:54,592 This may have a top speed of 40 117 00:07:54,593 --> 00:07:57,342 but I'm not doing that now, really. 118 00:07:57,343 --> 00:07:58,972 Happily, however, 119 00:07:58,973 --> 00:08:04,782 Hammond was about to discover one of the Alfa's drawbacks - its girth. 120 00:08:04,783 --> 00:08:08,472 Oh, no! Oh, my God, this is narrow! 121 00:08:08,473 --> 00:08:10,952 Oh! That's... 122 00:08:10,953 --> 00:08:14,542 This car is wide. 123 00:08:14,543 --> 00:08:16,090 That's a problem. 124 00:08:17,183 --> 00:08:20,732 So what were they thinking when they've got streets like this? 125 00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,315 I mean... Oh! 126 00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:26,390 Still, could be worse. 127 00:08:31,183 --> 00:08:35,232 Oh, no! Now look what I've done. 128 00:08:35,233 --> 00:08:38,271 I've accidentally crashed into Lake Como. 129 00:08:40,024 --> 00:08:44,757 But it's OK, because if I push this little button here... 130 00:08:50,433 --> 00:08:55,246 the wheels have folded up and now I'm on a jet ski. 131 00:08:56,743 --> 00:09:01,502 Oh, and it gets better because, on land, it has 40 horsepower, 132 00:09:01,503 --> 00:09:05,519 but here on water it has 140. 133 00:09:10,653 --> 00:09:15,502 I know exactly what music we have to play right now. 134 00:09:15,503 --> 00:09:17,422 ♪ We are sailing... ♪ 135 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:18,862 No, not that! 136 00:09:18,863 --> 00:09:20,001 Cue the Bond! 137 00:09:33,503 --> 00:09:35,782 Here we go - 45 miles an hour! 138 00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:39,879 Hammond, wherever you are, you can't beat this. 139 00:09:44,503 --> 00:09:47,518 Narrow. Really narrow. Really wide car. 140 00:09:48,693 --> 00:09:52,402 I'd like to be driving something narrower now, like a bus. 141 00:09:54,613 --> 00:09:57,890 Right, clear of town, press on. 142 00:10:04,513 --> 00:10:07,302 So let's just get this straight - 143 00:10:07,303 --> 00:10:11,882 I'm wearing a wet white shirt and I'm in a lake - I'm Mr Darcy! 144 00:10:11,883 --> 00:10:13,317 Come on! 145 00:10:21,233 --> 00:10:23,770 There is Richard Hammond. 146 00:10:26,154 --> 00:10:29,502 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 147 00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,252 I'll slow down a bit. 148 00:10:31,253 --> 00:10:33,462 'Hello? Hello?' 149 00:10:33,463 --> 00:10:35,452 Er, hello. Where are you? 150 00:10:35,453 --> 00:10:38,262 'To your left, mate, to your left.' 151 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:41,023 You can't be to my left. How can you be to my left? 152 00:10:41,024 --> 00:10:42,942 What? 153 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:46,302 'Have you ever seen anything like this?' 154 00:10:46,303 --> 00:10:50,052 What are you on? Is that the same quad? 155 00:10:50,053 --> 00:10:51,692 It certainly is. 156 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:55,532 And I'm afraid I must now say goodbye. 157 00:10:55,533 --> 00:10:57,547 'Cheerio. See you soon.' 158 00:10:59,863 --> 00:11:02,332 Cheating sod! 159 00:11:04,034 --> 00:11:06,662 He can just go straight across the lake now. 160 00:11:06,663 --> 00:11:09,342 I've got to go all the way down the bottom here 161 00:11:09,343 --> 00:11:11,382 and back up the other side. 162 00:11:11,383 --> 00:11:15,320 I'm going to lose this and he's going to do his stupid smug face. 163 00:11:18,313 --> 00:11:20,884 Spurred on by the horror of his face... 164 00:11:23,463 --> 00:11:25,716 I put the hammer down. 165 00:11:29,793 --> 00:11:31,966 Come on, little Alfa. 166 00:11:38,103 --> 00:11:40,102 We were neck and neck, 167 00:11:40,103 --> 00:11:43,812 but then Jeremy got distracted by an Italian ferry. 168 00:11:45,613 --> 00:11:47,695 Look at that! 169 00:11:49,383 --> 00:11:51,897 What a machine. 170 00:11:53,034 --> 00:11:56,891 I'm sorry I'm hearing the Bond music again now. 171 00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,702 You want a race? 172 00:11:59,703 --> 00:12:01,444 I'll give you a race. 173 00:12:17,113 --> 00:12:20,640 Oh, come on, I can't lose this! 174 00:12:26,823 --> 00:12:30,952 By this stage, I'd disentangled myself from the hydrofoil, 175 00:12:30,953 --> 00:12:36,278 but had run into another problem - Lake Como's weird winds. 176 00:12:38,863 --> 00:12:41,321 Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! 177 00:12:42,823 --> 00:12:44,689 I think we've got some chop. 178 00:12:46,774 --> 00:12:48,048 WOW! 179 00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:50,542 I've lost ten miles... 180 00:12:50,543 --> 00:12:52,062 Aw! 181 00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:55,542 Ow, my back bottom! 182 00:12:55,543 --> 00:12:58,312 Wow! Wow! 183 00:12:58,313 --> 00:12:59,929 They slow you down a bit. 184 00:13:01,343 --> 00:13:03,232 Oh, my... 185 00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:05,142 That was a big one. 186 00:13:05,143 --> 00:13:09,312 I'm now down to 15 miles an hour, and I can't realistically go 187 00:13:09,313 --> 00:13:13,903 any faster, cos I can't see where I'm bloody going. 188 00:13:13,904 --> 00:13:17,135 The vicious chop had put Hammond back in the lead. 189 00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:23,266 We have to beat him. 190 00:13:28,953 --> 00:13:33,062 Thankfully, on the lake, I'd found calmer water. 191 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:35,407 45 miles an hour. 192 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:40,294 We are back in this race. 193 00:13:50,313 --> 00:13:53,622 There he is. There is Richard Hammond. 194 00:13:53,623 --> 00:13:56,192 Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! 195 00:13:56,193 --> 00:13:58,982 Goodbye, Hammond. 196 00:13:58,983 --> 00:14:01,281 He is history. 197 00:14:04,983 --> 00:14:07,132 It certainly seemed that way, 198 00:14:07,133 --> 00:14:10,672 because pretty soon the hotel was in sight. 199 00:14:10,673 --> 00:14:13,756 There it is, there's the finishing line. 200 00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:19,132 So, I was definitely going to win this. 201 00:14:19,133 --> 00:14:24,592 But then I realised the victory would be a bit hollow. 202 00:14:24,593 --> 00:14:28,992 Obviously, I want to beat Hammond, of course I do. 203 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:33,913 But I don't want to beat that Alfa Romeo, because, to me, 204 00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:36,272 Alfas are special. 205 00:14:36,273 --> 00:14:38,832 They're really special. 206 00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:42,672 This is a bit like having a running race with your four-year-old son - 207 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:47,201 yes, of course you can win, but you don't really want to. 208 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,803 It's not far now. 209 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,919 Little Alfa, I think we have to accept the inevitable. 210 00:14:59,473 --> 00:15:01,102 He's not there, is he? 211 00:15:01,103 --> 00:15:04,033 In a few minutes, Hammond would arrive 212 00:15:04,034 --> 00:15:09,033 and see my Quadski moored alongside the hotel's jetty. 213 00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:11,878 Damn and blast, I'm going to win this. 214 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:14,903 Nothing I can do. 215 00:15:14,904 --> 00:15:16,412 But then... 216 00:15:16,413 --> 00:15:18,622 I spotted a hidey-hole. 217 00:15:18,623 --> 00:15:20,557 Yes! 218 00:15:22,113 --> 00:15:26,767 Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius. 219 00:15:28,784 --> 00:15:32,004 Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. 220 00:15:40,623 --> 00:15:43,411 Right, where is he? 221 00:15:57,983 --> 00:16:00,327 This is the terrace. 222 00:16:02,473 --> 00:16:03,804 Up here maybe. 223 00:16:10,914 --> 00:16:12,439 Do you know what? 224 00:16:15,393 --> 00:16:20,718 He no here. I don't know how. What I've done is win... 225 00:16:21,753 --> 00:16:26,923 in that little Alfa. Hammond! Mate. Well done. 226 00:16:26,924 --> 00:16:29,272 You beat me fair and square. I did. 227 00:16:29,273 --> 00:16:34,112 In the Alfa. Do you know? I would have bet £1 million... 228 00:16:34,113 --> 00:16:37,651 when I overtook you, I was going to win. 229 00:16:44,823 --> 00:16:47,783 Your question is answered. 230 00:16:47,784 --> 00:16:51,982 The Alfa 4C is better than the quad bike. 231 00:16:51,983 --> 00:16:56,322 Yes, but we saw you lose on purpose. A bit, just a bit. 232 00:16:56,323 --> 00:16:58,602 Did you not like the jet ski, Quadski thing? 233 00:16:58,603 --> 00:16:59,793 Yes, it's brilliant. 234 00:16:59,794 --> 00:17:02,622 Do you know, the best thing about it is its reliability. 235 00:17:02,623 --> 00:17:05,502 It performed faultlessly all day 236 00:17:05,503 --> 00:17:09,322 and then it performed faultlessly all the next day 237 00:17:09,323 --> 00:17:12,702 when we had to rerun the race because an American 238 00:17:12,703 --> 00:17:16,492 knocked the camera with all the film it into the lake. Really? 239 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:21,112 I was on this thing for two days, two days. 240 00:17:21,113 --> 00:17:25,721 By the time we finished, my sausage looked like a beaver's tail. 241 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:33,962 Right, um, is it expensive? What, my sausage? No, the thing. 242 00:17:33,963 --> 00:17:37,192 Oh, the thing, yes, it's £26,000, but, no, hang on, 243 00:17:37,193 --> 00:17:42,832 you do get a lot of health and safety warning notices for that. 244 00:17:42,833 --> 00:17:45,232 This is my favourite down here. 245 00:17:45,233 --> 00:17:50,402 It's warning about what you have to wear and it says, hang on, 246 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:55,322 "Normal swimwear does not adequately protect against forceful 247 00:17:55,323 --> 00:17:59,362 "water entry into rectum or vagina." 248 00:18:05,263 --> 00:18:09,422 He's not making that up. It says vagina on it. 249 00:18:09,423 --> 00:18:12,712 Excuse me, does anyone mind if we talk about the car for a bit? 250 00:18:12,713 --> 00:18:14,783 It's a car show and everything. 251 00:18:14,784 --> 00:18:19,142 Good, cos I've got some questions about this. How wide is it? 252 00:18:19,143 --> 00:18:22,182 It's wider than a Range Rover. Is it? Seriously? Very wide. 253 00:18:22,183 --> 00:18:23,952 And let me get this straight, 254 00:18:23,953 --> 00:18:28,272 Alfa Romeo is selling a car where you can't open the bonnet? 255 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,582 Yeah, I know. 256 00:18:29,583 --> 00:18:31,872 Ballsy. Yeah. Ballsy. It is, yes, 257 00:18:31,873 --> 00:18:35,272 but that's not the interesting thing about it. 258 00:18:35,273 --> 00:18:36,793 What is the interesting thing? 259 00:18:36,794 --> 00:18:39,043 Well, it costs £47,000, but when you get in it, 260 00:18:39,044 --> 00:18:43,903 everything feels just feels a bit cheap and plasticky. 261 00:18:43,904 --> 00:18:47,312 Look at this handbrake, it's just... 262 00:18:47,313 --> 00:18:50,822 It's like something that came out of a cracker. 263 00:18:50,823 --> 00:18:53,232 You know, if I got the handbrake in a Christmas cracker, 264 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:56,793 I'd be a bit disappointed. You know what I mean. Yes, I do. 265 00:18:56,794 --> 00:19:00,322 It's just that there are a lot of EU rules coming very soon 266 00:19:00,323 --> 00:19:02,762 on fuel efficiency and emissions and so on, 267 00:19:02,763 --> 00:19:05,182 and the only way that cars can meet them 268 00:19:05,183 --> 00:19:07,932 is if they get very, very light. 269 00:19:07,933 --> 00:19:11,222 Yeah. And pretty soon, all cars will have to be made like this, 270 00:19:11,223 --> 00:19:14,582 but do you know what? I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. 271 00:19:14,583 --> 00:19:18,272 Yes, you get a shonky handbrake, but your car is more nimble. 272 00:19:18,273 --> 00:19:20,592 It's faster and it's more economical. 273 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:24,942 And for the ultimate expression of that art, later in the show, 274 00:19:24,943 --> 00:19:32,062 we have a review of this - the new McLaren P1, which is astonishing. 275 00:19:32,063 --> 00:19:37,512 Well, I am very much looking forward to that, but first it's the news. 276 00:19:37,513 --> 00:19:42,062 Yes. Now Kia is working on something called "gesture control". 277 00:19:42,063 --> 00:19:45,702 It's very interesting, because of instead of having 278 00:19:45,703 --> 00:19:49,462 buttons all over the dashboard of your car, you just 279 00:19:49,463 --> 00:19:53,302 sort of wave your hand around a bit, and the car will do stuff. 280 00:19:53,303 --> 00:19:54,783 Very futuristic. 281 00:19:54,784 --> 00:19:58,163 Yeah, but I only make three gestures when I'm driving a car. 282 00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:02,033 What? One of them is... 283 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,312 which means I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to do that. 284 00:20:05,313 --> 00:20:09,090 Then there's... hi, to a friend. And... Call Jeremy Clarkson. 285 00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:14,930 Or navigate to James May's house. 286 00:20:16,784 --> 00:20:20,072 Oh, now, now... you know those motorway gantries 287 00:20:20,073 --> 00:20:21,942 that are supposed to be used to tell you 288 00:20:21,943 --> 00:20:25,512 about stationary traffic ahead or ice, but they're actually used 289 00:20:25,513 --> 00:20:28,222 for telling you stuff that doesn't matter. 290 00:20:28,223 --> 00:20:32,582 We've got a picture of one here - "Check your fuel level." 291 00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:35,432 It might as well say, "Wash your hands after going to the lavatory." 292 00:20:35,433 --> 00:20:36,712 "Brush your hair." 293 00:20:36,713 --> 00:20:39,793 Well, anyway, the committee that decides on what messages flashed up - 294 00:20:39,794 --> 00:20:42,762 and it is a committee, we checked - has been told to stop doing 295 00:20:42,763 --> 00:20:46,952 that sort of thing, OK, because the government says it's distracting. 296 00:20:46,953 --> 00:20:49,192 But it isn't distracting, it's irritating. 297 00:20:49,193 --> 00:20:52,222 Scarlett Johansson in a short skirt on a windy day on a motorway bridge, 298 00:20:52,223 --> 00:20:55,762 that is distracting. That would be. It's distracting now. 299 00:20:55,763 --> 00:20:57,232 It's distracting me right now. 300 00:20:57,233 --> 00:21:00,673 I think what would be distracting would be painting 301 00:21:00,674 --> 00:21:03,592 the surface of the motorway so it looked like the opening sequences 302 00:21:03,593 --> 00:21:05,632 of Doctor Who as you drove along. 303 00:21:05,633 --> 00:21:07,632 That would be really distracting. 304 00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:11,043 I think they should use those signs to put up a pub quiz questions 305 00:21:11,044 --> 00:21:14,663 as you drive past. That's a really good idea. 306 00:21:14,664 --> 00:21:17,402 What, and then you'd have the answer on the next one along? 307 00:21:17,403 --> 00:21:20,082 Yes, journeys would just fly by. "ooh, I don't know." 308 00:21:20,083 --> 00:21:22,762 And then you get the answer. That's brilliant. Yes, thank you. 309 00:21:22,763 --> 00:21:24,562 Not if my little sister set the questions. 310 00:21:24,563 --> 00:21:26,402 Why? Because you'd get the question on one, 311 00:21:26,403 --> 00:21:29,302 and then the next one would go, "Oh, come on, you must know that!" 312 00:21:29,303 --> 00:21:32,793 Please can we move on? I'd like to talk about this. 313 00:21:32,794 --> 00:21:35,222 It's the new Corvette Z06. Oh, yes. 314 00:21:35,223 --> 00:21:38,352 Supercharged V86.2 litres 625 brake horsepower. 315 00:21:38,353 --> 00:21:42,112 It's got a magnetic ride control, electronic diff, carbon fibre. 316 00:21:42,113 --> 00:21:45,502 All the hi-tech stuff you get on a European sports car... 317 00:21:45,503 --> 00:21:48,592 But does it have the European self-restraint, though, does it? 318 00:21:48,593 --> 00:21:50,793 It's a bit more shock 'em all than stiff upper lip. 319 00:21:50,794 --> 00:21:52,482 Yes, but look at it. 320 00:21:52,483 --> 00:21:55,582 No, Hammond, you can't drive a Corvette in England. 321 00:21:55,583 --> 00:21:58,472 It's like talking in a lift - you can do that in America, 322 00:21:58,473 --> 00:22:00,392 you can't do that in Britain. 323 00:22:00,393 --> 00:22:03,122 In fact, we should have signs at Heathrow telling American visitors, 324 00:22:03,123 --> 00:22:05,952 "Please drive on the left and don't talk in lifts." 325 00:22:05,953 --> 00:22:09,032 Yes, yes, whatever, but I think that looks stupendous. 326 00:22:09,033 --> 00:22:12,663 Yes, yes, it would look stupendous in Texas, 327 00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:16,432 but it would look ridiculous in Tewkesbury. It would. 328 00:22:16,433 --> 00:22:19,192 Hammond, if you bought one of those and drove it around England, 329 00:22:19,193 --> 00:22:21,562 the next thing you would be hanging up a Confederate flag 330 00:22:21,563 --> 00:22:22,722 outside your house. 331 00:22:22,723 --> 00:22:25,712 I did paint a Confederate flag on the roof of my Toyota Corolla 332 00:22:25,713 --> 00:22:26,772 when I was 17. 333 00:22:26,773 --> 00:22:29,482 Where were you? Ripon. North Yorkshire. 334 00:22:29,483 --> 00:22:32,032 What? It looked brilliant. Let me just get this straight. 335 00:22:32,033 --> 00:22:35,552 You drove around North Yorkshire in a crappy little Japanese hatchback 336 00:22:35,553 --> 00:22:39,512 with a Confederate flag on the roof? 337 00:22:39,513 --> 00:22:43,404 Yes. Yes. A symbol of slavery. 338 00:22:46,033 --> 00:22:48,793 Ladies and gentlemen, 12 Years A Hammond! 339 00:22:48,794 --> 00:22:51,472 I didn't realise - I just thought it looked nice. 340 00:22:51,473 --> 00:22:53,282 The base model of this - not the Z06, 341 00:22:53,283 --> 00:22:55,122 the normal one - 60 grand? 62, yes. 342 00:22:55,123 --> 00:22:58,442 Well, for about the same sort of money, you can have this, 343 00:22:58,443 --> 00:22:59,842 which is the new jag. 344 00:22:59,843 --> 00:23:01,202 This is the F-type Coupe. 345 00:23:01,203 --> 00:23:04,783 That's around the same sort of money, and I put it to you that 346 00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:06,382 what we have here is a lovely piece 347 00:23:06,383 --> 00:23:10,112 of double Gloucester on a water biscuit. 348 00:23:10,113 --> 00:23:12,482 Your Corvette is 600 kilos of... 349 00:23:12,483 --> 00:23:14,673 (AMERICAN ACCENT) ..Monterrey Jack on a taco. 350 00:23:14,674 --> 00:23:16,592 Yeah, that's right. I'd rather have that. 351 00:23:16,593 --> 00:23:19,022 You'd rather have the Monterey Jack, wouldn't you? 352 00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:21,482 Yes. Hang on a minute. Surely it's 600 kilograms of... 353 00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:24,622 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Monterey Jack on a taco with a strawberry on top. 354 00:23:24,623 --> 00:23:25,671 Strawberry. 355 00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:27,461 At as long as there's a strawberry on top. 356 00:23:27,462 --> 00:23:29,111 Are there any Americans here? Whoo! 357 00:23:29,112 --> 00:23:31,511 You are. Oh, we've wondered about this for years. 358 00:23:31,512 --> 00:23:33,351 Why do you put these on everything? 359 00:23:33,352 --> 00:23:35,980 Because they taste good. Yes, but not on a shepherd's pie. 360 00:23:37,552 --> 00:23:40,341 This is not an exaggeration. I stayed in a hotel in LA. 361 00:23:40,342 --> 00:23:42,752 I had to have some dry cleaning done, and when it came back 362 00:23:42,753 --> 00:23:45,632 in the morning, it was all wrapped up, and there was a strawberry on it. 363 00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:47,991 What, on your dry-cleaning? On my dry-cleaning. 364 00:23:47,992 --> 00:23:50,801 Now, this isn't news - it's a question. 365 00:23:50,802 --> 00:23:53,401 Why is the world still incapable of working out 366 00:23:53,402 --> 00:23:55,831 a way of dispensing petrol? Anyone been to America? 367 00:23:55,832 --> 00:23:58,601 Well, you've all been to America, I suppose, at some point. 368 00:23:58,602 --> 00:24:00,271 You go into a petrol station there 369 00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:04,191 and you have to pay for the fuel before you fill your tank. 370 00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:05,752 Well, you don't know how much you want 371 00:24:05,753 --> 00:24:07,161 or how much it's going to take. 372 00:24:07,162 --> 00:24:09,081 Yes, but I hate those European stations 373 00:24:09,082 --> 00:24:11,551 where they have those automatic credit card ones. Don't work. 374 00:24:11,552 --> 00:24:13,901 Never ever work. The other one that doesn't work, 375 00:24:13,902 --> 00:24:16,191 and especially in France, are those ones 376 00:24:16,192 --> 00:24:18,752 where you're supposed to put euro notes in a little slot. 377 00:24:18,753 --> 00:24:22,405 No. You put it in and it goes, "Nnnngh! Nnnngh!" Oh. 378 00:24:23,633 --> 00:24:26,622 There's a lot of people doing that, and it goes, "Nnnngh!" 379 00:24:26,623 --> 00:24:29,471 I'll give you the worst scenario, James. 380 00:24:29,472 --> 00:24:31,261 Worst scenario is, "Nnnngh!" 381 00:24:31,262 --> 00:24:33,471 "Yes, there we go," get the pump out, "Nnnngh!" 382 00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:38,831 But the worst country in the world for filling up with petrol is Britain, 383 00:24:38,832 --> 00:24:44,271 because petrol stations here now are also supermarkets, 384 00:24:44,272 --> 00:24:46,401 which means that people pull up at the pump 385 00:24:46,402 --> 00:24:47,882 and then go and do their shopping. 386 00:24:47,883 --> 00:24:49,961 Well, that is exactly why I was late this morning, 387 00:24:49,962 --> 00:24:52,321 cos I pulled up behind the car that was at the pump 388 00:24:52,322 --> 00:24:54,981 ready for my turn and I knew who it was through the window - 389 00:24:54,982 --> 00:24:58,271 it was a woman and she was doing the whole weekly groceries shop - 390 00:24:58,272 --> 00:25:00,791 and she came out with the four massive carrier bags, 391 00:25:00,792 --> 00:25:02,471 and I thought, "That's finally it," 392 00:25:02,472 --> 00:25:04,541 and then she went to the cash machine... Oh... 393 00:25:04,542 --> 00:25:08,261 sorted out Greece's national debt with her card. 394 00:25:08,262 --> 00:25:10,711 I am a patient man, but even I... I was thinking, 395 00:25:10,712 --> 00:25:13,911 "I want to put your head in a brown paper bag and bludgeon you to death 396 00:25:13,912 --> 00:25:16,551 "with the blunt end of an axe." 397 00:25:16,552 --> 00:25:19,911 That's quite bad. Do you know? My question is petrol stations is - 398 00:25:19,912 --> 00:25:23,471 and we could ask this here - and it's mostly women, 399 00:25:23,472 --> 00:25:27,762 what do you do in the 15 minutes between getting into the car 400 00:25:27,763 --> 00:25:28,911 and driving off? 401 00:25:28,912 --> 00:25:32,161 I know what it is, I know what it is. What? I watched it. 402 00:25:32,162 --> 00:25:34,991 She turned round and she put her handbag on the back seat, 403 00:25:34,992 --> 00:25:38,752 fair enough, but then interfered with it for some time. 404 00:25:38,753 --> 00:25:40,421 Doing what, though? 405 00:25:40,422 --> 00:25:43,521 I suspect women try to make sure their handbag doesn't fall over, 406 00:25:43,522 --> 00:25:47,121 which I don't understand, because women's handbags are not well organised, 407 00:25:47,122 --> 00:25:49,431 so it doesn't matter if it falls over. 408 00:25:49,432 --> 00:25:52,762 I reckon I could put a house brick in a woman's handbag, 409 00:25:52,763 --> 00:25:57,471 and she would not know it was there ever. Have you got handbag with you? 410 00:25:57,472 --> 00:26:00,632 No. You haven't? Anyone got handbag? It's in the car. 411 00:26:00,633 --> 00:26:02,892 That's a shame, because I was going to do this game. 412 00:26:02,893 --> 00:26:04,201 I was going to put my car keys, 413 00:26:04,202 --> 00:26:07,121 and it's a jag this week, in your handbag and then, 414 00:26:07,122 --> 00:26:10,521 if you could find them by the end of the show, you could have the car. 415 00:26:10,522 --> 00:26:12,261 You wouldn't be able to. 416 00:26:12,262 --> 00:26:15,481 Two angry old men rampaging on about petrol stations. 417 00:26:15,482 --> 00:26:18,076 Him and his cardigan, him... just him. 418 00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:22,351 Now, as I'm sure you know, after 13 years, 419 00:26:22,352 --> 00:26:25,551 the British military forces are pulling out of Afghanistan. 420 00:26:25,552 --> 00:26:29,191 What you may not know is that that operation has been the biggest deployment 421 00:26:29,192 --> 00:26:33,231 of British military vehicles since World War ll. 422 00:26:33,232 --> 00:26:36,872 Now, bringing that lot home is quite a big job, 423 00:26:36,873 --> 00:26:40,980 so I packed my tin helmet and went out there to... get in the way. 424 00:26:45,782 --> 00:26:49,681 'If you want to get a sense of just how big the British involvement 425 00:26:49,682 --> 00:26:52,882 'in Afghanistan has become, 426 00:26:52,883 --> 00:26:57,127 'you just have to look at the size of its main base - Camp Bastion.' 427 00:27:01,992 --> 00:27:05,991 In 2006, when British forces arrived here, 428 00:27:05,992 --> 00:27:10,892 it was just a scrap of desert with a few tents in, but now look. 429 00:27:10,893 --> 00:27:12,452 It's the size of Reading. 430 00:27:20,912 --> 00:27:25,831 'And inside its 25 miles of blast-proof perimeter wall 431 00:27:25,832 --> 00:27:29,281 'alongside the few comforts of home, 432 00:27:29,282 --> 00:27:32,934 'you'll find a vast armada of vehicles. 433 00:27:36,152 --> 00:27:40,373 'At its peak, the number was 5,000.' 434 00:27:42,643 --> 00:27:44,521 We've got a few of them here. 435 00:27:44,522 --> 00:27:46,921 The names will be dimly familiar from news reports. 436 00:27:46,922 --> 00:27:49,882 That is a Ridgeback, that is a Mastiff, 437 00:27:49,883 --> 00:27:53,632 then you have a Foxhound, the pale-coloured one is a Husky, 438 00:27:53,633 --> 00:27:57,241 and that weird-looking thing with the tracks on over there, that is a Warthog. 439 00:27:57,242 --> 00:28:00,991 Don't expect cute and cuddly names like Panda or Fiesta - 440 00:28:00,992 --> 00:28:05,351 everything here is named after a dog, except the Warthog, 441 00:28:05,352 --> 00:28:07,571 which is named after a warthog. 442 00:28:09,472 --> 00:28:13,271 'To keep the wheels turning, the Army has built this enormous workshop, 443 00:28:13,272 --> 00:28:16,391 'which, at full strength, carries £60 million worth 444 00:28:16,392 --> 00:28:20,625 'of spares and employs 150 mechanics. 445 00:28:24,532 --> 00:28:27,281 'Bastion even has its own purpose-built 446 00:28:27,282 --> 00:28:31,936 'driver training ground, approved by a squad of driving instructors.' 447 00:28:33,912 --> 00:28:37,961 The sheer size of this operation is truly impressive, 448 00:28:37,962 --> 00:28:42,551 but equally fascinating is what the Afghanistan campaign has done 449 00:28:42,552 --> 00:28:44,702 to Britain's military vehicles. 450 00:28:46,883 --> 00:28:50,351 'It has brought about the biggest change in a generation. 451 00:28:50,352 --> 00:28:53,711 'When the British first arrived here, their staple patrol vehicle, 452 00:28:53,712 --> 00:28:57,791 'the Snatch Land Rover, offered woeful protection against IEDs. 453 00:28:57,792 --> 00:29:04,164 'In 2009 alone, 79 soldiers fell victim to such devices.' 454 00:29:10,712 --> 00:29:13,921 'The 29-tonne American-made Mastiff offered a quick fix, 455 00:29:13,922 --> 00:29:15,961 'but in Leamington Spa, 456 00:29:15,962 --> 00:29:19,728 'a small British firm devised a more 21st-century solution.' 457 00:29:26,332 --> 00:29:29,642 This is a Foxhound and it's very clever, 458 00:29:29,643 --> 00:29:31,721 because it's actually made out of armour. 459 00:29:31,722 --> 00:29:34,642 It's not a normal vehicle to which armour plate has been added. 460 00:29:34,643 --> 00:29:37,055 It's sort of armour monoblock, if you like. 461 00:29:39,272 --> 00:29:43,762 'The Foxhound also has a V-shaped hull to deflect mine blasts 462 00:29:43,763 --> 00:29:47,271 'and thanks to its state-of-the-art armour, it weighs 463 00:29:47,272 --> 00:29:49,431 'just seven and a half tonnes, 464 00:29:49,432 --> 00:29:51,924 'which makes it a featherweight around these parts.' 465 00:29:54,912 --> 00:29:58,530 To drive, is pretty much like an off-road car. 466 00:30:00,523 --> 00:30:03,299 It's a positive mountain goat, this thing. 467 00:30:04,352 --> 00:30:07,361 'Now, history will record that government bureaucrats 468 00:30:07,362 --> 00:30:09,961 'dragged their heels over the military vehicle crisis 469 00:30:09,962 --> 00:30:11,331 'in Afghanistan, 470 00:30:11,332 --> 00:30:14,971 'but the boffins who developed the Foxhound certainly didn't.' 471 00:30:14,972 --> 00:30:18,121 This machine was designed, engineered, tested, proved 472 00:30:18,122 --> 00:30:22,632 and got on the ground in large numbers in just over three years. 473 00:30:22,633 --> 00:30:26,854 Try doing that with a small hatchback or something. 474 00:30:30,852 --> 00:30:32,854 'Alongside the Foxhound... 475 00:30:35,692 --> 00:30:37,081 '..the military drew on a policy 476 00:30:37,082 --> 00:30:40,281 'called Urgent Operational Requirement or UOR, 477 00:30:40,282 --> 00:30:43,051 'which saw them combine operational demands 478 00:30:43,052 --> 00:30:46,579 'and the best vehicle-related suggestions from soldiers on the ground.' 479 00:30:49,602 --> 00:30:53,015 Here's a very simple example of UOR - this is a Mastiff. 480 00:30:55,072 --> 00:30:57,051 It's got cameras mounted on the sides. 481 00:30:57,052 --> 00:30:59,871 Commander Buzz here can look at the pictures on his screen. 482 00:30:59,872 --> 00:31:02,351 On the early ones, they were originally mounted. 483 00:31:02,352 --> 00:31:05,011 When you went through things like villages, they got smashed. 484 00:31:05,012 --> 00:31:07,431 So somebody said, "Why not put them on a hinge?" 485 00:31:07,432 --> 00:31:08,934 So they did. 486 00:31:12,763 --> 00:31:16,071 'Soldiers also needed their vehicles to be more stealthy in the dark. 487 00:31:16,072 --> 00:31:18,642 'So a night-vision system was developed 488 00:31:18,643 --> 00:31:21,801 'that would allow them to switch off their headlights.' 489 00:31:21,802 --> 00:31:25,321 I'm now driving the Mastiff completely blacked out 490 00:31:25,322 --> 00:31:29,041 but using the night-vision system suspended in front of my face. 491 00:31:29,042 --> 00:31:31,481 And this is quite amazing. 492 00:31:31,482 --> 00:31:35,715 This is actually my eyes. I can't see a single thing through the windscreen. 493 00:31:38,002 --> 00:31:40,161 'These lamps on the outside are infrared 494 00:31:40,162 --> 00:31:42,151 'and illuminate the surrounding area. 495 00:31:42,152 --> 00:31:44,281 'Our camera can see the light they emit, 496 00:31:44,282 --> 00:31:47,041 'but it's invisible to the naked eye.' 497 00:31:47,042 --> 00:31:51,791 We ought to point out that normally, we wouldn't even have these red interior lights on. 498 00:31:51,792 --> 00:31:54,361 Those are there so our cameras are working properly. 499 00:31:54,362 --> 00:31:56,361 But actually, you could drive this... 500 00:31:56,362 --> 00:32:00,131 we could be completely black in here, couldn't we? Yeah, complete blackout, yeah. 501 00:32:00,132 --> 00:32:01,772 Right, so I've missed those... 502 00:32:01,773 --> 00:32:03,971 what are those, are they rocks or are they...? 503 00:32:03,972 --> 00:32:06,441 Yeah, they're just in front of you. 504 00:32:06,442 --> 00:32:07,971 Straightening up, sir. 505 00:32:07,972 --> 00:32:10,512 See that compound ahead of us? Yeah. 506 00:32:10,513 --> 00:32:12,681 You want to be going round to the left of that. 507 00:32:12,682 --> 00:32:14,711 I can see that as clear as day. 508 00:32:14,712 --> 00:32:18,361 It's a good piece of kit, isn't it? It's brilliant, isn't it? 509 00:32:18,362 --> 00:32:21,561 'Now, on a machine is heavily armoured is a Mastiff, 510 00:32:21,562 --> 00:32:24,921 'the protection against roadside bombs is good. 511 00:32:24,922 --> 00:32:28,301 'But Afghanistan threw up another issue that needed sorting.' 512 00:32:29,492 --> 00:32:33,895 What if the vehicle is blown over? How do you train for that? 513 00:32:36,272 --> 00:32:39,841 Well, what you do is you build one of these. 514 00:32:39,842 --> 00:32:44,522 It's a RODET - Roll Over Drills Egress Trainer. 515 00:32:44,523 --> 00:32:46,401 Oh! 516 00:32:46,402 --> 00:32:48,245 And I think we're upside down. 517 00:32:52,763 --> 00:32:57,361 'All these improvements have had a dramatic effect on military motoring out here.' 518 00:32:57,362 --> 00:33:01,151 Since the new generation of PMVs was introduced - 519 00:33:01,152 --> 00:33:04,522 that's protective military vehicles... the Mastiff, 520 00:33:04,523 --> 00:33:06,762 the Foxhound, the Husky, 521 00:33:06,763 --> 00:33:08,951 the Warthog, all those things - 522 00:33:08,952 --> 00:33:14,091 there have been over 1,000 survivors of IED strikes on vehicles. 523 00:33:14,092 --> 00:33:19,131 And a senior British officer admitted to me the other day that, 524 00:33:19,132 --> 00:33:21,601 in the old days, when we had the soft-skinned vehicles - 525 00:33:21,602 --> 00:33:23,921 the Snatch Land Rover and so on - 526 00:33:23,922 --> 00:33:27,825 that might have been more like three casualties per vehicle. 527 00:33:34,282 --> 00:33:36,491 'With our troops now coming home, 528 00:33:36,492 --> 00:33:39,411 'this stuff is too valuable to leave behind. 529 00:33:39,412 --> 00:33:43,051 'So a massive operation is under way to bring it back to Britain. 530 00:33:43,052 --> 00:33:47,001 'At forward bases like this one, all the vehicles and spares 531 00:33:47,002 --> 00:33:50,281 'are being gathered up for the drive back to Bastion. 532 00:33:50,282 --> 00:33:53,512 'Which meant that, in the middle of the night, 533 00:33:53,513 --> 00:33:56,491 'I found myself in a convoy of returning vehicles 534 00:33:56,492 --> 00:33:58,841 'in full Ross Kemp mode.' 535 00:33:58,842 --> 00:34:02,241 We're in a Mastiff. We're in a convoy of 31 vehicles. 536 00:34:02,242 --> 00:34:06,361 These legs belong to Sue, who's up the top on the gun, keeping lookout. 537 00:34:06,362 --> 00:34:10,151 Hello. Morning. Morning, ma'am. ls there room for two of us up there? 538 00:34:10,152 --> 00:34:15,201 We can give it a go. Right, I'll move this way a bit. There we go. Ow. 539 00:34:15,202 --> 00:34:19,344 I don't think we're going to fit on. I've pulled something off. 540 00:34:24,242 --> 00:34:26,665 I'm not fat. 541 00:34:28,692 --> 00:34:32,281 What's to stop somebody... Cos we can't really see very much out there. 542 00:34:32,282 --> 00:34:35,522 What's to stop somebody out there just taking a shot at you? 543 00:34:35,523 --> 00:34:39,762 Absolutely nothing at the moment. So they're out there somewhere. 544 00:34:39,763 --> 00:34:42,711 They are. There're not that far away. 545 00:34:42,712 --> 00:34:46,921 When was the last time a roadside bomb went off on this bit, do you know? 546 00:34:46,922 --> 00:34:51,473 Very... Very recent. Very recent? Very recent. 547 00:34:57,523 --> 00:35:00,571 'Daylight found us still in one piece, 548 00:35:00,572 --> 00:35:02,961 'and back within the walls of Bastion, 549 00:35:02,962 --> 00:35:05,591 'the packing-up process could begin. 550 00:35:05,592 --> 00:35:07,881 'Alongside a strip-down service, 551 00:35:07,882 --> 00:35:12,241 'each vehicle gets a 24-hour-long jet wash. 552 00:35:12,242 --> 00:35:14,681 'Biological decontamination. 553 00:35:14,682 --> 00:35:18,931 'And, at the very end, its own passport.' 554 00:35:18,932 --> 00:35:20,881 And look at the size of it. 555 00:35:20,882 --> 00:35:26,011 All these pages, all these signatures, everything signed off. 556 00:35:26,012 --> 00:35:29,681 Every single vehicle and piece of equipment has one of those. 557 00:35:29,682 --> 00:35:32,762 And there are over 3,500 of them. 558 00:35:32,763 --> 00:35:36,222 So don't complain next time you have to tax and MOT your car. 559 00:35:41,962 --> 00:35:46,616 'For some poor souls, the new machinery came too late. 560 00:35:49,132 --> 00:35:53,433 'But the military has responded to the brutality of this conflict.' 561 00:36:02,082 --> 00:36:04,762 'And the vehicles we're bringing home from Afghanistan 562 00:36:04,763 --> 00:36:07,539 'are much better than the ones we went out with.' 563 00:36:33,082 --> 00:36:35,721 And there it is. 564 00:36:35,722 --> 00:36:38,131 The big military Foxhound. 565 00:36:38,132 --> 00:36:42,731 Or, since the Army loves an acronym, the big MF. 566 00:36:42,732 --> 00:36:47,441 Anyway, it's now time to put an S in our RPC. 567 00:36:47,442 --> 00:36:51,361 Britain has produced many great Toms over the years - 568 00:36:51,362 --> 00:36:54,421 Daley, Jones and, of course, Mas the Tank Engine. 569 00:36:54,422 --> 00:36:58,491 But, tonight, our Tom is the newest of them all. 570 00:36:58,492 --> 00:37:01,601 He's from Thor and Avengers Assemble and War Horse. 571 00:37:01,602 --> 00:37:04,310 Ladies and gentlemen, Tom Hiddleston. 572 00:37:09,132 --> 00:37:12,441 How are you? Very well, thank you. 573 00:37:12,442 --> 00:37:15,881 Look! Thank you. Thank you. 574 00:37:15,882 --> 00:37:17,623 Have a seat. Thank you. 575 00:37:20,802 --> 00:37:25,532 I was half expecting you to ask the audience to kneel before you. 576 00:37:25,533 --> 00:37:27,681 Not here. I haven't got my horns with me. 577 00:37:27,682 --> 00:37:30,611 So let's get on to your car history if I may. Yes, sure. 578 00:37:30,612 --> 00:37:35,174 Your first car, then, what was it? It was a Peugeot 106. Mmm(!) 579 00:37:37,142 --> 00:37:42,652 Yeah. It was quite adventurous. Mmm(!) 1.1. Wow(!) 580 00:37:42,653 --> 00:37:47,851 Really phwoar - when you floored it, you felt it. It was a 1.1 what? 581 00:37:47,852 --> 00:37:50,913 They always had silly names. Zest. Yeah, there you go. 582 00:37:52,732 --> 00:37:56,782 Sounds like a washing powder. It sounds like lemon juice. It does. 583 00:37:56,783 --> 00:38:01,141 I bought it with my first pay check for some TV work that I got 584 00:38:01,142 --> 00:38:05,171 while I was at university. And I kept that for ten years. Ten years?! 585 00:38:05,172 --> 00:38:07,751 Ten whole years. All the way through my 20s, yeah. 586 00:38:07,752 --> 00:38:09,971 But I presume that, obviously, 587 00:38:09,972 --> 00:38:13,891 now, as result of you being Loki in the Thor franchise... Indeed, yes. 588 00:38:13,892 --> 00:38:17,371 there's no need now to drive around in cars with zesty names? 589 00:38:17,372 --> 00:38:20,971 Well, I'm very fortunate to drive a Jaguar. 590 00:38:20,972 --> 00:38:22,861 And as you probably know, 591 00:38:22,862 --> 00:38:26,321 I'm part of a campaign that they have recently done. And they are... 592 00:38:26,322 --> 00:38:30,001 Weirdly, Jaguar's been part of my life for the last couple of years, 593 00:38:30,002 --> 00:38:32,571 cos I keep playing characters in films who drive Jaguars. 594 00:38:32,572 --> 00:38:33,951 What, does Loki drive a jag? 595 00:38:33,952 --> 00:38:37,561 I think Loki drives a spaceship. 596 00:38:37,562 --> 00:38:40,591 Yes, he does. Is it a jag spaceship? It is a jag, I'm sure. 597 00:38:40,592 --> 00:38:42,601 Goes to the petrol station and goes, 598 00:38:42,602 --> 00:38:45,851 "Oh, dear, my dear, I seem to have left my wallet at home. 599 00:38:45,852 --> 00:38:48,761 "This is embarrassing." I'm sure he would approve. 600 00:38:48,762 --> 00:38:50,731 Caddish spaceship. Yup. 601 00:38:50,732 --> 00:38:53,691 No, this jag commercial, actually, I don't know if anybody's seen it, 602 00:38:53,692 --> 00:38:55,581 but have a look at this. 603 00:38:55,582 --> 00:38:58,091 Have you ever noticed, how, in Hollywood movies, 604 00:38:58,092 --> 00:38:59,931 all the villains are played by Brits? 605 00:38:59,932 --> 00:39:01,241 Maybe we just sound right. 606 00:39:01,242 --> 00:39:03,313 Good evening, sir. Thank you, Mary. 607 00:39:06,452 --> 00:39:08,291 We're more focused. 608 00:39:08,292 --> 00:39:10,402 More precise. 609 00:39:10,403 --> 00:39:12,402 We're always one step ahead. 610 00:39:12,403 --> 00:39:15,623 With a certain style, an eye for detail. 611 00:39:16,922 --> 00:39:19,584 And we're obsessed by power! 612 00:39:28,162 --> 00:39:31,361 A stiff upper lip is key. 613 00:39:31,362 --> 00:39:33,561 And we all drive Jaguars. 614 00:39:33,562 --> 00:39:36,736 Oh, yes. It's good to be bad. 615 00:39:42,932 --> 00:39:46,532 I have to say, the line I like most in that is Mark Strong's, 616 00:39:46,533 --> 00:39:49,291 cos he goes, "And we all drive Jaguars." 617 00:39:49,292 --> 00:39:53,422 What it should be is, "We all drive Jaguars... now." Right! 618 00:39:55,052 --> 00:39:58,091 "As a result of this." Yeah. Or, indeed, a helicopter. 619 00:39:58,092 --> 00:40:00,891 Was that really filmed in London? It was all filmed in London. 620 00:40:00,892 --> 00:40:03,381 It was one of the most extraordinary evenings of my life. 621 00:40:03,382 --> 00:40:07,301 I... We were allowed to go over central London about 500 feet. 622 00:40:07,302 --> 00:40:10,051 And the door of the helicopter was open. 623 00:40:10,052 --> 00:40:13,761 And Tom Hooper, who directed it, was sitting behind the camera. 624 00:40:13,762 --> 00:40:17,931 And we were up, banking right, and I was leaning out the window, 625 00:40:17,932 --> 00:40:21,681 and a certain point, he said, "I'm afraid we have to cut, we have to change..." 626 00:40:21,682 --> 00:40:24,662 "OK, good, that's completely fine." "Cut." 627 00:40:24,663 --> 00:40:28,581 Argh! It's really high! You know what I mean? 628 00:40:28,582 --> 00:40:31,402 When the cameras rolling, I was like, "I've got this - 629 00:40:31,403 --> 00:40:34,652 "more focused, more precise." And as soon as it was cut, I was like... 630 00:40:34,653 --> 00:40:37,731 "Oh, God, the window's open! Someone shut the door!" 631 00:40:37,732 --> 00:40:41,211 It is a good point, though. It's a very good business, isn't it, that is raised 632 00:40:41,212 --> 00:40:44,581 in that commercial about the number of vets who are baddies. 633 00:40:44,582 --> 00:40:46,581 Rickman and then Hopkins and you... 634 00:40:46,582 --> 00:40:48,331 Alan Rickman, Anthony Hopkins... 635 00:40:48,332 --> 00:40:50,532 I guess it started with James Mason back in the day. 636 00:40:50,533 --> 00:40:53,331 God, I thought you were going to see James May! 637 00:40:53,332 --> 00:40:55,961 The world's longest and most boring film. 638 00:40:55,962 --> 00:40:58,481 The undiscovered British villain. 639 00:40:58,482 --> 00:40:59,601 Yes. 640 00:40:59,602 --> 00:41:03,111 But what is it, do you think, that the Brits bring to a Hollywood movie? 641 00:41:03,112 --> 00:41:05,441 I genuinely think it's because Americans think 642 00:41:05,442 --> 00:41:06,898 we're inherently distrustful. 643 00:41:08,752 --> 00:41:11,824 They think, "Oh, my God, your accent! You're so sneaky!" 644 00:41:13,572 --> 00:41:16,771 Or something. It's illusion, of course. 645 00:41:16,772 --> 00:41:19,891 They like seeing us fail, I think that's what it is. That's it. 646 00:41:19,892 --> 00:41:23,961 Cos you have to fail if you're the baddie. That's probably what it is. 647 00:41:23,962 --> 00:41:28,532 Now, your career began, I believe, at Slough Comprehensive. 648 00:41:28,533 --> 00:41:31,221 It certainly did, yup. As the front leg of an elephant? 649 00:41:31,222 --> 00:41:36,041 I was the front leg of an elephant carrying Eddie Redmayne. 650 00:41:36,042 --> 00:41:39,091 He was grand enough to be the passenger of the elephant. Really? Yeah. 651 00:41:39,092 --> 00:41:42,011 I was the arse of a donkey once. 652 00:41:42,012 --> 00:41:44,891 And I ended up here as a result of that. And then you did the obligatory... 653 00:41:44,892 --> 00:41:48,237 The greatest arse of a donkey... in the world. 654 00:41:51,772 --> 00:41:57,131 That was very good! Sorry, couldn't help it. No, that was... 655 00:41:57,132 --> 00:42:00,091 Somebody said that you were a good mimic. Is that something...? 656 00:42:00,092 --> 00:42:03,681 It's something I've done. I've done it my whole life. 657 00:42:03,682 --> 00:42:06,881 I remember, when I was a child, they used to have a double tape deck, 658 00:42:06,882 --> 00:42:10,291 and I would record my own radio show, with all the different voices. 659 00:42:10,292 --> 00:42:14,532 They were basically voices of people I'd heard of the telly, you know. 660 00:42:14,533 --> 00:42:19,611 Phillip Schofield's and... Could you still do Phillip Schofield? 661 00:42:19,612 --> 00:42:22,301 I don't know. I don't even know if... Actually, don't bother. 662 00:42:22,302 --> 00:42:26,291 I wouldn't know what he sounded like. Throw me another one. Anthony Hopkins. 663 00:42:26,292 --> 00:42:27,941 HE MIMICS: Oh, Tony Hopkins... Yeah. 664 00:42:27,942 --> 00:42:29,691 Have you had him on the show? Top Gear. 665 00:42:29,692 --> 00:42:32,652 Yes, I'd love to be on the show. I'd like to drive fast around a track. 666 00:42:32,653 --> 00:42:36,305 Being taught to drive by The Stig, great man, great man, I'd love to do that. 667 00:42:39,812 --> 00:42:42,331 Let's think of some more names. 668 00:42:42,332 --> 00:42:44,532 Anyone got any more names we can fire? 669 00:42:44,533 --> 00:42:46,931 Try to make them men, cos that's probably easier. Yeah. 670 00:42:46,932 --> 00:42:49,121 What? Arnold Schwarzenegger? 671 00:42:49,122 --> 00:42:51,601 Arnold Schwarzenegger. What was that? 672 00:42:51,602 --> 00:42:54,594 Paul O'Grady. I think I'll go for Schwarzenegger. 673 00:42:56,302 --> 00:42:58,091 I'm trying to think of something he says. 674 00:42:58,092 --> 00:43:00,675 HE MIMICS: I know now why you cry. 675 00:43:02,892 --> 00:43:05,611 That sounded a little bit like Peter O'Toole. Sorry about that. 676 00:43:05,612 --> 00:43:09,291 HE MIMICS O'TOOLE: I know now you cry. 677 00:43:09,292 --> 00:43:12,131 That is quite a skill. Yeah. And what are you doing now? 678 00:43:12,132 --> 00:43:13,821 Anything exciting? 679 00:43:13,822 --> 00:43:16,931 I'm just finishing a run of Coriolanus in the West End, 680 00:43:16,932 --> 00:43:18,652 which I've enjoyed hugely. 681 00:43:18,653 --> 00:43:22,532 And I'm about to go to Toronto to make a horror film 682 00:43:22,533 --> 00:43:25,931 with Guillermo del Toro... If you know him, 683 00:43:25,932 --> 00:43:28,301 the Mexican director who directed Pan's Labyrinth. 684 00:43:28,302 --> 00:43:31,311 Who did one with Tilda Swinton as well just recently? That's correct. 685 00:43:31,312 --> 00:43:34,251 There's a film called Only Lovers Left Alive, which is coming out 686 00:43:34,252 --> 00:43:38,652 in the UK, I think, on the 21st of February, and it's basically a love story. 687 00:43:38,653 --> 00:43:42,652 Tilda and I play a couple who are vampires, so... 688 00:43:42,653 --> 00:43:47,011 Oh, it's about a vampire film? It's a vampire film, but were vegetarians, we don't bite. 689 00:43:47,012 --> 00:43:50,171 Vegetarian vampires. Vegetarian vampires. This I need to see. 690 00:43:50,172 --> 00:43:54,171 We're much too classy for all that 15th-century nonsense. 691 00:43:54,172 --> 00:43:57,171 Now, I'm conscious of the time, cos I know that you are appearing 692 00:43:57,172 --> 00:44:00,412 on stage this evening... Mm-hm... ..in Coriolanus. In Coriolanus, yes. 693 00:44:00,413 --> 00:44:02,331 Which calls for you at the end, I understand, 694 00:44:02,332 --> 00:44:05,051 to be strung upside down, bleeding profusely. 695 00:44:05,052 --> 00:44:07,451 That's how it goes down, yeah. 696 00:44:07,452 --> 00:44:09,601 Spoiler! Yeah. 697 00:44:09,602 --> 00:44:13,652 It is a 450-year-old text, so I think it's OK. 698 00:44:13,653 --> 00:44:16,331 Did it occur to you when you were driving around the track, 699 00:44:16,332 --> 00:44:19,451 if you had an accident, you could save the make-up? 700 00:44:19,452 --> 00:44:22,741 If I just roll the car, crash it... You could turn up... 701 00:44:22,742 --> 00:44:28,251 And say, "I have my 27 wounds upon me." 27 wounds, blood gushing... 702 00:44:28,252 --> 00:44:32,971 So, did you crash? I didn't trash, per se. 703 00:44:32,972 --> 00:44:36,561 Because, well, shall we have a look? Let's have a look. I'm very nervous. 704 00:44:36,562 --> 00:44:39,381 It was very wet out there. Who would like to see the lap? 705 00:44:39,382 --> 00:44:41,131 AUDIENCE: Yes! 706 00:44:41,132 --> 00:44:42,761 Let's have a look. Play the tape. 707 00:44:42,762 --> 00:44:45,412 Three, two, one... 708 00:44:45,413 --> 00:44:47,761 Oh, I've stalled the BLEEP! 709 00:44:47,762 --> 00:44:49,070 No way! 710 00:44:53,252 --> 00:44:57,391 Oh, the shame! Yeah, you've got double first from Cambridge, have you not? 711 00:44:57,392 --> 00:45:01,532 In Classics? I did. I did. But you can't set off in a Vauxhall Astra? 712 00:45:01,533 --> 00:45:05,171 Oh, dear. Anyway, let's see the finished product, shall we? 713 00:45:05,172 --> 00:45:07,709 When you actually set off. Right. Here we go. 714 00:45:09,922 --> 00:45:13,121 Ooh, that's a lot of clutch. 715 00:45:13,122 --> 00:45:17,548 Come on. Come on! BLEEP. Come on! 716 00:45:19,042 --> 00:45:21,397 God Almighty, that's wet. 717 00:45:25,212 --> 00:45:27,078 Doing well, though. 718 00:45:29,673 --> 00:45:33,491 Go, go, go. Go, go, go, take the bend hard, take the bend hard. 719 00:45:33,492 --> 00:45:35,101 Use the track. 720 00:45:35,102 --> 00:45:37,451 Yeah, use the track. Better. 721 00:45:37,452 --> 00:45:40,171 God, you've actually got that thing sliding. 722 00:45:40,172 --> 00:45:44,021 Normally, it's got very good grip. Yeah, it was very puddly out there. 723 00:45:44,022 --> 00:45:47,491 ♪ I'm for ever driving in puddles. ♪ 724 00:45:47,492 --> 00:45:50,561 Right, could you see the lines at the Hammerhead? 725 00:45:50,562 --> 00:45:54,021 Yeah, just about, cos it was very tight. Very difficult. Yeah. 726 00:45:54,022 --> 00:45:56,691 Hugh Bonneville was here last week. 727 00:45:56,692 --> 00:45:59,811 He said he couldn't see the lines cos it was so wet. 728 00:45:59,812 --> 00:46:03,715 It's weird in England... Yeah. ..to have two wet days(!) 729 00:46:04,772 --> 00:46:06,741 Floor it. 730 00:46:06,742 --> 00:46:08,292 You're not doing it flat. 731 00:46:08,293 --> 00:46:09,751 Come on! 732 00:46:09,752 --> 00:46:12,981 You are! No, you're not. 733 00:46:12,982 --> 00:46:16,261 I was going to say, that's ballsy on a day like today. 734 00:46:16,262 --> 00:46:18,021 Stupid but ballsy. 735 00:46:18,022 --> 00:46:23,101 Right. Ooh, the tail coming out. You are very committed to this. 736 00:46:23,102 --> 00:46:27,891 There you go. Second to last corner. That's very nicely done. Gambon. 737 00:46:27,892 --> 00:46:31,381 A bit safe, a bit safe? No, I disagree. 738 00:46:31,382 --> 00:46:35,148 There we are, across the line. 739 00:46:39,572 --> 00:46:43,611 Now, we've only ever had one wet lap, which was last week - Hugh Bonneville. 740 00:46:43,612 --> 00:46:46,121 So where do you think you've come, bearing that in mind? 741 00:46:46,122 --> 00:46:49,261 Oh, I'm a bit worried I haven't beaten Hugh. 742 00:46:49,262 --> 00:46:52,131 It'd be nice to be somewhere around that, that area. 743 00:46:52,132 --> 00:46:54,282 Right, somewhere around that... 744 00:46:54,283 --> 00:46:56,841 There's Ron Howard. He directed Rush. He did. 745 00:46:56,842 --> 00:46:58,841 Ron Howard - that was dry. 746 00:46:58,842 --> 00:47:00,971 He was just basically hopeless. 747 00:47:00,972 --> 00:47:03,402 Hugh was 1.50.1. 748 00:47:03,403 --> 00:47:06,731 OK. And you, Tom Hiddleston, 749 00:47:06,732 --> 00:47:07,921 1... 750 00:47:07,922 --> 00:47:10,402 Which is good. That's good? OK. 751 00:47:11,852 --> 00:47:13,479 40... 752 00:47:15,102 --> 00:47:16,797 but only just. 753 00:47:18,212 --> 00:47:19,851 9.9. 754 00:47:19,852 --> 00:47:21,731 Oh! There we go. 755 00:47:21,732 --> 00:47:23,655 Well... 756 00:47:26,972 --> 00:47:29,412 All right. Thank you. 757 00:47:29,413 --> 00:47:31,101 In the wet? 758 00:47:31,102 --> 00:47:32,651 Very wet. 759 00:47:32,652 --> 00:47:35,831 Thank you! I got a V. Special very wet. 760 00:47:35,832 --> 00:47:38,412 Well, I must let you go, which is a shame 761 00:47:38,413 --> 00:47:40,781 because I'm much enjoying all of this. 762 00:47:40,782 --> 00:47:43,638 Ladies and gentlemen, Tom Hiddleston! Thank you. 763 00:47:49,822 --> 00:47:51,483 Now... 764 00:47:52,622 --> 00:47:59,811 this is the brand-new £866,000 McLaren P1, 765 00:47:59,812 --> 00:48:03,381 probably the most advanced and jaw-dropping car 766 00:48:03,382 --> 00:48:05,451 the world has ever seen. 767 00:48:05,452 --> 00:48:09,091 Hmm. The attention to detail in this thing boggles the mind. 768 00:48:09,092 --> 00:48:11,981 It is... It's almost science fiction. 769 00:48:11,982 --> 00:48:15,011 And so, there was only one place on Earth 770 00:48:15,012 --> 00:48:17,422 where I could test it properly. 771 00:48:17,423 --> 00:48:19,505 Belgium. 772 00:48:32,413 --> 00:48:35,235 This is Bruges. 773 00:48:38,262 --> 00:48:42,771 It's a quiet, friendly, cobbled sort of place. 774 00:48:42,772 --> 00:48:45,621 And it's just a stone's throw from Brussels, 775 00:48:45,622 --> 00:48:48,971 home to all the environmental EU law-makers. 776 00:48:48,972 --> 00:48:52,741 All of which makes it an ideal starting point 777 00:48:52,742 --> 00:48:55,723 for my test of the new McLaren. 778 00:48:59,902 --> 00:49:05,611 Because behind the front seats there are 324 laptop-style batteries 779 00:49:05,612 --> 00:49:11,153 which power a silent, polar-bear-friendly electric motor. 780 00:49:13,102 --> 00:49:17,111 This means that even the most frizzy-haired sandal enthusiast 781 00:49:17,112 --> 00:49:20,061 would welcome this car into their city centre. 782 00:49:20,062 --> 00:49:24,061 It's like that other two-seater electric car, the G-Wiz. 783 00:49:24,062 --> 00:49:27,509 It's Al Gore with a windscreen wiper. 784 00:49:30,342 --> 00:49:35,234 Do not think, however, that it has the get-up-and-go of Jabba the Hutt. 785 00:49:36,692 --> 00:49:39,292 Because the electric motor in this 786 00:49:39,293 --> 00:49:43,491 produces a whopping 176 horsepower. 787 00:49:43,492 --> 00:49:47,771 That's about what you get from a Volkswagen GTI. 788 00:49:47,772 --> 00:49:49,718 So it's pretty nippy. 789 00:49:54,692 --> 00:49:58,331 The only problem is, that after just six miles, 790 00:49:58,332 --> 00:50:00,661 the batteries will be flat. 791 00:50:00,662 --> 00:50:03,371 So you'll need to plug your car into the mains 792 00:50:03,372 --> 00:50:06,931 and sit about eating a chocolate shoe for two hours 793 00:50:06,932 --> 00:50:09,310 until they're charged up again. 794 00:50:12,612 --> 00:50:14,851 Or if this doesn't appeal, 795 00:50:14,852 --> 00:50:17,025 there is an alternative. 796 00:50:18,652 --> 00:50:22,331 Because, you see, the P1 is fitted as standard 797 00:50:22,332 --> 00:50:26,051 with an on board petrol-powered generator. 798 00:50:26,052 --> 00:50:28,191 And it is quite a big one. 799 00:50:28,192 --> 00:50:32,831 In fact, it's a 3.8-litre twin-turbocharged 800 00:50:32,832 --> 00:50:36,422 722-horsepower V8. 801 00:50:36,423 --> 00:50:38,861 We push this button... 802 00:50:38,862 --> 00:50:41,341 There it is, firing up. 803 00:50:41,342 --> 00:50:43,501 And the great thing is, 804 00:50:43,502 --> 00:50:45,981 it's not just charging the batteries. 805 00:50:45,982 --> 00:50:49,491 It's also working alongside the electric motor 806 00:50:49,492 --> 00:50:51,392 to power the wheels. 807 00:50:53,622 --> 00:50:58,331 So the P1, then, is not like a G-Wiz at all, in any way. 808 00:50:58,332 --> 00:51:00,641 Thanks to that generator, 809 00:51:00,642 --> 00:51:03,781 you can take this out of a city centre 810 00:51:03,782 --> 00:51:05,876 and onto the open road. 811 00:51:15,732 --> 00:51:18,963 And that's another reason I've come to Belgium. 812 00:51:20,062 --> 00:51:23,430 Because there are so many roads to choose from. 813 00:51:24,822 --> 00:51:27,261 Belgium has three times as many roads 814 00:51:27,262 --> 00:51:30,211 and 50% more cars per square mile 815 00:51:30,212 --> 00:51:32,901 than we do in Britain. 816 00:51:32,902 --> 00:51:36,341 And the stats from this remarkable country 817 00:51:36,342 --> 00:51:38,276 just keep on coming. 818 00:51:39,262 --> 00:51:42,271 There are so many miles of street-lit motorway here 819 00:51:42,272 --> 00:51:46,231 that Belgium is officially the brightest country on Earth. 820 00:51:47,732 --> 00:51:50,821 It's a little-known fact that Buzz Aldrin's first words 821 00:51:50,822 --> 00:51:53,011 when he set foot on the moon were, 822 00:51:53,012 --> 00:51:55,788 "Good God! You can see Belgium from up here!" 823 00:51:57,212 --> 00:51:59,237 I made that up. 824 00:52:06,222 --> 00:52:08,839 On the road I chose, there was rain. 825 00:52:11,062 --> 00:52:12,723 There was sunshine. 826 00:52:14,293 --> 00:52:16,491 There were clear stretches. 827 00:52:16,492 --> 00:52:18,971 And there were traffic jams. 828 00:52:18,972 --> 00:52:23,671 And the McLaren was quiet and comfortable through it all. 829 00:52:26,702 --> 00:52:30,024 But it was not what you'd call luxurious. 830 00:52:31,782 --> 00:52:36,242 It is, frankly, as well equipped as a pair of monk's underpants. 831 00:52:41,932 --> 00:52:45,621 And that's because, like the Alfa we saw earlier, 832 00:52:45,622 --> 00:52:49,445 this car was designed to be as fat as Iggy Pop. 833 00:52:51,192 --> 00:52:54,446 Inside, there's no glove box and no carpets. 834 00:52:56,092 --> 00:52:58,861 The glass is just 3.5mm thick, 835 00:52:58,862 --> 00:53:02,581 1.5mm thinner than the glass in normal cars, 836 00:53:02,582 --> 00:53:05,211 except in the back windows... 837 00:53:05,212 --> 00:53:07,811 where there's no glass at all. 838 00:53:07,812 --> 00:53:10,981 No lacquer is added to carbon-fibre trim 839 00:53:10,982 --> 00:53:13,542 to save 1.5kg. 840 00:53:13,543 --> 00:53:17,389 The whole chassis weighs less than James May. 841 00:53:18,692 --> 00:53:20,861 The trimmings are titanium, 842 00:53:20,862 --> 00:53:23,781 and the body is made from just five panels, 843 00:53:23,782 --> 00:53:27,061 which means less glue and fewer bolts are needed 844 00:53:27,062 --> 00:53:30,071 to hold it all together. 845 00:53:30,072 --> 00:53:34,061 All of this means that, despite the bank of batteries 846 00:53:34,062 --> 00:53:36,371 and the fact it has two engines, 847 00:53:36,372 --> 00:53:39,717 this car weighs less than a Vauxhall Astra. 848 00:53:41,702 --> 00:53:44,451 That, of course, makes it economical. 849 00:53:44,452 --> 00:53:46,271 And fast. 850 00:53:46,272 --> 00:53:47,876 Really fast. 851 00:53:48,992 --> 00:53:50,881 Mind-blowingly fast. 852 00:54:05,423 --> 00:54:07,437 Oh, my God! 853 00:54:09,342 --> 00:54:12,164 Ohhh! 854 00:54:15,732 --> 00:54:19,091 The speed, in fact, is the main reason 855 00:54:19,092 --> 00:54:21,261 I brought this car to Belgium. 856 00:54:21,262 --> 00:54:24,755 Because Belgium is home to this place. 857 00:54:28,553 --> 00:54:33,923 Spa - the longest, wildest racetrack on the F1 calendar. 858 00:54:37,543 --> 00:54:40,956 How can they make something go this fast?! 859 00:54:43,862 --> 00:54:47,581 OK. OK, let me just slow it down while I explain 860 00:54:47,582 --> 00:54:49,701 what's going on here. 861 00:54:49,702 --> 00:54:52,811 The electric motor and the big V8 generator 862 00:54:52,812 --> 00:54:54,901 are working together 863 00:54:54,902 --> 00:54:57,221 so that I have at my disposal 864 00:54:57,222 --> 00:55:00,476 903 brake horsepower. 865 00:55:03,582 --> 00:55:06,244 Ohh! 866 00:55:08,352 --> 00:55:11,071 Obviously, I've driven a Bugatti Veyron 867 00:55:11,072 --> 00:55:13,011 that has more than that, 868 00:55:13,012 --> 00:55:15,322 but a Bugatti Veyron... 869 00:55:17,342 --> 00:55:18,991 Oh! 870 00:55:18,992 --> 00:55:21,221 It has four-wheel drive 871 00:55:21,222 --> 00:55:24,141 and it weighs more than most mountains. 872 00:55:24,142 --> 00:55:26,861 This is rear-wheel drive, 873 00:55:26,862 --> 00:55:29,861 and the only significant weight comes from the air 874 00:55:29,862 --> 00:55:32,001 passing over the body. 875 00:55:35,862 --> 00:55:38,021 Flat in a Formula 1 car. 876 00:55:38,022 --> 00:55:39,933 Not flat in this. 877 00:55:41,632 --> 00:55:45,034 Oh, they should have called this the Widow-maker! 878 00:55:47,942 --> 00:55:50,731 The throttle is a hyperspace button. 879 00:55:50,732 --> 00:55:52,422 Step on it... 880 00:55:52,423 --> 00:55:54,323 and you're gone. 881 00:55:56,632 --> 00:56:00,621 And yet, somehow, even in this appalling weather, 882 00:56:00,622 --> 00:56:03,172 it got round all of the corners 883 00:56:03,173 --> 00:56:05,091 without crashing once. 884 00:56:05,092 --> 00:56:07,038 So, how? 885 00:56:12,272 --> 00:56:18,086 Well, that's partly because it's made of stuff from the future. 886 00:56:21,303 --> 00:56:23,874 And partly because it's clever. 887 00:56:25,812 --> 00:56:29,999 It adapts. It moves around to suit its environment. 888 00:56:32,173 --> 00:56:35,581 As the speed climbs, the rear wing rises 889 00:56:35,582 --> 00:56:37,631 to generate more downforce, 890 00:56:37,632 --> 00:56:40,461 but as you go past 156mph, 891 00:56:40,462 --> 00:56:43,731 it starts to go back down a little bit, 892 00:56:43,732 --> 00:56:46,811 otherwise the weight of the air passing over it 893 00:56:46,812 --> 00:56:50,071 would be so enormous it would break the suspension. 894 00:56:50,072 --> 00:56:53,751 Then you have the exhaust, which works with the rear diffuser 895 00:56:53,752 --> 00:56:56,381 to generate an area of low pressure 896 00:56:56,382 --> 00:56:59,811 into which the back of the car is sucked. 897 00:56:59,812 --> 00:57:03,531 The wheels are made from military-grade aluminium. 898 00:57:03,532 --> 00:57:07,221 The brake discs from a material that's only ever been used 899 00:57:07,222 --> 00:57:09,451 in the Arianespace programme. 900 00:57:09,452 --> 00:57:12,631 And they're coated with something called silicon carbide. 901 00:57:12,632 --> 00:57:16,091 Apparently it's the hardest substance known to man. 902 00:57:16,092 --> 00:57:18,581 Apart from dried Weetabix, obviously. 903 00:57:18,582 --> 00:57:20,581 And then, the whole thing 904 00:57:20,582 --> 00:57:25,918 sits on four tyres that were designed and made by Pirelli. 905 00:57:27,102 --> 00:57:31,414 All of this means you really have the confidence to open it up. 906 00:57:38,462 --> 00:57:43,341 This thing goes from 0 to 160mph 907 00:57:43,342 --> 00:57:47,151 faster than a Golf goes from 0 to 60. 908 00:57:47,152 --> 00:57:50,422 130, 140, 150, 909 00:57:50,423 --> 00:57:54,021 160, 170, 180, 190... 910 00:57:54,022 --> 00:57:56,605 Bloody hellfire! 911 00:57:58,183 --> 00:58:02,821 And as you hurtle round in a puddle of your own faeces, 912 00:58:02,822 --> 00:58:04,991 girning like an infant, 913 00:58:04,992 --> 00:58:08,826 the car is working on ways of going even faster. 914 00:58:13,303 --> 00:58:15,909 Let me give you an example. 915 00:58:17,992 --> 00:58:20,891 The electric motor is used 916 00:58:20,892 --> 00:58:24,351 to fill in the little gaps when the petrol engine 917 00:58:24,352 --> 00:58:27,101 isn't working at its best, like, for example, 918 00:58:27,102 --> 00:58:29,941 during gear changes 919 00:58:29,942 --> 00:58:33,242 or while the massive turbos are spooling up. 920 00:58:35,142 --> 00:58:38,451 And what I find hysterical about that is that McLaren 921 00:58:38,452 --> 00:58:40,991 has taken this hybrid technology, 922 00:58:40,992 --> 00:58:44,061 which is designed to reduce the impact 923 00:58:44,062 --> 00:58:46,531 of the internal combustion engine 924 00:58:46,532 --> 00:58:50,302 and is using it to increase the impact. 925 00:58:50,303 --> 00:58:53,591 That's like weaponising a wind farm. 926 00:58:53,592 --> 00:58:58,154 Or buying the Rainbow Warrior and turning it into an oil tanker. 927 00:59:05,152 --> 00:59:08,731 For years, cars have all been basically the same 928 00:59:08,732 --> 00:59:11,422 but this really isn't. 929 00:59:11,423 --> 00:59:14,781 It's a game-changer. A genuinely new chapter 930 00:59:14,782 --> 00:59:17,683 in the history of motoring. 931 00:59:19,102 --> 00:59:22,591 In a town, it's as eco friendly as a health-food shop. 932 00:59:22,592 --> 00:59:26,541 On a motorway, it's comfortable and produces no more carbon dioxide 933 00:59:26,542 --> 00:59:28,621 than a family saloon. 934 00:59:28,622 --> 00:59:32,141 And on a track, it can rip a hole through time. 935 00:59:32,142 --> 00:59:36,351 And it's all been achieved using something that's been around 936 00:59:36,352 --> 00:59:40,266 for centuries - brilliant British engineering. 937 00:59:41,982 --> 00:59:44,901 You could argue that it doesn't have 938 00:59:44,902 --> 00:59:47,261 the passion or the flair of a Ferrari, 939 00:59:47,262 --> 00:59:49,981 and I'd probably agree with you. 940 00:59:49,982 --> 00:59:52,511 But look at it this way. 941 00:59:52,512 --> 00:59:56,302 It was passion and flair that built the Leaning Tower of Pisa, 942 00:59:56,303 --> 00:59:59,351 and it was British engineering 943 00:59:59,352 --> 01:00:03,823 that built the plumb-dead-straight Westminster Abbey. 944 01:00:38,032 --> 01:00:39,971 Hair on end. 945 01:00:39,972 --> 01:00:43,432 Great, but weren't we supposed to test that against the hybrids 946 01:00:43,433 --> 01:00:46,591 that Porsche and Ferrari are developing? The Ferrari isn't ready. 947 01:00:46,592 --> 01:00:49,422 The Porsche is. It wasn't when I filmed that. But it is now. 948 01:00:49,423 --> 01:00:52,971 I shall be driving it on the show in a few weeks' time. Yes. 949 01:00:52,972 --> 01:00:55,861 And after you've done that, we're going to put the Stig 950 01:00:55,862 --> 01:00:59,231 in both of them and do some time laps around our track. 951 01:00:59,232 --> 01:01:02,391 Now, that should be quite something, I think. 952 01:01:02,392 --> 01:01:05,031 I don't think it will be. Hey? Why not? 953 01:01:05,032 --> 01:01:07,871 Well, because... Were you not listening the film? Yeah. 954 01:01:07,872 --> 01:01:10,821 The speed of this is beyond anything I've ever experienced. 955 01:01:10,822 --> 01:01:13,711 It's animal savagery. It's beyond belief. 956 01:01:13,712 --> 01:01:17,101 Yes, yes, yes, but the Porsche might be faster. It won't be. 957 01:01:17,102 --> 01:01:19,461 But it might be. No, but it won't be. 958 01:01:19,462 --> 01:01:21,621 But... it might be. 959 01:01:21,622 --> 01:01:24,141 I guarantee it won't be. But it might be. 960 01:01:24,142 --> 01:01:26,891 Hammond, I'll do you a deal. 961 01:01:26,892 --> 01:01:30,741 If the Porsche is faster round our track than this, 962 01:01:30,742 --> 01:01:34,341 I will change my name, by deed poll, 963 01:01:34,342 --> 01:01:36,432 to Jennifer. 964 01:01:36,433 --> 01:01:38,341 Really? Yes. 965 01:01:38,342 --> 01:01:39,951 Promise? Yes. 966 01:01:39,952 --> 01:01:44,231 And on that potential bombshell, it is time to end. 967 01:01:44,232 --> 01:01:46,881 Thank you so much for watching. See you next week. Good night! 968 01:01:46,882 --> 01:01:55,094 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru.