1 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:14,470 Two swans move their heads about... 2 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,670 I eat a shoe... 3 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:19,310 and James says he's not fat. 4 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,840 I'm not fat. 5 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:29,230 Welcome, everybody. 6 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,470 Hello, good evening. 7 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,270 Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. 8 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:34,790 Now... 9 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:39,710 Thank you. Now, our deep and profound love on this show 10 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:44,830 for Alfa Romeo is a triumph of hope over reality. 11 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,510 We always pray that their new models will be brilliant 12 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,550 but sort of know they won't be and then they never are. 13 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,270 But what about this? 14 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:56,470 The new and very pretty 4C. 15 00:00:56,520 --> 00:01:00,750 Well, Richard Hammond has been to Northern Italy, in the sunshine, 16 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:04,230 to find out all about it. 17 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,070 Jammy little bu... 18 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,750 Right, let's get this straight - 19 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:26,320 I'm in a mid-engined, two-seater Alfa Romeo. 20 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:31,960 The first proper Alfa sports car for 20 years. 21 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:39,270 And I'm driving it in Northern Italy, on a lovely day. 22 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:42,760 In theory, things don't get much better. 23 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:49,880 But, predictably, there are one or two problems. 24 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:57,230 First of all, it's going to cost around £45,000. 25 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:02,590 And that's a fair bit, especially as you don't get a V8, or even V6. 26 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:07,070 What you do get is a turbo-charged, reworked version of the 1.7 litre, 27 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,790 four-cylinder engine from a Giulietta hatchback. 28 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,430 And under here... 29 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:16,880 Well, I don't know what's under here cos the bonnet is bolted shut. 30 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:25,150 It's bolted shut for the same reason this car has no power steering, 31 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:28,270 and no proper climate control - 32 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,990 to save weight. 33 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,030 That's why it has the same sort of 34 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,870 carbon-fibre chassis as a Formula 1 car. 35 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:40,880 It's why there's almost no metal in the body at all. 36 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:47,990 The upshot is, the 4C weighs just 925kg. 37 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:52,360 That's about half what a Mercedes SLK weighs. 38 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:01,590 And on a road like this, that really pays dividends. 39 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,270 Oh, come on! 40 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:04,560 Lovely. 41 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:10,310 Because it's light, it's unbelievably agile. 42 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:14,200 It changes direction like a kitten chasing a spider. 43 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,990 And because there's no power steering, I can feel 44 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:28,720 far more at the steering wheel and know what the wheels are doing. 45 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,600 It grips... 46 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,600 ..fabulously. 47 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,510 It doesn't need a massive engine - 48 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:45,870 it's got 237 brake horsepower. Do you know what? That is enough. 49 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,320 More than enough. 50 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:54,390 0 to 60 takes four-and-a-half seconds. 51 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,830 The top speed is 160. 52 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:01,480 And yet, because of the lightness, it'll do 40 miles to the gallon. 53 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,870 Drop a window, sample the noise. 54 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,880 Oh! Lovely little crackle on the up-shift. 55 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,830 Oh, it's great. 56 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,950 This little Alfa is growing on me with a speed 57 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,310 and ferocity that I've never before encountered. 58 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:25,640 It's just getting under my skin. 59 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,510 Because it's not like anything else... 60 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,950 Oh, my God! 61 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,440 What? 62 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,510 What are you doing here? 63 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:42,950 As you well know, Hammond, we receive thousands of letters 64 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,830 every single week from viewers and they all say the same thing. 65 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,870 "Dear Top so-called Gear, the Alfa 4C, 66 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,990 "is it better than quad bike?" 67 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,030 Well, I can clear than one up straight away - yes, it is because 68 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:59,870 quad bikes are slow, ugly, noisy, stupid and incredibly dangerous. 69 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,270 And I don't mean dangerous like you might fall off, 70 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,790 I mean like they want to kill you. 71 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:06,750 Everybody I know, pretty much, who's ever tried one, has been 72 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,030 killed by it at some point. 73 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,950 Yup. That's as maybe, but we need to settle this, 74 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,550 so we're going to have a race. We're going to race? Yeah. 75 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,190 You on that, presumably? Yeah. 76 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,190 Me in that? Yeah. 77 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:21,630 Jeremy's proposal was a race from the top of Lake Como 78 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,390 to a hotel terrace at the bottom. 79 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:27,350 I would take the 43-mile lakeside route, 80 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,840 whilst he would attempt to go as the crow flies. 81 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,920 Good, you're going to be killed and last. 82 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:42,320 And so, at exactly 10.37am, the race began. 83 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,080 Here we go. 84 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,190 Let me talk you through my quad. 85 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,470 It's called a Gibbs Quadski, 86 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:02,470 designed and engineered in Britain, built just outside Detroit 87 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:07,230 and the engine is German - a 1.3 from a BMW motorcycle. 88 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,800 And you have 40 horsepower. 89 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,960 Doesn't sound like much but like the Alfa, it's light. 90 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:19,390 Apparently it has the same power-to-weight ratio 91 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:20,800 as a helicopter. 92 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:25,950 He's mad. I mean, he doesn't stand a chance. 93 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,430 I know what he's thinking - 94 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:31,310 he's imagining he'll be crashing off-road and cutting corners. 95 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,990 He won't - he'll be bumbling through the woods on little tracks, 96 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,160 he'll get stuck, fall off, break a leg - maybe two. 97 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,190 Hammond was wrong. My legs were fine, 98 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:48,750 but I had got into a bit of a pickle trying to find a shortcut. 99 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:49,830 Totally lost. 100 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,080 Literally no idea which... 101 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,590 No idea. 102 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,720 I'm just in weeds... 103 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,840 Oh, now which way? 104 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,510 With Jeremy stuck in the undergrowth, 105 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:11,000 I had time to admire one of the most beautiful places on Earth. 106 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:23,360 Ah! Mountains, pretty village - all present and correct. 107 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:28,830 Coming through. 108 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:33,990 See, this scooter rider will not mind me whizzing past in my Alfa Romeo, 109 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:39,110 because I know he loves Alfa Romeo just as much, if not more, than I do. 110 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,360 We have to love Alfa, it's the law. 111 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,310 Meanwhile... 112 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,670 Oh. God. No, wait. 113 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,190 Many nettles. 114 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,350 This may have a top speed of 40 115 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,110 but I'm not doing that now, really. 116 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,710 Happily, however, 117 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:04,510 Hammond was about to discover one of the Alfa's drawbacks - its girth. 118 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:08,230 Oh, no! Oh, my God, this is narrow! 119 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,670 Oh! That's... 120 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:14,150 This car is wide. 121 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,920 That's a problem. 122 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:20,470 So what were they thinking when they've got streets like this? 123 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,160 I mean... Oh! 124 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,200 Still, could be worse. 125 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:34,830 Oh, no! Now look what I've done. 126 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:38,120 I've accidentally crashed into Lake Como. 127 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:44,600 But it's OK, because if I push this little button here... 128 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:55,080 ..the wheels have folded up and now I'm on a jet ski. 129 00:08:56,520 --> 00:09:01,230 Oh, and it gets better because, on land, it has 40 horsepower, 130 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:05,360 but here on water it has 140. 131 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:15,230 I know exactly what music we have to play right now. 132 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,150 ♪ We are sailing... ♪ 133 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,430 No, not that! 134 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:19,710 Cue the Bond! 135 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,080 MUSIC: "James Bond Theme" by John Barry 136 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,470 Here we go - 45 miles an hour! 137 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:39,720 Hammond, wherever you are, you can't beat this. 138 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:47,320 Narrow. Really narrow. Really wide car. 139 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:52,200 I'd like to be driving something narrower now, like a bus. 140 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:57,680 Right, clear of town, press on. 141 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,990 So let's just get this straight - 142 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:11,590 I'm wearing a wet white shirt and I'm in a lake - I'm Mr Darcy! 143 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,120 Come on! 144 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,560 There is Richard Hammond. 145 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:29,110 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 146 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,990 I'll slow down a bit. 147 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,190 'Hello? Hello?' 148 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,190 Er, hello. Where are you? 149 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,990 'To your left, mate, to your left.' 150 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,750 You can't be to my left. How can you be to my left? 151 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,630 What? 152 00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:45,990 'Have you ever seen anything like this?' 153 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,750 What are you on? Is that the same quad? 154 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,430 It certainly is. 155 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:55,270 And I'm afraid I must now say goodbye. 156 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,400 'Cheerio. See you soon.' 157 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,120 Cheating sod! 158 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:06,350 He can just go straight across the lake now. 159 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,070 I've got to go all the way down the bottom here 160 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:11,110 and back up the other side. 161 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:15,120 I'm going to lose this and he's going to do his stupid smug face. 162 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,720 Spurred on by the horror of his face... 163 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:25,520 ..I put the hammer down. 164 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,760 Come on, little Alfa. 165 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,710 We were neck and neck, 166 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:43,600 but then Jeremy got distracted by an Italian ferry. 167 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,480 Look at that! 168 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,680 What a machine. 169 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:56,600 I'm sorry I'm hearing the Bond music again now. 170 00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,430 You want a race? 171 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,280 I'll give you a race. 172 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,440 Oh, come on, I can't lose this! 173 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:30,670 By this stage, I'd disentangled myself from the hydrofoil, 174 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:35,960 but had run into another problem - Lake Como's weird winds. 175 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,120 Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! 176 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,520 I think we've got some chop. 177 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:47,880 Wow! 178 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,310 I've lost ten miles.... 179 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,790 Aw! 180 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:55,270 Ow, my back bottom! 181 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:58,030 Wow! Wow! 182 00:12:58,080 --> 00:12:59,720 They slow you down a bit. 183 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,870 Oh, my... 184 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,870 That was a big one. 185 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:09,030 I'm now down to 15 miles an hour, and I can't realistically go 186 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:13,630 any faster, cos I can't see where I'm bloody going. 187 00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:16,920 The vicious chop had put Hammond back in the lead. 188 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,080 We have to beat him. 189 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:32,790 Thankfully, on the lake, I'd found calmer water. 190 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,200 45 miles an hour. 191 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,080 We are back in this race. 192 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:53,350 There he is. There is Richard Hammond. 193 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,950 Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! 194 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,710 Goodbye, Hammond. 195 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,080 He is history. 196 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,830 It certainly seemed that way, 197 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:10,390 because pretty soon the hotel was in sight. 198 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,600 There it is, there's the finishing line. 199 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,830 So, I was definitely going to win this. 200 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:24,310 But then I realised the victory would be a bit hollow. 201 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:28,710 Obviously, I want to beat Hammond, of course I do. 202 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:33,630 But I don't want to beat that Alfa Romeo, because, to me, 203 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,030 Alfas are special. 204 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,430 They're really special. 205 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:42,350 This is a bit like having a running race with your four-year-old son - 206 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:46,880 yes, of course you can win, but you don't really want to. 207 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,600 It's not far now. 208 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,760 Little Alfa, I think we have to accept the inevitable. 209 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,830 He's not there, is he? 210 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,710 In a few minutes, Hammond would arrive 211 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:08,750 and see my Quadski moored alongside the hotel's jetty. 212 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,680 Damn and blast, I'm going to win this. 213 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,630 Nothing I can do. 214 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,030 But then... 215 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,390 I spotted a hidey-hole. 216 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,400 Yes! 217 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:26,480 Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius. 218 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,800 Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. 219 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,160 Right, where is he? 220 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,120 This is the terrace. 221 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,640 Up here maybe. 222 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,120 Do you know what? 223 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:20,400 He no here. I don't know how. What I've done is win... 224 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:26,510 ..in that little Alfa. Hammond! Mate. Well done. 225 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,990 You beat me fair and square. I did. 226 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:33,790 In the Alfa. Do you know? I would have bet £1 million... 227 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:37,350 when I overtook you, I was going to win. 228 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,390 Your question is answered. 229 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,590 The Alfa 4C is better than the quad bike. 230 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:56,030 Yes, but we saw you lose on purpose. A bit, just a bit. 231 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,310 Did you not like the jet ski, Quadski thing? 232 00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,510 Yes, it's brilliant. 233 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,390 Do you know, the best thing about it is its reliability. 234 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,230 It performed faultlessly all day 235 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:09,030 and then it performed faultlessly all the next day 236 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,310 when we had to rerun the race because an American 237 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:16,230 knocked the camera with all the film it into the lake. Really? 238 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,710 I was on this thing for two days, two days. 239 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:25,430 By the time we finished, my sausage looked like a beaver's tail. 240 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:33,670 Right, um, is it expensive? What, my sausage? No, the thing. 241 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,910 Oh, the thing, yes, it's £26,000, but, no, hang on, 242 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:42,550 you do get a lot of health and safety warning notices for that. 243 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,910 This is my favourite down here. 244 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:50,070 It's warning about what you have to wear and it says, hang on, 245 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:55,030 "Normal swimwear does not adequately protect against forceful 246 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:59,110 "water entry into rectum or vagina." 247 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:09,150 He's not making that up. It says vagina on it. 248 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,430 Excuse me, does anyone mind if we talk about the car for a bit? 249 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,470 It's a car show and everything. 250 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:18,750 Good, cos I've got some questions about this. How wide is it? 251 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,950 It's wider than a Range Rover. Is it? Seriously? Very wide. 252 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,670 And let me get this straight, 253 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:27,990 Alfa Romeo is selling a car where you can't open the bonnet? 254 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,150 Yeah, I know. 255 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,590 Ballsy. Yeah. Ballsy. It is, yes, 256 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:34,990 but that's not the interesting thing about it. 257 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,470 What is the interesting thing? 258 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,710 Well, it costs £47,000, but when you get in it, 259 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:43,630 everything feels just feels a bit cheap and plasticky. 260 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:47,030 Look at this handbrake, it's just... 261 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,550 It's like something that came out of a cracker. 262 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,950 You know, if I got the handbrake in a Christmas cracker, 263 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,510 I'd be a bit disappointed. You know what I mean. Yes, I do. 264 00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:00,030 It's just that there are a lot of EU rules coming very soon 265 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,350 on fuel efficiency and emissions and so on, 266 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,950 and the only way that cars can meet them 267 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,670 is if they get very, very light. 268 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,830 Yeah. And pretty soon, all cars will have to be made like this, 269 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,270 but do you know what? I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. 270 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,990 Yes, you get a shonky handbrake, but your car is more nimble. 271 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,310 It's faster and it's more economical. 272 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:24,670 And for the ultimate expression of that art, later in the show, 273 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:31,790 we have a review of this - the new McLaren P1, which is astonishing. 274 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:37,230 Well, I am very much looking forward to that, but first it's the news. 275 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:41,790 Yes. Now Kia is working on something called "gesture control". 276 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,430 It's very interesting, because of instead of having 277 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:49,190 buttons all over the dashboard of your car, you just 278 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:53,030 sort of wave your hand around a bit, and the car will do stuff. 279 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,350 Very futuristic. 280 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,870 Yeah, but I only make three gestures when I'm driving a car. 281 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,750 What? One of them is... 282 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,030 which means I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to do that. 283 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,790 Then there's...hi, to a friend. And... Call Jeremy Clarkson. 284 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:14,760 Or navigate to James May's house. 285 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,790 Oh, now, now...you know those motorway gantries 286 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,630 that are supposed to be used to tell you 287 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,190 about stationary traffic ahead or ice, but they're actually used 288 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,950 for telling you stuff that doesn't matter. 289 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:32,310 We've got a picture of one here - "Check your fuel level." 290 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:35,150 It might as well say, "Wash your hands after going to the lavatory." 291 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,390 "Brush your hair." 292 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,470 Well, anyway, the committee that decides on what messages flashed up - 293 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,470 and it is a committee, we checked - has been told to stop doing 294 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:46,670 that sort of thing, OK, because the government says it's distracting. 295 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,870 But it isn't distracting, it's irritating. 296 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,950 Scarlett Johansson in a short skirt on a windy day on a motorway bridge, 297 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,470 that is distracting. That would be. It's distracting now. 298 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:56,870 It's distracting me right now. 299 00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,350 I think what would be distracting would be painting 300 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,310 the surface of the motorway so it looked like the opening sequences 301 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,350 of Doctor Who as you drove along. 302 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,190 That would be really distracting. 303 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:10,710 I think they should use those signs to put up a pub quiz questions 304 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:14,390 as you drive past. That's a really good idea. 305 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,110 What, and then you'd have the answer on the next one along? 306 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,790 Yes, journeys would just fly by. "ooh, I don't know." 307 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,430 And then you get the answer. That's brilliant. Yes, thank you. 308 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,230 Not if my little sister set the questions. 309 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,070 Why? Because you'd get the question on one, 310 00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:29,030 and then the next one would go, "Oh, come on, you must know that!" 311 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,510 Please can we move on? I'd like to talk about this. 312 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,950 It's the new Corvette Z06. Oh, yes. 313 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,070 Supercharged V8 6.2 litres 625 brake horsepower. 314 00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:41,830 It's got a magnetic ride control, electronic diff, carbon fibre. 315 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:45,190 All the hi-tech stuff you get on a European sports car... 316 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,310 But does it have the European self-restraint, though, does it? 317 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:50,510 It's a bit more shock 'em all than stiff upper lip. 318 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,190 Yes, but look at it. 319 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,310 No, Hammond, you can't drive a Corvette in England. 320 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:58,190 It's like talking in a lift - you can do that in America, 321 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,110 you can't do that in Britain. 322 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,830 In fact, we should have signs at Heathrow telling American visitors, 323 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,630 "Please drive on the left and don't talk in lifts." 324 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,750 Yes, yes, whatever, but I think that looks stupendous. 325 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,390 Yes, yes, it would look stupendous in Texas, 326 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:16,150 but it would look ridiculous in Tewkesbury. It would. 327 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,870 Hammond, if you bought one of those and drove it around England, 328 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,270 the next thing you would be hanging up a Confederate flag 329 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,430 outside your house. 330 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,430 I did paint a Confederate flag on the roof of my Toyota Corolla 331 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:26,470 when I was 17. 332 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,150 Where were you? Ripon. North Yorkshire. 333 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,710 What? It looked brilliant. Let me just get this straight. 334 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:35,270 You drove around North Yorkshire in a crappy little Japanese hatchback 335 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:39,230 with a Confederate flag on the roof? 336 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:43,200 Yes. Yes. A symbol of slavery. 337 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,510 Ladies and gentlemen, 12 Years A Hammond! 338 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,030 I didn't realise - I just thought it looked nice. 339 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,990 The base model of this - not the Z06, 340 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:54,830 the normal one - 60 grand? 62, yes. 341 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,150 Well, for about the same sort of money, you can have this, 342 00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,510 which is the new Jag. 343 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:00,910 This is the F-type Coupe. 344 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,550 That's around the same sort of money, and I put it to you that 345 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,110 what we have here is a lovely piece 346 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,750 of double Gloucester on a water biscuit. 347 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,190 Your Corvette is 600 kilos of... 348 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,350 ..Monterrey Jack on a taco. 349 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,270 Yeah, that's right. I'd rather have that. 350 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,750 You'd rather have the Monterey Jack, wouldn't you? 351 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,190 Yes. Hang on a minute. Surely it's 600 kilograms of... 352 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:24,270 Monterey Jack on a taco with a strawberry on top. 353 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,430 Strawberry. 354 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,230 At as long as there's a strawberry on top. 355 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:28,870 Are there any Americans here? Whoo! 356 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,270 You are. Oh, we've wondered about this for years. 357 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,110 Why do you put these on everything? 358 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,710 Because they taste good. Yes, but not on a shepherd's pie. 359 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,070 This is not an exaggeration. I stayed in a hotel in LA. 360 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:42,470 I had to have some dry cleaning done, and when it came back 361 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,390 in the morning, it was all wrapped up, and there was a strawberry on it. 362 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,710 What, on your dry-cleaning? On my dry-cleaning. 363 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,550 Now, this isn't news - it's a question. 364 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,150 Why is the world still incapable of working out 365 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,470 a way of dispensing petrol? Anyone been to America? 366 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,350 Well, you've all been to America, I suppose, at some point. 367 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,030 You go into a petrol station there 368 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,790 and you have to pay for the fuel before you fill your tank. 369 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,550 Well, you don't know how much you want 370 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:06,870 or how much it's going to take. 371 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,830 Yes, but I hate those European stations 372 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,310 where they have those automatic credit card ones. Don't work. 373 00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:13,670 Never ever work. The other one that doesn't work, 374 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,950 and especially in France, are those ones 375 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,430 where you're supposed to put euro notes in a little slot. 376 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:22,240 No. You put it in and it goes, "Nnnngh! Nnnngh!" Oh. 377 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,350 There's a lot of people doing that, and it goes, "Nnnngh!" 378 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,230 I'll give you the worst scenario, James. 379 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,910 Worst scenario is, "Nnnngh!" 380 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,190 "Yes, there we go," get the pump out, "Nnnngh!" 381 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:38,590 But the worst country in the world for filling up with petrol is Britain, 382 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:44,030 because petrol stations here now are also supermarkets, 383 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,110 which means that people pull up at the pump 384 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:47,550 and then go and do their shopping. 385 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,590 Well, that is exactly why I was late this morning, 386 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,030 cos I pulled up behind the car that was at the pump 387 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,710 ready for my turn and I knew who it was through the window - 388 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,910 it was a woman and she was doing the whole weekly groceries shop - 389 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,550 and she came out with the four massive carrier bags, 390 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,190 and I thought, "That's finally it," 391 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:04,270 and then she went to the cash machine... Oh... 392 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,990 ..sorted out Greece's national debt with her card. 393 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,310 I am a patient man, but even I... I was thinking, 394 00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:13,670 "I want to put your head in a brown paper bag and bludgeon you to death 395 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,310 "with the blunt end of an axe." 396 00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:19,670 That's quite bad. Do you know? My question is petrol stations is - 397 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:23,230 and we could ask this here - and it's mostly women, 398 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:27,510 what do you do in the 15 minutes between getting into the car 399 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:28,670 and driving off? 400 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,910 I know what it is, I know what it is. What? I watched it. 401 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,710 She turned round and she put her handbag on the back seat, 402 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:38,510 fair enough, but then interfered with it for some time. 403 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:40,190 Doing what, though? 404 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,230 I suspect women try to make sure their handbag doesn't fall over, 405 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,870 which I don't understand, because women's handbags are not well organised, 406 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,150 so it doesn't matter if it falls over. 407 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,510 I reckon I could put a house brick in a woman's handbag, 408 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:57,230 and she would not know it was there ever. Have you got handbag with you? 409 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,390 No. You haven't? Anyone got handbag? It's in the car. 410 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,630 That's a shame, because I was going to do this game. 411 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:03,950 I was going to put my car keys, 412 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,870 and it's a Jag this week, in your handbag and then, 413 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:10,270 if you could find them by the end of the show, you could have the car. 414 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:11,990 You wouldn't be able to. 415 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:15,230 Two angry old men rampaging on about petrol stations. 416 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,920 Him and his cardigan, him... just him. 417 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,110 Now, as I'm sure you know, after 13 years, 418 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,190 the British military forces are pulling out of Afghanistan. 419 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,950 What you may not know is that that operation has been the biggest deployment 420 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,990 of British military vehicles since World War II. 421 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:36,630 Now, bringing that lot home is quite a big job, 422 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:40,840 so I packed my tin helmet and went out there to...get in the way. 423 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:49,430 'If you want to get a sense of just how big the British involvement 424 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,630 'in Afghanistan has become, 425 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:56,960 'you just have to look at the size of its main base - Camp Bastion.' 426 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:05,750 In 2006, when British forces arrived here, 427 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:10,670 it was just a scrap of desert with a few tents in, but now look. 428 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,320 It's the size of Reading. 429 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:25,590 'And inside its 25 miles of blast-proof perimeter wall 430 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:29,030 'alongside the few comforts of home, 431 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,800 'you'll find a vast armada of vehicles. 432 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:40,200 'At its peak, the number was 5,000.' 433 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,190 We've got a few of them here. 434 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,630 The names will be dimly familiar from news reports. 435 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,590 That is a Ridgeback, that is a Mastiff, 436 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,390 then you have a Foxhound, the pale-coloured one is a Husky, 437 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,990 and that weird-looking thing with the tracks on over there, that is a Warthog. 438 00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:00,630 Don't expect cute and cuddly names like Panda or Fiesta - 439 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:05,110 everything here is named after a dog, except the Warthog, 440 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,400 which is named after a warthog. 441 00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:13,030 'To keep the wheels turning, the Army has built this enormous workshop, 442 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:16,150 'which, at full strength, carries £60 million worth 443 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:20,480 'of spares and employs 150 mechanics. 444 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,030 'Bastion even has its own purpose-built 445 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:31,800 'driver training ground, approved by a squad of driving instructors.' 446 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:37,710 The sheer size of this operation is truly impressive, 447 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:42,190 but equally fascinating is what the Afghanistan campaign has done 448 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,440 to Britain's military vehicles. 449 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:50,070 'It has brought about the biggest change in a generation. 450 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,470 'When the British first arrived here, their staple patrol vehicle, 451 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:57,550 'the Snatch Land Rover, offered woeful protection against IEDs. 452 00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:04,040 'In 2009 alone, 79 soldiers fell victim to such devices.' 453 00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,670 'The 29-tonne American-made Mastiff offered a quick fix, 454 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:15,670 'but in Leamington Spa, 455 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:19,560 'a small British firm devised a more 21st-century solution.' 456 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,390 This is a Foxhound and it's very clever, 457 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,470 because it's actually made out of armour. 458 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:34,350 It's not a normal vehicle to which armour plate has been added. 459 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,880 It's sort of armour monoblock, if you like. 460 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:43,510 'The Foxhound also has a V-shaped hull to deflect mine blasts 461 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:47,030 'and thanks to its state-of-the-art armour, it weighs 462 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,190 'just seven and a half tonnes, 463 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,800 'which makes it a featherweight around these parts.' 464 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:58,400 To drive, is pretty much like an off-road car. 465 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,120 It's a positive mountain goat, this thing. 466 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:07,070 'Now, history will record that government bureaucrats 467 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,630 'dragged their heels over the military vehicle crisis 468 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,070 'in Afghanistan, 469 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:14,710 'but the boffins who developed the Foxhound certainly didn't.' 470 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,710 This machine was designed, engineered, tested, proved 471 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:22,390 and got on the ground in large numbers in just over three years. 472 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:26,720 Try doing that with a small hatchback or something. 473 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,720 'Alongside the Foxhound... 474 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:36,830 '..the military drew on a policy 475 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:40,030 'called Urgent Operational Requirement or UOR, 476 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,630 'which saw them combine operational demands 477 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:46,440 'and the best vehicle-related suggestions from soldiers on the ground.' 478 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,840 Here's a very simple example of UOR - this is a Mastiff. 479 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,790 It's got cameras mounted on the sides. 480 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,630 Commander Buzz here can look at the pictures on his screen. 481 00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,110 On the early ones, they were originally mounted. 482 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,750 When you went through things like villages, they got smashed. 483 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,190 So somebody said, "Why not put them on a hinge?" 484 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:08,760 So they did. 485 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,790 'Soldiers also needed their vehicles to be more stealthy in the dark. 486 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,390 'So a night-vision system was developed 487 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,550 'that would allow them to switch off their headlights.' 488 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:25,070 I'm now driving the Mastiff completely blacked out 489 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:28,790 but using the night-vision system suspended in front of my face. 490 00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,190 And this is quite amazing. 491 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:35,560 This is actually my eyes. I can't see a single thing through the windscreen. 492 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,910 'These lamps on the outside are infrared 493 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:41,910 'and illuminate the surrounding area. 494 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,030 'Our camera can see the light they emit, 495 00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,750 'but it's invisible to the naked eye.' 496 00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:51,390 We ought to point out that normally, we wouldn't even have these red interior lights on. 497 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:54,070 Those are there so our cameras are working properly. 498 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,070 But actually, you could drive this.... 499 00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:59,830 we could be completely black in here, couldn't we? Yeah, complete blackout, yeah. 500 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,510 Right, so I've missed those... 501 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,750 what are those, are they rocks or are they...? 502 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,190 Yeah, they're just in front of you. 503 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:07,710 Straightening up, sir. 504 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,150 See that compound ahead of us? Yeah. 505 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,430 You want to be going round to the left of that. 506 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:14,430 I can see that as clear as day. 507 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:18,110 It's a good piece of kit, isn't it? It's brilliant, isn't it? 508 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:21,310 'Now, on a machine is heavily armoured is a Mastiff, 509 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:24,550 'the protection against roadside bombs is good. 510 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:28,160 'But Afghanistan threw up another issue that needed sorting.' 511 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:33,630 What if the vehicle is blown over? How do you train for that? 512 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:39,590 Well, what you do is you build one of these. 513 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:44,270 It's a RODET - Roll Over Drills Egress Trainer. 514 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,150 Oh! 515 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,080 And I think we're upside down. 516 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:57,110 'All these improvements have had a dramatic effect on military motoring out here.' 517 00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:00,910 Since the new generation of PMVs was introduced - 518 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,270 that's protective military vehicles...the Mastiff, 519 00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,510 the Foxhound, the Husky, 520 00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,670 the Warthog, all those things - 521 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:13,830 there have been over 1,000 survivors of IED strikes on vehicles. 522 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:18,790 And a senior British officer admitted to me the other day that, 523 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,350 in the old days, when we had the soft-skinned vehicles - 524 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,630 the Snatch Land Rover and so on - 525 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:27,680 that might have been more like three casualties per vehicle. 526 00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,230 'With our troops now coming home, 527 00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:39,110 'this stuff is too valuable to leave behind. 528 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:42,790 'So a massive operation is under way to bring it back to Britain. 529 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:46,750 'At forward bases like this one, all the vehicles and spares 530 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,910 'are being gathered up for the drive back to Bastion. 531 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:53,270 'Which meant that, in the middle of the night, 532 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,190 'I found myself in a convoy of returning vehicles 533 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,550 'in full Ross Kemp mode.' 534 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:01,950 We're in a Mastiff. We're in a convoy of 31 vehicles. 535 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:06,110 These legs belong to Sue, who's up the top on the gun, keeping lookout. 536 00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:09,870 Hello. Morning. Morning, ma'am. Is there room for two of us up there? 537 00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:14,870 We can give it a go. Right, I'll move this way a bit. There we go. Ow. 538 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,950 I don't think we're going to fit on. I've pulled something off. 539 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,480 I'm not fat. 540 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:32,030 What's to stop somebody... Cos we can't really see very much out there. 541 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:35,230 What's to stop somebody out there just taking a shot at you? 542 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:39,510 Absolutely nothing at the moment. So they're out there somewhere. 543 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,430 They are. There're not that far away. 544 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:46,670 When was the last time a roadside bomb went off on this bit, do you know? 545 00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:51,320 Very... Very recent. Very recent? Very recent. 546 00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,310 'Daylight found us still in one piece, 547 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,590 'and back within the walls of Bastion, 548 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,350 'the packing-up process could begin. 549 00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,590 'Alongside a strip-down service, 550 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:11,990 'each vehicle gets a 24-hour-long jet wash. 551 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,390 'Biological decontamination. 552 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:18,670 'And, at the very end, its own passport.' 553 00:35:18,720 --> 00:35:20,590 And look at the size of it. 554 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:25,750 All these pages, all these signatures, everything signed off. 555 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:29,390 Every single vehicle and piece of equipment has one of those. 556 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,510 And there are over 3,500 of them. 557 00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,920 So don't complain next time you have to tax and MOT your car. 558 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:46,360 'For some poor souls, the new machinery came too late. 559 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:53,240 'But the military has responded to the brutality of this conflict.' 560 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,470 'And the vehicles we're bringing home from Afghanistan 561 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,360 'are much better than the ones we went out with.' 562 00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,470 And there it is. 563 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,830 The big military Foxhound. 564 00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:42,310 Or, since the Army loves an acronym, the big MF. 565 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:47,190 Anyway, it's now time to put an S in our RPC. 566 00:36:47,240 --> 00:36:51,070 Britain has produced many great Toms over the years - 567 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:54,150 Daley, Jones and, of course, Mas the Tank Engine. 568 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:58,190 But, tonight, our Tom is the newest of them all. 569 00:36:58,240 --> 00:37:01,350 He's from Thor and Avengers Assemble and War Horse. 570 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,030 Ladies and gentlemen, Tom Hiddleston. 571 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:12,190 How are you? Very well, thank you. 572 00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:15,510 Look! Thank you. Thank you. 573 00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:17,440 Have a seat. Thank you. 574 00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:25,270 I was half expecting you to ask the audience to kneel before you. 575 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,390 Not here. I haven't got my horns with me. 576 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,350 So let's get on to your car history if I may. Yes, sure. 577 00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:35,000 Your first car, then, what was it? It was a Peugeot 106. Mmm(!) 578 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:42,350 Yeah. It was quite adventurous. Mmm(!) 1.1. Wow(!) 579 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:47,550 Really phwoar - when you floored it, you felt it. It was a 1.1 what? 580 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:50,720 They always had silly names. Zest. Yeah, there you go. 581 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:56,470 Sounds like a washing powder. It sounds like lemon juice. It does. 582 00:37:56,520 --> 00:38:00,870 I bought it with my first pay check for some TV work that I got 583 00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:04,870 while I was at university. And I kept that for ten years. Ten years?! 584 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:07,390 Ten whole years. All the way through my 20s, yeah. 585 00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,550 But I presume that, obviously, 586 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:13,590 now, as result of you being Loki in the Thor franchise... Indeed, yes. 587 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:17,110 ..there's no need now to drive around in cars with zesty names? 588 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:20,710 Well, I'm very fortunate to drive a Jaguar. 589 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,590 And as you probably know, 590 00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:26,070 I'm part of a campaign that they have recently done. And they are... 591 00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:29,750 Weirdly, Jaguar's been part of my life for the last couple of years, 592 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,310 cos I keep playing characters in films who drive Jaguars. 593 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:33,710 What, does Loki drive a Jag? 594 00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:37,310 I think Loki drives a spaceship. 595 00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,350 Yes, he does. Is it a Jag spaceship? It is a Jag, I'm sure. 596 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,350 Goes to the petrol station and goes, 597 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,590 "Oh, dear, my dear, I seem to have left my wallet at home. 598 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,510 "This is embarrassing." I'm sure he would approve. 599 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,430 Caddish spaceship. Yup. 600 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,430 No, this Jag commercial, actually, I don't know if anybody's seen it, 601 00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:55,190 but have a look at this. 602 00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:57,830 Have you ever noticed, how, in Hollywood movies, 603 00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:59,630 all the villains are played by Brits? 604 00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:00,990 Maybe we just sound right. 605 00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,120 Good evening, sir. Thank you, Mary. 606 00:39:06,240 --> 00:39:08,030 We're more focused. 607 00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,110 More precise. 608 00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:11,990 We're always one step ahead. 609 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:15,440 With a certain style, an eye for detail. 610 00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:19,400 And we're obsessed by power! 611 00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:31,110 A stiff upper lip is key. 612 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,310 And we all drive Jaguars. 613 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,470 Oh, yes. It's good to be bad. 614 00:39:42,720 --> 00:39:46,230 I have to say, the line I like most in that is Mark Strong's, 615 00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:49,030 cos he goes, "And we all drive Jaguars." 616 00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:53,240 What it should be is, "We all drive Jaguars...now." Right! 617 00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,790 "As a result of this." Yeah. Or, indeed, a helicopter. 618 00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,590 Was that really filmed in London? It was all filmed in London. 619 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,070 It was one of the most extraordinary evenings of my life. 620 00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:07,030 I... We were allowed to go over central London about 500 feet. 621 00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:09,750 And the door of the helicopter was open. 622 00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:13,510 And Tom Hooper, who directed it, was sitting behind the camera. 623 00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:17,590 And we were up, banking right, and I was leaning out the window, 624 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:21,430 and a certain point, he said, "I'm afraid we have to cut, we have to change..." 625 00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,350 "OK, good, that's completely fine." "Cut." 626 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:28,310 Argh! It's really high! You know what I mean? 627 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,150 When the cameras rolling, I was like, "I've got this - 628 00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,390 "more focused, more precise." And as soon as it was cut, I was like... 629 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,430 "Oh, God, the window's open! Someone shut the door!" 630 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:40,910 It is a good point, though. It's a very good business, isn't it, that is raised 631 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:44,310 in that commercial about the number of vets who are baddies. 632 00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,310 Rickman and then Hopkins and you... 633 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,030 Alan Rickman, Anthony Hopkins... 634 00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:50,230 I guess it started with James Mason back in the day. 635 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:53,030 God, I thought you were going to see James May! 636 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,710 The world's longest and most boring film. 637 00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,230 The undiscovered British villain. 638 00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:59,310 Yes. 639 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,830 But what is it, do you think, that the Brits bring to a Hollywood movie? 640 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,190 I genuinely think it's because Americans think 641 00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:06,720 we're inherently distrustful. 642 00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:11,640 They think, "Oh, my God, your accent! You're so sneaky!" 643 00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:16,470 Or something. It's illusion, of course. 644 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,630 They like seeing us fail, I think that's what it is. That's it. 645 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:23,710 Cos you have to fail if you're the baddie. That's probably what it is. 646 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:28,270 Now, your career began, I believe, at Slough Comprehensive. 647 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:30,910 It certainly did, yup. As the front leg of an elephant? 648 00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:35,750 I was the front leg of an elephant carrying Eddie Redmayne. 649 00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,830 He was grand enough to be the passenger of the elephant. Really? Yeah. 650 00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:41,670 I was the arse of a donkey once. 651 00:41:41,720 --> 00:41:44,630 And I ended up here as a result of that. And then you did the obligatory... 652 00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,870 The greatest arse of a donkey...in the world. 653 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:56,830 That was very good! Sorry, couldn't help it. No, that was... 654 00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,790 Somebody said that you were a good mimic. Is that something...? 655 00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:03,390 It's something I've done. I've done it my whole life. 656 00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:06,510 I remember, when I was a child, they used to have a double tape deck, 657 00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:09,990 and I would record my own radio show, with all the different voices. 658 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:14,230 They were basically voices of people I'd heard of the telly, you know. 659 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:19,310 Phillip Schofield's and... Could you still do Phillip Schofield? 660 00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,990 I don't know. I don't even know if... Actually, don't bother. 661 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:26,030 I wouldn't know what he sounded like. Throw me another one. Anthony Hopkins. 662 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:27,670 Oh, Tony Hopkins... Yeah. 663 00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:29,310 Have you had him on the show? Top Gear. 664 00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:32,350 Yes, I'd love to be on the show. I'd like to drive fast around a track. 665 00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:36,030 Being taught to drive by The Stig, great man, great man, I'd love to do that. 666 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:42,070 Let's think of some more names. 667 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,230 Anyone got any more names we can fire? 668 00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,670 Try to make them men, cos that's probably easier. Yeah. 669 00:42:46,720 --> 00:42:48,830 What? Arnold Schwarzenegger? 670 00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:51,350 Arnold Schwarzenegger. What was that? 671 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:54,280 Paul O'Grady. I think I'll go for Schwarzenegger. 672 00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:57,830 I'm trying to think of something he says. 673 00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,480 I know now why you cry. 674 00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,350 That sounded a little bit like Peter O'Toole. Sorry about that. 675 00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:08,870 I know now you cry. 676 00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,870 That is quite a skill. Yeah. And what are you doing now? 677 00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:13,510 Anything exciting? 678 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:16,670 I'm just finishing a run of Coriolanus in the West End, 679 00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:18,350 which I've enjoyed hugely. 680 00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:22,270 And I'm about to go to Toronto to make a horror film 681 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:25,510 with Guillermo del Toro... If you know him, 682 00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:27,990 the Mexican director who directed Pan's Labyrinth. 683 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,990 Who did one with Tilda Swinton as well just recently? That's correct. 684 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,870 There's a film called Only Lovers Left Alive, which is coming out 685 00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:38,350 in the UK, I think, on the 21st of February, and it's basically a love story. 686 00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:42,350 Tilda and I play a couple who are vampires, so... 687 00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:46,710 Oh, it's about a vampire film? It's a vampire film, but were vegetarians, we don't bite. 688 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,910 Vegetarian vampires. Vegetarian vampires. This I need to see. 689 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:53,870 We're much too classy for all that 15th-century nonsense. 690 00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:56,870 Now, I'm conscious of the time, cos I know that you are appearing 691 00:43:56,920 --> 00:44:00,150 on stage this evening... Mm-hm.....in Coriolanus. In Coriolanus, yes. 692 00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,070 Which calls for you at the end, I understand, 693 00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:04,790 to be strung upside down, bleeding profusely. 694 00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:07,190 That's how it goes down, yeah. 695 00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:09,310 Spoiler! Yeah. 696 00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:13,230 It is a 450-year-old text, so I think it's OK. 697 00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:16,070 Did it occur to you when you were driving around the track, 698 00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:19,190 if you had an accident, you could save the make-up? 699 00:44:19,240 --> 00:44:22,430 If I just roll the car, crash it... You could turn up... 700 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:27,830 And say, "I have my 27 wounds upon me." 27 wounds, blood gushing... 701 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:32,710 So, did you crash? I didn't trash, per se. 702 00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:36,310 Because, well, shall we have a look? Let's have a look. I'm very nervous. 703 00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:39,110 It was very wet out there. Who would like to see the lap? 704 00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:40,870 Yes! 705 00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:42,510 Let's have a look. Play the tape. 706 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:45,150 Three, two, one... 707 00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:47,510 Oh, I've stalled the BLEEP! 708 00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:48,790 No way! 709 00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:57,070 Oh, the shame! Yeah, you've got double first from Cambridge, have you not? 710 00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:01,110 In Classics? I did. I did. But you can't set off in a Vauxhall Astra? 711 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:04,910 Oh, dear. Anyway, let's see the finished product, shall we? 712 00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:07,400 When you actually set off. Right. Here we go. 713 00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:12,830 Ooh, that's a lot of clutch. 714 00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:17,400 Come on. Come on! BLEEP. Come on! 715 00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:21,200 God Almighty, that's wet. 716 00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:26,920 Doing well, though. 717 00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:33,270 Go, go, go. Go, go, go, take the bend hard, take the bend hard. 718 00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:34,830 Use the track. 719 00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,150 Yeah, use the track. Better. 720 00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,870 God, you've actually got that thing sliding. 721 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:43,750 Normally, it's got very good grip. Yeah, it was very puddly out there. 722 00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:47,230 ♪ I'm for ever driving in puddles. ♪ 723 00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:50,310 Right, could you see the lines at the Hammerhead? 724 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:53,750 Yeah, just about, cos it was very tight. Very difficult. Yeah. 725 00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:56,390 Hugh Bonneville was here last week. 726 00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,550 He said he couldn't see the lines cos it was so wet. 727 00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:03,400 It's weird in England... Yeah. ..to have two wet days(!) 728 00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:06,470 Floor it. 729 00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:08,070 You're not doing it flat. 730 00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:09,470 Come on! 731 00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:12,710 You are! No, you're not. 732 00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:15,870 I was going to say, that's ballsy on a day like today. 733 00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:17,750 Stupid but ballsy. 734 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:22,790 Right. Ooh, the tail coming out. You are very committed to this. 735 00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:27,630 There you go. Second to last corner. That's very nicely done. Gambon. 736 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:31,110 A bit safe, a bit safe? No, I disagree. 737 00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:35,000 There we are, across the line. 738 00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:43,350 Now, we've only ever had one wet lap, which was last week - Hugh Bonneville. 739 00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:45,830 So where do you think you've come, bearing that in mind? 740 00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:48,950 Oh, I'm a bit worried I haven't beaten Hugh. 741 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,870 It'd be nice to be somewhere around that, that area. 742 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:54,030 Right, somewhere around that... 743 00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:56,590 There's Ron Howard. He directed Rush. He did. 744 00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:58,590 Ron Howard - that was dry. 745 00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:00,710 He was just basically hopeless. 746 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,150 Hugh was 1.50.1. 747 00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:06,470 OK. And you, Tom Hiddleston, 748 00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:07,670 1... 749 00:47:07,720 --> 00:47:10,200 Which is good. That's good? OK. 750 00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:13,190 ..40... 751 00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:16,640 ..but only just. 752 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,590 ..9.9. 753 00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:21,470 Oh! There we go. 754 00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:23,480 Well... 755 00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:29,150 All right. Thank you. 756 00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:30,710 In the wet? 757 00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:32,390 Very wet. 758 00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:35,550 Thank you! I got a V. Special very wet. 759 00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,150 Well, I must let you go, which is a shame 760 00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,510 because I'm much enjoying all of this. 761 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:43,440 Ladies and gentlemen, Tom Hiddleston! Thank you. 762 00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:51,320 Now... 763 00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:59,550 ..this is the brand-new £866,000 McLaren P1, 764 00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:03,110 probably the most advanced and jaw-dropping car 765 00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:05,190 the world has ever seen. 766 00:48:05,240 --> 00:48:08,830 Hmm. The attention to detail in this thing boggles the mind. 767 00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:11,710 It is... It's almost science fiction. 768 00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:14,750 And so, there was only one place on Earth 769 00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,150 where I could test it properly. 770 00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,230 Belgium. 771 00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:35,040 This is Bruges. 772 00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:42,510 It's a quiet, friendly, cobbled sort of place. 773 00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:45,350 And it's just a stone's throw from Brussels, 774 00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:48,710 home to all the environmental EU law-makers. 775 00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:52,470 All of which makes it an ideal starting point 776 00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,520 for my test of the new McLaren. 777 00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:05,350 Because behind the front seats there are 324 laptop-style batteries 778 00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:11,000 which power a silent, polar-bear-friendly electric motor. 779 00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:16,670 This means that even the most frizzy-haired sandal enthusiast 780 00:49:16,720 --> 00:49:19,750 would welcome this car into their city centre. 781 00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:23,790 It's like that other two-seater electric car, the G-Wiz. 782 00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:27,280 It's Al Gore with a windscreen wiper. 783 00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:35,040 Do not think, however, that it has the get-up-and-go of Jabba the Hutt. 784 00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:39,030 Because the electric motor in this 785 00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:43,230 produces a whopping 176 horsepower. 786 00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:47,510 That's about what you get from a Volkswagen GTI. 787 00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:49,520 So it's pretty nippy. 788 00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:58,070 The only problem is, that after just six miles, 789 00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:00,230 the batteries will be flat. 790 00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:03,070 So you'll need to plug your car into the mains 791 00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:06,550 and sit about eating a chocolate shoe for two hours 792 00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:09,120 until they're charged up again. 793 00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,630 Or if this doesn't appeal, 794 00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:16,880 there is an alternative. 795 00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:22,070 Because, you see, the P1 is fitted as standard 796 00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:25,790 with an onboard petrol-powered generator. 797 00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:27,910 And it is quite a big one. 798 00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:32,550 In fact, it's a 3.8-litre twin-turbocharged 799 00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:36,150 722-horsepower V8. 800 00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,590 We push this button... 801 00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:41,070 There it is, firing up. 802 00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:43,190 And the great thing is, 803 00:50:43,240 --> 00:50:45,670 it's not just charging the batteries. 804 00:50:45,720 --> 00:50:49,270 It's also working alongside the electric motor 805 00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:51,200 to power the wheels. 806 00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:58,070 So the P1, then, is not like a G-Wiz at all, in any way. 807 00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:00,390 Thanks to that generator, 808 00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:03,510 you can take this out of a city centre 809 00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:05,680 and onto the open road. 810 00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:18,800 And that's another reason I've come to Belgium. 811 00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:23,280 Because there are so many roads to choose from. 812 00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:26,990 Belgium has three times as many roads 813 00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,990 and 50% more cars per square mile 814 00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:32,590 than we do in Britain. 815 00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:35,990 And the stats from this remarkable country 816 00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:38,000 just keep on coming. 817 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,990 There are so many miles of street-lit motorway here 818 00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:46,080 that Belgium is officially the brightest country on Earth. 819 00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:50,430 It's a little-known fact that Buzz Aldrin's first words 820 00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:52,670 when he set foot on the moon were, 821 00:51:52,720 --> 00:51:55,600 "Good God! You can see Belgium from up here!" 822 00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:59,000 I made that up. 823 00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:08,680 On the road I chose, there was rain. 824 00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:12,520 There was sunshine. 825 00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:16,230 There were clear stretches. 826 00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:18,670 And there were traffic jams. 827 00:52:18,720 --> 00:52:23,480 And the McLaren was quiet and comfortable through it all. 828 00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:29,880 But it was not what you'd call luxurious. 829 00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:36,080 It is, frankly, as well equipped as a pair of monk's underpants. 830 00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:45,350 And that's because, like the Alfa we saw earlier, 831 00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:49,240 this car was designed to be as fat as Iggy Pop. 832 00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:54,280 Inside, there's no glove box and no carpets. 833 00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:58,550 The glass is just 3.5mm thick, 834 00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:02,350 1.5mm thinner than the glass in normal cars, 835 00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:04,950 except in the back windows... 836 00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,390 where there's no glass at all. 837 00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:10,710 No lacquer is added to carbon-fibre trim 838 00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:13,270 to save 1.5kg. 839 00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:17,240 The whole chassis weighs less than James May. 840 00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:20,550 The trimmings are titanium, 841 00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:23,470 and the body is made from just five panels, 842 00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:26,790 which means less glue and fewer bolts are needed 843 00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:29,750 to hold it all together. 844 00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:33,790 All of this means that, despite the bank of batteries 845 00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:36,110 and the fact it has two engines, 846 00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:39,520 this car weighs less than a Vauxhall Astra. 847 00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:44,190 That, of course, makes it economical. 848 00:53:44,240 --> 00:53:45,990 And fast. 849 00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:47,680 Really fast. 850 00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:50,680 Mind-blowingly fast. 851 00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:07,240 Oh, my God! 852 00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:11,750 Ohhh! 853 00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:18,830 The speed, in fact, is the main reason 854 00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:20,990 I brought this car to Belgium. 855 00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:24,560 Because Belgium is home to this place. 856 00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:33,720 Spa - the longest, wildest racetrack on the F1 calendar. 857 00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:40,800 How can they make something go this fast?! 858 00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:47,310 OK. OK, let me just slow it down while I explain 859 00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:49,390 what's going on here. 860 00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,550 The electric motor and the big V8 generator 861 00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:54,630 are working together 862 00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:56,950 so that I have at my disposal 863 00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:00,320 903 brake horsepower. 864 00:55:03,360 --> 00:55:05,960 Ohh! 865 00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,790 Obviously, I've driven a Bugatti Veyron 866 00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:12,750 that has more than that, 867 00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:15,120 but a Bugatti Veyron... 868 00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:18,710 Oh! 869 00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:20,910 ..it has four-wheel drive 870 00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:23,870 and it weighs more than most mountains. 871 00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:26,470 This is rear-wheel drive, 872 00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,630 and the only significant weight comes from the air 873 00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:31,800 passing over the body. 874 00:55:35,640 --> 00:55:37,750 Flat in a Formula 1 car. 875 00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:39,720 Not flat in this. 876 00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:44,840 Oh, they should have called this the Widow-maker! 877 00:55:47,720 --> 00:55:50,510 The throttle is a hyperspace button. 878 00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:52,150 Step on it... 879 00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:54,120 and you're gone. 880 00:55:56,360 --> 00:56:00,350 And yet, somehow, even in this appalling weather, 881 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:02,870 it got round all of the corners 882 00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:04,830 without crashing once. 883 00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:06,840 So, how? 884 00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:17,880 Well, that's partly because it's made of stuff from the future. 885 00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:23,680 And partly because it's clever. 886 00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:29,800 It adapts. It moves around to suit its environment. 887 00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:35,230 As the speed climbs, the rear wing rises 888 00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:37,190 to generate more downforce, 889 00:56:37,240 --> 00:56:40,150 but as you go past 156mph, 890 00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:43,310 it starts to go back down a little bit, 891 00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:46,550 otherwise the weight of the air passing over it 892 00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:49,630 would be so enormous it would break the suspension. 893 00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:53,470 Then you have the exhaust, which works with the rear diffuser 894 00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:56,030 to generate an area of low pressure 895 00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:59,550 into which the back of the car is sucked. 896 00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:03,270 The wheels are made from military-grade aluminium. 897 00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,950 The brake discs from a material that's only ever been used 898 00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:09,150 in the Arianespace programme. 899 00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:12,310 And they're coated with something called silicon carbide. 900 00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:15,790 Apparently it's the hardest substance known to man. 901 00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:18,350 Apart from dried Weetabix, obviously. 902 00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,310 And then, the whole thing 903 00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:25,720 sits on four tyres that were designed and made by Pirelli. 904 00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:31,240 All of this means you really have the confidence to open it up. 905 00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:43,070 This thing goes from 0 to 160mph 906 00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:46,870 faster than a Golf goes from 0 to 60. 907 00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:50,070 130, 140, 150, 908 00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:53,750 160, 170, 180, 190... 909 00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:56,280 Bloody hellfire! 910 00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:02,430 And as you hurtle round in a puddle of your own faeces, 911 00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:04,670 girning like an infant, 912 00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:08,640 the car is working on ways of going even faster. 913 00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:15,720 Let me give you an example. 914 00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:20,590 The electric motor is used 915 00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:24,070 to fill in the little gaps when the petrol engine 916 00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:26,830 isn't working at its best, like, for example, 917 00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:29,550 during gear changes 918 00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:33,040 or while the massive turbos are spooling up. 919 00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:38,190 And what I find hysterical about that is that McLaren 920 00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:40,670 has taken this hybrid technology, 921 00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:43,790 which is designed to reduce the impact 922 00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:46,190 of the internal combustion engine 923 00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:50,030 and is using it to increase the impact. 924 00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:53,310 That's like weaponising a wind farm. 925 00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:58,000 Or buying the Rainbow Warrior and turning it into an oil tanker. 926 00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:08,470 For years, cars have all been basically the same 927 00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:11,030 but this really isn't. 928 00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:14,510 It's a game-changer. A genuinely new chapter 929 00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,520 in the history of motoring. 930 00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:22,310 In a town, it's as eco friendly as a health-food shop. 931 00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:26,270 On a motorway, it's comfortable and produces no more carbon dioxide 932 00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:28,350 than a family saloon. 933 00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:31,750 And on a track, it can rip a hole through time. 934 00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:35,910 And it's all been achieved using something that's been around 935 00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:40,080 for centuries - brilliant British engineering. 936 00:59:41,760 --> 00:59:44,630 You could argue that it doesn't have 937 00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:46,990 the passion or the flair of a Ferrari, 938 00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:49,710 and I'd probably agree with you. 939 00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:52,230 But look at it this way. 940 00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:56,030 It was passion and flair that built the Leaning Tower of Pisa, 941 00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:59,070 and it was British engineering 942 00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:03,680 that built the plumb-dead-straight Westminster Abbey. 943 01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:39,710 Hair on end. 944 01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:43,150 Great, but weren't we supposed to test that against the hybrids 945 01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:46,270 that Porsche and Ferrari are developing? The Ferrari isn't ready. 946 01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:49,150 The Porsche is. It wasn't when I filmed that. But it is now. 947 01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:52,670 I shall be driving it on the show in a few weeks' time. Yes. 948 01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:55,590 And after you've done that, we're going to put the Stig 949 01:00:55,640 --> 01:00:58,950 in both of them and do some time laps around our track. 950 01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:02,110 Now, that should be quite something, I think. 951 01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:04,750 I don't think it will be. Hey? Why not? 952 01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:07,550 Well, because... Were you not listening the film? Yeah. 953 01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:10,510 The speed of this is beyond anything I've ever experienced. 954 01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:13,390 It's animal savagery. It's beyond belief. 955 01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:16,830 Yes, yes, yes, but the Porsche might be faster. It won't be. 956 01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:19,190 But it might be. No, but it won't be. 957 01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:21,350 But...it might be. 958 01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:23,870 I guarantee it won't be. But it might be. 959 01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:26,590 Hammond, I'll do you a deal. 960 01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:30,470 If the Porsche is faster round our track than this, 961 01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:34,070 I will change my name, by deed poll, 962 01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:36,150 to Jennifer. 963 01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:38,070 Really? Yes. 964 01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:39,630 Promise? Yes. 965 01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:43,910 And on that potential bombshell, it is time to end. 966 01:01:43,960 --> 01:01:48,080 Thank you so much for watching. See you next week. Good night!