1
00:00:01,406 --> 00:00:02,773
- Man, this is gonna be fun!
- Ah, come on!
2
00:00:02,807 --> 00:00:04,174
Get it close to the light.
3
00:00:04,209 --> 00:00:05,876
Okay, just because
you invented Sky Knife
4
00:00:05,910 --> 00:00:07,911
doesn't mean you can
tell me how to throw.
5
00:00:07,946 --> 00:00:09,613
Hurry up, man.
You can do this.
6
00:00:09,647 --> 00:00:11,281
One, two, three.
7
00:00:11,316 --> 00:00:12,082
All: Sky Knife!
8
00:00:12,117 --> 00:00:13,384
(cheering)
9
00:00:13,418 --> 00:00:14,585
Yeah!
10
00:00:14,619 --> 00:00:15,886
What's up?
11
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:17,020
Oh, hey. What's up?
Nothing, just a...
12
00:00:17,055 --> 00:00:18,122
Hey, uh, straight-up chillin'.
13
00:00:18,156 --> 00:00:20,424
(indistinct chatter)
Jess: You guys,
14
00:00:20,458 --> 00:00:22,764
it's a really long story,
but I think I saw an eagle.
15
00:00:22,944 --> 00:00:24,828
I was shopping for books on Western...
16
00:00:24,863 --> 00:00:26,163
Oh, my God!
(all exclaim)
17
00:00:26,197 --> 00:00:27,631
- Oh!
- Oh!
18
00:00:27,665 --> 00:00:29,066
Oh, God, what the hell?
19
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:30,601
You were in the drop zone.
20
00:00:30,635 --> 00:00:32,336
- Good save, Nick.
- You were a hero!
21
00:00:32,370 --> 00:00:33,504
Good save.
22
00:00:33,538 --> 00:00:35,472
We were playing Sky Knife.
You mad?
23
00:00:35,507 --> 00:00:36,473
No.
24
00:00:36,508 --> 00:00:38,909
No. I... I think it's been
a great game this week.
25
00:00:38,943 --> 00:00:40,811
I'm amazed at how great it is.
26
00:00:40,845 --> 00:00:42,780
Uh! Awesome! I thought you were
gonna be mad. All right.
27
00:00:42,814 --> 00:00:45,582
I'm gonna go get the bad-ass
knives from Schmidt's house.
28
00:00:45,617 --> 00:00:46,950
- Cool.
- Get 'em, girl.
29
00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:51,088
Um, guys, we have a problem.
30
00:00:51,122 --> 00:00:52,456
I know, but Abby's gonna fix it.
31
00:00:52,490 --> 00:00:53,691
She's going to get the cooler knives.
32
00:00:53,725 --> 00:00:55,492
The problem is Abby.
33
00:00:55,527 --> 00:00:57,261
She's been here one week
34
00:00:57,295 --> 00:00:59,930
and has already created chaos
everywhere.
35
00:00:59,964 --> 00:01:02,166
I don't know if anybody noticed,
36
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,767
but she destroyed
my sunflower painting
37
00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:05,969
- with a picture of a penis.
- The iguana's cool.
38
00:01:06,004 --> 00:01:07,604
- I like the iguana.
- Who doesn't love an iguana?
39
00:01:07,639 --> 00:01:09,506
- I like its tail.
- Yeah.
40
00:01:11,076 --> 00:01:12,643
Oh, my God, you guys, it's Terry.
41
00:01:12,677 --> 00:01:14,244
The bastard found me.
He wants his stuff.
42
00:01:14,279 --> 00:01:16,480
Who's Terry?! What's his stuff?!
Cocaine drugs?!
43
00:01:16,514 --> 00:01:17,748
Worse.
44
00:01:17,782 --> 00:01:19,450
You guys got to hide.
45
00:01:19,484 --> 00:01:21,185
Oh, my God, I knew
this was gonna happen.
46
00:01:21,219 --> 00:01:23,587
- Everybody in your earthquake spots now!
- Jess!
47
00:01:23,621 --> 00:01:25,055
(laughter)
48
00:01:25,090 --> 00:01:26,523
She's messing with you.
49
00:01:26,558 --> 00:01:28,892
(laughter)
50
00:01:28,927 --> 00:01:30,361
Yeah, I know.
51
00:01:30,395 --> 00:01:32,696
We are messing with you.
52
00:01:32,731 --> 00:01:34,292
- No.
- I don't think you were involved.
53
00:01:34,472 --> 00:01:35,866
- Don't taunt you, dude.
- You guys were all afraid of Terry.
54
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:38,302
Us Day sisters up to our old pranks.
55
00:01:38,336 --> 00:01:40,070
- You're not part of it.
- (in high-pitched voice): Yes, I am!
56
00:01:40,105 --> 00:01:42,840
- You got messed with.
- You got messed with, not me.
57
00:01:42,874 --> 00:01:44,331
You're doing that voice
when you get messed with.
58
00:01:44,351 --> 00:01:46,337
- No, I'm not.
- You guys, this is so fun.
59
00:01:46,347 --> 00:01:49,179
- I want to live here.
- (fake laughing): Ah, ha, ha!
60
00:01:49,214 --> 00:01:51,849
That was funny, 'cause
we're messing with you again.
61
00:01:51,883 --> 00:01:53,650
No. I'm serious.
That one was real.
62
00:01:53,685 --> 00:01:55,185
I think I should live here.
63
00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:56,720
I hate this game.
64
00:01:56,755 --> 00:01:58,722
(all exclaiming)
65
00:01:58,757 --> 00:02:01,992
♪ Hey, girl ♪
66
00:02:02,027 --> 00:02:03,660
♪ What you doing? ♪
67
00:02:03,695 --> 00:02:07,031
♪ Hey, girl ♪
68
00:02:07,065 --> 00:02:09,833
♪ Where you going? ♪
69
00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:12,436
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
70
00:02:12,470 --> 00:02:13,804
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
71
00:02:13,838 --> 00:02:15,005
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
72
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:16,081
♪ It's Jess. ♪
73
00:02:16,273 --> 00:02:20,465
Synced and corrected by backinblack
www.addic7ed.com
74
00:02:23,748 --> 00:02:26,383
- You looking up how to eat a bagel?
- (laughs)
75
00:02:26,418 --> 00:02:29,720
No. I'm, uh, seeing if I passed
the LAPD entrance exam.
76
00:02:29,754 --> 00:02:32,222
Results go up in 30 seconds.
77
00:02:32,257 --> 00:02:34,058
If you pass, you get to be a cop?
78
00:02:34,092 --> 00:02:35,859
No, I get to go to the
police academy, you know?
79
00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:38,395
Hope I get a dog partner.
80
00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:39,930
Yeah.
Oh, you are pretty calm
81
00:02:39,964 --> 00:02:41,532
for someone who's about
to get life-changing news.
82
00:02:41,566 --> 00:02:43,434
You must be really cool
under pressure.
83
00:02:43,468 --> 00:02:45,669
No! I'm a huge choker.
84
00:02:45,704 --> 00:02:47,604
Huge! (laughs)
85
00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:49,473
Girl, I ain't had a job
in over three months.
86
00:02:49,507 --> 00:02:51,909
So, this is...
that moment, I guess,
87
00:02:51,943 --> 00:02:56,046
when you find out if
you're really a failure or not.
88
00:02:56,081 --> 00:02:58,615
Check it.
Excitement's killing me!
89
00:02:58,650 --> 00:03:01,051
Man, would you look
at the... time?
90
00:03:01,086 --> 00:03:03,587
Man. Girl, I got an obligation
91
00:03:03,621 --> 00:03:07,257
at a sandwich meeting...
to... to go to.
92
00:03:10,161 --> 00:03:13,664
Yes...
93
00:03:13,698 --> 00:03:17,334
Nick (in dramatic voice): Well, you see,
loyalty has a price, Mr. President.
94
00:03:17,369 --> 00:03:18,969
Give me the hot dogs!
95
00:03:19,004 --> 00:03:23,407
Put the damn hot dogs in the bag,
you son of a bitch, and I won't...
96
00:03:23,441 --> 00:03:26,610
Oh, my God. What are we gonna
do? She can't move in to...
97
00:03:26,644 --> 00:03:28,345
Take that off.
98
00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:30,781
- I hope those are clean.
- Enough.
99
00:03:30,815 --> 00:03:32,182
I don't want to be involved
100
00:03:32,217 --> 00:03:33,517
with your weird thing with your sister.
101
00:03:33,551 --> 00:03:36,020
It's not a weird thing with my sister.
102
00:03:36,054 --> 00:03:37,454
She is crazy.
103
00:03:37,489 --> 00:03:39,289
- No.
- She's wanted in Canada.
104
00:03:39,324 --> 00:03:42,793
Canada. No one's wanted
in Canada.
105
00:03:42,827 --> 00:03:45,029
Hey, uh, you guys want to
hang out, like, right now?
106
00:03:45,063 --> 00:03:48,265
Maybe go up to Alhambra, try
on a whole mess of jeans?
107
00:03:48,299 --> 00:03:49,833
Don't you find out about
that cop test today?
108
00:03:49,868 --> 00:03:52,803
Oh, you know... Oh, yeah. No.
109
00:03:52,837 --> 00:03:54,705
Look, man, the Alhambra
thing, though...
110
00:03:54,739 --> 00:03:56,473
it's getting a lot of momentum,
you know?
111
00:03:56,508 --> 00:03:58,175
So I think I'm gonna go ahead
and do that
112
00:03:58,209 --> 00:04:00,511
'cause when you... you know,
when you do that, so...
113
00:04:00,545 --> 00:04:03,947
Okay, I'm gonna guarantee you
that Abby is responsible for that.
114
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:05,449
Winston: Yeah, she got to me.
115
00:04:05,483 --> 00:04:06,873
If you don't want
Abby to live here, Jessica,
116
00:04:07,041 --> 00:04:08,018
why don't you just tell her?
117
00:04:08,053 --> 00:04:09,820
Nick, you can't just
118
00:04:09,854 --> 00:04:11,789
tell Abby to do something,
'cause she'll do the opposite.
119
00:04:11,823 --> 00:04:13,957
So I'm gonna have to go find
a place for her to live
120
00:04:13,992 --> 00:04:15,960
and make her think it's her idea.
121
00:04:15,994 --> 00:04:17,695
She can't find out
what I'm up to.
122
00:04:17,729 --> 00:04:20,364
Do you think you can keep her
busy and lie to her all day?
123
00:04:20,398 --> 00:04:23,233
Jess, I come from a family
of con artists and liars.
124
00:04:23,268 --> 00:04:26,470
And the one thing I learned
is, you can't lie to a liar.
125
00:04:26,504 --> 00:04:28,205
It don't fly.
126
00:04:28,239 --> 00:04:29,673
Yeah, you shouldn't be involved.
127
00:04:29,708 --> 00:04:31,642
No, I shouldn't.
128
00:04:31,676 --> 00:04:33,043
Wait a second.
129
00:04:33,078 --> 00:04:35,546
Are you doing reverse psychology?
130
00:04:35,580 --> 00:04:37,136
Yeah, it is reverse psychology.
131
00:04:37,302 --> 00:04:39,465
That is reverse psychology,
so you just reversed it,
132
00:04:39,484 --> 00:04:42,319
so now it's reverse, reverse,
which is just psychology.
133
00:04:42,354 --> 00:04:44,521
Hmm, which one is it?
134
00:04:44,556 --> 00:04:45,990
You outfoxed me. I'm in.
135
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:47,858
I'm gonna do it.
136
00:04:47,892 --> 00:04:52,396
So, our time is up, but, um,
I don't have any more clients,
137
00:04:52,430 --> 00:04:53,831
so, uh...
Oh.
138
00:04:53,865 --> 00:04:55,299
You brought it with that less set, ma.
139
00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:57,701
I got to tell you. I mean,
what can't that butt do?
140
00:04:57,736 --> 00:05:00,371
- You shaped it, so you get dibs.
- Mmm.
141
00:05:00,405 --> 00:05:01,538
Dibs.
142
00:05:01,573 --> 00:05:03,273
(laughter)
143
00:05:03,308 --> 00:05:05,843
Can I get dibs? Because
both y'all butts look great.
144
00:05:05,877 --> 00:05:08,112
I mean, I can't tell
who's in first place.
145
00:05:08,146 --> 00:05:10,347
Hey, uh, Coach, you know
how you're always
146
00:05:10,382 --> 00:05:11,882
getting on me about my pizza baby?
147
00:05:11,916 --> 00:05:13,684
- Yeah.
- Well, today is the day
148
00:05:13,718 --> 00:05:15,019
that I get rid of it.
149
00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:17,788
- I am here to train.
- Save it, dude.
150
00:05:17,822 --> 00:05:20,357
You're avoiding your test
results. Nick texted me.
151
00:05:20,392 --> 00:05:22,026
Guess you can't outrun a text.
152
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:24,261
- Nope.
- Well, with the right amount of training...
153
00:05:24,296 --> 00:05:26,697
All right, listen to me.
Um, I need you to leave.
154
00:05:26,731 --> 00:05:27,631
I'm with a client.
155
00:05:27,666 --> 00:05:29,300
A beautiful one.
156
00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:30,701
I'm trying to, you know...
157
00:05:30,735 --> 00:05:32,436
- Mm.
- (whistles)
158
00:05:32,470 --> 00:05:34,705
You're trying to whistle.
159
00:05:34,739 --> 00:05:36,507
No, no, no, no, no, I'm
trying to have sex with her.
160
00:05:36,541 --> 00:05:38,709
Oh! Sex.
161
00:05:38,743 --> 00:05:42,146
But I did book you for
the entire afternoon, though.
162
00:05:42,180 --> 00:05:43,914
(groans)
163
00:05:43,948 --> 00:05:45,082
- Why would you do that?
- But...
164
00:05:45,116 --> 00:05:47,804
if you guys are doing a little thing,
then I could easily just...
165
00:05:47,844 --> 00:05:49,386
- Leave and check your test scores?
- ...do a tandem session.
166
00:05:49,421 --> 00:05:50,754
- Oh, fun.
- Right?
167
00:05:50,789 --> 00:05:52,189
Coach, you should show him
168
00:05:52,223 --> 00:05:53,757
that ground stretch
you did on me earlier.
169
00:05:53,792 --> 00:05:56,460
It was opening me
up really nicely.
170
00:05:56,494 --> 00:05:57,628
Yes, please. (laughs)
171
00:05:57,662 --> 00:05:59,463
I don't wanna.
172
00:05:59,497 --> 00:06:01,131
(grunts)
173
00:06:01,166 --> 00:06:02,232
Oh.
174
00:06:05,170 --> 00:06:06,904
(sighs)
175
00:06:06,938 --> 00:06:08,272
(Winston grunts)
176
00:06:08,306 --> 00:06:09,273
This is amazing.
177
00:06:09,307 --> 00:06:10,641
Oh!
178
00:06:10,675 --> 00:06:13,110
I'm taking a little trip here, Coach.
179
00:06:13,144 --> 00:06:14,511
You know where I'm going.
180
00:06:14,546 --> 00:06:16,180
Why do I keep looking down?
181
00:06:16,214 --> 00:06:17,481
I don't know.
182
00:06:17,515 --> 00:06:22,753
This museum is my favorite place
in Los Angeles.
183
00:06:22,787 --> 00:06:24,588
Um...
come on, Nick.
184
00:06:24,623 --> 00:06:26,590
Jess is making you babysit me, right?
185
00:06:26,625 --> 00:06:28,325
Babysit you?
186
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:29,827
(laughing): What?
187
00:06:29,861 --> 00:06:31,128
Like you're a little baby?
188
00:06:31,162 --> 00:06:33,564
No.
189
00:06:33,598 --> 00:06:35,232
- That's how you want to play this?
- Well, I'm not "playing" it.
190
00:06:35,266 --> 00:06:37,601
- Oh.
- Hey, hey, hey. What are you doing?
191
00:06:37,636 --> 00:06:39,003
- I just want to touch it.
- Don't touch it.
192
00:06:39,037 --> 00:06:40,270
- I just need to touch it.
- But it's not for touching.
193
00:06:40,305 --> 00:06:41,438
- (inhales)
- Hey, hey!
194
00:06:41,473 --> 00:06:42,640
What? Can I not jump on it?
195
00:06:42,674 --> 00:06:43,774
- Abby.
- That's not allowed?
196
00:06:43,808 --> 00:06:46,710
- Abby!
- Maybe I shouldn't climb all over the car.
197
00:06:46,745 --> 00:06:48,312
You need to get off of that car.
198
00:06:48,346 --> 00:06:50,614
Why don't you tell me
what it is Jess is up to?
199
00:06:50,649 --> 00:06:52,216
Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am,
200
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:53,951
you're scratching the hood!
201
00:06:53,985 --> 00:06:55,619
Tell me what I want to know.
202
00:06:55,654 --> 00:06:57,388
- Get off there right now.
- There's nothing to tell!
203
00:06:57,422 --> 00:06:58,822
- Tell me what I want to know.
- There's nothing to tell!
204
00:06:58,857 --> 00:07:00,658
- Tell me what she's doing!
- Get her off!
205
00:07:00,692 --> 00:07:02,393
- If I tell you, will you get off the car?
- Yes.
206
00:07:02,427 --> 00:07:03,394
- You promise?
- Yes.
207
00:07:03,428 --> 00:07:05,223
She's looking
for a safe apartment for you
208
00:07:05,303 --> 00:07:06,930
'cause she doesn't
want you to live with us!
209
00:07:09,367 --> 00:07:10,934
Now, would you please
get off the car?
210
00:07:10,969 --> 00:07:14,004
Do you guys serve drinks here?
211
00:07:14,039 --> 00:07:17,508
(sighs)
Why don't they give us Tasers?
212
00:07:23,487 --> 00:07:24,812
Wow. I mean, this place is beautiful.
213
00:07:24,968 --> 00:07:28,625
It makes the other nine places
we've seen today just kind of fade away.
214
00:07:28,659 --> 00:07:30,860
Yeah, um, tell me
about the neighborhood.
215
00:07:30,895 --> 00:07:32,729
Is there a lot of nightlife?
216
00:07:32,763 --> 00:07:35,165
Well, this part of town is pretty quiet.
217
00:07:35,199 --> 00:07:37,500
Unless you count church bells.
Which you should.
218
00:07:37,535 --> 00:07:39,669
We have nine
within hearing distance.
219
00:07:39,703 --> 00:07:41,671
What about the other tenants?
Are there single men
220
00:07:41,705 --> 00:07:45,341
between 18 and 65?
Actually, make that 16 and 72.
221
00:07:45,376 --> 00:07:46,976
Most of the other tenants are
222
00:07:47,011 --> 00:07:49,712
middle-aged gay veterans
like myself.
223
00:07:49,747 --> 00:07:52,515
Oh. Whoa. Jackpot.
224
00:07:52,550 --> 00:07:55,151
And if the demons come calling,
there's an emergency room
225
00:07:55,186 --> 00:07:56,553
right across the street.
226
00:07:56,587 --> 00:07:58,021
You had me at "gay veterans."
227
00:07:58,055 --> 00:07:59,989
And then again at "emergency room."
228
00:08:00,024 --> 00:08:02,158
And before that at "church."
229
00:08:02,193 --> 00:08:05,595
I wish I could just travel back
in time and tell 19-year-old me
230
00:08:05,629 --> 00:08:07,697
to move into a place like this.
231
00:08:07,731 --> 00:08:10,600
Maybe I would've settled down.
Met a, you know, nice guy.
232
00:08:10,634 --> 00:08:14,070
Nothing flashy. Works in a bank,
makes a great veggie lasagna.
233
00:08:14,104 --> 00:08:16,072
- Okay, not now, Cece.
- No, don't stop her.
234
00:08:16,106 --> 00:08:18,308
Who is this guy?
235
00:08:18,342 --> 00:08:19,843
(laughs)
Right?
236
00:08:19,877 --> 00:08:21,077
(sighs)
237
00:08:21,111 --> 00:08:23,079
Bet you are a mean dancer.
238
00:08:23,113 --> 00:08:25,114
Come on. Live a little.
239
00:08:25,149 --> 00:08:26,516
You were right to call me.
240
00:08:26,550 --> 00:08:28,585
Nobody deals with crazy
girls better than I do.
241
00:08:28,619 --> 00:08:30,587
Crazy girls are kind of my Hurt Locker.
242
00:08:30,621 --> 00:08:32,355
- You know what I mean, Nick?
- Okay. Yeah.
243
00:08:32,389 --> 00:08:35,091
Some-some men, they can
just walk away. Not me.
244
00:08:35,126 --> 00:08:36,793
- I just keep coming back.
- Okay, are you gonna help me
245
00:08:36,827 --> 00:08:37,924
- get her off the car?
- Mmm.
246
00:08:38,096 --> 00:08:39,257
- You know what this is, Nick?
- What?
247
00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:41,106
- This is nonsense.
- Exactly.
248
00:08:41,245 --> 00:08:42,116
And how do we deal with nonsense?
249
00:08:42,832 --> 00:08:46,436
No, no. We just don't stand
for it is what we do.
250
00:08:46,470 --> 00:08:47,704
Security is on the way.
251
00:08:47,738 --> 00:08:50,640
Come on, you old bird. Get up here.
252
00:08:50,674 --> 00:08:52,308
I can't afford it.
253
00:08:52,343 --> 00:08:54,978
I'm already the staff troublemaker.
254
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,514
- Can you make it happen?
- I'm thinking.
255
00:08:59,583 --> 00:09:03,153
Where are you at right... Like,
is it kind of game... Yeah.
256
00:09:03,187 --> 00:09:05,755
Just shh.
257
00:09:07,391 --> 00:09:09,259
- I got it.
- You do?
258
00:09:09,293 --> 00:09:12,195
Yeah. No nonsense.
259
00:09:13,597 --> 00:09:15,565
Hey, Abby, look at me.
260
00:09:15,599 --> 00:09:17,400
Let's go get a taco.
261
00:09:17,434 --> 00:09:18,768
Okay.
262
00:09:18,803 --> 00:09:20,069
- You got to be kidding.
- There you go. Thank you.
263
00:09:20,104 --> 00:09:21,571
There you go. Perfect.
264
00:09:21,605 --> 00:09:24,440
Hey, you're not gonna tell Jess
I told you about the apartment, right?
265
00:09:24,475 --> 00:09:26,470
Hmm, I don't know.
Maybe. We'll see.
266
00:09:26,672 --> 00:09:27,517
It'd be cool if you... 'Cause...
267
00:09:27,681 --> 00:09:28,766
Why don't you straighten
things up with the museum?
268
00:09:29,447 --> 00:09:32,148
Thank you. I appreciate that.
It's only ten dollars!
269
00:09:32,183 --> 00:09:34,184
That's not gonna...
It's ten dollars!
270
00:09:34,218 --> 00:09:36,486
You snakes.
271
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,021
Coach: Follow through.
272
00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:39,189
Yeah, all right.
273
00:09:39,223 --> 00:09:40,523
Or else that creepy guy at the bar
274
00:09:40,558 --> 00:09:41,858
isn't gonna take his
hand off your thigh.
275
00:09:41,892 --> 00:09:43,126
Hands off my thigh, dude!
276
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,427
(grunts, groans)
277
00:09:44,462 --> 00:09:47,130
Hands off my thigh, dude.
278
00:09:47,164 --> 00:09:48,898
(groans)
279
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:51,501
What are you doing, dude?
280
00:09:51,535 --> 00:09:53,036
Stop stalling. Check your score.
281
00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:54,971
I'm not stalling.
(groans)
282
00:09:55,005 --> 00:09:56,639
I'm gonna have Anders
work my core
283
00:09:56,674 --> 00:09:58,842
and maybe just go get some juice
with him.
284
00:09:58,876 --> 00:10:01,544
- No, um. No, I-I want juice. I'm...
- Hey, I bought your time.
285
00:10:01,579 --> 00:10:02,946
I do whatever I want with it.
286
00:10:02,980 --> 00:10:04,414
(groans)
Go check your score!
287
00:10:04,448 --> 00:10:06,216
Hey, what are you doing?
288
00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:07,884
- No. Wait, what are you doing, dude?!
- I'm checking it myself!
289
00:10:07,918 --> 00:10:10,153
No! Come on, man!
290
00:10:10,187 --> 00:10:12,055
I said no, dude.
291
00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:15,158
No. W...
292
00:10:15,192 --> 00:10:16,659
What?
293
00:10:17,661 --> 00:10:19,395
You failed.
294
00:10:20,264 --> 00:10:22,332
(chuckles)
295
00:10:22,366 --> 00:10:24,400
I didn't even...
296
00:10:24,435 --> 00:10:28,505
You know, it's not even a...
297
00:10:28,539 --> 00:10:31,307
Yeah, it's not a big deal, so...
298
00:10:31,342 --> 00:10:33,643
You know, so...
299
00:10:33,677 --> 00:10:36,346
You should probably put
a passcode on your phone, dude.
300
00:10:39,917 --> 00:10:41,384
Hey, Schmidt!
301
00:10:41,418 --> 00:10:43,319
Hey, Schmidt.
Have you seen Abby?
302
00:10:43,354 --> 00:10:45,155
Huh?
(sultry piano music playing)
303
00:10:45,189 --> 00:10:47,757
What... are you...
what are you doing?
304
00:10:47,792 --> 00:10:50,193
I'm melting chocolate.
305
00:10:52,863 --> 00:10:54,497
Abby and I are having sex.
306
00:10:54,532 --> 00:10:56,466
(whispers): What happened
to no nonsense, Schmidt?
307
00:10:58,002 --> 00:11:01,037
I've really changed my tune
on nonsense, Nick.
308
00:11:01,071 --> 00:11:02,272
You know, for the life of me,
309
00:11:02,306 --> 00:11:05,041
I could not understand the grasp
that Jess had on you,
310
00:11:05,075 --> 00:11:07,177
but if she came from the same
gene pool as this one...
311
00:11:07,211 --> 00:11:08,545
(chuckles)
kudos, my friend.
312
00:11:08,579 --> 00:11:10,547
Even if it's a tenth of what
I just experienced.
313
00:11:10,581 --> 00:11:14,217
Even if it'sa DeVito/Schwarzenegger
split from Twins.
314
00:11:14,251 --> 00:11:15,752
You calling Jess the DeVito?
315
00:11:15,786 --> 00:11:18,154
- What?
- Abby, I was supposed to be watching you.
316
00:11:18,189 --> 00:11:20,690
- Go ahead.
- Don't... don't play tricks with my words.
317
00:11:20,724 --> 00:11:23,059
Jess is gonna kill me. She's gonna say
my name in that short, clipped way
318
00:11:23,093 --> 00:11:24,961
- where she doesn't add the "K."
- What?
319
00:11:24,995 --> 00:11:26,896
When she's mad, she just says "Nic."
320
00:11:26,931 --> 00:11:29,866
Do you really think that the "K"
adds to the sound of your name?
321
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,601
- Yes.
- How do you usually say your name?
322
00:11:31,635 --> 00:11:33,069
- Nick.
- Say it without the "K."
323
00:11:33,104 --> 00:11:34,804
- Nic.
- It's the same thing.
324
00:11:34,839 --> 00:11:36,306
Stop distracting me!
325
00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:37,707
Nick, you're so worried
about disappointing Jess.
326
00:11:37,741 --> 00:11:39,275
Relax, man.
327
00:11:39,310 --> 00:11:41,744
(ding)
Okay, you got to get out of here.
328
00:11:45,483 --> 00:11:46,916
(grunts)
(moans)
329
00:11:47,751 --> 00:11:48,885
(grunts)
(giggles)
330
00:11:48,919 --> 00:11:50,920
Oh...
331
00:11:54,686 --> 00:11:56,687
I choked.
332
00:11:56,721 --> 00:11:59,690
I choked, man. I'm 31.
I have nothing figured out.
333
00:11:59,724 --> 00:12:01,692
Can I not find a job?
334
00:12:01,726 --> 00:12:05,362
- I mean, I feel like I'm losing it.
- Dude, they're hiring here.
335
00:12:05,396 --> 00:12:06,897
You know I can't work here, man.
336
00:12:06,931 --> 00:12:08,165
They never have any cookies.
337
00:12:08,199 --> 00:12:09,166
It's all the better, man!
338
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,167
There's no pressure.
339
00:12:10,201 --> 00:12:11,769
You get this job and then
340
00:12:11,803 --> 00:12:13,070
when you're ready, you
try the cop thing again.
341
00:12:13,104 --> 00:12:14,738
Okay.
342
00:12:14,773 --> 00:12:16,673
- See?
- Yeah.
343
00:12:16,708 --> 00:12:18,242
But now I'm sitting here thinking
344
00:12:18,276 --> 00:12:19,543
about how badly I need this job.
345
00:12:19,577 --> 00:12:21,378
- Stop!
- I need this job real bad...
346
00:12:21,412 --> 00:12:22,780
Excuse me, um, could we get
347
00:12:22,814 --> 00:12:23,914
a job application over here, please?
348
00:12:23,948 --> 00:12:26,784
In a way, I have a lot more
riding on this job
349
00:12:26,818 --> 00:12:28,185
than I do the cop thing.
350
00:12:28,219 --> 00:12:30,354
God, I'd love to work here!
351
00:12:32,090 --> 00:12:33,724
Jess: I got the apartment!
352
00:12:33,758 --> 00:12:36,059
The place is great.
The only thing I'm
353
00:12:36,094 --> 00:12:38,028
a little worried about is there
is a Russian grocery store
354
00:12:38,062 --> 00:12:39,930
down the block and Abby has
a little bit of a weird thing
355
00:12:39,964 --> 00:12:41,698
with ethnic white people.
356
00:12:41,733 --> 00:12:44,201
But I think she could
really thrive there!
357
00:12:44,235 --> 00:12:45,636
Where is she?
358
00:12:45,670 --> 00:12:47,204
- Where's who?
- Abby.
359
00:12:47,238 --> 00:12:49,139
Ab...? Oh, she's sleeping.
360
00:12:49,174 --> 00:12:50,240
By herself.
361
00:12:50,275 --> 00:12:52,609
Which is called "napping."
362
00:12:52,644 --> 00:12:54,945
Okay, I'm gonna start secretly
packing up some of her stuff.
363
00:12:54,979 --> 00:12:56,713
Do you think you can
keep distracting her?
364
00:12:56,748 --> 00:12:58,482
- Yes, yeah, you know, just...
- Good.
365
00:12:58,516 --> 00:12:59,950
how do we distract her?
366
00:12:59,984 --> 00:13:01,985
How do you distract a woman like that?
367
00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:03,387
Probably a guy.
368
00:13:03,421 --> 00:13:04,488
(laughs): Right?
369
00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:05,923
Who can we set her up with?
370
00:13:05,957 --> 00:13:08,459
Well, well, well,
who do we have?
371
00:13:08,493 --> 00:13:10,127
Coach. (laughs) No.
372
00:13:10,161 --> 00:13:11,962
Winston...
373
00:13:11,996 --> 00:13:13,230
That's actually kind of a good idea...
374
00:13:13,264 --> 00:13:14,598
No!
375
00:13:14,632 --> 00:13:17,301
- Schmidt!
- That's a terrible idea.
376
00:13:17,335 --> 00:13:19,670
But in the same sense...
377
00:13:19,704 --> 00:13:21,271
Abby will wreck Schmidt!
378
00:13:21,306 --> 00:13:23,741
- Well, then luckily, the...
- So, here's the plan.
379
00:13:23,775 --> 00:13:24,808
We're gonna have
a nice dinner, we're gonna
380
00:13:24,843 --> 00:13:26,276
get her buzzed but not drunk.
381
00:13:26,311 --> 00:13:28,746
And then we're gonna
casually and naturally
382
00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:29,947
bring up the apartment
383
00:13:29,981 --> 00:13:32,416
so she thinks it's her idea.
384
00:13:32,450 --> 00:13:34,118
- And I can do that, okay?
- Okay, good.
385
00:13:34,152 --> 00:13:36,587
- I'm glad.
- I'll act cool, natural.
386
00:13:36,621 --> 00:13:37,688
Casual.
387
00:13:37,722 --> 00:13:38,989
Au naturel.
388
00:13:39,023 --> 00:13:41,024
Au casual.
You know what?
389
00:13:41,059 --> 00:13:42,993
Maybe I should write
you some lines, pal.
390
00:13:43,027 --> 00:13:43,927
Yeah, I'd really
appreciate that 'cause...
391
00:13:43,962 --> 00:13:45,729
Maybe not a lot of words.
392
00:13:45,764 --> 00:13:50,300
Uh, so tell me, what are
your three weakest qualities?
393
00:13:50,335 --> 00:13:52,536
(chuckles)
See...
394
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:53,771
(whispering):
Just say "perfectionist."
395
00:13:53,805 --> 00:13:55,139
- Perfectionist.
- Yeah.
396
00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:59,376
And the other two... um...
397
00:14:00,545 --> 00:14:02,146
(laughs)
398
00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:03,313
(sputtering)
399
00:14:04,416 --> 00:14:05,382
I'm overheating, right?
400
00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:06,884
I'm overheating, okay?
401
00:14:06,918 --> 00:14:08,385
So here's
what we're gonna do now...
402
00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:10,854
I'm just gonna shoot
from the hip, little rapid fire,
403
00:14:10,889 --> 00:14:13,624
give you some fun facts
you might not know about me.
404
00:14:13,658 --> 00:14:14,825
I hate standing up,
405
00:14:14,859 --> 00:14:15,859
I'm bad with numbers,
406
00:14:15,894 --> 00:14:16,994
and...
407
00:14:17,028 --> 00:14:19,430
I just honestly,
from the bottom of my heart,
408
00:14:19,464 --> 00:14:22,800
don't think women should be
allowed to handle money.
409
00:14:22,834 --> 00:14:24,835
Just, that's for real.
410
00:14:26,838 --> 00:14:29,440
Let's just move on to the salary.
411
00:14:29,474 --> 00:14:32,409
And you didn't even fill out
the back of the application.
412
00:14:32,444 --> 00:14:34,278
There's a back?
413
00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:37,181
There is a back to the application?
414
00:14:37,215 --> 00:14:38,715
- Coach.
- What?
415
00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:42,086
The LAPD exam...
maybe it had a back.
416
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,988
You didn't check to
see if it had a back?
417
00:14:45,023 --> 00:14:46,323
We got to go to the precinct.
418
00:14:46,357 --> 00:14:48,258
I didn't choke.
I'm just careless.
419
00:14:48,293 --> 00:14:52,996
And that is my biggest
weakness, you bitch.
420
00:14:53,031 --> 00:14:54,998
- I'm so sorry, dude. I'm so sorry, dude.
- Yeah, that was bad.
421
00:14:55,033 --> 00:14:56,767
- Man, I didn't even mean that.
- All right, get out of here.
422
00:14:56,801 --> 00:14:59,203
- Get out of here.
- Dawg, I didn't mean that at all, man.
423
00:14:59,237 --> 00:15:01,739
To our newest resident.
424
00:15:01,773 --> 00:15:04,942
The City of Angels has sprouted
another pair of wings.
425
00:15:04,976 --> 00:15:09,046
It's a majestic city,
drenched in sunshine,
426
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,447
that is actually just a collection
427
00:15:10,482 --> 00:15:13,350
of 75 different neighborhoods.
428
00:15:13,385 --> 00:15:15,185
Wow, I had no idea.
429
00:15:15,220 --> 00:15:17,321
Please continue to tell me more.
430
00:15:17,355 --> 00:15:19,623
- You want more?
- Who wants to rediscover couscous?
431
00:15:19,657 --> 00:15:20,803
Hey, what the hell are you
doing here, Schmidt?
432
00:15:20,959 --> 00:15:22,159
I invited him.
433
00:15:22,194 --> 00:15:24,228
- I live here, too, right?
- Yeah, but...
434
00:15:24,262 --> 00:15:26,063
It's okay, Abby can
make her own decisions,
435
00:15:26,097 --> 00:15:27,865
no matter what
they might lead to.
436
00:15:27,899 --> 00:15:30,367
- Thank you.
- Now, somebody call the pound
437
00:15:30,402 --> 00:15:31,802
'cause my stomach is growling.
438
00:15:34,506 --> 00:15:36,473
I said my stomach is growling.
439
00:15:36,508 --> 00:15:39,042
Sp... okay, uh, speaking of dinner,
440
00:15:39,077 --> 00:15:42,212
there are a lot of great options
in North Hollywood.
441
00:15:42,247 --> 00:15:43,547
It's a real hot spot
442
00:15:43,581 --> 00:15:44,948
full of young, hip people
443
00:15:44,983 --> 00:15:46,583
who will be the leaders
of tomorrow.
444
00:15:46,618 --> 00:15:49,453
- More wine?
- Great.
445
00:15:49,487 --> 00:15:52,923
If I were moving to L.A. now,
I'd say yes-ho to NoHo.
446
00:15:52,957 --> 00:15:54,425
Nick: Hey, hey, what are you doing?
447
00:15:54,459 --> 00:15:56,393
Oh, my.
448
00:15:56,428 --> 00:15:57,928
Stop touching him, Abby.
449
00:15:57,962 --> 00:15:59,630
I'm sorry, what'd you say?
450
00:15:59,664 --> 00:16:01,598
- Touch him more?
- Do not touch him.
451
00:16:01,633 --> 00:16:04,501
What are you...?
Do not do this right now.
452
00:16:04,536 --> 00:16:05,836
(whispering):
How about that?
453
00:16:06,971 --> 00:16:10,407
As luck would have it, I actually know
of a place in North Hollywood
454
00:16:10,442 --> 00:16:13,677
with great tile work.
455
00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,746
(pouring wine)
456
00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:18,415
I said, "Great tile work."
457
00:16:18,450 --> 00:16:20,217
Oh, for the first 12 months.
458
00:16:21,019 --> 00:16:22,753
(Jess laughs)
459
00:16:22,787 --> 00:16:24,755
I think what you really
mean to say is
460
00:16:24,789 --> 00:16:26,857
there's an introductory offer
461
00:16:26,891 --> 00:16:28,892
- for cable television.
- That's it, yeah...
462
00:16:28,927 --> 00:16:30,027
Cable's a scam, I tell ya.
463
00:16:30,061 --> 00:16:31,228
Sa... Satellite.
464
00:16:32,530 --> 00:16:33,897
What happened to
no nonsense, Schmidt?
465
00:16:33,932 --> 00:16:35,632
Satellite's where it's at.
466
00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:37,301
(whispering): Nonsense has
the hands of an angel.
467
00:16:37,335 --> 00:16:38,635
Okay, what's going on here?
468
00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:40,337
(chuckles)
469
00:16:40,371 --> 00:16:43,073
I told Abby about the apartment,
and now she's...
470
00:16:43,108 --> 00:16:45,709
giving Schmidt a sp...
a special.
471
00:16:48,179 --> 00:16:49,379
Don't look at me.
472
00:16:49,414 --> 00:16:50,814
Just look away.
473
00:16:50,849 --> 00:16:53,717
Look away, look...
or look right at me.
474
00:16:58,330 --> 00:17:00,731
- So this was going on the whole time?
- Yes.
475
00:17:00,766 --> 00:17:02,700
And the hands are
just the half of it.
476
00:17:02,734 --> 00:17:05,202
I mean, there's been banging
and poking and scratching
477
00:17:05,237 --> 00:17:08,305
and hanging and teasing...
such teasing.
478
00:17:08,340 --> 00:17:10,741
I mean, really excruciating,
life-giving teasing.
479
00:17:10,776 --> 00:17:12,076
Shut up, Schmidt!
480
00:17:12,110 --> 00:17:13,110
She was talking to me.
481
00:17:13,145 --> 00:17:16,313
This has been a whole day of lying
and I can't take it.
482
00:17:16,348 --> 00:17:18,482
First I had to lie to Abby,
and so I spilled the beans
483
00:17:18,517 --> 00:17:20,017
- about the apartment.
- I'm sorry.
484
00:17:20,052 --> 00:17:23,154
And then I had to lie about Abby
and Schmidt and the boning.
485
00:17:23,188 --> 00:17:24,922
And then the manipulating
486
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,524
and the out-manipulating...
487
00:17:26,558 --> 00:17:27,758
That's lying!
488
00:17:27,793 --> 00:17:31,262
If you guys were just honest
with each other for one second,
489
00:17:31,296 --> 00:17:33,364
none of this would
have happened.
490
00:17:33,398 --> 00:17:35,132
Okay. All right. Abby...
491
00:17:35,167 --> 00:17:37,601
I'm really sorry
I tried to trick you,
492
00:17:37,636 --> 00:17:39,670
but I just want
what's best for you.
493
00:17:39,704 --> 00:17:42,173
- One of us has to!
- You know, that is your problem.
494
00:17:42,207 --> 00:17:44,341
You think you're better than people
and you always try to fix them.
495
00:17:44,376 --> 00:17:46,210
- No, I don't!
- Yes, you do.
496
00:17:46,244 --> 00:17:47,611
You've done it your whole life.
It's annoying.
497
00:17:47,646 --> 00:17:48,979
You know what? Yes.
498
00:17:49,014 --> 00:17:51,782
Yes. I would like to fix you.
499
00:17:51,817 --> 00:17:52,883
No...
500
00:17:52,918 --> 00:17:54,452
I would love to fix you!
501
00:17:54,486 --> 00:17:55,719
But I'm done trying.
502
00:17:55,754 --> 00:17:57,354
Because you're not changing.
503
00:17:57,389 --> 00:17:59,190
And you don't think or care
504
00:17:59,224 --> 00:18:02,359
about other people at all,
and I do.
505
00:18:02,394 --> 00:18:04,628
And that's why I don't want you
living in this loft.
506
00:18:05,564 --> 00:18:06,897
(scoffs)
507
00:18:06,932 --> 00:18:08,065
That's honest.
508
00:18:08,834 --> 00:18:10,634
You're a garbage person
509
00:18:10,669 --> 00:18:12,570
and you should live in
a Dumpster with rotten snails.
510
00:18:12,604 --> 00:18:14,572
Hey! Nick!
511
00:18:14,606 --> 00:18:16,540
- Too far!
- Yeah, way over the line, buddy.
512
00:18:16,575 --> 00:18:17,575
Yeah, but I thought
we were just piling in...
513
00:18:17,609 --> 00:18:18,809
That's my sister, dude.
514
00:18:18,844 --> 00:18:19,977
I didn't mean that, yeah.
515
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:23,681
- Sorry.
- Well, lucky for you,
516
00:18:23,715 --> 00:18:24,982
I'm moving out.
517
00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:27,485
Oh, thank God, Abby.
Oh, my God.
518
00:18:27,519 --> 00:18:29,253
You're really gonna like this place.
519
00:18:29,287 --> 00:18:31,722
- It's so nice...
- I'm moving in with Schmidt.
520
00:18:31,757 --> 00:18:33,557
What... what's that, now?
You're moving in with who?
521
00:18:33,592 --> 00:18:35,126
- Seriously?
- We would have sex all the time.
522
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,627
(chuckles) Dinner was lovely, you guys.
523
00:18:36,661 --> 00:18:38,195
- Thank you so much.
- Bye.
524
00:18:39,798 --> 00:18:41,265
- What?
- Schmidt: Ooh. Hey, uh, Jess?
525
00:18:41,299 --> 00:18:42,666
Can I borrow your glasses?
526
00:18:42,701 --> 00:18:43,934
We're gonna role-play
as you guys.
527
00:18:43,969 --> 00:18:45,836
Ew. No.
528
00:18:45,871 --> 00:18:47,238
You don't understand.
529
00:18:47,272 --> 00:18:48,906
She's not gonna be you.
I'm gonna be you.
530
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:50,374
Ugh! Get out, Schmidt!
Get out of here!
531
00:18:50,409 --> 00:18:51,809
Okay...
532
00:18:53,178 --> 00:18:55,046
Oh, God!
533
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,947
Winston: What's up, my man?
534
00:18:56,982 --> 00:18:58,315
I took the test last week...
535
00:18:58,350 --> 00:19:01,619
or should I say, I took the front part
of the test last week...
536
00:19:01,653 --> 00:19:04,522
and, sir, I am here
to finish what I started.
537
00:19:04,556 --> 00:19:05,923
What?
538
00:19:05,957 --> 00:19:08,492
What he's trying to say is,
he took the entrance exam,
539
00:19:08,527 --> 00:19:10,027
but he forgot
to do the back half.
540
00:19:10,062 --> 00:19:11,729
Well, the test is
administered on a computer.
541
00:19:11,763 --> 00:19:13,130
There is no back.
542
00:19:16,702 --> 00:19:18,769
You took the test
on a computer?
543
00:19:18,804 --> 00:19:21,005
I choked. I am a failure.
I am a loser.
544
00:19:21,039 --> 00:19:22,673
I am never gonna
amount to anything.
545
00:19:22,708 --> 00:19:23,908
I'm never gonna shoot somebody.
546
00:19:23,942 --> 00:19:27,311
Dude. Have some dignity, all right?
547
00:19:27,345 --> 00:19:28,713
Thank you for your time, sir.
548
00:19:28,747 --> 00:19:30,381
Coach: Winston.
549
00:19:30,415 --> 00:19:31,515
Winston!
550
00:19:31,550 --> 00:19:32,950
Yo!
551
00:19:32,984 --> 00:19:33,784
Winston!
552
00:19:33,819 --> 00:19:36,587
Dude, you failed, man.
553
00:19:37,756 --> 00:19:40,357
You failed hard!
At everything!
554
00:19:40,392 --> 00:19:43,360
- Dude, this pep talk sucks.
- I'm not finished.
555
00:19:43,395 --> 00:19:45,162
Like, seriously, it's like
the Winston of pep talks.
556
00:19:45,197 --> 00:19:46,630
Look at me.
557
00:19:46,665 --> 00:19:48,065
You can do this, Winston.
558
00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:50,868
Because now there's
nothing to be afraid of.
559
00:19:50,902 --> 00:19:53,337
You hit rock bottom, man.
560
00:19:53,371 --> 00:19:55,072
This is the worst it's gonna get.
561
00:20:00,278 --> 00:20:04,915
Sir, it has been my dream
to become a cop.
562
00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:06,584
And no one's gonna
stand in my way...
563
00:20:06,618 --> 00:20:07,785
not you, not him...
564
00:20:07,819 --> 00:20:09,653
Hey, I was helping.
565
00:20:09,688 --> 00:20:11,122
...and definitely not myself.
566
00:20:11,156 --> 00:20:13,491
I would like
to retake this test.
567
00:20:13,525 --> 00:20:16,327
Well, there's one at 7:30 tomorrow.
568
00:20:16,361 --> 00:20:18,362
Man, what about my last score
makes you think
569
00:20:18,397 --> 00:20:20,431
I'm ready to take this test
again in 12 hours?
570
00:20:20,465 --> 00:20:22,033
Coach: He'll be there.
571
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:23,367
- Yeah, I'll be there.
- Yeah.
572
00:20:24,736 --> 00:20:27,905
Thank you for messing everything up
and being such a terrible liar.
573
00:20:27,939 --> 00:20:29,006
Uh, you are very welcome.
574
00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:31,542
I think I really needed
to say that stuff to my sister.
575
00:20:31,576 --> 00:20:34,045
- She's gonna wreck Schmidt.
- Oof...
576
00:20:34,079 --> 00:20:36,113
He has no idea.
577
00:20:36,148 --> 00:20:38,215
I'm sorry my family's so crazy.
578
00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:39,683
Crazy?
579
00:20:39,718 --> 00:20:41,152
Your family's not crazy.
My family's crazy.
580
00:20:41,186 --> 00:20:43,521
My father used to
trade horse semen.
581
00:20:43,555 --> 00:20:46,557
I've got an uncle whose
God-given name is Shifty.
582
00:20:46,591 --> 00:20:47,892
(laughing)
583
00:20:47,926 --> 00:20:50,861
Well, thank goodness...
584
00:20:50,896 --> 00:20:52,296
we're the sane ones.
585
00:20:52,330 --> 00:20:53,531
(chuckles)
586
00:20:53,565 --> 00:20:54,899
So...
587
00:20:54,933 --> 00:20:57,968
- Okay, now, remember: Up, and...
- Uh-huh.
588
00:20:58,637 --> 00:21:00,905
(screams)
589
00:21:00,939 --> 00:21:02,173
(elevator bell dings)
590
00:21:03,475 --> 00:21:04,608
Hello, Abby.
591
00:21:04,643 --> 00:21:06,577
Hey. S'up?
592
00:21:06,611 --> 00:21:08,479
Have you thought about
what you're gonna do
593
00:21:08,513 --> 00:21:10,147
if they pair you
with a dirty cop?
594
00:21:11,616 --> 00:21:14,719
Well, then, I would just
go to Internal Affairs.
595
00:21:14,753 --> 00:21:15,920
Well, that's a good way
to get killed.
596
00:21:15,954 --> 00:21:17,788
Then at least I would die a hero.
597
00:21:17,823 --> 00:21:19,657
Hmm, no, you won't.
598
00:21:19,691 --> 00:21:21,559
They'll put you in panties
and then they'll plant you
599
00:21:21,593 --> 00:21:22,793
next to a dead prostitute.
600
00:21:22,828 --> 00:21:24,729
That's a poor lady.
601
00:21:24,763 --> 00:21:26,764
It'd be a dude.
602
00:21:26,798 --> 00:21:28,666
But it's awesome!
603
00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:31,102
Good luck on the exam!
604
00:21:32,170 --> 00:21:36,639
They got dude prostitutes?
Nuh-uh.
605
00:21:36,786 --> 00:21:40,152
Synced and corrected by backinblack
www.addic7ed.com